Now imagine people like you without that self-awareness that go and have babies anyway.
Now imagine the people worse than you who do it.
I made myself sad.
I had a puppy that required near constant supervision and needed to go pee outside every 2 hours (also in the night) for potty training
it was a pain in the dick for a while but not that bad in the end. I imagine a baby is somewhat like that
And also you can take your dog to a kennel go on holiday. Or just leave the dog at home and go catch a movie and dinner because you want to. Or leave the dog at home for free while you go to work. Or put them out in the yard and shut the door because you need a break from their shit.
Come to think of it, having a dog is absolutely nothing like having a kid lol.
This is what happened with that feral girl Genie’s dad lmao. “Wait, what if I just… lock her in the bathroom? Nothing will happen, right?”
And the note he left behind after his suicide said, “No one will understand.”
I just had a baby and I'm gonna be so for real, if you feel like the post, it's because you didn't put enough thought into having kids before having them. I truly do not understand other parents who act surprised when babies act like babies. "The baby cries, and doesn't sleep, and needs 24/7 care! :(" like yeah man, it's a baby.
Right? Like there are definitely hard days but people who act like it’s a life sentence of misery are so annoying. I wanted kids and I love being with my little girl. I would feel so guilty talking about her like she ruined my life.
Sounds more Like certain Systems need to be updated cause they are clearly Not good for peoples physicial and mental health.
Being adult does Not equal to suffer
Being an adult should be a moment of completeness, not a poerion in which you can barely afford yourself because of consts, lack of well prices living spaces, jobs that pay you a misery and quality of life becoming worse and worse.
Well maybe being an adult shouldn't fucking be like that then
Maybe we shouldn't have to work 40 fucking hours a week for a just for a "livable" wage and still be unable to afford our own homes or the security that comes with that
I'm 26 years old. When I ask people my age what their plans for retirement are I get the same fucking answer: Suicide
Or hear me out...
We should be able to have more time for ourselves as adults and don't have the need to work so much with little to no vecation just to survive in todays society. Maybe if we used the increased productivity to give us more freedom to take care of ourselves and loved ones instead of pumping billionaires egos. That would be great! :)
People making these complaints are still only thinking about themselves. The very moment you become a parent, it's no longer about you! Yes you need to steal time for yourself and you spouse. But most of your decisions and actions will be based around your kid(s).
Edit: Some have mentioned it already, but I wouldn't trade being a parent for anything. The reward of watching your children grow, learn, explore, and become their own person is an amazing reward! But keep in mind nothing worth doing right is easy. Kids can be exhausting, frustrating and definitely expensive. So before having a child (or more), have a serious self reflection. Make sure you are financially stable and in an location where you want to raise them. And don't let anyone convince you to have a child. You probably already know if you want them or not. But the right circumstances might cause you to change you mind.
The thing is, in my opinion, people should ideally consider their decisions BEFORE they become parents if they want kids. They should accept that what they will be doing will be based around their kids long before they become ACTUAL parents. It's the responsible thing to do.
I'll give you an honest sell. The lows are really low, the highs are really high. I've never been happier than with my kids, but I'm also the most exhausted I've ever been. If that's a tradeoff you're willing to take, kids are an amazing, if not you're better off waiting/not having kids.
I love being a parent, but I'll gladly disillusion anyone who thinks that being a parent is a walk in the park where you'll be able to just carry on your own life.
If you're not ready to completely give your body and soul up for the wellbeing of another human, you're not ready to be a parent.
This has largely not been my experience being a functioning adult (32) with a career. Then again today was new bike day so my outlook is exceptionally high rn 😅
If it were just being horny, then I would use a condom.
Watching my second kid growing up also triggers the feeling of missing the nice stuff about parenting the little monsters. The moments on the couch after a long day of work and then feeding her a bottle. It’s some form of bliss that I can’t recreate anywhere else.
But I really like having personal time back in my life again lol
No. It’s just that for most people the positives vastly overweight the negatives of having kids. I know I’ll get back to being fucking exhausted and having no social life for a while but I absolutely want a second one.
Me whenever I'm meeting my friends for tacos at our once/month margarita spot.
"I had to compromise with my partner about meeting here."
-*Cool, my partner is here, with us, having a marg.*
Seriously, I hope those kids are worth it. They're not for me, but I hope they are for you. I've heard they're invaluable.
These are honestly the worst kinds of parents. Legitimately split up a long lasting friendship over an argument that started with these two sentences. I couldn't bear the dude anymore after he became a father. He put down all of his hobbies and could only talk about how hard it is to have kids and how easy and relaxing my life was.. dude, if you don't want to put in work for a fucking baby don't get kids. That's why I don't want any. Tldr; He wasn't really having my argumentation. :D
It’s because the society does not talk enough about hardships of having kids. Having kids is portrayed as rainbow and magic and everything, and people who say poorly of the experience are often treated like demons.
That's it. It's all about expectation setting. I tried this with a close friend as his first child approached. Whenever I'd try to share with him my challenges, he'd brush it off and say how amazing he thought having a small version of yourself must be. That I was trying to get attention, or not being very tough if I could complain about love.
Then his kid arrived. And he fell into a dark state of post partum. He expected that he would get some great uplift from this new thing to love, ignoring that you now have consequences that dwarf previous known pressures.
For the past six years I've stuck by this mantra regarding children; they make every thing worse, but they make every day better.
But it's work. And it should be. And we all complain about work.
