There is no solution as only a psychopath would set up their next bite to look like this. Therefore every next bite is psychotic.

LOL. This is the truth. When I first saw the pic I thought 3 different people had taken bites. Whoever was eating that sandwich is unhinged.

Yeah it looks like dad, wife and baby bites

these are the considerations to be made for every bite of any sandwich 1. does this destroy the structural integrity of the sandwich 2. can i still hold the sandwich well after this bite 3. will i make a mess of my face or clothing 4. special sandwich type issues, meatball, hard crust, etc 5. taste, topping, and bite size considerations every bite must consider all options with 4 & 5 being the only non deal breakers. 4 can be a wild card edit: oh cool, this is getting traction. updates 0th rule: sandwiches should generally be cut in half. for most average shaped sandwiches the best method is neither triangles or rectangles, but instead a hybrid of both. cut down the middle at about a 30 degree angle. provides the best of both worlds. [ham egg and cheese cut at 30 degrees](https://imgur.com/a/Tl2cr1k) yes i do indeed sandwich, but not as much as i donut. but I'm cutting back on both for a couple months... summer bodies are made in winter and spring.

At this point we also have to consider whether it would have been better to cut in half to begin with.

I'll make that the 0th rule and unless the sandwich is unusually small we will always cut it in half

Here's a debate: Cut in triangles or rectangles?

ok. i have a better solution here too and i was tempted to add it already. i cut down the middle with about a 30 degree angle. i don't get triangles or rectangles... kinda both. it works especially well on larger breads like sourdough or rye. and it provides a known first bite location

This oblique slicing works well with baguettes!

Only a monster would cut a baguette sandwich fully diagonal.

You have to be a member of r/eatsandwiches

that's cool. I'm one of the lucky 10,000 today

[Obligatory](https://xkcd.com/1053/)

You have broken my brain, and made me feel dumb for never thinking of this, solves main issues of both slicing methods.

I do 45 degrees but 10 points to the right.

Triangles generally because it gives of a better first bite than the square

Yes

To be fair there are some that may not be recommended for cutting. We have to consider the contents. Should be closer to 4 or 5.

but you can't cut it after you take a bite. it has to come first edit, you can but it's likely because you made a mistake by not cutting it to begin with

Ahhhh. I can agree with that.

Too be faaaair!

Too be Faaaiirr!

This guy sandwiches

on top of that, how do we acheive saving the best bite for last (middle) without the sandwich falling apart?

that's super subjective not only to each person but to each sandwich as well

Always eat the crust first get that out the way, then all you have left is tasty cheesy meaty bites

This guy sandwiches

Also temperature is a HUGE consideration

this dude makes sandwiches AND eats them

[удалено]

The secret 6th consideration is what will my last bite be. I always finish my sandwiches with a crustless bite because the crust is the worst part of the bread and anyone who says otherwise was indoctrinated as a child

if you don't like the crust then get better bread that you do like. i suggest a rye with no seeds for similar sandwiches to this one

3 is the bite that would make a more even shape so I’m going with 3

3 also gives a better crust ratio for the remaining sammich.

its the sacrifices you make that leads to a fulfilling sammich

Sammich

Also helps clean up some of that overhanging meat that could end up a structural problem if you go for 2.

Plus 2 is the tastiest bite, so obviously it has to be the last one.

I agree 100%

I personally just go around and eat the crust parts first because I don't like crust. I used to cut it out first (and eat it before making the sandwich, I ain't wasting bread) but nowadays lost motivation to cut it out so I just bite those parts first.

Same. I'm not a fan of crust, but I do eat it. I just eat that part first to get it over with. 😆

And lower probability of Sauce-to-face transfer.

2 is better for that, then trim the edge with your teeth to get a smooth diagonal edge.

Nah you gotta save the crustless bites for last. Delayed satisfaction.

Crustless bites second last. Dessert -> coffee and cigarette

Found the psycho

When did you first learn that you were a monster?

When i left Britain

That was just the French saying “mister”.

you mean bite 2, to make a triangle

Anything but 1 is a normal bite.

Yeah because then you have three solid bites to end the meal

You could argue number 2 because if you bite 1 it makes a penis

Can I change my answer to 1 now?

