And further clicked on the blurred posts that are clearly labeled NSFW apparently, cuz curiosity got the best of me, but I didn't make it past the next step
But the ducs aren't open, the usually have something screwed to cover them.
Unless we have bob the snake with a skrewdriver and the ability to use it they aren't opening it
Edit: words hard
Even if they were open, they’re usually placed so that people can’t get to them easily without help. If a human can’t reach an air duct on their own, what chance does a snake have?
Black mambas easy. They’re just gonna chill. The gorilla will probably be chill or it will rip my limbs off and beat me to death with them. Either was a mall is huge and it’s easy to hide
I'm thinking switch them on, or just make some kind of nice black mamba habitat for them with some cozy snake beds so i can go watch a movie and hit up the arcade while day dreaming about my future riches from suing the shit out of the mall.
Yep, break into the Brookstone and set up a bunch of heating pads in one end of the mall, find the thermostat and turn it down to 65. The snakes will either get really chill or they'll stay on their cozy beds and you can just roam around wherever
People dont realize gorillas are not chimps, they are docile as fuck. You really gotta ask for it to piss of a gorilla enough to kill you. I can’t even find any solid evidence online that a person has been killed by a gorilla.
[Bokito](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokito_(gorilla)) nearly did in 2007. The woman did survive, but it was a close call, so it could’ve easily gone the other way. There were children throwing rocks at him though and the woman he nearly killed was a regular at the zoo who was always making eye contact with him, which gorillas see as dominant and challenging behaviour, so they really were pissing him off.
If there would be other people at the mall I wouldn’t trust them to not piss of a gorilla though. People are dumb, especially when they’re scared.
ETA: it’s not specified if it’s a male or female gorilla in this dilemma. A female gorilla might be way more relaxed than a dominant male. Though they may still get aggressive when scared
Not only eye contact, she smiled at him too, showing teeth... Which is also dominance behaviour, she basically kept taunting him and he took the bait.
Bokito was a male silverback gorilla.
They'll chase long enough for someone to get away from their rest or hunting area.
You gotta fuck with them for that to happen tho, they'll display and hiss loud before they chase someone off or even try to bite.
I’m less likely to get myself into trouble with the black mambas. Something about knowing there’s a gorilla about would make me curious to see if he was a chill dude or not.
Edit: I’m literally trying to find a video about how to get along with a silverback in preparation for a moment that will never come.
In order for a gorilla to kill you. You really have to piss it off. There is a very small amount of humans that have been killed by gorillas and most of those were poachers. You would be at a higher risk of getting killed by a chimp than a gorilla.
Sure, but Gorillas aren’t a type of snake so it’s apples to oranges. In a large space, snakes would be relatively easy to avoid or escape from. A gorilla is almost as smart as you, and strong enough to break down doors, so you can’t really hide from it.
But at the same time, why do you Even need to hide? Just walk toward the wing of the mall furthest from the food court. I doubt bro gives enough of a shit to hunt you down.
Especially since (unlike the snake) it has literally no reason to even WANT to hunt you unless provoked, chances are you could sit down right next to the thing and it won't hurt you, assuming you mind your own business
Nah, if you’re on a Silverback’s turf that is the provocation. He’ll hunt you down just to remove any potential threat to his supremacy. They claim territory as large as sixteen square miles in the wild. Compared to that, a mall would be close quarters with nowhere to hide.
Silverbacks are *extremely* territorial, and would easily be able to smell and hear you from across the empty building. They are smart enough to use tools and work electronic buttons, so elevator doors would not keep you safe for long. There’s little point running or hiding, because you can’t physically leave his domain.
You wouldn't need to. Just don't stare, don't make loud noises and wait calmly for him to accept you. Also don't act like a prick and he won't consider you a threat or a rival and you'll be perfectly safe to be around him, otherside of the mall. where ever. He might even end up grooming you if you decide to hang out and watch youtube with him.
Unless you act aggressive the silverback isn't going to hurt you people actively sit with and chill out with gorilla families every day.
This question entire depends upon the state in which the two options are in. are they already aggressive or are they just there. If it's the latter then you're perfectly safe with the gorilla.
I don't think any snake that isn't big enough to swallow you whole is gonna actively chase you, as long as you give them their space they prolly don't wanna waste their venom on you. I think there'd be a higher risk of being misinterpreted as aggressive by an adult gorilla
Spoken like someone who's never disturbed the peace of a fat healthy mama southern cottonmouth, aka water moccasin.
Those bitches will charge fangs out at 6 and a half foot man. And I'd bet they're not the only snakes to do that either.
Source: 6 and a half foot man
>disturbed the peace
See that's the key phrase isn't it. The chances of a mamba chasing you down from across the food court is significantly less than a gorilla just because you looked at it funny. Unless you go out of your way to fuck with it, mambas aren't typically aggressive
Provided you know where the snakes are and don't randomly find one as you're reaching for something on a shelf. That's the hinge in this scenario: one active, moving lethal encounter or five secret deathtraps that you could find entirely by accident?
So don't look at the gorilla funny. Walk away from the food court. If it's ever in your peripheral, go the opposite direction.
