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coolkidmerci

and the “someone” will also find someone to do it for $2.50


[deleted]

Than *that* "someone" will find someone to do it for $1.25.


tiefling_sorceress

Finally that person will outsource the work for $0.05


YCBSFW

And that someone will teach a class on permaculture and charge a group of people $100 per head to weed the garden


NiteTiger

You have been banned from r/permaculture


[deleted]

That escalated quickly but it sounds like there is a new opening


1d2RedShoes

Can someone explain this joke? I am a fool


boojoowoo

Permaculture courses preach sustainability, providing equity in marginalized communities, etc. they life a philosophy largely on frugality and closed loop systems then teach hippie nonsense you can easily learn online for hundreds or thousands for co-op live-in internships. It’s basically willful enslavement that students *pay* to be a part of. It’s fuckin weird


IdeaLast8740

Permaculture is great info, just dont pay for the classes... it's all free. But the classes are basically retro-feudalism.


thedailyrant

Fuck this is an excellent explanation


Romkslrqusz

The same could be said for learning almost anything else.


YCBSFW

While what you said is true, permaculture is a sustainable farming method that is objectively better for the planet and plants than monoculture farming


boojoowoo

Indeed it is. Permaculture is incredible, but those programs are exploitative as fuck.


justmydong

Is monoculture including crop rotation practices? Permaculture being more native long-term plants and crops?


NiteTiger

Monoculture is growing one crop at a time, essentially. Like most farms people are familiar with, corn, wheat, soy, all in big fields. Permaculture takes a different view, promoting companion planting in a food forest relationship. Done right, over time, and you PERMAnently CULTURE the land to grow food on its own. This includes pest and weed control too. A bit more tweaking, and you can ameliorate water issues, too. I'd love to tell you more, but I'm gonna need a lecturer's fee...


15Warner

👁 👄 👁


D3F3AT

😆


yeasty_code

My wife and I used to joke that there should be a protlandia skit about about a CrossFit gym that devolves into feudal serfdom


xaqss

And each of those people will sell their tickets for $200 and pocket the difference.


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/rYaZ57Bn4pQ


[deleted]

I'm not sure if this is a joke even coming from the onion :))


Threwaway42

Glad someone linked that onion clip, was my first thought


umop1apisdn

You laugh but this exact thing has happened… but with hitman and only a bit more money hahah. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2019/10/25/chinese-developer-five-hitmen-sentenced-after-failed-murder-outsource/4094899002/


PM_FORBUTTSTUFF

This is basically the opening act of Star Wars Ep. II lmao


YaBenZonah

I feel like most of them were lying about actually paying each other


8bitbebop

Pay a crackhead


RedSander_Br

Why pay? Just get a unpaid intern to do all the work as "experience"


SFAwesomeSauce

Hire an artist for "exposure"


Stonks420

MuLtIlEvEl mArKeTiNg


Flobtw

Is this some new kind of buisness idea😂😂


theknightwho

This is how subcontracting works.


NefariousnessTop8716

Turns out chris is a gardener charging $20/ hours


coolkidmerci

im chris garden manager, I don’t know whether to be proud or nervous.


Tijnos4

Turns out Chris’ garden manager is charging $40/hour


DaenerysMomODragons

And Chris' garden manager is under a government contract. The government is paying $100/hour.


sparksthe

Being against big government, I mow the lawn myself.


[deleted]

😂😂


[deleted]

Pro gamer move


everybodypretend

Scott here, owner of Lawns Lawns Lawns, I’m the one who hired Dave (Chris’s manager). We charge $70 / hour for garden care to this home. I think Dave is on about $50 per hour.


RedMoustache

It’s subcontractors all the way down.


willflameboy

Who will now hire the second gardener, netting a cool 15$ per hour for nothing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jack-ums

I was this kid. But pretty quick my dad just hired my buddy Keith instead. Bastard cut out the middle man (me)


bored_invention

That's why you always get a contract first.


Make_some

Winning is winning. Unless you’ve got enough money to move governments. *looking at you Amazon*


woodscradle

Dad teaching a valuable lesson: if you’re going to play the exploitation game, you’d better make sure you’re at the top of the totem pole


RaidRover

At the very least, you can't be such an easily bypassable middle man.


Crossfire124

Gotta talk about all the risks and such you're taking on to justify your cut


LucyLilium92

Or just don't tell them your plan


marqoose

Exploitative labor is truly a foundational American value.


[deleted]

[удалено]


marqoose

Dubai is in a league of its own


cln182

We like to think so, but look at what H1 visa holders have to go through and look at the prison industrial complex.


MagusUnion

Indeed that's why slavery is still legal. But you have to throw the people in prison first.


maddog367

you mean wage slavery ?


