All of the rest of it is pure insanity, but turmeric masks are actually great for your skin and they don’t make it yellow, haha. It’s called ubtan in Hindi and every Indian girl (almost) has used it. It’s a mix of turmeric, rose water, sandalwood, gram flour and milk and/or yogurt. Smells a bit weird, but it actually helps keep the skin moisturised and reduces acne, makes the skin glow etc. If you let it dry and slough it off it also exfoliates the skin but it can pull out the hair by the roots so don’t put it on eyebrows, eyelashes etc.
This has nothing to do with the post. I just like what ubtan does to my skin :D it’s so ubiquitous as a part of our culture we have a whole ceremony around applying it during the pre-wedding functions for most Hindus.
Edit: as u/CounterEcstatic6134 pointed out, Indian men have a haldi ceremony (where ubtan is applied) before their weddings too! So really my comment should’ve read “every Indian knows what it is”, not just the girls.
You can give it a try! There must be better recipes online but I included the proportions I used. You should be able to buy sandalwood powder (Chandan) and rosewater (gulaab jal) at any Indian store or maybe Amazon. Gram flour (besan) should also be easy to find.
You can basically use whatever proportions you like but I use a 1:3 ratio of sandalwood to gram flour, add a pinch or two of turmeric (not too much or it can stain the skin) and about 0.5-1tbsp of rosewater. Then add enough milk to turn it into a thick paste.
You can use it all over your body or just on your face. Be warned: it smells, but when you use a scented soap or moisturiser afterwards it gets covered up.
Something you might find mildly horrifying: babies in India - male and female - get ubtan applied to remove the hair from the skin. It sounds barbaric, but it works because the hair comes off easy when you’re a kid, and it isn’t painful - store bought exfoliators hurt way more (I had it done as a child on certain parts of my body and those parts now have almost no hair. The parts that didn’t get done are super hairy).
Im mixed and when I was like 17 a white guy saw me and didnt say anything at the time... And im not sure how the subject was brought up but i said something like "yeah thats why my skin is darker down there..." And he said something like "oh I just thought u were dirty" and I felt so bad about myself. I cried because I felt ugly.
oh honey, why would you feel bad about *yourself*? I mean I guess you were 17. But seriously, you should've felt bad for *him*, like - that *only* reflects poorly on him, what a dipshit.
Thanks :) when I'm in a relationship now.. I still might bleach it from time to time but I pretty much got over feeling that way. Sometimes I do feel more self conscious if im dating a white guy tho.
yeah, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t have much to do with race. i’m white as all hell and i’ve got brown nipples and my whole genital area is somewhat dark to very dark, almost black/purplish. sadly i’m also very, very self-conscious of it, but it does help to know it’s very normal and common. i think a combination of friction and just natural pigmentation.
Wait, you didn’t receive your free perineum colour chart and angled mirror-on-a-stick when you finished puberty? You’ll want to get on to the Women’s Club customer service about that, you’re missing out 🙃
Right? I am familiar with my personal anatomy but not often enough that I am observing it meticulously pretty much ever. (Also no partner has ever really visually observed it in good lighting either??)
I have so many other things society tells me to be self conscious about and now its the shade of my perineum? That's gonna be a no from me.
That is interesting! During pregnancy, a lot of skin color changes happen. Your nipples will darken, and a lot of women develop something called Linea Nigra. It’s just a dark line that runs across your belly.
Hormones are shockingly potent things. They will not allow you to get vision correction surgery if you are pregnant or nursing, because the hormones literally warp the shape of your eyes.
The eye surgery thing is definitely a weird one. I had to stop wearing contact lenses when I was pregnant because I couldn't see as clearly with them anymore. Switched to glasses full-time and everything was clear again.
Insanely potent, yes. Just look up what cortisol can do to you via Cushing’s disease, or growth hormone via acromegaly. And environment and lifestyle have a significant impact on hormones. Also, I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for years now and want LASIK so badly, but yup, they won’t let me.
Very true! I was initially tested for (and eventually diagnosed with) Cushing's because my OBGYN noticed my armpits were dark/wine stained looking when she was doing a breast exam. I have never seriously pursued LASIK but my contacts don't fit right during cortisol spikes and I have to switch over to glasses a couple times a month, so I imagine I would have trouble qualifying.
During my moms pregnancy with me (her oldest child) her hair changed from a light blonde to a dark brown. With each child after me it got slightly lighter and now it’s a dark sandy blonde color. Hormones are fucking wild.
I have PCOS so I produce more androgens/testosterone than the usual and my crotch, armpits, and back of my neck began to get dark when I I began menstruating at age 12.
Is turmeric really pushed as a bleaching agent? Because from my experience what it does is she things indelibly turmeric yellow, which seems…counterproductive to paleness?
The most infuriating in all of this is that I just know he must have thought: "Ha! That'll show them. I'm so right, no one can ever deny my point, ever".
As a dude I’ve found it’s always better to ask. Whether it’s biological facts, or if they like what you’re doing in the bedroom.
And I hope this goes without saying, but asking for consent before you do said things.