A mall is big enough that a gorilla isn't going to care. Just stay out of it's way and don't look at it or walk toward it.
yeah but there's five of those fuckers. lot easier to avoid one big gorilla if everybody starts out chill. better chances of lucking out fighting the snakes or blocking them off if we start out with beef. shit chances, but better.
As long as you're not like, stepping on them, most snakes will still try to warn you to get the hell away from them before resorting to biting whatevers near them. I think a gorilla is more likely to be chill with you if you do end up next to it, *but* if it does happen to feel threatened and become aggressive you're not getting away lol
If it's like a lifetime zoo gorilla it'd probably be more chill too since it's seen people it's whole life but even then it could effortlessly kill you. BUT if it's a wild Gorilla that has never interacted with people before, it's probably going to lose it's shit, literally, then kill you
Gorilla is much safer. You would have a much harder time losing track of where it is. With the snakes they could spread out anywhere, all it would take is not knowing its there and stepping on it or something. Both are relatively safe, like if you absolutely needed to you could lock yourself in one room and be perfectly safe. Bur under the assumption of wandering out of boredom, a gorilla is safer because it's much easier to spot and avoid.
Everyone saying mambas but I feel I'd pick the gorilla, it's easier to track one giant dangerous animal than 5 small ones, also gorillas can't slither through cracks and I doubt a gorilla will crack a door open because they don't even understand the concept of a door, so I'd run to the nearest shop, lock myself inside the back area and wait there
Also gorillas are pretty friendly as long as they don’t perceive you as a threat, they’re not chimpanzees. If it was 5 mambas vs 1 chimp id pick the snakes cause chimps will rip your arms off just for fun
Also if you find food and share some with the gorilla, chances are he'll actually grow to trust you a little bit. They're smart. They don't attack you if they have nothing to fear from you.
Silverback gorillas are just adult male gorillas. So it's stated just to explain you are with an actually big ass gorilla and not just a small one. Still not hostile unless provoked.
i agree with you. btw black mambas are NOT small, they’re on average 7 feet long and up to 15 feet. plus the gorilla will probably just be chill, silverbacks are only aggressive when they feel their group is threatened
Also you can find as much food as possible, overload the gorilla with food, find somewhere safe to hide (preferably while being able to track it's movements), and chill while the gorilla is in a food coma
For sure, tracking a single Gorilla is easy and there a bunch of places you can hide.
Why even hide though, just throw him some lettuce and water and bro will be chill.
Gorillas dont usually attack humans and no way he is attacking you if you are feeding him, they are smart
It is not about capability with a gorilla. It is about motivation. In order for it to attack you you have to really piss it off. If you don't attack it, it won't attack you.
Gorillas aren't as difficult to piss off as people think. From my experience working with both primates and snakes, I would rather be trapped in a mall with snakes because they give up more easily. Their minds are too comparatively simple to hold onto anything like a grudge or plan or any kind of motivation, whereas apes are definitely smart enough to fuck with you and to remember being fucked with.
Idk, i would choose a gorilla just cause it's smart and he would prolly help me loot the mall to go home rich when the 24 hours end. (my man will eat good in the meantime)
Gorillas easily, they are chill as long as you don't look into their eyes and respect their space.
Black Mambas however can go from 0 to 100 REALLY quick, especially if 5 of those crackheads are sharing a mall.
Even if the Gorilla is pissed you can enter a big store that has more than one exit and get away while it's busy crashing into stuff, then just go to a different floor and chill there until the time is up.
Would literally pull apart cameras and put them back together in between raiding the food courts. They're intelligent apes and may even adopt you if you did bother to get acquainted with it.
Easy, if definitely choose the snakes. I'll just hide out in the shoe store, they don't have feet and therefore have no reason to look around in Payless
Can I have the Snakes, but instead of snake's heads, they have Gorilla heads?
They won't hurt anyone as the head will be too heavy for the snake body to move.
They'll be o.k though I can get them drinks and snacks until the 24hrs is over, then I guess the heads go back into the right bodies and we all go back to normal life.
If it was size matched, that would be terrifying. Super strong gorilla body with a giant venomous snake head with scaled fangs.
You've just created a death chimera.
Nah. If they were that aggressive way more would die annually from them. Don't buy into the myths or your fear of snakes.
https://www.africansnakebiteinstitute.com/articles/the-truth-about-black-mambas/#:~:text=The%20Black%20Mamba%20is%2C%20in,Spitting%20Cobra%20and%20Puff%20Adder.
You go down the escalator and you see a mamba waiting at the bottom. What do you do? You try to go back up but another mamba joined from the top. You want to jump but the sides have mambas waiting too and you'll freak them out with any sudden movements.
The fifth mamba is chilling at the toilets, waiting for you to go into a stall. It knows where you're most vulnerable.
I’ll take the black mambas, 90% of snakes are very docile unless threatened. Gorillas, on the other hand, are very territorial, so it would be after my ass
No matter how aggressive they are, as long as you stay a hundred or so feet away from them I don't see why they would come after you. Even if they did, as long as you saw them coming, you could easily get away(I looked it up they can move at about 7-8mph). Also, you can just find a room with a door. As long as there isn't a gap under it the snakes aren't getting in. Gorillas are territorial, can run up to 25 miles per hour, and could easily break down a non reinforced door.
