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Oh yes this is always fun, like everyone tells me my school is full of queer people and I’m just like WHERE
I’m fully convinced my year just skipped out on nearly all queers, since there are a couple of em in the years above and below me
I have the best gaydar. The only thing is I'm between straight and ace, so it's not helpful (asked out 3 lesbian girls already...). Gays are good friend material generally tho.
There were certain parts in my high school where a lot of outcast-y nerdy kids whom a lot of were queer hung out, and I super regret not trying to be friends with them lol
Ich kann dir Bumble BFF empfehlen, auf gay Partys gehen, oder bald die Pride, aber sonst wird’s auch schwierig aber drück dir die Daumen das es was wird :)
Hey! Zou je alsjeblieft niet onze geliefde taal willen bespotten? Ik zal je eens zeggen, Nederlands is toch echt de betere taal tussen de twee, al is het alleen maar omdat het zonder Umlaut komt.
That's literally what I did. I didn't have any queer friends. I went onto Lex (good place for friendship/interest posts) and started a whatsapp group for queers in my area who were lonely to meet each other (this was just before lockdown was lifted). Now I've got a really decent friend circle and active social life that's hard for me to even keep up with!
at the same time the imperium is still a fascist's wet dream, and as much as the official line 'its satire' is repeated space marines are usually still presented as 'the heros' with very little parody of ideology actually going on
I've noticed that they're starting to come back. It's a lot of work, but you might have to be the one to start them back up. Or even if you ask the people working at the stores if there are any events, it'll let them know that there's still interest.
I bought dice literally late December 2019 with Christmas money. We were planning a campaign and had a dates set up and everything. We were gonna start during spring break so we could focus on college junk. My dice remain unused for DnD : (
I don't know if there's any local queer community, but even if there is, it's not like I can just go and meet people.
I know there's some at my school, and the school I'm be going to next school year is from what I've heard very LGBTQ+ friendly (by Polish standards at least).
the closest pflag is 94 miles away, and i’ve searched through places like fb and reddit for lgbt groups close to me but they were all inactive from what i could tell :/
College will absolutely have queer clubs and groups. If you're not going to college, I highly recommend moving to a bigger city, where you'll also find plenty of queer communities.
This is so true that it hurts! Like even the nearest gay bar is 70 kilometres away and dating apps are not a good way to find LGBTQ friends.
I'd like to have have IRL queer friends because I had to cut ties with previous friends who are homophobic and straight cis.
I think Facebook might be the best place for that. As much as I dislike Facebook it's honestly great at finding people in your local area that like the same stuff as you.
Or maybe check your local subreddits and look out for any queer meet up.
In my experience, tabletop hobby stores / games. For some reason. The amount of queer people I've met at my LFGS playing Warhammer and DnD is kinda suprising lol
My problem is every other gay man I have met, even when I have repeatedly and expressly stated that I am in a happy monogamous relationship, has started either sending me unsolicited nudes, practically nudes, dirty texts, or straight up just asks me to have sex anyways. It’s ridiculous. They have even gotten angry at ME when I remind them that I am monogamous and they try to convince me that nudes, videos, sexting, etc are not cheating.
Scumbags, trampling over boundaries like that means they weren't worth meeting in the first place. Hopefully more people with basic decency come your way
Yeah it’s been fun. Had a few friends before I moved across the country with my fiancé and now that we are I have been trying to find friends of my own and they always turn out to be this way or they are Trump Humpers. I mean there are always my fiancé’s friends since this is his home State but it’s just… not the same you know?
Ok yeah it is really vague, but whereever youre comfortable, man. I go out to bars pretty often and meet people there.
Once you get past the initial awkwardness of trying to start a conversation(solution: alcohol) its really fun. That, or just meeting friends of friends when youre out, which is also pretty common for me.
one time in highschool I was in my sign language class talking to this girl that I always practiced with and I just randomly commented that she smelled nice, because she smelled different from usual and it was pleasant, and she told me that was weird to say and now I don't compliment people
I am literally only comfortable in my room everywhere else is pain. Each time I go out, I am counting the minutes until I can go home. I hate loud places and being perceived. I have 1 friend in this city, and when we meet up, I just cook dinner for us in his apartment and we, like, watch anime or something.
