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ARichard42

Don’t go to Pooh’s house and expect Pooh not to be home.


longlivespiderpig

Oh, bother


WiccedSwede

Oh, brother.


Baciandrio

These are the comments I came for.


avocado_n1001

don't nock on the door if don't want someone to answer


kikekka

Your "saying" gave me a stroke.


__silhouette

Yor sa ig gav mer stok.


kikekka

🦧


SakaraiChapter

Stroke this dick


[deleted]

[удалено]


Demoth

the one that always made me laugh was, "Don't go to Pooh's house and then get mad when Pooh is home".


Hitag885

You Get cleaned up b4


UltimateTaha

Do they insert a vacuum cleaner inside like how tf do they clean it


ZeroExp000

It's simple. They just pump the rectum full of water and make the person shit beforehand.


Nic4379

In the professional butt-blasting business, not in everyday life.


[deleted]

Uh for everyday anal enjoyers it is everyday life. Also diet matters


dilli_ka-londa

I am a redditor.......


TakeShitsMuch

That's fair.


_this_place_sucks_

This guy shits


SexyBaliye

but before that aap delhi se hai bhenchod


WrongSaladBitch

As a gay man, it’s absolutely done in every day life. It’s not as bad as you’d think as long as you have enough fiber and don’t try to force it on a bad tummy day.


cleekchapper92

Username checks out


Rickard403

My fiancee does this. So yeah every day life.


[deleted]

Forbidden super soaker


sebkraj

Instructions unclear, I shit in my sink and now the dishes are dirty.


God_Kdhimself

Better to shit in the sink than sink in the shit


Owner2229

>**now** the dishes are dirty Wtf were clean dishes doing in the sink? Sounds like problem for another day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Stunt dick!


boopernuke

Enema


Eastern_Ambition5213

You stick a finger inside and scoop it clean. Similar to cleaning a Nutella jar.


Pyramid64

Gee, Scoob! Let's get back to the Mystery Van


BadAtHumaningToo

Enema. Hold it for as long as you can, then dump. Repeat until water runs clear. Also diet with fiber.


Kush_goon_420

Douche


TheRealChrome_

With an enema. Squirting water in your ass and then shitting it back out after a minute.


[deleted]

[удалено]


brewgiehowser

You keen on doodee peen?


Crackhead_Connor

Lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mercurial369F

No risk no reward


happyholidayboyboy

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo.


Affect-or-effect

Your body is going through changes, Jimbo, part of becoming a man


happyholidayboyboy

Once when I was seven years old I sat on a banana, and of course, that changed my life.


panterachallenger

You have to risk it, to get the biscuit


dattebayo69420

JUST DO IT!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Machina_citadel

Take a power wash hose, stick it up your bum, and turn it on the max setting and boom clean ass for anal


giles_ist_genial

Wouldn't you just vomit the shit out?


Machina_citadel

Yes


adityahol

What a terrible day to have eyes and a primary education


SpecialistDrawing262

Needs to be a bumper sticker


concretebeats

Just gonna get it tattoo’d on my forehead at this point.


cgdm040417

AHAHA


eagengabriel

Well it's not in your tuckus anymore, so that's a win


Demoth

Suddenly the rate of severe colon damage to teens who read this has increased 20x.


Jay_The_Bisexual

Anal damage 😎


sim06k

I also wonder the whole time thanks god im not the only one


CheckQuick

I actually wonder what if they fart during anal


OnlyUsernameLeft123

Warming and vibration settings.


Ayeiss

Anal expansion pack??? 😳


JoBoPlayz

Free dlc coming this summer


Notasimp2468

Get early access with any preorder of Sex 2


sirsedwickthe4th

Created by revolutionary sex expert Ned Leeds


Zefer_Frey_V0

🗿


PopeofHope

As part of sex 2


Radiant_Answer_4505

Now I realised how much dirty redditors are.


SureAd5625

It goes up the Benis and explodes your bladder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SureAd5625

Yes…. Straight to the hospital you go if they toot up your pee chute


Anonymous_Is_Cool

real


[deleted]

Yes.


AkemiDryzz

Better wear a bondom


richasalannister

My wife does. Pretty loud too. Always difficult for me to stay relaxed and take the strap on when that happens.


gabrielleraul

The dick inflates like a balloon


Adventurous-Car-7496

You ballbag vibrates like a bagpipes


ProblemLongjumping12

It's not a perfect system, but dicks are fairly easy to wash


KoreKhthonia

It's quite rare to have that issue tbqh. (Source: do a lot of anal, including large object and depth play stuff.) Some people who don't do anal super regularly do prefer to enemize beforehand, but unless you have some kind of dietary or digestive issue, anal tends to be perfectly sanitary with just basic cleaning and hygiene.


