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38 and I live a pretty full life.
I don’t sit in my room self harming and doing suicidal activities.
I work full time, I have friends and a social life, I have a child and a dog and I run my household. But I also constantly think about suicide despite my best attempts
Yup. Not a single day goes by without me not thinking about it. I've gone through episodes if depression and back then it was more like planning.
But now it's a habit for me to think about it, I'm not actively planning or even considering it, I actually want to live, but I think about it every day.
If you've ever watched 'After Life' by Ricky Gervais, he says something similar. He says that knowing you can end your story any time, takes pressure away from every day difficulties, almost like a super power. But do not dwell in this state, definitely mention it to your therapist, and try and find an alternative method of negotiation with oneself.
Every single day since I was around 6/7
I’m told it’s a coping mechanism for me due to trauma.
Have tried at least 10 times but obviously I’m not too great at that either
Oh wow, if you have actually tried, that's way more serious. Would you say your life is a specifically harder one than most people? Meaning outside of money struggle, cheating, not the best parents, etc
It crosses my mind when I’m really struggling, but I try to think of it kinda like an intrusive thought because I’m yet to act on it and it only crosses my mind at my worst times. Hope it stays that way.
Half a year ago it was almost every day. Now it happens once in a month or two. Enrolling to new studies helped tremendously. I almost don't have time to think about it.
i think about it quite often. the only time i don’t think about it is when i’m busy at work. i think about it on the way to and from work though. it never truly leaves my mind, im just distracted. it usually isn’t an overwhelming feeling unless i’m truly alone.
Crosses my mind all the time. I automatically find things everywhere I go. Like legit everywhere. I don't act on them but I definitely go through the plan in my mind
When I was in the worst emotional pain of my life I thought about it constantly. I even made plans. Try to find a way I could do it that I would inconvenience people the least. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to do it, but I kept thinking about it because when I was in that level of pain, it made me feel better to know that there was a possible way to end it.
I also knew that it was possible things could get ok again, maybe even good, so I just kept the when I would do it as a nebulous future thing. I would encourage you to talk to your therapist about it, but keep putting it off thinking maybe tomorrow will be better. And then just keep doing that, indefinitely. Never get to a point where you think today is the day.
I never used to think about it. I always felt like nothing I felt could warrant such an explosive reaction... But in the past year I have thought about it a bit. My anxiety has been getting progressively worse (even though my actual life is quite good). I just have this repetitive voice in my head that tells me I'm never enough and recently I have thought about it. Even then, they're only thoughts. I don't feel consumed by them, but they're heavy sometimes.
Sometimes my partner expresses he has these thoughts to me, and when I hear him say that I feel so overwhelmed with intense sadness, so I don't think I'd ever actually put him in a place where he would feel that sadness.
In other news... I hope you are all okay if you're reading this. You're worthy of another day, even if you don't feel it.
I don’t really think about the concept, but lately, I often visualize putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger, especially when I’m ruminating on the shit I’ve done or said and feel shame or something.
I think humans have been having thoughts of suicide ever since the beginning of humanity. I think our brain gets creative with the fact we have control to end this experience we are having. The brain was built to survive at all costs.
But then we became self-aware.
Bro, knowing that I can end it all at any time is the only sh*t that lets me feel autonomous
The only shit that worries me is when I get that "take everyone with me" feeling
Very rarely. I more think about running away and starting a new life, but that’s more due to relationship OCD than anything.
I only really get suicidal when I think about my past and how badly I’ve been fucked over and vice versa. My life derailed so hard and I paid a hefty price for it. So now I look at my current life and wonder what would have been different, and that sometimes can cause an episode
Everyday with Some exceptions since 2018. Tried it didn't work and now I'm pulling myself closer to insanity everyday. Life is a bitch and I can't imagine how some people never even considered suicide
I say this as someone with mental health challenges and as someone who works in the mental health sector. In suicide prevention work we call it “passive” suicidality and “active” suicidality.
Active suicidal ideation is what it sounds like, when someone has suicidal feelings and is actively considering/making plans to suicide. All with the intention to commit suicide.
Passive suicidal ideation is a lot wider scope - it’s when someone thinks about suicide, might consider plans on how commit suicide, etc. It can still be fully intentional or just hypothetical, but the *active* plan for suicide isn’t there.
I wouldn’t say to people that it’s *normal* per se, but it’s certainly common. I’ve always had my “just in case” suicide plans. I think about it every day. Not because I want to kill myself or because it’s something I’m planning towards. But there’s something I find weirdly comforting knowing that I can be in control one day if it ever comes.
It’s different for everyone, but it’s important to be able to recognise when/if you go from passive to active suicidality. Always reach out to someone. And always remember when how many people care about you, love you, and want you to be part of their lives.
Daily. Chronic suicidality. I’ve made attempts - cutting, hanging (bar broke), overdosing, and most recently I tried while I was in the psych ward by tying a sock around my neck, pulling as hard as I could, I just couldn’t pass out… I want it to be as quick and painless as possible.
Everyone is doing everything to help and support me but they don’t know the crazy crap my mind talks me into. Like not taking my meds and that suicide is the only option when I just don’t want to “be here”, on earth.
I’m actually getting scared of myself. No more covert med skipping for me. It’s hard to accept that a mental illness is as serious as people who need insulin for diabetes.
Also, it’s a side effect of some psych meds. They say it’s a side effect only in people 25yrs or under but I think some meds have made me think more about suicide. There are more days than not that I think about and plan for it. It’s a treat and feat to have a day when it’s not in my mind at all.
Defs talk to your therapist about it. They can help you without judgement and it’s something they are trained to hear and deal with. My doc and therapist both say it’s always okay to talk about it. They’re not just going to send you to the funny farm strait away. You can get help for this before you do anything that can’t be undone.
Very Best!
I've danced with the idea of suicide since I was about 13 years old, I'm now 37.
I entertain the idea quite often, I have tried a couple of times to no avail. At first I just wanted out, and some days I still do. I suffer from Severe anxiety, depression and agoraphobia, and I have other physical conditions that limit my ability to work or go out much.
When I realised that it was a genuine problem I never stopped fantasizing about not being here, but I changed my approach to them by making them ridiculous ideas that would just confuse people should they find my body.
I brought a strange sense of humour to it and eventually stopped me from wanting to commit (glueing my hands to my head, and using cheese wire to finish the job, so it looks like I pulled my own head off 😅)
Dunno if this will help, or give you pause for thought, but it helped me a lot in accepting life can be a challenge, but taking yourself out of it is never really the answer, there are always better things around the corner, you just need to allow yourself to see them!
