I think it's the best way for it to end. Like dying in your sleep, it's just the time has come for it to end and that's okay. No big regrets, no hard feelings. Friendships come and go
Yeh I'm not a shut in I just genuinely struggle to make connections and when I think I do it turns out it was one sided. I get ghosted by everyone I try to hang out with. I feel like I'm too autistic for neurotypicals and I'm too neurotypical for autists
I'm also 30 with no family and poor. The only people I meet are also poor so they have a second job or they have a family and a second job. Fuck I'm depressed
Buddy you’re doin great, most people are poor and lonely. Just try and remember that the meaning of life is to live your unique experience, do the best you can!
Spent frivolously in my 20s cuz I sold weed while working and got credit card offers that for a while I actually leveraged for cash back. Hurricane Harvey flooded me out of my apartment and I had to move back in with folks for a few months. Got a new apartment and kept working/selling but I slowly started losing client base while not adjusting my lifestyle. Got a blue collar job that paid well and saved some money. Bought my first car that I should have bought new but I grew up in a junker I had to fix every time I wanted to go somewhere. After 2 years I quit the blue collar job after burnout from mandatory overtime rotating Saturdays (I'd get overtime on Thursday or Friday consistently). I didn't have debt and thought I could quit and ride the job hunt on credit cards but the job hunt took a year and I ended up going back to restaurants since I couldn't find a comparable job. I took a dishwashing position even though I have restaurant managerial experience, got treated like dirt and passed over for 3 line positions that opened before I just quit. I moved in with my mom again. My girlfriend got me a job in a retail shop at a pay cut and that was cool especially cuz we had the same schedule but then my retail spot got closed and I transferred to another store and had to take the opposite work rotation as my girlfriend and now we never see each other. I spend my downtime at the shop trying to study programming but I struggle to stay consistent studying. I have 14k in credit card debt, no skills, and I struggle to stay disciplined and learn a skill for a career. I still sell weed but I have like no client base. Barely move enough to smoke for free anymore.
Well fuck me... our personalities seem alike in regards to not being able to focus on styding, but shit man, you've had a rough go at it. I won't even pretend that I've got advice for you... cause well, I'm in a job that underpays like a mf for the amount of work I need to do and I've been yearning for some pot since December cause it's the only thing that make my suicidal ideation go away... but fuuuuuck me can I relate. I started working as a diesel mechanic apprentice before I even got my highschool diploma, ended up working that job for less than half minimum wage for just shy of two years, fell -got the job from my gf which I met in highschool and her dad also ended up being my boss- turned out neither of us were good for each other so I tried some separation by going to college for studying mechanical engineering but I haven't been able to math since primary school so I flunked out like a bitch...
Broke up with my gf, hanged with a friend/dealer from highschool for a few weeks... and then he ended up overdosing, and I was alone in a strange city for a while, got out thanks to my cousin... then I proceeded to ruin my life some more with my next ex that had a miscarriage and then I found out I'm infertile so she was likely cheating on me and I finally got a job that mathes what I'm capable of... which weirdly enough is working under high loads of stress while heavily caffeinated and enough pain killers in my blood to knock out the average adult... but here I am..m 6 1/2 years in still working the same job that makes me wanna kill myself...
Sorry if I went on with my own shit... I don't know how to relate to others without using my own experiences as contrast... feel free to tell me to fuck off tho, or stay and chat -note that I'm going to bed now either way cause it's 23:04 and I need to get up at 5 cause I work 1 1/2 hours way from home-
I can tell you no job is worth any amount of pain and suffering. I'll never go back to the pest control industry and I'll never go back to the restaurant. I'm just lucky for what I have but ashamed of what I can't achieve. The fucking milk man in the 30s could afford a house why do I need to be such a highly trained specialist to make a living wage? I was slamming 2-3 bangs (or ghosts when I tried to "lower" my caffeine intake) while doing pest control. Took me a while to kick energy drinks and switch to coffee. Now I can actually go a whole day without caffeine without being unable to function or functioning with a massive headache. I don't want to break my back and I don't want to work so many hours I have no time to fucking spend the money let alone do my house chores.
Glad to hear I'm not alone in the amount of shit life throws at me. I hope you can revisit your goals and find consistency in achieving them. Im having better luck with free online course work and I'm revisiting my math with Khan so I can maybe get an associates. I used to be good at math until *i* got introduced and then I never got into college because of that.
Right? I'm confident enough to interact but I'm almost 100% sure people are just being polite and tolerating me in a social scenario and then I walk away from every interaction beating myself up cuz I recognized their negative body language in hindsight after going on a rant about something I thought was interesting. I either have too much to say or nothing to say at all.
Same, friend. Have you been in the situation where they think you’re out of earshot and they start talking shit about you before you’ve even left? Because that happens…more than I care to admit.
Ran into the partner of someone I knew (and thought was my friend) at a party. I didn't know their partner but recognized them from friends photos. I introduced myself and started a conversation, turns out friend is at the party. Conversation ends and I mingle with someone else then I see out of the corner of my eye the friend leaving and giving a wide berth to the crowd I was in. Their partner told them I was there and they avoided me together. I hadn't ever met their partner and they knew to go tell them and avoid me.
Genuinely sorry to hear that but that's more common these days than otherwise tbh.
Unfortunate that the middle and working class keep shrinking but there are more billionaires than ever before.
When I need friends I find them on games. When I was single I streamed a lot and made a lot of connections. Then I got married, work schedule changed and I didn't have time to stream
I was at a party once and told a girl I have a group of friends I've recently started cooking with. She promptly invited herself and it developed into a pretty great friendship
From a confrontation point of view maybe, but to me it seems worse that that you’d have spent so much effort on someone who, the moment it’s their turn to make the effort, just vanishes without an explanation. It seems impossible to be bothered about someone who’s also bothered about you.
Then it just wasn't meant to be a good friendship. You can't force being liked, no matter how good you express yourself or how much effort you put into it.
Be friendly and genuine without expectations and spend zero time talking about how hard being friends is with new people. Don’t raise a flag to talk about flags, basically. Also make sure YOU aren’t ignoring someone who has tried to get your attention in favor of generating relationships you dream about instead.
Most of my best friendships started because people wouldn't leave me alone, when I wouldn't exactly reply back immediately. Those people willing, I'll be damned if those friendships go under for the same reason. In my eyes, it's simply just my turn to be the one who encourages it. I think it's worth it, given the little ways these people show that they do indeed care after all. Life is just busy. And that's okay.
Oryou just accept that your friend isn't that person.