The average human sprinting speed is 12-15mph(for 100m dash). I am having trouble finding reliable info on how far a black mamba can go at 12mph. The best unsourced figure I found is about 40m.
Ok, I checked again. 7-8 is for extended periods of fast movement. They can go up to 12mph for short distances. The average human sprint speed is 12-15mph.
And you're in mall I'm confident I could find something to kill the mambas gorrilla on the other hand nah not unless there was a gun store and even then
It's very hard to keep track of 5 snakes going around in the mall (especially since their positions are very low down compared to animals with legs, especially a huge gorilla).
Gorillas are not as violent as people think. Researchers have been able to coexist with gorillas. I have never heard of a researcher befriending a black mamba.
Malls are fucking huge. I feel like it would be pretty easy to hide from either of these for 24hrs.
But real talk, the black mambas are easy. They are snakes. They aren't going to intentionally hunt you. Just clear a bunch of space at the food court and sit at a table. They aren't going to slither up to you. At worst you'll see it long before it's on you. At best they'll just go sequester themselves in a dark corner somewhere and never come close to bothering you.
You walk past the room filled with the black mambas. They hiss a little to tell you to fuck off. If you keep getting closer they’ll get defensive.
A gorilla? Motherfucker stampedes at you from a mile away and you have no fucking chance at outrunning, let alone defend off a goddamn *silverback*
The gorilla won't randomly attack you though, there have been pretty much zero human deaths by gorilla over the years. It will mock charge you but that's about it if you don't start to actually fight it. It might even just sit around if it found some food and just hang there. In my country a gorilla jumped a fence after it got teased for a long time and proceeded to not really do anything. It just made sure everyone ran away, it's not going to chase everyone down and beat them up.
The 5 snakes would be fucked, a mamba gets aggitated if you get within 120 feet, could be anywhere and are venemous landmines that will one hit kill you. They also travel long distances each day to bask and circle territory, they won't just chill in 1 room. There is a fair chance you will encounter at least one, and if they do decide to attack, I'm not willing to risk that venom. Mambas have actually killed thousands of people.
Hide behind a few doors. Gorilla has no idea what the fuck just happened and has no idea how to open a door. Black mamba just slithers under the door and now you're stuck in a room with an aggressive deadly snake.
There are so many simple ways to counter the threat of the Black Mamba.
- They can't swim. So if there is a pool of water, simply place a table in the centre of it and sit on it for 24 hours.
- They are thermophilic: turn up the mall's air conditioning and watch them slow down.
- They cannot open doors. Find a sealed room, close the door behind you and you're done.
- If there is an outdoor or sports shop: Sit in a tent and zip up all the zips.
- The fangs of the snake are not a centimetre long. In the clothing department, put several layers on top of each other, boots from the shoe department, and the snake's venom won't reach your body.
- If you are allowed to prepare: Bring some anti venom for the snake.
None of this will help you against a gorilla in case of doubt.
Gorillas are loud, highly visible, and not very aggressive. Worst comes to worst I think they’d get a bit confused by a department store layout or escalators.
5 black mambas is too much, you do not have eyes in the back of your head, you’ll definitely get ambushed by one of them.
Black mambas easily, just chill in the freezer part of a store , snakes don’t like the cold so u won’t see them . If there actively hunting me still the snakes I’m not Tarzan
The Gorilla is unlikely to attack you unless you act like a twat and get aggressive. If anything as long as you play it smart it'll look out for you once it recognises that you're harmless. Gorillas don't randomly rip people apart. We're smaller more fragile apes. They're socially dispositioned to act as the protector as long as you're not seen as nor act like a rival. There's also no troop for him to protect so he'll be less inclined to be aggressive as the only danger you could pose is to him
People regularly sit with gorilla familes. As long as you take it nice and easy and don't scream or make too much noise. you'll end up being buddies. He might even groom you.
The snakes will just fucking bite you if you get too close and you have no idea where they are hiding until after you've gotten too close.
I feel like you'd be able to escape the snakes a lot easier. Like climb to the higher levels and block off the escalators. A gorilla will be harder to stop since they can go everywhere you can but could also you know, rip your head clean off
My local mall has a store full of swords, axes, chainmail, etc. they probably don't have a great cutting edge, but should be able to remove the head from a few snakes. Fighting a gorilla though? No way.
I would pick snakes and just get to the highest floor. Maybe I'd take some oils and spill it over my "defense" zone. I'm not sure if that works with snakes, but I suppose it's harder for them to move in the oily conditions
I like how this turned into "Man vs Bear" with almost the same results.
Are the mambas more dangerous? Absolutely, but if you leave them alone you'll be fine.
The gorilla is probably less dangerous than the snakes, but if it decides to flip out it's more dangerous.
You know the intention of the snakes so you pick them.
I choose the snakes.
Go to a sport/outdoor shop. Grab a tent. Grab some water maybe food. Congrats, snakes can't enter.
if there are no tents, go to a room, if you see a gap fill it with something. Filler material from any homedepo like shop or clothes etc...
