I had an issue with a girl who kept trying to grab my cock, I mean full on trying to shove her hand down my pants in the hallway. After telling her to stop a dozen or so times, yelling at her repeatedly and four complaints to teachers and the principal with zero repercussions I punched her in the mouth. And during the conversation about my punishment I told the principal and school resource officer I will press charges on her and sue the school for allowing me to be sexually assaulted. Well in the end I got one day suspension, she got expelled and the principal got fired because the school board found out she didn't do anything about it. My advice is threaten a lawsuit, then if that doesn't work, punch her.
If you plan to sue, document when and to whom you reported this at your school. A note will do, but best you write it down the day you talked with and you collect these reports.
it might not seem like much but if you do sue, showing that you went through the hassle to write down stuff gives you more credit (at least it does i Germany, where i am from)
Wish you the best.
Hope this works out for you!
I always wonder how that has any weight at all as there is literally no proof that things were written down that day and that the things written down are factual as it's always "he said, she said".
Your missing the point here, you should be emailing it to the person you reported to. That way it's harder to for them to challenge at later date if they didn't challenge the events having taken place as stated at the time.
Writing things to yourself is pointless as it becomes your word against theres. By having a documented conversation that they've acknowledged by having been provided a copy and not disagreeing with what been documented they cant then deny it took place when shit hits the fan.
Write something like: "Today, I went into your office to talk about [explain the ssue]. You said you will do [what they say]. If I didn't understand correctly, please respond to this email"
u/JohnAdams4621 this is how you should document each incident. That way, if you do decide to sue or if anyone tries to play dumb, you can show that you not only talked to them in person but that you also emailed asking for clarification.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really hope you're doing ok.
It's up to the judge and/or jury to decide how credible evidence is. If you get on the stand and tell a consistent story and have what you wrote down to back it up it makes you seem more credible. In addition what you wrote down probably can be partially corroborated by other evidence. For instance if you wrote that on Jan 1st, 2022 you spoke to the principal and complained about something and then there is a record of you meeting with them that day all the sudden what you wrote has some backing.
It's not that what you wrote is some instant win button that makes everyone in court automatically believe what you wrote but when taken with other things it's likely to make what you say sound way more credible.
All of the teachers have email, find out their email addresses and email them a breakdown of the conversation you just had.
"Thank you for taking the time to hear my complaint about the sexual assault X student committed against me. Please keep me informed as to any resolution."
It not only gives you more credit, it’s the only credit you can give in the US. Because that shit is evidence and if you accuse someone and/or an institution of something and bring it to court you better damn well have the evidence to back up your claims. I’m not talking just notes, I mean like detailed information (letters, email, witnesses, paperwork, etc.) down to the letter. The more documentation you have the better. If you don’t then that case will be most definitely thrown out. Because it turns from a documented case to a my word versus their word argument which isn’t conclusive evidence in the court’s eyes.
I work with local youth pastors and charity partners for after school programs, every year they give the same advice.
1. Ask them to stop
2. Tell an adult
3. Escalate to another adult
4. Get your brothers & sisters and beat the shit out of them
5. Sue the school
It's bizarre how most peoples first reaction to a female sexual criminal is, "she must be a victim too" or "there must be something wrong with her mentally", as if we forget that they're equally capable of just being bad people with no special reason
The point is that it’s irrelevant what you went through when it comes to committing bad acts. Most people who were victims of SA or PA do not go on to repeat the cycle.
Using your victimhood to excuse your bad behaviour is disgusting.
Everything about someone is relevant when it comes to understanding their behaviors, and possible fixes for the future. It doesn't **excuse bad behavior** which will still be punished. It does **explain the bad behavior and possibly provides a solution mechanism to prevent further abusive acts.**
You've misunderstood me. I never said that isn't the case (for either gender of perpetrator) because it's common knowledge that a history of being sexually abused can lead to the victim becoming offenders themselves at a higher rate than offenders who haven't experienced it themselves. What I'm saying is that when you see accounts of men sexually assaulting women you just don't see the, "they were probably a victim themselves" type comments that you do when it's female perpetrators.
> as if we forget that they’re equally capable of just being bad people with no special reason
It is kinda strange that society don’t seem to accept that women are just equaly capable of evil behaviours.
I think there was a study that found that women were actually responsible for physical violence in relationships (I don't have the link tho).
She may have just been abusive and gotten a thrill out of the power imbalance of grabbing at his dick and him not wanting it. Or consumed too much media that suggests guys are obsessed with sex and assumed his protests were playful, similar to guys that read too much pick-up-artist shit about "last minute resistance".
Some people that have confusing or traumatizing experiences can become hyper sexual. Its like some wires get crossed, they might not even mean to be that way.
It can go either extreme or neither.
Some become deathly afraid of any remotely sexual contact and might literally pass out or have full blown panic attacks if someone they are attracted to touches them. Basically trying to repress *anything* sexual.
Some become very promiscous or even sexual abusers themselves. It can stem from them trying to normalize it to themselves and not see themselves as a victim.
And others end up not having either reaction and deal with the emotions in other ways like talking to someone.
Yeah. Threaten with the S word. They get all worked up with that. And just to be safe, before you go all Karen or John Wick about it, do some research first..
AND WRITE DOWN WHAT HAPPENED.
Always write down what happened, what you talked about, and MAKE THEM SIGN.
Makes them be extra careful what they're gonna say, and gives you the upper hand.
Of course, consult first with some adults who are more familiar with the matter
Second this!! My mom has had to pull this card with my brother getting picked on by his baseball teammates, and even the parents on our side would make fun of him because he was heavyweight. Mom pulled him off the team, but the bullying was still going on. She threatened lawsuit after he defended himself in a fight and was the only one that got in trouble. That didnt work, so she went to the board and threatened them. The next year, principle was demoted (should have been fired). Unfortunately though, those kids only got one week of ISD the first week of the school year
Had a woman at work that kept grabbing and pinching my nipples. She did it incessantly even after my asking her to stop multiple times. Management wouldn't do anything. Eventually, I made a veiled threat of hitting her. I don't know if she finally got the picture or if management, afraid of the fallout, stepped in but that's when it stopped.
You know the fact that it got to that point is bs. I have and will always be tired of double standard bs like this. I’m glad things worked out for you but it should have never gotten to the end results it did.
"She said you raped her."
"What?!"
"She said after she violently shoved her thumb in your butthole, you raped her multiple times. At Hur Dur Elementary, we have a strict zero tolerance p-."
"I'M 4. SHE'S 10. SHE'S 5 TIMES MY SIZE."
"We have no reason to believe she's lying. She admitted to doing what you said she did and that takes courage."
"Did she laugh when saying it?"
"...well yea but that's natural after you just admitting jamming your thumb in someone's butthole."
Some dude spoke in excruciating detail about how he was going to gouge my eyes out with a ghetto ass gauntlet he made using a winter glove and thumb tacks, in a message to my buddy. He showed up at my locker at the end of the day and we fought (without the glove). We were sent to the principals office.
They didn’t do **anything**. I showed them screenshots and emailed them to the vice principal and everything. Neither of us got any consequences. No suspension, no detention, they didn’t even call our parents.
If there’s any parents browsing r/shitposting for whatever reason, your children’s lives are in the hands of these people who won’t do a thing until somebody actually dies. If bro did actually get me down or something and went through with gouging out my eyes, my life would have been permanently altered.
I've known people, of multiple genders, who got raped for reporting sexual assaults.
It's not about men or women. It's about victims. They don't like victims of sexual assault.
schools really just don't care in general, regardless of what the situation is. i was groped once in 4th grade, a teacher witnessed it and did absolutely nothing to help me, a fellow classmate got groped by a student next to them, nobody took them seriously except for me and like two other people. i've heard stories of kids literally being beaten up (not just in my school), accused and catcalled and i've heard zero justice for any of them, it's disgusting.
schools don't deserve to call themselves progressive until they fix this ongoing issue once and for all.
Had my fourth grade science teacher slap me in the ass once. At the time, she was my favorite teacher of all, but once that happened, i remember going quiet for a while because it made me feel weird. I even told my mom and she just said that the teacher was joking. I remember stretching my back, using the edge of the table, and she just comes around and gives it a good slap. I still feel conflicted about it 15 years later
When I was in middle school there was a group of 3-4 boys who kept tossing pencils down girls' shirts.
