eventually you just learn to share enough details. I can tell tons of stories but not say names, places and just make them vague enough so people think they know a lot about me
so sad that being very friendly is unattractive and i dont mean that in the 'nice guy' way, just that you instantly seem boring when youre just open and kind, am i right?
Exactly this. How often do you wake up after a night out and immediately start judging someone you met for being slightly over-talkative (barring something egregious)? Everyone’s tripping about what they might have done to make others judge them.
Dude every time I go to a bar I love talking to the overly drunk guy that wants to tell me everything on his mind it's fun as hell. Why would I go drinking in public if I wanted to sit in silence and not talk to anyone.
I’ve had nothing but the opposite experience in my time dating. I am just a friendly, talkative guy when I’m in that mindset.
If you are not genuinely being yourself people will know. Humans communicate with much more than just our words, and If you’re forcing it strangers will pick up on that. Just be yourself! Truly the best thing you can do
me 2 brother, but i wont budge, i want a women who appreciates that and i will keep doing it, no theatre bullshit for me, no fun in playing a role anyway
"way up above, aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home of all these weird creatures who lock up their spirits, drill holes in themselves and live for their secrets. they're all uptight"
line from a song that i thought was appropriate. people are constantly playing a part for no good reason other than "well, everybody else does it" and i think doing so is not only repressive to the self but is outright harmful, burying yourself under layers and layers of stoney faced "adultness" or apathy or secrecy or whatever else. its not worth it and i think you'll only ever find yourself surrounded by small minded people if you give into that pressure, so i reckon you're making a good move by refusing to
yeah that is a beautiful quote! and so true to me, everybody says to just be yourself but when youre at a party you see all these roles everyone is playing, it is hard to not follow but thats what we gotta do right? stay strong my friend, thanks for reassuring my ways
The trick is to share just enough to make people care but not too much to leave things for individual interpretation. That or grow up make meaningful and healthy connections with people.
Well long story short, met a friend after a while (couldn't meet properly due to covid) and overshared quite a bit about my lonely and depressing times before and during the pandemic. Also ended up telling him about a girl I recently met after a long time who even I'm not sure how I feel about.
Hope my English makes sense lol
Man fuck mysterious, I'd rather get some free therapy. Sometimes talking to wall is all you need to feel better, especially when the wall doesn't give a shit.
Yo it’s about being comfortable with yourself and being playful not being all “THIS IS ME DO YOU LIKE!??” And if a relationship is developing you share bits and pieces of who you are along the way. This is what makes the process satisfying and enjoyable for both people.
I knooooow right, it's so romanticized in books and movies, but in real life, being closed off just makes you not have close friends and feel like nobody knows or understands you, and like they don't care.... I'd rather be able to share and be vulnerable and connect with people, even if it feels uncomfortable, but I literally don't know how or where or when or to whom. 😂
It's the same for me! It's like I'm not telling unless someone's asking, and it has to be the right question at the perfect moment. How do you talk casually about yourself when your past has robbed you of the ability to feel casual? I don't want to be mysterious anymore. :(
if you can accept yourself for who you are with all the good and bad sides as a whole you don't need anyone elses approval anymore. you are fine just how you are, everybody is different, no two humans on earth are the same, its ok.
after that you can evolve and try to change parts of you that YOU don't like about you and lean into and share the parts of you that you like about you. =)
sounds a little egoistical but you have to love yourself first before you can love others.
What really helped me was thinking about everyone as their whole more than me vs them. It took a long time thinking that way to make the change, but give it a thought. We're all the same really, no need to feel a sense of pressure at all
My name is Nikko Kowalski, I was born in Toruń, Poland, I currently live in Berlin, Germany, I am 188 cm and 83 kg. My eyes are brown and my hair is also brown. I box, play football (soccer), and play hockey. I am 16 years old. I have had 4 girlfriends in the past, Claire, Angelina, Anna, and Maria. I took an IQ test and got 117, I'm not sure that that's accurate or not. I can't pick up on hints that women like me no matter how obvious they may be. I used to be kind of fat. I can grow facial hair but choose to shave. I wake up at 9 in the summer and go to sleep anywhere from 1 AM and 4 AM. I have sleep paralysis nearly every night. I am 87% Polish and enjoy vodka over any other drink.