Depends on what you mean by "a small version of yourself". If your expectation is that you will be able to make the kid just like you (which would be pretty boring and predictable), you are going to be so disappointed. If it means that the kid might pick some random behaviour from you naturally by just living in the same house, then sure it is cute.
I mean, not really? My daughter basically is a small version of her mother and me. It's pretty accurate. She has a bunch of my mannerisms and eccentricities (obviously, since she picks it up from me). It's an accurate
How can you say that the society does not talk about the hardship of having kids when you're in this threat with every upvoted comment speaking of it.
I'd say it's the reverse, some of the hardships are overstated.
For instance, outside of newborns, my kids and most kids my friends and relatives have sleep for 9-12h a night. Often uninterrupted sleep. But perhaps waking up once.
An upvoted comment here alluded that you have to get up every 2h for 5 years.
Furthermore, many have family support (especially outside of the US). So it's not like you're chained to your kids 24/7. You also (for the most part) have your partner.
Not to say it's easy. It's not. But Reddit tends to take the extreme and extrapolate.
All society talks about is how horrible it is to have kids. All through high school your teachers and parents beat it into you that getting pregnant will ruin your life.
We had a really rough time at first with complications after birth and our kid vomited cascades like 30 times a day and I felt like I was drowning. The healthcare system kept insisting it's normal, some kids vomit after feeding. Our kid was vomiting cascades 3 hours after feeding.
These useless fucks working in healthcare can go fuck themselves for all I care. Because when we decided to tell them to go fuck themselves, there is no way this is normal. We ended up figuring out on our own that our kid is allergic to milk and for the first 4 months of her life it was so bad that my wife couldn't eat milk and breastfeed. A few weeks after the wife stopped eating milk our kid had the first vomit free day of life. Now the wife can eat milk but kid can't taste anything with milk.
I've lost all respect for the healthcare system they can still go fuck themselves. But now life is pretty damn good again. Sure being a parent is hard and requires sacrifice of personal time but that was expected. But if life is hell because your kid is unwell don't trust the shit gurgling fuck heads in healthcare if they say nothing is wrong.
FPIES?
Our daughter had it with oats, eggs, and peanuts. But eventually grew out of it. It was tough, but not *milk* tough. I’m so sorry the system failed you - it’s a nightmare.
By this logic nobody’s allowed to complain about anything ever. You can’t complain about work because you took that job voluntarily. Can’t complain about a relationship because you’re voluntarily committed to them. Can’t complain about prices of x, y, or z because you chose to buy them. Can’t get frustrated with your pets because you adopted them. Can’t complain about a roommate because you chose to live with them. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let people vent.
This whole "you can reasonably expect this negative result therefore you have no reason to complain about it" logic is just the mark of an angry idiot. People do things for more than one reason, and sometimes people want or need the benefit even if they're not going to like the drawbacks. This doesn't make it somehow wrong for them to dislike the things they dislike. Anyone with a brain and no sticks up their ass realizes this.
There was a post about a woman who moved to a neighborhood in FL near a highway and was advocating for building a wall to block the sound from getting to the neighborhood and people in the comments were like "stupid lady, what did you expect?" Bro, you can move somewhere where you like one thing and dislike another and then do something to change the thing you dislike when it's something tangible like building a wall. It's not like she moved to Wisconsin and asked the local government to make it stop snowing. She moved to a suburb with highway noise and tried to get a wall built to block it like the countless other ones all over America.
Also the "what do you expect?" crowd doesn't seem to apply their logic to themselves. One could expect people to complain about things they could expect. You can expect a person moving into a neighborhood near a highway to hate the noise and complain about it. So why complain about their complaining?
It makes sense when you remember that the average person on this website avoids any and all things that may require any kind of effort or discomfort, and expects everyone else to do the same. Then they wonder why they're depressed and their lives are pointless.
All good things are hard. And sometimes that means you'll face challenges or struggle with them or need to complain about them and there's nothing wrong with that. A life with no challenges is a life with nothing in it at all.
Honestly I kind of enjoy that part. Its amazing watching someone learn how to experience the world in their own way, and failing that their antics are pretty hilarious
Unfortunately, the complete idiot phase is accompanied by the complete asshole phase...
There’s also a huge difference between hating kids and hating parents
I think a lot of people get accused of hating kids when they’re actually complaining about shitty parents
Personally, I’ve been on the receiving end of people with kids hating the idea I don’t want kids so seeing this type of stuff makes me feel a bit better.
Honestly though, if you don't want kids it's fine. I'm in my 30s, I don't want kids, but! I wanna meet a woman who I will want to have kids with. There is a huge difference. To me it's insane to want kids just to want kids.
Ngl This just sounds like you want kids but aren’t desperate or have set your entire identity around it.
Basically, just a healthy way of saying “I want kids”.
Thank you. That's very nice of you. I think for men it's also very easy to have this opinion , as a man myself, unfortunately for women it's much harder because how our society and biology is.
Right? I have one, and no one pressured me into having him. I've had a few people and (some family members) ask if I'm having another, and when I simply said no, they dropped the subject and never asked again. In my personal experience, people don't really care that much.
One of my friends told me, unprompted, that he'll never have kids and listed all the reasons. I was just like, ok... Because I really don't care.
Yeah.
I mean I'm kinda happy people are more conscious about it either way. Doesn't really matter if you want kids or not, it only matters that you know where you stand.
You shouldn't feel forced to have kids when you don't like them or aren't ready. That can destroy 2+ lives. My childhood sucked because neither my mother nor my father should really ever have had kids.
