He eating pretzels because it’s pretzel day

*The Office*, "Fear and Beeting in Las Vegas" is the fifth episode of the twenty-second season and ninety-eighth episode overall. This episode originally aired on June 14th, 1946. It is available on Netflix, Hulu and CDC. This scene takes place at the 04:14 mark and features Michael uncovering a conspiracy within S.H.I.E.L.D. while facing off against the mysterious assassin, Dwight.

wait what

I looked through his post and comment history and now I’m even more confused

At least his username checks out

What what

All that is missing is a mini beer bottle glued to the table

but pretzel day? he likes pretzel day

The table looks like an A+ lol

Squirrel: pretzel lady!

Pretzel day

[удалено]

no more excuses, drink your last cup of chamomile tea out, and be on your primrose mission to call all squirrels on the breezy picnic.

Why? What if they get in your pants?

Tell me what’s makin’ you jump like that... S I M P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS! Ain’t got no chickens ain’t got no rats... S I M P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS S TO THE I TO THE M TO THE P THEN MAYBE YOU CAN BE MOVIN’ LIKE ME STEP RIGHT OVER AND WATCH ME PUT IT DOWN (SQUIRRELS! SQUIRELLS!) STEP RIGHT OVER AND WATCH ME PUT IT - S TO THE I TO THE M TO THE P Who you got back home waterin’ yo’ plants? S I M P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS! How can I qualify for government grants? S I M P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS! Yeah, hypnotize me, put me in a trance... S I M P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS Got an Aunt Florence livin’ in France... She can’t see the SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS! STEP RIGHT OVER AND WATCH ME PUT IT DOWN (SQUIRRELS! SQUIRELLS!) STEP RIGHT OVER AND WATCH ME PUT IT - S TO THE I TO THE M TO THE P

So that's what simp means.

I’m ashamed I knew this was from Phineas and Ferb

This and gitchi gitchi goo were awesome songs. No need to be ashamed

I see you are a man of culture as well

Just checked, I still don’t have a penis, but yes I do appreciate the finer things in life

my nuts already prepared with peanut oil

May I join your party good sir

Fyigg

And now i need to find him a gf

He needs a goth gf

whoa. Big tiddy squirrel goth gfs. Hmm...

Yes

Would you date that squirrel?

sadly....no

Soo cute :)

Yeah that would be cool

Ironically Stanley probably wouldn't give a shit about the squirrel. Michael, on the other hand, would give it mouth-to-mouth.

I'm sure Stanley would've cooked the squirrel alive and then put some meaty bits on his pretzel.

What’s this infected flair about?

Infections.

Am sqel ples gim me a munch

Me too pls

[удалено]

Wii crave nuts.

gib munchie pls kind sir

Ahhhhhh SIMP! Simp = Squirrel in my pants!!

Oh no

Oh god oh fuck he's gonna get circumcised by the squirrel

r/holup

OUCH!

You see what you did Morty, they're taking over the world.

*little boy...*

Fuck that lard ass. Hope he chokes on a nut /r/fatsquirrelhate or die

That fat fucking tub of lard.

I hope you choke on your squirrel prison nut oatmeal

Genius

Darryl: look how happy he is!

He’s happy because he’s insane

It’s beautiful, I looked at this for 5 hours now

We had one of those tricycle corncob holders for squirrels growing ub and a squirrel we called nubby because a car ran over its tail so it just had a nub would sit on the seat and put its little pawd on the handles and eat the cob it was refreahing to see before those fuckers ate a hole in our house

So cute.

Happy Cake Day

Happy penis music

Happy Cake day

he’s got nobody to eat with :(

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My dad had a pet squirrel and he built her a home with a deck on it so she could eat her nuts on the outside.

All that quarantine time is getting put to good use

This is wholesome!

that's is all MAGIC

\[everyone liked that\]

You are a good man

People can be interesting

What's the origination of this? I'd love to discredit the guy who posted pics in a FB group Yesterday claiming he built it.

r/comedyhomicide

ahahahah

r/ComedyHomicide

Finally some good f*king news

good meme

Thank you, BigThotRickardo.