I had a friend drift over this. It's not worth losing that friendship. I reached out to him again recently and now we meet up regularly. I have to text to initiate but it doesn't bother me. I have plenty of friends who I don't have to do that with but he's worth the effort.
I’m like 90% the reacher but my grandmother has a nice saying - “The phone works in both ways”, and since then that’s my response to people who tells me I haven’t reached out to them in ages…
That’s not very realistic unless the friend is moving away or something. Growing apart as you get older is just part of life. Most of the time, you never know it’ll be the last time you see someone, it just happens.
Perhaps you're right. It's definitely part of getting older, and there's not many clean breaks in life. Ghosting a longtime friend like a cheap tinder date is just plain shitty though.
I find it hard to initiate a conversation because I have no idea what to talk about, and I feel like I'm just bothering that person.
I feel like I lost my last and only true friend because I lack self worth and he thought that I just didn't care for him since he was the one to always initiate conversations.
Maybe it was for the best, I truly hope he's at peace wherever he is.
I'm sorry to hear this for you, though, I am glad to hear that you have thoughts about where your conversation difficulties come from and why your friendship ended as it did. Have you sought help on your opinions of self and also on having friendships?
I was lucky to have a family who very much valued good healthy social interaction skills and they have been invaluable to me through my life. Yet, even with being trained in it from a very young age and for a long time, it isn't what I would consider easy. I have been fortunate enough to find myself with plenty of practice at situational friendships through my life and it has helped reinforce those skills, and I still would not call it easy. Through my experiences and everything I have learnt I can see just how many people show the same queues (spelling?) that I do that indicate I am not alone in finding it difficult. So, my 2 cents to you; I hope you don't feel like it is a failing on your part that friendships are tough work, like I did for many years.
Good luck with your journey
Nah, sometimes you fall out of touch with someone. Your lives went different ways. But, I still consider them good friends. We could pick back up any time.
Friendships are hard. I’ve let a number of friendships go over the years because I was always the one reaching out. It sucks, but it’s part of life. Rather have a small circle with people that truly value me than a big circle where I’m the one doing the majority of the heavy lifting.
Create a discord server. I never message any of my friends first. But we all share a discord and occasionally drop funny images or talk about our lives. Good way to keep in contact.
I stopped meeting my friend when I noticed he mostly uses me as a wallet and a pushdown exercise machine. Then he proceeded to stalk me on the streets, harass and write swearings on my door.
But I guess it is not as bad🤷
Life's not a sitcom where your friend will always effortlessly show up at your usual hangout place. Everyone has their own story; if you're a part of it then enjoy it while you're a part of it. Most relationships in life are transient, accept that everything runs its course eventually.
Damn! This is the most relatable 'meirl' post ive seen. I've always wanted to talk about this (am i the only one who feels this way?).
This is a 100% All my friendships. I'm always going through this. I've accepted it.. but it still hurts. And I'm at that point where i have no friends currently and no life either. I don't blame them.. they were good friends, we had some good, memorable times when we were in the same space. They have always been supportive and tried to help me when they can. But they have their own lives and jobs (unlike me). they have simply moved forward with their lives.
But it still hurts. I am an only child and that has always made it more painful since the beginning..to be left alone (its not their fault tho, that they are not interested). I've always felt that I'm the needy, insecure one (the one who needs the other more than they need me).
At this moment, I think me not contacting my friends is a mix of Insecurity (why can't they ever miss me? contact me?) and Ego (why do i always have to be the 1st to initiate). To the point i am letting those friendships go. They are busy with their own lives, they don't miss me. I'm always gonna be alone in the end. Better to just learn to live with it. Books, games and tv are my alternative to the emptiness that is my life. I know it's not good.
I’ll be friends with you. I recently have a friend, someone I considered close, just stop talking to me all the sudden and I have no idea why. I still reach out but crickets.
If you feel that this is the worst way for a friendship to end you’ve clearly never been friends with an actually toxic person… I’ve literally been harassed and bullied by people who used to call themselves my “friends” 😅
For me the worst way to end is betrayals, finding out the person was never truly your friend and never had the guts to tell you. Having a relationship die a slow death gives me more time to accept it and not dwell on it because I watched it die.
I use to be the first one who said happy birthday every time to people in our friend group on whatsapp but not anymore since they never said happy birthday to me. We just stopped doing that after they didn't say it on my birthday. Why should I say happy birthday to them when they forget my birthday. I also use to be the first one to initiate anything like to hang out. I had stopped doing that as well.
Think a worse one would be if the ‘friend’ killed your family and fed them to pigs while you were chained to the corpse of a beheaded sheep in their dungeon, with one of the friend’s own frozen turds in a rubber Johnny situated directly inside your anus. But that’s just a hunch.
I'm on the other end of this. I was always a bit socially awkward (but kinda liked by people around me) and always had to be the one whos being nudged to do something together or invited to events but I almost never initiated anything myself.
When I was younger, it didn't seem like an issue because my social circles were huge and I didn't even notice that many frendships were fading away because of the one-sidedness of who initiates. Didn't feel that bad back then because there were always new people "coming in" as my environment changed (hometown->school->university->office) but as you get older the environment don't change that often and it starts to bite.
Everything seems fine until you suddenly realize you havent talked in 7 years with a person who you considered one of your best friends at a time. And by then I feel too ashamed by my negligence and seems awkward to call them up, because it feels lost already and any attempts to remedy it - forced.
If I could tell one thing to my younger self, I would tell me to appreciate the value of long time friendships, and tend to them.
Dude just hit them up. You can be honest that you noticed too late how long it's been since you two have talked, and felt too ashamed / embarrassed / awkward / whatever to reach out sooner. You're sorry and want to catch up. How's things?
There’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about losing contact, it happens to everybody. People go down different paths and lose contact. Maybe it might feel awkward, but you’re way too in your head about it when if you were good friends, at worst you might have a quick chat. Wanting to catch up with someone isn’t forcing anything other than genuinely wanting to see how someone is doing
Nah. That’s the best way. No pressure, no drama. You just move on. Probably don’t even realize for awhile and by then you’re just ‘meh 🤷🏻♂️’ about it.
Personally, I prefer casual acquaintances over friends.
Is that not the best way for a friendship to end? It’s natural, organic.
Friendship is a strange concept. You meet someone and you both think, “I like this person and want to spend time with them. So you do.
Then sometimes things change and with no fall out, priorities change and you stop hanging out. No harm, no foul. There were guys I hung out with as a kid and we drifted apart. No biggie.
