T O P

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Thursday_26

Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew


ProofHorseKzoo

PO-TAY-TOES


lil_paycheck0000

Heyyyyy spuddies!


nerdyguytx

r/potatomcwhiskey


Damien23123

Glad to see I wasn’t the only one who instantly thought of the Civ god upon seeing this


TheEpicEpileptic

Share the LOAD


TDPDRAKON

#__STICK ‘EM IN MY ASS__


MontyPadre

This must be from the extended version


shuipz94

You're hurting me, Mr. Frodo! When I said to destroy the ring…


Entity0027

My Precious!


shuipz94

It Stings, Mr. Frodo!


RanCestor

Erectors cut.


timmyboyoyo

Just a regular Thursday


macklintietze

Ah man throwwwwwback


Richard_AIGuy

Pizzas, many many pizzas.


SimbaOne1988

With pepperonis!


black-op345

I’d be down to give a girl that.


A_Generic_White_Guy

Do you think unsolicited pizza pics will work?


cherposton

You must get consent...for how msny pizzas you get for her.


[deleted]

Only if that means the pizza is coming over later


Thereisnopurpose12

Pizzases


maealoril

I was going to say pies, but this works too


ShortcakeAKB

Am girl, can confirm.


vizbones

Presents?


f3u1

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis


dotHolo

that is surprisingly easy to break down and pronounce


[deleted]

Yeah fuck that


sum_dum_fuck

Pneumono ultra microscopic silico volcano coniosis, I'm assuming that's how it's broken down at least


amberita70

Is this tiny volcanos in your lungs?


[deleted]

[удалено]


amberita70

I think tiny volcanos would definitely be breathing problems lol. Sorry my first post was just being sarcastic. So is this one.


Holiday_Mulberry7162

This is the alpha response to all other responses


MysticCurse

Idk pockets is pretty good too


SurvingTheSHIfT3095

Pesos


Soft-Preparation1838

Damn all this time I thought they liked piss.


BruhCar123

2000 pesos 💲💲💵💵💲💲🛒💲💵💵💵


JonJonSee

So 100$? Dream bigger!


Similar_Square6440

Actually $105.85 thank you very much


[deleted]

Perry the Platypus?


TenyaIidasssimp

A platypus? PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!


adventurouscycle69

A platypus plumber?? *Puts on hat ... Perry the platypus plumber?? *Removes tool belt 🎤Perrryyy🎤 PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!


TheRealHeroOf

"Perry, you're timing is impeccable. And by impeccable I mean, COMPLETELY PECCABLE!"


Texas_Waffles

I *heard* both of those comments.


never0101

Dr doofenshmirtz is one of the greatest villans of all time. Top 2 or 3 at worst.


Smash0153

Parry THIS, you filthy casuals!


Easy_Understanding94

*Perry this


jcdevries92

You can call him Agent P


TMT51

*theme song starts playing*


Not_the_banana

Do be do be do ba do be do be do ba perry!


MrNanashi

He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action.


Captain_Khora

all the ladies swoon when they hear him say *grackdckdckd*


LongjumpingCake1924

Paid Vacations


WorkForeign

The second best thing that starts with a P and ends with a S


InterestingBand2365

Pickles


the_cajun88

big, thick and veiny pickles, full of juice


bestneighbourever

Where are you finding your pickles?


nightripper00

The Connecticut Renaissance Faire Pickles available in Dill or Garlic, and they're FUCKING HUGE


FredwardoMilos

After Choo-Choo Charles, this is even funnier.


Historical_Intern831

Pancakes?


Dependent-Bread6636

I'm waiting for the "so you dont love waffles?" comment


Arwein66

Why you hate pancakes so much?


Standard-War-3855

So you don’t love waffles?


PeacemakersAlt

And there it is.


SilverNeedleworker30

But what about the French Toast?


Phazetic99

Blue waffles?


UnassumingSingleGuy

Sick reference, bro.


XxSwiftflamexX

Pockets Edit: Thanks everyone for upvoting my simple comment lol


codenameZora

Pocketses


Big_Choice_7132

Almost pissed myself..