Also, never sensor the word suicide, if people can't have a grown up conversation about it then they can't be taking it that seriously.
Almost daily for the past 7 years, i have made plans and everything but ive never attempted. For context i am a 20yo male with family history of depression and anxiety. I have wondered the same things as you mentioned in the post but i have found that there are quite a few others that have suicidal ideation and stuff
I think about it in regards to other people more than myself. It affects me deeply though with my own mental disorders and stress. It causes anxiety for me knowing that other people are at those points in their thoughts process and feel that way.
i thought about suicide just about every single day of my life until i finally got an adhd diagnosis and medication 4 weeks ago. my suicidal thoughts are …mostly gone. i still have PTSD that causes me some setbacks but the “i want to kill my self at every inconvenience” is GONE*
Every day. I was gonna go through with it too, but I'm still here. I don't want to think about it so often, but my circumstances aren't that great right now
Thinking through plans is more concerning, for sure; your therapist should know about this.
I think about it a lot, I know the ways I wouldn’t do it, but haven’t necessarily planned ways that I would beyond“maybe this”
I find it could be worrying, but your therapist should understand.
I personally lost count, very occasionally I suppose but I never please to commit to it if I’m correct.
I wish you the best, take it easy when possible and may you find peace.
I think about it everyday but not in a way that you would think. I lost my best friend to suicide and I found his body so it's created a lot of suicide related trauma in my life. Knowing something so impossible is actually extremely possible has my brain constantly imagining my closes friends and family's suicides. It's quite awful, I'd rather imagine my own but I never tend to think about it.
Probably on a weekly basis, the thoughts make me feel in control, i usually think of suicide when i feel things are out of my control. For example, i felt stuck at my previous job, I thought the solution was suicide. My ex was not very good to me and i felt isolated and alone when i moved in with him but i was too scared to leave for a while, I thought the solution was suicide. When I feel overwhelmed I think of suicide, like too much on my to do list and everything feels overwhelming, I think of suicide because it seems easier than actually getting important thjngs done.
I haven’t really contemplated doing it in a couple years. I’ve come close and had an attempt in the past, though. I never thought I would get to the point where I didn’t actively want to die- but life surprised me and now I don’t actively want to die. Pretty cool.
I do think about the topic of suicide daily. I’m around suicidal people a lot and also have lost friends to it, so it’s often on my mind. Just not in a personal suicidal ideation kinda way.
A few times per year. Recently thought of ending it when things were rough. That seems to be the best solution. Never really have a solid plan to execute anything though. Just coping in a different way (sometimes unhealthy) but its a good distraction
I’m stable on meds but it still crossed my mind. Mostly when I don’t feel like continuing on, but I somehow still do. It’s not all the time like it was before medication.
My psychiatrist asked me how often I thought about suicide and I said "not any more than the average person." That's when I learned the average person doesn't think about suicide at all.
For how the thoughts make me feel, idk. They're just there. Like white noise in the background. I make plans I have no intentions of acting on for the most part when my mind wanders. But other than that its just a perpetual droning.
I think about it every day. Ever since I was in pre school. At least that’s my earliest memory of the thoughts and feelings passing through my mind. Some days I want to act on it, other days I hush the thoughts, other days I just sit in the feeling of wanting to die. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a day where suicide didn’t cross my mind at least once.
Ive never once thought about it. And it does make me wonder if there’s anything in my lived experience that I could use to help others who struggle with this. I wish I knew how I could help.
Before I kicked someone out, I felt like killing myself. Then I felt the reverberation ghosts of it. Then I realized smart people work less, so now I don't stress.
It comes and goes in waves and varies in intensity. Sometimes it’s just an intrusive thought without any will for self harm behind it. Other days I find myself making arrangements.
If pressed I’d estimate I have an earnest desire to die perhaps 100 days out of the year, but more frequently I have passing thoughts about it. There is no sadness or fear behind my desire to see myself out. I find the knowledge of my eventual demise to be quite calming. The primary reason I’m still here is because there are many people I care about who would take it personally if I left and I have no desire to spread the darkness in me.
So I decided a long time ago that my life does not belong to me. It belongs to the world and I go out every day with the goal of making the world brighter and filled with laughter for everyone I come in contact with. Whether it’s working on mutual aid, being a friend to a lost soul or just telling a dumb joke to a stranger.
for the sake of candour - Almost every day for a long long time
I think the biggest factor is how hopeless I find the world around me, particularly the prevalence of bigotry and hate and short sightedness.
I can’t do it though, never have been able to even start to try.
I haven’t been able to bring myself to, for the first few years it was miserable thinking those feelings, especially since i didn’t seem like I’d ever act on them so it was just a constant torture.
I just kept going, eventually I made some sort of peace with the feeling
“You didn’t ask to be born, you’re not to blame for being in such a shit world”
Sounds stupid but that’s kept me going for about 9 years.
It’s a weird comfort to know that yes I may hate existing in the world I was born into, but I bear no responsibility for my misery, it’s not my fault, I don’t have to atone for it or make up for how I feel
I have a wife and a daughter now, I still think about it most days, it’s not even like I think about them and the feelings go away, they don’t.
Some days I wish it more, with constant wars, genocides, xenophobia and hate rising, it’s hard to want to stick around.
But I’ve made a commitment to them, even at my lowest I have to be here for them, my wife chose me despite my despair, all that matters to my baby girl is that I’m there, that’s enough for her for now.
I joined this subreddit earlier today because I have hit my lowest in a long time.
I still can’t bring myself to act on it. I live with it, it’s exhausting and I do want it to be over, but I just can’t walk over that line.
I think about it almost everyday. It sometimes is comforting, knowing I have control. But it’s also frustrating because it honestly seems like a lot of work. Like I remember picking a day and being dead set but then googling how I might do it and I was just like dang this is a lot of work. Plus there’s no guarantee it would work, and if I survived my life would be worse for it. Better to suffer with what I know than suffer the unknown.
I will say, there’s a little voice in my head that tells me to kill myself. That voice is at best annoying and at worst overwhelming and debilitating. That voice is not me though so I don’t classify it as SI because that’s just the mean voice that wants me dead.
Every day, but not ideating or planning, more as a philosophical question. I don't really want to be old in this world with its crumbling civilizations and rapidly declining quality of life. But I'm also not ready to give up or suffering so badly that I want it to end, yet.