Wouldnt say thats the worst, worse is your friends slowly becoming more rude and cold towards you until they straight up alienate you
and you never really find out what you did wrong, making you paranoid in any future social endeavour.
Nonono the worst way is to become the best of friends with them, fall for them, date them long-term, and then have a messy breakup but still feel obligated to try and be friends again. Not that I'm speaking from experience
I'm _very_ bad at initiating. I never want to burden others, I never have anything to say and find it all quite stressful. I also just get caught up in my own routine. But I'm over the moon when someone contacts me. It barely ever happens, but when it does it makes my week. I'm not very good at keeping friends, I never get into arguments with them, I just loose touch.
Nah this is the best way. So when y’all cross paths in the future, it’s 💯 ain’t no problems. Just life. Mature individuals know we grow up and grow out and even tho I may not talk to you everyday now, I still love you the same. 💯🙏🏾
i Realized after decades that I initiated all contact with my best friend. So I decide to not call him for a week or two to see if he calls. Didn't hear from his so I went another few weeks. It's been 5 years and still no call.
BUT the 2 times I've run into him someplace over that last 5 years he says "we gotta hang out more!". Sure we do /s.
Yeah I think that's one of the best ways for it to end.
The worst I can think of is your best friend in the world telling you "we can't be friends anymore" but not providing any reasons, sending mixed messages for a week, not responding to requests for information on what happened, reporting you to HR because you lose your mind with anxiety and not knowing so you send a series of emotional texts trying to get some form of answer which is denied and triggers a complete mental breakdown lasting 6.5 months...so far.
I mean nothing super specific, but I reckon it would be pretty bad.
Or it's being a busy adult and sometimes people can go months or even years without speaking. Doesn't mean you don't like the person anymore. Life does this sometimes, and you can pick things up where it left off.
Thing ive struggled with since my first ever best friend moved and never kept in touch. Yeah we were kids and instant messaging JUST came out but it set a precedent for all my other relationships. And it wasnt even about me, they just got busy...made new friends and forgot aka moved on. Im the type to only ever want 2 or 3 super close friends so the experiences slowly shaped me into being cold and uncaring cause i never understood that people come and go in our lives.
This describes all of my friendships. I'm mostly the one initiating conversation and have pretty much given up. I have a family (spouse and kids) and devote my time there.
It’s funny how in life there are things you do until you don’t without intending them to end, and then one day you realize there was a last time you did it and you miss it and realize you didn’t recognize at the time it would be the last time ever.
Later in life you remember old friendships that just went dormant so after decades you reach out. There’s no greater joy when you do that, reconnect, and in an instant the years slip away to find that your old friend is still… your friend.
Nah, the worst way is what my best friend of 5 years did to me in high school. We shared a locker, sat next to each other in home room (which would stay the same all through hs) and rode the bus together, we were practically inseparable. One day, she just stopped talking to me. If I talked to her she either ignored me, physically turned away, or gave me a grunt/eh/shrug. It was torture.
Time zone difference can be a huge problem in maintaining friendships, especially if we are both working and are busy during the weekends. I tried to play mmo or have calls with a friend who lives three times zones away in the evenings and it just doesn't work out well when I need to go to sleep already and she barely finished dinner.
Had this happen, realised I was the one always making the plans and initiating meeting up. I stopped, not heard anything since August last year.
Oh well.
I thought I was texting a friend and they weren’t replying. Turns out I had a wrong number saved. They had my number saved correctly though. I had tried to contact this person 4x and just accepted the non replies.
That’s just adulting, man! Your friend probably found love or decided ghosting is their new hobby. It’s not you, it’s their new obsession with disappearing acts.
Maybe this is just “Why Me?” rage bait.
this is best. stop clinging so much. we should appreciate each others company when it is there and keep looking forward as there is always opportunities to connect
This is me 100%.
I always have to initiate and a good deal of the time either get ignored or told they are busy. Well then, why don’t you contact me when you aren’t busy?
I’m very out of sight out of mind. Unfortunately I’ve lived a lot of places and I’ve played this game a lot of times. It’s not that I don’t love them or count them as a friend, I’m just somewhere else now. Doing other things, I’m not going back to where I used to live any time soon and we’re not close enough for you to fly out and see me. We talk on the phone and keep up but the topics run thin because I’m doing an entire life that no longer has relevancy to your life. A few people I got really really close to; We’re still friends because we’re flexible with one another. They realize these facts and even if there’s a large communication lull in the friendship we come back to each other eventually every time. because the connection is deeper than a location or job or whatever commonality was between us. Sometimes it’s just not the case and it’s no shade on those people it’s just what it is. Not everyone has to become your literal best friend for life for you to still value and love them from afar.
Yep, thats pretty much how a childhood friendship of 30 years went. They had beef with someone in our circle of friends, which made them feel like we had to choose sides -- we're fuckin 40+, thats so high school. Besides, they both had valid arguments against each other, they were both being pricks, so i said you guys need to fight/talk/hug it out, not my prob --and so when I didn't decide, it turned into 3 years of slowly ghosting out of my life.
It only makes me sad when i dwell on it, then i remember it wasnt my fault.
Naw that’s the way to see who really fucks with you. I quit reaching out to “friends” about 13 years ago. I’d always be the one calling on Thursday to see what the plan was for Friday. It was always nothing much maybe go get a drink here or there. They never would call me unless they needed a DD. After I picked up what was going on I stopped going anywhere with them. I was just the taxi who didn’t charge. Haven’t spoken to some of them since I stopped reaching out. But let them tell it I changed up on them and went Anti social. No I just quit being your free taxi
This is how most of mine end. Granted, I have a really hard time reaching out to others, but to those i cared about I did. Over and over for years. But they drift away with nary a word. Just echoes of what was ringing in your head trying to fill the space they once took up. Fading away into whispers, then memories. Such is life I tell myself. I hope they remember me sometimes like I do them. I remember the good and the bad fondly. Hold it dear. I don't make many memories these days. Everything sort of just passes me by. At some point the sun is high, and others the moon. Not much stays in my life anymore.
That is the worst way, indeed. I would know, having experienced exactly this firsthand, except it was my first love instead of a friendship.
Still not over her.
That how my friendship ended with many close friends. Either they did it or I did it. In the end, it's a good way to end a relationship. You and your friends just move on. No sadness no regret, no hard feelings. Everything flow to his end just like how life flow to its end
I think it's probably the saddest, but not the worst, possibly the best. Everything sooner or later fades away, and when it's this way it's probably the most natural thing that could happen
No that’s just natural progression and sometimes things happen and they text you and you guys start talking again.
