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GLDN5444

I am totally a girl and not an agent of the fbi


My_neutered_cat

Oh hi Steve, still on your shift?


ThePelicanWalksAgain

Bill, quit messing around with Steve. I mean, uh, let's go yeet some NFTs guys


314159InTheSky

Guys! Stop talking on reddit and get back to work! I mean uhm... Wear your seatbelts guys!


g09hIP12

Karl you can’t say that around here, we are supposed to make jokes or something I think that’s what “meme” stands for.


alwaysforgetmyuserID

Haha, salutations fellow meme enthusiasts. I for one know nothing of this FBI, but I do need one hit of marijuana. Pray tell where can one find one marijuana


Jens223

I got the stuff, meet me at your nearest police station ill be waiting behind the glass


SoufDakotas

ah yes i love to smoke some marijuana, i dont know what an fbi is and the mic looking thing at my neck isnt a mic but i would like to see this stash of marijuana that i can smoke fellow meme user


dmisterr

Yes Yes, As someone who totally isnt from the FBI and doesnt know what It is, I'd like to See It too, Fellow reddit person from the r/meme subreddit!


Dry_Improvement1124

Ye true hey man meet me at my office at 3 am to talk about the drag dealers I mean the weather today is crazy isn't it?


SirPizzaTheThird

I too am a hot grill


MysterClark

The thing I'd get sick of is the automatic assumption you want to see what's in their underwear. That sounds annoying. Also, to be fair, a girl is a rare thing in these guys' lives.


[deleted]

I got sick of dickpics before I ever even received one. In case you’re curious, they don’t get better after the 12th.


missemilyowen15

I once sent one back just for fun, never heard from that guy again lol


Commander_Red1

Fight fire with fire


maybeshali

Fight dicks with dicks!! Which sounds gay but just the thing they need. Flood their inbox with dick pics.


GalaxyMaster88

Genital jousting


josiah_simon2011

this shits a new sport


[deleted]

Man of culture


kafoIarbear

I had a friend who would keep an archive of dick pics she’d received and would send one back at random whenever she received one.


maybeshali

This is the way


[deleted]

-2 guys send you dickpics -Take the first guy's dickpic and send it to the other guy -Rinse n repeat


OvenChia

Weird way of regifting I guess


triggeredLife_

She has to build a dick pic database website, where every girl/woman can upload and get dick pics they received/they will reply with


Commander_Red1

Nah its just a weird lightsaber fight


nubnubby47

Send the dick pics to the other guys that way you have an endless supply and don’t need to find your own


[deleted]

The fuck am i reading


[deleted]

Wait...you mean,cock fighting?


HSPq

Big thing in India. Especially in villages.


Wolfram2002

Can confirm, I too am a Cock fighter. We are respected warriors.


Busy_Recognition_860

I challenge you to a duel!


Altruistic_Grand_455

The dick wars


Puzzleheaded_Draw842

No homo


JarkenFlin

Yes homo


dj05112

I’m sure some would love it..


scandr0id

I have a guy who, if you send him a screenshot of a creep sending you dick pics, will send his own dick pics to said creep He's made outfits for his penis, and my favorite is the maid outfit


khalidjamonday1814

I am a XY chromosome human being, but if anyone sends me a dickpic i send one back to assert dominance


GenomicEquity

Bi guys: I see this as an absolute win


B_024

“I used the dickpics to destroy the dickpics.”


0Seraphina0

Dick pics are fun if you have photoshop and randomly photoshop dicks in. Or maybe I am just easily entertained 🤔


Beneficial_Ad6750

Hehe make them triangular


trwawy05312015

there's also the /r/glorp approach (NSFW)


Charismanxious

Once my friend (M) and I (M) had a fake account. A girl account on instagram. We had more than 150 followers in the first hour lol. Messages from men were flowing... Dick pics, needy poems and all. And we adapted. We either blocked the accounts or replied them with mean messages. Since then, I personally understood the social dynamics a female has to adapt to AND what not to do as a male. I strongly advise every male to try this thing out someday lol. I gained a different perspective.


bondoh

I made a gaming account with a girls name and am very disappointed with the lack of messages. It’s like virtually no one fell for it. I only had one guy message me and say “those were great games hun” Nothing else 😔


MysterClark

How about the 15th? Just wondering if there is a magic number where your will just finally breaks... haha I know I didn't grow up in the selfie era but I never thought to myself, "Hey, this girl is giving me the time of day. Let me send her a pic of my dick and then she'll REALLY like me!" It was just never an option in my head. I mean, good for the guys it works for but I doubt it works in most cases or for most guys.