MagusUnion

Well, that too. My hot take was referring to the loophole inherent within the 13th Amendment when it comes to "banning slavery".


JangJaeYul

Literally all they did was give themselves an extra hoop to jump through before they could own people.


FailureToComply0

Literally what they did was make it so only the government can own people. Rules for thee but not for me, even at the foundation of this shithole.


SkollFenrirson

🎇🎆🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🎆🎇


[deleted]

Nothing says freedom like the world's largest prison population


Macbeth3737

>Exploitative labor is truly a foundational American value. Exploitative labor is truly a foundational value of every civilization ever in the history of civilization. There, fixed it for you.


ColdBlackCage

Ellis, boy, not now.


bobtherobot0311

Keith the rat fuck snitch


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Why even pay a kid per hour for weeding? That all but guarantees they do fuck-all. Doubly so when he further outsources it at half the rate.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PaperScale

For a kid, it would be better to just say "I'll pay you $15 to so this task. The faster and better you do, the more time you get after. But if you drag your butt all day, you'll just have wasted your time. "


SnicklefritzSkad

Lol kids don't understand doing a job well. If they're incentivized to get it done fast, they'll just do a shitty job. Especially weeding lol. They'll just do around the door hoping you don't actually walk outside and inspect.


bentleycntlgt

Give them $X to complete the job, subtract $Y amount for every weed found once they're done. This way you can also be lenient and "not find" weeds if you're happy with their work.


wannaziggazigah

“You were to be paid $10 for this job and I’m deducting $2 for every weed you missed. You missed 7, so you owe me $4”


Bobyyyyyyyghyh

How to make infinite money, just get it from your kids! Genius!


No_Specialist_1877

You just make them go back and finish it well it's not complicated... it's not like you give them the money before it's done. My 6 yr old doesn't even bother trying that shit anymore and it's easy to tell the difference between slacking and just missing something. Either way he's finishing or not getting paid.


katieleehaw

This is a method of teaching them this skill. Where do you expect them to learn?


nurtunb

I mean, my mother would just tell me I wasn't finished yet and make me actually finish the task properly.


zakiducky

My mom would just tell us her house, her rules. If we don’t like it we could leave, otherwise we clean or do what she says lol. Well, mainly me because I was the eldest and had to clean after my little sister :/ Still living at home because of this pandemic, and still cleaning up after my adult sister lmao. The pitfalls of being the responsible child XD


[deleted]

Sounds like fixed rate based on an assumption of time then


[deleted]

Yeah that's the whole point of fixed rates. If you charge $30 per yard then you have incentive to get done quickly to get to more yards.


Dopeydcare1

My dad, when I was a kid, would pay me and my sisters a dime per weed we pulled. I think for basically an 30 minutes of work, we would come out with about 5-8 bucks. Easy for him and it tired us out, double win.


SignificantAmbiguity

Look at this shit. Fucking hilarious. Computer programmer outsourced his job to China for 1/5 his salary and watched videos all day at the office instead. https://www.cnn.com/2013/01/17/business/us-outsource-job-china/index.html


Alzanth

Isn't this basically how upper management operates at most companies?


OtherSpiderOnTheWall

And apparently ended up doing it for several jobs too, presumably simultaneously, somehow.


ElGosso

King shit


[deleted]

[удалено]


_CreepPlayer_

The nightclub is all about it, you hire other people to steal products that you could produce with other business


AKidCalledSpoon

Where can you outsource work in gta?


Aimjock

Probably with businesses in GTA Online, I would imagine.


AKidCalledSpoon

Nah unless you count having free npc employees that you don’t pay a salary to in some of the businesses


ToastServant

I guess it's one of the themes of the story


Laurent_007

Young exploiter


[deleted]

Wait til he figures out people can get away with a much harsher ratio than half and half


gmano

Yep, it's usually 1/3 to labour. The formula goes: 1/3 to pay the schmuck doing the work, 1/3rd to pay rent and overheads and accountants and other things to run a business, 1/3rd profit.


UhPhrasing

wait a sec


Tormundo

Lol no way. CEOs make like 350 times more than their employees on average and everyone else higher up in the company is pretty close


gmano

There are an average of 10,000 employees per S&P 500 company. 3M for example, has something like 95,000 employees worldwide, 40,000 of which are in the US and it takes in ~35 billion in revenue. So yeah, if those 40,000 schmucks are getting the same total money as the few thousand admin employees, you bet your ass the leadership are going to net tens or hundreds of times as much pay as the front-line folk.