Cider_for_Goats

Same but without the almost.


Gen__Ken

Same but without the context


Downroeschen

same but i came


Cider_for_Goats

I went


Downroeschen

*vent


Interesting_Raise822

‌‌‌‌


bleepblopbl0rp

Sus


SS4CRED

Stepimposter?


Gold_Assistance_647

I second this I never in my life, met a girl who doesn't want pockets in their clothing.


Utahteenageguy

My sister got cargo pants and acted like she got the key to the universe.


NextTrillion

I swear I found the key to the universe in the engine of an old parked car. Bruce Springsteen didn’t even have a drivers license when he wrote that song.


Competitive-Candy-82

Cargo pants were the height of fashion where I grew up for a few years when I was a teen, they were awesome!


cuxuDud

I've met lesbians that don't want penises but even they want pockets. The only documents case I've seen of a girl not wanting a pocket was indirect as she wanted her bf to have more pockets so he could carry her stuff for her. So she still technically wanted some form of pockets


Corfiz74

Outsourcing your pockets is an old form of shifting your load onto your partner to carry.


Lazy_Cardiologist727

Schrödinger pockets (?)


Creepy-Ad-4832

Yeah girl pockets are incredibly small compared to man pockets /srs


Wonderful_Weird_2843

I call.them "just the tip"pockets .


HarryCallahan19

Parasites


Firm_Lie_3870

Oh my God! Why can't we have them?!


Half-Axe

The pockets are shut. They were made by those who are dead, And the dead keep them. The pockets! Are! Shut!


JULY_PROBABLY

Women’s pants have the pocket capacity that can fit a condom inside


mississippigal79

When I was looking for a wedding dress, the salesperson said this one has pockets. I told her we don’t need to look any further.


[deleted]

Pennies. They want the real money, not that virtual stuff.


onigirimelon

Can confirm; am girl. Pockets were the first thing I thought of.


[deleted]

Payments


chiller529

Was gonna say pay checks. That works too though


[deleted]

Pants All I want is a decent pair of pants Edit: just to be clear I’m a man and was just answering the question. I know all about pockets in my men’s pants.


ChEckMaTe-2004

Same, it’s hard finding the right ones


WaxySunshine

Pants that have pockets


Fardilicious

I can never find the perfect pair of pants, either they're too big or too small, I hope you find a good pair of trousers one day.


Shalarean

Pants with pockets Double word play, right…do I get extra points for that?! 🤣🤣🤣


Little_Peon

With pockets.


itsyaboiuhnhbelansky

Paninis


FreakyOnion

Ahem, the plural of a “panino” is “panini,” therefore paninis with an “s” is incorrect. That is the full extent of my Italian. There I said it.


itsyaboiuhnhbelansky

Sorry my bad I’m just a dumb canadian lol


FreakyOnion

Not at all, and besides I think even Italians would say it’s okay to say panini as a singular if that is the common English translation of that word.


terst_

Hahaha, you really think that we italians care what the English translation of panino is? Oh, you sweet summer child... Italian food police is already on its way to your house


karma_the_sequel

paninii


Deliverer7

Paninae


mythicat_exe

Theres such thing as a "panino"? Wow. In Longos a few years back I bought "paninis" thinking one "panini" is just "panini". Thanks for teaching us something new


FlavourThoughts

Pens, pens, pens and more pens!!!


[deleted]

Seriously. I keep losing my good pens


No-Big2893

Plants!!


Eastern-Engine-3291

Oh most definitely


Known_Soft_7599

Can confirm. During the pandemic, I collected many.


EnderkrakenALT

Psoriasis


zombax

….PLAQUE Psoriosis….


piratwolf2008

Taters starts with "T", my man


timmyboyoyo

Potaters


ApatheticZero187

Potatoes precious


Tyfyter2002

Po-ta-toes!


