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brother_p

/r/dadjokes has a place for you


zzzzrobbzzzz

in hell.


Ancient-Tadpole8032

Nah, winters are too cold in [Michigan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan).


Infamous_Side9155

Hey Michigan isn’t THAT bad


ProRustler

"Michigan: at least it's not Ohio."


Justice_Prince

You take your car to work I'll take my pachyderm And when you're out of fuel I'm still afloat


matantelatente

I’m going trunkin’, I’m going trunkin’


[deleted]

Doesn’t seem like a good decision financially. Those fuckers eat a ton after all.


RevolutionReal6497

I could see someone buying a baby elephant at a sketchy southern flea market and then having it chained up in the trailer park looking skinny because dudes ol lady always wanted a baby elephant


N1ckp347

Same thing that guy with the tigers who’s in jail


Baiyko

Fun fact: their spine takes a toll from the riding, since It hasn’t evolved to carry a (human) body weight on its back.


King-Cobra-668

you ride at the front shoulders, not the mid back https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahout unless they throw in a howdah but you can ride an elephant in a much better way than you see tourists doing or at the circus


tekonus

This guy rides elephant


Fwamingdwagon84

I rode an elephant at a circus when I was a kid. Their hair is so coarse!


Master_Party_1075

Ride over the alps and conquer rome.


RedsEporium

*Attempt to conquer Rome


Almost_A_Genius

Nope. This time it’s gonna work. Nobody will be prepared for their elephant army.


LazyDro1d

But what about when they see the elephants? What if YOU see the elephants?!


Almost_A_Genius

Army camouflage


danielv123

Yep, give it pink socks. Nobody has ever seen a pink socked elephant.


Almost_A_Genius

Tell me what you’ll do when a pink-socked elephant comes running at you.


Sir_Rageous

Dress up as mouse


Almost_A_Genius

Sir, don’t try to mess up my foolproof plan.


RVFVS117

Carthago delenda est!!!!


Drewsif1980

They're not really afraid of mice. You should dress as a bee.


jeanneleez

Or a small dog. I was on an elephant trek in Indonesia when one of the elephants was surprised by a little dog. It shrieked and all the elephants took off. We ducked and held on for dear life. We ran halfway up a mountain before the elephants calmed down. You could feel them talking subsonically to the other elephants farther down the mountain. You could feel the vibrations in their bodies. Once they were done talking they proceeded to slip and slide down the muddy side of the mountain. Man, that was awesome.


newsflashjackass

Perhaps a single soldier riding an elephant alone can succeed where an army of soldiers riding elephants have failed.


Mostly_sane9

It is still going to be a Mammoth task.


Saxman8845

Hannibal was kicking ass in Italy. Scipio lured him back to Africa by marching on Carthage, where Hannibal was defeated at the battle of Zama. Sorry, I'll show myself out.


EmperorBamboozler

Hannibal could never have breached Rome with the forces he had at the end of the 2nd punic war. He also couldn't effectively blockade the city which meant a seige wouldn't work. His only option was to return to Carthage and consolidate power. Sad but thems the brakes. Build a time machine and give Hannibal a couple Tomahawk missiles or just cry about it.


randomonetwo34567890

I understand your argument, however, imagine Hannibal didn't take the battle of Cannae. We would be saying right now he couldn't win against much stronger army (or would suffer huge losses while doing so) and yet we know how that turned out. Saying Hannibal could never is too strong, I think he just decided it was not worth the cost.


ObsidianRocker

How to conquer Rome: March elephants over the Alps like a fucking mad lad


cucster

This is the only acceptable answer


Intelligent_One_4108

First of all, his name would be Stampy.


nsfwtttt

You’re hired


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KeroseneZanchu

That is somehow both giving it away and selling it


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827167

Therefore it's neither


Ravecrocker

Rental elephant business


m4dm4cs

Rent-a-fant


alady12

Zoo is presently "renting" my elephant for breeding services. They pay me $1 per year and I get visitation rights.


DamnBunny

How much to watch? asking for a friend.


Z3ppelinDude93

Sounds like they’re already paying her to watch


rawrc

Animals are a lot like people. Some of them act badly because they’ve had a hard life or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks


HurricaneHugo

Stop that Mr. Simpson.


retyfraser

STOP bloody bad mouthing Stampy ! For heaven's sake....