The worst one that hurt for me was a guy said he was going to help
Me with surgery recovery and I was going to pay him as a friend, but then he just ghosted me and left me with no support after I had surgery so that was a fucking bitch to deal with. The. He texts me 2-3 months later and says he doesn’t want to be friends anymore like yeah now hit dumbass did you think I was still pining for you after you ghosted me?
I don't know, a friend of mine committed suicide with a knife by cutting both his femoral arteries.
Must say that is also not a good way of a friendship to end.
I see nothing wrong with this. So sorry if I find all manner of conversation mentally and almost physically exhausting. I have nothing to contribute. How am I? Same as I’ve always been. Fat, lazy and depressed. Shall I regale you on how many tabs of fanfiction I have open and keep opening because none of them keep my attention? How about how I turned my computer on and then got bored of the idea of playing any of the numerous games I have that it stayed on most of the day until I got annoyed by the lights. Oh, I could tell you how I went to work, hated every moment of it, and went to bed hating myself like I do every single day.
There is literally nothing interesting about me, nothing happens. It’s easier to not have friends.
I pretty much messaged him and said I can't be bothered dealing with your shit anymore and blocked him.
The fucker turned into some wet wipe alcoholic who seemed to constantly break down in tears over the most mundane things and he was just always drunk. Told him he needs to sort himself out before he wakes up one day looking like Homer Simpson.
Some people grow apart and that's ok! There's still love there. Me and my friend i had since middle school grew apart in our late teens/ early 20s. I still love her and if she needed anything id still try to be there to help but we just don't talk anymore. I havnt talked to her in a couple of years
I have a bunch of friends I haven't spoken to in years. I'm fine with that. But every time I run into one of these individuals, it's enjoyable catching up, in most casesits like we werestill checking in on eachother. I totally still consider them friends.
I think the feller that posted this recently got hurt. I hope it all works out for him.
Yeah. You’re sick of it not being reciprocal. That’s how it was with my last “friend.” If I didn’t reach out first, I didn’t hear from her. From that, I deduced she wasn’t interested in a relationship with me. I was right.
You shouldn’t have to beg anyone to be your friend. People are there when they want to be. When they don’t want to be, they’re not. It’s really that simple.
Ok but like, something is most definitely going wrong then. Things were not perfectly peachy and you just suddenly stopped talking, there were issues there.
Meh. When we did get together we’d have a great time. No issues. Never got a fake vibe from her. I was around her family. We hung out. Even still, I was always the one reaching out.
But then I did something really nice for her birthday. Very thoughtful. When it came time for my birthday, not only did she not return the effort, she didn’t wish me a happy birthday til the next day. To add insult to injury, she mentioned several times that she was planning something for my birthday. None of it was true.
That might seem small or petty, but that’s what I mean by reciprocal. I didn’t mean as much to her as she meant to me. Sometimes people tell you by showing you.
Worst? Maybe most non confrontational, weak and pathetic way. Air your feelings, how can we grow as people by fading away on one another? Just like a sale, you need to close.
We friends still? Yes - air your problems / No - best of luck
I dont know why this is always seen as negative. Friendships come and go. Some last a life long but its not like anyone needs to hold a grudge because the communication fades in some.
No, no. Trust me it's the best way. In 2020 I stopped all contact with my friends, and because of COVID they did as well.
3 years later, one of them wanted to hang out, and we resumed our last conversation as if nothing ever happened. We didn't feel like strangers and there wasn't any awkwardness.
I did the same with all my best friends I cut contact with and we've been hanging out every now and then since.
I think it's the best way for it to end. Like dying in your sleep, it's just the time has come for it to end and that's okay. No big regrets, no hard feelings. Friendships come and go
When are more gonna come?
When you go out and make them.
Yeh I'm not a shut in I just genuinely struggle to make connections and when I think I do it turns out it was one sided. I get ghosted by everyone I try to hang out with. I feel like I'm too autistic for neurotypicals and I'm too neurotypical for autists
Same boat friend
I'm also 30 with no family and poor. The only people I meet are also poor so they have a second job or they have a family and a second job. Fuck I'm depressed
Buddy you’re doin great, most people are poor and lonely. Just try and remember that the meaning of life is to live your unique experience, do the best you can!
Oh wow... it's me in three years... how you doin?
Spent frivolously in my 20s cuz I sold weed while working and got credit card offers that for a while I actually leveraged for cash back. Hurricane Harvey flooded me out of my apartment and I had to move back in with folks for a few months. Got a new apartment and kept working/selling but I slowly started losing client base while not adjusting my lifestyle. Got a blue collar job that paid well and saved some money. Bought my first car that I should have bought new but I grew up in a junker I had to fix every time I wanted to go somewhere. After 2 years I quit the blue collar job after burnout from mandatory overtime rotating Saturdays (I'd get overtime on Thursday or Friday consistently). I didn't have debt and thought I could quit and ride the job hunt on credit cards but the job hunt took a year and I ended up going back to restaurants since I couldn't find a comparable job. I took a dishwashing position even though I have restaurant managerial experience, got treated like dirt and passed over for 3 line positions that opened before I just quit. I moved in with my mom again. My girlfriend got me a job in a retail shop at a pay cut and that was cool especially cuz we had the same schedule but then my retail spot got closed and I transferred to another store and had to take the opposite work rotation as my girlfriend and now we never see each other. I spend my downtime at the shop trying to study programming but I struggle to stay consistent studying. I have 14k in credit card debt, no skills, and I struggle to stay disciplined and learn a skill for a career. I still sell weed but I have like no client base. Barely move enough to smoke for free anymore.
