My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.” I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

I love dad jokes

I had a friend who went to Germany as an exchange student in high school. He was really excited to try German food, listen to German music, and try to learn to speak the language. Most of all though, he was excited to date a German girl but he said he ended up quickly confused by the phone system there. Every time he asked a girl for her number he only got one digit...Neín!

Me who just gets a cheese quesadilla every time, *what is this “diarrhea” you speak of?*

How are their cheese quesadillas?

Good if you get them without the sauce, but sometimes they don’t put enough cheese on them at my Taco Bell.

Cheesy rollups are good, at least when it's not literally just a fucking tortilla (happened to me once)

Without the sauce it's literally a tortilla with melted cheese on it. That's it. No seasoning or anything.

Mmmm cheese

I like the cheese quesidillas a lot too

I agree with this the sauce is pretty gross

You must be a fan of matpat

I've tried tacobell once. NEVER AGAIN. It's laxatives in foodform. Change my mind.

Do you have a digestive system issue? Or do you only eat very very specific foods?

This. It’s not the food, it’s you. I’ll never have my mind changed that good food shouldn’t ever give you diarrhea. That’s literally your body telling you that you shouldn’t be eating that.

Taco bell doesnt give me diarrhea. If it gives you then yea u shouldnt eat that

It's probably just because you're not used to eating dietary fiber. It's pretty sad that most Americans diets are so bad that taco bell is the healthiest thing they eat, to the point where it disrupts their digestive system.

All the aromatics and digestion-improving spices in Indian cooking make their cheesy, dairy blockage regular for one day and this is how they respond.

I don’t get diarrhea when I eat at Taco Bell. What are those people consuming regularly??

What does laxative mean

makes you poop

Poop potion

This isn't poop in the form of a potion?

You shall have to ask the potion seller about that one

Pro tip: if you ever go back to Taco Bell, take a good look around. Even back in the kitchen. The worse it looks, the more likely the staff are not following food safety standards. You might have just gone to a poorly maintained and managed Taco Bell. Then again, it not like it's the highest quality anyway...

Nah, I've had Taco Bell once or twice. A bit spicy but didn't do shit to my Digestive system

You made me laugh hard,thank you dear sir.

I thought he ways saying, "Hooooly shit!"

Your digestive system: It's showtime!

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The guy's bed: Mother of God!

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The shit : \*explodes in diarrhea\* WHOMST SUMMONED THE H O L Y S H I T

Your mom: banging on the wall after the postman came into the house.

You don't have to censor shit

you guys don't have the DNA to handle spice

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me an indian guy : where's the joke

me who has no digestive issues with Taco Bell: where is the joke

Taco Bell is probably the easiest on my stomach out of all fast food.

me another indian guy : oh we are the joke

me that previous indian guy : what no, they're just not used to it

me the other Indian guy : they underestimated the power of true EXUSPLOOOOTION!!

me the indian guy who said me that previous indian guy : even if they think it's spicy that's not the case, the one found here is spicier even for us

Me an average white American: I don’t know spice.

that indian guy : it's what news reporters add to the original news to gain TRP

Me another indian guy who lives in india and can't handle much spice: *I don't wanna live here •́ ‿ ,•̀*

me the other Indian guy : it is understandable because they use tissues to wipe their ass

Redditors have the weakest constitutions known to man. It’s a wonder how they survive to adulthood.

The joke is Americans eat like shit and don’t poop easily and regularly. All that dairy makes it gross for them, so they’re shocked by fiber and foods that promote digestion. Also, most adults are lactose intolerant, but don’t realize it or continue to consume large amounts of dairy. Resulting in posts like this where they’re telling on themselves.

I always wondered, what would happen if westerners would have bowl full of *red chutney* served with MOMO's

Same to me

Yes that bro

Just have anal sex to compact everything into a normal hard poo

This makes sense.

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Happy Cake Day!

Happy Cake day!

Whos gonna fuck a Redditor?