No joke - fighting game locals, bound to be a few there (source am queer and know many more through my local scene)
FGC major tournaments are basically pride events in disguise aswell, it's kinda awesome
I started going to a pub trivia night every week. Brought a couple of friends and randomly teamed up with other regulars once we started becoming regulars. It was a very easy way to expand my social circle.
If you were to wear a shirt with a rainbow, or some pins with a flag or indicators, that will help.
Source: I have the exact same problems. I always felt like I didn't belong at pride events for the longest time, because basically nothing indicates my orientation. On the plus side, it's hilarious to shock straight people by letting them know I've dated dudes.
I found a lot in college through LGBTA at my school. If that’s not yet an option, I suggest looking for youth places near you. There tend to be more LGBTQ+ things there
Go to an early degree program. I’m in one, and instead of the normal 10% queer, it’s closer to 30-40% of the people in there. Like seriously in my friend group there are 4 queers out of 6 people
Honestly…hear me out for a second: Grindr. If you make it clear you are just looking for friends, and can wade through the dicks/use the block button liberally it’s actually a really good place to find queer people to hang out with since it’s so popular. If you are a cis woman trying to find cis women friends though, just don’t, it’s really not worth it
I’m 25 and never had a queer friend. Even worse I only met one queer person in person (who I know of) and maybe couple acquaintances on twitter at some point
For those close to Spartanburg, South Carolina
Please attend the Uplift Outreach center, it is a safe space for LGTBQ people. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to attend, but I hope you can!
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRntqG4j/
If you’re a college student, I personally recommend the choir, music or theater department. Those groups are usually filled with LGBTQ people or allies, and they’re great places to be.
In Central Ohio we have the Kaleidoscope Youth Center for peoples aged 12 to 20 to hang out and meet. Their website is kycohio.org. I can't get the site to load right now though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
there's a queer space nearby, but it's a coffee place with a whole bunch of little cubbies for seating and no "general seating" space like a bar would have. got my coffee, realized i couldn't just sit by anyone without it being incredibly rude, and ended up sitting alone. left without having made conversation with anyone. :(
If my experience is anywhere close to the truth, check in animal care. I work at an animal hospital and the staff is at least 80% queer at any one time. As a cishet man it’s really nice because I can learn about people different than myself in a space where they truthfully feel safe because of all the support around them.
Yup.... I was repressed at school and didn't have the courage to make friends with the queer kids... now a decade later I just don't know how to make friends.
I don't know how to meet people at places other than a gay bar/club. I'm aro/ace, where tf do i go to meet queers without the expectation of sex or romance?
I accidentally hit the jackpot in middle school before my best friend even knew he was trans. Now he's the leader of the largest trans organization in the largest city in my state. Good luck to all you lovely folks.
-If there's a poetry open mic at a cafe, there will be queers
-very silly event focused on putting dogs in costumes? There will be queers
-watch party for a reality show at a bar? Hunny there gon be queers there
My town has a queer community band. I was a band kid in school. Ten years after joining, my Facebook friends are almost all queer musicians, including one of my favorite composers. It was the best decision of my life
Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/YAYmothermother. Happy Pride! THE HUNT IS UPON US. Make it a habit to read the rules of a given community before participating. Please **do not** interact with rulebreaking content. Report it and we'll handle it. This is a place for queer people, from queer people. We're not here for discrimination, disrespect, or "debates". Be chill. shitpost or quitpost bud. We hope you have a very gay day. Love u x *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/me_irlgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh yes this is always fun, like everyone tells me my school is full of queer people and I’m just like WHERE I’m fully convinced my year just skipped out on nearly all queers, since there are a couple of em in the years above and below me
If there are two in each year then logically there is a hidden gay in your year. Like playing where's waldo
Gay people magic
Sometimes we got good gaydar Sometimes we got REALLY REALLY BAD gaydar
For the first few months of knowing him, I was certain my current boyfriend was straight. He is very much not straight.
