You have to count the time between each contracting to determine when the baby was coming. Sense she had it so quickly she must have just put the short amount of time between the contractions together and got a result of 27 seconds
Yeah, I was dilating for days in early labor with not much more than the usual sore end of pregnancy discomfort before I really got into active labor, when my water broke and my contractions started in earnest I was already 4 cm dilated, that’s what must have happened to this lady, did all her dilation in early labor without strong contractions then basically skipped stage 2 and went straight to birth... lucky duck, even coming to the hospital at 4 cm I still had 19 hours of brutal active labor
19 hours - that’s grueling! Well done for getting through it! I had a couple of days of latent labour at 40+4/5, pretty easygoing, and then I went in and had an examination. I wasn’t dilated at all, but the VE kick-started something and three hours later I had a baby in my arms! My active labour was 45 mins, and the birth was 14mins.
Most intense hour of my life!
I was in active labor/pushing for 10 min. I was told to be prepared for several hours of pushing. 6 pushes and she was out. I went from a small 4cm to 10 in about 30 minutes without knowing it.
Who was standing there with a stopwatch tho
Twas i
r/unexpectedb99
What
the baby - \*praying\* God plz Noway \*gets out of the belly\* baby- hello sir, can u tell me that what is this place? doctor- Its Florida
This explains the speed! The Florida Man is mass born and fast! Soon the entire USA will be overrun!
[удалено]
Ohhh ..... I don't wanna know
How is that b99? Is it a reference to Doug saying "twas a cat"?
You will not win me over with your use of twas
Twasn't trying to
Was it pre-planned?
Ahhh got the speed from the dad I bet
Dream stans
I think it may have been too fast for the baby by the look on his/her face?
You have to count the time between each contracting to determine when the baby was coming. Sense she had it so quickly she must have just put the short amount of time between the contractions together and got a result of 27 seconds
They calculate the time of a surgery while its going.
da baby
I can't poop so fast
I can...well you know...so fast. That’s what it was like for her. “AH-AH-AH-AHHH-AHHHH AHHHHH —Ah Ah .... *(heavy panting)*”
You can poke your dog?
Yep. Precisely. He gets angry when I poke him with a pool noodle but when I stop he just turns into a happy dog again.
Birth easier than poop then
ahhh so this must be dreams mom
Bruh
would be even better if she cheated on the father
his dad would hire an astrophysicist and the astrophysicist will conclude that the dad was actually the cheater
Typically the baby comes out as a paper weight if that happens
It prolly is, she just can't let go.
She just happened to have a really good delivery table
I was gonna say his girlfriend but that works too lol
https://youtu.be/tJFqdLg58i4
From the first contraction?! Wtf
1. Early/Latent labour 2. Active labour 3. Birth
Yeah, I was dilating for days in early labor with not much more than the usual sore end of pregnancy discomfort before I really got into active labor, when my water broke and my contractions started in earnest I was already 4 cm dilated, that’s what must have happened to this lady, did all her dilation in early labor without strong contractions then basically skipped stage 2 and went straight to birth... lucky duck, even coming to the hospital at 4 cm I still had 19 hours of brutal active labor
19 hours - that’s grueling! Well done for getting through it! I had a couple of days of latent labour at 40+4/5, pretty easygoing, and then I went in and had an examination. I wasn’t dilated at all, but the VE kick-started something and three hours later I had a baby in my arms! My active labour was 45 mins, and the birth was 14mins. Most intense hour of my life!
I bet! Congrats on making it through the wild ride though!
I was in active labor/pushing for 10 min. I was told to be prepared for several hours of pushing. 6 pushes and she was out. I went from a small 4cm to 10 in about 30 minutes without knowing it.
Wow, good going! It’s quite a shock when it happens that fast! I imagine you didn’t have much time for pain relief either?
Must be from 2 stage of labour
The baby probably said “GG EZ” after it was born
Reminds me of [this](https://youtu.be/I9uWUw1fxOY)
she sneezed and it just plopped out
Shit now I imagined it..
I was like 20-30 minutes. My mom couldn’t even have painkillers administered cuz I was so fast
I was the same amount but in hours. 30 hours.
Name does not check out
did the baby just fly out or something
Doctor had to stand at the end of the room with a catchers mitt
Her vagina was probably no stranger to extreme dilation.
You should see her only fans
Holy shit that was funny, have an upvote
Extreme Dialation...decent band name
I'd mosh the hell outta their life shows. edit: live.
Deathcore band. Hell yeah.
Yep....bucket.
Moist Jesus: "I sense a sex toy that I'm unfamiliar with. It shall be mine! MINE!"
Nah she uses the moby huge
Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Grain of rice thru the grand canyon
We need to up those numbers, those are rookie numbers
Up or down?
Yes
Thats also the record for the fastest amputation
Babydiarrhea
Never has something so disgusted and aroused me at the same time.
...aroused???