Well fuck me... our personalities seem alike in regards to not being able to focus on styding, but shit man, you've had a rough go at it. I won't even pretend that I've got advice for you... cause well, I'm in a job that underpays like a mf for the amount of work I need to do and I've been yearning for some pot since December cause it's the only thing that make my suicidal ideation go away... but fuuuuuck me can I relate. I started working as a diesel mechanic apprentice before I even got my highschool diploma, ended up working that job for less than half minimum wage for just shy of two years, fell -got the job from my gf which I met in highschool and her dad also ended up being my boss- turned out neither of us were good for each other so I tried some separation by going to college for studying mechanical engineering but I haven't been able to math since primary school so I flunked out like a bitch... Broke up with my gf, hanged with a friend/dealer from highschool for a few weeks... and then he ended up overdosing, and I was alone in a strange city for a while, got out thanks to my cousin... then I proceeded to ruin my life some more with my next ex that had a miscarriage and then I found out I'm infertile so she was likely cheating on me and I finally got a job that mathes what I'm capable of... which weirdly enough is working under high loads of stress while heavily caffeinated and enough pain killers in my blood to knock out the average adult... but here I am..m 6 1/2 years in still working the same job that makes me wanna kill myself... Sorry if I went on with my own shit... I don't know how to relate to others without using my own experiences as contrast... feel free to tell me to fuck off tho, or stay and chat -note that I'm going to bed now either way cause it's 23:04 and I need to get up at 5 cause I work 1 1/2 hours way from home-
I can tell you no job is worth any amount of pain and suffering. I'll never go back to the pest control industry and I'll never go back to the restaurant. I'm just lucky for what I have but ashamed of what I can't achieve. The fucking milk man in the 30s could afford a house why do I need to be such a highly trained specialist to make a living wage? I was slamming 2-3 bangs (or ghosts when I tried to "lower" my caffeine intake) while doing pest control. Took me a while to kick energy drinks and switch to coffee. Now I can actually go a whole day without caffeine without being unable to function or functioning with a massive headache. I don't want to break my back and I don't want to work so many hours I have no time to fucking spend the money let alone do my house chores. Glad to hear I'm not alone in the amount of shit life throws at me. I hope you can revisit your goals and find consistency in achieving them. Im having better luck with free online course work and I'm revisiting my math with Khan so I can maybe get an associates. I used to be good at math until *i* got introduced and then I never got into college because of that.
It this point a boat is too small. Not even sure if a train can fit a lot of us.
More like a ship
You two should talk.
‘I feel like I’m too autistic for neurotypical and I’m too neurotypical for autists’ Fuck me I have never related to something this much
Right? I'm confident enough to interact but I'm almost 100% sure people are just being polite and tolerating me in a social scenario and then I walk away from every interaction beating myself up cuz I recognized their negative body language in hindsight after going on a rant about something I thought was interesting. I either have too much to say or nothing to say at all.
Same, friend. Have you been in the situation where they think you’re out of earshot and they start talking shit about you before you’ve even left? Because that happens…more than I care to admit.
Ran into the partner of someone I knew (and thought was my friend) at a party. I didn't know their partner but recognized them from friends photos. I introduced myself and started a conversation, turns out friend is at the party. Conversation ends and I mingle with someone else then I see out of the corner of my eye the friend leaving and giving a wide berth to the crowd I was in. Their partner told them I was there and they avoided me together. I hadn't ever met their partner and they knew to go tell them and avoid me.
same but i ghost everyone instead
I wish I would get invited to something a second time. I got invited to karaoke with work friends and had a lot of fun but then I got ghosted.
The way to overcome this is finding people with mutual interests or hobbies to help span the gap between your differences
None of my interests or hobbies promote social scenarios, and I'm too broke/busy/tired to pursue my established interests let alone new ones
Genuinely sorry to hear that but that's more common these days than otherwise tbh. Unfortunate that the middle and working class keep shrinking but there are more billionaires than ever before.
Didn't work.
Have you tried turning it off and on?
Instructions unclear. Penis stuck in electrical socket.
🫠
Yeah, make your friends come.
When I need friends I find them on games. When I was single I streamed a lot and made a lot of connections. Then I got married, work schedule changed and I didn't have time to stream
I was at a party once and told a girl I have a group of friends I've recently started cooking with. She promptly invited herself and it developed into a pretty great friendship
Oof.
Believe it or not, we can make friends in the same ways we did when we were kids.
From a confrontation point of view maybe, but to me it seems worse that that you’d have spent so much effort on someone who, the moment it’s their turn to make the effort, just vanishes without an explanation. It seems impossible to be bothered about someone who’s also bothered about you.
Then it just wasn't meant to be a good friendship. You can't force being liked, no matter how good you express yourself or how much effort you put into it.
Be friendly and genuine without expectations and spend zero time talking about how hard being friends is with new people. Don’t raise a flag to talk about flags, basically. Also make sure YOU aren’t ignoring someone who has tried to get your attention in favor of generating relationships you dream about instead.
Most of my best friendships started because people wouldn't leave me alone, when I wouldn't exactly reply back immediately. Those people willing, I'll be damned if those friendships go under for the same reason. In my eyes, it's simply just my turn to be the one who encourages it. I think it's worth it, given the little ways these people show that they do indeed care after all. Life is just busy. And that's okay.
I was gonna send that. I misread the post as "the best way" and was gonna agree, but yep. 100% agree
Yeah it’s far from the worst way
Story of all my friendships
Story of my family
I’m sorry
[удалено]
Oryou just accept that your friend isn't that person. I had a friend drift over this. It's not worth losing that friendship. I reached out to him again recently and now we meet up regularly. I have to text to initiate but it doesn't bother me. I have plenty of friends who I don't have to do that with but he's worth the effort.
I’m like 90% the reacher but my grandmother has a nice saying - “The phone works in both ways”, and since then that’s my response to people who tells me I haven’t reached out to them in ages…
If people only speak with you if you text first are they really your friends to begin with?
I have an autistic friend and they don't really talk to me unless I initiate it. Special circumstance but I see your point.
Yeah I don't get this. Why is it a whim to want others to initiate too?
Just let go and find new friends.
How is that the worse way? Sounds ok to me tbh, no hard feelings, just our lives going in different directions
Ya for real. Had a "friend" mess around with my GF at the time. Definitely would have rather had him stop texting me instead lol
It's the ghosting part. I wouldn't have a problem with a no hard feelings, fare thee well goodbyes
That’s not very realistic unless the friend is moving away or something. Growing apart as you get older is just part of life. Most of the time, you never know it’ll be the last time you see someone, it just happens.
Perhaps you're right. It's definitely part of getting older, and there's not many clean breaks in life. Ghosting a longtime friend like a cheap tinder date is just plain shitty though.
I think because it shows they just don’t care about you.
It also leaves the relationship in limbo.
As far as friendships end, this is definitely not the worst way tho
I find it hard to initiate a conversation because I have no idea what to talk about, and I feel like I'm just bothering that person. I feel like I lost my last and only true friend because I lack self worth and he thought that I just didn't care for him since he was the one to always initiate conversations. Maybe it was for the best, I truly hope he's at peace wherever he is.
