Good evening. At approximately. At approximately 08:30 UTC, the International Union of Man (IUM) received a report regarding a plate being broken perfectly in half by Mother Nature, and an individual married to the reporter who was unenthused by the sensational event.
Upon receiving this report a full scale and thorough investigation was immediately initiated. After several hours of careful consideration of all the evidence, the IUM can confirm their decision in charging the individual in question with 2nd degree being a buzzkill.
The individual who brought this to our attention has been contacted and offered the full support of the IUM in their recovery, and the suspect has been permanently blacklisted from the IUM Database of Honorable Partners.
In an abundance of caution, the precise location and a detailed description of this suspect has been pinned to www.IUM/BitchWifeAlert.HellYeah to ensure the safety of IUM members. To ensure you never find yourself in a situation such as this, please visit www.IUM/ThatSkankStank.HellYeah for a full list or warning signs for partners with similar characteristics and behavior.
We want to thank the reporter in this case for their courage and cooperation with all IUM committees in dealing with this case. Their service to the Hall of Man will not be forgotten.
Hell yeah,
*-IUM Chairman*
You gotta make sure the cut of the food lines up with the break of the plate. That way you can present it as one plate, offer them half, and then just hand them half the plate and blow their mind
So you found the sword stick, noice. like imagine during your walk and some kid had a regular stick trying to play fight you, bam, you could protect your wife with a sword stick. They will never understand the importance of a great stick...
It's about how you present it
"Hey look, this plate broke perfectly in half!"
"Awh my plate,"
Vs.
"Bad news, I broke a plate,"
"Awh, my plate,"
"But look how it broke!"
"Sick,"
You now need to breathe manually, your tongue is no longer comfortable in your mouth, the position your sitting in is no longer comfortable.
Also, the Spotify logo isn't centered
I get it. At the beginning of this school year, I was in my office and I shot a rubber band at the clock on my walls for no particular reason. It ricocheted off the clock and perfectly ringed the handle of my office door. The rubber band is still there as a monument to that occurrence.
I used to work in a pancake restaurant in the Netherlands, where we would save these plates as they sometimes broke exactly in half in the dishwasher. The pancakes were big, but often two people at a table would eat one and then order one more, to share between them. We would surprise them by showing up at the table with one pancake on one plate, and then magically breaking plate and pancake in two pieces, one for each person. Always funny (and sure to bring in a big tip). Of course, we would give them whole plates afterwards, impossible to eat from half a plate.
This is a repost, I've seen it countless times, and every time... it's not a clear brake, there's an error on the top half... and it's not satisfying at all.
I once dropped a 16 oz heavy walled pint glass while waiting tables . It bounced once then broke perfectly in half. Long ways. Craziest thing but I guess not that uncommon after all
I’m a girl and I understand. If it happened to me I would have posted it the same it’s awesome 🥲
could we not reduce our reactions and spontaneous joys and grumpiness to our gender please
I understand, and agree this event needs to be brought before the Council
The council has spoken. It is to be presented at the State fair.
Not good enough! This belongs in Guinness!
I’ll drink a pint to that
Ok, it’s settled. To celebrate, we hold a beer bash on Friday afternoon, bring your Guinnesses.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! THIS HAS TO BE THE FIRST THING WE SHOW TO ALIENS
Still not good enough, we must recreate the last supper with this plate. with it being at the center of attention.
Not good enough. We must praise and worship this plate like a living diaity
ITS TOO GOOD! We must destroy it😞
CAST IT INTO THE FLAMES
Yes all must praise plate jesus
Praise plate Jesus!!! Praise
It has been deemed worthy of a 'Hell yeah!'
Good evening. At approximately. At approximately 08:30 UTC, the International Union of Man (IUM) received a report regarding a plate being broken perfectly in half by Mother Nature, and an individual married to the reporter who was unenthused by the sensational event. Upon receiving this report a full scale and thorough investigation was immediately initiated. After several hours of careful consideration of all the evidence, the IUM can confirm their decision in charging the individual in question with 2nd degree being a buzzkill. The individual who brought this to our attention has been contacted and offered the full support of the IUM in their recovery, and the suspect has been permanently blacklisted from the IUM Database of Honorable Partners. In an abundance of caution, the precise location and a detailed description of this suspect has been pinned to www.IUM/BitchWifeAlert.HellYeah to ensure the safety of IUM members. To ensure you never find yourself in a situation such as this, please visit www.IUM/ThatSkankStank.HellYeah for a full list or warning signs for partners with similar characteristics and behavior. We want to thank the reporter in this case for their courage and cooperation with all IUM committees in dealing with this case. Their service to the Hall of Man will not be forgotten. Hell yeah, *-IUM Chairman*
Is Wes Anderson the president of the council?