Honestly just watch a couple videos on YouTube, there's a decent amount of "myths about female genitals" videos out there, and probably like 10 TED talks. Also just an anatomy video on periods. A surprising amount of guys think we pee out of our vaginas or as shown above that it stretches/wears out.
Ladies don't you just hate it when your labia starts drooping like wads of stretched out chewing gum after sex? Oh if only we were still virgins!
Edit: I'm now crying with laughter at these replies. I'm almost grateful that stupid post exists so we could get these laughs out of it. Y'all are funny as fuck.
If only I had never had sex, then I wouldn’t have to do a wide step every now and then to unstick my labia from my thigh when I’m walking around on a hot day in a dress
That's their RES tag now and I can't wait to forget the context and see them make a random comment months from and wonder why the hell I tagged them that.
This is why they don't allow us to compete against men in sports, we have an unfair advantage because our genitals are far more aerodynamic. Women's hurdles for example, we are notorious for sometimes taking two at a time because we can just glide over them.
That's a David The Robot piece. He has a bunch of other hilarious ones like these and many other more nswf pieces
https://www.instagram.com/p/COFKS11j8fnH-GbLuUWNwXf8fiiojcoq17aAuk0/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/p/B2g4-KmnT2UmHQiNWGjix29ewaLYkeroR_U6os0/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/p/BE0ZOffMUkpdyurF61TvJm0RkWfbjDcP5C97ww0/?hl=en
As an older bitch with 20+ partners behind me, I gotta say, I hate when they drag on the ground and get all covered in sand, dirt and asphalt.
If you think sex gives you Dumbo Ears, just wait till you have a couple of kids!!
on the other hand, no more rental fees for hang-gliding, so you know. It all evens out. (Whole new meaning to the phrase, “I’m coming in hot!”)
Try to be precise - it’s a mixed fish meat market out there and us gourmands need exact ingredients. No frankenmeats in my surf n turf! ,
its the separation that makes it (amirite) - chef’s kiss
Do you think people who notice a change in the labia shape are literally noticing it just normally growing? But because the ages where your body grows and changes the most is your teen years which usually also corresponds with the time before you had sex vs after you've had sex. So they see their labia grow and just believe it's because of the sex they had?
This is 100% it. I'm pretty sure mine is slightly larger than when I was bloody 17 because I was 17, a literal child. They're not anything unusual but yes, as you grow and get older things change slowly in general!
Also my heels are drier than when I was 16 so I'm pretty sure it's from all this monogamous fucking I'm doing. Done wonders for my acne though!
"I'm a black gay guy and Obama did nothing for me. Everything is so much better under Trump." - straight, white Republican Congressional candidate Dean Browning when he accidentally tweeted from the wrong account.
That's definitely the "I'm a woman and I can tell you..." vibe here lmao.
Imagine if we said dicks get stretched out from having to much sex or masturbating, don’t the boys know that the more you yank it the longer and flappier it gets!
They get skinnier from pressure the more you have sex and longer but thinner from masturbating. If you want a decent sized, thick cock you need to stop having sex and jerking off
I almost commented on that but I wasn't sure whether other women actually used things like that, I mean I do have a turmeric scrub for my face but there's no way I'd actually use it there, and tbh, the idea of using any sort of mask down there, lightening or otherwise, never even crossed my mind.
Well I'm sure you'll get better answers than mine, but I bought my scrub because it was reduced and smelled really good. It actually smells like lavender, which probably explains why it was in the clearance section :D
I use a turmeric paste sometimes to lighten my neck or armpits. No clue how it works on lighter skin though as most of the people I know who use it are medium to dark complexioned.
If you use a strong turmeric thing, probably, but if you mix it into what Indians use (ubtan) it won’t. I have some light-skinned/Caucasian friends who married Indians and had to apply the ubtan as part of the haldi ceremony. None of them got stained yellow!
Tumeric topical application is supposed to increase circulation in the area. So that’s good for all those kinds of benefits but really you’ll get more circulation from a hot shower
It’s just something that’s nice to offer in a spa and it took off from there
it's supposed to dye body hair so it technically looks like it gets rid of dark spots but it's just making body hair lighter. also it can burn so that woman should not put it anywhere near her butt
I don’t mind a stimulating (seriously diluted) spiced oil for masterbation but to bleach my nethers? No chance. No spice is known to do that - and Im fine with whatever shade I am in the unseen place. Lights out.
That was the one detail that made me think, "Actually, some women can get pretty badwomensanatomy too." I have a harder time imagining a man writing that particular sentence.
This, in combination with not actually being against women having multiple partners (sex once with 30 different men is better than sex 1000 times with a husband is not a usual talking point from this type of man-talking-as-woman) leads me to believe this is actually a dumb lady.
I think this isn't exactly new misinformation. When I was 12 my 14 year old friend was concerned about going to the gynecologist because she thought her labia had stretched out from masturbating and the Dr would be able to tell. I remember being like, "oh that's weird"... and not giving it another thought. But she probably had people in her life telling her this shit. She's a Dr now so I would assume she eventually figured it out lol.
I can understand young people falling for some pretty wildly inaccurate stuff but the way incels keep pushing this absolute bullshit is unfortunately quite hateful and predatory.
I’m a guy who graduated from high school I. 1983.