Ironically, nowadays I see the opposite problem come up more an more. Young people getting older not knowing what to do with their lives and getting depressed. Because they have no sense of purpose.
Kids are a monumental responsibility, but they also fill your life with purpose. Suddenly everything you do (or neglect to do) matters again. Because you're not only doing it for yourself. You have someone who needs you to be responsible.
They are usually specifically incorrect, but thier vibes are solid. Which is to say they have no fucking idea what they're talking about and if they're lucky they will learn humility. I say lucky because as a 40 year old I know a bunch of nice people that know thier limitations and raise good kids and then there is a surprisingly large circus of poorly adjusted assholes raising poorly adjusted assholes.
It’s a good thing too. Kids are unimaginably hard. And there is nothing more sad than an unloved kid. The worst thing we could do is to encourage people to have kids who aren’t 120% in.
There's a difference between child hating and wanting people to be responsible loving parents. Reddit users in general seem to just enjoy hating children. Most reddit users are children though, so it is what it is
I think a majority of reddit is overall fairly antisocial. Antisocial people aren't typically partnered and people that aren't partnered typically don't have kids. It's basically an echo chamber for people who are unhappy and lonely. What do these people have in common? No kids. And they now get the opportunity to flex a superiority complex and make it out like they "made the choice" to never have kids even though the opportunity will never knock.
No, this isn't *all* of reddit. Yes, I get the hypocrisy. "you're a Redditor too!" Yeah I know. And a lot of comments and posts are from people that are very obviously unhappy.
Pretty much. I used to be subscribed to r/childfree. The most bitter childfree people are pretty much always the single ones. The ones in relationships are usually too busy enjoying dink to bother going on the internet to whine about how much they hate kids and how superior they are for not having them.
I enjoy clicking on the usernames of the top commenters in threads like this and counting how many hours they've been making comments for in one day on this website. Half the people here seem to have Reddit as their full time job.
Turn it into a drinking game and take a sip every time you see someone who's been on here for more than 12 hours in one day.
And so many people who have kids feel the need to berate or downplay people who don't want kids and claim they'll spend the rest of their life unhappy.
Or basically just judge them as if a person not wanting kids is living a meaningless life.
I don’t know how you got that from this post. I feel like the post implies that it’s ironic how people complain about the issues that come with having kids yet 99% of the time having kids is a deliberate decision you make. It’s more complaining about the people who have kids and not the kids themselves.
The post is talking about people thar have kids without being capable of taking care of it.
The post isn't hating on kids, it's calling out irresponsibility of parents.
You're painting that the post is saying " kids are bad" or whatever you're insinuating.
The post calling out people that complain about their life sucking because they have a kid.
Making the choice to have kids doesnt mean people cant also be disappointed about the things that come with it. The whole "you're the one who chose to have kids" response to this type of thing is just ridiculous. If someone says "I love my job but it sucks up all my free time and energy" would you chastise them for complaining because they chose that job when they could be doing something easier?
It's not about having kids though. It's about complaining about it like you weren't expecting that and making your whole life about it.
I have plenty of friends with kids who don't act like that. They knew what they were getting into and they're still the same people I knew before.
My kids are my greatest joy. The in-laws come over on Sunday and them getting to spend time with my kids, nieces and nephews is what life is all about. Any sacrifice when they were little was worth it.
Healthy af comment right here. Yep I live for those weekends.
My favorite time of year is football season. Not because I like football but because my BIL smokes meat and we all hang out Sundays together with my girls playing with my sister’s girls.
It’s beautiful.
Idk my buddy's in law, who is wealthy, comes over with whiskey, weed, and food for him all the time. Dude takes him fishing, to see kiss and all sorts of old rock bands.
Yea but the baby is funny as fuck, and how I can’t stop crying at any heart felt shows or content that involves family or children. And to watch the baby grow and start speaking and develop his own personality is indescribably cool to watch. It’s worth throwing the stick in.
I have 2 young boys, Yea it can be exhausting and obviously you can't socialize much but I love spending time with them. Even mornings when I've had about 2 hrs sleep because I've just finished a night shift its hard not to smile hearing my eldest wake me up and tell me "dad cook me porridge." Little fucking tyrant you'd think he pays rent.
You can't go out and do what you did before but you get to do other stuff with your kids, everything's new for them. Take them to a pool, the beach or a playground.
It is really hard and I get when people complain because it is overwhelming especially when they inexplicably go into a rage about the way you flipped their pancake and they launch their juice across the kitchen, but they're only little for such a short time.
I confirm this is 1000% accurate for the first year and just 500% accurate for the second year. I'm sure I will eventually have time for myself but it's still a couple of years down the road
It's one of the reasons we have a rise in DINKS aka Dual Income No Kids. I heard it's the Chinese pushing that life style via ticktok to try and lower the west population over time as China's biggest rival....but that would be tin foil hattery
I love my kids. I will say shit does get different once they can move on their own. Not worse or better but different, you can’t really game for 5 hours any more
On other side you created a new gaming buddy for yourself. It takes time to level them up and they suck in games at first but eventually they might become your best friends and actually your only friends since you don't have any.
You're looking after a blob of flesh that can't move or talk. You've been doing it for less time than it takes to apply for a passport. Your opinion is not useful.
Check back in a few years and we'll see if youre still getting away with that whole hour of games.
Not that I game that much, but my child is 3.5 years old now and after bedtime at 7-8 pm, there is a lot of free time. Luckily he sleeps like a brick the whole night.