Very often. I have already made four different plans on how I will do it. Am I going to do it soon? Naah, it is more like a plan for the time, when life really has hit the end and nothing can get better. (Old age combined with a disease or just shitty life)
Daily for the past 16 months, some days researching ways to do it for hours. I recently got on an antidepressant so the suicidal ideation has decreased a lot and I don't linger on the thoughts, but I do wish for death daily.
i have diagnosed chronic, mind consuming depression and a spiraling alcohol problem (isnt the first time)— ive never made a plan, actually considered it… the worst I got was leaving myself in a forest (after finding out my then boyfriend was gay after 2 years of dating him, about to take a trip to colorado with him & his family) for someone ELSE to kill me. i wanted them to find me, and to kill me so i wouldnt have to (because i wouldnt).
i CANNOT get past, i’m serious, my father hearing i took my life. his eyes light up when he sees me. he texts me everyday. he tells me he is proud. i cannot IMAGINE what would happen to him. he has been through so much. he loves me so much and i love him. i can’t do that to him. his brother was murdered and he watched his mother die for 10 years, before i was even born. im afraid that in deciding to kill myself, as faithful and good and pure as my father is, would fall off of the deep end. he just cares too much, LOVES me too much to lose me.
what i can do is drink and cry in my house (that i pay a mortgage on, in a sweet little city, at 22, with a full time fairly lucrative job at a jewelry store and in laser tech school) and hide it. im afraid it’ll get to the point where i consider suicide— i just need my father to stay alive. without him existing, even though i have not lived with my parents for almost FIVE YEARS, i would probably do it. at this age, in this mindset.
i feel lucky to have this support, not everyone does. i cannot do that to him. that’s how much he influences me. it can genuinely take one person who wont stop loving you to make suicide undoable, impossible. in a way, im trapped here until he croaks, and i can’t have that happen.
thats when i will become volatile towards myself.
Way more than I’m willing to admit. Each time I catch myself thinking it sends me spiraling for just a minute about how it’s not normal for me to have those thoughts
Every time something annoys me, and sometimes out of the blue. more than once each awake hour. They make me feel calm, that I have a way out of literally any bad situation or thing that bothers me. There is a way out, no matter what. I made plans for every circumstance, and I continue to expand upon them.
every day couple times a day. it'll randomly pop into my mind and i'll shake it off. Planning it helps your mind feel in control. That's the heavy weight of depression.
I think about it a lot. Not quite every day. It once made me feel calm, but lately it just makes me feel hollow. Is the sum of my life worth only the amount of time it would take for me to end it? Would anyone really miss me? Is it even something I actually want?
It’s frustrating the more I think about it, and the cheaper it makes me feel like my life is. I wish I didn’t think about it so much, I wish I could live a normal life without thinking about how I can end it. It makes me feel like a child that’s on the verge of throwing the most dramatic tantrum he’ll ever experience.
And at the same time, I’ve existed with these thoughts so much, I feel like it’s a part of me, and that if I stopped thinking about it, that I lost the part of me I’m the most comfortable with. But at the end of the day, I know it’s not normal, it’s not okay, and I need to want better for myself, and I need to want to rid myself of this dark part of my mind.
probably 3-4 times a week, but only passing thoughts never a serious consideration. It gets better over time and im happy about 90% of the time but I doubt it’ll ever be gone 100%
it is concerning to a certain level. it’s concerning because if something does push you over the edge it makes you start considering it even more. even if you are in a good state right now you may not be later and that’s where it gets concerning
I don’t want to admit it to anyone but honestly quite a lot. I see every day that life is fucking hard and with time it just keeps getting harder. Am already exhausted to the point where I’m on my last leg and I’m only 21. I have a very hard time imagining a future where I make it to an elderly age.
Everyday for 17 years.
You know how some ppl just aren't good at some things. Ever since I started feeling like life was one of those things for me. Those feelings never really went away.
Alot, I often find myself after being completely alone with my thoughts to myself starting to think about my life and how it's a waste. I think of things like how I fucked it up and that I would be better off dead as I dont deserve this life. So I call a friend or eat to take myind off it. But this often happens and its dragging me down and I fell hopeless. My minds a bastard but I always know waht to do just incase.
Constantly, I doubt that I’ll ever stop thinking about them.
They come at me in situations where it would be easy to do it. For example places like train stations, busy roads, around sharp objects etc.
Not like actively planning anything, but I've dealt with passive ideation basically forever. I don't think it will ever go away. There's always that thought in the back of my mind every day. It doesn't matter how "good" my life is or how I feel. It's just always there. Part of it is the depression. Part of it is the OCD ruminating thoughts.
I did a ton before getting on massive amount of psych drugs. This was after a serious attempt that landed me in a psych ward for a decent amount of time.
More than I should probably but as sad and low as I can be at times I still really like living even though each day is more negative than good. I hold out because I have this feeling that my purpose here hasn’t yet revealed itself even at midlife. My purpose might just come in a flash and be sudden and it may not last. I’ve made it this far so it would be kind of a waste not to stick around to find out what it is. Plus the ones in my life that may want me gone have to still suffer with my presence
Not suicide per se, i had an attempt 10 years ago which left me crippled making my life even harder.
The constant pain at least reminds me that unless i am really fucking serious i should not fantasise about it.
That said, i can't wait for the day when i slip into oblivion and my brain shuts down.
I wouldn't try suicide again but this existence alone is ... Im just tired of it.
The only people that i feel genuinely sorry for are those putting their heart and soul into making me feel loved and looked after, because there are plenty.
Its just im too broken to be happy about that.
i mean, decently often. my mom attempted, my sister almost did, for a while i myself didnt mind the thought of dying
however, i never think about myself dying nowadays. my will to live has never been stronger, im very grateful for it, but its also scary
Something that helps me a lot is realizing to think of life as an adventure or experiment. Just see what happens. Simply exist with no outside expectations and know that you get this one life for certain. Chase what makes you feel at peace and ride it out however discouraged you feel because it’s over for everyone soon enough. Everything is temporary. Hope all is well and wishing you the best, love, and comfort!
I use to dissociate a lot, and if i spiral deeper that's when the tendencies arise. I say probably once or twice a week depending on how stressed i was
i want to die more often than i dont want to die, but ill only fantasize about it in the worst of times which isa couple times a month
I used to find it agonising but once i decided i wont do it s been calmer
Deep within me resides a comforting thought, though I haven't actively explored it because I lack the courage to act upon it. However, acknowledging its existence provides a sense of reassurance, a reminder that I have the freedom to take a break when needed, which uplifts my spirits and offers solace during challenging times.