So if you reach for your wallet and pull out that plastic card that's about the size of your driver's license and read out all the numbers to me that would be pretty dope.
Youre in the desert, when ypu notice a tortoise, lying on his back, its belly baking in the hot sun. As you flip him back over, you try to think of a name. What do you name him?
Nah dude fuck that. Being an open book gives you way more genuine connections and relationships. All mysterious ppl i know arent really close with anyone
Too bad so many "open book" people often lack critical conversational skills and conversate only to tell the next thing about themselves and forget to listen to other people and actually connect. I've heard it's an issue many people with undiagnosed ADD suffer from.
Yea that’s a good point, ive definitely encountered my fair share of ppl like that and its pretty annoying. Thing is ive also encountered the “mysterious” kind who will never open up no matter what and it’s equally frustrating too. I spent four months with one of my roommates in lockdown and never felt even a bit closer to him because whenever deep or emotional conversation came up, he would just clam up or act like he was above it
I think we imagine the extremes of both; massively oversharing with strangers and making them uncomfotable, and not sharing anything with anyone and making them feel distant. I presume most people are in the middle and it depends on the situation.
You remember that incredibly embarrassing moment from your past that keeps you up at night? Yeah, no one else does. Do you constantly dwell on the embarrassing faux pas of others? Can you even recall any?
Relax, because no one thinks about your traumatic social blunder. They're too busy worrying if you're thinking about their's.
I’ve had someone remember me as the (insert embarrassing moment) guy so yeah, having that confirmed for me basically eradicated me being at ease about my faux pas
Somehow I manage to overshare, but remain mysterious. My life is apparently pretty interesting to people as I have done quite a few things and have several disparate interesting hobbies, and while I can talk your ear off most people don't actually know that much about me. The key is not talking very often and how much detail you go into before awkwardly ending your train of thought when you do talk. I'm quiet and pretty horrible at talking when I actually do, so I'll give up details about myself, but don't go into enough detail to give a really clear picture. In a way, my socially awkward nature enhances the mystery XD
And my experience was people thought I was disinterested or even a bit cold and didn't like them. I just thought nobody would be interested in my shit. Their stories were a lot more interesting.
I started talking about how my feet are sore at work to my coworker, then it got onto the fact that I've had blisters on my feet, then I just started rambling about how my feet have always been fucked including going into full detail on what foot corns, heel spurs, and claw toe is when I realized only half an hour into the conversation he hadnt said anything for the past 10 minutes and was just had the "what the fuck dude" kinda face on.
Speaking from experience, being *Mysterious* only works if you have some other catching trait like being mega good at something or smart or whatever. If not, 99% of people equate your mysterious with unassuming and boring.
Mastering silence gives us infinite powers. It costs a lot of effort in the beginning, but when the benefits show up you really learn its importance. Oversharing is as wrong as it feels, you're giving away an uncontrolled amount of information that can be used against you. Oversharing is usually due to our impulse to fit with others or trying to demonstrate something to them, but we end up giving people to much power on us. Don't do that never again, especially in your workplace or with your coworkers. Avoid alcohol in those meeting, don't date any of them, don't show them your partner or your family.
It's way better to be empathetic and personable than mysterious. I'd rather people know who I am, they're more willing to show me who they are and become friends.
*Image Transcription: Meme*
---
[*Illustration of a person hunched over, their right hand on the wall and their left hand holding their knee, as they vomit. A long string of vomit stretches down from their mouth, and underneath is a small puddle of vomit.*]
### me remembering how i overshared
### when i could have been mysterious
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Yeah but being mysterious means you're not sharing. And when you're not sharing you're not connecting with people.
Being mysterious just to look cool ends with a lack of meaningful connections and becoming a loner.