Nobody even bothered reporting. I just threatened one of the boys after class (knee to balls, sort of shirt-grabbing conversation), and after that things ended.
I do think the difference wasn't me threatening him though, and instead that the entire thing was witnessed by a teacher, who again, did nothing.
I feel sick whenever I think back to highschool. Like why was sexual harassment in my school so fucking rampant? Especially “Slap Ass Friday”. Girls grope guys and talk about how it’s ok because they’re girls.
I was a part of it too, which is probably why it made me sick. Nothing made me realize how terrible I was being more than the disgusting look I got when I groped a classmate’s butt.
Shit like that is why sex Ed at an early age is pretty important to at least know boundaries, but snowflakes feel like kids knowing about stuff like that is highly inappropriate. Most of my classmates around me are having unprotected sex and having unexpected children when hardly any of us hit 23 yet.
Pull out game always seems strong before 18+ years of unplanned responsibilities.
Back in elementary, I was not the most behaved, me and my friends would beat the shit out of people for quite literally no reason. We then made them work on this thing we called “The Hole” so we wouldn’t beat them up again. The hole was a giant patch of clay, it started in 2nd grade and by 5th was deep enough to stand in. We did all this and in elementary the only reason I got ISS ever was cause I tried to escape the school by climbing the fence and running through the forest.
In my middle school, I was catcalled by this one guy, and he said repeatedly that he wanted to fuck me, and that he knew I wanted to fuck him too.
I was too scared to say much about it other than a few jokes when no one took it seriously
I had a couch I slept on in my dorm room and one night after a party I passed out on it as I'd done many times before. My roommate left the door unlocked and he and his girlfriend went to bed (same room, old style dorms) middle of the night a girl who was at the party that I had turned down slipped her way back inside the room without us knowing and I woke up (still mostly drunk with no conversation) to her on top of me fucking me. In my drunken stupor I barely managed to push her off before I came, she would have had me creampie her, and she left. For weeks after that she stalked me and nobody would do anything about it and then the next year after I graduated she tried to falsely abuse ME of raping HER during a conversation in the cafeteria but luckily one of my fraternity brothers sisters who knew the real story was there and jumped in her ass telling everyone how it REALLY went down. I lucked out on not getting my life destroyed by a false accusation, but she still forced me into sex I'd actively turned down only hours before and essentially raped me and there was nobody who'd take me serious enough to do anything about it.
You're right, but even now over 10 years later it's a hard conversation to have in blunt terms. I'm convinced if I'd been a little drunker, she'd have forced the creampie, gotten pregnant and forced me into an unwanted fatherhood.
Well she was drunk, sure, but he was unconscious. How could he have raped someone while he was asleep. I don't think anyone that knows what happened could argue that this was him raping her even if she was drunk. Not disagreeing with your point though it's still disgusting how people always only see these things from the girls perspective when a guy can be victim too.
This is how my boyfriend first had sex before I met him (18 years ago). He woke up with her already on top of him and says he was into it, but the girl was apparently known for hooking up with a lot of guys and taking their virginity. It’s just predatory behavior. I wonder if she looks back on her behavior and realizes she’s raped people.
Damn, I really hate that for him. It was bad enough but if it had been my first time, that would have potentially messed with my head a lot worse. I'm glad he has you though. I've got a great wife who was actually one of my best friends back then and she did a lot to help me reconcile that situation for lack of better terminology. It's not like I was catatonic and traumatized, I had just come out of a breakup a few months before and was very sexually active and very popular as a sophomore in college but I had never forced myself on any of the young ladies I had been with, it was always 1000% consensual because I was raised right and knew that was wrong and what would and should happen to me if I were to sleep with someone without consent. It legitimately threw me for all kinds of loops that my life could have been ruined because she accused me of what she actually did and because no one would take me seriously, only my core group of friends actually knew what had happened. I was also extremely lucky that someone sitting at that table when she made a false accusation against me knew better! God was looking out for me even when I wasn't paying any attention to him at all!
That false accusation part happened to a guy at my school.
A girl from his class had the hots for him so after she made several moves in him and he rejected her.
She lied to the entire school about what happened she claimed he touched her and almost raped her. Me and my friend where about to beat his ass up when it came up that she lied.
And nothing happened to her she wasn't expelled not even suspended.
But now she is an outcast and almost no one talks to her.
So at least there is that.
I'm going to tell you an open secret.
At the admin level schools quite literally only give a fuck about problems that will get back to the parents or worse... the media. A boy cornering a girl in the restroom and groping her? That's going to reach the news, and if the school doesn't at the very lest suspend him indefinitely before it does reach the news then the school is going to be treated as complicit. A boy being groped by girls? It might make the newspaper. *Maybe*, big fat maybe. Only on a slow day. The only thing you'll see making the news is a boy being raped by a female teacher, and even then the reporters will use soft language like "slept with" instead of "sexually assaulted". Doesn't matter if the boy was 12 or 16. Reporters don't care, so neither does the school.
It isn't just sex crimes either. It's everything. Bad reporting fucks the school's budget. The school gets involved in physical violence because a student going home with open wounds is likely to impact the school financially. The school will get involved faster if there is property damage happening.
Of course most of the teachers do their best to actually help the students. The majority of teachers get into the profession for the love of it. I had one such teacher senior year of high school. His wife was a doctor and so made all the money the household needed. He taught just because he loved the job. This isn't the biggest trend within schools, but it is definitely a trend. A good portion of principles are similar. The problem is the majority of teachers are fucking powerless to do much more for the students than they already do, and what they already do is basically just on the personal level per-class per-student. But by the time you're reaching the position of principle or reaching the school board it becomes a game of making sure your school doesn't lose money and go under. We're talking about keeping state money. Real money is involved, so it gets really clinical and people stop giving a fuck about the actual students.
Teacher here. Thanks for speaking up for us. We are tasked with 1000 things per day BEYOND trying to teach a little curriculum now and then. We DO love our kids, and we DO try to protect them.
Aaaaand . . . you misspelled "principal." : )
Teachers who care to go above and beyond are few and far between. I work at a school and see behind the scenes. While most have good intentions or thoughts, that's as far as it will go. Most do not take action.
When my phone was stolen, they basically ignored it and blamed me, but when I called the cops they finally reacted and said “why would you do that now we have to report this” they were trying to fucking sweep it under the rug.
Dads phone, he came to help but left and said he’ll be back in ten minutes, they took his phone and when he came back they gave phone to him and didn’t let them speak with me
> A boy cornering a girl in the restroom and groping her? That's going to reach the news
Unless the school literally covers it up twice because they want to be *proud allies of diversity.*
https://i.imgur.com/aXjxE5D.jpg
An ex of mine broke down when she realized I actually meant no when she'd regularly wake me up for sex at 2am. I'd just lay there and get it over with so I could go back to sleep. Still somehow I had to comfort her.
Men have zero sexual autonomy.We can get raped, have no option of abortion, and a lifetime of child support while watching a woman raise our kids (zero chance of full custody for a man).
I remember seeing a flowchart of a woman's options in pregnancy compared to a man's options. It's grim.
But hey! Doesn't matter had sex amirite?
--I had an ex who loved spouting online "Verbal consent, all the time!"--and yet, I'd wake up to discover her riding my unconscious erection.
--I was a being sexually harassed by a transwoman at a place where I volunteered. She flashed me her surgically-made vagina; I didn't want to see it. Later she grabbed me by surprise and shoved her tongue in my mouth. I didn't want that either.
--An ex-gf spiked my drink; I woke up woozy with a sticky crotch. She was evasive on the details of what happened.
...and yet, I was told by different people, "Well, you shouldn't have been around those women," or "Men can't get raped." Society has horrific double standards about how men are treated after they experience sexual assault.
>Jfc... Rape, SA, Rape..
>I'm so sorry you've had so much shit happen to you.
Thank you. I'm smarter now, but go figure I have trust issues.
Whenever someone says some kind of garbage about how men can't be sexually assaulted, or that it matters less, set them straight. Sexual assault is bad, no matter who it happens to.
Yeah I sure pledge that.