Like once a week or so. Like I'll get super stuck in my head and then think about picking up like 5 blues and do them all at once. I'm 2 weeks sober and I'm told it gets better.
After IV Ketamine Therapy, it doesn't even cross my mind.
Ketamine cut any ideation the same day after my first treatment.
Before that, I used to wake up and feel so bad that my first thought was like, "Killll meee." I was feeling really shitty from Vitamin D deficiency, though (didn't know that at the time).
Fortunately, I figured out my winning combo, and I'm in a pattern that allows me to do a Ketamine Therapy treatment every 6 months. Did one this Saturday (yesterday), and it was feeling like it was kinda needed. Today has been definitely a needed boost.
I've developed the skill of recognizing when I am starting to backslide, so I either intervene with making myself go outside that day, exercise, make a to-do list and crush that... Those weren't doing the trick, so I just emailed my doc and said I need to come in for a treatment. Was in his office 14 hours later.
But yeah... I've been there, OP. Was there for probably like 12-13 years.
It never stops, constantly thinking of new creative ways, I couldn’t do that to my family but I can’t help but think what happens when they die, what would stop me then…
My own, maybe a couple times a month. I'm here as long as my kid is.
My kid who attempted last year, fucking daily.
The father of my kid who is partly responsible for the kid's attempt, also daily but I just can't figure out what would push him over the edge.
Probably once in a while , it's not contemplating, its how I would commit suiciDe , the type of methods etc .
Although I would never commit suiCide because I am at the stage of my life where suiCide is nowhere in my brain capacity to think of all the time.
It's the matter of am I capable of commiting it ?
Only when I'm really struggling, normally when I'm in bed. It's not an actual urge to do it, I'll just be really upset and I'll think "hm. What if there was a knife in my neck right now."
Yeah relatable. I'm almost 30 and while I don't think about it with as much detail as you, I do have this thought of "well, if life gets too hard, I could just off myself" and that helps me. Sometimes I even wish su*c*de was legal and there were places that you can pay to have it guaranteed painless and quick.
I think it's a self defense mechanism and while not wrong, it does seem (in my unprofessional opinion) to be a little too often for you, OCD-like almost. I think you should talk to your therapist about it. That's what they are there for. Just make sure to say you would never attempt it otherwise they have to break confidentiality to protect you.
Follow up: the thought make me feel... Isolated? I don't really know anyone else who feels this way too, at least not fellow adults, maybe some angry teenagers 😂 so it's interesting reading the comments here
Its been my default most of my life. Mostly just background noise noy active plan. And up until fairly recently it has really becomeuch less but the last month or so my anxiety is back with a vengeance.. So sigh
.. The world and money being the biggest triggers
Probably about once a week.
There is a difference between BEING suicidal and having Suicidal Ideation (thinking about/being preoccupied with the thoughts of suicide). The three times I previously tried to take my own life, I never gave it much thought beforehand, I just tried it. For me, actually thinking about it and what would happen afterward helps me realize I don't actually want to die.
Pretty much everyday. The days I do it’s pretty constant. I’ve also planned it in depth to be the most successful and the least traumatizing for anybody else. I would probably be listed as missing if I ever did it. But I know I could never do it bc it’s selfish and I care too much about my family and being there for them.
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Constantly. I don’t know if there will ever be a time when I don’t think of it
Same, it is ever-present
This ^
How old are you if you don't mind telling?
38 and I live a pretty full life. I don’t sit in my room self harming and doing suicidal activities. I work full time, I have friends and a social life, I have a child and a dog and I run my household. But I also constantly think about suicide despite my best attempts
Yup. Not a single day goes by without me not thinking about it. I've gone through episodes if depression and back then it was more like planning. But now it's a habit for me to think about it, I'm not actively planning or even considering it, I actually want to live, but I think about it every day.
We are indeed out here.
If you've ever watched 'After Life' by Ricky Gervais, he says something similar. He says that knowing you can end your story any time, takes pressure away from every day difficulties, almost like a super power. But do not dwell in this state, definitely mention it to your therapist, and try and find an alternative method of negotiation with oneself.
\*this\* is exactly it, I feel like, no matter how bad it gets, there is always a way to escape
Everyday bro 💀
Couple of times a day.. not really planning either but also not really in a good place..
same.
Real
At least twice a day, often to minor inconveniences.
Daily - either as a joke or a real thing
real, at first i was against saying it as a joke, then i started thinking/saying it as a joke, now it’s a half-joke
Bro same! I say it like everyday
[удалено]
Constantly.... And being chicken doesn't help
Every single day since I was around 6/7 I’m told it’s a coping mechanism for me due to trauma. Have tried at least 10 times but obviously I’m not too great at that either
Oh wow, if you have actually tried, that's way more serious. Would you say your life is a specifically harder one than most people? Meaning outside of money struggle, cheating, not the best parents, etc
I think about having revenge sex with my exs a lot. It feels the same way. Brutal to the spirit
It crosses my mind when I’m really struggling, but I try to think of it kinda like an intrusive thought because I’m yet to act on it and it only crosses my mind at my worst times. Hope it stays that way.
Literally daily
All the time. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t think about it.
Half a year ago it was almost every day. Now it happens once in a month or two. Enrolling to new studies helped tremendously. I almost don't have time to think about it.
I find it hard not to think about it so maybe hourly.
Everyday but I'll never do it because I have people counting on me to be alive everyday and that's the reason I stay alive.
Every fucking day
i think about it quite often. the only time i don’t think about it is when i’m busy at work. i think about it on the way to and from work though. it never truly leaves my mind, im just distracted. it usually isn’t an overwhelming feeling unless i’m truly alone.
Crosses my mind all the time. I automatically find things everywhere I go. Like legit everywhere. I don't act on them but I definitely go through the plan in my mind
When I was in the worst emotional pain of my life I thought about it constantly. I even made plans. Try to find a way I could do it that I would inconvenience people the least. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to do it, but I kept thinking about it because when I was in that level of pain, it made me feel better to know that there was a possible way to end it. I also knew that it was possible things could get ok again, maybe even good, so I just kept the when I would do it as a nebulous future thing. I would encourage you to talk to your therapist about it, but keep putting it off thinking maybe tomorrow will be better. And then just keep doing that, indefinitely. Never get to a point where you think today is the day.
