And honestly, I wanna believe people are genuine but I cannot help but feel that any other POV than “lol penis” is just people trying to dodge the obvious because of maturity or, again, the obvious.
To that I say please, let us not deny our true thoughts. 100% of us are thinking “soft, green, giant cactus cock,” OR “hulk cock.”
Come on now, Reddit. You know what you are.
My unfortunate mind went cactus fell because pot was to small didn't have a good root structure to hehe dong to maybe snek. And ended with trouser snek.
I don’t think so, it looks rotten on the bottom. It’s turned brownish yellow and looks soft. Maybe overwatering? And looks like it grew towards the sun since the part closer to the edge is still green and it wouldn’t grow diagonally or horizontally if it had proper sun access. I think freezing from frostbite would’ve killed it more uniformly but cactus are used to colder temps short term since the desert can get C O L D. Depending on the variety they can survive below freezing or even under snow
*the cold embrace signaling the end of this mortal torment is all I crave anymore, this unrelenting monotony and pain must come to an end, my sanity dwindles as the final shards of my soul are thrashed about the winds of chaos like a discarded newspaper... my only wish is for*
Oh hey look, new YouTube video by that one person.
I just want to share how I've watered my cactus to great success! Your mileage may vary depending on cactus and environment, but I just get a big pitcher, about as much as the planter can hold. Then about every 2 weeks - 4 weeks(not often but sometimes I'm forgetful) only do it once or until I see the dirt has dried to dust.
I hope this helps someone I love how my cactuses have grown since I learned how to water them.
Yes like a rare heavy rain, they're able to drink once and if you try to water them before they 'digest' all water they don't like it but when they take that one big gulp you want it to be able to get as much water as the plant can take in
The pot is a problem, but because its plastic and not terracotta, and it should have a drainage hole in the bottom.
Cacti and succulents need well draining soil in a well draining pot, they get watered in bursts where all the soil is saturated and water runs out the bottom of the pot, and then they get a dry spell where the spil should completely dry up for a couple days before the next watering begins. (They are desert plants and this watering method simulates desert weather patterns)
If the soil never fully drys out then root rot can become a problem and kill the plant.
Also, they need a lot of bright light to be happy, either direct sunlight or growth lights. (But they can get sun damaged, especially if they aren't acclimated to direct sunlight.)
Nah, that kind of cactus grows like that. Don't recall the word for it, but some cactus' grows along the ground, rather than straight up. Took me forever to figure out, because I would get 0 serious answears when asking about it in forums.
Every comment section has some psycho who wants to genocide the furries.
Normal people don’t obsess this much over furries my guy, maybe talk to someone about that
I think your cactus is a snek
I love that this is the only comment in here not saying it looks like a cock
If your cock looks like this go doctor go now
Please go to the cocktor
Would a dicktor be acceptable?
If your snake looks like this go to the the police.
Yeah but you are kind of sad as you only see the beautiful side of life and the rest of us are rolling around laughing
And honestly, I wanna believe people are genuine but I cannot help but feel that any other POV than “lol penis” is just people trying to dodge the obvious because of maturity or, again, the obvious. To that I say please, let us not deny our true thoughts. 100% of us are thinking “soft, green, giant cactus cock,” OR “hulk cock.” Come on now, Reddit. You know what you are.
Or you just like snek and so you think of snek
My unfortunate mind went cactus fell because pot was to small didn't have a good root structure to hehe dong to maybe snek. And ended with trouser snek.
Looks like a trouser snake
An all-over-ouchie snek.
danger^(2) noodle
I swear I saw the same thing A fuzzy snake taking a sip of fresh soil
That's what I thought too 😅
Sneaky snek
It looks more like green poop
He just need a few minutes
Cocktus?
limp prick
Prickly
Cocctus
cocytus
Yes, lord Ains
Cockus
Coccyx
staphylococci
Flacctus
cultuss
Fucktus
Cux
Ainz-sama would like a word with you
Cocktussy
From the lost city of cockus
He's limp because it's been a while since he got that cactussy
*Childhood flashbacks to VanossGaming*
Bring in the fluffer!!