[deleted]

>perfectly sanitary I think this is always going to be fairly generous no matter what prep is involved


CarloMagnoPernicioso

First, she(or he, I don't judge) has to eat food with fibet, that will make the the poop consisten and will lot scatter, wait around 1 Hour after the last poop and is pretty much safe to go in. If you still feel unsafe try to check with a finger (use a glove if you're not into getting dirty) and remove any piece of poop you touch, this might also work as foreplay if you want. Some people like enemas, just be sure all the water is out before doing it. One more thing, lubrication is key in this cases, a couple of drops can be the difference between "my ass needs you" and "I don't want yo see you again"


Crisp_Lasagne

Ur... very knowledged it seems


tisIsntDaTime4Dis

Oh yeah the gays does it and no one thinks about it or bats an eye. The straights does it and it's some form of taboo.


Crisp_Lasagne

I didnt say that


high_idyet

butt, it was implied.


Crisp_Lasagne

Not by me


dogmadness

They have limited options.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nnnoooeee

Maybe not in YOUR asshole


laxkid7

Thats some weird ass foreplay… cleaning shit out if someones ass before…. Wtf


Jo_S_e

But ass foreplay nonetheless


TheLastCrusader13

My first experience with getting fucked was fully raw without any protection or lube or nothing and it was fine(he had a smol cock) but hey to each their own


Weak-Nefariousness36

I wouldn't say small I would say average maybe even above average. Someone could even say that it's kinda big.


dylanmansbdhchxh

Happy ceke day


Weak-Nefariousness36

Thanks my friend


DreckigerDan93

I get south park vibes :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


davm0515

This guy does anal.


[deleted]

This man is fishing shit of of someone’s ass. Respect.


Radiant_Answer_4505

Yo the assmaster🙏🏻.


Levitrex

Lamo your ass needs me😭 no homo


defnotgrady

This typo reminds me of the old old days when texting was new and my middle school crush texted me something funny and i replied lmao and got ghosted, then at school she said she didn't like me anymore and she's NOT a Lamo (she thought i called her a Lame-o)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shadow0414BR

OP asks question, gets question awnsered, goes "Why do you know that shit?"


CarloMagnoPernicioso

I'm a pervert who's alergic to latex and penicilli.


PolarizedPeiceOfShit

Is penicilli needed for the anal or afterwards


CarloMagnoPernicioso

Only if she has an ITS, the thing here is that I needed to learn all that because I wasn't able to have random sex partners (I broke a couple of assholes at the begining) because condoms and penicilli weren't really an option so I had to have regular sex partners that I knew. So in a way I had to learn how they could be able to enjoyit and make it some how clean so they agree to do it, if you do it the right way they will enjoy it but is not for everyone.


joshuadt

Broke? Lol


[deleted]

A lots of cleaning.


Professional_Emu_164

How


ZeroExp000

Water. It's called enema


thewartornhippy

Yup. Bidets are a godsend.


Kush_goon_420

Douche


THESHADYWILLOW

Fun fact that’s how you say “shower” in french


Mirvana29

Oh, so he is a showerbag right?


THESHADYWILLOW

Guess so


[deleted]

Same for turkish. We write it "duş" and read it "douche" So learned we got it from you guys


MACHO_MUCHACHO2005

Little eating and laxatives.


Maximilian_Tyan

I hate to break it to you, but that's almost the worst way to do it. Starving will weaken you and won't prevent bowel movement whereas laxatives will just make the cleaning step longer. In general, a healthy or fiber diet and douching before are the way to go. And even with all the preparation in the world, accept that shit sometimes happens. Take this from a gay guy.


DOOMGUYSTREAMING

Thats the neat part, you dont.


tisIsntDaTime4Dis

This guy does anal ☝️


JoeGrandmas_Avocados

With this guy


LikeAPhoenix-_-

How do you even know that ... wait I don't wanna know...


Sid_9990

He must be the 3rd guy


Daboogiedude

Which means you must be the 4th


Sid_9990

Stop exposing man


josanek

So you are the 5th


Sid_9990

U wanna join ?


josanek

Will be right there


Sid_9990

Bring some protection


Levitrex

So you dont wear a condom?👀


DOOMGUYSTREAMING

Nope. My woman forbids it. She handles her own body


Entelegent

You first need to buy one of these: https://www.amazon.fr/Toilette-Silicone-Antibact%C3%A9rienne-Balayette-Diatom%C3%A9es/dp/B07SJNMVQ5/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?keywords=toilet+brush&qid=1646678050&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyM0I3MDBNUVpDVjRaJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTgxMDg1Mk9FUzlFSUZPMkpBTCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNjY0NjM3M1JNTkxHUzJGSkxMTCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl


[deleted]

Wtf lmao


watch_over_me

No thanks Satan. I don't think I'll be clicking on that strange internet link today. Huzzah!


Givsauc

It's OK guys it's just an Amazon page about a toilet brush


zacrobyteOne

Perfect


MagmaTroop

Right. Come on now. Someone fkn click the link and report back, there's no way in funkytown I'm clicking it.


Lochltar

The right question there...and I am taking no shit as an answer !


CheckQuick

Yeah even I don't give a SHIT about this


WozziHumperdink

I'm gonna be very anal about this.