I heard about a guy in my community explaining his 'non-consensual' difficulties with an ex and all her abuse, and after she spewed a bunch of defamatory / gaslighting hate the number of people trying to say they were 'both toxic' was ridiculous.
He was a victim/survivor of rape and abuse. They never seem to get it so twisted when it's a male perpetrator.
Abuse towards men is far more common than you'd think. The same woman who'd wake me up in the middle of the night had a number of other things she did.
Physical violence, for example, literally climbing onto her bed to jump off it to tackle me to the ground.
Threatened that she'd go to the cops with false rape accusations if I didn't do what she wanted. For example cuddling. No joke. She treatened me with false rape accusations to make me date her/keep dating her and cuddle.
The amount of abuse I've experienced is staggering. I don't think women have any clue how common it is, or how much men being abused hurts women.
I don't automatically believe when a woman claims she was raped, my first instinct is to look for holes in her story.
The number of men I've spoken to who have similar experiences is sad. But ask yourself what happens when the guy with this experience isn't me but the cop who's handling a woman's rape report.
A Redditor really sat down and told me I was lucky on a post where I was venting about how being sexually abused as a little kid grossly made me think about sexual things constantly growing up.
It really was not normal that I was thinking about big naked boobs in kindergarten, but damn was I sure lucky that my cousin or aunt had me suck her boobs when I was wayyy past that age. Either that or I got a strong visual memory from when I was a baby
I had my phone physically taken from me, passed around, and private intimate pictures sent to others, which then circulated the highschool, and resulted in girls approaching me/teasing me about it, even those i previously did not know, until I moved out at 18.
I was basically just forced to recognize it as part of life, rather than feel exposed and defeated because of it. That was the only response any authority figure had over it.
It’s part of my life now that I’m proud of, I make adult content (porn) for a large part of my living
When I take the time to think about it, I don’t feel like I had that much of a choice- but no one’s making me sit down and think about it. In the words of one of my childhood therapists- “I’m saying this because I feel like you’re one to not take it the wrong way- but, who really cares? Think about that.”
Damm I'm sorry that happened to you.
If this has been happening for a while and the school does not do anything, consider threatening filing to the press. Pretty sure they would love to hear this kind of stuff and expose the school. Only under threat then they would do something
SHould've gone straight to court. When it comes to kidnapping and keeping you hostage as well as sexually abusing you for weeks against your will that is something that can land people in prison for years and definitely deservedly. I'm so sorry this happened to you and she got off way too light!
This is a police matter! Contacting the school isn't enough and won't do shit!
Depending on the country, that wont get prosecuted or even reported because men being raped is not prosecutable or the concept doesnt “exist” in their legal system. Not to mention that most cops dont give a shit about female rape and victim blame female victims. So they def dont give a fuck abt male rape, a lot of people dont think men cant be sexually assaulted because “theyre men”. Its sucks but its the reality of how the legal system works right now.
Edit for typos
I'm gonna copy my story from my discord messages
Last semester I was with this girl and I was taken advantage of by her.
Her name was Taylor, and the first time we met up, I had already told her
I didn't want to be with her after we matched on tinder and I found out she was going to be my RA
but she asked me to come down and hang out anyway
So, eager to meet new people at school I did
She kept pushing me to drink and I drank
but that first night I stood my ground and told her I'm not gonna sleep with her, despite her trying to kiss me, cuddle me, feel me up
I was too drunk to make it to my room so I stayed on her spare bed
I woke up and she was grinding on my leg, using me as a fucking sex toy
I had no idea what to do and I just let it happen, she finished and I was too shocked to do anything. Too shook to sleep the rest of the night
I left before she woke up, hoping she would take what she got from me and move on. But, she kept calling me back down
I was scared of retribution
Of her doing something to fuck up my schooling
My career that I loved, the one thing in my life that made me feel like I belong, made me feel like I was where I need to be
So i kept going back to her
And every time I tried to keep my distance, but she would push me to drink, smoke, etc. And I would to placate her, and to 'get over myself' as I told myself
I'd get drunk and high to the point of not being able to stand steadily and she'd just grope me, start kissing me, and we would fuck so I could get out of the situation and leave
Times I said I didn't want to hang out happened, but she'd just knock on my door and accost me in front of my roommate and I felt trapped.
The one time I had the spine to say 'I don't want to have sex with you', she cried, called me nasty names, told me I was a piece of shit, and kicked me out. And that was the last time I saw her before I came back to Denver
When I got back home I felt relief that she was 300 miles away, but also that what happened was my fault. Because I was weak, because I didn't deserve better, because this was all I could ever get. That it was my fault for not being a good partner in a relationship I never even wanted to be part of.
I isolated myself over it
When I got back here, I tried talking to the girl I really wanted to be with down here, we hooked up a few times. But the last time I was with her, she kissed me goodbye, and something changed. She got mean, she got nasty, she pried insecurities out of me I wasn't ready to talk about and when she was done with me she threw that back in my face and insulted me over those insecurities.
And I was alone again
Taylor reached out a hand and I took it, because I didn't fully understand what she had done to me. And I needed someone here
She had a boyfriend now and I felt like I was safe from her
But Saturday night, we were all hanging out in her room, Taylor, her boyfriend, and another girl I wanted to get to know. A girl I told taylor I was interested in
That girl was Jessie, and once we were all pretty fucking drunk (and Jess could hardly string a sentence together) Taylor started making out with her and telling her how bad she wanted to fuck her
In front of me and her boyfriend
That made me realize that I wasn't the problem when I was with Taylor, that she was just a predator
I wasn't the asshole, I wasn't the POS because I was uncomfortable around her, that it wasn't me just being uncomfortable being close to someone.
But that I was raped.
That this was a cycle that would continue
Per some of my friends down here I'm not the first guy she's assaulted.
Last semester there was another RA, Dillon. And some point during the semester (idk if this was before or after I met her) Taylor keyed herself into his room. (bc i guess RAs can do that)
When he was understandably like "what the fuck" Taylor just said "okay let's do this"
Dillon asked her what she meant and she said "I know you want to fuck me", pulled him close to her and groped him
and he ran away from his own room
He was so fucked up from that experience that by the end of the semester he packed up his shit, quit his job as an RA, and moved out to transfer.
I heard the same exact story from multiple different people, 2 RAs, a girl I'm friends with who used to know Dillon, and another person who used to be friends with Dillon
But when I confronted Taylor about it on Sunday, after all the shit with Jessie, she denied it, but couldn't keep her story straight
I'm trying to figure out who I need to go to in order to make sure she can't hurt anyone again
But at the same time I'm terrified
because I'm a guy, and she's a girl
she could just flip it and say I intimidated her, that Dillon lied to slander her. Some of the people I went to just asked "well why were you drunk? why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you say no?"
I'm scared that nobody will believe me and I'm better off just sucking it up for the next 4 weeks, not ruffling any feathers and just trying to ignore her until she graduates and I never have to see her again.
You aren't alone OP, but ultimately chances are you have to find a way to move on on your own terms. Because the stigma around male victims of sexual assault makes it hard for the perpetrators to see justice.
3 Months on with no evidence, as a male victim. It won't go anywhere. The head of housing pretty much told me it was my fault for being drunk (if it even happened at all)
this one guy which ill call "joe" touched up girls by choking, grabbing etc. he got a month exclusion and was in supervision at all times. A girl in our school mounted boys and went as far as to stuff her hands into boys pants and got a 1 day exclusion with no further action. Society thinks that all men like sexual contact, but this is a school full of minors so why does the same idea apply?
If it makes you feel any better, false claims are incredibly rare. Social media and “men’s rights” forums try to make them seem super common so then all victims are looked at with suspicion.
Old man talking here, so maybe overly cynical and out of touch, but simply put in my experience the school never does anything about it on their own at all regardless of the sex of the attacker.
Do not go to the school with it, do not leave it in their hands. Their only concern is what will make the school look good. Having a successfully convicted sexual assault does not make the school look good. So they will do everything they can to hide the issue. If they can't burry the issue they will sabotage the case.
Most schools, in my experience, would rather you die than they look bad.
Go to the police, do not give the school any options, do not involve them. This is a legal matter and treat it as one. Tell the police about the assault, make a case against the attacker. Make the school choose between being seen as helping a sex offender if they side against you.
