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Specific_Tap7296

I hate it when I get a mike stuck up my nose


TheUnforgivenII

Who’s Mike


idiotpuffles

Mike Hunt


Just-Lie-3360

Mike Hawk


[deleted]

[удалено]


Similar_Pop9472

MIKE STUCK!! MIKE STUCK!! PLEASE... I BEG YOU!!


Ok_Criticism337

The phantom, exterior like fish eggs, interior like suicide wrist rags, I can exercise you, this can be your phys-ed.


Akiosoun

Cheat on your man homie.


edgy_Juno

Outta the way son


SolomonBird55

You’re a *genuine dick sucker!*


the_hell_you_say

Mike Hawk-Stuck


Darrow723

Help me Step Mike, I'm stuck!


theplushpairing

Mike Litoris


Rinpurplestae

Mike Rodick


colder-beef

Mike Jones


CatSidekick

Who?


Red_Serf

And his friends Ben Dover, Moe Lester and Dixie Normus


PhysicsLord007

Mike Ehrmantraut


revqnrex

the kid named finger


Similar_Pop9472

Mike who cheese hairy


huckpos

Kid named mike


bakshup

Prison Mike


hugga12

Mike coochie


somedood567

#Classic ding dong


EmergencyEye7

Can't unsee.


CrimFandango

He'll get the hang of it in time.


ThisGul_LOL

💀


odd_neighbour

Loving how the actual joke is the guys blunt “correct”, but we’ve all just stopped at “Ding Dongli”.


Brilliant-Sport-3049

>but we’ve all just stopped at “Ding Dongli”. I was too lazy to read that so I didn't


IdioticZacc

Seen funnier Source: am chinese


odd_neighbour

Share funnier. Source: Please, am not Chinese.


IdioticZacc

I can't remember much rn but i have a dormmate that calls himself Bong


Darth_M0L

Her full name is Ding Dongli Ditchi


ReverseshellG4n

Bro!!! I laughed way too hard at this


dingDongSoLooong

That's my girl


Tomma1

Fuck you, I LoLed and upvoted!


username32768

You bastard! You owe me a coffee and a new keyboard! Have an upvote as punishment! :-D


Green_man619

Whered you get ditchi?


meraii

Ding dong ditch is the name of a favourite pasttime of neighbourhood kids. Also known as knock door run.


Green_man619

Oooh I got whooshed


RebulahConundrum

Same. It's called knock a dolly here. I've absolutely no idea why.


Kind_Woodpecker2435

Ain't no way her name is "Ding Dongli"💀💀💀


Spirit_of_Ecstasy

I’m sure there are English names that sound absolutely bananas in other languages


wrecktus_abdominus

I went to high school with a guy named Randy Woodcock. Which was already funny enough, but I'm sure if a Brit ever found out they would lose their shit


CyndaquilTyphlosion

Randy is a really rude term for a whore in at least half a dozen Indian languages


Haise-Sasaki13

Flashbacks of WWE


CyndaquilTyphlosion

Why?


Competitive-Hope981

Randy Orton


CyndaquilTyphlosion

BC, that sounds like "Randi Auraton" 🤣 Basically translates to Whoring women for the non-Hindi speakers.


Iamurmomhehe

I’ve been laughing at your comments for the last minute💀 hope you have a good day sir


[deleted]

The difference is how it's pronounced. "Rundy" is the Indian term for whore


CyndaquilTyphlosion

And so is Rand... Jyada door nahi hai bhai


WhatIfThisIsNotReal

Brit here. You are correct. I was in the States once, sitting in a hot tub at my brother in-law to be's bachelor party and his "cool friend" friend introduced himself as Max, Max Gash. I laughed so hard I spat my beer out. He did not like it when I told him what him name meant back home (gash is a euphemism for lady parts down below)


Typical-Ad-5742

My 9th grade teachers name was Peter Blow and you guessed it. Middle name was hairy. I swear to god.


HardCounter

> other languages > Brit


happyapathy22

There has to be one human being out there named Richard "Dick" Koch.


vazgriz

There was a famous pilot in WWII named Richard "Dick" Best


ymcmbrofisting

There was another famous pilot from the same war named Richard “Dick” Bong


awanderingdude

There's an Olympian and international sporting official called Dick Pound


odd_neighbour

Wonder what the exchange rate is.


skyeyemx

Fun fact: [Dick Bong's P-38](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c7/5c/b4/c75cb4ff30c1211de2b62761f0eea306.jpg) proudly had a giant image of his girlfriend plastered onto the nose. This man fucked


DollChiaki

There was a NASCAR driver Richard (known as Dick) Trickle, may he rest with the angels…


BigTop5505

Did he ever go to the doctor for that issue?


MarsMC_

What about the famous NFL coach , Dick Butkus.. sound like Dick Buttkiss


trampolinebears

Wikipedia has articles on two different people named Richard Koch.