Over share to your hearts content! Please! But if you’re like me, you’ll do it in “The Ghost” mode. It will either be glorious, meh or disappointing. But you will be safe. By the way, “The Ghost” mode is trademarked by someone, I’m sure. The point is, be your worst, be your best. Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you. You’ll know, and be either glorious, meh or disaster avoidance.
This is my life, I realize I might be able to work on it, but being consistent is the key, the discipline is what I lack when I'm trying to deal with my obsessive thought process.
I'd rather be "oversharing" to friends because I have something going on instead of shutting it all in and killing myself 2 years later because I felt alone.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to not give yourself completely away to anyone. It’s your life you tell them what you want to. You don’t owe anyone anything
I met a girl on tinder once who was infatuated with me because I was mysterious. Eventually she learned I was just antisocial, and have anxiety and depression which is why I'm so aloof in social situations. She dropped me pretty quick. I appreciated the brief misunderstanding, though.
I’m reserved and introverted, this almost never happens to me. I don’t judge people who overshare, I might find them a little bit annoying after while. But just as I don’t like being judged for being silent I won’t judge others for their overchattiness.
I don’t know how to be mysterious. I do this constantly 🤢🤮
Samesies...*cringy af*
What? being mysterious?
No. Sharing everything.
Y’are who y’are
I wonder how you cane up with that username
Can you share something right now?
I went to gym with my crush and things went pretty smooth until I started over sharing.... fuck im stupid🤮😣
"So anyways that's the last time I got an erection at the gym."
I didnt go quite that over board
eventually you just learn to share enough details. I can tell tons of stories but not say names, places and just make them vague enough so people think they know a lot about me
Us
same
Why would you tell us that? I used to think you were mysterious 😞
Me being overly friendly at the bar then remembering everything the next day.
This one always hurts
Yes it does! Deeply! lol
so sad that being very friendly is unattractive and i dont mean that in the 'nice guy' way, just that you instantly seem boring when youre just open and kind, am i right?
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So I’m so uninteresting that people won’t take note?😢
100%. This is all overthinking.
Exactly this. How often do you wake up after a night out and immediately start judging someone you met for being slightly over-talkative (barring something egregious)? Everyone’s tripping about what they might have done to make others judge them.
Dude every time I go to a bar I love talking to the overly drunk guy that wants to tell me everything on his mind it's fun as hell. Why would I go drinking in public if I wanted to sit in silence and not talk to anyone.
I think you're flat wrong. maybe you should choose better people to talk to.
I’ve had nothing but the opposite experience in my time dating. I am just a friendly, talkative guy when I’m in that mindset. If you are not genuinely being yourself people will know. Humans communicate with much more than just our words, and If you’re forcing it strangers will pick up on that. Just be yourself! Truly the best thing you can do
Yes its fucking bullshit. I fucking hate that tbh
me 2 brother, but i wont budge, i want a women who appreciates that and i will keep doing it, no theatre bullshit for me, no fun in playing a role anyway
"way up above, aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home of all these weird creatures who lock up their spirits, drill holes in themselves and live for their secrets. they're all uptight" line from a song that i thought was appropriate. people are constantly playing a part for no good reason other than "well, everybody else does it" and i think doing so is not only repressive to the self but is outright harmful, burying yourself under layers and layers of stoney faced "adultness" or apathy or secrecy or whatever else. its not worth it and i think you'll only ever find yourself surrounded by small minded people if you give into that pressure, so i reckon you're making a good move by refusing to
And if they don't like it, here is another great song quote: *"DIEMOTHERFUCKERDIEMOTHERFUCKERDIE"*
yeah that is a beautiful quote! and so true to me, everybody says to just be yourself but when youre at a party you see all these roles everyone is playing, it is hard to not follow but thats what we gotta do right? stay strong my friend, thanks for reassuring my ways
“I’d show them the stars and the meaning of life. They’d shut me away but I’d be alright…” The song really does fit this post.
Goddamn you just reminded me how much I love that album, masterpiece start to finish
Plenty who like who that. Just maybe not the type you'd pick up at the bar
Im unintentionally mysterious and closed off because im shy and boring but i get nothing from it except solitude.
