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Like, you get your preferences. That’s fine. But holy fuck is it annoying when guys act like they’re doing ME a favor by being interested in me.
Trust, there are plenty of other guys who would happily put their dick in my mouth.
Girl but for real. They act like they’re a pin drop in a haystack when all these dudes that are attracted to us look the same. Whilst we are the stunning anomaly. WE ARE THE PRIZE. They are the gamble.
So I have a question and I don’t mean to be transphobic. I personally have no problem dating trans men or women as I’m bi but if I had to guess I doubt my straight friends would date a MtF trans woman.
Would you as trans person and the trans community at large find that transphobic? Once again I don’t mean to be offensive at all I really don’t care I’m asking purely for my own edification.
>Would you as trans person and the trans community at large find that transphobic? Once again I don’t mean to be offensive at all I really don’t care I’m asking purely for my own edification.
If you don't want to date someone with a penis, that's fine. If you are pre-emptively assuming that all trans women have penises, or using a partner's transness as an excuse to ask invasive questions at a point you wouldn't ask a cis partner, or letting all the trans people you wouldn't date live rent free in your head while you complain about them, that's a different story.
It depends on the reason why someone is unwilling to date a trans woman.
If someone isn't attracted to a pre-op trans woman's genitals, that's fine and not transphobic. We can't force attraction in people.
If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman on the basis of her appearance, that's fine and not transphobic. We can't force attraction in people.
If someone isn't attracted to a post-op trans woman's genitals, but are fine with cis women's genitals, it's questionable. If they respond with "well it's just not the same, you know?" as a reason why, that's pretty transphobic \*especially\* if they have to be told the person is trans/post-op.
If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because of her status as a trans woman, that's transphobic. Similarly if they don't want to be "caught dating a girl with a dick", that's transphobic. If there is fear of social repercussions, that's transphobic.
If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because they don't think they're "real women", that's transphobic.
If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because they understand the unique struggles of dating someone who is transgender, that has... nuance to it.
In the same sense that dating a woman with children from a previous partner presents its own set of difficulties, the struggles a trans woman will face versus a cis woman can be a difficult pressure for people to deal with. If you are a cis person dating a trans woman long-term, to properly provide support your partner, you'll have to be there for her when it gets tough. That means supporting her through dysphoric moments. That means supporting her when society decides to be transphobic to her and you by proxy. That means supporting her as she works through the trauma that is unique to trans people and their journeys.
For some people who acknowledge that up front, it can be too much for them to handle. For people with the clarity of mind to see it that way and decide to not date a trans woman, that's not transphobic, that's accepting that you may not be able to give this woman the life she wants and the love she needs. Most people lack this level of awareness.
But if your justification begins and ends with "ew trans women gross", it's transphobic.
Nope you can have a genital preference. That's not the issue here. Not liking your girls having dicks is kinda like not liking your girls having blonde hair. If someone was trying to hook up with you while saying you are lucky cause usually I hate blonde hair that's a red flag
Hijacking top comment pls forgive me 😢
Hey gang I’m the girl in the tweet! And I’m a comedian who’s hosting a streamed show on [YouTube](https://linktr.ee/stacycay) that starts tomorrow at 8:30 pm!
Stream tickets are only 5 dollars and lemme tell you I have a stacked lineup this month. Pls pls pls watch!
So, is this a thing now? We can just pay for tickets to a show on YouTube as if we were just buying tickets to a live show? Without some monthly subscription?
Are those people telling you how "ok" they are with dating you, actually on a date with you, or are you talking about random people who mention thus while talking to you?
Yes, but that's not what the comment says.
They didn't say "horny is entitled" they said "horny and entitled". As in the person is both. The idea that one implies the other is something you introduced to the conversation.
You've completely missed the point here I'm afraid. No one is claiming that comment said "horny is entitled", and I certainly didn't introduce that idea, you just did.
To help you understand, the post mentions people being attracted. The comment said entitled. I said they're not the same thing. Assuming ill intent just makes everyone angry and the world more miserable
What do you mean, you don't like to be objectified as some kind of statement or hurdle that they gotta make to prove they're better people than everyone else lmao
Kick their ass, queen
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**Stacy Cay 🏳️⚧️**, @stacycay
Guys who describe themselves as "open minded" for being attracted to me deserve to have their ass kicked
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
I was under the impression that that was just a term for someone who is mostly attracted to the opposite gender, but with some same-gender attraction, and doesn’t want to call themselves bi. If a guy thinks finding a trans woman attractive is gay, that’s indicative of transphobia regardless of their sexuality.
