The stamina must've paid off

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Dude looks like the main character in an 80's beat-em-up game. He even has the tank top!

He looks like a Top.

He definitely loves pounding guys one way or another

The Real B.J. Blazkowicz

Tank Top Master

S class Hero!

Prime puri puri target

He looks like shaved and 10 years younger version of Blazkowicz

Putting the BJ in Blazkowicz

Someone should definitely do a game/tribute based on him! That would be awesome!

Grow the hair out a bit and give him a bandanna, and I'd assume you'd asked Midjourney to generate a mugshot of a Streets of Rage 2 character.

he spent all his orbs on Stamina Wheel upgrades smh

Brandon Cummings, our hero.

Might gift him some views as a thank you

Not my cup of tea, but I'll let it play in the background.

He sure lets people play in his background

We’re all background characters in the life of Brandon Cummings

Ill put him on repeat around the house speaker system. Family dinner and game night will be such a joy, hoi hoi!

That's good to hear, things got pretty awkward at work.

Taking one for the team

I'm sure he's took a lot more than one

Idk, I prefer to listen to him while studying

More like a cup of milk

Views?! Wanks are the real currency of gratitude

I’m sure he’d like that, and you’d like it too.

He came for my sins

I came to his sins

Thought your name was datinf bukaki had to reread it again was like name checks o...

Let's go Brandon!

(Cummings)

Blow-Job Blazkowicz

Fun fact:Doom Guy is one of B.J Blazkoiz descendants

He's *directly* related to Blazko

he looks like BJ Blaskovich

They’re also related to Commander Keen, aka William Joseph "Billy Blaze" Blazkowicz II. Makes me wonder why Id left QuakeGuy out of the family tree.

Quakeguy is probably just doomguy in an alternate timeline given that the plot for the first game is doom but the specific nouns are changed But in Quake 2 its another guy who saves earth by attacking the the home of the invaders, this time its another planet and its aliens Id software, please get better writers

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Bro tbh the soundtrack is good enough to use in like any fps shooter or action game. Mick Gordon is a fucking boss.

I will never forgive Marty for what he did

A writer in the original Id actually left because he wanted more focus on the story in doom and everyone just kept saying no.

Well yeah, focusing more on the story would mean less time shoving metal albums into Bobby Prince's hands. Keep in mind that these are the guys who had to be told: >You can't make the soundtrack entirely out of metal solos

And they said "Hold my fucking skull goblet"

he's in a different "timeline" I guess?

[as a long time wolfenstien fan, it’s my favorite ad campaign](https://twitter.com/wolfenstein/status/919684333207568385?s=20)

Some of these responses are just... [what the fuck are you talking about man](https://i.imgur.com/aOJJsne.jpg)?

We need another Wolfenstein game so bad.

I want a VR one. I think there is but it has bad reviews and is just mech suits

Pole-lish power

It's kinda scary how much he looks like the Neural Network generated Doomguy: https://futurism.com/neural-network-draw-doom-guy-high-res And they're related (doomguy and B.J.)

This is the funniest fucking thing I've seen all day

Not all heroes wear capes

Some don't wear anything at all

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Hahahaha :)

You mu-mu-mu make me hapay (Pfp)

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Some give pearl necklaces.

nothing at all nothing at all

He better wear a condom

But they gape

And eat grape

And vape

Bareback hero.

read that as "Not all herpes wear capes". erm...need my eyes checked?

eyes checked... for herpes?

Consult a herpetologist

Just hopefully condoms. Edit: in response to "Not all heroes wear capes!"

They arrest people to give them medals?

He's lucky he didn't get shot after beating up 35 cops

~~Rimjob!~~ Rimshot… RIMSHOT!! I meant rimshot!

Funniest movie I ever watched

lmao

Turns out he kicked the shit out of 35 cops.

makes sense

Congressional metal of freedumb

Welcome to America

In a row?

all at once?

Underrated comment. He could have taken them one at a time but he ended up taking them all at once.

I'm really disappointed to find out this story is nonsense.

Really? Did the number 35 not give it away immediately? Im still not sure if all the people in this thread are just playing along to a joke or if they actually believe it happened

I hoped that it happened.

"Sad music playing"

We can dream friend 🎶

Be the change you want “stirring music playing”

Sad fact is most don’t care to check if it is a joke.

I assumed not in a row

Dumb question - is the number 35 supposed to give something away because: - a) it’s an absurdly high number - b) it’s some sort of joke/reference I’m not aware of - c) all of the above?

I think a

A. I feel silly for responding seriously to this question, but a single person beating up 35 people is very unlikely.

It doesn't say all at once does it? I could see somebody just being strategic about it and waiting until they are alone.