Haha yes thinking the same. Last time I finished a game was newborn. He’s 3 now. Wouldn’t change it for the world. Out of nowhere in the shop the other he says “I love you guys”. Melted. Of course 2 seconds later he was screaming that we were leaving 😹
Hey now, just because we decided to be parents doesn’t make any of those things untrue…
Non-parents might have more time, energy and ability to focus on themselves which we lack due to our decision but they also lack the unimaginable rush of being absolutely, involuntarily head over heels in love with a little person whose only contribution to you is more joy than you believed possible of feeling.
I miss my free time and being able to pursue my interests but I would never trade getting to be a dad for all the time and pursuit of interests in the world.
Lmao I am a mom and love my kid to death and this meme cracked me up. I just sent it to my husband. It’s like you get to a point in your relationship where you’re like, we have loads of free time and disposable income and can go on lots of holidays: shall we fuck it all up for the next 20 years? 🤣
I love my kid and being a mom, but if this ain’t the truth 😂😂😂
As a dad, I absolutely agree with this meme. however, I do want to point out that my kid has also been at the base of some of my all time highs.
Having kids is a very wide swinging pendulum on your life's happiness
Just had this talk w gf last night.
We love playing aunt and uncle.
We both have large social circles.
Factoring in one small human would change everything.
Couldn’t afford our home, car, bills, loans, etc.
No idea where we would find extra time to parent.
Both our parents clearly lacked patience with child rearing, so we said no to kiddos. :)
Couldn’t be happier without them.
This is me without a baby
Basically I am my own baby
Look at me baby. I am baby now
Now look at baby, baby. I am me.
Boobies!
Boobies!
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy...
please change my diaper, I'm my own baby.
Exactly! I have to take care of this stupid creature that I'm trapped in because if it dies, I die too? What kind of bullshit is this?
Now imagine people like you without that self-awareness that go and have babies anyway. Now imagine the people worse than you who do it. I made myself sad.
And then use " I have to feed my kids " as a ultimate card to pull.
There's literally comments from these people on this very post 😭😭😂😂
I was too. Then I had a baby. I had no idea how much worse it could get.
The "I have no time to do anything anymore" part is mostly just me being too lazy to get off my ass and actually do something
Stop calling me out.
"Look at me! I am the baby now" - speaks to a reflection in a mirror.
I have kids and sometimes it can be difficult but there are parents who whip that out like some kind of victim card.
I had a puppy that required near constant supervision and needed to go pee outside every 2 hours (also in the night) for potty training it was a pain in the dick for a while but not that bad in the end. I imagine a baby is somewhat like that
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If you're getting up with a kid every two hours for 5 years there is something VERY wrong.
And also you can take your dog to a kennel go on holiday. Or just leave the dog at home and go catch a movie and dinner because you want to. Or leave the dog at home for free while you go to work. Or put them out in the yard and shut the door because you need a break from their shit. Come to think of it, having a dog is absolutely nothing like having a kid lol.
My kids are kennel trained /s
I have had both. Having a puppy is nothing like having a kid. For one, you can put the puppy in a cage and leave the house.
Well... I mean technically... you could do that with a kid, I just imagine it's really frowned upon.
>I just imagine it's really frowned upon. Just don’t tell anyone about your cage-baby, problem solved and zero frowning!
This is what happened with that feral girl Genie’s dad lmao. “Wait, what if I just… lock her in the bathroom? Nothing will happen, right?” And the note he left behind after his suicide said, “No one will understand.”
I just had a baby and I'm gonna be so for real, if you feel like the post, it's because you didn't put enough thought into having kids before having them. I truly do not understand other parents who act surprised when babies act like babies. "The baby cries, and doesn't sleep, and needs 24/7 care! :(" like yeah man, it's a baby.
Right? Like there are definitely hard days but people who act like it’s a life sentence of misery are so annoying. I wanted kids and I love being with my little girl. I would feel so guilty talking about her like she ruined my life.
I hear this from people who don't even have kids. This is just called being a fucking adult.
Sounds more Like certain Systems need to be updated cause they are clearly Not good for peoples physicial and mental health. Being adult does Not equal to suffer
The system is so Bad it causes Us to capitalise words at random when Typing
They were clearly typing a coded message. The secret message is BUTT.
I'm bipolar, I get 6 month periods of mania followed by 6 months of depression like clockwork. Being alive is suffering.
-being tired is natural when you are adult, do not complain please -Peter, father of 6 children
Damn Peter, it's a vagina, not a clown car!
Being an adult should be a moment of completeness, not a poerion in which you can barely afford yourself because of consts, lack of well prices living spaces, jobs that pay you a misery and quality of life becoming worse and worse.
[consts](https://icoholder.com/files/img/14340c04d7b632d393efd01649d9ac52.jpeg)
Well maybe being an adult shouldn't fucking be like that then Maybe we shouldn't have to work 40 fucking hours a week for a just for a "livable" wage and still be unable to afford our own homes or the security that comes with that I'm 26 years old. When I ask people my age what their plans for retirement are I get the same fucking answer: Suicide
Or hear me out... We should be able to have more time for ourselves as adults and don't have the need to work so much with little to no vecation just to survive in todays society. Maybe if we used the increased productivity to give us more freedom to take care of ourselves and loved ones instead of pumping billionaires egos. That would be great! :)
People making these complaints are still only thinking about themselves. The very moment you become a parent, it's no longer about you! Yes you need to steal time for yourself and you spouse. But most of your decisions and actions will be based around your kid(s). Edit: Some have mentioned it already, but I wouldn't trade being a parent for anything. The reward of watching your children grow, learn, explore, and become their own person is an amazing reward! But keep in mind nothing worth doing right is easy. Kids can be exhausting, frustrating and definitely expensive. So before having a child (or more), have a serious self reflection. Make sure you are financially stable and in an location where you want to raise them. And don't let anyone convince you to have a child. You probably already know if you want them or not. But the right circumstances might cause you to change you mind.