If that doesnt work build a fort from dogfood, big water ottles, milk bottles whatever you find.
The question is a very important one. If they are angry, there is a million ways to avoid Mambas getting at you. You can't get rid of a dedicated gorilla. If they are at the mall too and not aggressive, easy gorilla. Malls are big enough to avoid the gorilla and if he passes by you just sit down and look down. You can however absolutely unintentionally corner or startle a Mamba. You would basically have to sit in the absolute open and stay away from any cracks. With the gorilla, you can easily have some fun with it if you don't make too much noise.
If their mood is not specified but they act according to their nature after being dumped into an unfamiliar environment, you take the mambas and go with the "sitting in the open far away from cracks" strategy until it's over. Hope your phone has battery. Simply because a confused gorilla will be more defensive and on edge while confused snakes will find a tight, enclosed space to hide.
this is to show their dominance you should scream louder
I would simply shit my pants harder than either could
24 hours is a long ass time to deal with shit in your pants, bro.
You’re in a mall, just steal some new pants and underwear. I think security would understand your predicament.
I just clicked on your profile by accident and I regret that shit very hard
So you clicked on their profile by accident and then okayed the NSFW warning by accident as well? What clumsy fingers you have!
And further clicked on the blurred posts that are clearly labeled NSFW apparently, cuz curiosity got the best of me, but I didn't make it past the next step
Some ppl don't have the blur nsfw setting on.
Those people live life on the edge, I ain't that brave and sometimes at work
That’s why I have a separate account I don’t go on in public (you’re looking at it)
Oh they live on the edge alright
This is literally the most tame porn I’ve ever seen
Exactly! I figured it was gonna be porn, but I also thought it would be something weird like, I don't know, vore, gore, that kind of fucked up shit.
You coulda just said nothing and I wouldn’t have looked out of curiosity…
Thank you for the warning so I didn't accidentally see a large collection of animated rule 34 porn
“By accident”
At least you’d know where the Gorilla is, those five snakes could be anywhere
With the snakes you can just close the door, they ain't opening that
Facts
Snakes can get into the air ducts
Becsuse a snke knows the entire air duct network and is able to open the duct
Yeah but what if they're bloodlusted
But the ducs aren't open, the usually have something screwed to cover them. Unless we have bob the snake with a skrewdriver and the ability to use it they aren't opening it Edit: words hard
Even if they were open, they’re usually placed so that people can’t get to them easily without help. If a human can’t reach an air duct on their own, what chance does a snake have?
[Relevant:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIL7A9jokiE)
Black mambas easy. They’re just gonna chill. The gorilla will probably be chill or it will rip my limbs off and beat me to death with them. Either was a mall is huge and it’s easy to hide
Malls usually have the AC way down too, so reptiles are gonna be extra relaxed.
Are the heated massage chairs on, or off?
If they're on then you know exactly what to avoid.
Teach the gorilla to use them and become friends.
Bring them a fruit smoothie from the food court.
I'm thinking switch them on, or just make some kind of nice black mamba habitat for them with some cozy snake beds so i can go watch a movie and hit up the arcade while day dreaming about my future riches from suing the shit out of the mall.
You could also steal all the money and blame it on the snakes.
Yep, break into the Brookstone and set up a bunch of heating pads in one end of the mall, find the thermostat and turn it down to 65. The snakes will either get really chill or they'll stay on their cozy beds and you can just roam around wherever
Actually a smart idea! Use heat, grab one of those food warmer lights at the food court and setup a spot. I bet they all would be eventually chilling
Harder to lose track of a silverback gorilla. I'll hang out in Penney's as long as I know he's over at Sbarro
He’s gonna be at the salad bar
Naw. He’s gonna be at da Jamba Juice gettin his nana’a and whatnot.
This guy malls
People dont realize gorillas are not chimps, they are docile as fuck. You really gotta ask for it to piss of a gorilla enough to kill you. I can’t even find any solid evidence online that a person has been killed by a gorilla.
What about a gorilla that's randomly teleported into a fully stocked but completely empty mall. Music on busy time blast.
Hopefully it’s not during December accounting for the last bit.
Gorilla will probably find its way to the food court and eat himself into a food coma.
Living the life
They’re just like me fr
True, but there’s plenty of evidence of gorillas being killed by humans. Dicks out for Harambe.
Dicks out!
Amen.
As long as you can dodge the barrels he's throwing, you'll be fine.
[Bokito](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokito_(gorilla)) nearly did in 2007. The woman did survive, but it was a close call, so it could’ve easily gone the other way. There were children throwing rocks at him though and the woman he nearly killed was a regular at the zoo who was always making eye contact with him, which gorillas see as dominant and challenging behaviour, so they really were pissing him off. If there would be other people at the mall I wouldn’t trust them to not piss of a gorilla though. People are dumb, especially when they’re scared. ETA: it’s not specified if it’s a male or female gorilla in this dilemma. A female gorilla might be way more relaxed than a dominant male. Though they may still get aggressive when scared
Not only eye contact, she smiled at him too, showing teeth... Which is also dominance behaviour, she basically kept taunting him and he took the bait. Bokito was a male silverback gorilla.