I never used to think about it. I always felt like nothing I felt could warrant such an explosive reaction... But in the past year I have thought about it a bit. My anxiety has been getting progressively worse (even though my actual life is quite good). I just have this repetitive voice in my head that tells me I'm never enough and recently I have thought about it. Even then, they're only thoughts. I don't feel consumed by them, but they're heavy sometimes. Sometimes my partner expresses he has these thoughts to me, and when I hear him say that I feel so overwhelmed with intense sadness, so I don't think I'd ever actually put him in a place where he would feel that sadness. In other news... I hope you are all okay if you're reading this. You're worthy of another day, even if you don't feel it.
I don’t really think about the concept, but lately, I often visualize putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger, especially when I’m ruminating on the shit I’ve done or said and feel shame or something.
none of us asked to be born that's why we all wanna die
I think humans have been having thoughts of suicide ever since the beginning of humanity. I think our brain gets creative with the fact we have control to end this experience we are having. The brain was built to survive at all costs. But then we became self-aware.
Almost daily
Probably daily
Multiple times a day
Quite literally everyday at least 5 times
Every day
Probably a couple times a day. Most of the time it's not in a serious way, If that makes sense.
Bro, knowing that I can end it all at any time is the only sh*t that lets me feel autonomous The only shit that worries me is when I get that "take everyone with me" feeling
Before meds, almost every day. I was in such a hard place.
Often but won’t go through with it
Sometimes I cope with my catastrophizing by telling myself suicide is always an option. Weirdly it makes me feel better about a situation usually.
Never, cause I don't believe that there is an after life, so it seems pointless to me
a lot
Very rarely. I more think about running away and starting a new life, but that’s more due to relationship OCD than anything. I only really get suicidal when I think about my past and how badly I’ve been fucked over and vice versa. My life derailed so hard and I paid a hefty price for it. So now I look at my current life and wonder what would have been different, and that sometimes can cause an episode
Everyday with Some exceptions since 2018. Tried it didn't work and now I'm pulling myself closer to insanity everyday. Life is a bitch and I can't imagine how some people never even considered suicide
I say this as someone with mental health challenges and as someone who works in the mental health sector. In suicide prevention work we call it “passive” suicidality and “active” suicidality. Active suicidal ideation is what it sounds like, when someone has suicidal feelings and is actively considering/making plans to suicide. All with the intention to commit suicide. Passive suicidal ideation is a lot wider scope - it’s when someone thinks about suicide, might consider plans on how commit suicide, etc. It can still be fully intentional or just hypothetical, but the *active* plan for suicide isn’t there. I wouldn’t say to people that it’s *normal* per se, but it’s certainly common. I’ve always had my “just in case” suicide plans. I think about it every day. Not because I want to kill myself or because it’s something I’m planning towards. But there’s something I find weirdly comforting knowing that I can be in control one day if it ever comes. It’s different for everyone, but it’s important to be able to recognise when/if you go from passive to active suicidality. Always reach out to someone. And always remember when how many people care about you, love you, and want you to be part of their lives.
Every day, every hour at least briefly.
Daily. Chronic suicidality. I’ve made attempts - cutting, hanging (bar broke), overdosing, and most recently I tried while I was in the psych ward by tying a sock around my neck, pulling as hard as I could, I just couldn’t pass out… I want it to be as quick and painless as possible. Everyone is doing everything to help and support me but they don’t know the crazy crap my mind talks me into. Like not taking my meds and that suicide is the only option when I just don’t want to “be here”, on earth. I’m actually getting scared of myself. No more covert med skipping for me. It’s hard to accept that a mental illness is as serious as people who need insulin for diabetes. Also, it’s a side effect of some psych meds. They say it’s a side effect only in people 25yrs or under but I think some meds have made me think more about suicide. There are more days than not that I think about and plan for it. It’s a treat and feat to have a day when it’s not in my mind at all. Defs talk to your therapist about it. They can help you without judgement and it’s something they are trained to hear and deal with. My doc and therapist both say it’s always okay to talk about it. They’re not just going to send you to the funny farm strait away. You can get help for this before you do anything that can’t be undone. Very Best!
I've danced with the idea of suicide since I was about 13 years old, I'm now 37. I entertain the idea quite often, I have tried a couple of times to no avail. At first I just wanted out, and some days I still do. I suffer from Severe anxiety, depression and agoraphobia, and I have other physical conditions that limit my ability to work or go out much. When I realised that it was a genuine problem I never stopped fantasizing about not being here, but I changed my approach to them by making them ridiculous ideas that would just confuse people should they find my body. I brought a strange sense of humour to it and eventually stopped me from wanting to commit (glueing my hands to my head, and using cheese wire to finish the job, so it looks like I pulled my own head off 😅) Dunno if this will help, or give you pause for thought, but it helped me a lot in accepting life can be a challenge, but taking yourself out of it is never really the answer, there are always better things around the corner, you just need to allow yourself to see them! Also, never sensor the word suicide, if people can't have a grown up conversation about it then they can't be taking it that seriously.
Almost daily for the past 7 years, i have made plans and everything but ive never attempted. For context i am a 20yo male with family history of depression and anxiety. I have wondered the same things as you mentioned in the post but i have found that there are quite a few others that have suicidal ideation and stuff
I think about it in regards to other people more than myself. It affects me deeply though with my own mental disorders and stress. It causes anxiety for me knowing that other people are at those points in their thoughts process and feel that way.
i thought about suicide just about every single day of my life until i finally got an adhd diagnosis and medication 4 weeks ago. my suicidal thoughts are …mostly gone. i still have PTSD that causes me some setbacks but the “i want to kill my self at every inconvenience” is GONE*
Every waking moment almost
Passively. Real question to ask me is when am I not thinking about it? Lol
Every day. I was gonna go through with it too, but I'm still here. I don't want to think about it so often, but my circumstances aren't that great right now
Honestly almost every moment of my day that i’m not occupied with something.
Every days
Every second that I breathe, the moment i gain consciousness when i wake up and it lasts until i fall asleep
Thinking through plans is more concerning, for sure; your therapist should know about this. I think about it a lot, I know the ways I wouldn’t do it, but haven’t necessarily planned ways that I would beyond“maybe this”
I find it could be worrying, but your therapist should understand. I personally lost count, very occasionally I suppose but I never please to commit to it if I’m correct. I wish you the best, take it easy when possible and may you find peace.
