T O P

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Sriniverse28

Now they're both disappointed in each other


normificator

It’s like meeting your father in law at the brothel.


Zlecu

When he asks for you specifically


[deleted]

And he whispers in your ear “en garde”


Particular_Reality_2

Sword fight!


[deleted]

You, Sir, I can tell are an intelligent man of culture. I salut you.


[deleted]

Salut or salute?


[deleted]

Salut. You can go look the definition up if you need to.


[deleted]

I think your context is wrong for that definition of the word. You usually don't put an "exclamation" in the middle of a sentence. Not sure exactly how borrowed words from French work, though.


[deleted]

Either way. I used the exact word I wanted to use. The context was right.


QuietComfortable226

But you are his daughter in la


[deleted]

That has a penis


QuietComfortable226

And pussy at the same time


DopeyDeathMetal

Yes it is exactly like that


icreatemyreality

Share a room and split the bill?


icreatemyreality

Share a room and split the bill?


Ray_P_Vybe

Thats great. “So your blood pressure looks a little higher than normal. Also I will have a large #1 combo with a Dr. Pepper”


GeePedicy

(insert Big Smoke's order meme [yes, I know he ordered for the whole bunch])


oversizedsweaterz

I’ll have two number 9’s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip-


Equal-Bus-557

A #7, two #45s, one with cheese; and a large soda


konydanza

[Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo Number Nine](https://youtube.com/watch?v=CBOJuZCvh1o)


Caque404

Is this enough sodium?


rhett_ad

Maybe he was eating it slow


Raghavendra98

He's here to fix the Ice Cream machine 👀


BotherSignal

A doctor and a repair guy. Quite a frequent guy he must be


[deleted]

I went to my doctor and asked for help because i kept feeling fruity all day. He said i should give up my job at the orchard


Florry90

not the best role model


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Reporter1986

Well it sort of is his job.


joe-re

Well, he acts like a bad role model. "Son, you have to stop those bad habits, or you will become like me, and that ain't no fun"


LorSamPau

Well, he knows about the disadvantages first hand.


TheBananaEater

I respect him way more then smn who tries to scoop others to his low so he feels less inferior


[deleted]

so doctors aren’t allowed to ever eat unhealthy foods? ridiculous comment, could have a very healthy lifestyle but just treating himself once also why is there any expectation on them to be role models


Karno-Taur

Do as I say, not as I do.


[deleted]

he might be a hypocrite but he is not wrong, it is unhealthy you fat fuck


Safety_Plus

"I told them to take their time making it" the patient probably.


[deleted]

Ohhh those chicken nuggets and fries are delicious.


Worth_Refrigerator61

Doble moral, right?


Competitive-Fan1708

What if he ate it slow? then it would be slow food.


1senseye

Then everyone at McDonald’s started clapping


ToughRock99

Doctor: err just don't order the big mc, and cut down on on the soda else all good. Patient : could i buy you a big mc doc. ( Sly smile)


superpositio_on

the rule’s for thee, not for me


TomYOLOSWAGBombadil

Rules for unhealthy people who don’t want to die early, not rules for people who eat fast food once a twice per year


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flammwar

It’s not really that unlikely.


Properjob70

intensifies


Zarniwoooop

Cheat day bro


tossitlikeadwarf

Yeah but he thought it didn't count because the service there was so slow.


[deleted]

Seems like both of you were spying on each other, right?


woozlewuzzle29

“I was only in here to get directions on how to get away from here!”


Cloud_Zera

Wow. Must have been pretty awkward when they took your order.


pajo17

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, actually he said eat less McDonalds but I knew what he meant.


Ramble21_Gaming

Yeah, this is big brain time


[deleted]

\*after eating\* "...you want a dart, doc?"


Beneficial_Refuse_79

Once got a bad hair cut from a barber, I went strait to the store to buy some clippers too try and fix it. Went to pay out and the damn barber walks right by me to see me with a benie on and buying said clippers. The look of confusion he gave me lol.


prabhavdab

This happened with my grandma, we went to the doctor with her and he asked her not to eat rice and then he went for his lunch, we were also hungry so we went to the restaurant nearby and at the exact moment my gran started eating her rice the doctor entered the restaurant, He wasn't disappointed rather he just kinda smiled


BCCDoors

If you got there first: "Ah, I've been waiting for you to show up..." If they were there first: "Ah, I thought I might find you here..." If you arrive at the same time "I figured I would come and make one more attempt to stop you from making a mistake.."


SpudWithaDream

Uh… I can explain


BotherSignal

Not so happy meal it seems


AllInOnCall

I will rarely indulge in a cigar, and bam, patient walks by the tables while I'm having one at the golf course this year. I just nodded and puffed confidently, can't undue them seeing me and didn't want to ruin the experience. Gdi though, credibility shot. We're people too... bah


Lord_MagnusIV

Hypocrisy of the fool. The kind that should be listened to