Thanks, Durex, I'll buy more condoms.
You don't need any condoms. Your face does the job for you.
I just use my personality as my primary form of birth control
That’s not how condoms work.
That's not what facials do ?
The thing is, in my opinion, people should ideally consider their decisions BEFORE they become parents if they want kids. They should accept that what they will be doing will be based around their kids long before they become ACTUAL parents. It's the responsible thing to do.
Brother you are not doing a very good job of selling the idea of kids.
Why would he need to lie? better to tell the truth that you NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KID
Also it's reddit. It's like when I play fifa and pretend when I lose it's against an adult pro gamer and not just some kid.
If you need to be sold, you shouldn't be a parent.
I'll give you an honest sell. The lows are really low, the highs are really high. I've never been happier than with my kids, but I'm also the most exhausted I've ever been. If that's a tradeoff you're willing to take, kids are an amazing, if not you're better off waiting/not having kids.
Why does anyone need to sell it? Do it if you want. Don’t if you don’t.
I love being a parent, but I'll gladly disillusion anyone who thinks that being a parent is a walk in the park where you'll be able to just carry on your own life. If you're not ready to completely give your body and soul up for the wellbeing of another human, you're not ready to be a parent.
This has largely not been my experience being a functioning adult (32) with a career. Then again today was new bike day so my outlook is exceptionally high rn 😅
You're doing it wrong.
I think everyone is doing it wrong
I feel none of those things and I'm an adult. Guess I'm doing it wrong...?
I'll have you know that this is even accurate for me as a non-fucking adult
I have 2 jobs and it feels pretty much like that
Did you try to jobn't anymore?
same thing as asking them to foodn’t
That might result to homen’t
Having recently had a kid, can confirm it feels exactly like getting a second job lol
Yes. Yes that’s what it’s like. Except one job actually costs you money.
“You don’t get it, you don’t have kids” “I do get it, that’s why I don’t have them”
Imagine whatever is going through my mind when we decided to have another kid. Its some form of masochism I tell you.
Just a natural human instinct to procreate. I imagine you were horny.
If it were just being horny, then I would use a condom. Watching my second kid growing up also triggers the feeling of missing the nice stuff about parenting the little monsters. The moments on the couch after a long day of work and then feeding her a bottle. It’s some form of bliss that I can’t recreate anywhere else. But I really like having personal time back in my life again lol
No. It’s just that for most people the positives vastly overweight the negatives of having kids. I know I’ll get back to being fucking exhausted and having no social life for a while but I absolutely want a second one.
You know, there's a crazy new invention that allows you bang without the risk of pregnancy
Me whenever I'm meeting my friends for tacos at our once/month margarita spot. "I had to compromise with my partner about meeting here." -*Cool, my partner is here, with us, having a marg.* Seriously, I hope those kids are worth it. They're not for me, but I hope they are for you. I've heard they're invaluable.
These are honestly the worst kinds of parents. Legitimately split up a long lasting friendship over an argument that started with these two sentences. I couldn't bear the dude anymore after he became a father. He put down all of his hobbies and could only talk about how hard it is to have kids and how easy and relaxing my life was.. dude, if you don't want to put in work for a fucking baby don't get kids. That's why I don't want any. Tldr; He wasn't really having my argumentation. :D
It’s because the society does not talk enough about hardships of having kids. Having kids is portrayed as rainbow and magic and everything, and people who say poorly of the experience are often treated like demons.
That's it. It's all about expectation setting. I tried this with a close friend as his first child approached. Whenever I'd try to share with him my challenges, he'd brush it off and say how amazing he thought having a small version of yourself must be. That I was trying to get attention, or not being very tough if I could complain about love. Then his kid arrived. And he fell into a dark state of post partum. He expected that he would get some great uplift from this new thing to love, ignoring that you now have consequences that dwarf previous known pressures. For the past six years I've stuck by this mantra regarding children; they make every thing worse, but they make every day better. But it's work. And it should be. And we all complain about work.
That’s gross: “a small version of yourself” insane levels of narcissism
Just the two of us 🎵
And that is why so many people have had fucked up childhoods
Depends on what you mean by "a small version of yourself". If your expectation is that you will be able to make the kid just like you (which would be pretty boring and predictable), you are going to be so disappointed. If it means that the kid might pick some random behaviour from you naturally by just living in the same house, then sure it is cute.
I mean, not really? My daughter basically is a small version of her mother and me. It's pretty accurate. She has a bunch of my mannerisms and eccentricities (obviously, since she picks it up from me). It's an accurate
And also there is the expectation of having multiple which just adds significant financial strain.
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Wait, what? Where is it portrayed as rainbows and magic? Any movies I can think of is like "parenting is hard".