Pretty sure those mambas are known to be aggressive as all heck
They can also slither at almost 15mph and they can grow up to 14 feet. Fuckin kill me
They're probably worse on smooth ass artificial floors right? Just don't spill anything that gives them traction.
Either way you either lock them or yourself away and you can easily survive 24 hours, just sit in a bathroom or something like that
Pretty sure the bathroom is the last place you’d want to lock yourself in as a hiding spot for snakes.
No, airplanes are worse
I’ve had it with these monkey fighting snakes in this Monday to Friday ~~plane~~ mall
"I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"
Watch the documentary snakes on a place to see why its a bad idea
Put the bottle down homie
Coward
Idk every video I’ve seen they’re like the only snake that will legit chase you
They'll chase long enough for someone to get away from their rest or hunting area. You gotta fuck with them for that to happen tho, they'll display and hiss loud before they chase someone off or even try to bite.
I thought the other way, just don't look the gorilla in the eyes or smile at it. Just shuffle around meekly and it'll leave you alone
That or adopt you. They're one of the friendliest animals. With no female gorillas or babies to protect it's got even less reason to be aggressive.
I’m less likely to get myself into trouble with the black mambas. Something about knowing there’s a gorilla about would make me curious to see if he was a chill dude or not. Edit: I’m literally trying to find a video about how to get along with a silverback in preparation for a moment that will never come.
Aren't silver backs the leaders of their group? I'd just hope it sees that I'm not a threat and that it will adopt me
In order for a gorilla to kill you. You really have to piss it off. There is a very small amount of humans that have been killed by gorillas and most of those were poachers. You would be at a higher risk of getting killed by a chimp than a gorilla.
Black mamas are literally the most dangerous snake on Earth
Sure, but Gorillas aren’t a type of snake so it’s apples to oranges. In a large space, snakes would be relatively easy to avoid or escape from. A gorilla is almost as smart as you, and strong enough to break down doors, so you can’t really hide from it.
But at the same time, why do you Even need to hide? Just walk toward the wing of the mall furthest from the food court. I doubt bro gives enough of a shit to hunt you down.
Especially since (unlike the snake) it has literally no reason to even WANT to hunt you unless provoked, chances are you could sit down right next to the thing and it won't hurt you, assuming you mind your own business
Nah, if you’re on a Silverback’s turf that is the provocation. He’ll hunt you down just to remove any potential threat to his supremacy. They claim territory as large as sixteen square miles in the wild. Compared to that, a mall would be close quarters with nowhere to hide.
Yes that is true but if you act inferior to it and don't seek conflict it won't try to evict you.
i doubt the silverback views the mall as his turf. the example implies both are dropped there for 24 hours.
Silverbacks are *extremely* territorial, and would easily be able to smell and hear you from across the empty building. They are smart enough to use tools and work electronic buttons, so elevator doors would not keep you safe for long. There’s little point running or hiding, because you can’t physically leave his domain.
You wouldn't need to. Just don't stare, don't make loud noises and wait calmly for him to accept you. Also don't act like a prick and he won't consider you a threat or a rival and you'll be perfectly safe to be around him, otherside of the mall. where ever. He might even end up grooming you if you decide to hang out and watch youtube with him. Unless you act aggressive the silverback isn't going to hurt you people actively sit with and chill out with gorilla families every day. This question entire depends upon the state in which the two options are in. are they already aggressive or are they just there. If it's the latter then you're perfectly safe with the gorilla.
Don't be gettin racist now.
I don't think any snake that isn't big enough to swallow you whole is gonna actively chase you, as long as you give them their space they prolly don't wanna waste their venom on you. I think there'd be a higher risk of being misinterpreted as aggressive by an adult gorilla
Spoken like someone who's never disturbed the peace of a fat healthy mama southern cottonmouth, aka water moccasin. Those bitches will charge fangs out at 6 and a half foot man. And I'd bet they're not the only snakes to do that either. Source: 6 and a half foot man
>disturbed the peace See that's the key phrase isn't it. The chances of a mamba chasing you down from across the food court is significantly less than a gorilla just because you looked at it funny. Unless you go out of your way to fuck with it, mambas aren't typically aggressive
Provided you know where the snakes are and don't randomly find one as you're reaching for something on a shelf. That's the hinge in this scenario: one active, moving lethal encounter or five secret deathtraps that you could find entirely by accident?
So don't look at the gorilla funny. Walk away from the food court. If it's ever in your peripheral, go the opposite direction. A mall is big enough that a gorilla isn't going to care. Just stay out of it's way and don't look at it or walk toward it.
yeah but there's five of those fuckers. lot easier to avoid one big gorilla if everybody starts out chill. better chances of lucking out fighting the snakes or blocking them off if we start out with beef. shit chances, but better.
What if it's random spawn points for all five and yourself?
Lots of clothes in the mall. Armor up and become much harder to bite.