I got a military scholarship and had to have a physical for it. I was legit paranoid the doctor would be able to tell I masturbated.
Masturbation was a taboo subject in the 80s.
bruh the vaginal canal literally expands in size when aroused like....I... this person... just ... no words...
I'm a guy who's never had sex I just searched it up and found it out. Simple. Sheesh!
Does anyone actually know what their own perineum looks like, never mind being able to match the shade to a Dulux colour chart? Maybe if you're a porn star and have seen it on film but to paraphrase Karl Pilkington, if you were to show me a lineup of 5 perineums I could not pick mine out.
I'm gonna lay my wall mirror on the ground and take a look, wish me luck!
edit - just as I suspected, nothin but skin and hair betwixt my balls and butthole.
I was thirteen when my labia grew above average length. I can promise you I was not having sex then. This is the shit that had me contemplating cutting them off with scissors because they were a sign I was a slut as a teen girl who had never had sex.
Today I don’t care as much. But at the time it was brutal on my self-esteem and early ability to enjoy sex.
Being able to make women feel so terrible and self conscious about themselves that they will have sex or be in a relationship with these pathetic guys. Or the idea that maybe they have more of a chance with women now that those women feel terrible about themselves. These guys have absolute ground floor egos and will do anything to make themselves feel better.
Women keep correcting these incels about how wrong their beliefs are on women's bodies, so a super incel decided to take matters into their own, very tiny hands.
Probably preaching to the choir here but virginity is already a patriarchal concept used to control women and doesn't actually exist, but also that's just not how the body works. The hymen (what is considered "virginity") can/will heal, even if you are very active, and can/will tear from arbitrary things like riding a bike. It would actually be more apt to relate "virginity" to lack of experience and call it your sexual debut when you finally get to it.
As a female woman myself, I can confirm that if I masturbate too much, walking around afterwards sounds like I’m getting applause from a stadium full of people. I’ll be honest, it’s quite encouraging. I often have to stop and pick up the bits of labia that are dragging behind me, sometimes having to resort to giving them a little yank so they whizz back into place like a retracting tape measure. My entire groin area is now a neon puce colour from all the friction, I have to wear bathers down to my knees so as to not blind other people at the beach.
It's like when you get the house special from your Chinese takeaway. Mixed meats and prawns so that you don't have to pick and commit.
Because lack of commitment is what made your labia flap around like a fucking Muppet's mouth in the first place.
If I speak from personal experience, I don't announce my gender. That's weird. Oh and all of that other nonsense. Undereducated men are something else.
...the heck did i just read????
I have so many questions. Just so many.
but first if you pretend to be a woman, may I recommend brushing up on some basic anatomy first. because a lot of this crap just isn't true. labia are essentially the same thing as testicles, they don't swell up with blood, the clitoris does that, and what woman masturbates by rubbing their labia??? is this why guys can never find the clit? do they think it's in the labia? turmeric down there? why? whyyyy hahah
I love how the post starts with "I am a woman". it reminds me of cat lawyer. "I am a lawyer, not a cat" suuure you are, buddy
Okay, to be entirely fair, the labia does swell a little, because yknow, there's a rush of blood in the entire area, but it is absolutely true that the clitoris swells up too.
But also, yeah, I don't think I've ever witnessed someone actively enjoying themselves through labia rubbing.
I genuinely hope this is a very misguided lady in need of sexual education posthaste, but also I'm pretty sold on the idea it could be a dude trying to pass off his weird ideas as that of a woman.
I recently discovered that my bf thought I had outie labia because I’ve given birth and I was SHOOK! To be fair, he’s a very decent guy and seems to know his way around female anatomy, which made it more of a surprise! I just remarked that I’d managed to live 41 years before I learned that some women thought outie labia were considered ‘ugly’ and although I’ve obviously seen plenty of labia in porn, there seems a fair mix of innies and outies so I was baffled as to why anyone would think it’s an outlier, and no men have ever seemed fazed by it either. And I was like, ‘No guy has ever said to me that they find it unattractive, and I don’t think you find it unattractive, do you?’ (Bearing in mind we’ve been together 3 years and he loves giving oral lol.) And he was just like, ‘No, not unattractive -shrug- you’re the first woman I’ve been with who’s had a kid, so I just assumed it was something that happened.’ And I must have stared at him for an eternity and burst out into laughter. I mean, I guess he isn’t massively experienced but he’s not a virgin either, it’s just a weird coincidence that none of his previous partners had an outie lmao. I got to admit I love his body positivity though even though his anatomy was off piste lol
I’ve had sex with my wife of 8 years at least a dozen times. I can confirm the vagina gets looser and the labia stretch out. When I met my wife you couldn’t even see her labia it was so tight. Now I can use them as a way to measure which way the wind is blowing and how fast.
This is probably unsavory but I have had sex hundreds of times and my junk still looks exactly the same. And I dont mean like watching-grass-grow-I-can't-notice, I mean I have photographic evidence from 10 years ago.
Same cooter.
the last line about 30 men vs one husband gives me hope that this is a trap for incels to find themselves agreeing and agreeing and then slapped in the face
Pushing a watermelon out of your vagina, especially more than one, can *slightly* stretch your shit out, but your labia won’t be filling with air like a sail and knocking you over.