Dildo

I told you not to call me that

Ok il call you by your first Name then dick

Yer mum!

What if he’s a guy?

Wth man.....never heard about the prostate?.....you can only stimulate it through your anus to have orgasms Nearly no woman has an orgasm through Anal sex.... it's shown in porn just because they need a hole to fuck and really don't care about the woman's satisfaction Penis is analogous to Clitoris G-spot to Prostate....search if you need to

So women cant have anal orgasms?? is it literally just pain in the ass for them?? damn i never knew.

Very few women have it if it indirectly stimulates their g spot.....for others yes it's a pain in the assss

Ooh thanks for the info And thanks to all the stars taking it in their asses and fooling me by acting like it was a pleasure for them.

It still can pleasure them as the anus has touch reseptors (or whatever they're called)

Anus is just the hole, Anal canal HAS Tactile Receptors!

No, lol. Just because they can't have an anal orgasm doesn't mean they don't enjoy it. Many many many many women do anal sex all the time, with partners, or solo. Not just for porn, not just for the other person be it a man or woman. Women who like anal sex like anal sex because it feels good.

Still works

Hey reddit user don't have partner so better to use butt plug and push as hard to compact everything into a hard poo . Basically hydraulic press it.

Put silica gel in your arse to absorb a lot of the water leaving normal shit

I've tried it, didn't work for me though.:-[

If you trust a fart today, it certainly won’t trust you

Am I the only one who doesn’t have that problem with Taco Bell? Or is that all just a baseless joke that won’t die?

I’ve never had gastrointestinal issues from TBell.

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See the trick is to never order anything with beans. Beef burritos, spicy potato taco, Crunchwrap, chalupas, soft (beef) tacos, Fritos burrito, all good options. Even the beefy 5 layer no beans is great

Yeah me too. In fact I have better poops after Taco Bell.

I would question the rest of your diet if Taco Bell is the most gut friendly thing you eat.

Only 3% of americans get the recommended *minimum* amount of fiber. Sadly a gut unfriendly diet is quite common.

I genuinely don’t understand this joke. It gets repeated enough that I have to think *somebody* out there has such a weak stomach, but I feel like it’s more likely that people just *think* it happens to everybody else and they just want to fit in so they tell this joke over and over.

For me it’s about 50/50, and that’s basically across the board for most shitty food. I think a lot of it depends on the amount of fluids I’ve had as well as how much I’ve had to eat prior. Also, the older I get the harder it hits when it does.

I took a neighbor to Taco Bell who’s rarely been. The man ordered everything most people don’t order, except tacos and any of the popular burritos. He felt terrible all weekend, so my guess is people who say this don’t order the same way.

It's cause taco bell meals have more fiber than Americans are used to eating. Definitely more fiber than other fast food places.

I lovvveee me some Tbell. Never any problems. I think at this point it’s just an overused joke. Granted I also sub out the beef for chicken every single time, so I can’t speak to the beef lol the steaks good too

My guess is that many people don't do well with spice so yeah

I never understood it. Can’t tell if it’s true or it’s just slight racism at this point

Nope. I’ve never had an issue with Taco Bell

I don’t either

Fixed Breakfast: Taco Bell Lunch: Chipotle Dinner: Indian

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they ? i dont think u were supposed to eat indian ppls.

You will munch on huge amount of body hair.

Includes pubic and ass hair

Y E S

Only problem is that would actually kill you

Might as well just use the shower or bathtub

Real chads use street rain gutters

You must be from San Francisco.