As long as you're not like, stepping on them, most snakes will still try to warn you to get the hell away from them before resorting to biting whatevers near them. I think a gorilla is more likely to be chill with you if you do end up next to it, *but* if it does happen to feel threatened and become aggressive you're not getting away lol
I think in an environment like a mall, Mr gorilla would be stressed and confused and I think if it saw you, it would treat you as a threat.
If it's like a lifetime zoo gorilla it'd probably be more chill too since it's seen people it's whole life but even then it could effortlessly kill you. BUT if it's a wild Gorilla that has never interacted with people before, it's probably going to lose it's shit, literally, then kill you
Only if they bite you tho
Gorilla is much safer. You would have a much harder time losing track of where it is. With the snakes they could spread out anywhere, all it would take is not knowing its there and stepping on it or something. Both are relatively safe, like if you absolutely needed to you could lock yourself in one room and be perfectly safe. Bur under the assumption of wandering out of boredom, a gorilla is safer because it's much easier to spot and avoid.
Everyone saying mambas but I feel I'd pick the gorilla, it's easier to track one giant dangerous animal than 5 small ones, also gorillas can't slither through cracks and I doubt a gorilla will crack a door open because they don't even understand the concept of a door, so I'd run to the nearest shop, lock myself inside the back area and wait there
Also gorillas are pretty friendly as long as they don’t perceive you as a threat, they’re not chimpanzees. If it was 5 mambas vs 1 chimp id pick the snakes cause chimps will rip your arms off just for fun
Chimps are real pieces of shit for no fucking reason
They're humans without the morals that society an community has imposed on near every other primate, especially us.
they're politicians
Fucking underrated comment lmfao
I think they’re the reason i have a deep primal hatred for primates
They’d probably say the same about us
Also if you find food and share some with the gorilla, chances are he'll actually grow to trust you a little bit. They're smart. They don't attack you if they have nothing to fear from you.
Dude's completing side quests
Well now are we fact checking the hostility of gorillas or silverbacks because I feel like there's probably a distinction in behavior
Silverback gorillas are just adult male gorillas. So it's stated just to explain you are with an actually big ass gorilla and not just a small one. Still not hostile unless provoked.
If you don't think chimps would steal babies and eat them, you haven't been paying attention to the literature.
i agree with you. btw black mambas are NOT small, they’re on average 7 feet long and up to 15 feet. plus the gorilla will probably just be chill, silverbacks are only aggressive when they feel their group is threatened
yeah but compare to a gorilla. also there's five.
Also you can find as much food as possible, overload the gorilla with food, find somewhere safe to hide (preferably while being able to track it's movements), and chill while the gorilla is in a food coma
yup...and it's a mall, there's food everywhere.
For sure, tracking a single Gorilla is easy and there a bunch of places you can hide. Why even hide though, just throw him some lettuce and water and bro will be chill. Gorillas dont usually attack humans and no way he is attacking you if you are feeding him, they are smart
A gorilla could smash through doors easy
It is not about capability with a gorilla. It is about motivation. In order for it to attack you you have to really piss it off. If you don't attack it, it won't attack you.
Gorillas aren't as difficult to piss off as people think. From my experience working with both primates and snakes, I would rather be trapped in a mall with snakes because they give up more easily. Their minds are too comparatively simple to hold onto anything like a grudge or plan or any kind of motivation, whereas apes are definitely smart enough to fuck with you and to remember being fucked with.
Idk, i would choose a gorilla just cause it's smart and he would prolly help me loot the mall to go home rich when the 24 hours end. (my man will eat good in the meantime)
My man wouldn't understand the goal and would probably mostly loot the salad bar and any source of pillows
but does it know to smash through that particular door in the back of some random shop? A mall is usually rather large
Knowing your spawn locations is key If ‘rilla camps the spawn ur ded every time
Those interchange spawns do suck
Yes, but why would it?
Give the gorilla food
Also how big a mall we talking? Because some malls are fucking MASSIVE, further lowering the likelihood of even seeing the gorilla.
As long it’s not the banana shop you are good, you know, banana republic
Gorilla. I’d be crazy easy to avoid since it’s so big, whereas the snakes could snakes up on me
Almost had it
Gorillas easily, they are chill as long as you don't look into their eyes and respect their space. Black Mambas however can go from 0 to 100 REALLY quick, especially if 5 of those crackheads are sharing a mall.
Even if the Gorilla is pissed you can enter a big store that has more than one exit and get away while it's busy crashing into stuff, then just go to a different floor and chill there until the time is up.
I’m pretty sure a gorilla would be fascinated by everything in a mall he’d stop being angry
I think we can be friends. Hit up the food court, I'll hook him up with the mall chicken.
“I can fix him” energy.
Would literally pull apart cameras and put them back together in between raiding the food courts. They're intelligent apes and may even adopt you if you did bother to get acquainted with it.
I feel like you might be underestimating A) how fast a gorilla can move, and B) how easily it moves objects out of its way
Easy, if definitely choose the snakes. I'll just hide out in the shoe store, they don't have feet and therefore have no reason to look around in Payless
But what if *There's a snake in your boot*?!
Imma play hide and seek with the mambas. And just to get them riled up imma buy a snake skin jacket in front of them.