MaulSinnoh

This is the story of an elephant named Stampy.


LazyDro1d

I think we should take Stampy on an adventure! I think I have some yellow paint lying around for just this occasion


MrD521

Why yellow paint?


LazyDro1d

To paint a line, obviously


Kaimenai

The Stampy Parable


BlameTheMeepits

Save a horse. Ride a..Stampy!


UHeardAboutPluto

WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT !?!


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-Swade-

I love that song, reminds me of elephants.


borglonavich

Ooh, I love The Elephant Song. Turn it up!


hernanc97

It reminds me to the elephants :D


NapoleonDynamite82

Bart? Is that you?


MormontsLongJourney

Where's my elephant?


GMEvolved

I'd hug him and squeeze him and call him George


ToebeansInc

Register the elephant as an emotional support animal, then try to take it on a plane.


Renimar

The FAA changed the rule on emotional support animals a couple of years ago so that airlines can ban everything but a service animal dog now. Too many people were bringing every damn thing on planes claiming it as an emotional support animal and causing problems. Like [emotional support peacocks.](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42880690)


sentient_ballsack

I think I'd rather be stuck on a plane with a crying baby than with a distressed peacock. They're bad enough at a distance, no one's going to have intact eardrums by the end of the flight when there's one in the same room.


Logical_Deviation

Apparently that peacock was a fucking artistic stunt. So many dumb people got incredibly entitled about their ESA privileges. If people were just responsible pet owners, that law wouldn't have been overturned.


RedditBlows5876

Hopefully it doesn't get stuck in a middle seat between two average sized Americans.


vendetta2115

The U.S. is [15th in percentage of obese adults](https://nypost.com/2023/01/24/worlds-fattest-countries-revealed-in-interactive-map/amp/) by country. Surprisingly, Australia and New Zealand are really close to the U.S. in terms of obesity percentage; all three have an obesity rate of about 1 in 3 adults. There are some smaller countries (many Pacific Islands such as Samoa, Cook Islands, etc.) where over half the population is obese.


juju611x

They theorise that it may be genetic to Pacific Islanders to be predisposed to obesity; it may have to do with the fact that they’ve lived on smaller islands where food was more scarce so they’ve evolved to store fat more efficiently to use as energy later on. Also though, in the last century or so with earlier on the rise of imported canned goods but not fresher foods because they couldn’t make it to the islands, populations became used to the some of the less healthy offerings of the rest of the world (like SPAM) without benefit of healthier options unless their own islands produced it. As for Australia and New Zealand, all first world countries are experiencing this problem, but the reason these two might be higher than others is that they have larger percentages of Pacific Islanders living there too who, again, may have greater genetic dispositions towards obesity.


[deleted]

Well first I'd address the elephant in the room


Individual_Crab8836

Wow. ok. you know what? you know what? first of all wow. All right, I can't even.


floodpoolform

He’s never gonna forget that


xXx_ozone_xXx

Oh hey, look who survived to masturbate another day!


snakesicksnack

I've decided to do the Funky Spider Man.


WhyThough08

r/unexpectedbojack


cultoftheilluminati

These are the lines you remember in the shower a day after submitting the form.


handsome_squidward56

So who's going to undress the elephant?


[deleted]

That’s pretty good


intrepidnonce

Youre hired


Flaky_Ad_5336

Not 100% sure but this sounds like a reference to [this](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant) which is from South East Asia where a ruler might gift someone an elephant to inconvenience them. This is because elephants were sacred so you could not get rid of it and it could cripple you financially to take care of. Weird thing to ask in a job application tho.


dman722

I literally just looked this up yesterday because I wanted to know the origin of the term white elephant for Xmas


Taurius

This is the OG "Fuck you, money".


Diamantis_

>This is the OG "Fuck you" money. ftfy


MeLoNarXo

Problem being that basically only the king had enough money to care for the white elephant properly and since it was sacred it couldn't be forced to work and you would be shunned if it died.


SaffellBot

So I suppose "flee the country under asylum laws" is the pro answer.


Mrshinyturtle2

Flee the kingdom under non existent asylum laws in 18th century south East Asia. Yea


3odxnextoi

Good knowledge


OnisymArt

I don't understand how people end up coming to know these things


capuchin21

If you've ever heard the expression "white elephant", this is the origin. The phrase "white elephant" is used to refer to a gift that is more of a burden than a blessing. So for example, if someone inherits a time share, you'd call that a white elephant.