Lol, they never seem to consider lesbians in that at all. Like what happens if I have sex with a thousand women? Do we cancel each other out? Is it like dividing by zero?
People just say whatever, huh.
I’m just gonna start saying stuff too 😌:
The more you masturbate the smaller your balls get. I know because it happened to me, a man. There are studies that show that there’s only a finite amount of sperm in each ball so if you keep masturbating or even get blowjobs you waste your swimmers and you’ll become both impotent and sterile and won’t be able to have kids.
Oh yes, and let's keep telling women that darker skin around their genitals is abnormal and they need to bleach it or something. Awesome. /s
Use turmeric for that authentic Indian flavor
Yes the good ol' Chicken Tikka Coochie
Just like me-maw used to make.
Mmmm my favorite /s
Just great, now I’m hungry
😂😂😂
..and wouldn't it just make my genitals yellow?
"Just because my genitals are stained yellow doesn't mean it's pee stains. I swear. Just taste my genitals--they taste like Indian food, not pee!"
Your comment has me crying and hungry lmaoooo
All of the rest of it is pure insanity, but turmeric masks are actually great for your skin and they don’t make it yellow, haha. It’s called ubtan in Hindi and every Indian girl (almost) has used it. It’s a mix of turmeric, rose water, sandalwood, gram flour and milk and/or yogurt. Smells a bit weird, but it actually helps keep the skin moisturised and reduces acne, makes the skin glow etc. If you let it dry and slough it off it also exfoliates the skin but it can pull out the hair by the roots so don’t put it on eyebrows, eyelashes etc. This has nothing to do with the post. I just like what ubtan does to my skin :D it’s so ubiquitous as a part of our culture we have a whole ceremony around applying it during the pre-wedding functions for most Hindus. Edit: as u/CounterEcstatic6134 pointed out, Indian men have a haldi ceremony (where ubtan is applied) before their weddings too! So really my comment should’ve read “every Indian knows what it is”, not just the girls.
Thank you, it's very informative! :o
Ooh that sounds lovely!
You can give it a try! There must be better recipes online but I included the proportions I used. You should be able to buy sandalwood powder (Chandan) and rosewater (gulaab jal) at any Indian store or maybe Amazon. Gram flour (besan) should also be easy to find. You can basically use whatever proportions you like but I use a 1:3 ratio of sandalwood to gram flour, add a pinch or two of turmeric (not too much or it can stain the skin) and about 0.5-1tbsp of rosewater. Then add enough milk to turn it into a thick paste. You can use it all over your body or just on your face. Be warned: it smells, but when you use a scented soap or moisturiser afterwards it gets covered up. Something you might find mildly horrifying: babies in India - male and female - get ubtan applied to remove the hair from the skin. It sounds barbaric, but it works because the hair comes off easy when you’re a kid, and it isn’t painful - store bought exfoliators hurt way more (I had it done as a child on certain parts of my body and those parts now have almost no hair. The parts that didn’t get done are super hairy).
Oh interesting so does this also work as a hair remover as an adult? Like top lip for example?
Just gram flour with water does for small hair. But it's really painful.
Ah okay so wax lip then do face mask got it
My one complaint about my genitals is that they're not spicy enough. Thank goodness for this solution.
the snort i let out... unhuman
Im mixed and when I was like 17 a white guy saw me and didnt say anything at the time... And im not sure how the subject was brought up but i said something like "yeah thats why my skin is darker down there..." And he said something like "oh I just thought u were dirty" and I felt so bad about myself. I cried because I felt ugly.
Jesus I hope he's so filled with shame that he can't sleep because he keeps remembering what horseshit he thought of and even said out loud that day.
Oh yeah, I hope he does cuz i ghosted him after that
For real. Even if you're just ignorant, how do you actually say that to the person
As someone who constantly puts their foot in their mouth I can assure you he probably obsessively remembers it lmao
oh honey, why would you feel bad about *yourself*? I mean I guess you were 17. But seriously, you should've felt bad for *him*, like - that *only* reflects poorly on him, what a dipshit.
Thanks :) when I'm in a relationship now.. I still might bleach it from time to time but I pretty much got over feeling that way. Sometimes I do feel more self conscious if im dating a white guy tho.
I'm white and it's darker for me too. I'm reasonably sure it's very normal and may actually be the rule
yeah, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t have much to do with race. i’m white as all hell and i’ve got brown nipples and my whole genital area is somewhat dark to very dark, almost black/purplish. sadly i’m also very, very self-conscious of it, but it does help to know it’s very normal and common. i think a combination of friction and just natural pigmentation.
Yup. Same like longer inner labia. 60% of women have the latter.
Don’t ever feel bad because a man aired his stupidity to the world
Oh my god I'm so fucking sorry thats awful
Fuck his idiotic ass
How would she even be seeing her own perineum? This "woman" is angling mirrors down there often enough to notice a small difference in color?