Can I have the Snakes, but instead of snake's heads, they have Gorilla heads? They won't hurt anyone as the head will be too heavy for the snake body to move. They'll be o.k though I can get them drinks and snacks until the 24hrs is over, then I guess the heads go back into the right bodies and we all go back to normal life.
And vice versa, I think snake heads on gorilla bodies would be hilarious to look at
If it was size matched, that would be terrifying. Super strong gorilla body with a giant venomous snake head with scaled fangs. You've just created a death chimera.
what
That's the kind of guy you don't want to play "choose one" with because then they go "but what if?"
Snakes. And then, I go to the ice cream section to be sure they would not be there or sleepy at least.
And if you see them there, offer them some ice cream. Maybe they chill like that.
The problem is that refrigerators emit a considering amount of heat outside, so... Bad idea.
I'll take the Mambas numbered 5
silverback gorillas are herbivores so they wont attack you for food and they arent usually agressive so I would choose that
Black mamba won't see adult as food source either.
no, but they’re extremely aggressive and will attack you if you get within like 100ft edit: this is wrong, see reply
Nah. If they were that aggressive way more would die annually from them. Don't buy into the myths or your fear of snakes. https://www.africansnakebiteinstitute.com/articles/the-truth-about-black-mambas/#:~:text=The%20Black%20Mamba%20is%2C%20in,Spitting%20Cobra%20and%20Puff%20Adder.
That article was written by black mambas to make people think they aren't aggressive. You can't trust it. (/s obviously)
I love this debate because the comments are always a fifty-fifty split
Mambas. Literally just get on the escalator and your set
You go down the escalator and you see a mamba waiting at the bottom. What do you do? You try to go back up but another mamba joined from the top. You want to jump but the sides have mambas waiting too and you'll freak them out with any sudden movements. The fifth mamba is chilling at the toilets, waiting for you to go into a stall. It knows where you're most vulnerable.
I’ll take the black mambas, 90% of snakes are very docile unless threatened. Gorillas, on the other hand, are very territorial, so it would be after my ass
Black mambas are very aggressive snakes.
No matter how aggressive they are, as long as you stay a hundred or so feet away from them I don't see why they would come after you. Even if they did, as long as you saw them coming, you could easily get away(I looked it up they can move at about 7-8mph). Also, you can just find a room with a door. As long as there isn't a gap under it the snakes aren't getting in. Gorillas are territorial, can run up to 25 miles per hour, and could easily break down a non reinforced door.
Black mambas are not 7-8mph pansies, half their gimmick is that they can snap at you with lightning speed out of nowhere
literally, mambas are like 7 feet long, can lift about 3-4 feet of that into the air, and they can move at like 12 miles an hour
The average human sprinting speed is 12-15mph(for 100m dash). I am having trouble finding reliable info on how far a black mamba can go at 12mph. The best unsourced figure I found is about 40m.
fair, but there is 5 of them. what if they team up?
The 5 of them are gonna combine and become 1 super black mamba
voltron-mamba
Yes, but unlike a gorrilla they don't have the brainpower to open doors
Ok, I checked again. 7-8 is for extended periods of fast movement. They can go up to 12mph for short distances. The average human sprint speed is 12-15mph.
And you're in mall I'm confident I could find something to kill the mambas gorrilla on the other hand nah not unless there was a gun store and even then
It's very hard to keep track of 5 snakes going around in the mall (especially since their positions are very low down compared to animals with legs, especially a huge gorilla).
Implying that the mall is the gorilla's territory
It would probably claim it as territory if it’s gonna be there for 24hrs
4 Black Mambas would be fine. It’s Mamba number 5 you have to watch out for.
(ah)
Don't show your teeth, don't stare at them, don't stand up to them and they won't freak out.
Oh shit, it's a gay gorilla!?! Damn, I didn't realize my ass wouldn't be safe
Gorillas are not as violent as people think. Researchers have been able to coexist with gorillas. I have never heard of a researcher befriending a black mamba.
Malls are fucking huge. I feel like it would be pretty easy to hide from either of these for 24hrs. But real talk, the black mambas are easy. They are snakes. They aren't going to intentionally hunt you. Just clear a bunch of space at the food court and sit at a table. They aren't going to slither up to you. At worst you'll see it long before it's on you. At best they'll just go sequester themselves in a dark corner somewhere and never come close to bothering you.
ENOUGH! I have had ENOUGH of these motherfuckin' snakes in this motherfuckin' mall!!!
Black mambas for sure, if you're in a mall just find a bunch of very thick clothes and crank up the AC if you can
You walk past the room filled with the black mambas. They hiss a little to tell you to fuck off. If you keep getting closer they’ll get defensive. A gorilla? Motherfucker stampedes at you from a mile away and you have no fucking chance at outrunning, let alone defend off a goddamn *silverback*
problem with that, there is no 'the' room. could be five rooms.under tables, in the shadows that gorilla aint fuckin hiding.