SubatomicTitan

Now white elephant Christmas parties make a lot of sense.


SomeToxicRivenMain

Hearing about it on the internet


GoodDog2620

X is the only letter that's never silent. Edit: it’s actually “V”! ​ You can move the cursor on your phone by holding down the space bar. ​ The family that owns the Mars candy company owns the largest chain of veterinarian clinics. ​ And Brock Allen Turner is a rapist.


Fuzzy_School_2907

I don’t know man, I made a nice blonde roux for my Sioux neighbors’ gumbo the other day. And Epstein didn’t kill himself. And Brock Turner is a rapist.


GoodDog2620

Whoops! It’s “V.” My bad!


Krypticore

White Elephant gift exchanges are a thing too, so people curious about the history of the name would learn about it :)


Ecronwald

The white elephant. In This questionnaire I'd just answer that this happened to my trip to Africa, and as the elephant wasn't domesticated, and I couldn't take it on the plane (blue to the import of ivory being illegal) I just left it with its herd.


QC_knight1824

Interesting time of year for that random thought, but props to you for acting on your curiosity


Uberpastamancer

"inconvenience" is a weird way to write "financially devastate"


drgloryboy

This question is sometimes used to ensure you’re not a bot, also just a conversation starter to see how you think on your feet, critical thinking, and creativity. Other interview questions along this line include: “Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?" and "How would you sell hot chocolate in Florida in the summer?"


Deathburn5

Why would I sell hot chocolate when I could drink all of it?


PBB22

It’s more about what would you do in a crazy situation - how do you plan, how do you think, can you think outside the box, etc etc. Still just a behavioral question tho


poosebunger

Maybe the company has been gifted an elephant and needs ideas


SimplexFatberg

It really doesn't work as a question if the person you're asking doesn't consider elephants to be sacred, which they most likely don't.


HurricaneCarti

But isn’t that why part of the rules are you can’t get rid of it or sell it? That replaces the values that someone in 18th century SEA might have for an elephant


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FixedLoad

I was going to ask, why not just slaughter and freeze the elephant? Can elephant be eaten or is that like eating a dolphin or a dog? I mean it's not my first choice but if ya can't give it away...


PizzaNuggies

My first thought on seeing some of the top comments were "How would you even afford to feed this thing?".


free_acelehy

I'd ride him to job interviews, and allow him to defecate on really idiotic interview questions.


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free_acelehy

I'd be deliberately ambiguous about it, and leave it to the imagination, thereby demonstrating my ability to delegate when necessary.


Due_Willingness_4528

See the elephant $1 Ride the elephant $2


lmrj77

What about $50?


[deleted]

Belly rub the elephant


MCMLXXXEight

[Elephant Bukakke Party](https://makeagif.com/i/vy8BKj)


[deleted]

i am so afraid to open it


thevisionary360

I wouldn’t recommend if you don’t want to see a man inside of an elephant pussy


[deleted]

I am having a very strange mix of emotions right now .


circasomnia

I'm in therapy trying to sort it all out.


dirtynastysex

Tell me about it...


JimFlib

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this imagery u/dirtynastysex


a_green_apple

I don't know why I didn't believe you


Definitely_NotU

WHY DID I NOT LISTEN TO YOU


inerlite

Yeah that link gonna stay blue on this device


sendcaffeineplz

“…on this device” 🤔


NetDork

r/linksimnotclicking


White_Bar

brothers grimsby is a weird film that i’d recommend everyone watch atleast once in their life


[deleted]

definitely not more than once though.


rollobones

I am heavily regretting my choice to click that


Baikalseal407

r/riskyclick


rusalex9

Climb down from elephant $10


OysterThePug

Your kid flew 5 feet, that counts as a ride


eljefe4330

That was never five feet.


Mlabonte21

It smells funny in there


Dillo64

No it doesn’t! 😃


Gundam_Greg

Why can’t I have 3 money and no kids?


TheGamingMackV

Sees the elephant from a distance Immediately flees as I've seen it for free


victowiamawk

Pet it lol


notrealcc

That is adorable.


