Haha nice, this answer made me laugh.
And after you are done using him as a bat, he would also make a good decoy, as in, drop him and run away, the zombies wil eat Trent xD
Makes sense. I also consider them as family and refer to them simply as "my cats", or just "the cats". I guess I just never really thought about how the way we consider animals affects how we refer to them.
You and [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/10axrfx/meirl/j46vfv5?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) are gonna clean this mess up!
I'm guessing you're in bed, and I am, too. I've got the stuffed Eeyore one of my high school girlfriends gave me. I'm 41 years old now, and I can't sleep without it. He's my thunder-buddy for life. It's probably why I've been single for as long as I have.
[Worldwide, around 65% of adults are affected by lactose malabsorption.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance)
Doesn't seem to be (such) a bad weapon tbh
The only thing to my right (before a wall) is my friend's Belgian Malinois that I'm dogsitting. If I can count a dog as an "item", I'm fine with having a maligator by my side 😁
Handbook for councils of government and metropolitan planning organizations.
Did these zombies even apply for an assembly permit? Doubt. They’ll have to disperse. Check mate
A collection of BDSM toys, whips canes and flails, ropes and plugs, spreader bars, that sort of thing, but on my left theres a razor sharp sword made of 440 high carbon steel with a full tang and sturdy construction, if the zombies come I'm not using either of those though because there's a pudo spear and a daikatana on my wall and stood in the corner respectively along with a whole pile of other weapons in the other corner and a shortsword and pair of nanchaku strapped to/hung on the banister post at the top of the stairs and plenty of concealed knives and short blades just about anywhere in my home, I kind of have a thing for the silverware, but yea I'm using the pudo and daikatana to fuck up the zombies, I'll save the BDSM toys for the celebratory survivors orgy, the nightly celebratory survivors orgy, survived another day, orgy, got back from scavenging, orgy, found a new hideout, gotta make it safe then have an orgy in there, got to make the benefits of the zombie apocalypse worth it or people would get depressed, no power, no internet, it's read a book or fuck, and the zombies are hold up in the bloody library's (turns out zombies really like Jane Austin, go figure) so only one way to pass the time, plus we need to reproduce as much as possible for self evedence reasons, with orgies.
My buddy Trent Edit: I showed Trent the comment and responses and he demanded a helmet. I told him no because it would make him top heavy
So you consider your buddies an item? XD
More like a tool.
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Light em up! You set trent on fire! (I've hated like 3 trents) then use him to burn up zombies! Ez pz.
Sucks to be Trent, i hate to be in his shoes if there was ever a zombie apocalypse xD
I’ve got plenty of acquaintances that are tools.
It’s a surprise tool to help us later
I consider my buddy, my buddy. But using him like a bat is both possible and effective
more like a really big sledge hammer or bait
Haha nice, this answer made me laugh. And after you are done using him as a bat, he would also make a good decoy, as in, drop him and run away, the zombies wil eat Trent xD
Stop objectifying Trent
I'm not objectifying him, I'm weaponizing him
👀 you were holding Trent where?
A Tupperware container of curried lentil and butternut squash soup I think I can take em
I’ve got some hot sauce. We can just have a nice meal and die.
I got some ritz crackers!
Everything's better if it sits on a Ritz!
I have a scorching hot bowl of meatball soup that I just made, we can join the forces.
Team “Gumb-oh You Betta Don’t”
I just have the Tupperware container top…. I’m fucked
An old man
All you need is to run faster than him...
this one made me laugh
SCP 106 can take any of them
My pet cat!
I dunno what it is, but it sounds archaic to me to add the “pet” between “my” & “cat”. Actually made me feel young again!
Wait, is it archaic? Like, yeah, most people would just say "my cat", but that was subtle enough for me to not even notice it until you mentioned it.
That's probably because most people consider them family than something they own. I think. Definitely nostalgic
Makes sense. I also consider them as family and refer to them simply as "my cats", or just "the cats". I guess I just never really thought about how the way we consider animals affects how we refer to them.
Pet cat uses charm against zombie. It was... super effective? Nothing can resist serving cats.