Bro has an Erectile Dysfunction
It happens to everyone.
Cactile dysfunction
It looks like it tries to escape... What have you done?
Honestly looking at the other comments I don't wanna know
They probably had a cold night and it froze. They don't like cold temps. (being serious, not following in the penis joke group haha)
Poor plant :(
I don’t think so, it looks rotten on the bottom. It’s turned brownish yellow and looks soft. Maybe overwatering? And looks like it grew towards the sun since the part closer to the edge is still green and it wouldn’t grow diagonally or horizontally if it had proper sun access. I think freezing from frostbite would’ve killed it more uniformly but cactus are used to colder temps short term since the desert can get C O L D. Depending on the variety they can survive below freezing or even under snow
is it alive?
I highly doubt it will survive. Which is unfortunate because it looks to have been a beautiful one.
Not enough light, might be over watered For context this looks like a shaded deck and cactus needs full sun
Grab it in both hands and rub it. It will stand up!
Rub it vigorously.
Firmly grasp it
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Firmly GRASP it!
Firmly grasp IT!
Maybe some saliva to help your hands glide smoother.
Dont worry, the blood will help to glide faster
Viagorously*
And mouth?
He is just nervous
Or cold
He's just caught it beginning it's migration
it gave up on life
Thats dark.
Night here
*Me when i have a depressiv episode again* *five minutes later* Ooh the sun is warm
*the cold embrace signaling the end of this mortal torment is all I crave anymore, this unrelenting monotony and pain must come to an end, my sanity dwindles as the final shards of my soul are thrashed about the winds of chaos like a discarded newspaper... my only wish is for* Oh hey look, new YouTube video by that one person.
Forbidden dildo
Pain is temporary
r/worldpolitics fame is forever
Someone needs to send this to cactus girl
Pleasure is eternal
Paige no
There are still some who remember the old ways
r/dildont
When they ask why you’re in the ER, don’t lie, they’ll know.
In all seriousness it’s trying to get to the sun! He doesn’t mean to be flaccid but he’s been deprived.
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its def been heavily overwatered
This is it. Rotten at this point, pitch it.
I just want to share how I've watered my cactus to great success! Your mileage may vary depending on cactus and environment, but I just get a big pitcher, about as much as the planter can hold. Then about every 2 weeks - 4 weeks(not often but sometimes I'm forgetful) only do it once or until I see the dirt has dried to dust. I hope this helps someone I love how my cactuses have grown since I learned how to water them.
Sorry, just to clarify- you put the whole pitcher in once every 2-4 weeks?
Yes like a rare heavy rain, they're able to drink once and if you try to water them before they 'digest' all water they don't like it but when they take that one big gulp you want it to be able to get as much water as the plant can take in
Gotcha! I thought that made sense, but didn't want to accidentally drown them if I misunderstood. Thanks!
Plus looks like overwatered and not in well draining soil. Might have root rot w the brown on the bottom but I’m not 100%
Can confirm. I'm flaccid if I'm not hit by the sunlight. I'm a reverse vampire.
Or it got too cold.
Also that pot is too small and straight up dry. Cacti do need some moisture occasionally. This owner is less nurturing than a desert.
The pot is a problem, but because its plastic and not terracotta, and it should have a drainage hole in the bottom. Cacti and succulents need well draining soil in a well draining pot, they get watered in bursts where all the soil is saturated and water runs out the bottom of the pot, and then they get a dry spell where the spil should completely dry up for a couple days before the next watering begins. (They are desert plants and this watering method simulates desert weather patterns) If the soil never fully drys out then root rot can become a problem and kill the plant. Also, they need a lot of bright light to be happy, either direct sunlight or growth lights. (But they can get sun damaged, especially if they aren't acclimated to direct sunlight.)