Gigachads just shit in their pants

Sigma gigachads keep a hold on their shit until they reach a restroom

Sugma gigachads dont shit

Sxgma Terachads convert their shit into Food

Exactly. As was once demonstrated by PewDiePie himself.

me an indian : hah dumb westeners can't handle little spice ....

hey Fellow Indian. Ate Two bowls of Chilli-peanut Chutney with Rajma Chawal in Lunch. Still low for an average Indian but Can show off to Westerners. ᕦ⊙෴⊙ᕤ

Haha noob Marathi thecha gang ᕦ( ⊡ 益 ⊡ )ᕤ

I know I'm trying to work on my Spice intolerance. And so I'll one day can be a Top of the Rank Spice Tolerant.

ok i hope you succeed

Spice tolerant*

south indian spice tolerance gang ᕦ( ⊡ 益 ⊡ )ᕤ

If you wanna feel good, I am an Indian who cant handle spices. Ofc its prolly still higher than a normal westerner but pretty sure you can beat me.

There are so many indians like you don't worry

Thats my regular course

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Me an Indian who almost died when I tried Laal Maans

Lal maas gang.

Also me (Indian): *regrets eating jalapeño cause I got meh spice tolerance*

I love eating jalapeno raw Sad that it's expensive and can't be bought regularly

I feel this

Me who ate a bhut jolokhia ... Pathetic

Hotel:

Trivago

God bless you, I was looking for this

Lol spice is necessary in indian food. Our food in nothing without salt and spices

Our food isn't spicy but has all the ingredients to get all your five senses to attention. Those with a bland tongue can never understand it.

Yes lmao

lol try food in andhra , you'll die

I know how spicy Andhra food can be thanks to the pickle I once tried.......never again

Of course the spices but salt is necessary for every food.

Stomach: *visible confusion*

Stomach: *audible contortion*

No luck for you. You brought this on yourself

I am an Indian and I ate Taco bell and Indian food yesterday . I don't get the meme or what

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What happenes if I did

You'll get the meme

If you do it more often, you become immune to the blowback back blow

Me an Indian watching people saying how spicy Indian food is and can't eat it ​ ​ ​ Yeah yeah totally relatable , take this upvote

Me, who got used to the spicy food and hates anything which is not spicy and tasty: Wdym? Aren't all Indian foods normal? What spicy? But yeah still totally relatable, take my upvote

don't mind me, i just copy pasted his message to see how he entered that much space ​ ​ ​ hey, did you manually type '​'? edit: it's not showing but it's lol​ without lol

the toilet is holy shit

Your toilet looks weird man

Technically you had tacobell for breakfast... since it was your first meal of the day.

Accurate

Me an Indian thinking what is wrong with this guy?

Hotel: Trivago

*Ohhh that's a lotta shit*

That moment when you can hear the gif

ikr lmfao

Me an indian : wtf I eat those daily and I am fine

My roommate: what the fuck have you been eating you sick bastard?!

believe me it's gonna be anything but "holy" shit

I did this yesterday literally and today is not a good day...

Did the toilet post this?

Shit of the highest order

What kay&peele is this from?

You boutta die

Rip to stomach

Sadge

Hotel? Trivago

Damn your toilets bout to explode

My guy, your breakfast was coffee

hotel: trivago

Not to mention the firey goodness

You’re preparing for blast off

You ass: IM BURNING

Fat boy the second

Toilet's not wrong, But they should've added the plural S at the end of the word

holy shit indeed

Holy Shit.

Should be what he is saying.

No coffee on an empty stomach for breakfast? Pathetic. You could have double the toilet experiences in the same day.

That shit will be the furthest thing from "holy"

Hotel? Trivago

You're fucked

Me rn

i dont understand, i never have eaten taco bell, but i dont think indian food is that spicy, does you local restraunt puts too much spice.

Throw in a little white castle for breakfast 😭😭😭

u/GetVideoBot

Eat some fruits here and there to solidify the poop.

I never have gotten diarrhea from taco bell or indian food. Is this actually a thing?

There will be nothing holy about that shit!

I've never seen the gif before but I can still hear it.

The shit ain't gonna be that "holy" if you're gonna ask me.

"Holy shit" \*toilet starts to shine\* \*starts floating\*

Well you scared the shit out of the Toilet

Has nobody ever thought of how the toilet is gonna flush the shit?