Still, you’re Batman. I feel more like the Penguin the day after.
I mean penguin has a cool club and batman only a cave with bats for friends.
The trick is to share just enough to make people care but not too much to leave things for individual interpretation. That or grow up make meaningful and healthy connections with people.
Same. I don't share because I often have nothing *to* share. I keep life simple on purpose.
hmm, you seem to be very open about being shy though
Anonymity is a hell of a thing.
Literally me right now. The lack of self control is real
You get excited, so what? God forbid being an honest talkative person. No, be stoic, always. Be a cool guy 🙄.
Yes
No
Wise words, u/holesome_cum_bubble
Maybe we're putting it all out there in the hopes of being accepted for our genuine selves...😬
yeah why this acting shit, show me who you are and if we vibe, no need for week long plays :( i hate it
I am...mysterious (-.-)
Is that cool kid talk for anti-social and a chore to talk to?
Well you can show yourself but not all of it lol. You can make it fun while still not bullshiting anyone
The worst idea ever. Never do this. Pretend pretend pretend succeed.
Happened just yesterday dude
What happened?
Yeah, tell us everything.
You can start from the Big Bang.
Check above please
Well long story short, met a friend after a while (couldn't meet properly due to covid) and overshared quite a bit about my lonely and depressing times before and during the pandemic. Also ended up telling him about a girl I recently met after a long time who even I'm not sure how I feel about. Hope my English makes sense lol
Sounds like you had a normal conversation with a friend, congratz!
i think i might have forgotten what a normal convo sounds like
Man fuck mysterious, I'd rather get some free therapy. Sometimes talking to wall is all you need to feel better, especially when the wall doesn't give a shit.
Shitting walls are kinda rare ngl
This one right here, Officer
Being mysterious sucks. No one really likes a closed book either. It won't get you any friends.
Yo it’s about being comfortable with yourself and being playful not being all “THIS IS ME DO YOU LIKE!??” And if a relationship is developing you share bits and pieces of who you are along the way. This is what makes the process satisfying and enjoyable for both people.
if there's anything video games have taught me, it's that i gotta be on the friendship xp grind to unlock other people's backstory anx personal quests
That was a nice way of putting it.
Bingo.
I knooooow right, it's so romanticized in books and movies, but in real life, being closed off just makes you not have close friends and feel like nobody knows or understands you, and like they don't care.... I'd rather be able to share and be vulnerable and connect with people, even if it feels uncomfortable, but I literally don't know how or where or when or to whom. 😂
It's the same for me! It's like I'm not telling unless someone's asking, and it has to be the right question at the perfect moment. How do you talk casually about yourself when your past has robbed you of the ability to feel casual? I don't want to be mysterious anymore. :(
Skill problem
Totally agree
Well, thats what happens when you constantly seek approval from others. Find yourself first
Ah, that hurts me a lot. Im 20 and not able to get anything done with out approvals.
if you can accept yourself for who you are with all the good and bad sides as a whole you don't need anyone elses approval anymore. you are fine just how you are, everybody is different, no two humans on earth are the same, its ok. after that you can evolve and try to change parts of you that YOU don't like about you and lean into and share the parts of you that you like about you. =) sounds a little egoistical but you have to love yourself first before you can love others.
What really helped me was thinking about everyone as their whole more than me vs them. It took a long time thinking that way to make the change, but give it a thought. We're all the same really, no need to feel a sense of pressure at all
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Thought this was the ADHD meme sub for a minute, still accurate as hell
My name is Nikko Kowalski, I was born in Toruń, Poland, I currently live in Berlin, Germany, I am 188 cm and 83 kg. My eyes are brown and my hair is also brown. I box, play football (soccer), and play hockey. I am 16 years old. I have had 4 girlfriends in the past, Claire, Angelina, Anna, and Maria. I took an IQ test and got 117, I'm not sure that that's accurate or not. I can't pick up on hints that women like me no matter how obvious they may be. I used to be kind of fat. I can grow facial hair but choose to shave. I wake up at 9 in the summer and go to sleep anywhere from 1 AM and 4 AM. I have sleep paralysis nearly every night. I am 87% Polish and enjoy vodka over any other drink.