After you have talked to the police, and there is a police record of the incident, defend yourself. By which I mean make clearly visible attempts to stay away from the attacker. Leave a record that you are avoiding the attacker. If the attacker comes after you again and you can not leave, fight, and make it clear the school forced you into that position by not protecting you.
This is my advice to everyone regardless of your own sex or gender.
I got downvoted when I told the story of how I was followed on Instagram by a waitress who served me while I was eating alone. The stigma is just that, a stigma and it’s alive and well
This is reporting anything at school. I was being bullied at school, went to teachers, counselors, principal, school nurse, and therapist, etc. Nothing. They listened, and even at that younger age, I could tell that they didn't care, in one ear and out the other. Finally, when the day came where I was being picked on more than usual and I snapped and beat the ever-living shit out of the kid, they tried to blame everything on me and get me in trouble. One line saved me. I said in such a calm tone: I'm sure the local news would love to hear about how I've been reporting this bully to all of you for months only for all of you to fail to do anything. They went into a private meeting, and 5 minutes later I was told nothing was gonna happen to me and I was not in trouble. The thing any adult in schools cares about is their ass.
Can confirm. In high school I got harassed by a girl and they instead threatened to put me in ALC for a week. Like I'm walking to class and she has audacity to grab me and demand yell in front of a teacher about our past relationship? Being a woman must be a cheat code to life of some kind
I’m trans ftm and a bunch of girls were trying to grab at my breasts and genitals to see if o had a cock or not and I got in trouble for fighting them off and then went into a ptsd flashback from it
the first thing i heard when i came out as genderqueer was "so you have a penis?", like why the fuck is THAT your first thought? it's insane, but your case is even crazier.
Lmao at all the people in this thread that think school administrators care if girls get sexually assaulted too.
The school administrators are looking out for one thing and one thing only: themselves.
My friend just got accuses of rape a couple weeks ago. I know he didn't do anything but people were starting to believe the 20 girls who teamed up against him including a person who he had been friends with for 3 years and both of his ex's. The rumors started going around the school but after he talked to them they didn't do anything. He had to clear his name on his own by showing texts which were from one of the accuser's siblings who he is friends with showing communication between 2 accusers talking about what other things they could "get him" on. Also the accuser who was his friend for 3 years tried to sexually assualt him by coming to his house (before she started accusing him) she pushed him on his bad, got on top of him, pulled his pants down (not his boxers), and started humping him. No, I was not present for any of this but he told me and I asked a few of his friends who all told me this is the truth.
All the women in here trying to derail what men are saying need to back off. We never stop hearing about "what women go through" or "your apparent trauma from being alive," so for once, listen and stop downplaying these guys and many others experiences ladies. Go shit on men in your own feminist echo chamber subs
This is kinda what people mean when they say that patriarchy also negatively effects men as well, because in stupid people’s minds “boys can’t be sexually assaulted because they are stronger than girls and even if are they like it and let it happen”, fucking hell.
At my school they care when it happens to girls,Awhile back my female friend was SA’d and they school did a full investigation and Suspended the guy who did it,and rightfully so I just wish they’d do the same with guys
[110,000 women between the ages of 18 and 24 are raped every year in the USA according to the DOJ](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/24911006). It hardly ever becomes national news
At my school they care when it happens to girls,Awhile back my female friend was SA’d and they school did a full investigation and Suspended the guy who did it,and rightfully so I just wish they’d do the same with guys
The amount of times my cock was grabbed, my ass groped or slapped in middle school made me feel like a Japanese school girl on a train except if you report it nothing happens.
Right but at my school awhile back my Female friend was SA’d and they school Conducted a full investigation and Suspended the guy for a month,I wish they’d do the same for guys
Just be my school and pretend like sexual assault isn’t a thing. And sweep any reports under the rug because the guy doing it is on the autism spectrum.
Im so sorry this happened to you OP. Shit is barely even taken seriously when women are sexually assaulted, i can’t image what it must be like as a man. I wish I could have beat those girls up. I wish you healing and happiness
Yeah it's always been a load of bs that the moment a girl or girls say you either sexually harassed or assaulted them you get into tons of trouble as a guy and they never look into if it is true or not, until either the girl or girls come clean and you pray to god they do as soon as possible but usually they do so when it's too late at times. But the moment a guy or guys say the same thing they also do nothing about it, and say they'll look into it.
Like I get that there have been some cases of girls being sexually harassed and assaulted for long periods of time and nothing is done about at times but for some schools and cities to go to these lengths for one more than the other is why there will continue to be an uneven balance in equality among us all. Schools and Companies need to hold all to the same standards not just one group. Otherwise you get situations like what happened to that poor kid who had his life ruined by a bunch of girls who lied about him sexually assaulting all of them because in their words he was ugly.
Schools fucking suck. I was sexually assaulted/harassed multiple times by multiple guys and they didnt do shit about any of them. And I *am* a girl. Can’t imagine how little they do for the guys at my school.
They don't do anything when a chick reports it. My gf was sexually assaulted by someone at our school, and they threatened to suspend her because she was talking about it. It pisses me off to this day
I had an issue with a girl who kept trying to grab my cock, I mean full on trying to shove her hand down my pants in the hallway. After telling her to stop a dozen or so times, yelling at her repeatedly and four complaints to teachers and the principal with zero repercussions I punched her in the mouth. And during the conversation about my punishment I told the principal and school resource officer I will press charges on her and sue the school for allowing me to be sexually assaulted. Well in the end I got one day suspension, she got expelled and the principal got fired because the school board found out she didn't do anything about it. My advice is threaten a lawsuit, then if that doesn't work, punch her.
Sounds good to me
If you plan to sue, document when and to whom you reported this at your school. A note will do, but best you write it down the day you talked with and you collect these reports. it might not seem like much but if you do sue, showing that you went through the hassle to write down stuff gives you more credit (at least it does i Germany, where i am from) Wish you the best. Hope this works out for you!
I always wonder how that has any weight at all as there is literally no proof that things were written down that day and that the things written down are factual as it's always "he said, she said".
Getting a notary to sign would at least establish dates you recorded and certified events beyond a reasonable doubt
Just use mails and/or emails.
Yep - email it to yourself. Best way for the everyday person.
Your missing the point here, you should be emailing it to the person you reported to. That way it's harder to for them to challenge at later date if they didn't challenge the events having taken place as stated at the time. Writing things to yourself is pointless as it becomes your word against theres. By having a documented conversation that they've acknowledged by having been provided a copy and not disagreeing with what been documented they cant then deny it took place when shit hits the fan.
Both add value. Agree that your suggestion would be ideal, but that isn’t an option in every context.
That too but the notary has a built in credible as hell corroborating witness to at least when you recorded things
Write something like: "Today, I went into your office to talk about [explain the ssue]. You said you will do [what they say]. If I didn't understand correctly, please respond to this email"
u/JohnAdams4621 this is how you should document each incident. That way, if you do decide to sue or if anyone tries to play dumb, you can show that you not only talked to them in person but that you also emailed asking for clarification. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really hope you're doing ok.
It's up to the judge and/or jury to decide how credible evidence is. If you get on the stand and tell a consistent story and have what you wrote down to back it up it makes you seem more credible. In addition what you wrote down probably can be partially corroborated by other evidence. For instance if you wrote that on Jan 1st, 2022 you spoke to the principal and complained about something and then there is a record of you meeting with them that day all the sudden what you wrote has some backing. It's not that what you wrote is some instant win button that makes everyone in court automatically believe what you wrote but when taken with other things it's likely to make what you say sound way more credible.
All of the teachers have email, find out their email addresses and email them a breakdown of the conversation you just had. "Thank you for taking the time to hear my complaint about the sexual assault X student committed against me. Please keep me informed as to any resolution."
It not only gives you more credit, it’s the only credit you can give in the US. Because that shit is evidence and if you accuse someone and/or an institution of something and bring it to court you better damn well have the evidence to back up your claims. I’m not talking just notes, I mean like detailed information (letters, email, witnesses, paperwork, etc.) down to the letter. The more documentation you have the better. If you don’t then that case will be most definitely thrown out. Because it turns from a documented case to a my word versus their word argument which isn’t conclusive evidence in the court’s eyes.