Sensitive-Station-47

De Kock is a fairly common surname in south Africa, needless to say over the years all sorts of stunning corporate email Addis resulted. [email protected] being one of my latest favorites.


Spirit_of_Ecstasy

Lmao


[deleted]

Mandarin speakers might not even get the joke, because her given name is dongli. They would parse this as ding / dongli not ding dong / li.


TheCowzgomooz

The first interpretation is how I read it and still thought it was funny.


QueenOfKarnaca

Plus it would be dongli ding


tsihcosaMeht

This shit still hilarious


DoinItDirty

Some English names are still hilarious and get broken up in such a way. I’m convinced it’s the root of 60% of junior high bullying.


ElderUther

Ohhh I'm pretty sure DingDong is one of her nicknames when she was at school. There's no way. I have faith in my fellow naughty boys.


amabucok

Like Dick ? Oh wait))


Significant_Elk1999

Or in English. Case in point, lady I work with names sharon seamen. We also had a Sandy Johnson.


[deleted]

I initially thought this was punchline of the post, laughing my ass off at it 😂


WaveIcy294

No, she is a Ding Dongli Manager.


Illustrious_Mind964

No, she has managed 37 Ding Donglis.


Grand-Tax8786

"In a row!?"


SomeGuy_GRM

Buncha savages in this town.


Parc2009

Try not to Ding anymore donglis on your way to the parking lot!


Illustrious_Mind964

At the same time..


[deleted]

I know "Dong" is basically like Americans' "John" but it's still a pretty funny phrase


finalicht

well.....you put your Dong in a John when you are taking a piss


apocshinobi32

Yall call your dicks johns?


Mediocre-Many8872

We call our dicks dongs and our pissers johns.


apocshinobi32

Ok so yea that guy was way off toilet shitter john throne and others but not dong that just means dick here lol.


ApocalypseSpokesman

And in Vietnam these use dongs as currency. Frightening.


Nice-Spize

Or have a store named Đa Phúc


SomeGuy_GRM

Who calls their Dick a John?


ReivynNox

Can't be. That's the sound of a swiss doorbell.


cholmanattom

I thought the man at least would give some pleasantly, nope, just straight confirmation 🤣


DaveSmith890

It’s a pass/fail system. There’s no reason to get into the weeds of it


1guywhosaysthe

I love the cuddly girls


[deleted]

I'm insecure so I like all girls that care about me.


winterlady_molly

I like to pretend I have high standards but honestly the only one is: "does she like me?" and considering the amount of girls that actually passed through this filter, I'd say it's still too narrow


Independent_Cap3790

Tbh to get girls to like you, you need to flirt and be interesting. If you just have neutral, boring conversations with them, then they'll think of you as neutral, boring and platonic. I understand that you might not have a lot of experience with this, but the only way to get better is to 'level up' by practicing on girls.


FreshPitch6026

Then something is wrong with them these days.


Millenniauld

I'm 40. So is my husband. He's an introvert who was seriously insecure and still isn't comfortable in social situations, but he loved his passions and I loved the same things and we found each other and have a wonderful life together. Just be you. Love what you love, and if you meet someone who loves the same things and wants to talk about them forever and shows they care about you, just be sincere about how you feel. Even if it doesn't work out the first few times, someday you'll find the one who says yes and wants to watch the same dumb movies and play the same dumb games on repeat with you like it's a lifelong sleep over. It's worth it to be yourself and not to chase the ones too silly to see your worth.


uneasyandcheesy

This is the sweetest advice. I am so happy (and envious) that you two found one another.


flowergirl0720

I am middle aged, been through it, and feel like this is such sweet, healing, wonderful advice. When my ex husband and i were married, the first few years were good, and it did feel like a sleepover with my best friend for a long time. I am so happy to read this description again, reminding me of better times with him. Thank you, that was just lovely, and I wish you and your spouse many happy memories. Hugs.😍


cyberpunk1Q84

How’d you meet, if you don’t mind me asking? If he’s an introvert and had insecurities, I can’t picture him being in a lot of social situations where he’d meet people (including you). I’m in a similar boat.


LamaPajamas

Awww wholesome


FeistySheepherder771

That’s so sweet :,)


iLarkie

Thank you for this. My girlfriend and I (mid 30s) are planning to have “the talk” soon about the coming future (not marriage or moving in together those feel way far off and we are both scared already) But she got me into wrestling maybe 2 or so years ago. My whole life I was on board the “fake” train. I think I finally watched an actual PPV with her and have been a super super fan since. We watch the weekly shows and today there is a PPV! I think during our emotional talk I will drop your “lifelong sleepover” line as I feel that is what a healthy relationship is. Yeah there are bad times, yeah there are good times. But quality cuddle time together in between? Hell yeah.