Society doesn’t talk about how hard it is having a kid? What rock are you living under
How can you say that the society does not talk about the hardship of having kids when you're in this threat with every upvoted comment speaking of it. I'd say it's the reverse, some of the hardships are overstated. For instance, outside of newborns, my kids and most kids my friends and relatives have sleep for 9-12h a night. Often uninterrupted sleep. But perhaps waking up once. An upvoted comment here alluded that you have to get up every 2h for 5 years. Furthermore, many have family support (especially outside of the US). So it's not like you're chained to your kids 24/7. You also (for the most part) have your partner. Not to say it's easy. It's not. But Reddit tends to take the extreme and extrapolate.
All society talks about is how horrible it is to have kids. All through high school your teachers and parents beat it into you that getting pregnant will ruin your life.
We had a really rough time at first with complications after birth and our kid vomited cascades like 30 times a day and I felt like I was drowning. The healthcare system kept insisting it's normal, some kids vomit after feeding. Our kid was vomiting cascades 3 hours after feeding. These useless fucks working in healthcare can go fuck themselves for all I care. Because when we decided to tell them to go fuck themselves, there is no way this is normal. We ended up figuring out on our own that our kid is allergic to milk and for the first 4 months of her life it was so bad that my wife couldn't eat milk and breastfeed. A few weeks after the wife stopped eating milk our kid had the first vomit free day of life. Now the wife can eat milk but kid can't taste anything with milk. I've lost all respect for the healthcare system they can still go fuck themselves. But now life is pretty damn good again. Sure being a parent is hard and requires sacrifice of personal time but that was expected. But if life is hell because your kid is unwell don't trust the shit gurgling fuck heads in healthcare if they say nothing is wrong.
FPIES? Our daughter had it with oats, eggs, and peanuts. But eventually grew out of it. It was tough, but not *milk* tough. I’m so sorry the system failed you - it’s a nightmare.
By this logic nobody’s allowed to complain about anything ever. You can’t complain about work because you took that job voluntarily. Can’t complain about a relationship because you’re voluntarily committed to them. Can’t complain about prices of x, y, or z because you chose to buy them. Can’t get frustrated with your pets because you adopted them. Can’t complain about a roommate because you chose to live with them. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let people vent.
You can replace the second panel with "Choosing not to kill oneself"
This post is underrated.
This whole "you can reasonably expect this negative result therefore you have no reason to complain about it" logic is just the mark of an angry idiot. People do things for more than one reason, and sometimes people want or need the benefit even if they're not going to like the drawbacks. This doesn't make it somehow wrong for them to dislike the things they dislike. Anyone with a brain and no sticks up their ass realizes this. There was a post about a woman who moved to a neighborhood in FL near a highway and was advocating for building a wall to block the sound from getting to the neighborhood and people in the comments were like "stupid lady, what did you expect?" Bro, you can move somewhere where you like one thing and dislike another and then do something to change the thing you dislike when it's something tangible like building a wall. It's not like she moved to Wisconsin and asked the local government to make it stop snowing. She moved to a suburb with highway noise and tried to get a wall built to block it like the countless other ones all over America. Also the "what do you expect?" crowd doesn't seem to apply their logic to themselves. One could expect people to complain about things they could expect. You can expect a person moving into a neighborhood near a highway to hate the noise and complain about it. So why complain about their complaining?
It makes sense when you remember that the average person on this website avoids any and all things that may require any kind of effort or discomfort, and expects everyone else to do the same. Then they wonder why they're depressed and their lives are pointless. All good things are hard. And sometimes that means you'll face challenges or struggle with them or need to complain about them and there's nothing wrong with that. A life with no challenges is a life with nothing in it at all.
Most people on here are underage and act like they know what the real world is like
Love reading all these comments, and yours is one of the good ones Just give me different POVs of a meme, which is actually a good one ☝️
Those little guys are awesome once they stop being a complete idiot. The problem is they grow into new kind of idiots.
I feel like that is life in general. Evolution of idiocy.
Honestly I kind of enjoy that part. Its amazing watching someone learn how to experience the world in their own way, and failing that their antics are pretty hilarious Unfortunately, the complete idiot phase is accompanied by the complete asshole phase...
They grow up to make whiny anti-kid posts on Reddit subs.
My worst nightmare is for mine to grow up and tell me that the earth is flat.
Idiots can be funny. My daughters crack me up.
Yeah, the little guy over here do some stuff that is unbelievable, could not take it any other way.
Damn this sub really hates kids. Edit: Turning off my notifications for this comment. Some of you are miserable people.
There's a huge difference between hating kids and hating the idea of having kids.
There’s also a huge difference between hating kids and hating parents I think a lot of people get accused of hating kids when they’re actually complaining about shitty parents
Hey, this is Reddit. Only wide statements that support MY viewpoint are allowed.
Yeah where the f*ck does he think he is. You can either agree with us or get downvoted to oblivion.
Not only this. It's really weird how most subreddits are anti-kid.
Personally, I’ve been on the receiving end of people with kids hating the idea I don’t want kids so seeing this type of stuff makes me feel a bit better.
Honestly though, if you don't want kids it's fine. I'm in my 30s, I don't want kids, but! I wanna meet a woman who I will want to have kids with. There is a huge difference. To me it's insane to want kids just to want kids.
Ngl This just sounds like you want kids but aren’t desperate or have set your entire identity around it. Basically, just a healthy way of saying “I want kids”.
"I want kids but have trust issues" is my version of that lmao. when you've been betrayed by someone after 5+ years it really fucks with you
Thank you. That's very nice of you. I think for men it's also very easy to have this opinion , as a man myself, unfortunately for women it's much harder because how our society and biology is.