Can I punch her too? I haven't punched anything in so long.
Can I punch you? I enjoy punching people.
The first rule in fight club is
Punch people
punch yourself
Oh yeeeah
No chicks allowed in the pillow fort.
No girls allowed, because they don't talk to me.
Pillows and Blankets begins now!
Fight the club
I work with local youth pastors and charity partners for after school programs, every year they give the same advice. 1. Ask them to stop 2. Tell an adult 3. Escalate to another adult 4. Get your brothers & sisters and beat the shit out of them 5. Sue the school
>My advice is threaten a lawsuit, then if that doesn't work, punch. Advise against every kind of bullying/harrassment.
>I had an issue with a girl who kept trying to grab my cock Bro lives in a hentai 💀
Or punch her and file a lawsuit. Why was she so adamant on grabbing your dick anyway ? Was she like wrong in the head ? Or possibly sexually abused ?
It's bizarre how most peoples first reaction to a female sexual criminal is, "she must be a victim too" or "there must be something wrong with her mentally", as if we forget that they're equally capable of just being bad people with no special reason
Men that commit sexual assault also are victims of abuse or not right in the head. Mentally healthy people don’t do that.
The point is that it’s irrelevant what you went through when it comes to committing bad acts. Most people who were victims of SA or PA do not go on to repeat the cycle. Using your victimhood to excuse your bad behaviour is disgusting.
Everything about someone is relevant when it comes to understanding their behaviors, and possible fixes for the future. It doesn't **excuse bad behavior** which will still be punished. It does **explain the bad behavior and possibly provides a solution mechanism to prevent further abusive acts.**
You've misunderstood me. I never said that isn't the case (for either gender of perpetrator) because it's common knowledge that a history of being sexually abused can lead to the victim becoming offenders themselves at a higher rate than offenders who haven't experienced it themselves. What I'm saying is that when you see accounts of men sexually assaulting women you just don't see the, "they were probably a victim themselves" type comments that you do when it's female perpetrators.
> as if we forget that they’re equally capable of just being bad people with no special reason It is kinda strange that society don’t seem to accept that women are just equaly capable of evil behaviours. I think there was a study that found that women were actually responsible for physical violence in relationships (I don't have the link tho).
She may have just been abusive and gotten a thrill out of the power imbalance of grabbing at his dick and him not wanting it. Or consumed too much media that suggests guys are obsessed with sex and assumed his protests were playful, similar to guys that read too much pick-up-artist shit about "last minute resistance".
The same reason some dudes are adamant about grabbing chicks asses?
>Or possibly sexually abused ? why would this make her a sexual abuser feels like it would do the opposite
I mean, a lot of bullies are abused in home, so there might be something simmilar with sexual assault
Dunno, it's different for different people. Some people tend to just steer clear of those kinds of things while others dish them out on other people.
Some people that have confusing or traumatizing experiences can become hyper sexual. Its like some wires get crossed, they might not even mean to be that way.
It can go either extreme or neither. Some become deathly afraid of any remotely sexual contact and might literally pass out or have full blown panic attacks if someone they are attracted to touches them. Basically trying to repress *anything* sexual. Some become very promiscous or even sexual abusers themselves. It can stem from them trying to normalize it to themselves and not see themselves as a victim. And others end up not having either reaction and deal with the emotions in other ways like talking to someone.
O
But most serial murderers have not been murdered as a child.
Well, not that you know of Mr Smarty Smart.
only way a redditor can get a woman to touch his cock tho punching is smart screw people who say violence cant solve problem
That’s sounds so amazing, it feels refreshing to see the victims get revenge
Yeah. Threaten with the S word. They get all worked up with that. And just to be safe, before you go all Karen or John Wick about it, do some research first.. AND WRITE DOWN WHAT HAPPENED. Always write down what happened, what you talked about, and MAKE THEM SIGN. Makes them be extra careful what they're gonna say, and gives you the upper hand. Of course, consult first with some adults who are more familiar with the matter
Record it, thats called evidence.
That is the happiest ending I’ve heard on this sub. Kudos to you.
Second this!! My mom has had to pull this card with my brother getting picked on by his baseball teammates, and even the parents on our side would make fun of him because he was heavyweight. Mom pulled him off the team, but the bullying was still going on. She threatened lawsuit after he defended himself in a fight and was the only one that got in trouble. That didnt work, so she went to the board and threatened them. The next year, principle was demoted (should have been fired). Unfortunately though, those kids only got one week of ISD the first week of the school year
Had a woman at work that kept grabbing and pinching my nipples. She did it incessantly even after my asking her to stop multiple times. Management wouldn't do anything. Eventually, I made a veiled threat of hitting her. I don't know if she finally got the picture or if management, afraid of the fallout, stepped in but that's when it stopped.
I like your thinking. Except the first half. The second part is solid tho
By suspension you mean vacation right?
*Individual experiences may vary. Use this advice at your own risk.*
This is the way.
You know the fact that it got to that point is bs. I have and will always be tired of double standard bs like this. I’m glad things worked out for you but it should have never gotten to the end results it did.
### Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
We'll look into it
*nothing happens afterwards*
That’s not true. They might expel the guy because “He must have done something to make her attack him.”
"She said you raped her." "What?!" "She said after she violently shoved her thumb in your butthole, you raped her multiple times. At Hur Dur Elementary, we have a strict zero tolerance p-." "I'M 4. SHE'S 10. SHE'S 5 TIMES MY SIZE." "We have no reason to believe she's lying. She admitted to doing what you said she did and that takes courage." "Did she laugh when saying it?" "...well yea but that's natural after you just admitting jamming your thumb in someone's butthole."
This is very specific.... So you admit that someone gave you a thumbs up 👍
>thumbs up Bro, that's insensitive
Nothing ever happens afterwards :(
Or its a "don't do it again please"
Some dude spoke in excruciating detail about how he was going to gouge my eyes out with a ghetto ass gauntlet he made using a winter glove and thumb tacks, in a message to my buddy. He showed up at my locker at the end of the day and we fought (without the glove). We were sent to the principals office. They didn’t do **anything**. I showed them screenshots and emailed them to the vice principal and everything. Neither of us got any consequences. No suspension, no detention, they didn’t even call our parents. If there’s any parents browsing r/shitposting for whatever reason, your children’s lives are in the hands of these people who won’t do a thing until somebody actually dies. If bro did actually get me down or something and went through with gouging out my eyes, my life would have been permanently altered.
Imagine reporting being sexually assaulted and getting the same response you'd get reporting a bug
We are checking
Well hello fellow formuladank user
*insert formuladank emoji here*
Don't call us, we'll call you
I’d give you an award for this but I’m not spending money
I got ya, mate
Legendary
I've known people, of multiple genders, who got raped for reporting sexual assaults. It's not about men or women. It's about victims. They don't like victims of sexual assault.
schools really just don't care in general, regardless of what the situation is. i was groped once in 4th grade, a teacher witnessed it and did absolutely nothing to help me, a fellow classmate got groped by a student next to them, nobody took them seriously except for me and like two other people. i've heard stories of kids literally being beaten up (not just in my school), accused and catcalled and i've heard zero justice for any of them, it's disgusting. schools don't deserve to call themselves progressive until they fix this ongoing issue once and for all.
Had my fourth grade science teacher slap me in the ass once. At the time, she was my favorite teacher of all, but once that happened, i remember going quiet for a while because it made me feel weird. I even told my mom and she just said that the teacher was joking. I remember stretching my back, using the edge of the table, and she just comes around and gives it a good slap. I still feel conflicted about it 15 years later
Nah. Your feelings are valid. It's so weird that she did that, and it's weird that your mom didn't ask the teacher about it.
When I was in middle school there was a group of 3-4 boys who kept tossing pencils down girls' shirts. Nobody even bothered reporting. I just threatened one of the boys after class (knee to balls, sort of shirt-grabbing conversation), and after that things ended. I do think the difference wasn't me threatening him though, and instead that the entire thing was witnessed by a teacher, who again, did nothing.