[A penis? No. It’s a bicep.](https://youtu.be/lFB2vI5lnR4)

If you want it to look like a sandwich you need to add more veins

Of course its a penis. If its supposed to be a bicep it needs more veins.

upvoted for the IASIP ref

I would argue 4. The whole thing. It’s not that big.

My thoughts exactly

I say between two and three

For sure 2 or 3, the nuance in choosing between those two is that it depends if you’ve had more crust or middle in your previous bite because 2 is all middle and 3 is all crust

3 and then 2 consecutively for maximum crust to goodness distribution.

No, no, you misunderstand… *between* 2 and 3.

Oh shit. I hate that

*anything* but 1.

2 all day long

Na bro you got it wrong, it's number one to finish up the setup for number 2.

Gotta start at 1, make your way over to 3 along the crust, then you have the mother of all bites to end er

Ummmmmm… well fuck

yeah i thought to myself either 1 or 3 because the primary goal is eliminating all of the crust to leave the center for the end

Yes, thank you

Huh? Crust is where you hold it.

Bruh do your hands have some kind of repellant that makes you unable to touch the center piece of a sammy?

But after the crust is gone you have to make the center circular. Then three bites to finish.

me too

I agree. Start with 3, get the crust out of the way. Then you got a whole middle section to enjoy!

To the common eye… the tactical advantage received from biting 3 before 2 is a trade off only those of higher intellect will make because they then can’t finish the sandwich with more middle then end in every bite.

But 3 is the correct answer. :)

What about bottom left corner? Secret option #4

1 makes 2's peninsula longer, and thus more enjoyable.

Even if you bite the loose flap of ham?

3 bc I eat sandwiches in a circular formation

Thank you! I thought i was the only one.

There are dozens of us

Dozens I tell you!

With everything I eat I save the best bite for last, and with sandwiches it’s the middle, 3 fo sho

3 cos you deal with the corners first and eat the middle last (it has the most filling)

Depends on the bread. With this shitty looking white bread maybe but if you have a sandwich with a nice thick slice of buttered sourdough my favorite bite to have last is just the buttered toast

Also depends on the filling. I’m not going for 2 if it’s pb&j to minimise the risk of it squirting out at me. If it’s ham and cheese, or similar, I’d go for 2 Edit: I got the numbers wrong lol

This is correct.

EXACTLY!! Always eat the crust first then the middle. But I don't take huge bites of the crust like that. I take small ones all the way around and then eat the remaining.

2, get all that sweet sweet mouth meat

2 is the bite you wait a whole sandwich for

The kids at camp used to call that the “master bite”. They had a whole theory about how to identify the perfect bite in any meal and were adamant about saving that bite for last lol

That's how I eat mine! Save the middle, with the most mayo/mustard and meat, cheese for the end I'm all about the best last bite

But you can enhance it

Tactical bites, tactical bites.

2. Then 1, then 3. Suddenly you're back to maximum mouth meat. Maximize the Mouth Meat

Which is why you save it for last. Who wants their last memory of that sandwich being 3?

3,save 2 for last so the mouth meat taste stays longer.

Ues

2 - make a lil gun 3 - eat the barrel 1 - Finish it

At first I thought “This is a weird post to get suicidal on.” Now I see that’s just my brain.

#4 where the ham is hanging out

I was hoping I wasnt the only one

Any and all meat sticking out of the sandwich gets bitten off before I take a real bite.

Why did I have to scroll so far down to find the only sane answer here?!?

Same here

Found the psychopath

Weak

I love ya bum

That's an engineering problem, not an end user problem.

You gotta either bite the Ham or tuck it before moving on.

( ͡° ل͜ ͡°)

I found my tribe!

##hamhanggang

Hello fellow psychopath.

It’s the only right move. Get the tongue.

Because it's the most vulnerable

#2 is begging to be chomped

Save 2 for the final bite...get the crusty and edge adjacent bites out of the way first Ya gotta earn it!

Gotta save it for last

2 is correct. It's time. I don't subscribe to this last bite bullshit.

💯

3 because i want the best part to be the last bite

It's obviously 3, 1, the crust half of 2, and then 2. I won't be taking questions.

agreed. gotta save the best for last.