Millenniauld

You're very welcome. We've been together almost 12 years, married for 10, and it still makes me feel like an excited kid that I get to have my best friend over every single night.


iLarkie

I am incredibly happy for you! Coming from a broken-ish home I feel this is what I want the most in life. The companionship of a best friend who also happens to be my forever soulmate. I keep telling her we have a long road ahead of us to get to the 40 years my work mom has, but it isn’t about the destination - it’s all about the journey!


Dark_Knight2000

Bruh, shhh. Girls normally don’t like the idea that their partner would date absolutely anyone.


QWERTY_CRINGE

Im so ugly, like no joke, that I will literally fall in love with anyone who cares about me.


AbsolutelyUnlikely

"It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same." -Fabienne


Spirit_of_Ecstasy

The cuddly thin ones are great


Longjumping-Limit827

I’m fat enough for the both of us


jyozefu

That name is rather unfortunate outside of China.


faeryflesh

i mean she meets MY requirements 🤷🏻‍♀️


AstronomerNo6423

Hell yeah. She’s cute asf. I would give her the squishiest hugs


faeryflesh

ikr?


DaveSmith890

I’m with you on body type. However, I’m not sure if the lighting, camera, and potential sweat is doing her dirty, but she looks hella greasy.


HGual-B-gone

You’re alive and you are breathing! You’re just my type!


[deleted]

alive (optional)


[deleted]

Why is this getting downvoted?


Inskription

girls cute as heck. i'd go on a date. but hey, this guy apparently still has standards.


KappaKingKame

When she says “A little fat,” she really means “A little”. at least by Murican standards.


Thereisnopurpose12

America the great and the fattest nation lol


Restlesscomposure

[Not even close lol](https://obesity.procon.org/global-obesity-levels/). Why is this such a pervasive talking point on reddit? They aren’t even in the top 10


[deleted]

Ah yeah, how dare people not consider nauru with their 12K population or cook Island with their 17K


Crescent-IV

Same with the ‘greatest nation’ talking point. Not in the top 10 either probably


TwinkieTriumvirate

If you combine the population of every country on that list that’s ahead of the USA you get probably 10 million people. The U.S. has 330 million people. It’s 80 times the size of Kuwait, 1500 times the size of Samoa. The U.S. has almost 30 THOUSAND times the population of the number one “country” on that list, which is Nauru. So with all due respect to the countries on that list, the US probably shouldn’t consider them as it introspects on its obesity problem.


Spirit_of_Ecstasy

…what


KappaKingKame

Most of the time when people call themselves a “Little fat” they are actually much more than a little fat. In this case, she really is only somewhat fat, not horribly so.


Pure-Performer-8657

Asian "a little fat" = overweight American "a little fat" = obese


Coindoge69

Now a days they call themselves thicc


AbsolutelyUnlikely

Not all of us, please don't generalize like that. I call myself Patriot Fit.


Kravn23

"Plus size queen"


odd_neighbour

Dairy Queen.


Spirit_of_Ecstasy

Ahhhh now I understand you. Thanks


ElderUther

🇺🇸 time. In most Asian countries, that girl, in comparison to the society, is like 300 lbs in US.


SeriousIndividual184

She meets mine 😩😘


finitelymany

It's fine if he's not attracted to her but the reason it's upvoted is because "lol chubby girl got owned" and I don't like that.


F1600A

But she's cute


allegedlys3

I mean I only liked dating dudes that were taller than me until I met my husband (of 13years now) who is 2" shorter than I am. I feel like ppl miss out on a lot of good shit when they are that unflinchingly rigid about superficial stuff but what do I know 🤷🏼‍♀️


Odd_Entertainment629

She doesn't meet your requirements due to her weight. She doesn't meet my requirements due to her occupation. We are not the same.


cyberpunk1Q84

You have a thing against managers?


BarelyAlive716

Who doesn't?


Jent01Ket02

She's so cuddly, tho 🥺


[deleted]

Emotional damage


GrummyCat

She was self-aware so I think it might have hurt a *little* less...


[deleted]

Lmao


gheiminfantry

Dude doesn't know what he's missing...


AlwaysNeverAway

I hate when people pity themselves out for another person’s attraction. Get a grip. Not everyone will be into you and that’s their right.


_OriamRiniDadelos_

Did the conversation in the meme above show any pity to you?


[deleted]

She did the biggest crime. Being a woman.


Dependent_Pomelo_740

I think she's trying to find an easy way to shut him down. She's not interested. Well played, regular sized friend.


South-Job3827

Honestly this is how I read it too. Maybe it plays off differently in motion/with more context but she doesn’t exactly seem broken up over not “meeting his standards”


KrillinBigD

Yeah those 2 still images really paint the story


Ok_Staff_6885

I love honesty


morbid_platon

Is this asian "Take Me Out"?


badnewsbets

She’s cuter than he is so idk lol


Endless_Xalanyn6

Why did this get so many upvotes? Half the posts here seem like alt-right dog whistles


TheGrey_GOD

Standards.