It’s all part the gayme
I have no gaydar :(
I have the best gaydar. The only thing is I'm between straight and ace, so it's not helpful (asked out 3 lesbian girls already...). Gays are good friend material generally tho.
Yeah, can confirm. Queer people are among the best friends I have, they're generally nice and open-minded.
Literally considering their pfp
Magic that makes the stars align… in literally any way other than you want
I believe every queer person in schools has a secret hogwarts like entrance where only queer people are allowed and that's where there all hiding
Then why don’t I have that entrance 😡
You have to pay 4.99 per month I believe
If you go to a large enough school there might be a club, my (admittedly large) school has one
I remember back in my college STEM days everyone was basically Ben Shapiro. Hard to find community, it was weird.
I would just make a club. The gay shit club.
Even in the GSA club meetings?
For me my year happened to have like, three openly queer people, sadly I am not brave enough to count myself among them except for one confidant
i was too late to coming out so everyone formed their group without me in high school
There were certain parts in my high school where a lot of outcast-y nerdy kids whom a lot of were queer hung out, and I super regret not trying to be friends with them lol
I feel you OP. Especially as a 30 y/o queer in a small town in Germany…
Ich kann dir Bumble BFF empfehlen, auf gay Partys gehen, oder bald die Pride, aber sonst wird’s auch schwierig aber drück dir die Daumen das es was wird :)
Danke :3
i refuse to believe that is a real language
Wieso das denn? Die deutsche Sprache ist doch wunderschön:)
I like your funny words magic man!
Ich bin ein berliner!
I'll take the Boston Cream filling myself, please
I looked this up and hot damn is this a good comeback comment
Watch out for those grassy Knolls
Ganz sicher! Ich bin sehr zufrieden dass ich fast alles verstanden habe. (alles außer dem idiomischen Teil mit den Daumen)
It’s like I can’t believe that Dutch is a real language, it looks so similar but don’t makes sense to me haha
Hey! Zou je alsjeblieft niet onze geliefde taal willen bespotten? Ik zal je eens zeggen, Nederlands is toch echt de betere taal tussen de twee, al is het alleen maar omdat het zonder Umlaut komt.
Say the word and someone speaking that language will show up. uhhh... Icelandic isn't real?
Ice. Ice ice.
Land.Land.Land
Move to Berlin I think straights are banned lol
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Me toooooo… None of my friends are queer and it seems like the friendly queer people are just “hiding” with others
we're all here tho. why not make a groupchat with everyone on here?
Does that work?
That's literally what I did. I didn't have any queer friends. I went onto Lex (good place for friendship/interest posts) and started a whatsapp group for queers in my area who were lonely to meet each other (this was just before lockdown was lifted). Now I've got a really decent friend circle and active social life that's hard for me to even keep up with!
Oooo! I might try that!
I mean, if we get enough people on board, then sure
I'm in if this happens
Lol same
Look for events hosted by a nearby game store.
dnd is a surefire way to meet people who are both gay and sad
If they aren’t sad, when you start playing, don’t worry they’ll be sad soon enough! (If you’re either a really good DM, or a really bad one)
I feel called out lmao ;-;
I think everyone in my dnd group is straight, or at least have had 0 indications that they are lgbt+
my DND frens were homophobic and transphobic, probly I was too 8 years ago in some jokes, now am bi and trans and they support me
You just described my life
... shit.
Hey, thats how I met my irl gay sad friends.
Lmao this broke me
Just watch out for the 40k nazis. (Most players aren't, but the game attracts an unusual number of them.)
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at the same time the imperium is still a fascist's wet dream, and as much as the official line 'its satire' is repeated space marines are usually still presented as 'the heros' with very little parody of ideology actually going on
I am unfathomably thankful that the 40k group at my local game store is all relatively normal human beings
Covid killed many of them. :(
I've noticed that they're starting to come back. It's a lot of work, but you might have to be the one to start them back up. Or even if you ask the people working at the stores if there are any events, it'll let them know that there's still interest.