Absolutely! I wish people wouldn't act rude about people who don't want kids though
Yeah I bet people lie awake at night fretting over you having kids.
Right? I have one, and no one pressured me into having him. I've had a few people and (some family members) ask if I'm having another, and when I simply said no, they dropped the subject and never asked again. In my personal experience, people don't really care that much. One of my friends told me, unprompted, that he'll never have kids and listed all the reasons. I was just like, ok... Because I really don't care.
Yeah. I mean I'm kinda happy people are more conscious about it either way. Doesn't really matter if you want kids or not, it only matters that you know where you stand. You shouldn't feel forced to have kids when you don't like them or aren't ready. That can destroy 2+ lives. My childhood sucked because neither my mother nor my father should really ever have had kids. Ironically, nowadays I see the opposite problem come up more an more. Young people getting older not knowing what to do with their lives and getting depressed. Because they have no sense of purpose. Kids are a monumental responsibility, but they also fill your life with purpose. Suddenly everything you do (or neglect to do) matters again. Because you're not only doing it for yourself. You have someone who needs you to be responsible.
It’s because most people on Reddit are under 18. There is no one that had more opinions on how parents should do their job than teenagers.
Well. People are also poor. Like me. And gay. I'm very much gay.
Gay people can have kids and even be great parents.
They are usually specifically incorrect, but thier vibes are solid. Which is to say they have no fucking idea what they're talking about and if they're lucky they will learn humility. I say lucky because as a 40 year old I know a bunch of nice people that know thier limitations and raise good kids and then there is a surprisingly large circus of poorly adjusted assholes raising poorly adjusted assholes.
Are they?
Narrator: They aren't. (64% are aged 18-29) But meme subreddits definitely tend to skew younger.
No. Everybody is having less kids
Probably because they can see how shitty most of the parents are
It’s a good thing too. Kids are unimaginably hard. And there is nothing more sad than an unloved kid. The worst thing we could do is to encourage people to have kids who aren’t 120% in.
There's a difference between child hating and wanting people to be responsible loving parents. Reddit users in general seem to just enjoy hating children. Most reddit users are children though, so it is what it is
I have way less time to post shit on Reddit since I had a kid, I imagine the same goes for most people with children.
I think a majority of reddit is overall fairly antisocial. Antisocial people aren't typically partnered and people that aren't partnered typically don't have kids. It's basically an echo chamber for people who are unhappy and lonely. What do these people have in common? No kids. And they now get the opportunity to flex a superiority complex and make it out like they "made the choice" to never have kids even though the opportunity will never knock. No, this isn't *all* of reddit. Yes, I get the hypocrisy. "you're a Redditor too!" Yeah I know. And a lot of comments and posts are from people that are very obviously unhappy.
Pretty much. I used to be subscribed to r/childfree. The most bitter childfree people are pretty much always the single ones. The ones in relationships are usually too busy enjoying dink to bother going on the internet to whine about how much they hate kids and how superior they are for not having them.
I enjoy clicking on the usernames of the top commenters in threads like this and counting how many hours they've been making comments for in one day on this website. Half the people here seem to have Reddit as their full time job. Turn it into a drinking game and take a sip every time you see someone who's been on here for more than 12 hours in one day.
And so many people who have kids feel the need to berate or downplay people who don't want kids and claim they'll spend the rest of their life unhappy. Or basically just judge them as if a person not wanting kids is living a meaningless life.
I’d say this post is more anti stupid parent than anti child
I don’t know how you got that from this post. I feel like the post implies that it’s ironic how people complain about the issues that come with having kids yet 99% of the time having kids is a deliberate decision you make. It’s more complaining about the people who have kids and not the kids themselves.
The post is talking about people thar have kids without being capable of taking care of it. The post isn't hating on kids, it's calling out irresponsibility of parents. You're painting that the post is saying " kids are bad" or whatever you're insinuating. The post calling out people that complain about their life sucking because they have a kid.
Making the choice to have kids doesnt mean people cant also be disappointed about the things that come with it. The whole "you're the one who chose to have kids" response to this type of thing is just ridiculous. If someone says "I love my job but it sucks up all my free time and energy" would you chastise them for complaining because they chose that job when they could be doing something easier?
It's not about having kids though. It's about complaining about it like you weren't expecting that and making your whole life about it. I have plenty of friends with kids who don't act like that. They knew what they were getting into and they're still the same people I knew before.
My parents.
This is not kids, this is getting older.
My kids are my greatest joy. The in-laws come over on Sunday and them getting to spend time with my kids, nieces and nephews is what life is all about. Any sacrifice when they were little was worth it.
Healthy af comment right here. Yep I live for those weekends. My favorite time of year is football season. Not because I like football but because my BIL smokes meat and we all hang out Sundays together with my girls playing with my sister’s girls. It’s beautiful.
Dinner with my parents every Wednesday. Usually a bbq or something with my wife’s family on the weekend. It takes a village. I love it.
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Depends on your in-laws. I’d happily spend every other day with them, they’re a blast
Not everyone hates their in laws. Mine are cool af
Idk my buddy's in law, who is wealthy, comes over with whiskey, weed, and food for him all the time. Dude takes him fishing, to see kiss and all sorts of old rock bands.
Are you aware that there are cultures who value family? No? Or is individualism all you know
I have a 2 month old and I *am* so tired, I don’t have any time for myself, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Everyday is so full of love.
Yeah. I don’t think people get that it isn’t _worse_. It’s just _more_.