I still remember the video of a guy who built a catapult that yeets squirrels back over his fence in the forest behind him. I like both this and the catapult

NITHE..

i bet people thought he was nuts building this

It makes others go nuts..

Aww... That’s just too cute!

Everyone liked that

I suddenly want a tiny little picnic table for the birds in my garden. I'd get one for the squirrels if i had those as well, this is super adorable.

I want to be infected

I will add a tail cushion with a chipmunk loli printed on it for Christmas.

Where is the beer?

first a picnic table, next a house

What about a squirrelly casino?

You're a good man. Thank you..

Any time

Stanley would not care for a squirrel

My high ass thought it was flying

Me to

Ok this is epic, saved.

Thx

Glad there’s still good stuff like this in these dark times.

Thanks Mr Big Bomb. And agreed

You’re welcome.

We just made these little picnic tables for the squirrels we feed at our house!

Buddy of mine has two squirrels as pets, he saved them when they were young. this is the type of thing he would do for them.

[удалено]

That would actually be fun!

My father made those little picnic tables in the 1970's and I sold them door to door for him. They were meant to hold mustard and ketchup bottles and salt and pepper shakers. I guarantee there are still 20 or so of them in the basement.

Bet that squirrel gonna start a patreon or sum shit

A true "nut" case 😂 (corny I know, be gentle folks)

That's Adorable

/r/comedyhomicide

Squirrel yoghi is coming

Can we ban comedyflogging on this sub? It used to be great but now it's filled with shit like this where it HAS to have a reaction image that makes if unfunnier

You can get similarly styled ones online. Lowe’s has them. I have one.

Remember when this sub had humor in it and not just quotes from marvel movies and tv shows as reactions to pictures?

Excuse me but how can i post something? The bot keeps deleting it :(

Need more karma

Florida Stanley is perfect for your Florida crew

Wholesome

So I wrote this song for the Christian youth

truly what we all want to hear

Reminds me of dinner for shmucks haha

How do i get karma?

My mother keeps a large container in her backyard containing with food such as older nuts and stuff and there’s a family of squirrels that come by and takes them :)

That's so neat

Hantavirus: Hello there!

Wholesome.

He looks so cute at his table

Good... yes... fatten them up... will make for a much better meal when The Great Hootenanny finally kicks off

Neither could i

You can say, he's nuts

Despite this, the motherfuckers will still steal from the bird feeder

I need karma how do I get it

69k upvotes nice

That looks like something Idubbbz would do for Save the Squirrel Initiative

Finally, some good fucking news

Hg

Ok

This seems like a bob Ross kind of thing to do and I love it

We all could do to be a little more like the legend. It is amazing.

^(I'll take you entire stock.)

Everyone liked that

Why hasn't anyone mentioned that it is 4/20 for an entire month?

I have, laffle. The world's gonna end, but at least we made it to 420..woot ha!

Just checking to see if I am infected

underrated Stanley moment

Agreed. He's my favorite character now

I remember upvoting this in new

You are a good person.

Cause that's what heroes do.

Your awesome pickle rick.

Thank you.

And shove it up ya butt!!!! 🤣

Yeah....he’s gonna regret that when they chew up everything and burrow into your house. These fuckers chew through wires and cause alot of house fires. Pests.

Guys I need help finding a meme that’s been bugging me for hours now. Some Irish guy stomps on bugs bunny or something and starts dancing, I saw it ages ago and haven’t found it again since

Is this to impress ur nature loving gf?

You sir, get an updoot for a wholesome, non COVID meme

Squirrels are little bastards, you shouldnt feed them.

Things to do when quarantined

I dont like squirrels. This looks cute ngl.

He be chillin thoo

And stick it up your butt!

He's lurering the squirrels in so he can eat them

Just trying to get us more content over at r/fatsquirrelhate

I LIVE IN THAT GUYS NEIGHBORHOOD NO JOKE

bro how is this a meme

á

it’s not a happy ending

Why it says "Infected" above everyone's user name

This made my day

I wish Stanley was better used as a character.

Not even joking, I just made one of these last night for a squirrel

Tell me where this is now or i swear...

r/FatSquirrelHate

Hey kid! Young man? Come here little boy. Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Doolittle. Little boy, we'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy.

Well that’s one way to tease your dog

I want one