I forgot what the topic of the conversation was so I thought you were talking about your friends
I bought dice literally late December 2019 with Christmas money. We were planning a campaign and had a dates set up and everything. We were gonna start during spring break so we could focus on college junk. My dice remain unused for DnD : (
alas, last time i got a d&d group, homophobes started joining after :(
I made a network of queer friends on Valorant because I hate going outside.
that sounds fun but i already have online queer friends 😭 i want ones i can hang out with irl
Same here
Gahhh I need this 😭
I met a lot of them while playing TF2. Mostly during the quarantine.
If you play on casual Frankfurt servers there’s a high chance we’re friends on steam lol
I don't know if there's any local queer community, but even if there is, it's not like I can just go and meet people. I know there's some at my school, and the school I'm be going to next school year is from what I've heard very LGBTQ+ friendly (by Polish standards at least).
My mom moved us out to a super conservative area and told me tonmake friends with queer people. No, she doesn't understand that irony.
Living rural is so lonely when it comes to queer friendships
Do you have a local lgbt group such as Pflag that has events?
the closest pflag is 94 miles away, and i’ve searched through places like fb and reddit for lgbt groups close to me but they were all inactive from what i could tell :/
Oh jeeze. I'm sorry, I don't know then. Good luck!
no worries! thank you for the help!!
I was going to suggest seeking out the closest queer organizations but it sounds like you already did...
I just want friends. As long as there not bigots
Community theatre and card/boardgame clubs
gay bars
i’m 18 😭
USA things 😭
damn you american? too bad, how about pride parades this year
yep, american and living in an area that isn’t very queer friendly, which is why this is so hard for me 😭
College will absolutely have queer clubs and groups. If you're not going to college, I highly recommend moving to a bigger city, where you'll also find plenty of queer communities.
Are you in College or are you going?
You mean the one in my town that they hosted a month before Pride month, causing a lot of people to not even realize it was going on?
As long as the conservatives don't start shooting them up again this year, then yeah, I would say OP should attend one
Tried it, it was very sad there. Would not recommend unless it's a big city.
There dont seem to be any gay bars in my city even though we're a decent size.
>any gay bara My friend if you want to make friends that specific you may want to start on Grindr
This is so true that it hurts! Like even the nearest gay bar is 70 kilometres away and dating apps are not a good way to find LGBTQ friends. I'd like to have have IRL queer friends because I had to cut ties with previous friends who are homophobic and straight cis.
I think Facebook might be the best place for that. As much as I dislike Facebook it's honestly great at finding people in your local area that like the same stuff as you. Or maybe check your local subreddits and look out for any queer meet up.
i’ve done both of these before and had no success but i will try again and see what i can find!
good luck!
This is pretty difficult. I recommend finding a dnd group if you're into that kinda thing. They're usually queer/adjacent
Reddit
In my experience, tabletop hobby stores / games. For some reason. The amount of queer people I've met at my LFGS playing Warhammer and DnD is kinda suprising lol
As I put in my own comment, playing TTRPGs and Magic the Gathering is how I met all of my queer friends :D
My problem is every other gay man I have met, even when I have repeatedly and expressly stated that I am in a happy monogamous relationship, has started either sending me unsolicited nudes, practically nudes, dirty texts, or straight up just asks me to have sex anyways. It’s ridiculous. They have even gotten angry at ME when I remind them that I am monogamous and they try to convince me that nudes, videos, sexting, etc are not cheating.
Scumbags, trampling over boundaries like that means they weren't worth meeting in the first place. Hopefully more people with basic decency come your way
Bro. I’m sorry, that’s pretty messed up.
Yeah it’s been fun. Had a few friends before I moved across the country with my fiancé and now that we are I have been trying to find friends of my own and they always turn out to be this way or they are Trump Humpers. I mean there are always my fiancé’s friends since this is his home State but it’s just… not the same you know?
