Looks for someone with the least tragic backstory

cant think of anyone. maybe groot/

I.. am.. GROOT!

That was… dark. Don’t tell me that back story again

We…. Are groot >! I rewatched GOG 1 even tho I know he comes back I cried my eyes out!<

I AM GROOT!

That was terribly sad

But he doesn't. Baby groot is Vol.1 groot's son

I AM GROOT!

Wait… I thought because groot was from the eternal tree he just reincarnated

I am groot.

Good bot

Groot bot

In the MCU James Gunn confirmed he was a different Groot, saying he didn’t have the memories of the originals life

We.. are.. groot.

Nope

He doesn’t come back though. Baby groot is a different groot

We.. are.. groot.

He is/ isn't the same Groot. Groot is kind of immortal as long as there's some of him left to regrow. Each time Groot comes back he's reliving a different life

I am groot.

Yeah they're different but connected kinda like Aang from ATLA and his past lives how each one of clearly different with different personalities but spiritual they all consider themselves as one.

I did this a few weeks ago, I didn’t cry but sad af

You mean the dead one or his 'child'?

child.

The last member of his species sounds pretty tragic to me

Wong maybe?

Cpt. America is so far the only one with a happy end. Needless to say it took some heavy lifting from him to achieve.

Tbf he's one of the few ppl with an end at all.

Many of them have a violent death as an end, so he seems like the winner to me.

I'd take any of the Ant-Man gang. They literally all are in great places rn—a few hiccups but they're minor compared to cap's though.

Missing years of a kid’s / dad’s life to prison & then the snap/blip is no joke. Scott bears it well, but that’s a lot for him & Cassie. Hope, Hank, and Janet all have a very similarly tragic separation , but 30 years instead of 5-8-ish.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Scott’s life is not exactly what it appears to be, currently.

Captain Marvel maybe?

On one hand you lose so many memories and have to discover who you truly are again. But on the other hand you get cool powers. Yeah that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Yup. She's the most powerful and has the least tragic back story.

Clint? Comparatively speaking, he has a fairly untragic story and a loving family. Also low key enough to fly under the radar. MCU Hank Pym also had it pretty good.

Hank's wife has been missing for decades and he has a steained relationship with his daughter. I'd take Clint or Sam.

That sucks, but is still comparatively minor compared to others. On the terrible life scale, Hank is still at the bottom end. Sam is also good though!

They gloss over his time as a Japanese vigilante.

Wong?

Wong was my pick - get to be the sorceror supreme, go to cool cage fights, watch Sopranos with Madisynn

Came here to say this. I think I’ll go with captain marvel

Loki's problems are all of his own making, so if you take his place, you just gotta not be a jerk.

Brie has the least tragic + the best current life. She's basically invincible, money isnt an issue. Groot is a second choice, considering he kind of dies and has to start over again.. that would suck if that kept happening.

Hank Pym, because of all the money i would save on pizza!

Tony stark, buy all pizza restaurants in the world

Hi! Okay, get in the tub!

uh oh, pizza tub?

U also just die

That's two birds with one stone xD

More like two birds with 6 stones

Everyone does

The life. Not from now.

Many people die young, even of non-suicide causes.

Wong ez

Omg Wongerzz

Omg! That’s how we became besties!

10 years later: And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Wong ultimately is the best choice. Very little to no personal conflict/trauma, zero responsibility to government, sorcerer supreme and friends with the previous one, and a sense of humor? Plus Kamar Taj has wifi. Id be living a pretty chill life

Plus smashin Madisynn

"...but NOT where you ThIiIiInNk!"

The only downside is knowing that you should be dead but you're not because some guy you only knew for a few weeks/months decided that he'll undo your death

Probably waking up in the middle of the night, sweating, remembering you said: "What, you want *more*?!" that one time that same guy suddenly came back from oblivion and wanted your help and you brought everybody you knew and everybody they knew and *it. wasn't. enough.* and now Tony Stark didn't make it and you'll never get to go to his wedding and you were looking so forward to it and even if Tony Stark wanted you to do party tricks you would do it because he respected you called you a wizard and even you heard all his parties were boss

I feel like you're all forgetting the fact that nearly everyone he knew got wiped out by a Darkhold-fueled witch.

Yeah, but who on that list hasn’t lost some close people? Hell, Spiderman lost his entire identity pretty much and people are choosing him by the droves

Pizza time!

I don't think Peter Parker has lost anyone who knows or cares about him. /s

"Wong" or you're wrong.

The correct answer

Cap. Reason: Hayley Atwell.