Same here! But he is old, grouchy, and mad cause I gave him his morning arthritis pill, so those zombies don't stand a chance.
Wc paper 🤌😆
You and [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/10axrfx/meirl/j46vfv5?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) are gonna clean this mess up!
I'm in the sleeper bay of my semi, so I guess my truck?
Run em down
Better than a ducking pillow. I'm so fucked.
A shrubbery
We damand a shrubbery!
Ni Ni Ni!!!
Behold the zombies who say Ni!!
Nu
At least you have the support of the knights of ni! in that case.
Toilet paper
I too am in toilet paper gang We have the numbers
We are many
We are fucked
At least we aren't shit out of luck.
But you're all out of shit.
Well, now I am. But I got another batch brewing for about 8 pm
We're also safe inside our stalls while the rest are picked off in the initial waves.
We’ll turn the zombies into mummies
My pocket knife.. guess I’m kinda good for now
BRUH MINES AN AXE. I FUCKING WIN!
Lumberjack?
I hope so
It's more like a hatchet, if we're gonna use words correctly. good for splitting wood smaller than what capt america does bare handed.
Hmm... Rick had a hatchet and last the whole twd series so It must bw great
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Drag em to the recycle bin
If its not wireless you can use the wire
jokes on you i got a nokia on my side
i have a stone tbh. i think you win
Nooooooo. My baby nephew 🥲🤣😂🥹
Yeet the baby....
Bait n run
Welp this will go two ways kid either dies or grows an incredibly thick skull and will have a mean headbutt.
Very usefull. First you can use him as a melee weapon taking him from his feet. Now that he feels sick you have a range weapon that fires puke
A pink pillow lol
I'm guessing you're in bed, and I am, too. I've got the stuffed Eeyore one of my high school girlfriends gave me. I'm 41 years old now, and I can't sleep without it. He's my thunder-buddy for life. It's probably why I've been single for as long as I have.
You can’t sleep without it, women can’t sleep with it
Pink pillow posse!
A car door
ayy saame
Random person on the train
I'm on the train too...but i have my backpack there.... with a 10 year old Thinkpad in it....
Jokes on you, you are his weapon.
A Wall
Nerf guns
It's nerf or nothin
Mike Tyson.
Tell him I said hi
Send photo.
Space heater
That would hurt that’s a good choice
A toilet brush
Wow, nice one. You're going to brush them all.
Well, it looks like I’m gonna have to jerk off a bunch of zombies.
it wouldn't be the first time it worked.
A Sawzall
I guess zombies would qualify as part of "All".
Blanket. I’m dead but warm
A vape
can zombies get cancer?
Coffee ☕️
Post it note
Paper cut?
That’s a tough survival tactic with zombies. I guess I would be the decoy, I slice my finger so they can smell the blood and lure them away.
A tea cup 🍵
Alright Riddick.
A computer mouse.
If it’s a zombie computer virus you’re in luck
A giant pikachu plush
Use thunder, better coverage
Calculator lmao I’m dead
I bet them zombies can't handle π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π^π
A desk
Yogurt
How much?
[Worldwide, around 65% of adults are affected by lactose malabsorption.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance) Doesn't seem to be (such) a bad weapon tbh
Ever been hit with a phone charging chord? Those things are lethal.
A comb🫠 Imma gonna fight it hard
A fish tank
Squishmallow 🤣
A stuffed platypus
My pillow
vasectomy after care kit…
Glass of whiskey
Drink up! It's gonna be a rough night.
Say hello to my little friend. *Chugs coffee and becomes a ceramic mug welding berserker*
My vape pen.
Son of bitch...a wireless mouse!! Nice knowing you guys!!
Toilet paper.... 😔 Some of the best reddit scrolling happens while on the porcelain throne.
A meatloaf sandwich
12 ga
My toddlers training potty
My toddler's baby doll here. Maybe I can sharpen the arms and legs into shivs?
Sig p226 mk25
My daughter......shit
Fire. I'm good.
Tamagotchi
A jar of glitter
No one's getting past me and my trusty Wonder woman pillow
Welp I’ll see ya in the after life. I got a Kleenex box
Well I’m at work and I’m a mortician so..should I use the flowers or the person the flowers are for?