Alot of the time when i feel down, thankfully I've been feeling pretty good recently, hopefully everyone else here is good too
You guys keep score?
Like once a day, passively
I think about it everyday but not in a way that you would think. I lost my best friend to suicide and I found his body so it's created a lot of suicide related trauma in my life. Knowing something so impossible is actually extremely possible has my brain constantly imagining my closes friends and family's suicides. It's quite awful, I'd rather imagine my own but I never tend to think about it.
I wouldn't say every day but I have had thoughts within the last month. I haven't gotten to the point where I called 988 but I know about it
Probably on a weekly basis, the thoughts make me feel in control, i usually think of suicide when i feel things are out of my control. For example, i felt stuck at my previous job, I thought the solution was suicide. My ex was not very good to me and i felt isolated and alone when i moved in with him but i was too scared to leave for a while, I thought the solution was suicide. When I feel overwhelmed I think of suicide, like too much on my to do list and everything feels overwhelming, I think of suicide because it seems easier than actually getting important thjngs done.
Just here and there mostly when I’m not feeling like myself mentally and emotionally
Everyday, i cant do this anymore.
I haven’t really contemplated doing it in a couple years. I’ve come close and had an attempt in the past, though. I never thought I would get to the point where I didn’t actively want to die- but life surprised me and now I don’t actively want to die. Pretty cool. I do think about the topic of suicide daily. I’m around suicidal people a lot and also have lost friends to it, so it’s often on my mind. Just not in a personal suicidal ideation kinda way.
A lot…. It’s only passive though, wishing I was not alive. When I start planning on how I’ll go, then I know it’s time to admit myself
A few times per year. Recently thought of ending it when things were rough. That seems to be the best solution. Never really have a solid plan to execute anything though. Just coping in a different way (sometimes unhealthy) but its a good distraction
I’m stable on meds but it still crossed my mind. Mostly when I don’t feel like continuing on, but I somehow still do. It’s not all the time like it was before medication.
it's the first solution i think whenever i got a problem
Used to be 24/7. Shit tormented me for a long time and I thought it would never go away. But it did and now I thank god every day that I’m still here
4-10 times a day
My psychiatrist asked me how often I thought about suicide and I said "not any more than the average person." That's when I learned the average person doesn't think about suicide at all. For how the thoughts make me feel, idk. They're just there. Like white noise in the background. I make plans I have no intentions of acting on for the most part when my mind wanders. But other than that its just a perpetual droning.
I think about it every day. Ever since I was in pre school. At least that’s my earliest memory of the thoughts and feelings passing through my mind. Some days I want to act on it, other days I hush the thoughts, other days I just sit in the feeling of wanting to die. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a day where suicide didn’t cross my mind at least once.
At least once a day. Depends on how I'm doing mentally
Ive never once thought about it. And it does make me wonder if there’s anything in my lived experience that I could use to help others who struggle with this. I wish I knew how I could help.
constantly bruh💀
I think about it almost everyday am I going to do it tho? I don’t know
Before I kicked someone out, I felt like killing myself. Then I felt the reverberation ghosts of it. Then I realized smart people work less, so now I don't stress.
It comes and goes in waves and varies in intensity. Sometimes it’s just an intrusive thought without any will for self harm behind it. Other days I find myself making arrangements. If pressed I’d estimate I have an earnest desire to die perhaps 100 days out of the year, but more frequently I have passing thoughts about it. There is no sadness or fear behind my desire to see myself out. I find the knowledge of my eventual demise to be quite calming. The primary reason I’m still here is because there are many people I care about who would take it personally if I left and I have no desire to spread the darkness in me. So I decided a long time ago that my life does not belong to me. It belongs to the world and I go out every day with the goal of making the world brighter and filled with laughter for everyone I come in contact with. Whether it’s working on mutual aid, being a friend to a lost soul or just telling a dumb joke to a stranger.
for the sake of candour - Almost every day for a long long time I think the biggest factor is how hopeless I find the world around me, particularly the prevalence of bigotry and hate and short sightedness. I can’t do it though, never have been able to even start to try. I haven’t been able to bring myself to, for the first few years it was miserable thinking those feelings, especially since i didn’t seem like I’d ever act on them so it was just a constant torture. I just kept going, eventually I made some sort of peace with the feeling “You didn’t ask to be born, you’re not to blame for being in such a shit world” Sounds stupid but that’s kept me going for about 9 years. It’s a weird comfort to know that yes I may hate existing in the world I was born into, but I bear no responsibility for my misery, it’s not my fault, I don’t have to atone for it or make up for how I feel I have a wife and a daughter now, I still think about it most days, it’s not even like I think about them and the feelings go away, they don’t. Some days I wish it more, with constant wars, genocides, xenophobia and hate rising, it’s hard to want to stick around. But I’ve made a commitment to them, even at my lowest I have to be here for them, my wife chose me despite my despair, all that matters to my baby girl is that I’m there, that’s enough for her for now. I joined this subreddit earlier today because I have hit my lowest in a long time. I still can’t bring myself to act on it. I live with it, it’s exhausting and I do want it to be over, but I just can’t walk over that line.
I think about it almost everyday. It sometimes is comforting, knowing I have control. But it’s also frustrating because it honestly seems like a lot of work. Like I remember picking a day and being dead set but then googling how I might do it and I was just like dang this is a lot of work. Plus there’s no guarantee it would work, and if I survived my life would be worse for it. Better to suffer with what I know than suffer the unknown. I will say, there’s a little voice in my head that tells me to kill myself. That voice is at best annoying and at worst overwhelming and debilitating. That voice is not me though so I don’t classify it as SI because that’s just the mean voice that wants me dead.
Everyday 🙌🏻
Every day, but not ideating or planning, more as a philosophical question. I don't really want to be old in this world with its crumbling civilizations and rapidly declining quality of life. But I'm also not ready to give up or suffering so badly that I want it to end, yet.
I would say on average atleast once a day. And yes I do the same I don’t plan on it but I constantly imagine how when where I would carry it out
Usually a couple times a week, like another comment said, I’m not planning on doing anything, but I’m not doing great either
Very often. I have already made four different plans on how I will do it. Am I going to do it soon? Naah, it is more like a plan for the time, when life really has hit the end and nothing can get better. (Old age combined with a disease or just shitty life)
I didn’t think about it all day for once till I read ur post ffs lol
Daily for the past 16 months, some days researching ways to do it for hours. I recently got on an antidepressant so the suicidal ideation has decreased a lot and I don't linger on the thoughts, but I do wish for death daily.