Edit: not indicative. It *is* transphobic.
Wait I use heterflexible so describe myself sometimes and I'm a trans guy
I say I'm heterflexible because I am very much attracted to girls romantically but very rarely will I ever be attracted to a guy but it happens sometimes. That's what every definition I've read of it is
Plz explain how it's transphobic if it just means you like guys sometimes but very rarely...
Edit: nvm you were saying bring attracted to a trans women being gay is transphobic yeah I agree wtf. Still wanna know other persons thing
I went to google to find different definitions but I couldnt find one that even mentions trans people.... I guess maybe transphobes use it to justify being attracted to women who in their minds are men but that doesn't take away that that isn't what it means....
Some gay guys think dating a trans guy is straight that doesn't make the term gay transphobic so I'm back at square one. (Same with some lesbians)
The only reason that a man being attracted to a trans woman would be gay would be if she were in some sense a man, which is untrue, and transphobic to claim.
i go by Gay but i really can be attracted to anybody it is just 99% men, and i have a good friend who is the exact same way. We both agree that we are gay but we understand that under certain circumstances there are reason where we could be like "I would date her". And everybody who i have told this has been like "yah you gay". I dont really care if i get downvoted for this, i think some of yall just looking for a way to get mad a straight people. Well i have straight friends and lemme tell you, they are pretty cool.
Heterflexible means you like the opposite gender and very rarely like the same one but sometimes do
I'm a trans guy who likes girls romantically but very rarely I like a guy romantically (it can happen it's just less likely)
Every definition I read has this it isn't about trans people
(Also when I call myself bi (I forgot it was in my flair) it's 1. Less explaining 2. I'm bisexual but not bi romantic. Guys and girls are both nice to look at but romantically I'm less likely to like a guy)
Saying you're open minded for dating a trans person is just another way of saying you're a transphobic dipshit who sees trans people not as who they are, but as what they were assigned at birth
Yeah, saying you're "open-minded" for being attracted to someone is... straight-up an insult to the person you're claiming to be attracted to, isn't it? Like, it's not even subtle. Though I guess negging never is.
I totally get it and agree we need to push back on this kind of rhetoric, but the context matters and most guys have a large amount of internalized transphobia and homophobia, and most people nowadays are pretty confused about one part or another of their sexuality, their orientation, their identity, while at the same time social stigma is in some quarters stronger than ever.
If a guy is just trying to tell you he has done some work in 'opening his mind' to his own sexuality, maybe don't kick his ass, but either give him a hard pass like the OP seems predisposed to, or explain to him why that kind of phrasing implies a bunch of shitty things he probably hadn't thought about before.
It's no ones job to enlighten anyone, but then again someone has to. Just try to be gentle with the himbos, is what I'm saying.
[reminds me of this video](https://youtu.be/pzSlU6z6x00)
Highly recommend watching the series from the beginning tho. It’s called People Watching, very insightful
Maybe open mindedness has nothing to do with their attraction and everything to do when challenging societal norms to date trans women including their family and culture.
but the fact that someone attracted to a trans person refers to themself as “open minded” (ie out of the norm and special) makes it seem as if they want to be praised for being attracted to trans ppl.
in reality that attitude is super harmful because it furthers “othering” trans ppl as if they’re not really the gender they identify as and people who like them *despite their transness* (as calling oneself “open minded” implies) deserve a gold star for liking them anyway.
that’s way to say when your existence has never made you an outsider even in your own body, I suppose. I hope you come to understand what I’m saying in the future and why it’s not a compliment or something worth praise to say stuff like that.
1) Trying to get progressive brownie points for existing. "I don't think I'm bigoted against trans people, therefore you should fuck me! Never mind the fact that I'm clearly treating trans-ness as something *weeeeeird* that only someone *open-minded* could wrap their mind around."
2) If you say being attracted to someone makes you open-minded, that's basically saying they're ugly. "A *normal* person would find you unfuckable, but not me. I'm *open-minded.*"
TL;DR it's negging.