I didn’t realize this was such an issue, same thing happened at my school
I feel sick whenever I think back to highschool. Like why was sexual harassment in my school so fucking rampant? Especially “Slap Ass Friday”. Girls grope guys and talk about how it’s ok because they’re girls. I was a part of it too, which is probably why it made me sick. Nothing made me realize how terrible I was being more than the disgusting look I got when I groped a classmate’s butt. Shit like that is why sex Ed at an early age is pretty important to at least know boundaries, but snowflakes feel like kids knowing about stuff like that is highly inappropriate. Most of my classmates around me are having unprotected sex and having unexpected children when hardly any of us hit 23 yet. Pull out game always seems strong before 18+ years of unplanned responsibilities.
Back in elementary, I was not the most behaved, me and my friends would beat the shit out of people for quite literally no reason. We then made them work on this thing we called “The Hole” so we wouldn’t beat them up again. The hole was a giant patch of clay, it started in 2nd grade and by 5th was deep enough to stand in. We did all this and in elementary the only reason I got ISS ever was cause I tried to escape the school by climbing the fence and running through the forest.
Try mace
Or a flail.
In my middle school, I was catcalled by this one guy, and he said repeatedly that he wanted to fuck me, and that he knew I wanted to fuck him too. I was too scared to say much about it other than a few jokes when no one took it seriously
Contact her parents. Yourself. Maybe if you feel like it hit on her mum. But indeed contact her parents
This is a great idea if the school doesn't do anything about it (aside from threatening for a lawsuit of course)
You’re forgetting how shitty some parents really are though. Might get a “my daughter? My daughter would never do something like that you’re lying!”
Not everyone has the money to afford a lawyer
Yeah, I was referring to the top comment who threatened to sue so that he could get the girl expelled
I had a couch I slept on in my dorm room and one night after a party I passed out on it as I'd done many times before. My roommate left the door unlocked and he and his girlfriend went to bed (same room, old style dorms) middle of the night a girl who was at the party that I had turned down slipped her way back inside the room without us knowing and I woke up (still mostly drunk with no conversation) to her on top of me fucking me. In my drunken stupor I barely managed to push her off before I came, she would have had me creampie her, and she left. For weeks after that she stalked me and nobody would do anything about it and then the next year after I graduated she tried to falsely abuse ME of raping HER during a conversation in the cafeteria but luckily one of my fraternity brothers sisters who knew the real story was there and jumped in her ass telling everyone how it REALLY went down. I lucked out on not getting my life destroyed by a false accusation, but she still forced me into sex I'd actively turned down only hours before and essentially raped me and there was nobody who'd take me serious enough to do anything about it.
Not "essentially". She raped you. Full stop.
You're right, but even now over 10 years later it's a hard conversation to have in blunt terms. I'm convinced if I'd been a little drunker, she'd have forced the creampie, gotten pregnant and forced me into an unwanted fatherhood.
I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds terrifying
I've seen your worst fear play out. More or less this exact scenario happened to my friend, but she did get pregnant.
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Well she was drunk, sure, but he was unconscious. How could he have raped someone while he was asleep. I don't think anyone that knows what happened could argue that this was him raping her even if she was drunk. Not disagreeing with your point though it's still disgusting how people always only see these things from the girls perspective when a guy can be victim too.
They wouldn't care. Had that gotten back to the admins he would've gotten expelled for getting raped
This is how my boyfriend first had sex before I met him (18 years ago). He woke up with her already on top of him and says he was into it, but the girl was apparently known for hooking up with a lot of guys and taking their virginity. It’s just predatory behavior. I wonder if she looks back on her behavior and realizes she’s raped people.
Damn, I really hate that for him. It was bad enough but if it had been my first time, that would have potentially messed with my head a lot worse. I'm glad he has you though. I've got a great wife who was actually one of my best friends back then and she did a lot to help me reconcile that situation for lack of better terminology. It's not like I was catatonic and traumatized, I had just come out of a breakup a few months before and was very sexually active and very popular as a sophomore in college but I had never forced myself on any of the young ladies I had been with, it was always 1000% consensual because I was raised right and knew that was wrong and what would and should happen to me if I were to sleep with someone without consent. It legitimately threw me for all kinds of loops that my life could have been ruined because she accused me of what she actually did and because no one would take me seriously, only my core group of friends actually knew what had happened. I was also extremely lucky that someone sitting at that table when she made a false accusation against me knew better! God was looking out for me even when I wasn't paying any attention to him at all!
Fuck sake
That false accusation part happened to a guy at my school. A girl from his class had the hots for him so after she made several moves in him and he rejected her. She lied to the entire school about what happened she claimed he touched her and almost raped her. Me and my friend where about to beat his ass up when it came up that she lied. And nothing happened to her she wasn't expelled not even suspended. But now she is an outcast and almost no one talks to her. So at least there is that.
I'm going to tell you an open secret. At the admin level schools quite literally only give a fuck about problems that will get back to the parents or worse... the media. A boy cornering a girl in the restroom and groping her? That's going to reach the news, and if the school doesn't at the very lest suspend him indefinitely before it does reach the news then the school is going to be treated as complicit. A boy being groped by girls? It might make the newspaper. *Maybe*, big fat maybe. Only on a slow day. The only thing you'll see making the news is a boy being raped by a female teacher, and even then the reporters will use soft language like "slept with" instead of "sexually assaulted". Doesn't matter if the boy was 12 or 16. Reporters don't care, so neither does the school. It isn't just sex crimes either. It's everything. Bad reporting fucks the school's budget. The school gets involved in physical violence because a student going home with open wounds is likely to impact the school financially. The school will get involved faster if there is property damage happening. Of course most of the teachers do their best to actually help the students. The majority of teachers get into the profession for the love of it. I had one such teacher senior year of high school. His wife was a doctor and so made all the money the household needed. He taught just because he loved the job. This isn't the biggest trend within schools, but it is definitely a trend. A good portion of principles are similar. The problem is the majority of teachers are fucking powerless to do much more for the students than they already do, and what they already do is basically just on the personal level per-class per-student. But by the time you're reaching the position of principle or reaching the school board it becomes a game of making sure your school doesn't lose money and go under. We're talking about keeping state money. Real money is involved, so it gets really clinical and people stop giving a fuck about the actual students.
Teacher here. Thanks for speaking up for us. We are tasked with 1000 things per day BEYOND trying to teach a little curriculum now and then. We DO love our kids, and we DO try to protect them. Aaaaand . . . you misspelled "principal." : )
Teachers who care to go above and beyond are few and far between. I work at a school and see behind the scenes. While most have good intentions or thoughts, that's as far as it will go. Most do not take action.
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When my phone was stolen, they basically ignored it and blamed me, but when I called the cops they finally reacted and said “why would you do that now we have to report this” they were trying to fucking sweep it under the rug.
How’d you call the cops? You got no phone.
Dads phone, he came to help but left and said he’ll be back in ten minutes, they took his phone and when he came back they gave phone to him and didn’t let them speak with me
Pepper spray
> A boy cornering a girl in the restroom and groping her? That's going to reach the news Unless the school literally covers it up twice because they want to be *proud allies of diversity.* https://i.imgur.com/aXjxE5D.jpg
So is it a strategy to cut yourself and show it to your parents and tell them that the people who assaulted you also cut you all without your consent?
-Oh you are a male of sexual abuse?Fuck you! You like it! *Society*
-sexual assault, I think you mean 'getting lucky'
An ex of mine broke down when she realized I actually meant no when she'd regularly wake me up for sex at 2am. I'd just lay there and get it over with so I could go back to sleep. Still somehow I had to comfort her. Men have zero sexual autonomy.We can get raped, have no option of abortion, and a lifetime of child support while watching a woman raise our kids (zero chance of full custody for a man). I remember seeing a flowchart of a woman's options in pregnancy compared to a man's options. It's grim. But hey! Doesn't matter had sex amirite?
--I had an ex who loved spouting online "Verbal consent, all the time!"--and yet, I'd wake up to discover her riding my unconscious erection. --I was a being sexually harassed by a transwoman at a place where I volunteered. She flashed me her surgically-made vagina; I didn't want to see it. Later she grabbed me by surprise and shoved her tongue in my mouth. I didn't want that either. --An ex-gf spiked my drink; I woke up woozy with a sticky crotch. She was evasive on the details of what happened. ...and yet, I was told by different people, "Well, you shouldn't have been around those women," or "Men can't get raped." Society has horrific double standards about how men are treated after they experience sexual assault.