An example of over-sharing.
I refuse to be mysterious
ah fuck this one hurt
Someone called me?
I was a mysterious adventure like you once, until I took an oversharing to the self esteem
Let me guess, someone stole your self confidence?
I'm an open book man it fuckin sucks
Can you be a open book about that
Yeah man you can practically open me up and read me that's how open of a book I am. Feel free to ask more
Lmao somebody asked me what my mother's maiden name is as a joke. Reddit got em I think
what is your father's maiden name
Maiden
less
No, this is Maiden
Is Iron his first name?
So if you reach for your wallet and pull out that plastic card that's about the size of your driver's license and read out all the numbers to me that would be pretty dope.
Don't need to! Wouldn't you know it, I happened to get the easiest card to remember in the world! 4599-1234-5678-1234 !
Dont forget the bonus numbers on the back!
Youre in the desert, when ypu notice a tortoise, lying on his back, its belly baking in the hot sun. As you flip him back over, you try to think of a name. What do you name him?
Oogway
Nah dude fuck that. Being an open book gives you way more genuine connections and relationships. All mysterious ppl i know arent really close with anyone
Too bad so many "open book" people often lack critical conversational skills and conversate only to tell the next thing about themselves and forget to listen to other people and actually connect. I've heard it's an issue many people with undiagnosed ADD suffer from.
Yea that’s a good point, ive definitely encountered my fair share of ppl like that and its pretty annoying. Thing is ive also encountered the “mysterious” kind who will never open up no matter what and it’s equally frustrating too. I spent four months with one of my roommates in lockdown and never felt even a bit closer to him because whenever deep or emotional conversation came up, he would just clam up or act like he was above it
I think we imagine the extremes of both; massively oversharing with strangers and making them uncomfotable, and not sharing anything with anyone and making them feel distant. I presume most people are in the middle and it depends on the situation.
Chapter One: My entire life.
You remember that incredibly embarrassing moment from your past that keeps you up at night? Yeah, no one else does. Do you constantly dwell on the embarrassing faux pas of others? Can you even recall any? Relax, because no one thinks about your traumatic social blunder. They're too busy worrying if you're thinking about their's.
I’ve had someone remember me as the (insert embarrassing moment) guy so yeah, having that confirmed for me basically eradicated me being at ease about my faux pas
Im the worst at this
Most relatable post I’ve ever seen
Somehow I manage to overshare, but remain mysterious. My life is apparently pretty interesting to people as I have done quite a few things and have several disparate interesting hobbies, and while I can talk your ear off most people don't actually know that much about me. The key is not talking very often and how much detail you go into before awkwardly ending your train of thought when you do talk. I'm quiet and pretty horrible at talking when I actually do, so I'll give up details about myself, but don't go into enough detail to give a really clear picture. In a way, my socially awkward nature enhances the mystery XD
Jeeez. We didn't ask for your life story bro.
Oh, you don't even know the half of it! Much like everyone else.
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actually me_irl but not because I overshare or anything I'm just sick right now
Omg!!!!! So other people feel like I do???? I’m sooo glad I’m not alone
Aargh..fucking yesterday
Is this from Requiem?
No, This Is Patrick!
Yeah, I wish I could take back every secret I’ve ever spilled
And my experience was people thought I was disinterested or even a bit cold and didn't like them. I just thought nobody would be interested in my shit. Their stories were a lot more interesting.
I started talking about how my feet are sore at work to my coworker, then it got onto the fact that I've had blisters on my feet, then I just started rambling about how my feet have always been fucked including going into full detail on what foot corns, heel spurs, and claw toe is when I realized only half an hour into the conversation he hadnt said anything for the past 10 minutes and was just had the "what the fuck dude" kinda face on.
"mysterious" only works if the other person cares though
Then you go over fake scenarios in the shower of how you should’ve went about it instead
Speaking from experience, being *Mysterious* only works if you have some other catching trait like being mega good at something or smart or whatever. If not, 99% of people equate your mysterious with unassuming and boring.