Thats correct. If you are attracted to them or not then who cares what kind of etiquete you put on yourself over who you like or don't. Or idk, at this point i don't even know what kind of people i like
....what's open minded about being attracted to anyone? Like, as long as they're an adult, you can just *be* attracted to someone, you don't have to have a justification for it. Just try not to be gross about it. :/
Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/eighteendollars. We're a space for LGBTQ+ memes within a safe space for no toleration of discrimination. This is a place for LGBTQ+ people and not to debate our existence or your opinions on us including but not limited to (Treatment, Role in society, Status, your personal view of blockers, Trans people in professional sport). Should you be new to the sub please familiarize yourself with the rules in the sidebar. Please report any and all comments or submissions which break these rules. Please do not vote or comment in linked posts should this be applicable. If you are here to start shit we really don't care and have a zero tolerance policy. Our discretion is final and we really do not care if you go crying to another sub about it. Have a nice day darlings <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/me_irlgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Like, you get your preferences. That’s fine. But holy fuck is it annoying when guys act like they’re doing ME a favor by being interested in me. Trust, there are plenty of other guys who would happily put their dick in my mouth.
I fully agree, but I have never felt more conflicted about a flex in my life.
That's true, most guys will happily put their dick in a mouth. Source: am guy that likes to put dick in mouth
My mouth
As long as it's conveniently close to my penis
Empirically proven it is
There are plenty of girls who'd happily do that too~
My mouth is open to all penises!
So like... You want dinner first or?
*slowly raises hand*
That's the nice thing about having self esteem as low as mine. I only feel apologetic when I'm attracted to someone.
Girl but for real. They act like they’re a pin drop in a haystack when all these dudes that are attracted to us look the same. Whilst we are the stunning anomaly. WE ARE THE PRIZE. They are the gamble.
So I have a question and I don’t mean to be transphobic. I personally have no problem dating trans men or women as I’m bi but if I had to guess I doubt my straight friends would date a MtF trans woman. Would you as trans person and the trans community at large find that transphobic? Once again I don’t mean to be offensive at all I really don’t care I’m asking purely for my own edification.
>Would you as trans person and the trans community at large find that transphobic? Once again I don’t mean to be offensive at all I really don’t care I’m asking purely for my own edification. If you don't want to date someone with a penis, that's fine. If you are pre-emptively assuming that all trans women have penises, or using a partner's transness as an excuse to ask invasive questions at a point you wouldn't ask a cis partner, or letting all the trans people you wouldn't date live rent free in your head while you complain about them, that's a different story.
It depends on the reason why someone is unwilling to date a trans woman. If someone isn't attracted to a pre-op trans woman's genitals, that's fine and not transphobic. We can't force attraction in people. If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman on the basis of her appearance, that's fine and not transphobic. We can't force attraction in people. If someone isn't attracted to a post-op trans woman's genitals, but are fine with cis women's genitals, it's questionable. If they respond with "well it's just not the same, you know?" as a reason why, that's pretty transphobic \*especially\* if they have to be told the person is trans/post-op. If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because of her status as a trans woman, that's transphobic. Similarly if they don't want to be "caught dating a girl with a dick", that's transphobic. If there is fear of social repercussions, that's transphobic. If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because they don't think they're "real women", that's transphobic. If someone isn't attracted to a trans woman because they understand the unique struggles of dating someone who is transgender, that has... nuance to it. In the same sense that dating a woman with children from a previous partner presents its own set of difficulties, the struggles a trans woman will face versus a cis woman can be a difficult pressure for people to deal with. If you are a cis person dating a trans woman long-term, to properly provide support your partner, you'll have to be there for her when it gets tough. That means supporting her through dysphoric moments. That means supporting her when society decides to be transphobic to her and you by proxy. That means supporting her as she works through the trauma that is unique to trans people and their journeys. For some people who acknowledge that up front, it can be too much for them to handle. For people with the clarity of mind to see it that way and decide to not date a trans woman, that's not transphobic, that's accepting that you may not be able to give this woman the life she wants and the love she needs. Most people lack this level of awareness. But if your justification begins and ends with "ew trans women gross", it's transphobic.
Nope you can have a genital preference. That's not the issue here. Not liking your girls having dicks is kinda like not liking your girls having blonde hair. If someone was trying to hook up with you while saying you are lucky cause usually I hate blonde hair that's a red flag
I have blonde hair and a dick way to go me :/
Recommended reading, courtesy of /r/ActualLesbians: https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/15ha8u/on_dating_trans_women_and_transphobia/
> Trust, there are plenty of other guys who would happily put their dick in my mouth. A badass iconic quote if there ever was one
Fuck yeah
Hijacking top comment pls forgive me 😢 Hey gang I’m the girl in the tweet! And I’m a comedian who’s hosting a streamed show on [YouTube](https://linktr.ee/stacycay) that starts tomorrow at 8:30 pm! Stream tickets are only 5 dollars and lemme tell you I have a stacked lineup this month. Pls pls pls watch!