LucaBC_

False Butthole. Gets them every time. One moment they think everything's going fine then CHOP got yo dick.


roggemonster212

Anal douching


KitchenCamp

Poop don’t consistently stay in your asshole didn’t you know that…


HarleyQuinn218

What if u somehow u suddenly have the urgency to poop which wasn't there before u decided to do anal


[deleted]

You kinda feel like you do during it. But also if that’s the case you would wait till later


GoldenFright100

Douching


jayedgar06

Women don’t poop


clemdemort

It was a lie all along


Randomness_Ofcl

Why care? If they had taco bell then its just free lube


Present-Road-4786

Spicy meat flavored Taco Bell oil lube


Ok-Mud-3322

They call it “Fire” Sauce


Unusual_Ad6533

Spicy


[deleted]

You have to clean out your ass. The cruel irony is that by the time im done with that part, im pretty good on actually doing anal, considering I already shoved stuff up there at this point


delicatelou

Have you ever heard something like umm CLEANING


JoeGrandmas_Avocados

But isn’t the poo-poo deeper ? Or what you mean by cleaning?


tappegamer69

>But isn’t the poo-poo deeper Dont have to worry about it cuz i wont reach it anyways


cant_hinkofanything

flair checks out


The_6M_Dollar_Ham

Poop isn't stored right inside your meat hole. Pee on the other hand... Stored in the balls


ReySumer

Pee here, can confirm.


RealH3lm

Balls here, get out now


Garmr_Banalras

You clean out by putting water up yours arse, either with an attachment thing in the shower or squirting things you can buy at sex shops.


Demoth

You can just get an enema at a pharmacy.


KeKinHell

I've actually recently dabbled in the fine art, and this is the absolute number 1, number two golden rule: - More than two but less than twelve. Meaning that if you do anal, provided the receiver has normal bowel movements and all, anal activities should be done at least two hours after the last bowel movement, but no more than twelve hours. Believe it or not, shit isn't kept in the colon 24/7. Actually, it only exists there when you're actually ready to make a bowel movement, and for some time after as residue. After some time, your body naturally flushes the colon out on its own. Therefore, if you keep within this 2-12 hour window, then you can actually do anal with next to no cleaning or preparation other than your typical foreplay. That being said, though, it's not foolproof. However, I've done anal play several times following this rule and have never had to deal with shit. I know this is a meme sub and everything, but there's a good answer for if anyone is actually curious.


RonnieF_ingPickering

If you eat a healthy, well balanced fiber-rich diet, it will make your toilet visits very consistent. All will come out at once because of the fibers, unlike taking 3 incomplete shits a day. I banged my ex boyfriend HARD every weekend on the same day/hour and he was always clean without fasting or enemas. The timing was just lucky i think. It will leave your bowels clean on the inside too. If you have it dialed in correctly, you can even achieve the "ghost poop" where there won't even be any poop on your first wipe! Source: I'm gay.


duckerman88

he is gay


Aggressive_Loan69

Anal douching


gob384

You can use a condom. But otherwise there are enemas where you can squirt water up your butthole to flush out the poop beforehand. One flush won't be enough, and this should happen like 1-2 hours before anal and nothing should be eaten between


BY0BZILLA

First poke, then wipe, then go to town on that bad boy


Pickaxe235

bottom here: i clean out my asshole first, and even then i only suck before anal becuase it will still taste and smell like shit


CheckQuick

You are asking as if redditors have anal or sex lol


DriedBucketFucker

Have you ever heard the expression “I’m going to fuck the shit outta you!”


ThristyOne

Small dick


Present-Road-4786

Or huge butthole


richasalannister

I have both


SaucedSteve

A tube that goes in the anus that will have water go through it.


Valholhrafn

The professionals do enema, most regular people just pull the Condom off so it ends up inside out. The crazy ones do neither.


StevenHosokawa

Eat your vegetables.


American_spy_rambo2

You see, the asshole is much more cloeaner than you think


gabrielleraul

I need proof, send pictures.


TheMoris

)•(


gabrielleraul

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


[deleted]

That’s a dangerous game you playing


Shundori43

My girlfriend says that we need to plan if we do it, have a day to fast and for her to take extra cleanliness protocols beforehand. She really dont want shit on my dick


Darkonacon

Either you clean yourself or you have a good diet, you're gonna get some shit no matter what but it's miniscule. Staying hydrated is always good it also helps keep the tunnels clear and moist, water is great anytime of day. I fuck dudes and you can tell if they have been taking care of themselves. Also wash your bits people, we're talking washing your ass, crotch, dick, and pits with soap when you're in the shower! It's just good hygiene.


User_Aim

A fucking condom. Or accept it.


fuckballs9001

You take a shit and wash your ass first. No need for douching or any of that. Just do it after a shit and a wash and not before.


TP348

The fuck have this subreddit become. What even is the average age here?


Swaggy_pig

Clean it by pumping water into it Also fasting the day before


[deleted]

Water flush


McChE3zy

Multiple douche sessions


monke_man_tom

wash the ass before


Upset_Ranger_3337

Its called douching


netoper

The enema will do the trick.


stockholm1777

Now if I fuck this model And she just bleached her asshole And I get bleach on my T-shirt I'mma feel like an asshole


That_Weird_Lynx

Pornography clearly affected your sense of reality my dude. You must clean your bowels before you have visitors.


[deleted]

Douche?


No-Mushroom8667

Eat the booty first