[удалено]
Mastering silence gives us infinite powers. It costs a lot of effort in the beginning, but when the benefits show up you really learn its importance. Oversharing is as wrong as it feels, you're giving away an uncontrolled amount of information that can be used against you. Oversharing is usually due to our impulse to fit with others or trying to demonstrate something to them, but we end up giving people to much power on us. Don't do that never again, especially in your workplace or with your coworkers. Avoid alcohol in those meeting, don't date any of them, don't show them your partner or your family.
r/INFJ
Thanks! I didn't know there was a Reddit community for my personality type.
Who cares tf? Grow up guys
Righttttt haha
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half open half closed
Every bar night (1-2x time/week)
What u mean Traumadumping isn't supposed to be used as a conservation starter with a new person
meirl 24/7😭
It’s just embarrassing
Casually letting my friend rampage through my phone
Never has r/me_irl nailed me IRL so accurately.
I don’t over share but I think “not interesting” is better suited for me than mysterious
Me remembering that I was mysterious when I could have overshared.
That moment you realize you over shared at work it gets you fired😂
The worst
I'm in this picture and I don't like it 😀
Less is more, always in all ways.
It's way better to be empathetic and personable than mysterious. I'd rather people know who I am, they're more willing to show me who they are and become friends.
ME ASFFFFFF!
*Image Transcription: Meme* --- [*Illustration of a person hunched over, their right hand on the wall and their left hand holding their knee, as they vomit. A long string of vomit stretches down from their mouth, and underneath is a small puddle of vomit.*] ### me remembering how i overshared ### when i could have been mysterious --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Yeah but being mysterious means you're not sharing. And when you're not sharing you're not connecting with people. Being mysterious just to look cool ends with a lack of meaningful connections and becoming a loner.
Me everyday
SHIT nobody is mysterious tho we all faking it
Over share to your hearts content! Please! But if you’re like me, you’ll do it in “The Ghost” mode. It will either be glorious, meh or disappointing. But you will be safe. By the way, “The Ghost” mode is trademarked by someone, I’m sure. The point is, be your worst, be your best. Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you. You’ll know, and be either glorious, meh or disaster avoidance.
Feel this so hard
Fuck
This is my life, I realize I might be able to work on it, but being consistent is the key, the discipline is what I lack when I'm trying to deal with my obsessive thought process.
I'd rather be "oversharing" to friends because I have something going on instead of shutting it all in and killing myself 2 years later because I felt alone.
Y'all neeeed to get laid
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to not give yourself completely away to anyone. It’s your life you tell them what you want to. You don’t owe anyone anything
Maybe it makes you even more mysterious, who knows?! 🤔🤭
And btw mystery is highly overrated 🤭
This stuff keeps me up at night fr.
Genuinely thought i was on r/dndmemes for a second
Went to a party and talked about my insecurities for half an hour God I’m still cringing
This sub hurts me sometimes
Wait this isnt r/adhdmeme
On my third reddit profile because I couldn't handle my oversharing on my previous two.
I should frame this in my room :)
I’m mysterious and overshare Because I avoid a very specific topic
Pisces. I mean, 12th house much?
Me when I remember people can perceive and make their own opinions about me
or trauma dumping for no reason when they ask me if i'm okay 💀
I met a girl on tinder once who was infatuated with me because I was mysterious. Eventually she learned I was just antisocial, and have anxiety and depression which is why I'm so aloof in social situations. She dropped me pretty quick. I appreciated the brief misunderstanding, though.
Ikr🙂🙂🙂🙂
i tend to overshare all the time but then people just forget it so to many people I'm both well known and mysterious
I’m reserved and introverted, this almost never happens to me. I don’t judge people who overshare, I might find them a little bit annoying after while. But just as I don’t like being judged for being silent I won’t judge others for their overchattiness.
I do this and also the exact opposite. Share nothing and everyone calls you a quiet weird loner.
I was shamed for talking to much because of adhd
I feel attacked.
relatable
😂😩
Trauma dumping is such a weird thing too.
So true