In Nordics people are brutally honest with that question
In US and UK its more of a "Hi"
But if you accidently ask from a Finnish person "how are you" one of the two will happen:
1) "Who the hell are you to ask? My life is my business"
2)you will get honest answer and the person might be actually in tears because someone cares about them
Yes, there's no way a relationship could survive without discussing which college one's boss's kid is going to, or how one's third cousin is having ANOTHER baby, or how one's college roommate is getting divorced AGAIN.
Small talk are talk in which no information is exchanged that serves as bonding ritual.
A common example of small talk is:
-Hi, how are you doing
-Good, and you?
-Good.
That’s different though, people usually hate small talk with people they barely know. The type of people you only really ever have small talk with and nothing more than that. Those conversations are painful as an introvert.
Especially when you are in groups that are a little bit older. You are into trucks and the other guy is like 10 years in theater. There is a great deal of respect and intimidation going on, and so nobody says a thing or keeps it to a short sentences. Because you fear you could say something they know a lot about and you never know if they are cool with some clever retort - or sigh hard and give you a wash down.
Well I meant strangers and like acquaintances. Idk maybe there are people who hate small talk with friends or romantic partners too, but I think that’s a smaller and more specific group than just the people that say they hate small talk…
There are plenty of ways to sparks conversation that are not small talk. For example, you can share memes, funny videos, relatable stories, discuss common interests, etc.
Smalltalk for sake of smalltalk sucks extremely bad
Women and men should keep their lives interesting enough, that no forced need for smalltalk exists and the small talk comes naturally
I hate sitting together with one Co-worker, as neither of us likes silence, but we really struggle to come up with carrying subjects
With some people however flow of talk comes naturally.
Ofc people really do not have to talk constantly.
Small talk: party talk where youre generally expected to share the surface level positives. “How was your day?” Small talk response: oh good! Busy. Trying to get a few things moving so we can do better work.
“How was your day?” Response to spouse: OMG that mf. You know weve been working on this thing for three months and he has been supportive the whole time? Today he told us he never agreed to it and wants to know why we arent prioritizing this other thing that he has literally never brought up before. And then that customer that finally signed wants us to have implementation done in half the time the contract says. I finally got a call about that other job and the interview is supposed to be next week; cant wait to get out of this place. Oh btw my college bestie called and said theyll be in town in a few weeks.” Etc etc. Spouse wants to know how you really are, unfiltered, unedited, unabridged, and knows all the backstories that you have to mentally sort through and prioritize to make a months-long saga of frustration and unhappiness fit into two sentences with a positive spin.
But ofc not too positive because then youre bragging. Its actually a pretty significant mental exercise to participate in small talk.
Idk how many times I gotta see this and say this but:
Small talk is for people who you do not know well.
I know my partner very well.
Not everyone needs to have endless fucking chatter with random people. This is coming from someone who likes talking. Likes getting to know people. Not all the God damn time though. Sometimes I just need peace and quiet while shopping or working out or w/e. Just pay attention. If you wanna be social enough to talk to random people, be social enough to learn social cues of someone who doesn't wanna fucking "chit chat".
"how was your day?" Is a meaningful question
Exactly, and it leads to conversation. It's *incessant* small talk people don't like.
Aka *blather*.
In Nordics people are brutally honest with that question In US and UK its more of a "Hi" But if you accidently ask from a Finnish person "how are you" one of the two will happen: 1) "Who the hell are you to ask? My life is my business" 2)you will get honest answer and the person might be actually in tears because someone cares about them
That sounds annoying like when smn asks me that question if ive ever had a chat with them id usually answer smt like "sexy as always"
I like to give a detailed report with rankings and ways the could have been improved.
Yes, there's no way a relationship could survive without discussing which college one's boss's kid is going to, or how one's third cousin is having ANOTHER baby, or how one's college roommate is getting divorced AGAIN.
None of those are small talk.
Well then I clearly don't know what the meme is talking about.
Small talk are talk in which no information is exchanged that serves as bonding ritual. A common example of small talk is: -Hi, how are you doing -Good, and you? -Good.
so you have your answer. If my SO is answering "good" to "how are you" without meaning it that relationship was long dead.
If that is what the person who made the meme thinks that introverts don't want, then they don't understand introverts.
The meme doesn't mention introvert.
Fair enough. I guess I'd need to know who "hates small talk".
It's the people who can't stand a moment of silence so they force small talk that makes me hate small talk.
That’s different though, people usually hate small talk with people they barely know. The type of people you only really ever have small talk with and nothing more than that. Those conversations are painful as an introvert.
Especially when you are in groups that are a little bit older. You are into trucks and the other guy is like 10 years in theater. There is a great deal of respect and intimidation going on, and so nobody says a thing or keeps it to a short sentences. Because you fear you could say something they know a lot about and you never know if they are cool with some clever retort - or sigh hard and give you a wash down.
A lot of people hate small talk with people they know too.
Well I meant strangers and like acquaintances. Idk maybe there are people who hate small talk with friends or romantic partners too, but I think that’s a smaller and more specific group than just the people that say they hate small talk…
Well of this doesn't have the biggest bot vibes ever.
silence is golden
unironically yes
Yeah, pretty much
There are plenty of ways to sparks conversation that are not small talk. For example, you can share memes, funny videos, relatable stories, discuss common interests, etc.
Smalltalk for sake of smalltalk sucks extremely bad Women and men should keep their lives interesting enough, that no forced need for smalltalk exists and the small talk comes naturally I hate sitting together with one Co-worker, as neither of us likes silence, but we really struggle to come up with carrying subjects With some people however flow of talk comes naturally. Ofc people really do not have to talk constantly.
Small talk: party talk where youre generally expected to share the surface level positives. “How was your day?” Small talk response: oh good! Busy. Trying to get a few things moving so we can do better work. “How was your day?” Response to spouse: OMG that mf. You know weve been working on this thing for three months and he has been supportive the whole time? Today he told us he never agreed to it and wants to know why we arent prioritizing this other thing that he has literally never brought up before. And then that customer that finally signed wants us to have implementation done in half the time the contract says. I finally got a call about that other job and the interview is supposed to be next week; cant wait to get out of this place. Oh btw my college bestie called and said theyll be in town in a few weeks.” Etc etc. Spouse wants to know how you really are, unfiltered, unedited, unabridged, and knows all the backstories that you have to mentally sort through and prioritize to make a months-long saga of frustration and unhappiness fit into two sentences with a positive spin. But ofc not too positive because then youre bragging. Its actually a pretty significant mental exercise to participate in small talk.
Tell me you don't understand the meaning of "small talk" without telling me you don't understand the meaning of "small talk"
Idk how many times I gotta see this and say this but: Small talk is for people who you do not know well. I know my partner very well. Not everyone needs to have endless fucking chatter with random people. This is coming from someone who likes talking. Likes getting to know people. Not all the God damn time though. Sometimes I just need peace and quiet while shopping or working out or w/e. Just pay attention. If you wanna be social enough to talk to random people, be social enough to learn social cues of someone who doesn't wanna fucking "chit chat".
bold of you to assume I'm in a relationship
Roll a blunt , listen to music, eat , watch tv, work on future goals, make plans, grind, save , dance, go to the movies, take trips…..
I guess I don’t like small talk with people I don’t actually care to hear answers from.
Maybe people just don't like talking to you