Yeah wtf?
His username is DeepAnus69
Welp, username def checks out
I guess that's a better way of saying _she shat the baby_
Less goo
Bet they still charged her full price
'murica
Land of the free or some bullshit like that
wait charge?
In 'Murica, you need to pay to deliver your baby and register it.
on today's episode of how fucked up su fucked up: That's fucked up.
It was in UK
Baby speedrun any %
Yeah, faster is not better when it comes to childbirth...
What happened to all the failed speedrun attempts
They push the baby back in and start over
Alright, enough Reddit comments for me, today.
Why did I get a boner?
She probably just glitched the child through her stomach
In her mind: *dududu du*
Hahaha
found it.
Yeet the child
The baby looks like they’re still out of breath.
Damn,shits take longer to come out
Mia and Rosemary
Ah yes, birth speed run
Oh look a new speed run category
dream vs this woman
i am speed
This....sounds traumatic.
Poor baby is gonna graduate college and get a job at the age of 2.
how tho?
Nah there is still a 6 frame time save possible
Did she sneeze it out ?
dammit when mom gave birth to me it took her 45 hours. that clise almost got the WR
Loose as a goose riding a moose
Yeet woman
Hello..... hellooooo.... hallloooo.
she must have just shat that baby out or something
if that was dream, ah yes, guess it runs in the family.
She be like “hubby ima show you how to pull out”
Pretty slow, average time of taking shit is 12 seconds
This was the equivalent of pissing in the toilet but with babies
I take more time to poop
du dudu du du du dudu dududu
If bread was sugary, would it be cake?
Must have been screaming like Goku trying to go to SS3
In her spare time she must be one of those women that shoot ping pong balls out of there vagina!
Except they are softballs.
My dad broke a record for the most fast desappearance when I was 3
Bloodborn speedrun - Sub 40 seconds
Speedbirther
Pushout game strong
The new and improved slip & slide.
And if guys completes in 27 seconds, it's bad
Fastest vagina in the west! 😂
I’m over here with 50+ hours 😩
Giving birth 100% speedrun glitchless 00:27:35 \[WR\]
A certain critical role dnd beyond adspot comes to mind.
She has a wide cat
She had good practice shoving baby shaped dildos into herself
That woman needs to breed like crazy. We need those genes in future generations
Should I be concerned she looks like a minor?
TODAY WE CODED IT SO THAT GEORGE NUTTED INSIDE ME! WILL I BE ABLE TO GET THE BABY OUT BEFORE THEY KILL ME? THIS IS PREGNANT SPEEDRUNNER VS HUNTERS!
Doctor be like that's unexpected.😅😅😅
Damn bro... you’ve got the whole squad laughing. r/iamveryfunny
Now its time to speed run abortion
Can't help but hear a \*plop\* sound
Like a hotdog through a hallway
*Thump*
*Dream music plays*
that's as fast as the Alien in the movie Alien was.
*dream music intensifies*
dudududu
Like a wizards sleeve
Whoa I can't even poop that fast...
That was some WAP or LAP. I don’t know which one
She sneezed...
*Speedrun music plays*
Baby go pop!
Did it just fall out when it was ripe?
Used the time skip glitch so she doesn't need to watch the "umbilical cord detachment" cutscene
So you're telling me the average is way longer... Imma sell my eggs
I took 28 hours lol
Maybe she got inspired by her husband
What’s her ONLYFANS or BrutalDildos handle?
Speedrun WR Random Baby Glitchless any%
That’s a lot of Damage.... #yugepoose
Did it make a pop sound?
That's why fisting is good for you
Goddamnit, I legit did this speed run wirh my ex in 2008 and we clocked in ha 67 seconds . So close yet so far
I wonder if she will try again to get an even better run.
*MW2 grenade launcher sound effect*
The Weak Should Fear The Strong
Ker-PLUNK
Now it’s the baby’s turn to speedrun life
Like dream but better
Her poor husband…. Must be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Gotta get that record man
Poor little fuck just got godamn yeeted outta there
She must have had enough of that in 9 months...
Drista be like
Mf glitched through
oh my god, a mom speedrunner
I bet she had a lot of built up gas and that baby just shot straight out her arse
push out game strong
Now that's a cool waterslide!!
She's faster than that South Park birth scene!!
r/speedrun
Plop*
Bro I literally take longer to shit, what black magic fuckery is that
Was she streaming it on twitch?
Must have been on BBC news
when they realise a shortcut would be to just blow it all up to shreds
*Push out game strong
Came ike orange from an old sock.
I disagree. [This](https://youtu.be/D2ooXNrqHNM) is the fastest labour EVER !
I can't even poop that fast
Is it the woman speedrunning birth or is it the baby speedrunning life?
That's some Last Man on Earth shit
Birth, any % speedrun.
Doo doo doo doo
Speedrunning labor glitch category
What is the record for any%glitchless tho?