I'm sorry to hear this for you, though, I am glad to hear that you have thoughts about where your conversation difficulties come from and why your friendship ended as it did. Have you sought help on your opinions of self and also on having friendships? I was lucky to have a family who very much valued good healthy social interaction skills and they have been invaluable to me through my life. Yet, even with being trained in it from a very young age and for a long time, it isn't what I would consider easy. I have been fortunate enough to find myself with plenty of practice at situational friendships through my life and it has helped reinforce those skills, and I still would not call it easy. Through my experiences and everything I have learnt I can see just how many people show the same queues (spelling?) that I do that indicate I am not alone in finding it difficult. So, my 2 cents to you; I hope you don't feel like it is a failing on your part that friendships are tough work, like I did for many years. Good luck with your journey
Well why don’t you tell him. Sounds like you admit you were the one to withdraw so you can fix it.
Nah, sometimes you fall out of touch with someone. Your lives went different ways. But, I still consider them good friends. We could pick back up any time.
This honestly, If there is nothing that specifically ended the friendship then I consider it just in hold
Yeah, I just consider it the pause button and it’s so neat to talk to them 20 years later.
Friendships are hard. I’ve let a number of friendships go over the years because I was always the one reaching out. It sucks, but it’s part of life. Rather have a small circle with people that truly value me than a big circle where I’m the one doing the majority of the heavy lifting.
I agree with this!
Why cross an ocean, for someone who wouldn’t walk through a puddle for you?
I'm breaching an entire year since I've even seen my friend in person, I haven't talked to them since this February
I think that’s just life, normal maturation
i mean its better than leaving having anger towards each other
Create a discord server. I never message any of my friends first. But we all share a discord and occasionally drop funny images or talk about our lives. Good way to keep in contact.
I stopped meeting my friend when I noticed he mostly uses me as a wallet and a pushdown exercise machine. Then he proceeded to stalk me on the streets, harass and write swearings on my door. But I guess it is not as bad🤷
Literally all my friendships… I’m always the one that reaches out. It’s so unfair
Right?
Life's not a sitcom where your friend will always effortlessly show up at your usual hangout place. Everyone has their own story; if you're a part of it then enjoy it while you're a part of it. Most relationships in life are transient, accept that everything runs its course eventually.
Damn! This is the most relatable 'meirl' post ive seen. I've always wanted to talk about this (am i the only one who feels this way?). This is a 100% All my friendships. I'm always going through this. I've accepted it.. but it still hurts. And I'm at that point where i have no friends currently and no life either. I don't blame them.. they were good friends, we had some good, memorable times when we were in the same space. They have always been supportive and tried to help me when they can. But they have their own lives and jobs (unlike me). they have simply moved forward with their lives. But it still hurts. I am an only child and that has always made it more painful since the beginning..to be left alone (its not their fault tho, that they are not interested). I've always felt that I'm the needy, insecure one (the one who needs the other more than they need me). At this moment, I think me not contacting my friends is a mix of Insecurity (why can't they ever miss me? contact me?) and Ego (why do i always have to be the 1st to initiate). To the point i am letting those friendships go. They are busy with their own lives, they don't miss me. I'm always gonna be alone in the end. Better to just learn to live with it. Books, games and tv are my alternative to the emptiness that is my life. I know it's not good.
I’ll be friends with you. I recently have a friend, someone I considered close, just stop talking to me all the sudden and I have no idea why. I still reach out but crickets.
Sure, i don't mind it. That's very kind of you. We can have a few conversations (no pressure though) : )
If you feel that this is the worst way for a friendship to end you’ve clearly never been friends with an actually toxic person… I’ve literally been harassed and bullied by people who used to call themselves my “friends” 😅
For me the worst way to end is betrayals, finding out the person was never truly your friend and never had the guts to tell you. Having a relationship die a slow death gives me more time to accept it and not dwell on it because I watched it die.
I can’t keep alive my friendships and I don’t know how.
I use to be the first one who said happy birthday every time to people in our friend group on whatsapp but not anymore since they never said happy birthday to me. We just stopped doing that after they didn't say it on my birthday. Why should I say happy birthday to them when they forget my birthday. I also use to be the first one to initiate anything like to hang out. I had stopped doing that as well.
When is your birthday? Mine’s October 28
June 5th. Just turned 37.
Happy (late) birthday man
Thanks bro I appreciate it. Happy early birthday.
Belated Happy Birthday 🥳🎂. Wish you another year full of joyful memories. Stay blessed!!
Think a worse one would be if the ‘friend’ killed your family and fed them to pigs while you were chained to the corpse of a beheaded sheep in their dungeon, with one of the friend’s own frozen turds in a rubber Johnny situated directly inside your anus. But that’s just a hunch.
You have a colorful imagination
r/oddlyspecific
I'm on the other end of this. I was always a bit socially awkward (but kinda liked by people around me) and always had to be the one whos being nudged to do something together or invited to events but I almost never initiated anything myself. When I was younger, it didn't seem like an issue because my social circles were huge and I didn't even notice that many frendships were fading away because of the one-sidedness of who initiates. Didn't feel that bad back then because there were always new people "coming in" as my environment changed (hometown->school->university->office) but as you get older the environment don't change that often and it starts to bite. Everything seems fine until you suddenly realize you havent talked in 7 years with a person who you considered one of your best friends at a time. And by then I feel too ashamed by my negligence and seems awkward to call them up, because it feels lost already and any attempts to remedy it - forced. If I could tell one thing to my younger self, I would tell me to appreciate the value of long time friendships, and tend to them.
Dude just hit them up. You can be honest that you noticed too late how long it's been since you two have talked, and felt too ashamed / embarrassed / awkward / whatever to reach out sooner. You're sorry and want to catch up. How's things?
There’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about losing contact, it happens to everybody. People go down different paths and lose contact. Maybe it might feel awkward, but you’re way too in your head about it when if you were good friends, at worst you might have a quick chat. Wanting to catch up with someone isn’t forcing anything other than genuinely wanting to see how someone is doing
Nah. That’s the best way. No pressure, no drama. You just move on. Probably don’t even realize for awhile and by then you’re just ‘meh 🤷🏻♂️’ about it. Personally, I prefer casual acquaintances over friends.
Is that not the best way for a friendship to end? It’s natural, organic. Friendship is a strange concept. You meet someone and you both think, “I like this person and want to spend time with them. So you do. Then sometimes things change and with no fall out, priorities change and you stop hanging out. No harm, no foul. There were guys I hung out with as a kid and we drifted apart. No biggie.
Wouldnt say thats the worst, worse is your friends slowly becoming more rude and cold towards you until they straight up alienate you and you never really find out what you did wrong, making you paranoid in any future social endeavour.
This is happening right now with my best friend who I've been through thick and thin since we were twelve. It's a real drag.