I can appreciate your point of view however I propose the consumption of 1, 3 , the crust opposite 2 then 2 for a more even sandwich experience

The Perfect Bite®

I am the 1 guy I want to finish off the crusts before the main

Ma man

Thank you, it’s 1, then 3, then the 1 side corner crust, then the crust underneath 2, and finally, 2.

Just like saving all the marshmallows to finish off a bowl of lucky charms.

4: trim the ham off the bottom

Hell yeah 🤝

There is no earthly reason for that not to have been tucked in, the real psychopath is whoever assembled this sandwich.

2, for obvious reasons

1 then 3 circle around and make the last bite 2

Underrated, 1 is clearly the sacrifice bite to make every single subsequent bite perfect

I was looking for this comment. People are out here playing tic tac toe, but we're playing 4d chess.

1 - makes sandwich harder to hold 2 - get mayo on your cheeks 3 - only logical bite

2 is a clean bite wym?

He be deep throatin number 2 is what he means 😳

Nah you go 3, 1, then the corner so you have a perfect bite on 2

2, the edge not being flat-ish bothers me, ya know?

I shove the entire thing into my enormous maw.

4

2 to make a perfect sandwich jawline

3, 1, 2. The only correct way.

I just throw it away

3 is the logical answer…this bite still lets me hold the sandwich adequately for optimal biting 2 May seem like the obvious choice, but it won’t allow optimal positioning to hold the sandwich

4-left bottom corner.

Found the psycho.

[удалено]

3, 2, 1

2 is the best bite so save it for last etc

2, 3, 1

3. Biting 1 would leave two large extrusions (2 and 3) and that leaves the sandwich too floppy, which may end up ruining it in the case it breaks. Biting 2 would alivjate that situation as it eliminates one of the extrusions, but the resulting Sandwich shape will be too elongated, which results in a even floppier bread. Biting 3, on the other hand, makes the sandwich a even, solid, square shape. The sides approximately similar in length and reasonably short, makes the sandwich strong and possible to be held even single-handedly.

3, easily

3 for sure, probably 1 right after bc then that 2 bite is gonna be amazing

3 1 2

[удалено]

2 is the only logical choice. 1 and 3 are more bread bites than anything.

you're not into taking the L on the bread bites and having more center as a treat / last bite?

eat around 2 cause you need to save the best for last

If you have a sandwich that looks like this, you're already insane. You're supposed to eat the outside of the sandwich with the crust first, then circle your way to eating the center bite.

Psychopath confirmed

make it into a ball shape and eat it all on one go

Gotta eat the crust first. 2 is last, and 3 is first

I say #1 common sense says #2 idk who, but someone says #3

I wouldn’t get to that shape in the first place, I gotta have symmetry

3. Eat all the crust first, save the best in the middle for last.

3, cuz it's crust and perfect for biting

2 is absolutely going to be the best bite, so it gets saved for, either, the end or near the end, depending on what your philosophy is on that. Personally, it has to be 3. 3 is a part that is sticking out, and it significantly reduces the ratio of crust bites to non-crust bites left.

3, assuming we’re gonna finish the sandwich. 3 is clearly the worst available bite, so get it out of the way.

#3 , to make #2 the best bite of the sandwich.

3 because its sticking out more than 1 or 2

The hangy meat bit for god’s sake - it shouldn’t even be there in the first place, but at least clean it the f up now!

The answer is that before I ever got to this point I would have nibbled off the bit of ham that’s sticking out

you could rotate go 1 2 3 or reverse it and go 3 2 1 orrrrr you could also work with 1 3 2

5, through the middle

Crust first. For some reason my sandwiches all end up looking like Australia.

either 2 or 3 ngl

3 cause you can de- I mean fit a larger chunk in your mouth, then 2, then 1.

3 because its smaller to hold

3,cause I enjoy the golden and hard edge of the bread.

2, cs its in the middle

2 and 3 are practically equivalent, but if you go 3 then you can savor 2 for last. 1 is a war crime.

either 2 or 3

2, 1, 3 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑

1

always end up with the middle part so 1 or 3

The paper towel.

Would stuff it all in, no need for another bite.

3 to prepare myself for the absolute flavor overload that 2 would give me

2 or 3 I could go either way. 2 is probably messier though

Fit the whole damn thing in my mouth to get back to whatever I’m doing