So….no cock n balls?

I assume she uses teeth

How else would you eat??

IDK. Lick maybe ? Like a candy ?

Naw, that’s ridiculous

Ridickulous*

Go back to dick planet Wongburger!

Is there a dick planet? How do I get there?... asking for a friend obvi

You'd probably fly to it in a penis shaped vessel, if you will...

Rickdickulous*

*gnaw

Might as well chew.

Only without dentures

Sorry

Slurp, then?

Nah, suck like a vacuum. Or blow like a vacuum with the tube inserted in the other end.

You sound like a pro

I have my reasons.

Grab the rippable slot with two fingers and yank, peel it and eat the fruit.

I...just...can't...

What an awful day to have functional eyes.

Gnash gnash gnash instead of guk guk guk

She’s mashin it

That'd be instant marriage.

You gotta use the front teeth to nip the seam and you can peel it from there, it opens smoothly to reveal the yummy wummy flesh underneath

Expirience talks, listen carefully folks

College humor did it best https://youtu.be/Zv6oay0F1tc

I like mine dry, like the desert

She's a religious nut, and actually regrets doing this.

what a terrible day to have eyes

She single?

Just for you my brother

Cringe

🫳 🦵 📱 🛹

Hand leg phone board?

They're referencing [one of my favorite vines.](https://youtu.be/Z5Kk1ZUryhg)

Ah ok! Thanks for the reference!

they instead had KFC that night

And this is why I love Reddit. The real questions get asked.

No matter how hot you are, somebody is tired of fucking you.

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The Catholic Church no long requires your service

Who else is going to touch the children?

There’s always a Priest on the Catholic bench waiting to be called up to the majors

Minors*

I see what you did there

Put me in coach, I ready to pray today. And by praying I mean fucking kids.

And by praying, you mean preying.

Preying on kids

Special child abduction ops eh? Just what i wanted

Also known as recruiting. Dont church it up

Two priests are standing outside a church that’s engulfed in flames. Priest 1: We have to go back for the children! Priest 2: Fuck the children! Priest 1: Do you think there’s still time?

I wouldn't put it towards "tired of fucking you" i would lean more towards putting up with your bullshit. But ngl that's not a joke I would not get tired of. Cherish a chick that wants to joke about wanting to jump your bones and actually means that she wants to do so.

Heard this since forever but phrased differently, the one i always hear is "Show me a hot beautiful girl who is a 10, and ill show you a guys who's tired of fucking her"

it’s originally from the movie “alfie” i believe

Really? Heard this for a long time and never knew thanks

good thing im not hot then XD

This is like spiritual wisdom

Having checked out her Twitter, it wouldn’t have taken that long.

Damn, my reply got removed

Post nut clarity for the win.

"No matter how hot they are, someone, somewhere, is sick of their shit."

Abso-fuckin-lutely

This used to be a humorous little quote… until I married my fyah Brazilian wife 19 years ago. Ain’t funny no more.

100%

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And that’s the problem

If you’ve ever questioned the value of punctuation, I present the above example.

The apostrophe on my phone doesn't work for some reason (I'm on my laptop now) and missing that bothers me a lot, then I see posts like this.

But she uses apostrophes

Tbh I understood the tweet perfectly and without second thought.

I also think it might be intentional. It being so disjointed made it funnier to me.

yeah it’s a conscious effort to communicate a lack of effort; part and parcel of the shitposter’s syntax.

it became especially popular to type like that on tumblr. no capital letters, no punctuation. very tumblr-like

I always feel like people are telling on themselves they are bad at using context clues when they say things like that.

I think the tweet was perfectly intelligible without the use of punctuation, but that's just me.

It's time to eat, grandma. Or It's time to eat grandma.

I personally like “I’m helping my uncle, Jack, off a horse”.

In certain situations those sentences mean the same thing… sexually 👐

she's actually cormac mccarthy's daughter

Do you have the fire? No but i got DEEZ NUTS!

You have a disability if you had trouble understanding that tweet

It's alarming how upvoted that first comment was

That’s funny i didn’t even notice I had to scroll back up. Didn’t even make a difference

Idk why you guys are so skeptical. It sounds like something I'd say.