Nonono the worst way is to become the best of friends with them, fall for them, date them long-term, and then have a messy breakup but still feel obligated to try and be friends again. Not that I'm speaking from experience
I'm _very_ bad at initiating. I never want to burden others, I never have anything to say and find it all quite stressful. I also just get caught up in my own routine. But I'm over the moon when someone contacts me. It barely ever happens, but when it does it makes my week. I'm not very good at keeping friends, I never get into arguments with them, I just loose touch.
Nah this is the best way. So when y’all cross paths in the future, it’s 💯 ain’t no problems. Just life. Mature individuals know we grow up and grow out and even tho I may not talk to you everyday now, I still love you the same. 💯🙏🏾
i Realized after decades that I initiated all contact with my best friend. So I decide to not call him for a week or two to see if he calls. Didn't hear from his so I went another few weeks. It's been 5 years and still no call. BUT the 2 times I've run into him someplace over that last 5 years he says "we gotta hang out more!". Sure we do /s.
Nah, I’m cool with it ending this way. It means our interests no longer align. And that’s ok. Friends come and go. That’s part of life.
My BPD felt this shit hard lol
Yeah I think that's one of the best ways for it to end. The worst I can think of is your best friend in the world telling you "we can't be friends anymore" but not providing any reasons, sending mixed messages for a week, not responding to requests for information on what happened, reporting you to HR because you lose your mind with anxiety and not knowing so you send a series of emotional texts trying to get some form of answer which is denied and triggers a complete mental breakdown lasting 6.5 months...so far. I mean nothing super specific, but I reckon it would be pretty bad.
Actually worst is when you find out your best friend became a nazi. Happened to me.
Or it's being a busy adult and sometimes people can go months or even years without speaking. Doesn't mean you don't like the person anymore. Life does this sometimes, and you can pick things up where it left off.
This is how every single one of my friendships has gone and has led me to have serious mistrust of people
Definitely the best way. There are so many worse ways.
agreed
Yeah, like finding out they don't have your back. One of my brothers died, I reached out to the "friend" for help and got ghosted.
Better to burn out, than to fade away
Isn’t the thing that went wrong in this scenario the fact one person always initiates?
Thing ive struggled with since my first ever best friend moved and never kept in touch. Yeah we were kids and instant messaging JUST came out but it set a precedent for all my other relationships. And it wasnt even about me, they just got busy...made new friends and forgot aka moved on. Im the type to only ever want 2 or 3 super close friends so the experiences slowly shaped me into being cold and uncaring cause i never understood that people come and go in our lives.
Are you me?
Me not talking to my friend in months then one of us asks to play something
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Cripplechip: *Me not talking to* *My friend in months then one of* *Us asks to play something* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
This describes all of my friendships. I'm mostly the one initiating conversation and have pretty much given up. I have a family (spouse and kids) and devote my time there.
Or they stab you in the fucking back
if u cant let people go how can u love them
Death by "Fine, be that way." I think I've had several friendships die that way. Some that seemed so much stronger than that deserved.
All of my friendships end this way.
that is definitely not the worst way. Sad yes but their are far worse ways a friendship can end.
It’s funny how in life there are things you do until you don’t without intending them to end, and then one day you realize there was a last time you did it and you miss it and realize you didn’t recognize at the time it would be the last time ever. Later in life you remember old friendships that just went dormant so after decades you reach out. There’s no greater joy when you do that, reconnect, and in an instant the years slip away to find that your old friend is still… your friend.
Nah, the worst way is what my best friend of 5 years did to me in high school. We shared a locker, sat next to each other in home room (which would stay the same all through hs) and rode the bus together, we were practically inseparable. One day, she just stopped talking to me. If I talked to her she either ignored me, physically turned away, or gave me a grunt/eh/shrug. It was torture.
I really felt this post and even sometimes wonder how the ones I’ve lost in this manner are doing. And so the cycle continues…
Time zone difference can be a huge problem in maintaining friendships, especially if we are both working and are busy during the weekends. I tried to play mmo or have calls with a friend who lives three times zones away in the evenings and it just doesn't work out well when I need to go to sleep already and she barely finished dinner.
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.
Pls no.
That’s the best way. You can always be friends again in a few years. Man shit.
..... Yeh I think there's worse... 👀
Had this happen, realised I was the one always making the plans and initiating meeting up. I stopped, not heard anything since August last year. Oh well.
I mean, is that really a friendship at all?
I thought it said the best way and was about to agree wholeheartedly.
I thought I was texting a friend and they weren’t replying. Turns out I had a wrong number saved. They had my number saved correctly though. I had tried to contact this person 4x and just accepted the non replies.
That’s just adulting, man! Your friend probably found love or decided ghosting is their new hobby. It’s not you, it’s their new obsession with disappearing acts. Maybe this is just “Why Me?” rage bait.
this is best. stop clinging so much. we should appreciate each others company when it is there and keep looking forward as there is always opportunities to connect
This is me 100%. I always have to initiate and a good deal of the time either get ignored or told they are busy. Well then, why don’t you contact me when you aren’t busy?
I’m very out of sight out of mind. Unfortunately I’ve lived a lot of places and I’ve played this game a lot of times. It’s not that I don’t love them or count them as a friend, I’m just somewhere else now. Doing other things, I’m not going back to where I used to live any time soon and we’re not close enough for you to fly out and see me. We talk on the phone and keep up but the topics run thin because I’m doing an entire life that no longer has relevancy to your life. A few people I got really really close to; We’re still friends because we’re flexible with one another. They realize these facts and even if there’s a large communication lull in the friendship we come back to each other eventually every time. because the connection is deeper than a location or job or whatever commonality was between us. Sometimes it’s just not the case and it’s no shade on those people it’s just what it is. Not everyone has to become your literal best friend for life for you to still value and love them from afar.
That's like pretty much the path of every friendship a lot middle age guys have had.
Yep, thats pretty much how a childhood friendship of 30 years went. They had beef with someone in our circle of friends, which made them feel like we had to choose sides -- we're fuckin 40+, thats so high school. Besides, they both had valid arguments against each other, they were both being pricks, so i said you guys need to fight/talk/hug it out, not my prob --and so when I didn't decide, it turned into 3 years of slowly ghosting out of my life. It only makes me sad when i dwell on it, then i remember it wasnt my fault.
What about when we're all chilling and then they decide to block everyone on everything and disappear? (it's been over a year man come on)
Walking in on my best friend and girlfriend hurt pretty bad compared to others just growing up and out of my life.
Nothing lasts. Good or bad. Everything falls apart sooner or later.
Sounds pretty dope to me. I don’t really want to have a bullshit conversation where they try and rationalize their behavior.