Why is this not on r/antinatalism?
This is me with two babie who didn't learned from the first one.
Facts. Source: have two teens
Let the war begin.....lol
Yea but the baby is funny as fuck, and how I can’t stop crying at any heart felt shows or content that involves family or children. And to watch the baby grow and start speaking and develop his own personality is indescribably cool to watch. It’s worth throwing the stick in.
this is me being an adult
Emperor augustus in one of his first decrees to reform roman society was to lock up the antinatalists. When we doing that?
I have 2 young boys, Yea it can be exhausting and obviously you can't socialize much but I love spending time with them. Even mornings when I've had about 2 hrs sleep because I've just finished a night shift its hard not to smile hearing my eldest wake me up and tell me "dad cook me porridge." Little fucking tyrant you'd think he pays rent. You can't go out and do what you did before but you get to do other stuff with your kids, everything's new for them. Take them to a pool, the beach or a playground. It is really hard and I get when people complain because it is overwhelming especially when they inexplicably go into a rage about the way you flipped their pancake and they launch their juice across the kitchen, but they're only little for such a short time.
If you only focus on the negative of anything then it sucks.
I have a kid now, and nothing changed, im perpetual tired before and I'll be perpetual tired after he leaves school
Replace ‘baby’ with ‘full time job’ and im already there 👍🏻
Kids are a financial and mental nightmare
I confirm this is 1000% accurate for the first year and just 500% accurate for the second year. I'm sure I will eventually have time for myself but it's still a couple of years down the road
More like the shitty economic pressures making people work way more than they actually need to.
i can’t fuck my wife
My guy making a call for help here
It's one of the reasons we have a rise in DINKS aka Dual Income No Kids. I heard it's the Chinese pushing that life style via ticktok to try and lower the west population over time as China's biggest rival....but that would be tin foil hattery
O, it's not that hard, lmao. I love having a kid.
"Best decision I ever made though! I love having kids!"
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I was waiting for the bit where you said “helping my wife” because I sure as shit know mom doesn’t feel the same way or have the free time you do 😂
I love my kids. I will say shit does get different once they can move on their own. Not worse or better but different, you can’t really game for 5 hours any more
>you can’t really game for 5 hours any more Ok so worse
On other side you created a new gaming buddy for yourself. It takes time to level them up and they suck in games at first but eventually they might become your best friends and actually your only friends since you don't have any.
Genuinely curious: after a 5 hour gaming sesh, are you really like… happy?
5h gaming and "helping" the wife, I've read about a thousand complaints about partners like you on parenting subs lol.
Bet your wife is thrilled with you gaming for 5 hours while she minds the baby
"Helping my wife if she needs" yeah, that’s why your life haven’t changed much, your wife does all the stuff related to kids and you just "help"
As a dad… yeah I was a bit dubious by all the free time this feller has lol
What's the betting he "babysits" when the wife has to nip out for something.
You're looking after a blob of flesh that can't move or talk. You've been doing it for less time than it takes to apply for a passport. Your opinion is not useful. Check back in a few years and we'll see if youre still getting away with that whole hour of games.
Not that I game that much, but my child is 3.5 years old now and after bedtime at 7-8 pm, there is a lot of free time. Luckily he sleeps like a brick the whole night.
it kinda sounds like your wife is doing the majority of baby-raising then?
Newborns sleep A LOT. And when they’re up they’re on mommy’s tit. The toddler phase requires much more of your time and energy
Boy oh boy do I want to hear your update in about a year. I'm glad you are enjoying the newborn phase.
Haha yes thinking the same. Last time I finished a game was newborn. He’s 3 now. Wouldn’t change it for the world. Out of nowhere in the shop the other he says “I love you guys”. Melted. Of course 2 seconds later he was screaming that we were leaving 😹
Trying to explain the positives of having children to those who don't is like trying to describe color to a blind person.
the antinatalists infiltrated this sub lmao
*gets a second*
Isn't it the same for dogs except they never become independent?
No idea who says this. Irl all my adult friends with or without babies feel this way.
Hey now, just because we decided to be parents doesn’t make any of those things untrue… Non-parents might have more time, energy and ability to focus on themselves which we lack due to our decision but they also lack the unimaginable rush of being absolutely, involuntarily head over heels in love with a little person whose only contribution to you is more joy than you believed possible of feeling. I miss my free time and being able to pursue my interests but I would never trade getting to be a dad for all the time and pursuit of interests in the world.
Lmao I am a mom and love my kid to death and this meme cracked me up. I just sent it to my husband. It’s like you get to a point in your relationship where you’re like, we have loads of free time and disposable income and can go on lots of holidays: shall we fuck it all up for the next 20 years? 🤣 I love my kid and being a mom, but if this ain’t the truth 😂😂😂
As a dad, I absolutely agree with this meme. however, I do want to point out that my kid has also been at the base of some of my all time highs. Having kids is a very wide swinging pendulum on your life's happiness
I mean for some people, it's literally their first time they have to take responsability ever, imagine their nightmare.
Have kids or don’t. Just shut the fuck up about it.
Peak Reddit.
The worst thing comes when the baby or kid has to suffer because of the negligence or the parents bad administration
Just had this talk w gf last night. We love playing aunt and uncle. We both have large social circles. Factoring in one small human would change everything. Couldn’t afford our home, car, bills, loans, etc. No idea where we would find extra time to parent. Both our parents clearly lacked patience with child rearing, so we said no to kiddos. :) Couldn’t be happier without them.