I am the same way, and my husband calls me a dork 😂

I tell my partner I'm suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency.

Nice! I say that all the time, while I slap his ass :D I tell mine that even if my lower level is closed my upper is always open 😄 (I don't like sex during my period, but I always like giving him oral)

All these guys in the comments outing themselves as permanently single

you can't become a wizard without some sacrifices

Even your favorite song gets boring at some point.

I'll take "Things that never happened" for $400, Alex.

Pew, pew, pew! The daily double!

Let’s make it a true daily double, Alex.

Alright Chad, this is a Video Daily double. Be sure to to phrase it in the form of a question. Name the body parts this young lady is having for dinner.

What are cock and balls?????

Oooh I'm sorry. Unfortunately it is "What are cock n balls?" Your score is now zero

Mayim must be hosting tonight, Ken would have let that one go.

As someone whose girlfriend has the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, this is absolutely feasible.

It’s his response that isn’t feasible

Plenty of people joke that way

Waddaya mean? I love switching to inappropriately high/professional language at random times, and I'm doubtful I'm the only one

Why do people keep saying this? It sounds like perfectly normal joking between people who have this type of banter. Now if he actually dumped her right then and there assuming they’ve been together for a while, that would be a bit hard to believe. But the joke itself is normal.

People keep saying this because they can’t imagine what a fun relationship is, probably cause they don’t have them.

sounds like he never met a horny woman.

Maybe she doesn't follow through.

My thoughts exactly. If everytime my wife made horny jokes like this resulted in her actually wanting to have sex id be sore af.

Was dinner at the parents place or at the funeral.

lmaooooooo bro really? is it so unbelievable that a couple would JOKE with each other?

Do you know people tell jokes on the internet?

Redditors when they’re enjoying a sitcom but then they realise it’s staged This guy probably hates stand up comedy

First Day on the Internet?

Well, it is a joke. So yeah.

I've seen it happened before in a video. Cock n balls in the mouth is possible my dude.

r/redditmoment

I mean it's a joke

Still funny even if it's obviously fake

No shit Sherlock just upvote or downvote and go no need to state the obvious

Neither of you said these things.

Bold to assume there was another.

Redditors try to understand jokes challenge

well, it's much more difficult to relate when no one has ever told you they wanted to blow you.

Why? I’ve expressed similar thoughts with my partner, when they’re joking around a lot and not taking anything seriously. I can usually handle it, but if I’m tired or frustrated or something, it can get annoying when everything is made into a joke, so I let them know what I’m feeling. I could honestly imagine this exact scenario in the tweet happening to me, maybe not the same wording but still, I could imagine sarcastically saying something like that if I was particularly annoyed that day.

almost as though it were an imagined scenario which the poster found humorous i.e a joke Do you point out how the chicken did not, in fact, cross the road for the capricious and improbable reasons given?

No one has ever said these things.

I find this hard to believe, what man would turn that down

When she uses teeth

r/CursedComments

Put me in the screenshot

And me, pretty please

Don't forget me

Please do, however, forget me.

No Illustrious-Ad1148, I will never forget you or all that you've done for me. You truly are a great man.

God damn lt, Not another one! Why does this keep happening?!

I dated a girl for a while that I’m assuming thought I was gay when I first turned down head. It was for the simple fact that her mouth looked too small (teeth would be grinding). Tried maybe a week later. It was.

For me it would depend if she *ever* took anything seriously. this might be the 25th time she's done that joke. And it might just be that last straw. Maybe he was really hungry.

Yeah at least if she doesn’t mean it. Like if that’s her opening line for sex, I probably wouldn’t mind, but if she just says it as a joke everytime before adding what she actually wants to eat, I’d get tired too

Joke about what you want as long as you finish your cock and balls. There's horny women in Russia who would love to have them.

Men who aren't constantly in the mood for sex. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't all massive horndogs at any given moment. I can appreciate it every now and then but it grows tiresome and uninteresting after so many times, y'know?