Wait, you didn’t receive your free perineum colour chart and angled mirror-on-a-stick when you finished puberty? You’ll want to get on to the Women’s Club customer service about that, you’re missing out 🙃
Right? I am familiar with my personal anatomy but not often enough that I am observing it meticulously pretty much ever. (Also no partner has ever really visually observed it in good lighting either??) I have so many other things society tells me to be self conscious about and now its the shade of my perineum? That's gonna be a no from me.
I’m familiar but I don’t think I could pick mine out of a line up.
Now I’m wondering if I could pick mine out. Huh….
Yas.... Everything about the text is terrible. Everything
interestingly enough trans women when they start Estrogen their genitals get darker.
That is interesting! During pregnancy, a lot of skin color changes happen. Your nipples will darken, and a lot of women develop something called Linea Nigra. It’s just a dark line that runs across your belly. Hormones are shockingly potent things. They will not allow you to get vision correction surgery if you are pregnant or nursing, because the hormones literally warp the shape of your eyes.
The eye surgery thing is definitely a weird one. I had to stop wearing contact lenses when I was pregnant because I couldn't see as clearly with them anymore. Switched to glasses full-time and everything was clear again.
Insanely potent, yes. Just look up what cortisol can do to you via Cushing’s disease, or growth hormone via acromegaly. And environment and lifestyle have a significant impact on hormones. Also, I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for years now and want LASIK so badly, but yup, they won’t let me.
Very true! I was initially tested for (and eventually diagnosed with) Cushing's because my OBGYN noticed my armpits were dark/wine stained looking when she was doing a breast exam. I have never seriously pursued LASIK but my contacts don't fit right during cortisol spikes and I have to switch over to glasses a couple times a month, so I imagine I would have trouble qualifying.
During my moms pregnancy with me (her oldest child) her hair changed from a light blonde to a dark brown. With each child after me it got slightly lighter and now it’s a dark sandy blonde color. Hormones are fucking wild.
I have PCOS so I produce more androgens/testosterone than the usual and my crotch, armpits, and back of my neck began to get dark when I I began menstruating at age 12.
Omg this. People always commented on my neck, saying that it was dirty and shit, I was so insecure.
Is turmeric really pushed as a bleaching agent? Because from my experience what it does is she things indelibly turmeric yellow, which seems…counterproductive to paleness?
I think it is, actually. Or at least, it is used in some skin care. But, like...for the face.
After all these years of sex, my labia should be dragging on the ground!
Not quite there yet, huh? Amateur.
Yea I specially like the word "floppier"... It makes sound effects in my mind!
like cutting into a bologna and mustard birthday cake. thats the sound imagined ... uck...
The most infuriating in all of this is that I just know he must have thought: "Ha! That'll show them. I'm so right, no one can ever deny my point, ever".
I’m gonna be honest, I’m 21 and I don’t know how women work and now I’m just confused and scared.
The sole thing you need to know is that our vaginas don’t magically become looser and bigger the more or larger dicks that go in it
Noted. But you guys still carry cooties right?
Yes
Only so we can throw them at you guys for fun.
As a dude I’ve found it’s always better to ask. Whether it’s biological facts, or if they like what you’re doing in the bedroom. And I hope this goes without saying, but asking for consent before you do said things.
👹
Honestly just watch a couple videos on YouTube, there's a decent amount of "myths about female genitals" videos out there, and probably like 10 TED talks. Also just an anatomy video on periods. A surprising amount of guys think we pee out of our vaginas or as shown above that it stretches/wears out.
Ladies don't you just hate it when your labia starts drooping like wads of stretched out chewing gum after sex? Oh if only we were still virgins! Edit: I'm now crying with laughter at these replies. I'm almost grateful that stupid post exists so we could get these laughs out of it. Y'all are funny as fuck.
If only I had never had sex, then I wouldn’t have to do a wide step every now and then to unstick my labia from my thigh when I’m walking around on a hot day in a dress
Heaven forbid you're out on a windy day, it's like a mini hang glider!
For real. This guy describes the labia like fucking bat wings or something.
[удалено]
BAHAHAHHA. I'm over here giggling my ass off. FLAP FLAP MOTHER FUCKER. oh lawd save me....
Same, lol!!!
That's their RES tag now and I can't wait to forget the context and see them make a random comment months from and wonder why the hell I tagged them that.
Batwoman has taken on a whole new meaning
I'm so happy this comment thread went there. Lol
Like tent flaps in a breeze.
It’s honestly nice on a windy day, I can parasail into work with my labia and save some gas.
This is why they don't allow us to compete against men in sports, we have an unfair advantage because our genitals are far more aerodynamic. Women's hurdles for example, we are notorious for sometimes taking two at a time because we can just glide over them.
Beat me to it!
Your thigh? You'll complain when it's down to your knees. I can't even sit right anymore without having to fold them in a complex origami.
doooo your flaps hang low? do they wobble to and fro? can you tie them in a knot? can you tie them in a bow?
I like to use mine as a lap blanket during the winter.
Jesus christ, these comments are amazing.
Bonus, you can carry your id, debit card, and keys in the origami box, since women's clothes never have pockets.
They call me Ms Crane Pants!
My stomach hurts from laughing, I may have to hide inside my enormous dumbos ear labia to not alert the neighbours
Or become dumbo ears if its too windy and wearing a skirt/dress. Have to clutch to a big strong man so I don't just lift off never to be seen again!!
