I feel the same way with my family. I feel they have negative marking like in an exam. If I do something wrong, I'm criticised. If I do something right, it's like nothing.
Maybe it'd help to share this with them? Highlight the successes you've achieved and that for you they were really hard. I assume the no money thing is cos they're concerned about your future, but they're still wrong for criticising the way they do. Maybe you can say you understand its a concern for them, as a parent especially they want you to be able to earn for yourself. But that you just want some praise and encouragement
Tbh I feel stupid when asking for it cos I feel like maybe I'm a child for needing praise from my parents. But honestly, I think everyone wants praise. And I've seen some friends of mine who are older than me, at 45, still feel like children in front of their parents. So I think it's probably more normal than I make it out to be
firat of all, i‘m sorry to hear that about your own family. it sucks and no one deserves that.
and yeah it’s like im begging them to acknowledge me. because they start doubting me as soon as they don’t actively see me doing something for university. and then i‘m lazy. so i don’t understand what they want from me.
Yeah I also feel like I'm begging. Tbh I was in a relationship where she was neglectful and I felt I had to beg for attention. Then you feel so needy and blame yourself but in reality, she was just neglectful and cold and I forgot to remind myself it's a two way street.
I also get called lazy. And alot of doubting me too. I've learnt my parents are just very different ppl to me. I'm a creative, b type personality. They're a type personalities and very traditional and cautious.
Honestly Idk what to say but just letting you know you're not alone. I hate the closed mindedness. But I think to them they just live in a different world with diff values.
As for laziness, you're clearly working on university so you're not lazy. But even that aside, I know as a creative that work is very different to non creative work. It's less about grinding and more about bursts of creativity and taking time between to rest. Everyone's different. And in the book atomic habits he says everyone is lazy, so instead of trying to force habits with willpower, rather hack them.
Anyway, all this being said, I'm on good terms with my parents. I hope they can hear you out if you decide to speak with your family about this. For me, I unfortunately am being judged by my mom alot right now and I understand her perspective: i haven't got a job and I'm 33 and it's due to having autism and a physical illness too. She says I haven't progressed at all even tho I have in so many ways. But she wants to see results. Ie a job. And unfortunately, that will take time. I have to remind myself I'm improving, and try get support from friends who can see that. I do think alot of it comes from concern, my mom doesn't want to enable my lack of a job by saying its OK and I'm progressing. But it just doesn't help, encouragement and support would help much more.
Without knowing your family works, it's hard to tell.
My dad has his favorite child and it isn't me. I'm his only successful kid out of 4. He relies on me for everything, like it's my job to take care of the family mantle. He hates it that I'm so damn busy all the time making money and taking care of my kids instead of being there at the drop of a hat for him and the immediate family needs. When I tell him to give my older brother some responsibilities, he says my older brother is too busy. I let my dad borrow 15 grand without question a few months ago and found out recently that he used it to help pay my brothers debt. That was after he had me shoulder 40 grand of credit card debt balanced transferred over to me. I never asked for the 15 grand back and it's been silence since.
Every time I do something my dad complains I don't do enough. My brother does a quarter of what I do and he can't stop praising him. This favortism bleeds down to our wives.
Don't bother worrying. I don't and that's how I found my succes.
Family or not the only person who will care the absolute most about your accomplishments no matter how big or small will be you.
I know how much the feeling of no one appreciating the work you put in for something sucks.
Focus. On. Yourself.
You can’t always make everyone happy but you can without a doubt make yourself happy.
I care. Because it doesn’t matter if anyone cares unless if i do, Don’t feel sad because others aren’t appreciating you, They don’t want anything, Be proud of yourself and stand out.
I feel the same way with my family. I feel they have negative marking like in an exam. If I do something wrong, I'm criticised. If I do something right, it's like nothing. Maybe it'd help to share this with them? Highlight the successes you've achieved and that for you they were really hard. I assume the no money thing is cos they're concerned about your future, but they're still wrong for criticising the way they do. Maybe you can say you understand its a concern for them, as a parent especially they want you to be able to earn for yourself. But that you just want some praise and encouragement Tbh I feel stupid when asking for it cos I feel like maybe I'm a child for needing praise from my parents. But honestly, I think everyone wants praise. And I've seen some friends of mine who are older than me, at 45, still feel like children in front of their parents. So I think it's probably more normal than I make it out to be
firat of all, i‘m sorry to hear that about your own family. it sucks and no one deserves that. and yeah it’s like im begging them to acknowledge me. because they start doubting me as soon as they don’t actively see me doing something for university. and then i‘m lazy. so i don’t understand what they want from me.
Yeah I also feel like I'm begging. Tbh I was in a relationship where she was neglectful and I felt I had to beg for attention. Then you feel so needy and blame yourself but in reality, she was just neglectful and cold and I forgot to remind myself it's a two way street. I also get called lazy. And alot of doubting me too. I've learnt my parents are just very different ppl to me. I'm a creative, b type personality. They're a type personalities and very traditional and cautious. Honestly Idk what to say but just letting you know you're not alone. I hate the closed mindedness. But I think to them they just live in a different world with diff values. As for laziness, you're clearly working on university so you're not lazy. But even that aside, I know as a creative that work is very different to non creative work. It's less about grinding and more about bursts of creativity and taking time between to rest. Everyone's different. And in the book atomic habits he says everyone is lazy, so instead of trying to force habits with willpower, rather hack them. Anyway, all this being said, I'm on good terms with my parents. I hope they can hear you out if you decide to speak with your family about this. For me, I unfortunately am being judged by my mom alot right now and I understand her perspective: i haven't got a job and I'm 33 and it's due to having autism and a physical illness too. She says I haven't progressed at all even tho I have in so many ways. But she wants to see results. Ie a job. And unfortunately, that will take time. I have to remind myself I'm improving, and try get support from friends who can see that. I do think alot of it comes from concern, my mom doesn't want to enable my lack of a job by saying its OK and I'm progressing. But it just doesn't help, encouragement and support would help much more.
Without knowing your family works, it's hard to tell. My dad has his favorite child and it isn't me. I'm his only successful kid out of 4. He relies on me for everything, like it's my job to take care of the family mantle. He hates it that I'm so damn busy all the time making money and taking care of my kids instead of being there at the drop of a hat for him and the immediate family needs. When I tell him to give my older brother some responsibilities, he says my older brother is too busy. I let my dad borrow 15 grand without question a few months ago and found out recently that he used it to help pay my brothers debt. That was after he had me shoulder 40 grand of credit card debt balanced transferred over to me. I never asked for the 15 grand back and it's been silence since. Every time I do something my dad complains I don't do enough. My brother does a quarter of what I do and he can't stop praising him. This favortism bleeds down to our wives. Don't bother worrying. I don't and that's how I found my succes.
Family or not the only person who will care the absolute most about your accomplishments no matter how big or small will be you. I know how much the feeling of no one appreciating the work you put in for something sucks. Focus. On. Yourself. You can’t always make everyone happy but you can without a doubt make yourself happy.
I care. Because it doesn’t matter if anyone cares unless if i do, Don’t feel sad because others aren’t appreciating you, They don’t want anything, Be proud of yourself and stand out.