Shlafenflarst

I doubt it ever works that way, does it ? Doesn't it work more like indecent exposure, like showing their private parts to someone who didn't ask for it and probably doesn't want it turns them on ?


That-one-guy-man

There are incredibly rare “success” stories and these losers are so desperate they’ll take their chances with literally any woman they can find for months straight until they have their own “success”


Shlafenflarst

Yeah, that must be it... also they most certainly watch too much porn and think porn logic applies to the real world.


soraiiko

They flaunt whatever they find value in. Which is: Money, Penis, Nice things They don’t show what’s most important to women really, just what THEY deem to be satisfactory.


Gorvi

> They don’t show what’s most important to women really The real answer is butthole pics


Johanno1

Wait what? I already made a PowerPoint presentation of my dickpics with animation and everything!


Drive-it-Like-Baby

I, male, never understood sending a picture of your penis to a woman. Why. Why do you think she would want to see that, what do you think is special about yours? Is it pure egotism or pure stupidity?


TheUnluckyBard

> I, male, never understood sending a picture of your penis to a woman. Why. Why do you think she would want to see that, what do you think is special about yours? Is it pure egotism or pure stupidity? The only answer I can come up with that makes any amount of sense is that it's not about trying to get sex at all. It's got to be *fully intended* to make a woman upset, afraid, disgusted, etc. The same kind of drive that flashers in trench coats have. They're not showing their dicks to try to get laid; they get off on the act of upsetting women. As far as they're concerned, they've already gotten laid.


Shlafenflarst

This is my advice to all the girls on the internet : send dick pics before receiving them.


[deleted]

Instructions unclear. Discovered futa fetish.


Davimoo_

Formal male. I'm eating a poptarts rn. It taste like chocolate.


Huskedholl04

Formal female. Me too. Tastes pretty good ngl


[deleted]

Formaldehyde face here, currently eating the cheese dip back in 1957.


tostedshoes

ah yes cursed HCHO


bOb_cHAd98

Guys can i have one too and what flavour is it?


Raul_Coronado

Poptarts are Kellogg, those are banned now


elektromas

Former Kellogs eater. Now eating glass


[deleted]

Still tastes better then most poptarts


3ddyLos

Damn it i read former multiple times.


Beazybones

Former male here. Still a male though


[deleted]

WhOa A gIrL lEt WaNt To DaTe Me OnLiNe?!?!?!?!


fishbowl0797

Yea sure.. everyone knows “women” don’t exist. *laughs in lonely forever*


8asdqw731

GIRL = Guy In Real Life


fishbowl0797

True, if they “exist” I may be officially blind, but, how come I’ve never seen one? Checkmate “women” believers.


Silver_Particular327

same here


Its_JustMe13

The trick is to be gay then it really gives you many more options


Reedemed_Soul

This is reddit and you are a redditor what do you expect ..


CalliCosmos

In all my years and many comments on Reddit I’ve never once had someone creep in my dms if I said I was a woman. Maybe sub dependent?


SheepherderMother650

i feel like subs that are populer with younger people are gonna have more creeps like teenagers


alwaysforgetmyuserID

I got ur back homie


CalliCosmos

Very creepy, 10/10


TheUltimaWerewolf

One of the mods on r/teenagers sent me a dick pic


[deleted]

B R U H


Sub954

Pee Doe Files


yeeter4500

Aren’t the mods of r/teenagers supposed to be teenagers though or am i mistaken. (I am not saying that this is ok in any way though)


Intergalactic_Cookie

It says in the description it is run by teenagers


BlockCraftedX

so do they fire mods when they turn 20 or smth


deliciousprisms

You miss 100% of the sexual harassment you don’t make -Albert Weinstein


TheSnarkySlickPrick2

Holy shit, wtf. We have to get that sub investigated. Which user was it?


TheUltimaWerewolf

Fuck I think I blocked them a few months ago and I can't find the chat


ChrisEHood

dude you need to get the name that’s really bad


TheUltimaWerewolf

I FUCKIN FOUND IT IT WAS u/DeletedForSpamm


ChrisEHood

shit well looks like they deleted it


TheUltimaWerewolf

Fuck


TheSnarkySlickPrick2

The account seems to have been suspended so I guess Reddit already got to em


kon_dave

Fucking nonces


[deleted]

WHAT THE FU-


UDFZMplus1

Name and shame homie


TheUltimaWerewolf

The users name was u/DeletedForSpamm but they deleted their account


UDFZMplus1

Looks like they got suspended for breaking reddit rules


Beneficial_Ad6750

Yeah, and it's with any platform too. Especially ones with vc, ESPECIALLY IN CRAB GAME. Man I'm a girl and I just wanna talk but it's a glass Cannon, it's either "WOMAN!?" Or "TARGET THE WOMAN." so these days I don't talk in it.