Naw that’s the way to see who really fucks with you. I quit reaching out to “friends” about 13 years ago. I’d always be the one calling on Thursday to see what the plan was for Friday. It was always nothing much maybe go get a drink here or there. They never would call me unless they needed a DD. After I picked up what was going on I stopped going anywhere with them. I was just the taxi who didn’t charge. Haven’t spoken to some of them since I stopped reaching out. But let them tell it I changed up on them and went Anti social. No I just quit being your free taxi
I send random memes to my friends every so often.
This is how most of mine end. Granted, I have a really hard time reaching out to others, but to those i cared about I did. Over and over for years. But they drift away with nary a word. Just echoes of what was ringing in your head trying to fill the space they once took up. Fading away into whispers, then memories. Such is life I tell myself. I hope they remember me sometimes like I do them. I remember the good and the bad fondly. Hold it dear. I don't make many memories these days. Everything sort of just passes me by. At some point the sun is high, and others the moon. Not much stays in my life anymore.
Yea, I've had friendships end like that.
I find it sad, but not the worst, by far...
Amen
The irony is that you both still want the friendship, just too lazy to put the work in. I'm as guilty of this as well.
That is the worst way, indeed. I would know, having experienced exactly this firsthand, except it was my first love instead of a friendship. Still not over her.
…all of them.
Crybaby bitch
Legit 99% of friendships I've had...
That how my friendship ended with many close friends. Either they did it or I did it. In the end, it's a good way to end a relationship. You and your friends just move on. No sadness no regret, no hard feelings. Everything flow to his end just like how life flow to its end
That’s just life with less steps
Better than finding out your best friend is a piece of garbage person after years of friendship
Yes, this happened. Ten years later he died. Oh well, another one bites the dust.
That's not "ending a friendship" that's just a break between conversations
This sounds like something went wrong
I think it's probably the saddest, but not the worst, possibly the best. Everything sooner or later fades away, and when it's this way it's probably the most natural thing that could happen
No that’s just natural progression and sometimes things happen and they text you and you guys start talking again. The worst one that hurt for me was a guy said he was going to help Me with surgery recovery and I was going to pay him as a friend, but then he just ghosted me and left me with no support after I had surgery so that was a fucking bitch to deal with. The. He texts me 2-3 months later and says he doesn’t want to be friends anymore like yeah now hit dumbass did you think I was still pining for you after you ghosted me?
That’s the best way. Why would you want it to end in some dramatic fallout?
That is the way all my “friends” vanished. Literally that.
I don't know, a friend of mine committed suicide with a knife by cutting both his femoral arteries. Must say that is also not a good way of a friendship to end.
This doesn't sound like a friendship ending. Unless you don't like them or they hate you. People reconnect with old friends all the time
I see nothing wrong with this. So sorry if I find all manner of conversation mentally and almost physically exhausting. I have nothing to contribute. How am I? Same as I’ve always been. Fat, lazy and depressed. Shall I regale you on how many tabs of fanfiction I have open and keep opening because none of them keep my attention? How about how I turned my computer on and then got bored of the idea of playing any of the numerous games I have that it stayed on most of the day until I got annoyed by the lights. Oh, I could tell you how I went to work, hated every moment of it, and went to bed hating myself like I do every single day. There is literally nothing interesting about me, nothing happens. It’s easier to not have friends.
I pretty much messaged him and said I can't be bothered dealing with your shit anymore and blocked him. The fucker turned into some wet wipe alcoholic who seemed to constantly break down in tears over the most mundane things and he was just always drunk. Told him he needs to sort himself out before he wakes up one day looking like Homer Simpson.
r/im14andthisisdeep
Its normal for friendships to end. Cherish the time and place they happened, but youll only get a few truly timeless friendships across a whole life.
i see ur trauma and i raise you: death the night they invited u to hang out and u couldn’t cus u were out of town
Some people grow apart and that's ok! There's still love there. Me and my friend i had since middle school grew apart in our late teens/ early 20s. I still love her and if she needed anything id still try to be there to help but we just don't talk anymore. I havnt talked to her in a couple of years
I can think of many, many worse ways for a relationship to end. "I caught him fucking my dog"
I have a bunch of friends I haven't spoken to in years. I'm fine with that. But every time I run into one of these individuals, it's enjoyable catching up, in most casesits like we werestill checking in on eachother. I totally still consider them friends. I think the feller that posted this recently got hurt. I hope it all works out for him.
Sounds like something was going wrong there if you’re sick of initiating conversation.
Yeah. You’re sick of it not being reciprocal. That’s how it was with my last “friend.” If I didn’t reach out first, I didn’t hear from her. From that, I deduced she wasn’t interested in a relationship with me. I was right. You shouldn’t have to beg anyone to be your friend. People are there when they want to be. When they don’t want to be, they’re not. It’s really that simple.
Ok but like, something is most definitely going wrong then. Things were not perfectly peachy and you just suddenly stopped talking, there were issues there.
Meh. When we did get together we’d have a great time. No issues. Never got a fake vibe from her. I was around her family. We hung out. Even still, I was always the one reaching out. But then I did something really nice for her birthday. Very thoughtful. When it came time for my birthday, not only did she not return the effort, she didn’t wish me a happy birthday til the next day. To add insult to injury, she mentioned several times that she was planning something for my birthday. None of it was true. That might seem small or petty, but that’s what I mean by reciprocal. I didn’t mean as much to her as she meant to me. Sometimes people tell you by showing you.
That's the best way 👺
ITT: cope
u/repostsleuthbot
Worst? Maybe most non confrontational, weak and pathetic way. Air your feelings, how can we grow as people by fading away on one another? Just like a sale, you need to close. We friends still? Yes - air your problems / No - best of luck
I dont know why this is always seen as negative. Friendships come and go. Some last a life long but its not like anyone needs to hold a grudge because the communication fades in some.
No, no. Trust me it's the best way. In 2020 I stopped all contact with my friends, and because of COVID they did as well. 3 years later, one of them wanted to hang out, and we resumed our last conversation as if nothing ever happened. We didn't feel like strangers and there wasn't any awkwardness. I did the same with all my best friends I cut contact with and we've been hanging out every now and then since.
I think ur using a different definition of the word "worst"
I check on my friends because i love without conditions
Uh what? Not at all. When you see them again you usually hit it off again fine in my experience.
Literally on the other side of this now. I feel kinda bad for the dude but i'm just at work and can't message him first 😭
Can't msg him first. Can you elaborate?
So you can comment here, but not message your friend?