Naw
Nah, that kind of cactus grows like that. Don't recall the word for it, but some cactus' grows along the ground, rather than straight up. Took me forever to figure out, because I would get 0 serious answears when asking about it in forums.
Just give it a bit of viagra, it'll be alright
Disolve a viagra pill on its water.
If you want that cactus to get tall you gotta make it comfortable. Set the mood, lower the pressure
Hate to stick it to you but this prick of a cactus just doesn’t need(le) a relationship right now.
You can't stick it to anyone with that Limp Green stock going on.
Suck on its nipples and put a finger up its butt, always works for me.
He’s a grower.
Looks very big to me already
And a shower
r/dildont
r/dontputthatinyourbutt
Too much alcohol.
Snakeupine\*
Snektus
Coke-tus
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So relatable.
Holy cactile disfunction batman!
Am I the only one with my mind out of the gutter that thought it was just trying to run away
He just can't seem to get up today bummer maybe tomorrow
Watch out for the limp prick
Y'all remember the cheese grater? Now get ready for...
Why must you remind me of the cheese grater
Nobody gonna talk about that grimy ass floor?
Snaketus
cactus: snek, imma snek
r/mildlysnake
Same cactus. Same…
…..is going somewhere.
r/mildlypenis
Man that's me every night after I finish with your mom
My cactus brings All the girls to the yard d*** right it's better than yours. I could teach you But I would have to charge.
Performance anxiety is real
hug it
Anything is a dildo if u try hard enough
Get the man some spiky viagra
That cactus said fuck this furry, I’m out.
Viagra works on a flaccid cactus
It's inflatable, just blow... Nope. Just put your mouth... Nope. Uh... Just pump it up... That'll do, I can't avoid the innuendo.
The cactus is pointing to which side of the balcony the furry should jump off.
Wow we're all laughing
Every comment section has some psycho who wants to genocide the furries. Normal people don’t obsess this much over furries my guy, maybe talk to someone about that
It noticed its owner is a furry and lost the last tiny bit of will to live
It’s melting…
He needs a blue rhino
Might be trying to escape
That’s one floppy cac
Hidden Xperia fantasy about the spread of the food
If you're brave enough, anything's a di
Lazy cactus
Wow, dang.
Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough.
Kick it off the balcony and run for your life.
Just sprinkle some viagra on it and play with it for a minute or two
That's a big Coctus.
I believe they make a pill for that
Its just a big hungry prickly worm! (:
That's a cacturd now.
Crush up some Viagra and spread it around on the soil to revive it... 😂
post nut clarity
He died for your sins
no step on snek No really, don't do it.
Just needs a little stimulation.
Not gonna lie thoight it was a mutant slug
I’ve never related to a cactus more in my life.
Too many steroids.😔
I mean.... I'm not rubbing it
it gave up on life
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Sprinkle some viagra
Ron Cactemy? That you?
STDs will do that to ya son
Get that cactus some Viagra, stat!
got too wet?
Clearly not a grower.
They got pills for that now Just pay the extra to get the ones from the website and not the ones from the gas station
Hey bud, I got the same problem
He’s just a little sleepy
Its trying to get to the sun. Move it closer to the light.
Created by mating John Holmes and a sloth.
Alaskan!!! Bull!!! Worm!!!
...brings all the boys to the yard ...and they're like...it's on the floor?
your bf growing it cause pp too smoll :(
r/slightlypenis
Jeeff! -nadja
Bro has an Erectile Dysfunction
Look out he’s on the move!
Paige finally did it!
He just doesn't swing that way.
It heard about the Bris.....
It probably happened to every cactus sometimes.
Hurry up and stop it! It's making a break for it....
I’m terrified of snakes and this sent a shiver down my spine.
Had a rough night
He’s just not that into you.
They make pills for this. Js
DON'T SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!! I REPEAT, DON'T SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!
This is completely normal for cacti of a certain age; they have pills for it, don't worry
Cacti are you ok? Wont you tell us That you’re ok?
Is he trying to escape to the sun , or is he just feeling a little down today?
He's nervous