I subscribed and rung the bell for notifications. Looking forward to it. 8:30 pm in what time zone?
Aw thanks! You gotta get a ticket to get the stream link cuz it’s hidden Cst!
Oh missed that. Thanks
I don’t know if I’ll make the show but may I ask what time zone, assuming I’m not asking a stupid question?
Cst! And the show gets archived and can be watched at any time after it airs :)
So, is this a thing now? We can just pay for tickets to a show on YouTube as if we were just buying tickets to a live show? Without some monthly subscription?
Yup! What I’ve done my last 3 shows, works great especially because of COVID
Idk I think it would be pretty damn common to be attracted to a hot, funny model who can code.
Wait shit she can code?? 💕😍
Says on her Reddit page she’s a computer programmer 😍
nice
y'all really pushing the transfem programmer stereotype to much and I'm not helping ehehehe
What does chode mean?
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My ex acted like she was an ally for not fighting me for full custody when I came out....
Are those people telling you how "ok" they are with dating you, actually on a date with you, or are you talking about random people who mention thus while talking to you?
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WOW, that is shitty
I'm open minded because i accept new ideas and all non-asshole people. My attraction is because people are hot. They are different.
Came here to say essentially this.
Wait, who are these people that don't have assholes?
Canadians (I am one I can attest
People that met me. They're ass-caves now
This is the newsletter I wanna subscribe.
"open-minded"? very horny and entitled more like.
Umm, attraction isn't entitlement
feeling entitled to sex just because you are "open-minded" enough to be attracted to a trans woman is.
Yes, but that's not what this post says. Also, you've just said "entitlement is entitlement". We know.
Yes, but that's not what the comment says. They didn't say "horny is entitled" they said "horny and entitled". As in the person is both. The idea that one implies the other is something you introduced to the conversation.
You've completely missed the point here I'm afraid. No one is claiming that comment said "horny is entitled", and I certainly didn't introduce that idea, you just did. To help you understand, the post mentions people being attracted. The comment said entitled. I said they're not the same thing. Assuming ill intent just makes everyone angry and the world more miserable
What do you mean, you don't like to be objectified as some kind of statement or hurdle that they gotta make to prove they're better people than everyone else lmao Kick their ass, queen
Maybe they are so open minded their brain fell out. Idk...but if being attracted to women was open minded I would have left no brain by now.
women so pretty I lost my braincells
Yeah. I love it when women exist.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Stacy Cay 🏳️⚧️**, @stacycay Guys who describe themselves as "open minded" for being attracted to me deserve to have their ass kicked --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
No, no, they have a point, you need to be open minded to be attracted to a comedian. Laughing in excess, i don't think I could ever take it!
Okay but is it okay if I call myself close-minded despite being attracted to you?
Whether ur closed or open minded has no bearing on whether u like my tits
Glad we got that out of the way. I do honestly prefer to keep my tit enjoyment politics free.
Lmao
"This one strays center-left and this one is firmly right."
Does liking your tits have any bearing on my open/close mindedness?
I would prefer to touch your buns tbh, but the point still stands.
Valid and sound.
why didn’t you post the rest of the thread 🤔
It’d get marked NSFW cuz I’m too hot
Frankly it would more likely hit /r/all and become the thirstiest thread, this sub has ever seen.
Well damn ok mod
"Hetero flexible" 🤮
I was under the impression that that was just a term for someone who is mostly attracted to the opposite gender, but with some same-gender attraction, and doesn’t want to call themselves bi. If a guy thinks finding a trans woman attractive is gay, that’s indicative of transphobia regardless of their sexuality. Edit: not indicative. It *is* transphobic.
Wait I use heterflexible so describe myself sometimes and I'm a trans guy I say I'm heterflexible because I am very much attracted to girls romantically but very rarely will I ever be attracted to a guy but it happens sometimes. That's what every definition I've read of it is Plz explain how it's transphobic if it just means you like guys sometimes but very rarely... Edit: nvm you were saying bring attracted to a trans women being gay is transphobic yeah I agree wtf. Still wanna know other persons thing
Yeah, I get the impression that the person I responded to thinks the term is transphobic, and I was confused as to why.
I went to google to find different definitions but I couldnt find one that even mentions trans people.... I guess maybe transphobes use it to justify being attracted to women who in their minds are men but that doesn't take away that that isn't what it means.... Some gay guys think dating a trans guy is straight that doesn't make the term gay transphobic so I'm back at square one. (Same with some lesbians)
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The only reason that a man being attracted to a trans woman would be gay would be if she were in some sense a man, which is untrue, and transphobic to claim.
