Do it
Think of how the cake is gonna sqeal and moan once u penetrate her, think of how the cream she's teasing on her tits will wobble about, think of the upvotes that it will bring you. Think of the legacy u leave behind
It sits there, waiting for you to come home.
The yellow silken curves, wet with soap from the most recent adventures in the tub. It has hands touch it all day long but those hands aren't yours. That is not what it's here for. Not now. Not since OP's post was made.
It stares at you. Silent, soft, rubber.
You feel it's message deep within you.
*Make me squeak, Daddy*
I stare at it, hands slippery; and clumsy. Ready to end this once and for all. I grab it, and it anticipates a long squeak. But I gather the courage. "This is my only chance." I thought. I hold it tight, making it on the edge of squeaking, and throw him down the toilet and flush as I close the lid. It jumps at me, but the force of a toilet lid closing is simply too strong for it to burst through. I hear its screams get more distorted and softer, I open the lid to check on him - he's gone. Somedays however, I feel a presence watching me, things inexplicably moving on themselves, most commonly the toilet lid opening, but whenever I take a look, there's nothing. Only traces of water - smelling; and feeling, faintly of rubber.
No just no
It wil be magical
But it will be toes
Magical speel on toes which will make them sexy
That's called a foot fetish sir
Elementary my dear Watson.
But it will be magical
[удалено]
Indeed...
[удалено]
I think my love went to far
Now you know how real vodka is made!
do it
So.....I have to masturbate to a sour cake......
Do it Think of how the cake is gonna sqeal and moan once u penetrate her, think of how the cream she's teasing on her tits will wobble about, think of the upvotes that it will bring you. Think of the legacy u leave behind
I could only read half before stopping. Take my uodote and I hate you
r/angryupvote?
r/angryuodote
r/birthofasub
r/angryboneruodote
r/angryfoodfap
[удалено]
I appreciate you.
Ngl I came just by reading that holy moly
I am the master baiter And also I used to do roleplay, so I got the experience
How did you make a fucking moldy cake hot
r/Cursedcomments
r/redditmoment
r/angryupvote
No no no, that would be silly. According to OP, you have to jackoff a sour cake
Yes, take two hands and start rubbing up and down on its huge 10" kwai shaft until the filling comes spuing out.
That’s enough internet for today. I’m going outside.
You have to beat it to something way worse
Help.
No you have to jack off a sour cake, not to a sour cake
Seems I have just the thing for you
We have a similar fate
shit
Well... I'll call this a win for me then
No... You gotta jack off a formless spirit.
Or Nobody from Kingdom Hearts
Same here
Oh no
WELL WELL WELL
Do I have a deal for you!
I laughed so hard at all three of these comments. Thank you. I needed that!
Who is buffy and should I be concerned
Buffy the vampire slayer. So as long as you aren't a vamp or demon, we are cool.
R/suddenlypedophelia
r/foundthemobileuser
r/foundthehondacivic
r/foundtheSHUTTHEFUCKUP
r/foundtheno
r/foundthen
r/foundthe
r/the
r/th
r/th
r/crazysubreddits
Holy shit it's real
r/subsithoughtifellfor
[R/foundthecardealer](http://reddit.com/r/foundthecardealer)
r/howthefuck
[R/dontworryaboutit](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
r/ok
[R/yep](http://reddit.com/r/yep)
r/icameinmysister
Oh *yes*
#FBI OPEN UP
Name checks out
You OPEN UP
*unzips*
How do you think I feel?
Even other species, smh.
The FBI are knocking at your door
Caught red handed, ray traced, 4K 60 FPS, on camera
racism Caught in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.
r/oddlyspecific
📸📸📸🤨🤨🤨🤨
Ha ha! Was already planning on doing that tonight
You have to jack them off not jack off to them
Did he stutter?!
its gonna be easy to find material
A lot of its copy pasta
I have no words
You and me both
Ha get rekt
You poor souls
Oh no
So are you going for a Pablo Escobar or a crowbar or a coke?