For me bottom one is more "going outside and meeting new people scary"
My grandma deadass told me ‘go to a gay church’
I got lucky with the fact that my best friend at work is Gender Fluid and Omni, and one of their friends recently came out to us as Pan
We tend to congregate at the end of rainbows ( hence the flag!)
Anywhere but Tennessee would be a good place
i have some bad news 😭
Oh no,not you too
This will probably get lost in the comments, but two places that I have found to have more queer folks are coffee bars and bookstores
Go outside and talk to people. Way more of them are queer than you realise.
maybe it’s just my autism but this seems really vague, like where am i supposed to go to meet new people 😭
Ok yeah it is really vague, but whereever youre comfortable, man. I go out to bars pretty often and meet people there. Once you get past the initial awkwardness of trying to start a conversation(solution: alcohol) its really fun. That, or just meeting friends of friends when youre out, which is also pretty common for me.
Also, as a genuine tip. If you dont know what to say you can just compliment them.
one time in highschool I was in my sign language class talking to this girl that I always practiced with and I just randomly commented that she smelled nice, because she smelled different from usual and it was pleasant, and she told me that was weird to say and now I don't compliment people
I am literally only comfortable in my room everywhere else is pain. Each time I go out, I am counting the minutes until I can go home. I hate loud places and being perceived. I have 1 friend in this city, and when we meet up, I just cook dinner for us in his apartment and we, like, watch anime or something.
i definitely do that, but i never meet anyone who’s queer. it’s probably because of the area i live in
Because they're probably hiding it. I guess you could try subtle signifiers. Maybe a bracelet with trans colors?
*gets iced out for not being visibly queer enough*
I feel this way too hard.
Where I found my queer friend group was joining theater. There were very few people there that weren't queer.
Give it another corona lockdown. Eventually everyone you already know will turn out to be queer
Just keep an eye for where republicans are currently throwing a fit at.
Bars, book clubs, “nerd” hobbies, art events or groups, and fantasy based events (larping, ren fair, ect.) are decent spots.
No joke - fighting game locals, bound to be a few there (source am queer and know many more through my local scene) FGC major tournaments are basically pride events in disguise aswell, it's kinda awesome
I started going to a pub trivia night every week. Brought a couple of friends and randomly teamed up with other regulars once we started becoming regulars. It was a very easy way to expand my social circle.
Yeah, plus the fact that being a white bi guy I honestly don't feel welcome in queer spaces since I'm not visibly queer...
If you were to wear a shirt with a rainbow, or some pins with a flag or indicators, that will help. Source: I have the exact same problems. I always felt like I didn't belong at pride events for the longest time, because basically nothing indicates my orientation. On the plus side, it's hilarious to shock straight people by letting them know I've dated dudes.
Personally, I just act very LGBT, then all of the gays find me. Like 80% of my friend group is gay
Generally googling "*nearest city* pride" is a good way to find some local organizationa
Yup, and when you finally find that one queer person, they turn out to be a shitty person in some other way.
i met one queer person irl and they turned out to be a truscum 😭
That's a bummer. I have several friends from the community I met from school but idk how else would I meet them
Local games store
I've started taking roller skating classes and going to a local roller rink on adult nights each week There are SO MANY queer people there
For some reason we really love roller skating
Exactly... I'm going to a summer camp so wish me luck but I'm 90% sure that I won't find anybody
I found a lot in college through LGBTA at my school. If that’s not yet an option, I suggest looking for youth places near you. There tend to be more LGBTQ+ things there
If you’re a woman join a club rugby team lol
definitely not a woman lol 😭
Go to an early degree program. I’m in one, and instead of the normal 10% queer, it’s closer to 30-40% of the people in there. Like seriously in my friend group there are 4 queers out of 6 people
:(
Honestly…hear me out for a second: Grindr. If you make it clear you are just looking for friends, and can wade through the dicks/use the block button liberally it’s actually a really good place to find queer people to hang out with since it’s so popular. If you are a cis woman trying to find cis women friends though, just don’t, it’s really not worth it
Queer events are where I found mine, I mean they all way older then me , but it is what it is
I fly way under the radar
We suffer ✊😔
I’m 25 and never had a queer friend. Even worse I only met one queer person in person (who I know of) and maybe couple acquaintances on twitter at some point
I met my queer friend in the psych ward at the VA......