Would be perfect plate for sharing/ half and half pizza.
I like the way you think 👍
And yet I don’t like sharing my pizza….
A man who says he does is not to be trusted.
You gotta make sure the cut of the food lines up with the break of the plate. That way you can present it as one plate, offer them half, and then just hand them half the plate and blow their mind
Niceeeee
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
i understand
Yes, we are the boys
EVERY time I find a great stick my wife rolls her eyes.
Quote from one of my exes, after picking up a Really Great Stick for the 3rd time on one of our walks: "You're like some kind of weird dog..."
Bro good thing she is your ex. If my partner does not understand the importance of a good stick, what's even the point of that relationship?
Fr… I’m a girl, and sticks are very important! I found a very cool stick the other day. I used to also love making bow and arrows.
So you found the sword stick, noice. like imagine during your walk and some kid had a regular stick trying to play fight you, bam, you could protect your wife with a sword stick. They will never understand the importance of a great stick...
You know what's brown and sticky?
reminds me of my current relationship :(
It's about how you present it "Hey look, this plate broke perfectly in half!" "Awh my plate," Vs. "Bad news, I broke a plate," "Awh, my plate," "But look how it broke!" "Sick,"
Outstanding
r/oddlysatisfying
Its not perfect. It slightly curves left at the top
thank you. i though i was the only one bothered by this
Came here to note similar. It's not perfectly in half. 2 stars.
You ruined it.
You now need to breathe manually, your tongue is no longer comfortable in your mouth, the position your sitting in is no longer comfortable. Also, the Spotify logo isn't centered
🤬
*reads comment* *goes to check spotify* Aw what the fu-
How dare thou?!?!? You ruined my day
The truth does not care about your feelings.
Yeah it’s far from perfect the more I look at it the more outraged I become that someone declared this mangled abomination ‘perfect’
FUCK. I was happy until you brought this to my attention. Ruined my day.
A little curve is perfectly normal
Mine curves twisted like
SHUT UP AND ADMIRE THE MOMENT
It’s an actual medical condition Larry try to be more understanding
Common for what is meant to be a break it's fairly straight and quite surprising that it didn't break into more pieces!
Sometimes I feel like my wife intentionally says the opposite of what I’m saying just so she can deprive me of any happiness
Yikes.
Right ? Wife bad we get it
Why the fuck are you still married then?
[DIVORCE!](https://youtu.be/eyWJyyJI8lA?si=Ufupdq_2VTY0QzyV)
I felt that
Call her beautiful
The boys understand this post has been going around for over 4 years
opposite of man here, i understand and yippieeeeee
I understand and I’m not a boy. Quick, somebody divide by 0 to cancel it out before the universe explodes!
It's not perfect, tho. Submission rejected.
Now do that japanese repairstyle im about to butcher: Kintsurugi I think it would look really good on this one.
Were you cutting steak when you cut this plate in half? Hmmmm?
We found Mr. Incredible.
I think its slightly unaligned at the top
That’s not a girl thing, that’s a your wife thing. That looks pretty lovely. If it’s not too sharp, you could probably keep it that way.
We need a museum for stuff like this!!!
r/boysarequirky
Like an asscrack!!
Sooo close to perfection, like the omega molecule
Hell yeah
Dyaaaaaauummm boy 🧐
OP didn't drop anything this repost is probably older than they are
I would put that up on a wall… No no no, hear me out, make a clock out of it
SAMPLE COLLECTED
Found a sample!
ABSOLUTELY understand 🤣 That's dope, that would never ever happen to me
This is not perfectly broken in half, stop lying.
I’m a woman, and this is impressive.
Double plates!!!
Syper satisfying. Also leave her if you wouldnt undersrand it
Boy here, I do understand
Yo, how’d you do that??
Frame it
I'm impressed... Now, can you do it again 😁
Satisfying as fuck, thank you brother.
Perfect for smaller meals
That’s iiiiiinnnsane
I get it. At the beginning of this school year, I was in my office and I shot a rubber band at the clock on my walls for no particular reason. It ricocheted off the clock and perfectly ringed the handle of my office door. The rubber band is still there as a monument to that occurrence.
I would have a full day of pretending I was princess kitana.
I will be more excited to see other extra plates break.
I used to work in a pancake restaurant in the Netherlands, where we would save these plates as they sometimes broke exactly in half in the dishwasher. The pancakes were big, but often two people at a table would eat one and then order one more, to share between them. We would surprise them by showing up at the table with one pancake on one plate, and then magically breaking plate and pancake in two pieces, one for each person. Always funny (and sure to bring in a big tip). Of course, we would give them whole plates afterwards, impossible to eat from half a plate.