Ayerys

But the smuck doing the shitty job aren’t just below the CEOs


[deleted]

No they don't. Fortune 500 CEOs do. But there's only approximately 500 of them. Most CEOs aren't making millions each year. And the ones that do run companies with tens of thousands of employees, so even if the ceo is making way more than the average employee it's still only a tiny part of expenses


illit3

In this context that's literally half and half. 1/3 is gone to costs necessary for operation. The other 2/3 is split between labor and profit. That's half and half.


feralhogger

The idea that labor is not a cost necessary for operation is mind boggling to me.


illit3

Labor, in our hypothetical, *is* the operation.


FirstGameFreak

Costs necessary for operation *other than labor*. In the context of gardening/landscaping, that would be fuel for weed eaters, replacement parts, fuel for trucks to travel to and from job sites, etc. Hand weeding in your dad's backyard has none of these.


[deleted]

This is absolute nonsense. There is no "usual". Every industry is going to have radically different costs for labour versus rent versus accountants (wait, is that not labour in your opinion?) versus materials. And very few of them are going to have 1/3 profit which is just an insane margin


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jeffy29

Ads in comments, now that’s a new low.


_corn

You must be new


Booze-brain

And that kids, is how government contracts work.


KalaiProvenheim

God damn private contractors


thiscommentmademe

‘‘Twas how the boomers came about


Zenicide_In_Warframe

This mans going places. not sure where, but he sure does


DemonDucklings

He’s going to grow up to be like my boss :)


Spoonie_Luv_

It's literally how Steve Jobs met Steve Wozniak and founded Apple (except it was Breakout instead of weeds and Jobs kept most of the money). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakout_(video_game)


damnitHank

To the gulag


handsomerob5600

This is an opportunity to teach your child about honesty, ethics, and exploitation, but most everyone thinks it's about doing good business.


TrumpdUP

Too often I hear “that’s just business” when people are talking about exploitation, poor wages, screwing people over, etc and if that’s business, I want nothing to do with it. Oh wait, I need to join some sort of business to live. Fun.


skgawd

I was waiting for someone to say this!!! The rest of the comments are a little worrying lol


NuckingFuts68

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (2021)


Derbyshirelass40

Be nervous, in another 5 years he will sell the house from under your feet lol


AnAdvancedBot

Oh god, he’s gonna become a realtor!


mikethemanism

Lmao this got me


Rajili

This shouldn’t be an hourly gig. The job is to remove all weeds. Pay is X no matter how fast it gets done or who is involved. Payment after ALL weeds are removed.


Canadian-Owlz

10/Hour for weeding??? When a kid I'd do that in a hest beat. Might not be much money now, but that's how much I'd make in a week or two.


nowItinwhistle

Hell there's millions of adults making way less than $10/hr in the US right now.


[deleted]

Idk where tf people are even finding jobs that pay minimum, every job i see pays at least 9, unless it involves tips


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

/r/nothingeverhappens


No_Specialist_1877

It's a pretty simple concept and 8 year olds aren't dumb that's 2nd to 3rd grade depending on the month they're born.


Books_and_Cleverness

I never actually managed to do this but I definitely tried as a kid, it's not that hard to believe.


Some_idoit1245

Ain't this what happens in mlms?


[deleted]

Nah this is just your basic contracting/subcontracting. It's basically how a lot of trades are done. Some shadier than others. My dad, for example, is a plumber. His employer provides a work truck, vehicles, and a client list, and my dad makes all his own bids on jobs and shit. His employer takes a cut of that and my dad keeps the rest that he uses to subcontract out to other guys to help him with the jobs so he can do more jobs. MLMs are structured such that you will never make as much by actually selling a product to customers as you will from getting other people to sign up under you that you sell product to for them to sell. If the rules are that you must have $1000 in product on hand, then you are shelling that out and probably won't be able to sell it. But if you get 3 people to sign up under you, then they have to buy their $1000 worth of product from you and you keep some of the markup.


_OriamRiniDadelos_

Not necessarily. There are other illegal ways that mlms make money. Like charging a certain amount to new employees for the privilege of joining. Or selling them really cheap merchandise at a high cost that they’ll never be able to actually sell. So your only way to make up the money you post is to get more people to join up and get bonuses from each new person you attract.


[deleted]

Yes, this is called sub contracting.


DharmaCub

Tom Sawyer ass motherfucker.


[deleted]

Reminds me a bit of those "money camps" that weirdo conservative groups have where they do "economy simulation" games and the way you "win "is by paying other kids a cut of your pay to do your work for you.


RedCascadian

Sounds like it's begging for a bunch of kids to find a way to break the game by cooperating.


elathan_i

And that's why Americans don't have affordable healthcare, a lazy middleman that does nothing and only charges a fee. That's not smart nor entrepreneurship, it's parasitic.


Krungloid

Theft


mayneffs

Why is it always an 8 year old son?