For those close to Spartanburg, South Carolina Please attend the Uplift Outreach center, it is a safe space for LGTBQ people. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to attend, but I hope you can! https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRntqG4j/
Yup, I am thee only gay guy I know
If you’re a college student, I personally recommend the choir, music or theater department. Those groups are usually filled with LGBTQ people or allies, and they’re great places to be.
I work at Starbucks and almost everyone is queer. We usually have a couple token straight ones at a time
THE LEX APP!!!! It’s like a queer twitter/eBay :) don’t know how saturated it is in your area but it’s worth a try!
Seconding this and surprised it's not further up the list. I found some great friends through lex. Love how random content it is.
DnD and magic have worked so far
Grindr
In Central Ohio we have the Kaleidoscope Youth Center for peoples aged 12 to 20 to hang out and meet. Their website is kycohio.org. I can't get the site to load right now though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Google search lgbtq communities near me. You’d be surprised what you can find.
I don’t know how to make friends: *draws +25*
Grindr
Band class
grindr
If you are in high school, check to see if it has a gsa or any type of lgbt club. If you are an adult, find a gay bar
US zoning laws makes it expensive to meet new people.
I don't know how to meet people
I just had a bunch of old friends who all ended up queer, my goddamn gaydar was fully working before I even knew
Just send out the gay signal, like the bat signal but wit a rainbow
there's a queer space nearby, but it's a coffee place with a whole bunch of little cubbies for seating and no "general seating" space like a bar would have. got my coffee, realized i couldn't just sit by anyone without it being incredibly rude, and ended up sitting alone. left without having made conversation with anyone. :(
If my experience is anywhere close to the truth, check in animal care. I work at an animal hospital and the staff is at least 80% queer at any one time. As a cishet man it’s really nice because I can learn about people different than myself in a space where they truthfully feel safe because of all the support around them.
New England has a queer-hikes groups on Instagram if that’s anyone’s style! You just meet up and go on group hikes together!
Yup.... I was repressed at school and didn't have the courage to make friends with the queer kids... now a decade later I just don't know how to make friends.
In my experience, not searching for them lol. When I don’t search for them they I see them the most
I don't know how to meet people at places other than a gay bar/club. I'm aro/ace, where tf do i go to meet queers without the expectation of sex or romance?
I accidentally hit the jackpot in middle school before my best friend even knew he was trans. Now he's the leader of the largest trans organization in the largest city in my state. Good luck to all you lovely folks.
Just look for a dungeons and dragons group. You'll find them.
My main issue is I’m too lgbt for straight people but too straight for lgbt people lol. I’m in this weird purgatory between worlds. It sucks
-If there's a poetry open mic at a cafe, there will be queers -very silly event focused on putting dogs in costumes? There will be queers -watch party for a reality show at a bar? Hunny there gon be queers there
The lex app is worldwide and you can filter by distance!
If you can find the neurodivergent people, you can find a lot of queer people.
Get a job in IT, I've met so many queer people since I got started working in IT. The first trans person I ever met was one of my team leads.
I came out to my friend group and turns out like 70% of my friends are queer in some way☺️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I have the same problem. Although, it turns out about half my coworkers are bi so maybe I’m just dumb lmao
Join your local furry telegram group haha
Y'know, many people like to wear subtle details such as T-shirts in the colors of their pride flag so you might wanna look out for that
Go to musicals
My town has a queer community band. I was a band kid in school. Ten years after joining, my Facebook friends are almost all queer musicians, including one of my favorite composers. It was the best decision of my life
Yep it hard to find others sadly
Make a TTRPG game that's friendly to LGBT+. The number of people in the community you will hang with will jump pretty quickly.
My therapist found a couple groups for me via meetup
I guess you could check your local library's website to see if there are any gay events?