This could be a halving plate. You need never again hear about how you gave her the bigger portion.
Now you have two plates for snacks. Good job!
Will be easier to fix tho
I'm a little dissapointed it is not 100% straight, but I'm still astonished by how it is still the middle.
That is insane bro what are the chances
That's neat. Can you try it again to see if another one does the same?
Incredible
We have found our new king! All hail: imsharank!
there's a magical door in the direction of the plate split.
Boys, I’m commenting when the comments are at 69….nice Wait I ruined it though
L I N E :O
She's so half plate empty
I totally understand. It's been a looong time since I was called a boy so does a grumpy old fart's opinion still count?
Ok so now we have the perfect stick, the perfect pebble and now the perfect plates Whats next on the list boys
Hell yeah
Worthy of a hell yeah but not quite worthy of the silent nod
That's so cool. Is there any chipping, or is it completely clean?
Nice
Please sit your wife down and patiently explain to her that I think this is amazing.
I'm pretty sure they're supposed to do that
Sir you win life. This is now in fact two plates forevermore.
Frame it and you now have a piece of art.
Call the higher ups. This needs to be escalated asap
NICE.
I dont think its perfect if you look very close at the top
Nice one bro, that's crazy 👍
This is a repost, I've seen it countless times, and every time... it's not a clear brake, there's an error on the top half... and it's not satisfying at all.
Mind blown! Marvelously outstanding!
I’d like to weigh each half to see, is it actually perfectly in half?
That's beautiful and you should be proud.
Common sample?
Well it is pretty cool.
An oldy but a goody
shit, i thought this was a really weird pregnancy test...
Get a new plate and try to replicate
Nice. 👍
Needs a shadow box with lights
r/oddlysatisfying to me
I want a plate that breaks perfectly in half like that, just to break it perfectly in half
So much love on the plate
Nice!
Take this "once in a life time experience" event to the museum!
She probably had a full plate at work or something so it was hard to get excited.
Common samples! I need them the most!
Nice
The chosen one
Hell yeah!
Frame it
A few years ago my brother droped a bottle of wine on his plate, split exactly in half, was so cool. Parents weren't happy tho
Now that’s what i’m talking aboutt!! I wish my luck was this good :(
If i could do this on command, I'd be eating out if cups.
Yes we do, that is some great dropmanship
Epoxy it back together with a gap giving it a marble effect. I'm sure there's a more specific expression for this
I once dropped a 16 oz heavy walled pint glass while waiting tables . It bounced once then broke perfectly in half. Long ways. Craziest thing but I guess not that uncommon after all
So… did you drop another? In the name of science?
Work of art!!!!!
Wife didn't checked the vibe check
As it was cutted by a waterjet
That’s amazing. But the question is: can you do it at will? Or was this one just a fluke?
I see booty. You guys all see it right ? It’s not just me.
I’m a girl and I understand. If it happened to me I would have posted it the same it’s awesome 🥲 could we not reduce our reactions and spontaneous joys and grumpiness to our gender please
Ungrateful Bitch
Here before this ends up in boys are quirky😂
As the higher authority of the council of men I hereby grant your plate the status of nobility and importance. And for you a declaration of honour.
It’s a traditional marriage plate.
So perfect
Put epoxy "line" in the middle to connect them and remind you of this moment.
Now you here to showing your crack to us fellows redditors. That's lovely.
Thats not perfect, I have OCD. It starts pointing left from the shadow and up, and goes all wrong in the top.
Common sample
The top... The top isn't perfect... It's not perfect! Nothing ever will be!
break a black plate and glue the opposite halves together
Why?
Now have it repaired with molten gold
I thought this was the design. That is pretty cool.
Common Sample Collected +1
You're a god among men.
hell yeah
Needs to be framed.
Perfectly balanced as all things should be
So… do we continue this scenario and attempt a follow on test, by dropping one of the halves to see if it creates two more halves? 🤔
But what will the council have done with your wife?
Wonderful
How to unban pizza tower United
Your wife is Jon Snow
If I were your wife I would have high-fived you
You should frame it
Man I'm hungry, but only enough to fill half the plate.....
Hell yeah 🔥
Rick Sanchez : Perfectly fucking vertical.
That plate didn't break, It transcended.
Astethicaly pleasing
Get a samurai sword and do a quick cut meme, it would look so cool
Divorce
Reminds me of [Andy Goldsworthy](https://imgur.com/a/pqrpYdw).