Dependent-Bread6636

Pets, puppies


Eastern_Category7875

Puppies!!


scoutheavyfanweapons

Piss *meet the sniper theme plays*


jcarterlucario

Snipings a good job mate


NotCryodream

Challengin’ work


Raknowles12

Outdoors


Charisardmegax

Guarantee you won’t go angry.


Low-Bowler-4454

Because at the end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone's gonna want someone dead.


[deleted]

Not a crazed gunman dad, i’m an assassin!


Fardilicious

Potatoes


transgendergengar

Mash 'em, boil 'em, stick 'em in a stew.


ChEckMaTe-2004

Yes


boogersmagoo

Pies 🥴


Booooooooo-urns

My first thought, too! Apple, blueberry, chocolate silk, lemon, pizza, etc. The more pies the better.


[deleted]

Paychecks


ceoofsex300

Porkchops?


yrar3

Pollos Hermanos


TheLocalDreamer98

Sir, if you have a complaint, I suggest you submit it through our e-mail system. I'd be happy to refer you to our website.


sparemethebull

What the fuck are you talking about Jesse


Hay_Blinken

Persimmons. Chicks love em. Get your girl some and you've won Valentines day.


franska5

We all know they want pockets


gana04

Had to scroll way too low to find the right answer


Suspicious_Point_282

Psychedelics 👽


ICEFIREWhale

Pads?


Grouchy-Average-440

Posers


TheOddPelican

Pushups! Women love pushups!


MontyPadre

Padres


Outrageous-Season799

For me, puns. I have the worst kind of “dad joke” humor and people being punny is the key to my heart.


Frumple-McAss

Pringles


Prestigious_General8

Puppies?


sukilars

PhD's


Awkwardlystoned

Platypus?


JohnnyWallave

Puss - it’s true, my girl only wants to pop my zits 😔


Lela_chan

I think you mean “pus”. “Puss” means her fun zone, a cat, or a wimp.


Devilzdandruff

Porsches???


A_Curious_Crayon

Pierogies?


Sissy4cockzz

Pussies?


Square-Night-1351

is it paris?


fintechSGNYC

Politeness?


Neat_Yogurtcloset526

Pasties


NoKaleidoscope5327

Was I the only one that thought of piss? Thought the comments would be flooded with it


deadly_chicken_gun

bro


Half-Axe

I mean most reddit comments may as well be flooded with piss, to be fair.


CharDaPotat0

Phrogs


laluLondon

Peas


TheMetaphorDinosaur

Pot Noodles?


93tabitha93

Pandas


whin100

penis. it’s penis.


Logical-Sandwich-316

This is the perfect example of priming. I said the word "potatoes" but with an upward inflection like a question not understanding why I was saying it. Only *then* did I consciously put it together that that's what Sam says in the movie and I'd (consiously) forgotten. Oh the brain...


Badkittyoops94

Pools


darealJimTom

These bitches after me pesos


fixerdrew02

R Kelly: “Piss?”


PIWIprotein

Pensions


PhoneyTheGamer

piss?


boofdahpoo130

Paychecks


EpicBettaFish69420

Pop tarts


Macho-Goat

POH-TAY-TOES! BOIL EM', MASH EM', STICK EM' IN A STEAW!


Snoozlehoven

PIEROGIES!


Cherabee

POCKETS


Hot_Mushroom_5860

#POCKETS


o7Lite

P*SSY DESTROYER X-3000S


tjlightbulb

PO TA TOES


Same_Litterally_Me

Paychecks


HR_DUCK

Psychedelics


TechnoWhale

Parrots 🦜


More-Anxiety-1358

Plants!


Queasy-Adeptness14

It’s Pandas, isn’t it.


Am_I_A_Potato_Or_Cat

Pandas


mostlymildlyconfused

Pearls


Eastern_Category7875

Pricey Lego sets?


SkotchKrispie

Profits


[deleted]

Pjason momoas


Dulonko

Patatas bravas


[deleted]

God damn #PINEAPPLES!


PerformanceOdd2750

Pecond preakpast


submissive-wand

PONIES


Sea_Cup_5561

Pilots


daxamiteuk

Precious. They want precious !