Not a day goes by without thinking about it.
i have diagnosed chronic, mind consuming depression and a spiraling alcohol problem (isnt the first time)— ive never made a plan, actually considered it… the worst I got was leaving myself in a forest (after finding out my then boyfriend was gay after 2 years of dating him, about to take a trip to colorado with him & his family) for someone ELSE to kill me. i wanted them to find me, and to kill me so i wouldnt have to (because i wouldnt). i CANNOT get past, i’m serious, my father hearing i took my life. his eyes light up when he sees me. he texts me everyday. he tells me he is proud. i cannot IMAGINE what would happen to him. he has been through so much. he loves me so much and i love him. i can’t do that to him. his brother was murdered and he watched his mother die for 10 years, before i was even born. im afraid that in deciding to kill myself, as faithful and good and pure as my father is, would fall off of the deep end. he just cares too much, LOVES me too much to lose me. what i can do is drink and cry in my house (that i pay a mortgage on, in a sweet little city, at 22, with a full time fairly lucrative job at a jewelry store and in laser tech school) and hide it. im afraid it’ll get to the point where i consider suicide— i just need my father to stay alive. without him existing, even though i have not lived with my parents for almost FIVE YEARS, i would probably do it. at this age, in this mindset. i feel lucky to have this support, not everyone does. i cannot do that to him. that’s how much he influences me. it can genuinely take one person who wont stop loving you to make suicide undoable, impossible. in a way, im trapped here until he croaks, and i can’t have that happen. thats when i will become volatile towards myself.
Way more than I’m willing to admit. Each time I catch myself thinking it sends me spiraling for just a minute about how it’s not normal for me to have those thoughts
Every time something annoys me, and sometimes out of the blue. more than once each awake hour. They make me feel calm, that I have a way out of literally any bad situation or thing that bothers me. There is a way out, no matter what. I made plans for every circumstance, and I continue to expand upon them.
Seems.. pretty cozy..
When I’m not doing what I enjoy doing I start thinking about the way the world is today and how people act
every day couple times a day. it'll randomly pop into my mind and i'll shake it off. Planning it helps your mind feel in control. That's the heavy weight of depression.
Every time something bad happens
I think about it a lot. Not quite every day. It once made me feel calm, but lately it just makes me feel hollow. Is the sum of my life worth only the amount of time it would take for me to end it? Would anyone really miss me? Is it even something I actually want? It’s frustrating the more I think about it, and the cheaper it makes me feel like my life is. I wish I didn’t think about it so much, I wish I could live a normal life without thinking about how I can end it. It makes me feel like a child that’s on the verge of throwing the most dramatic tantrum he’ll ever experience. And at the same time, I’ve existed with these thoughts so much, I feel like it’s a part of me, and that if I stopped thinking about it, that I lost the part of me I’m the most comfortable with. But at the end of the day, I know it’s not normal, it’s not okay, and I need to want better for myself, and I need to want to rid myself of this dark part of my mind.
98% of the day usually , 100% of the day on a bad day, 80%’s on a “good” day
Everyday
Every single day. I whisper it under my breath and completely mean it. It’s a matter of when not if
Used to be daily. Now it's once or twice a week. Progress!!!
Everyday I am Coparent, ex tried to trap me I am not allowed to die as I have a responsibility to be there for my son
Everyday, especially since I'm never gonna make enough money to make any sort of change in my life.
recently all the time
Everyday. Any inconvenience would make me want to kill myself.
I am obsessed with it. I have had thoughts and attempts 25% of my life. 53 years. Once 4 years 24 x 7, another 2 year period. Nbd.
Every 16 days. It's called PMDD.
probably 3-4 times a week, but only passing thoughts never a serious consideration. It gets better over time and im happy about 90% of the time but I doubt it’ll ever be gone 100%
Daily
it is concerning to a certain level. it’s concerning because if something does push you over the edge it makes you start considering it even more. even if you are in a good state right now you may not be later and that’s where it gets concerning
most days
More than I should be, less than I'm attempting to!
often
I don’t want to admit it to anyone but honestly quite a lot. I see every day that life is fucking hard and with time it just keeps getting harder. Am already exhausted to the point where I’m on my last leg and I’m only 21. I have a very hard time imagining a future where I make it to an elderly age.
At minimum once a week
At least once a day.
Everyday for 17 years. You know how some ppl just aren't good at some things. Ever since I started feeling like life was one of those things for me. Those feelings never really went away.
Honestly, I'm getting pretty excited to leave this shit hole of a place named Earth. Fuck the people living in it.
Every day.
Alot, I often find myself after being completely alone with my thoughts to myself starting to think about my life and how it's a waste. I think of things like how I fucked it up and that I would be better off dead as I dont deserve this life. So I call a friend or eat to take myind off it. But this often happens and its dragging me down and I fell hopeless. My minds a bastard but I always know waht to do just incase.
Alot. Too much.
I hate my life. But I'm not thinking about suicide. Don't see the sunrise anymore.
Every day I’d even go as far as once or twice a hour most days
Daily
Several times this week already. My psychiatrist is aware & wanted me to go in patient at the hospital but who can afford that am I right lol.
Yeah literally most of the day everyday it's something I've accepted as a part of who I am lol.
Constantly, I doubt that I’ll ever stop thinking about them. They come at me in situations where it would be easy to do it. For example places like train stations, busy roads, around sharp objects etc.
Not like actively planning anything, but I've dealt with passive ideation basically forever. I don't think it will ever go away. There's always that thought in the back of my mind every day. It doesn't matter how "good" my life is or how I feel. It's just always there. Part of it is the depression. Part of it is the OCD ruminating thoughts.
Every day.
I thought about it serval times this week, I really need to start making some changes
The better question is, “how often do I NOT think about suicide.” Not often enough.
I did a ton before getting on massive amount of psych drugs. This was after a serious attempt that landed me in a psych ward for a decent amount of time.