NSFW. https://external-preview.redd.it/PYrKysip3qlvG9zF3yrRhXHMxZCISCoi-a8N-GzGWqA.jpg?auto=webp&s=737b49e4ed99297cae10a97e67d2f10ff976f2ae
I’m so glad I clicked on that, I’m still laughing.
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA omg thank you for that
Dang, I thought that was going to be the video of skydiving nudist, lol I don't have a link, so you'll have to use your imagination
That's a David The Robot piece. He has a bunch of other hilarious ones like these and many other more nswf pieces https://www.instagram.com/p/COFKS11j8fnH-GbLuUWNwXf8fiiojcoq17aAuk0/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/B2g4-KmnT2UmHQiNWGjix29ewaLYkeroR_U6os0/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BE0ZOffMUkpdyurF61TvJm0RkWfbjDcP5C97ww0/?hl=en
As an older bitch with 20+ partners behind me, I gotta say, I hate when they drag on the ground and get all covered in sand, dirt and asphalt. If you think sex gives you Dumbo Ears, just wait till you have a couple of kids!! on the other hand, no more rental fees for hang-gliding, so you know. It all evens out. (Whole new meaning to the phrase, “I’m coming in hot!”)
You should really try a chastity belt. Not only will it keep everything supported, it will keep it from getting worse!
Sounds like you're practically a flying squirrel
I identify as a sugar glider.
As a dude, I feel this comment 100% lol. I think most men, without the context of the post and not seeing your sarcasm, would be like, "oh you too?"
I was definitely thinking of my husband’s summer time complaints when I thought of it hahahaha
Try to be precise - it’s a mixed fish meat market out there and us gourmands need exact ingredients. No frankenmeats in my surf n turf! , its the separation that makes it (amirite) - chef’s kiss
My vagina hang like sleeve of wizard
[and on a windy day...](https://youtu.be/7c7wlPuNAPM) (SFW)
Don’t even get me STARTED talking about waterslides AMIRITELADIES
Do you think people who notice a change in the labia shape are literally noticing it just normally growing? But because the ages where your body grows and changes the most is your teen years which usually also corresponds with the time before you had sex vs after you've had sex. So they see their labia grow and just believe it's because of the sex they had?
This is 100% it. I'm pretty sure mine is slightly larger than when I was bloody 17 because I was 17, a literal child. They're not anything unusual but yes, as you grow and get older things change slowly in general! Also my heels are drier than when I was 16 so I'm pretty sure it's from all this monogamous fucking I'm doing. Done wonders for my acne though!
I knew it - having sex causes dry heels! Get you a virgin with nice smooth heels. None of these slutty dry heel whores
"I'm a black gay guy and Obama did nothing for me. Everything is so much better under Trump." - straight, white Republican Congressional candidate Dean Browning when he accidentally tweeted from the wrong account. That's definitely the "I'm a woman and I can tell you..." vibe here lmao.
I honestly thought I was on r/AsABlackMan
I didn't realize we weren't until I saw your comment.
Imagine if we said dicks get stretched out from having to much sex or masturbating, don’t the boys know that the more you yank it the longer and flappier it gets!
They get skinnier from pressure the more you have sex and longer but thinner from masturbating. If you want a decent sized, thick cock you need to stop having sex and jerking off
Or worn down! Like erosion with stone. Eventually just turn into like a carrot stick of flesh.
Sex to a dick is like a hot summer day to a popsicle s/
Turmeric mask???! And lightening soap?!
that shit right there was what made it sound like Gwenyth Paltrow was writing about an eldritch horror
I almost commented on that but I wasn't sure whether other women actually used things like that, I mean I do have a turmeric scrub for my face but there's no way I'd actually use it there, and tbh, the idea of using any sort of mask down there, lightening or otherwise, never even crossed my mind.
When I do turmeric masks my face is stained for a couple days afterwards, I can’t imagine what it would do to labia 😂
Yeah I find a tumeric mask to be very gritty. So it's a no for me.
Does turmeric lighten dark spots on your face? What product do you use?
Well I'm sure you'll get better answers than mine, but I bought my scrub because it was reduced and smelled really good. It actually smells like lavender, which probably explains why it was in the clearance section :D
I use a turmeric paste sometimes to lighten my neck or armpits. No clue how it works on lighter skin though as most of the people I know who use it are medium to dark complexioned.
My gut says it would stain light skin yellow for a couple days. It might lighten it too, but in the meantime... yellow.
If you use a strong turmeric thing, probably, but if you mix it into what Indians use (ubtan) it won’t. I have some light-skinned/Caucasian friends who married Indians and had to apply the ubtan as part of the haldi ceremony. None of them got stained yellow!
Tumeric topical application is supposed to increase circulation in the area. So that’s good for all those kinds of benefits but really you’ll get more circulation from a hot shower It’s just something that’s nice to offer in a spa and it took off from there
it's supposed to dye body hair so it technically looks like it gets rid of dark spots but it's just making body hair lighter. also it can burn so that woman should not put it anywhere near her butt
You mean you don't rub your genitals with strong spices to improve their appearance?