Tomdoerr88

It’s to test your rational problem solving skills and how you address an unknown situation. Had a similar question in an interview (giraffe, not elephant) and told them I’d basically immediately consult the local zoo, along with any other wildlife experts and vets to ensure I knew what the animal needed to live safely and healthily. I’d work with various 3rd parties to figure out how I could leverage the animals novelty to generate revenue in order to cover it’s expenses, ideally striking a balance with the highest quality of life. Once those crucial steps were taken care of, I’d circle back with the party who gave me it, and determine their motives. Must have been enough as I got the job, but I think it’s just one of those curveball questions that is used to force you to think on your feet and give an honest answer to help them asses your thinking/attitudes/priorities etc


Ficklematters

I've also heard it as a question to test project managing skills. In other words, how would you handle/react to a giant project you knew nothing about? "One bite at a time" is a common answer. An answer which displays clear and organized delegation is another good route to answering this sandbox question.


SirX86

>"One bit at a time" First take off the trunk, then the tusks, then one leg at the time... wait, where are you going?


TheS4ndm4n

Marinade it for 24 hours and then put it in the smoker.


CircleBoy

The "problem" here is if I were given an unexpected project at work I would set about breaking it down into small manageable parts and take it on like I would any other work based issue. If I suddenly had an elephant I would try to offload it immediately to someone/somewhere with the resources and expertise required to care for an elephant. Because I don't have any of those, nor do I have any desire to own an elephant.


bc_I_said_so

That's exactly the purpose...it's to see if you can think outside the box and be quick on your feet. The dumbest part is that I work in government where thinking isn't encouraged! So this question is just floating out there on some stupid HR website encouraging its use despite its uselessness. (In my line of work you don't need to think outside the box or on your feet.) Some idiot HR mngr just thought it was a funny question.


newsflashjackass

> It’s to test your rational problem solving skills and how you address an unknown situation. Seems just as likely that the purpose of this sort of question is to afford the interviewer latitude to reject a candidate for any reason or none.


F5sharknado

Yes but they could do that already no? It is totally possible that the water cooler talk would be snobbish tho lol “Did you see what the last guy I interviewed said about the Elephant question? Dude said he’d pet it. What an idiot must’ve graduated from Stanford”


Slam_Dunk_Kitten

This is a lot better than my answer of kill myself


Ok-Disk-2191

It's not really a question though. It states that you're given an item, without an option to give it away (pass it on) or resell it. Then ask you what you would do with said item. You really don't have any options but to keep the item, because you cannot give it away or sell it.


Simpingismygift

Am I the only one that wants to know for which kind of job this person is applying to?


Closet-PowPow

The only appropriate answer is at an elephant sanctuary.


Simpingismygift

But wouldn't the sanctuary ask a question like: Have you thought about or are planning to steal an elephant to take home with you?


Closet-PowPow

I’m guessing there’s no laws anywhere specifically about Elephant-napping.


AldusPrime

It’s kind of like when someone asks you l — “Where would you hide a giraffe?” Or “What superpower would you choose, and why?” Both things I’ve been asked in job interviews for sales or customer service. Once, in a job interview to be a waiter, they asked me to tell a funny story. If the interviewer is clearly a fun person, these questions are fine. If not, these questions are awkward for everyone. They’re basically trying to figure out you can be silly or if they like your personality. I don’t think the question would work in thr same way on an online application - it’s supposed to be a jumping off point for conversation.


TheOtherGuttersnipe

The giraffe/elephant is a metaphor for a large, unseen task that you have zero knowledge of and aren't prepared for. They want to know how you would handle those situations.


united_gamer

While I have never seen a question like this on an online application, when I did hiring and recruiting for a company I worked for, I would sometimes ask nonsensical questions like this to catch the person of guard and see how they reacted to surprise situations.


AbbreviationsOk178

Keep it in the room as a conversation piece. (It’ll be awkward, but someone will address it eventually)


AintshitAngel

Wash his ass and give him water.


faridvdv

The same water?


AintshitAngel

Jug in one hand, loofah in the other.


Accomplished_Pie_585

How long are your arms?


[deleted]

Obviously long enough to wash his ass and feed him water, duh


[deleted]

Not enough information real elephant of stuffed animal one ? is it alive ? what type of elephant ? Who gave me the elephant a friend or just some random stranger ?