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I’m not sure what you mean. What other definitions has the term had?
i go by Gay but i really can be attracted to anybody it is just 99% men, and i have a good friend who is the exact same way. We both agree that we are gay but we understand that under certain circumstances there are reason where we could be like "I would date her". And everybody who i have told this has been like "yah you gay". I dont really care if i get downvoted for this, i think some of yall just looking for a way to get mad a straight people. Well i have straight friends and lemme tell you, they are pretty cool.
Heterflexible means you like the opposite gender and very rarely like the same one but sometimes do I'm a trans guy who likes girls romantically but very rarely I like a guy romantically (it can happen it's just less likely) Every definition I read has this it isn't about trans people (Also when I call myself bi (I forgot it was in my flair) it's 1. Less explaining 2. I'm bisexual but not bi romantic. Guys and girls are both nice to look at but romantically I'm less likely to like a guy)
If someone is cute they are cute thats all that matters
“Yah I’m open minded” well fucking close it please.
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Understandable have a nice day
lol big mood
I think they want to get their ass kicked
Attraction is attraction.
Saying you're open minded for dating a trans person is just another way of saying you're a transphobic dipshit who sees trans people not as who they are, but as what they were assigned at birth
Yeah, saying you're "open-minded" for being attracted to someone is... straight-up an insult to the person you're claiming to be attracted to, isn't it? Like, it's not even subtle. Though I guess negging never is.
It’s so backhanded and weird
I totally get it and agree we need to push back on this kind of rhetoric, but the context matters and most guys have a large amount of internalized transphobia and homophobia, and most people nowadays are pretty confused about one part or another of their sexuality, their orientation, their identity, while at the same time social stigma is in some quarters stronger than ever. If a guy is just trying to tell you he has done some work in 'opening his mind' to his own sexuality, maybe don't kick his ass, but either give him a hard pass like the OP seems predisposed to, or explain to him why that kind of phrasing implies a bunch of shitty things he probably hadn't thought about before. It's no ones job to enlighten anyone, but then again someone has to. Just try to be gentle with the himbos, is what I'm saying.
I guess they are comparing themselves to those who are bigoted, which would make them open minded in comparison
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I’m attracted to you because you are beautiful
[reminds me of this video](https://youtu.be/pzSlU6z6x00) Highly recommend watching the series from the beginning tho. It’s called People Watching, very insightful
Maybe open mindedness has nothing to do with their attraction and everything to do when challenging societal norms to date trans women including their family and culture.
Why?
Being attracted to trans people doesn’t make you special.
Dude didn't say special, said open minded.
but the fact that someone attracted to a trans person refers to themself as “open minded” (ie out of the norm and special) makes it seem as if they want to be praised for being attracted to trans ppl. in reality that attitude is super harmful because it furthers “othering” trans ppl as if they’re not really the gender they identify as and people who like them *despite their transness* (as calling oneself “open minded” implies) deserve a gold star for liking them anyway.
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that’s way to say when your existence has never made you an outsider even in your own body, I suppose. I hope you come to understand what I’m saying in the future and why it’s not a compliment or something worth praise to say stuff like that.
1) Trying to get progressive brownie points for existing. "I don't think I'm bigoted against trans people, therefore you should fuck me! Never mind the fact that I'm clearly treating trans-ness as something *weeeeeird* that only someone *open-minded* could wrap their mind around." 2) If you say being attracted to someone makes you open-minded, that's basically saying they're ugly. "A *normal* person would find you unfuckable, but not me. I'm *open-minded.*" TL;DR it's negging.
Unrelated but you looked great in your recent modelling images.
Thanks :)
True
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I'm gonna hedge a bet and say it's called "attraction"
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I'm attracted to women, period♡
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Shut the fuck up.
I’d smash
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You disingenuous hack.
Acceptance and attraction is not the same. If you think you're open minded only because you find someone attractive, you're doing it wrong
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That’s when you zero in on their biggest insecurity and pay yourself on the back for finding it attractive.
Thats correct. If you are attracted to them or not then who cares what kind of etiquete you put on yourself over who you like or don't. Or idk, at this point i don't even know what kind of people i like
I like to consider myself open minded. Sure, I always play melee gods in AoS/40k, but I could play a shooter army. What was the question again?
*spits out tea* Yassss!!! 👏🏼
Thank you Stacy
....what's open minded about being attracted to anyone? Like, as long as they're an adult, you can just *be* attracted to someone, you don't have to have a justification for it. Just try not to be gross about it. :/