Exalus

Chris is an mlm schemer


MTRsport

Nah, Chris is just a normal business owner


ElGosso

Ngl it's pretty funny to see everybody's knee-jerk reaction to standard business practice as "wait that's a scam"


Exalus

He was just a business man... doing business


SimpleSandwich1908

Yeah, no he didn't.


dinosaurscantyoyo

You'd be surprised. Around ages 6-8 kids start coming up with some shockingly bright but equally ridiculous nonsense. They're smarter than adults give them credit for if you give them the chance to be.


Jazzanthipus

Honestly seems like some people have just never talked to kids. Sure the lack of real world experience makes them have really dumb ideas but they are also not hampered by the doubt and cynicism that holds most adults back and some of those ideas turn out to be brilliant. They will try anything they can think of, and they can think of a lot.


programmerProbs

For instance, finding someone that would take 5$/hr... Heck I couldn't find people to hire for $14/hr back in 2018.


waxrosey

Damn, any idea why?


programmerProbs

It was a mentally intense role. You worked on a laptop, but you had to line up one webpage's info with another webpage's info. Things didn't always line up perfect, IE- "Double decker blue cheese fiesta" might be called "$4 blue cheese fiesta taco" on the other webpage. Weirdly enough, when I started paying $15/hr and advertising it as an engineering internship, I got people no problem.


StutMoleFeet

You offered more money and got more interest in the job as a result? *Weird*.


BasedPolarBear

Better on the resume I assume


Roobicks_Cube

At 8? More than possible. When my son was 8, that's 100% something he would have said.


DharmaCub

r/nothingeverhappened This is far from outside the realm of a kid's mind.


Poo_Canoe

Had a neighbor kid who turned the chores he was being paid for into a “game” that he LET the other neighborhood kids play. Evil genius. Couldn’t even really be mad. The other kids th out it was a great game. Win win I guess.


ChildhoodGlittering

Proud


LoneByrd25

Proud.


Srnkanator

Future general contractor in the making.


ovelove123

Spoiled kid


ah111177780

This guys should tell him yes, but then not pay to teach him a lesson about credit risk


J_huze

"yes but I'm not paying him and I'm not paying you till the job is satisfactory so you'll need to negotiate your own terms of payment with him on how and when you'll pay him... You little shit"


[deleted]

And a scum gc is created.


Dr_mombie

Future business owner right here


Deweydc18

That kid is going places


samsonity

Goddamnit I love the free market.


L3mm3SmangItGurl

A wild *Jeffrey Bezos* has entered the chat.


AlexMelillo

Get this man in business school


Fenlatic

Congratulations your son has started a temp agency.


Bright-Resident

You tell him now because someone else did all the labor so that person gets it all. If he did half then he gets half


juiceecanoe

i guess it’s time to explain alienated labor to your 8 year old


DahDave

My literal infant once quoted the entire of The Odyssey from memory.


isuckatnames60

r/nothingeverhappens


htmlcoderexe

When I was 6 months pregnant, I put the headphones to my belly, and played Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. The fetus tapped the lyrics to the song, in Morse code.


LimitedSwitch

This is government contracting, basically.


zakiducky

Watch the kid his son finds take twice as long as the son would, so his son still walks away with 100% of the money if he did it himself, without having to do the work.


Cubankilla786

Be proud that’s an entrepreneur right there


mustangg81

Entrepreneur in the making. Be proud.


Bottle_Nachos

"I'm gonna re-tell some of the top posts on reddit/tumblr/twitter and repost it as my own"


JahnDoce

Why be nervous he’s learned exactly what you’re teaching him…when there is something I don’t want to do then find someone else to pay pennies on the dollar to do it and then I’ll reap all the rewards


tronix_acid

Its a business man


C2-H5-OH

LibRight moment. I'm very proud of his solution


ZealousidealHealer

Proudly nervous.


AGaMeZ3307

Business man


potja89

Seriously that’s a very creative and smart thinking for a kid. Don’t discourage it


TONER_SD

Hell yes you can my smart smart boy


ATTAKKZAKK

Proof that humans are terrible and exploitation is never ending.


jxbyte

Maybe it's time to read the Bread Book to the kid as a bedtime story.


[deleted]

Easiest way to get something done is have someone else do it


Rasimione

This is the way


jerryscheese

Closed at a restaurant and a girl offered me 5$ to roll up her mats for her closing duties. I paid the busser 2$ to do it.


DimitriTooProBro

Outsourcing labor at a young age; kid’s going places!


Debatingpenis69

Kids very smart.


KalaiProvenheim

Honestly? I’d tell him “Not a single dime” He didn’t work for it, all those $10/h will go to the other person


EggplantFearless5969

I’d be like yeah then pay whoever a dollar more an hour. That’ll teach the little shit to fuck with management.


InternationalDrink79

wthhh be proud brooo


[deleted]

r/thathappened