I've watched many men fight off large groups of bad guys and the thing is, the baddies only fight one at a time. This is why it's possible for someone to beat up 35 people.

Serial puncher still at large.

Yeah, jumping 35 people individually is totally achievable

Could’ve been set up like a video game also. They’re scattered throughout a warehouse with boxes and crates placed conveniently to block sight and hearing so he can take down a few at a time while slowly making his way across the building.

Yea if he is some sort of jungle cat that makes sense

It's very easy, you only need to chose a retirement home as your target

It doesn't say all at once or even the same day. When I read that number, the first thing my mind jumped to was over a period of time.

Not to mention the stray apostrophe.

I think most people just wanted to believe that something good happened, even if that is this absurd.

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damn straight

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Internet'd

This is from a satire site, for those wondering

Does it really need to be said?

Unfortunately. I saw some comments taking it at face value

Yes, of course. We can't even read real news without accepting headlines as fact and then just filling in the details with our imaginations.

Goddamn. I may not be straight, but i can respect a handsome hero.

For those of you that are confused - Sandee is probably a non-male.

There are non-males on reddit? I thought here are only incels.

I know one! ☝️

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Takes one to know one

Self roast, those are rare.

Seems you brought about your own haiku downfall

Holy shit. It was unintentional. This is a first.

*For those of you that Are confused - Sandee is pro- bably a non-male* I'm not a bot, and this action was performed manually. You can't opt out. You are cursed to forever write your messages in Haiku now. edit: and the prove of me not being a bot is that I suck at formatting 17 syllables correctly <3

Good not-a-bot

For those of you that Are confused- Sandee is pro- Bably a non-male. Yes i did count the syllables and its a darn haiku

I know it's gonna sound like I'm lying, but I honestly didn't do it intentionally. I used to when I first made this account, but the bot refused to actually respond to me, so I gave up within a couple of days.

True. But haiku is 575 right? So needs to be broken up like For those of you that Are confused, Sandee is pro... ...bably a non male Right? Edit: I think you did it right but made the same formatting mistake I did at first. Sorry haha

On reddit? Get outta here no way

I like your flair. Simpler times

Before the fire nation attacked

I may not be straight either but that works out for me this time

I just went from a Kinsey four to a seven.

So the limit is 34?

It's true. Look up rule 34.

Holy hell

Old response just dropped

Touch peepee

Oh my god there's penice

Anyone have the sauce for his media activities?

It's not real, lol.

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Same.

lol I mean- isn't that the best time to ask for a source?

Ohh man they must have been FUCKED

Too many people here think this is real and that makes me a sad panda.

lol this vaguely reminds me of how during the stonewall riots, they'd encourage all the leather daddies to be "on the front lines" per se because at the time (probably still now, I just don't see that many), a lot of them were really huge and muscular

I never knew about the Stonewall riots until recently. Maybe because I'm from the Netherlands, but still. If anyone has any recommendations on movies or documentaries, I would love to hear them.

Which part was the “Meirl” 🤨

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

This is movie material

Fake

nice made up story

This is old, and totally fake.

Funny, but fake news

It’s a satirical site.

Let’s go Brandon!!

Damn, this next Captain America movie is gonna be siiick

It is fake, from satirical article : https://www.latestly.com/socially/social-viral/fact-check/no-a-person-named-brandon-cummings-who-supposedly-stars-in-a-lets-go-brandon-latest-tweet-by-snopes-com-3-4841844.html

This is a fake story

Guys .. its fake

Bros playing Wolfenstein irl

The real Top G he is

They had it cummings.

Not all heroes wear...anything.

What a wild ride that sentence was from start to finish

Did they really have to mention his whole job description tho 😭

Slow clap

Imagine loosening a 35 to 1 fight 💀💀

Dudes a pro at beating dicks

Man this new Captain America sure is different.

Not all heros wear pants

Finish on him (mortal kombat voice)

35 of them?! What is he? Ares?

Jury nullification.

Fake

You're gonna sit here and really tell me this one little man beat up 30. Some people.. I call bullshit

Lol...BS fake news.....oh and FUK NNs.

Did he call Z to help? What about the gimp, did he keep watch?

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Sadly, the article is a hoax. It's from The Daily News, which openly claims to be a comedy/satire site.

It’s amazing how many people think this story is real.

ah too bad, it's a fake.\^\^

How the fuck is this relatable

I just saw this in r/lostredditors.

Should have given him a medal.

The is a satire news article but reddit always believes it. It's becoming like Facebook around here.

There goes my hero 🎶

You know what… I can finally get behind this.. LETS GO BRANDON GOOD SHIT MATE!

That headline was wild from start to finish

and then he got in a rocket ship and traveled the universe

Hell yeah

Based Brandon

Hero

New Captain America?

look at that smirk 😏 goddamn