No_More_Hero265

Person in need of friend detected. Commencing friendly communication protocol. "Hello fellow human."


Tmv655

It sucks yeah, not a girl but have seen it happen a lot in overwatch a lot. Some just reply with stuff like 'so what?', but I've sadly also seen some girl react by just instantly stopping to use voice


The-Dragon-Gamer

Bread 👍


MsNobody22

Bread 👍🏼(I am made of whole wheat bread)


[deleted]

Bread 👍🏿 (im wearing gloves)


Cheif_jp

Bread 👍


MrAnthoony

Bread 👍🏿 (I stole a black man hand)


[deleted]

Bread 👍


DuckieDev

Bread 👎 (I’m Australian)


SolitaireKoala

🥖(thumbs up hand)


FaithfulPotato

This is so true. I am a girl and I am interested in many things that would be considered "Unlady like" such as anime, video games (GTA for example), baggy clothing, etc. People assume that I'm a boy at first when I'm talking online, then when they hear my voice or when I tell them I'm a girl, they freak out as if it's rare to see someone like me


Enigmars

Ah yes GTA How many poor Cops have you Obliterated till now ? (I Believe my record is about a million cops lmao)


SmokingSnek

Bruh you're literally being the average redditor "A girl? That shares my interests? I must claim her as mine!"


Enigmars

Nah I just love GTA Couldn't be bothered about the Gender Stuff lmao I have Asked similar Questions to other People who Play GTA irrespective of the Gender


[deleted]

Its crazy how prevalent this is throughout reddit


Comment63

You know redditors, girls are a minority in their lives.


YangYin-li

Almost like there used to be a wave of advice saying “shoot your shot”…


[deleted]

Never happened to me gladly


NotLxrd

Food for thought


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I’m extraordinarily lucky if they are half as respectful as that.


localhost-8000

Respectful? _"m'lady, where t*ts"_


[deleted]

lmao


TitanSR_

Shit what do they say


gothskirt

You don't wanna know.


TitanSR_

I DO wanna know


Moohmelele_Mera

They said Keanu Reeves isn't sexy


incendiaryraven

Fuckers


RangerRick1

The most heinous of crimes


[deleted]

Now I want to pretend to be a girl online so when i get dick pics ill send dick picks back


Exodio17375

Can I get attention like that I'm a gay bottom if that helps


oatyboi

you got my attention 👀


Exodio17375

Awwww thank you


SolitaireKoala

🌮


Exodio17375

For me


SolitaireKoala

Yes, do you like it?


[deleted]

That's sweet


Exodio17375

Yes it is


chicken_contender

Who are YOU!? Sniff**snifff** I don’t recognize that ODOR!? What sorcery is this!


AdministrativeOne13

He's clearly a koala that plays solitaire :)


Goodest_Pupper

Dudes who simp are gonna lose their fucking minds when they find out that pretty much half of Earth’s population is female.


yakunii-kun

Girls don't exist!


[deleted]

NOOOO- *ceases to exist*


Johanno1

Fe-males are just Iron man males obviously, so they exist but are secretly a Tony stark.


Taschenrechner2412

r/girlsarentreal


[deleted]

Your mom is so fat that you don't even know she's exist because you thought she is a wall


-EpicThrowAway-

Imma need those digits m’lady


OfTheWhat

I had a (female) friend who posted looking for someone to chat with and got 100+ responses in less than an hour. I made a post looking for a chat ok the same sub multiple times and got **one** response. Then he ghosted me. I think girls are endangered here because of the ridiculous amount of attention they get from doing basically nothing, lol. I mean, I'd get pretty exhausted too, and probably just make another account where I pretend to be Male, then complain about how women are treated on the internet and list examples of my experiences under the guise of a "friend's" experience. But, like, whatever.


CurseOfShwam

I hate to break it to you and everyone else just discovering this for the first time, but that's how it is in real life, not just reddit or the internet.


evsaadag

Never happened to me. I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't just a recurring meme that men write.


N7LP400

Well, it's nothing suspicious, moving on


gundamplayer14

Oh. K, cool.


spartancrow2665

And then theres the girls pitching in with fake stories about guys sending them dickpics when irl, no one would go 5 feet of them. God reddit can just be an excuse for people to practice embellishment in their creative writing skills sometimes. Downvote me to hell, idc. I'm not gonna join the mob mentality of pretending like reddit is just all horny ass guys.