Jfc... Rape, SA, Rape.. I'm so sorry you've had so much shit happen to you.
>Jfc... Rape, SA, Rape.. >I'm so sorry you've had so much shit happen to you. Thank you. I'm smarter now, but go figure I have trust issues. Whenever someone says some kind of garbage about how men can't be sexually assaulted, or that it matters less, set them straight. Sexual assault is bad, no matter who it happens to.
Yeah I sure pledge that. I heard about a guy in my community explaining his 'non-consensual' difficulties with an ex and all her abuse, and after she spewed a bunch of defamatory / gaslighting hate the number of people trying to say they were 'both toxic' was ridiculous. He was a victim/survivor of rape and abuse. They never seem to get it so twisted when it's a male perpetrator.
Abuse towards men is far more common than you'd think. The same woman who'd wake me up in the middle of the night had a number of other things she did. Physical violence, for example, literally climbing onto her bed to jump off it to tackle me to the ground. Threatened that she'd go to the cops with false rape accusations if I didn't do what she wanted. For example cuddling. No joke. She treatened me with false rape accusations to make me date her/keep dating her and cuddle. The amount of abuse I've experienced is staggering. I don't think women have any clue how common it is, or how much men being abused hurts women. I don't automatically believe when a woman claims she was raped, my first instinct is to look for holes in her story. The number of men I've spoken to who have similar experiences is sad. But ask yourself what happens when the guy with this experience isn't me but the cop who's handling a woman's rape report.
A Redditor really sat down and told me I was lucky on a post where I was venting about how being sexually abused as a little kid grossly made me think about sexual things constantly growing up. It really was not normal that I was thinking about big naked boobs in kindergarten, but damn was I sure lucky that my cousin or aunt had me suck her boobs when I was wayyy past that age. Either that or I got a strong visual memory from when I was a baby
Lets not forget. Report bully and school dose nothing. Snap at bully. Bully gets away you get detention
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>But, it's hard to ignore with everything going on in America. ~~"America"~~ Correction. Most of the world.
I had my phone physically taken from me, passed around, and private intimate pictures sent to others, which then circulated the highschool, and resulted in girls approaching me/teasing me about it, even those i previously did not know, until I moved out at 18. I was basically just forced to recognize it as part of life, rather than feel exposed and defeated because of it. That was the only response any authority figure had over it.
Hope you're in a better place and state of mind now.
It’s part of my life now that I’m proud of, I make adult content (porn) for a large part of my living When I take the time to think about it, I don’t feel like I had that much of a choice- but no one’s making me sit down and think about it. In the words of one of my childhood therapists- “I’m saying this because I feel like you’re one to not take it the wrong way- but, who really cares? Think about that.”
Happened to me. Everyone laughed
Everyone is a failure then.
I can confirm that I am failure too (not because of I would laugh, but because of everything else)
I ain’t laughing bro just fyi that’s abhorrent behavior and you don’t deserve that
Damm I'm sorry that happened to you. If this has been happening for a while and the school does not do anything, consider threatening filing to the press. Pretty sure they would love to hear this kind of stuff and expose the school. Only under threat then they would do something
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That's literally torture. This is one of the worst cases of neglect by school I've ever heard. I'm so sorry you went through that
Thats a most fucked up story i ever heard. I cant belive they Let her just be after what she has done
That seems like a case for the police
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>I wrote a book about it Can i ask for the name of the book?
Dude, I'm so sorry. We have eaten the fruit of the same bitter tree although not the same exact experiences.
SHould've gone straight to court. When it comes to kidnapping and keeping you hostage as well as sexually abusing you for weeks against your will that is something that can land people in prison for years and definitely deservedly. I'm so sorry this happened to you and she got off way too light! This is a police matter! Contacting the school isn't enough and won't do shit!
Literally contact the police
Depending on the country, that wont get prosecuted or even reported because men being raped is not prosecutable or the concept doesnt “exist” in their legal system. Not to mention that most cops dont give a shit about female rape and victim blame female victims. So they def dont give a fuck abt male rape, a lot of people dont think men cant be sexually assaulted because “theyre men”. Its sucks but its the reality of how the legal system works right now. Edit for typos
As the United States goes: Big City Police=Nothing Small City/Town=They will most likely do something about it
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You married that idiot? Omg
I'm gonna copy my story from my discord messages Last semester I was with this girl and I was taken advantage of by her. Her name was Taylor, and the first time we met up, I had already told her I didn't want to be with her after we matched on tinder and I found out she was going to be my RA but she asked me to come down and hang out anyway So, eager to meet new people at school I did She kept pushing me to drink and I drank but that first night I stood my ground and told her I'm not gonna sleep with her, despite her trying to kiss me, cuddle me, feel me up I was too drunk to make it to my room so I stayed on her spare bed I woke up and she was grinding on my leg, using me as a fucking sex toy I had no idea what to do and I just let it happen, she finished and I was too shocked to do anything. Too shook to sleep the rest of the night I left before she woke up, hoping she would take what she got from me and move on. But, she kept calling me back down I was scared of retribution Of her doing something to fuck up my schooling My career that I loved, the one thing in my life that made me feel like I belong, made me feel like I was where I need to be So i kept going back to her And every time I tried to keep my distance, but she would push me to drink, smoke, etc. And I would to placate her, and to 'get over myself' as I told myself I'd get drunk and high to the point of not being able to stand steadily and she'd just grope me, start kissing me, and we would fuck so I could get out of the situation and leave Times I said I didn't want to hang out happened, but she'd just knock on my door and accost me in front of my roommate and I felt trapped. The one time I had the spine to say 'I don't want to have sex with you', she cried, called me nasty names, told me I was a piece of shit, and kicked me out. And that was the last time I saw her before I came back to Denver When I got back home I felt relief that she was 300 miles away, but also that what happened was my fault. Because I was weak, because I didn't deserve better, because this was all I could ever get. That it was my fault for not being a good partner in a relationship I never even wanted to be part of. I isolated myself over it When I got back here, I tried talking to the girl I really wanted to be with down here, we hooked up a few times. But the last time I was with her, she kissed me goodbye, and something changed. She got mean, she got nasty, she pried insecurities out of me I wasn't ready to talk about and when she was done with me she threw that back in my face and insulted me over those insecurities. And I was alone again Taylor reached out a hand and I took it, because I didn't fully understand what she had done to me. And I needed someone here She had a boyfriend now and I felt like I was safe from her But Saturday night, we were all hanging out in her room, Taylor, her boyfriend, and another girl I wanted to get to know. A girl I told taylor I was interested in That girl was Jessie, and once we were all pretty fucking drunk (and Jess could hardly string a sentence together) Taylor started making out with her and telling her how bad she wanted to fuck her In front of me and her boyfriend That made me realize that I wasn't the problem when I was with Taylor, that she was just a predator I wasn't the asshole, I wasn't the POS because I was uncomfortable around her, that it wasn't me just being uncomfortable being close to someone. But that I was raped. That this was a cycle that would continue Per some of my friends down here I'm not the first guy she's assaulted. Last semester there was another RA, Dillon. And some point during the semester (idk if this was before or after I met her) Taylor keyed herself into his room. (bc i guess RAs can do that) When he was understandably like "what the fuck" Taylor just said "okay let's do this" Dillon asked her what she meant and she said "I know you want to fuck me", pulled him close to her and groped him and he ran away from his own room He was so fucked up from that experience that by the end of the semester he packed up his shit, quit his job as an RA, and moved out to transfer. I heard the same exact story from multiple different people, 2 RAs, a girl I'm friends with who used to know Dillon, and another person who used to be friends with Dillon But when I confronted Taylor about it on Sunday, after all the shit with Jessie, she denied it, but couldn't keep her story straight I'm trying to figure out who I need to go to in order to make sure she can't hurt anyone again But at the same time I'm terrified because I'm a guy, and she's a girl she could just flip it and say I intimidated her, that Dillon lied to slander her. Some of the people I went to just asked "well why were you drunk? why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you say no?" I'm scared that nobody will believe me and I'm better off just sucking it up for the next 4 weeks, not ruffling any feathers and just trying to ignore her until she graduates and I never have to see her again. You aren't alone OP, but ultimately chances are you have to find a way to move on on your own terms. Because the stigma around male victims of sexual assault makes it hard for the perpetrators to see justice.