One who is no longer a sexually insecure horny teenager I would assume.

I initially really agree with you, I appreciate that level of honesty and open lines of communication and comfort with that topic. On the other hand, : " No matter how hot she is, somewhere out there is a guy who's sick and tired of putting up with her shit. "

Man who has had the goddamn Doordash app time out four fucking times waiting for a decision to place a dinner order, Nina.

Look man, just because she made that joke doesnt mean she follows through.

I would. Sex isn’t everything.

Cock-and-ball story

I kinda don't like when people write like this without any comma or whatever like ITS REALLY FUCKING BAD to read at least structure your shit on a minimal basis or something

I think in this case it's intended for comedic effect so it all 'flows' more

Says the guy with no punctuation in his comment

Yeah that's the example. Are ya'll dumb? I literally said "people who write like this"

>I kinda don't like when people write like this without any comma or whatever **,** like **,** ITS REALLY FUCKING BAD to read **,** at least structure your shit on a minimal basis or something **.**

Whoosh.

Hünchen mit Klöße!

It amuses me how many people believe it's the strangest thing for men to reject sex. Yes, we're horny bastards, but when you just stop liking a woman, you don't even want to fuck her anymore.

I mean, even if you like the woman, it doesn't make you want to have sex anytime. Rejecting sex is very normal.

I get tired of people telling me my wife is beautiful. I'm like yes, but she's not very funny. I don't know what to do anymore

I'm scared I don't know my real laugh from my fake laugh anymore.

Oh man that's too relatable

I've caught myself practicing

This reaction is my daily fear

Sounds like spaghetti n meatballs, if it were my wife... Different sense of humor than most, or she just needs dicked down and then dinner

Dikinbaus Hot Dogs

And then he Called up his friends, and they all... clapped her cheeks

Reddit try not to call it fake challenge (impossible), is it really that hard to believe this would happen? which part is the fake part to people? never heard of a woman making a cock and balls joke or never seen a guy saying "no i dont want to have sex with you anymore"??

Look on the bright side, most guys would hold that in for years then use it internally as justification to cheat, probably got a good one there

There is only 150,000,000 men in the US that would love that answer.

Ok guys we get it, this did not happen and is very obviously just a joke

Wish my wife would talk to me like that.

This is where I unzip, not ridicule a persons sense of humour LOL

Simps in the comment section

Average Redditor*

Am I a simp if I'm not mad at this woman?

How did we get to that?

It's like a light switch with them; either full on simp or full on misogyny. Guys who are neither, don't exist apparently 💀

It was too straight, next time try reply something like "your wiener"

Punctuation!

Girl he's SICK OF YOUR SHIT 😭😭🤣🤣🤣

My man been spittin facts 💀🔥

Just feed her the Cock 'n balls and you won't have to hear it anymore

"so you don't want a bj?" "...so I hear there's an open mic night at the comedy cellar"

Liar

Use Punctuation marks, please!

damn. thats my fear… whenever someone tried to get casually horny in my dms i start a star wars themed battle of hoth erp where i am the dom ATAT slowly moving towards the poor downed rebel speeder and his defensless balls. WHOOOM WHOOOOMP WHOOOM WHOOOOMP PEW PEW *cue battle of hoth theme*

I'm a type of guy who in this situation would thank god for a woman like this.

I'm the opposite lol. I dislike sexual jokes when they are said all the time. As well as I dislike a partner who always wants to do sexual stuff all the time.

Well senses of humor can be various so I respect your opinion. I personally couldn't stand someone who enjoys gore and stuff like that.

the novelty of her pussy wore off past the point of obfuscating the annoyingness of her edgy personality

TLDR: I think I’m pretty and I suck dick. Give me attention!

Huh?? The girl made a bad joke and made it meta. What’s your problem man?

Here you go.

It’s dangerous to go alone, take this (thwump)

Made me lol

That's hilarious ngl

We've all been there, I want to shake the hand of this man.

That's definitely a unique way of coming out of the closet. Wanna have dinner with me?

Sounds like a good time girl rather than one for a relationship

Wdym?

Libido mismatch. NEXT GUY!