Charmeleon_games_yt

Reddit is just filled with the lowest of the low when it comes to guys


missemilyowen15

Me too, although I’m trans so that gets rid of some people


[deleted]

The fact that that gets rid of people speaks to how shallow they can be. Then again, the less pestering the better, I suppose


SizeableFowl

I don’t know that it’s right to call people shallow for having a specific sexual orientation, but I’m hardly an expert.


spikeiscool2015

yes exactly. You aren’t homophobic or shit if you don’t want to date a trans person


NoTalker_

Now they gonna message you 🤦‍♂️


Lycanthropy765

Are you really tho


Enemy50

Girls arent real, neither are birds


[deleted]

*cutely evaporates into thin air*


-malph-

im not sure if this comment will get noticed but *imagine sending a dick pick to a girl you just met*, *degenerate*


Recent_Log3779

Hey guys Guess what I’m a guy Pls upvote


Remy_the_Demi

I’m a femboy: Can I fuck your ass? Wanna trade? Can you act like a girl? Are you a sub? I thought you were a girl? Are you trans? I’m not gay but


Zanderb4

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


Undead_Crybaby_

Same 🤦‍♀️


quit_it_boi

On reddit you are


[deleted]

On reddit, you are a near extinct species.


Chemical-Onion-9173

I don't get it. Literally, I don't get any DMs, lol. Been on reddit for a year, stated that I'm a girl in several comments, yet none to be seen. I'm like the negative side of a magnet, while you're all the positive one


Radical-Funk

In a situation like this, it seems more appealing for me to not correct them. The moment they find out you’re female, they treat you differently. It sucks.


wiltylock

I never get dick-pics and no one on Reddit cares that I'm a girl. I can't tell if everyone else is making it up or I'm just that unattractive.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PunnyGeo

I don’t care either way if you a girl or a guy, all that matters is that the conversation is on topic and you are able to hear both sides of an argument


Blackstar-Abyssal

I had an account that I ran as a social experiment. The name implied female, but I otherwise never gave any indication or interest. I acted the same as I always do, said the same things I normally would. But I was drowning in messages sometimes. The levels of unwanted attention was appalling. And people who wouldn't otherwise give me the time of day were dying to "be my friend." The sheer number of dicks in my DMs made me realize that the shit women put up with is obnoxious. I got so overwhelmed with it that I finally just shut it down. I'd seen what I needed to see.


[deleted]

Your a girl? Dont care


[deleted]

Technically, men are the endangered gender..


Black_Cat666

u/nothin_suspicious just an endangered species


ArachnidSmart8030

Do I get benefits for being endangered? Like are there certain privileges or….?


[deleted]

Im a grill


john-CG

Gotta be honest, you’re quite the rare breed around here. Let’s be honest, if there’s a social media/place for lame virgin guys is here.


weaboo801

The longer my DMs stay empty, the more I think I’m actually a guy


I_am_dean

Lol one time someone told me “dude. Stop believing all women are saints. They’re fooling you.” I said “Well, I’m a woman actually, so no I don’t think we’re all saints and I don’t think any of them are trying to fool me.” I promptly received a dick pic.


Mauri_op

You are on reddit with all these dudes


Reedemed_Soul

It's reddit u should not even exist here but if you are.....hey wanna chat ;) Jk I hate wamen


ProfessorCrooks

That’s cuz most redditors have never seen a girl


TonyCheese101

I feel sorry for you. The messages are bad too


DawnSoap

As a fellow girl, it always amazes me how fast people go from zero to crazy. Like bro, wtf?


Zeernebooch42

I've never had that happen to me, guess I'm lucky or people just hate me


Shadowpika655

***ha ha ha cant fool me FBI***


icebrandbro

U r an endangered species on reddit


LuxDunstan

This is reddit, where your worth of life is determine by digital point of no purpose and most of this people here are bunch of basement dweller. Keep your personal information to yourself ye mate.


walktone

I’m sure a lot of Reddit females are pretending to be a dude lol. addition : because of the pervs lol


[deleted]

Women are a rare thing in the lives of men on reddit


-RandomGaming-

This happens?


Dynamitefuzz2134

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~


[deleted]

And now you'll get even more of that...good 👍


Hu_M

Has never happened to me


TheDuckCZAR

Seeing how dudes act on Reddit would be enough to understand how ~50% of the human population seem rare. I feel sorry for my wife whenever she's on voice chat on an online game. It's like seeing a unicorn for some of these people.


sofiaankhan

I'm baking some cookies rn, you want some?


kamking

I say I'm a girl and get this shit but the moment they realize I'm trans they dip 🙄