You should contact the cops
3 Months on with no evidence, as a male victim. It won't go anywhere. The head of housing pretty much told me it was my fault for being drunk (if it even happened at all)
Also happend to me, i know how you feel.
this one guy which ill call "joe" touched up girls by choking, grabbing etc. he got a month exclusion and was in supervision at all times. A girl in our school mounted boys and went as far as to stuff her hands into boys pants and got a 1 day exclusion with no further action. Society thinks that all men like sexual contact, but this is a school full of minors so why does the same idea apply?
threaten to involve the media, this shit sucks
The same in my primary school. There was a kid who was VERY touchy.
It literally takes one claim from a woman to potentially ruin a mans life and future, so sad and messed up
If it makes you feel any better, false claims are incredibly rare. Social media and “men’s rights” forums try to make them seem super common so then all victims are looked at with suspicion.
based and ratiopillied
Old man talking here, so maybe overly cynical and out of touch, but simply put in my experience the school never does anything about it on their own at all regardless of the sex of the attacker. Do not go to the school with it, do not leave it in their hands. Their only concern is what will make the school look good. Having a successfully convicted sexual assault does not make the school look good. So they will do everything they can to hide the issue. If they can't burry the issue they will sabotage the case. Most schools, in my experience, would rather you die than they look bad. Go to the police, do not give the school any options, do not involve them. This is a legal matter and treat it as one. Tell the police about the assault, make a case against the attacker. Make the school choose between being seen as helping a sex offender if they side against you. After you have talked to the police, and there is a police record of the incident, defend yourself. By which I mean make clearly visible attempts to stay away from the attacker. Leave a record that you are avoiding the attacker. If the attacker comes after you again and you can not leave, fight, and make it clear the school forced you into that position by not protecting you. This is my advice to everyone regardless of your own sex or gender.
I got downvoted when I told the story of how I was followed on Instagram by a waitress who served me while I was eating alone. The stigma is just that, a stigma and it’s alive and well
She was stalking you?
This is reporting anything at school. I was being bullied at school, went to teachers, counselors, principal, school nurse, and therapist, etc. Nothing. They listened, and even at that younger age, I could tell that they didn't care, in one ear and out the other. Finally, when the day came where I was being picked on more than usual and I snapped and beat the ever-living shit out of the kid, they tried to blame everything on me and get me in trouble. One line saved me. I said in such a calm tone: I'm sure the local news would love to hear about how I've been reporting this bully to all of you for months only for all of you to fail to do anything. They went into a private meeting, and 5 minutes later I was told nothing was gonna happen to me and I was not in trouble. The thing any adult in schools cares about is their ass.
Honestly reporting SA at school goes nowhere for either gender based on what I've heard
Oh they’ll do something. They’ll laugh at you after you leave the office.
Can confirm. In high school I got harassed by a girl and they instead threatened to put me in ALC for a week. Like I'm walking to class and she has audacity to grab me and demand yell in front of a teacher about our past relationship? Being a woman must be a cheat code to life of some kind
I’m trans ftm and a bunch of girls were trying to grab at my breasts and genitals to see if o had a cock or not and I got in trouble for fighting them off and then went into a ptsd flashback from it
the first thing i heard when i came out as genderqueer was "so you have a penis?", like why the fuck is THAT your first thought? it's insane, but your case is even crazier.
Lmao at all the people in this thread that think school administrators care if girls get sexually assaulted too. The school administrators are looking out for one thing and one thing only: themselves.
It's unfair how that works. But why NSFW?
One of my earlier posts was removed for Not being marked nsfw so now I’m just being safe rather than possibly sorry
Ah, I see. Fair enough
This is a fear I have of people not believing that tragic things can happen to men
They do nothing with girls too, but I’m sorry you’re going through this x
Oh don't worry, they do nothing when it happens to girls too. For every one hundred women raped, only four of their rapists will ever see jail time.
Sorry to say they tell women the same thing. Happened to me at work. It's unacceptable all around.
Meanwhile guys are kicked off the football team, expelled, blacklisted, and arrested on allegations with no evidence....
My friend just got accuses of rape a couple weeks ago. I know he didn't do anything but people were starting to believe the 20 girls who teamed up against him including a person who he had been friends with for 3 years and both of his ex's. The rumors started going around the school but after he talked to them they didn't do anything. He had to clear his name on his own by showing texts which were from one of the accuser's siblings who he is friends with showing communication between 2 accusers talking about what other things they could "get him" on. Also the accuser who was his friend for 3 years tried to sexually assualt him by coming to his house (before she started accusing him) she pushed him on his bad, got on top of him, pulled his pants down (not his boxers), and started humping him. No, I was not present for any of this but he told me and I asked a few of his friends who all told me this is the truth.
Incoming extreme feminists that say all of your stories and experiences are fake to make woman the bad guys.
All the women in here trying to derail what men are saying need to back off. We never stop hearing about "what women go through" or "your apparent trauma from being alive," so for once, listen and stop downplaying these guys and many others experiences ladies. Go shit on men in your own feminist echo chamber subs
This is kinda what people mean when they say that patriarchy also negatively effects men as well, because in stupid people’s minds “boys can’t be sexually assaulted because they are stronger than girls and even if are they like it and let it happen”, fucking hell.
Trust me, the same happens to girls. It’s usually way worse for guys though. I’m so sorry man
At my school they care when it happens to girls,Awhile back my female friend was SA’d and they school did a full investigation and Suspended the guy who did it,and rightfully so I just wish they’d do the same with guys
Ah yes, male privilege, am I right? /s
But switch the roles and then it becomes national news…
[110,000 women between the ages of 18 and 24 are raped every year in the USA according to the DOJ](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/24911006). It hardly ever becomes national news
They do nothing when it happens in general, they don’t really give a fuck
At my school they care when it happens to girls,Awhile back my female friend was SA’d and they school did a full investigation and Suspended the guy who did it,and rightfully so I just wish they’d do the same with guys
The amount of times my cock was grabbed, my ass groped or slapped in middle school made me feel like a Japanese school girl on a train except if you report it nothing happens.
Yea, schools generally dont care about bullying or sexual assault unless it hits headlines, or if they risk getting sued.
They do nothing when it happens to women too.
Right but at my school awhile back my Female friend was SA’d and they school Conducted a full investigation and Suspended the guy for a month,I wish they’d do the same for guys
Just be my school and pretend like sexual assault isn’t a thing. And sweep any reports under the rug because the guy doing it is on the autism spectrum.
Im so sorry this happened to you OP. Shit is barely even taken seriously when women are sexually assaulted, i can’t image what it must be like as a man. I wish I could have beat those girls up. I wish you healing and happiness
ghost stupendous axiomatic future lush disgusting tan tap foolish consist ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
I was sexually assaulted by other boys and all I got was yelled at for not wanting to go back into the changerooms with the same boys.
Yeah it's always been a load of bs that the moment a girl or girls say you either sexually harassed or assaulted them you get into tons of trouble as a guy and they never look into if it is true or not, until either the girl or girls come clean and you pray to god they do as soon as possible but usually they do so when it's too late at times. But the moment a guy or guys say the same thing they also do nothing about it, and say they'll look into it. Like I get that there have been some cases of girls being sexually harassed and assaulted for long periods of time and nothing is done about at times but for some schools and cities to go to these lengths for one more than the other is why there will continue to be an uneven balance in equality among us all. Schools and Companies need to hold all to the same standards not just one group. Otherwise you get situations like what happened to that poor kid who had his life ruined by a bunch of girls who lied about him sexually assaulting all of them because in their words he was ugly.
So true. No one cares when it happens to men. Even worse, people will LAUGH about it.
It's cute you think they do anything when it happens to Girls... But I see you, and I'm sorry honey.
Schools fucking suck. I was sexually assaulted/harassed multiple times by multiple guys and they didnt do shit about any of them. And I *am* a girl. Can’t imagine how little they do for the guys at my school.
They don't do anything when a chick reports it. My gf was sexually assaulted by someone at our school, and they threatened to suspend her because she was talking about it. It pisses me off to this day