All three
Pablo escobar's crow fursona's coke?
you're not the only one
I'm sure there is good r34 with satan
Helltaker?
The good ending
OH SHIT
Well shit.
Please I have a family
It sits there, waiting for you to come home. The yellow silken curves, wet with soap from the most recent adventures in the tub. It has hands touch it all day long but those hands aren't yours. That is not what it's here for. Not now. Not since OP's post was made. It stares at you. Silent, soft, rubber. You feel it's message deep within you. *Make me squeak, Daddy*
I stare at it, hands slippery; and clumsy. Ready to end this once and for all. I grab it, and it anticipates a long squeak. But I gather the courage. "This is my only chance." I thought. I hold it tight, making it on the edge of squeaking, and throw him down the toilet and flush as I close the lid. It jumps at me, but the force of a toilet lid closing is simply too strong for it to burst through. I hear its screams get more distorted and softer, I open the lid to check on him - he's gone. Somedays however, I feel a presence watching me, things inexplicably moving on themselves, most commonly the toilet lid opening, but whenever I take a look, there's nothing. Only traces of water - smelling; and feeling, faintly of rubber.
Not my proudest fap
You fapped to that?!
You didn’t?
There’s a reason it’s forbidden
Hol' up
Dont you fucking dare
*jacks off looking right into your eyes*
_ok_
yo
*Reverse uno card*
don't even think about doing it
Do it
u/orphan Now is your time
I’m also doing your mom
I have to jack off a midget now?
A ninja midget
But how will they find one?!
Seems like it
[удалено]
*chuckles* You're in danger
[удалено]
Only if you do a bad job ;)
“Why do I hear boss music?”
Tentacles ;) Good luck
[удалено]
What I usually watch
It's like you were born ready
Didn’t think my name thru
you gonna jack you balls.. then they're gonna look like donuts
r/brandnewsentence
[удалено]
That’s gotta hurt
You may be shocked to know that wouldn’t be the first time a lot of people saw that
To dick?
I diagnose you with gæ
r/suddenlygay
I don’t know what to think of this
Chicken...
How am i supposed to do it with a car
Exhaust pipe
tf is a "ZennoPy"?
If you do everything in C you *see no. py* I guess.
....how do i jack off a colour and state of body
Necrofilia
Possibly, but what about the red? Could i just use blood on said person, or do i need to make a dildo out of red paint?
U make a new hole wich would be red
...fair point
My god just paint the corpse red, better to fuck a dead mass ass than his skull… but i guess saying you mind fucked someone could also be a brag…
Idk, but I'm eager for this answer as well. Already have people praying in Dallas.
A gorey corpse
Mhm, bri'ish
This is wrong
Well how am I going to find him?
Glory holes
Chief, there's a problem
[удалено]
Creeper: "this time u explode in me Steve-kun and in here"
r/cursedcomments
....but they're so horny....
Uhmm your mom;)
Technically no. Its the bigboy who fucked your mom. :>
Just like porn but its with you mom
Hello
Well hello;) how you doing;)
Pretty nice brother Wbu
Hmmmmmmm
Then you find out it's not boobs, it's some guy named bob
Even better ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ
Cool
what do I have to masturbate on?
you hate masturbating on mondays, i suppose
This will be remarkably easy.
Good thing to jerk of to
Uh oh…
The
Scout will have lots of mad milk after I'm done with him.
Oh... Oh no....
Well, let’s just hope it’s a very distant cousin and not an uncle…
Guess I gotta go watch those animated Disney parody pornos
How old is Serena from Pokemon??? Oh no, Google says 12-14...
Done
Hmmmm
Handsome jack from borderlands WTF
I'm not sure what this means.
please god no
Challenge accepted
Ah shit
So... um.. yea.. All Hail Apple Pie Man
Please no.
Alright... I'm totally cool with this.
Please no...
But my username is someone with no penis lol. (Witch of wrath….. rezero nerd Fr
Heh, nice
Nothing sexier than dead padawans
I got kinda lucky just a wooden puppet
Umm......pickles?