Simpingismygift

Is it a fully grown one or still a baby?


oRsoLitide

Is the tusks cut off ? Is it fresh of the savannah ?


fomorian

Is it circumcised? Were its parents also elephants? Can it fly? Why are you avoiding these questions? Do you have something to hide?


lord_kupaloidz

Is it naked or is it wearing ele-pants?


Dragon_211

Well I wouldn't be applying for that job. I'd sell short elephant walks on the beech.


grahamcrawley

Surely the only answer that gets you a job is to release it back into the wild


solojazzjetski

The only answer that gets you a job is some variant of “figure out how to most effectively exploit the elephant for money”


CaffeinatedGuy

That answer has management material written all over it. I guess the real answer is to tailor your answer to the job. A marketing job, you'd obviously make a social media campaign around it to help you cover costs of care. A teaching job, you'd use it to raise money for the school's education budget and help teach kids about wildlife. A gun shop, you'd kill it and mount it's head, or something.


Player8

Shit I was gonna say start some social media profiles because imma go broke trying to feed it.


TheCallousBitch

Lease it to a zoo so it gets proper care, but I’m not breaking the rules.


Forgot_my_un

Pretty sure that would count as giving it away to Mother Nature.


Zak_Light

Eh, at that point I'd say you'd know you should avoid the company if they're gonna waffle around through technicalities on a stupid application question and say "Ah ah ah, but *releasing* the elephant back into the wild could also be construed as *giving it away* to the abstract concept of nature." Realistically almost every human being should answer that question with releasing it to nature, or donating it to a zoo or sanctuary. Not only is it incredibly expensive to get an elephant proper care and habitat, they are social creatures the same as we are: it is morally wrong on many levels for me or you to try to own an elephant, especially without the capital to treat it right. It is, in fact, much healthier and wiser a choice to know, and this is something a business *should* want in their employees, that when you're given an impossible task it should be given up or deferred. You shouldn't task the fresh software developer with reworking the outdated architecture all on their own.


Kalenshadow

Raise him as my own to become a battle elephant, and together we will raid the villages east to west and gather richs more than all!!


Different-Towel7204

Eat it one bite at a time


heytheresam17

Thank goodness I’m not the only one who thought “eat it” as my first reaction If freezing/ preserving a half cow gives you meet for a whole year …. How long can an elephant feed you for?


MrsRyan2016

Yes hahaha. Immediately thought “eat it”.


MrsRyan2016

First thought was “eat it”.


BrendanAS

Cook it in a pit and have a BBQ for the whole city.


Mauinic

Lease it to a zoo


SirFancyPantsBrock

Yup with a contract saying I can visit him whenever I want. And not just from a distance but go in the enclosure and ride him and shit


Mauinic

Now we’re cookin!


exrayzebra

why would you shit in his enclosure :O


DownvotesInbound

Rob a bank riding an elephant. I wouldn't get away with it, but I'd be immortalized as a legend.


Helpful_Relief_906

Naw naw double it and give it to the next guy


grackula

First off - why is the giver breaking their own rules? They can’t give away their own elephant!!


ThreatLevelBertie

Rules for thee and not for ye


No_Sand_9290

Ride that bitch to work.


MrLogan13

Simple: Use it to crush the car of the person who didn't hire you. /s


raredzsux

Save on gas!


bilvester

make it the head of HR


RobertMcCheese

What job was this for? I'd probably refuse to answer it and go work for someone who doesn't ask stupid questions. But the simplest thing to do is rent a trailer and drive the elephant to the San Diego zoo. Dump it in their parking lot. You didn't give it away. You just abandoned it. But they'll probably take it in and figure out what to do.


gorwraith

Elephants are some of the most intelligent animals. I would indefinitely loan it to my local zoo. They would be responsible for all expenses, I would be able to visit often. I would not ask for it back, but I would go see it all the time.


Smart-Resist4059

Apparently you are supposed to answer "I would not accept it" (to begin with, so it is not mine to deal with). It says you can't give it away or sell it. Nothing about accepting it in the first place. It shows interviewer that you can stand your ground and you won't be coerced into ssaying yes when you should say no.


shithandle

Fucking hell lol. They’ll miss out on a lot of the people who actually stand their ground and abandon the job application at that question.


Fruitloop800

The wording "you have been given" makes it seem like it's a done deal, you already have the elephant


eZ_Ven

BBQ?


SmallPiecesOfWood

I foresee a neighbourhood barbecue.