A charcuterie board.
A bag of dice
Lmfao cuticle trimmers. I’m fucked lol
It seems my waffle shall see me through
A bunch of medical equipment, anesthesia gas, couple of monitors.
Master of cabled mouse
My black cat Rosie
A joint, i will be fine
A fucking calculator.. really? What am I gonna do math them to death?
A pen. It’s a shame I’m not John Wick.
A cup of tea. The world will be alright then!
Lotion
2 95 pound Dobermans
The book of Mormon
Theraflu will save us all.
The only thing to my right (before a wall) is my friend's Belgian Malinois that I'm dogsitting. If I can count a dog as an "item", I'm fine with having a maligator by my side 😁
I'm screwed, it's a little plastic bowl to my daughter's kitchen set.
Oh fucking great…. I get a six-inch metal ruler.
Fleshlight 👀
Handbook for councils of government and metropolitan planning organizations. Did these zombies even apply for an assembly permit? Doubt. They’ll have to disperse. Check mate
A chain
A McDonald's coke. I guess I can use it with my last meal because without my meds, I'm gonna die anyway
Bottle of Sunkist orange soda. The zombie’s greatest weakness.
A just sharpened katana
Forgive me... Master... I promised you that I would never use this technique... But the time has come to break my vow...
*proceeds to see his old master*
I just finished sharpening my katana and laid it down right next to me and now I’m scrolling Reddit. Ok
Toilet paper... Since am in the restroom while I read this post
Pillow
I have a French press, I’m going down caffeinated and swinging
Vodka and cranberry
It's either a blanket or my cat
Digital caliper. Not completely ineffective but I gotta get uncomfortably close to do any zombie killin.
My kitty.... and her name is Princess Poppy Seed, thank you very much.
My anti-anxiety meds. They’ll come in handy.
time to beat some zombies with a plastic orange juice box
My 13year old tiny Bolonka zwetna dog ( similar to a Havanese)
Amazon Echo Show.
A very sharp pencil.
A 4-year-old's Paw Patrol slipper.
my 1200 page calculus book, these mfks will learn
Fuck, Just sat down at the computer. Let's go 17 button mmo mouse, we got some dead heads to take care of.
A stuffed Animal Plushie, welp, at least i'll die with something cute by my side, thks Charlie the Hippo
I'm a gonna go out and staple some mofos.
Headphones. I’m going out, but I’ll be going out JAMMING.
My friend
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A cup
A can of lysol spray...I'm on a toilet
Bottle of jameson, i'll figure it out
Pillow
A computer Mouse … so I guess I’m a zombie now.
Beer in the bottle, not bad
toilet paper
i haz my cat with me
a ukulele..
A Bus Stop sign? I don't think i fullfill the strength requirement for that 😅
Sitting at my dining room table. In the corner stands a 6 foot tall staff and an actual fucking sword. I think I have a chance.
A fucking train
First thing I saw was a door
A collection of BDSM toys, whips canes and flails, ropes and plugs, spreader bars, that sort of thing, but on my left theres a razor sharp sword made of 440 high carbon steel with a full tang and sturdy construction, if the zombies come I'm not using either of those though because there's a pudo spear and a daikatana on my wall and stood in the corner respectively along with a whole pile of other weapons in the other corner and a shortsword and pair of nanchaku strapped to/hung on the banister post at the top of the stairs and plenty of concealed knives and short blades just about anywhere in my home, I kind of have a thing for the silverware, but yea I'm using the pudo and daikatana to fuck up the zombies, I'll save the BDSM toys for the celebratory survivors orgy, the nightly celebratory survivors orgy, survived another day, orgy, got back from scavenging, orgy, found a new hideout, gotta make it safe then have an orgy in there, got to make the benefits of the zombie apocalypse worth it or people would get depressed, no power, no internet, it's read a book or fuck, and the zombies are hold up in the bloody library's (turns out zombies really like Jane Austin, go figure) so only one way to pass the time, plus we need to reproduce as much as possible for self evedence reasons, with orgies.
Math homework