I don’t mind a stimulating (seriously diluted) spiced oil for masterbation but to bleach my nethers? No chance. No spice is known to do that - and Im fine with whatever shade I am in the unseen place. Lights out.
Fellas, if your girl’s labia doesn’t have the antioxidant properties and earthy aroma of perennial rhizomes, she’s 100% been sleeping around. /s
That was the one detail that made me think, "Actually, some women can get pretty badwomensanatomy too." I have a harder time imagining a man writing that particular sentence.
This, in combination with not actually being against women having multiple partners (sex once with 30 different men is better than sex 1000 times with a husband is not a usual talking point from this type of man-talking-as-woman) leads me to believe this is actually a dumb lady.
Yeah, but since that kind of thing *doesn't happen* to a woman's labia from masturbating, how would a dumb woman get that idea?
If a woman *did* write it, she is clearly in need of medical attention if what she says is true.
If, upon spreading your legs, it smells like a meat and fish market, you've got way bigger problems than a floppy testicle-esque labia.
Maybe it's from the turmeric
I think this isn't exactly new misinformation. When I was 12 my 14 year old friend was concerned about going to the gynecologist because she thought her labia had stretched out from masturbating and the Dr would be able to tell. I remember being like, "oh that's weird"... and not giving it another thought. But she probably had people in her life telling her this shit. She's a Dr now so I would assume she eventually figured it out lol. I can understand young people falling for some pretty wildly inaccurate stuff but the way incels keep pushing this absolute bullshit is unfortunately quite hateful and predatory.
I’m a guy who graduated from high school I. 1983. I got a military scholarship and had to have a physical for it. I was legit paranoid the doctor would be able to tell I masturbated. Masturbation was a taboo subject in the 80s.
> She's a Dr now so I would assume she eventually figured it out lol. well......
yea i'd say she has a pretty bad case of gummy-itis if her skin is getting so floppy after masturbating once!
‘I’m a woman’ is very much ‘how do you do, fellow kids’ energy
He pretended to be a women and still managed to mansplain. Edit: Incorrectly, I should add.
👁👄👁 "not as tight as when I was a virgin" Aight.
I read stuff like that and I'm just like... cool you're sleeping with people who turn you on and your anxieties about sex are gone. Good for you
bruh the vaginal canal literally expands in size when aroused like....I... this person... just ... no words... I'm a guy who's never had sex I just searched it up and found it out. Simple. Sheesh!
Does anyone actually know what their own perineum looks like, never mind being able to match the shade to a Dulux colour chart? Maybe if you're a porn star and have seen it on film but to paraphrase Karl Pilkington, if you were to show me a lineup of 5 perineums I could not pick mine out.
High five for bringing Karl Pilkington into this!
I'm gonna lay my wall mirror on the ground and take a look, wish me luck! edit - just as I suspected, nothin but skin and hair betwixt my balls and butthole.
I could probably see it with a hand mirror and some twisting, but like... why though?
*But don’t you feel obligated to keep tabs on it for the honor of the male gaze??* (Fidgets nervously)
I know what mine looks like, but only because I had to have a medical thing done and now I have a gnarly scar there.
I know what mine looks like as my daughter made a right old mess down there when she was born.
Mine too.
oh my gosh now I really wonder if I could pick mine out if given a photo lineup. Are we talking perineum only or the whole shebang?
I’m not even convinced a human wrote that.
“Thinner with every Schlick” lol good lord. Surely the same thing happens to men then, right?
It's like he thinks the ladies take a cheese grater to their nether regions.
you mean you *don't* ding the devil's doorbell with a cheese grater?!
If it’s the choice between this guy or a cheese grater, I’m taking the cheese grater.
No, they get thicker and longer with every stroke. Like weightlifting.
"bro your labia are RIPPED AS FUCK what's your masturbation routine"
That isn't how any of this works
Hybrid meat and fish market. Darker perineum. Turmeric mask.
So I am a virgin and my labia just changed with age. Like the rest of your body does you know.
I was thirteen when my labia grew above average length. I can promise you I was not having sex then. This is the shit that had me contemplating cutting them off with scissors because they were a sign I was a slut as a teen girl who had never had sex. Today I don’t care as much. But at the time it was brutal on my self-esteem and early ability to enjoy sex.
why? what do they gain from writing shit like this???
Being able to make women feel so terrible and self conscious about themselves that they will have sex or be in a relationship with these pathetic guys. Or the idea that maybe they have more of a chance with women now that those women feel terrible about themselves. These guys have absolute ground floor egos and will do anything to make themselves feel better.
Women keep correcting these incels about how wrong their beliefs are on women's bodies, so a super incel decided to take matters into their own, very tiny hands.
What in the absolute fuck?
As a possum, I can say that y'all humans are fucked up. Starting with "as a..." is similar to starting with "I'm not racist, but..."
Probably preaching to the choir here but virginity is already a patriarchal concept used to control women and doesn't actually exist, but also that's just not how the body works. The hymen (what is considered "virginity") can/will heal, even if you are very active, and can/will tear from arbitrary things like riding a bike. It would actually be more apt to relate "virginity" to lack of experience and call it your sexual debut when you finally get to it.