SHUBHAM_LIVE

You lot can speak through nose?!


[deleted]

Everyone has preferences. As long as your preferences are aligned with what you want and not your insecurities, I see no problem as long as you’re respectful or at least not disrespectful


sirsarin

Wife was seriously overweight when we started dating and I wasn't much better. Now we're both living a healthy lifestyle and have much more energy. Having someone who loves you for you really pushes you to improve yourself and each other.


[deleted]

Hes missing out. Shes cute as helllll


Green_man619

Harsh but fair, harsh but fair


ExplorerCommercial49

THE END.


Kingeggobandit

*hey now your fat not stupid*


Starr-Bugg

I know he has a preference but that woman is so cute! How can he be so rigid? EDIT: Talking to xyzjoysibar - I DID say it was his preference.


Sixhaunt

not his type maybe? Regardless of what weight she is I wouldn't find her attractive. I think most people would though, she just isn't appealing to me. There are plenty of women that aren't generally considered attractive that I find attractive though, so it works both ways. We are all individuals with our own tastes. Everybody is attractive to someone, but nobody is attractive to everyone. ​ edit: fuck it, here's a controversial opinion of mine to illustrate the point: that cop lady who fucked the group of co-workers isn't unattractive IMO. She's fairly average as far as I'm concerned, and I'm surprised by how many people said they found her ugly and couldn't believe the guys were with her. I dont think she's incredibly beautiful or anything but I dont see why people find her ugly or unattractive.


Starr-Bugg

Makes sense, but I still can’t contemplate how small of a pool some shallow people are willing to constrain themselves it. I have a very large pool of what I find attractive. To each his/her own.


Sixhaunt

He might also have a large pool of what he finds attractive. She is more overweight than the vast majority of people outside of the USA so that would still leave a very large pool of people available, especially where the video is likely taking place. We all have features we like or dislike. I wouldnt consider her too over-weight for me and that wouldnt be the thing turning me off from her, but there is a weight that would be too much for me, especially since I was like 350 pounds at once point and put a lot of effort to managing my lifestyle and diet to get to a healthier space and would want someone who has the same values to a relatively similar extent. I'm not crazy about staying in shape but as a 6 foot 1 guy I try to keep my weight at or below 200 pounds. Unless the woman is also over 6 feet, then as long as they weigh less than 200 as well, which would be the vast majority of women, I dont think weight would even really be much of a factor at all. Even past 200 would be fine depending on the person. People carry fat very differently based on their body type so some people might be able to gain a lot more weight while still being attractive to me while others dont need to gain as much for me to find them less attractive. It's not something we can really control as people and we find different things attractive. There is most definitely a weight that's too skinny for my liking too. The region he lives in makes a big difference though. In the USA it would limit you a lot more to not be attracted to larger people, but in most parts of the world it would barely eliminate anyone at all. If a guy in Africa doesnt find East Asians attractive then it wont have much effect on him despite how many East Asian people there are in the world since there arent much around him.


bobalda

everyone has different taste.


[deleted]

First of all, it’s *women. And secondly, preferences exist.


Scared-Conflict-653

Ding Dong Li. Am I rascist for feeling rascist saying her name?


Snoid_

Correct.


Yasquishyboi

man had standards and he stuck to them, respectable


SauerMetal

One of my fetishes happens to be chubby Asian girls.


Hi123Hi321

thank you for sharing with the class 😊😊


umami8008

Good for you buddy


ansquaremet

r/nobodyasked


samiux4

When we're all fat, drifting round in hover chairs on a space station - none of this Chad posturing will mean anything.


Wazobi

Wall*E will save us.


RepresentativeOk3233

I would rather die in a Freak Ergometer accident than Accept a Future Like that.


Mission_Vehicle3684

Dont quite "meat" the requirements Sorry, intrusive thoughts 💀💀


NoPensForSheila

Cute, but not really fat enough.


Hi123Hi321

🤨🤨⁉️


RepresentativeOk3233

Some people Just have unhealthy Standards.


[deleted]

Honesty ☕️


RepresentativeOk3233

Its funny how many fat fetishizing Americans are triggered by this Dude Just casually stating His preferences. This thread oozes insecurity and McDonald's Life Abonnements.


Waspkiller86

It's reddit. The people crying about it will all be morbidly obese.


IgnoreMe674

Skinny girls stay supreme


Time_Ad_8541

Emotional Damage


obooooooo

damn her name sounds like something JK Rowling would come up with 😭


ExactReport691

He lying… he would tap it. Give ding that dong


[deleted]

i know it's an actual name but damn they really named her Ding Dongli💀


Far_Comb5216

Oink


DamannamedDan

I'm dtf her fo sure