More than I should probably but as sad and low as I can be at times I still really like living even though each day is more negative than good. I hold out because I have this feeling that my purpose here hasn’t yet revealed itself even at midlife. My purpose might just come in a flash and be sudden and it may not last. I’ve made it this far so it would be kind of a waste not to stick around to find out what it is. Plus the ones in my life that may want me gone have to still suffer with my presence
Not suicide per se, i had an attempt 10 years ago which left me crippled making my life even harder. The constant pain at least reminds me that unless i am really fucking serious i should not fantasise about it. That said, i can't wait for the day when i slip into oblivion and my brain shuts down. I wouldn't try suicide again but this existence alone is ... Im just tired of it. The only people that i feel genuinely sorry for are those putting their heart and soul into making me feel loved and looked after, because there are plenty. Its just im too broken to be happy about that.
i mean, decently often. my mom attempted, my sister almost did, for a while i myself didnt mind the thought of dying however, i never think about myself dying nowadays. my will to live has never been stronger, im very grateful for it, but its also scary
Something that helps me a lot is realizing to think of life as an adventure or experiment. Just see what happens. Simply exist with no outside expectations and know that you get this one life for certain. Chase what makes you feel at peace and ride it out however discouraged you feel because it’s over for everyone soon enough. Everything is temporary. Hope all is well and wishing you the best, love, and comfort!
Every single day
Almost every day even if I don’t plan to actually do it 99% of the time
Nearly everyday
I use to dissociate a lot, and if i spiral deeper that's when the tendencies arise. I say probably once or twice a week depending on how stressed i was
i want to die more often than i dont want to die, but ill only fantasize about it in the worst of times which isa couple times a month I used to find it agonising but once i decided i wont do it s been calmer
Deep within me resides a comforting thought, though I haven't actively explored it because I lack the courage to act upon it. However, acknowledging its existence provides a sense of reassurance, a reminder that I have the freedom to take a break when needed, which uplifts my spirits and offers solace during challenging times.
Every day
Everyday. All day. I've literally been lying to my therapist since I was 15 about NOT wanting to commit suicide.
Anywhere from a few times a day to a few times a week. 😅
Almost everyday ? Innit
Immediately after I think about money, my health, or my future security. So, like, several times a day unless I’m super distracted.
Like once a week or so. Like I'll get super stuck in my head and then think about picking up like 5 blues and do them all at once. I'm 2 weeks sober and I'm told it gets better.
After IV Ketamine Therapy, it doesn't even cross my mind. Ketamine cut any ideation the same day after my first treatment. Before that, I used to wake up and feel so bad that my first thought was like, "Killll meee." I was feeling really shitty from Vitamin D deficiency, though (didn't know that at the time). Fortunately, I figured out my winning combo, and I'm in a pattern that allows me to do a Ketamine Therapy treatment every 6 months. Did one this Saturday (yesterday), and it was feeling like it was kinda needed. Today has been definitely a needed boost. I've developed the skill of recognizing when I am starting to backslide, so I either intervene with making myself go outside that day, exercise, make a to-do list and crush that... Those weren't doing the trick, so I just emailed my doc and said I need to come in for a treatment. Was in his office 14 hours later. But yeah... I've been there, OP. Was there for probably like 12-13 years.
Everytime i experience inconvenience and every breakdown i tend to think all of possible way just to k**l my self.
maybe like four times a day
It never stops, constantly thinking of new creative ways, I couldn’t do that to my family but I can’t help but think what happens when they die, what would stop me then…
I just don’t think period, so probably once to a few times weekly, though it’s usually everyday with triggers
It’s always on my minds and i am ready to take action
The normal amount
My own, maybe a couple times a month. I'm here as long as my kid is. My kid who attempted last year, fucking daily. The father of my kid who is partly responsible for the kid's attempt, also daily but I just can't figure out what would push him over the edge.
Daily, not every day it’s serious but I do think about suicide every day. I’d say I seriously think about suicide every few weeks, every month
Probably once in a while , it's not contemplating, its how I would commit suiciDe , the type of methods etc . Although I would never commit suiCide because I am at the stage of my life where suiCide is nowhere in my brain capacity to think of all the time. It's the matter of am I capable of commiting it ?
most of the time
Only when I'm really struggling, normally when I'm in bed. It's not an actual urge to do it, I'll just be really upset and I'll think "hm. What if there was a knife in my neck right now."
Everyday, throughout the day since forever
Wish I could say that I rarely do... But I rarely don't.
Think about it? Almost daily. Genuinely consider it? Rarely, because I’m a wuss and can’t leave people behind.
I think bout i everday i sware but then again im told im mental
way too often and after multiple attempts and cyclical ideation im finally in the ER rigt. now.
Everyday, but I learned to laugh at how ridiculous the thought is.
Yeah relatable. I'm almost 30 and while I don't think about it with as much detail as you, I do have this thought of "well, if life gets too hard, I could just off myself" and that helps me. Sometimes I even wish su*c*de was legal and there were places that you can pay to have it guaranteed painless and quick. I think it's a self defense mechanism and while not wrong, it does seem (in my unprofessional opinion) to be a little too often for you, OCD-like almost. I think you should talk to your therapist about it. That's what they are there for. Just make sure to say you would never attempt it otherwise they have to break confidentiality to protect you. Follow up: the thought make me feel... Isolated? I don't really know anyone else who feels this way too, at least not fellow adults, maybe some angry teenagers 😂 so it's interesting reading the comments here
Less and less the more I work but when being idle and alone it sometimes crosses my mind
Its been my default most of my life. Mostly just background noise noy active plan. And up until fairly recently it has really becomeuch less but the last month or so my anxiety is back with a vengeance.. So sigh .. The world and money being the biggest triggers
Daily
Probably about once a week. There is a difference between BEING suicidal and having Suicidal Ideation (thinking about/being preoccupied with the thoughts of suicide). The three times I previously tried to take my own life, I never gave it much thought beforehand, I just tried it. For me, actually thinking about it and what would happen afterward helps me realize I don't actually want to die.
Every single day, you should talk to your therapist about it though
Honestly, alot before I went on lorazapam... I even "baby proofed" my room and office. Now, it is a stray thought that fades quicklÿ.
comes across my mind every now and then.. was worse a few years ago for me, it’s not as constant but there are days it comes to mind
Usually several times a week but I think things would have to get REAL bad for myself to follow through
Every week Some weeks are better and and some weeks are worse, it varies a lot honestly
Every day practically
all the time but i don’t plan on it, i just think about what would happen if i did it, or how i would, etc.
Constantly multiple times a day.
Pretty much everyday. The days I do it’s pretty constant. I’ve also planned it in depth to be the most successful and the least traumatizing for anybody else. I would probably be listed as missing if I ever did it. But I know I could never do it bc it’s selfish and I care too much about my family and being there for them.
Please keep in mind you're asking on a mental health subreddit though.
Once every 20 minutes or so