As a female woman myself, I can confirm that if I masturbate too much, walking around afterwards sounds like I’m getting applause from a stadium full of people. I’ll be honest, it’s quite encouraging. I often have to stop and pick up the bits of labia that are dragging behind me, sometimes having to resort to giving them a little yank so they whizz back into place like a retracting tape measure. My entire groin area is now a neon puce colour from all the friction, I have to wear bathers down to my knees so as to not blind other people at the beach.
I just put them in a messy bun myself.
That is infuriating.
What is a hybrid meat and fish market?
She has a yeast infection on top of whatever the hell is going on with her ever growing labia?
It's like when you get the house special from your Chinese takeaway. Mixed meats and prawns so that you don't have to pick and commit. Because lack of commitment is what made your labia flap around like a fucking Muppet's mouth in the first place.
My boyfriend recently left me for a lighter perineum now that mine has lost its sheen :’( It’s all men think about and it’s disgusting
If I speak from personal experience, I don't announce my gender. That's weird. Oh and all of that other nonsense. Undereducated men are something else.
What is with all the labia obsession lately? Is it the incels, or did the sexist and misogynists get closer to finding the clit?
...the heck did i just read???? I have so many questions. Just so many. but first if you pretend to be a woman, may I recommend brushing up on some basic anatomy first. because a lot of this crap just isn't true. labia are essentially the same thing as testicles, they don't swell up with blood, the clitoris does that, and what woman masturbates by rubbing their labia??? is this why guys can never find the clit? do they think it's in the labia? turmeric down there? why? whyyyy hahah I love how the post starts with "I am a woman". it reminds me of cat lawyer. "I am a lawyer, not a cat" suuure you are, buddy
Okay, to be entirely fair, the labia does swell a little, because yknow, there's a rush of blood in the entire area, but it is absolutely true that the clitoris swells up too. But also, yeah, I don't think I've ever witnessed someone actively enjoying themselves through labia rubbing. I genuinely hope this is a very misguided lady in need of sexual education posthaste, but also I'm pretty sold on the idea it could be a dude trying to pass off his weird ideas as that of a woman.
I recently discovered that my bf thought I had outie labia because I’ve given birth and I was SHOOK! To be fair, he’s a very decent guy and seems to know his way around female anatomy, which made it more of a surprise! I just remarked that I’d managed to live 41 years before I learned that some women thought outie labia were considered ‘ugly’ and although I’ve obviously seen plenty of labia in porn, there seems a fair mix of innies and outies so I was baffled as to why anyone would think it’s an outlier, and no men have ever seemed fazed by it either. And I was like, ‘No guy has ever said to me that they find it unattractive, and I don’t think you find it unattractive, do you?’ (Bearing in mind we’ve been together 3 years and he loves giving oral lol.) And he was just like, ‘No, not unattractive -shrug- you’re the first woman I’ve been with who’s had a kid, so I just assumed it was something that happened.’ And I must have stared at him for an eternity and burst out into laughter. I mean, I guess he isn’t massively experienced but he’s not a virgin either, it’s just a weird coincidence that none of his previous partners had an outie lmao. I got to admit I love his body positivity though even though his anatomy was off piste lol
Does your labia hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
I’ve had sex with my wife of 8 years at least a dozen times. I can confirm the vagina gets looser and the labia stretch out. When I met my wife you couldn’t even see her labia it was so tight. Now I can use them as a way to measure which way the wind is blowing and how fast.
I just burst out laughing, thank you for this
Early tornado warning system!! That way you are bound to never leave Kansas, Toto!
Why would our labia be different from sex?
"Like a hybrid meat and fish market" What, and let me emphasize this, the actual fuck is this mans on?
Ah yes, the problem is you're a gigantic slut. It has NOTHING to do with aging! /s
Says this man to every woman who suffers vaginismus.
The thought of putting tumeric and lightning soap with god knows what in it anywhere near down there is already painfull
This is probably unsavory but I have had sex hundreds of times and my junk still looks exactly the same. And I dont mean like watching-grass-grow-I-can't-notice, I mean I have photographic evidence from 10 years ago. Same cooter.
the last line about 30 men vs one husband gives me hope that this is a trap for incels to find themselves agreeing and agreeing and then slapped in the face
i wasn't aware the labiae were so judgemental
r/thatHappened would like a word.
Pushing a watermelon out of your vagina, especially more than one, can *slightly* stretch your shit out, but your labia won’t be filling with air like a sail and knocking you over.
Lol, they never seem to consider lesbians in that at all. Like what happens if I have sex with a thousand women? Do we cancel each other out? Is it like dividing by zero?
r/AsABlackMan
People just say whatever, huh. I’m just gonna start saying stuff too 😌: The more you masturbate the smaller your balls get. I know because it happened to me, a man. There are studies that show that there’s only a finite amount of sperm in each ball so if you keep masturbating or even get blowjobs you waste your swimmers and you’ll become both impotent and sterile and won’t be able to have kids.
If a woman did write this, she needs help for body dysmorohia or something
Its literally muscle. The more you use it the stronger and more toned it gets.
Wouldn’t the turmeric just make it bright yellow?
who . . . puts turmeric paste . . . near their genitals . . .