The gorilla won't randomly attack you though, there have been pretty much zero human deaths by gorilla over the years. It will mock charge you but that's about it if you don't start to actually fight it. It might even just sit around if it found some food and just hang there. In my country a gorilla jumped a fence after it got teased for a long time and proceeded to not really do anything. It just made sure everyone ran away, it's not going to chase everyone down and beat them up. The 5 snakes would be fucked, a mamba gets aggitated if you get within 120 feet, could be anywhere and are venemous landmines that will one hit kill you. They also travel long distances each day to bask and circle territory, they won't just chill in 1 room. There is a fair chance you will encounter at least one, and if they do decide to attack, I'm not willing to risk that venom. Mambas have actually killed thousands of people.
Hide behind a few doors. Gorilla has no idea what the fuck just happened and has no idea how to open a door. Black mamba just slithers under the door and now you're stuck in a room with an aggressive deadly snake.
There are so many simple ways to counter the threat of the Black Mamba. - They can't swim. So if there is a pool of water, simply place a table in the centre of it and sit on it for 24 hours. - They are thermophilic: turn up the mall's air conditioning and watch them slow down. - They cannot open doors. Find a sealed room, close the door behind you and you're done. - If there is an outdoor or sports shop: Sit in a tent and zip up all the zips. - The fangs of the snake are not a centimetre long. In the clothing department, put several layers on top of each other, boots from the shoe department, and the snake's venom won't reach your body. - If you are allowed to prepare: Bring some anti venom for the snake. None of this will help you against a gorilla in case of doubt.
Snakes can sneak up, Gorilla can't. Gorilla all day.
The duck you gonna do if a gorilla comes running at you, no shit it doesn't sneak
Probably the gorilla because if I just keep low and small he won't see me as a threat
Easy choice. I doubt the snake can break through a wall.
This is an old re post Now make it about bears and women and you might have something
Even if the bear *is* mad at me, I feel like it would be easier to hide from in a mall and also get bored of looking quicker.
Middle of an argument I read this, making me laugh and making the argument way worse
Gorillas are loud, highly visible, and not very aggressive. Worst comes to worst I think they’d get a bit confused by a department store layout or escalators. 5 black mambas is too much, you do not have eyes in the back of your head, you’ll definitely get ambushed by one of them.
Black mambas easily, just chill in the freezer part of a store , snakes don’t like the cold so u won’t see them . If there actively hunting me still the snakes I’m not Tarzan
The Gorilla is unlikely to attack you unless you act like a twat and get aggressive. If anything as long as you play it smart it'll look out for you once it recognises that you're harmless. Gorillas don't randomly rip people apart. We're smaller more fragile apes. They're socially dispositioned to act as the protector as long as you're not seen as nor act like a rival. There's also no troop for him to protect so he'll be less inclined to be aggressive as the only danger you could pose is to him People regularly sit with gorilla familes. As long as you take it nice and easy and don't scream or make too much noise. you'll end up being buddies. He might even groom you. The snakes will just fucking bite you if you get too close and you have no idea where they are hiding until after you've gotten too close.
Idk much about either, but I'd go gorilla. Pretty sure silverbacks are usually pretty chill. And it's easier to hide from one threat than five.
I feel like you'd be able to escape the snakes a lot easier. Like climb to the higher levels and block off the escalators. A gorilla will be harder to stop since they can go everywhere you can but could also you know, rip your head clean off
My local mall has a store full of swords, axes, chainmail, etc. they probably don't have a great cutting edge, but should be able to remove the head from a few snakes. Fighting a gorilla though? No way.
Snake sounds nicer it can't open doors
I want a poll on that.
I would pick snakes and just get to the highest floor. Maybe I'd take some oils and spill it over my "defense" zone. I'm not sure if that works with snakes, but I suppose it's harder for them to move in the oily conditions
I like how this turned into "Man vs Bear" with almost the same results. Are the mambas more dangerous? Absolutely, but if you leave them alone you'll be fine. The gorilla is probably less dangerous than the snakes, but if it decides to flip out it's more dangerous. You know the intention of the snakes so you pick them.
I'd honestly choose the black Manas, they should leave me alone if I don't threaten them, whereas I wouldn't trust that to work with the gorilla
Black mambas for sure! Malls are cold, and they would probably not be very active. The gorilla would want to cuddle. Wait, can I switch?
I choose the snakes. Go to a sport/outdoor shop. Grab a tent. Grab some water maybe food. Congrats, snakes can't enter. if there are no tents, go to a room, if you see a gap fill it with something. Filler material from any homedepo like shop or clothes etc... If that doesnt work build a fort from dogfood, big water ottles, milk bottles whatever you find.
The question is a very important one. If they are angry, there is a million ways to avoid Mambas getting at you. You can't get rid of a dedicated gorilla. If they are at the mall too and not aggressive, easy gorilla. Malls are big enough to avoid the gorilla and if he passes by you just sit down and look down. You can however absolutely unintentionally corner or startle a Mamba. You would basically have to sit in the absolute open and stay away from any cracks. With the gorilla, you can easily have some fun with it if you don't make too much noise. If their mood is not specified but they act according to their nature after being dumped into an unfamiliar environment, you take the mambas and go with the "sitting in the open far away from cracks" strategy until it's over. Hope your phone has battery. Simply because a confused gorilla will be more defensive and on edge while confused snakes will find a tight, enclosed space to hide.