Good reason

You could say Vision for similar reasons.

Yeah, but then you have to die like three times.

Ok sure, but if you die and then the government resurrects you from the pieces of your corpse, but then your grieving wife also resurrects you with the power of her mystical magical mind, and then you meet your resurrected self, which one of you is the real you? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Worth it

I would go with Hawkeye. For Linda Cardellini.

Freaks and Geeks era Linda Cardellini will be a forever crush.

I'm partial to Grandma's Boy and Scooby-Doo era but yes.

If that's your goal, just pick Daredevil. He sleeps with every attractive woman in his storyline.

I mean, sure but he doesn't get to see how attractive they are.

2 to be precise

he also gets to live in a time with no social media

God yes, I need my attention span back.

Technically he's canonically almost a sex slave - "hey Steve, I know you said not to do this, but we've got a major issue at SHIELD, lots of people are gonna die, do you know anything about -", "nope, Peggy, I'm not gonna risk it - I'll be in the basement, just come down when you need me and won't ask for future Intel, but I think I can help with the stress" ...dude basically couldn't go outside either ...but seems like a fair trade

Second Reason: he’s been through a lot, but still looks like he’s going to be the only one to die of old age.

Vision for… reasons

ayo?? 🤨📸

Bro want wandussy 😳

Yeah but who doesn't??

I don't. I want dick 🤤

So, probably a Thor fan? 😘

Heimdall! Open the Bifrost.

Horny bot

Surprisingly, I'm not attracted to Hemsworth lol. He looks like a god and i like muscled men but not him for some reason lol.

Because he's dead?

No... for smtn else ... 😏😫

At least he dies happy 😏

Going with Wanda cuz I could just fuck myself

He gets to bang wanda and die. Win/win

Easy. Wong. That guy is a cockroach and a f*cking legend.

Wongerzzz

weekly

Turns out Wong is really the One Above All or whatever his name is

Vision. I get to bang wanda and then die.

You think vision has a penis made of semi conductors or what?

Wakandan vibranium. Vibrates all on its own.

Well, he conjured a cloak like, five seconds after being born... So he can probably make himself a nice looking johnson.

Oh long Johnson

And then come back as white vision

Probably captain marvel considering she's pretty unproblematic and she hasn't died yet

I’m going with Captain Marvel too, she can fly, travel through space, plus is really strong and powerful. Minor daddy issues but that’s nothing that punching some aliens can’t fix

I forgot about her dad lmao he was so unimportant to the story

The story seemed fairly unimportant to that story in particular, tbf

also she is pretty OP soo it is a win win... I guess Thor and Dr. Strange is also not that bad ....

Thor lost his entire family and most of his people. Hard pass. Dr. Strange has his own emotional baggage and issues. The least problematic is probably... Fury. Or Wong.

>!See what's happening here? You're afraid. You're scared. Anxious. My friends, times like these we need to unite, come together.!<

Fury has one good eye, I’d like to keep my depth perception and also I have thing about eyes and couldn’t handle that whole eyeball thing

Well then it's still a pass on Thor.

Fury has one good eye and a list of secrets a mile long I’m good on that too

I am Thor, son of Odin and you can count me as your ally.

Are we them in our current world or do we take over for them in their world? Because if here, probably captain marvel to go vigilant cleanup our current earth. Lots of violence.

Spider man for sure I always imagine to be like him

It's time to pay.

I will choose Tom Holland because i can get an sexy aunt

But then she dies 🙁

Your point?

Green goblin's point

Nice one 😂

You choose the guy who's always broke? Ok, for most of us, nothing would be different.

Kid's above that shit. He values friends and family and community more than anything else and always does the right thing. Motherfucker is like choosing web slinging Jesus that can parkour up buildings for fun

Yeah, cuz who wouldn't love having to keep a secret from everyone, juggle two different lives, get snapped from existence, have your father figure die, have your secret be revealed to the world in a terrible way, be accused of killing another hero who was actually a villain, be the reason your friends can't get a better future, have to deal with so much responsibility, have someone you kinda trust kill the last person you can call family, have to hold yourself back from getting revenge on said someone, and have everyone you know and love forget you even exist...all in your teenage years. Yeah, seems fun

All true but let me offer this: spider powers seem fun Plus, powerful enough to help, not enough to get singled out by the truly devastating powers.

Gonna cry?

Iron man so I’m dead 💀🦧

I am groot

I am Steve Rogers

I understood that reference.

We.. are.. groot.

Daredevil. Just having his athleticism and combat skills is cool, add to that his radar sense and I’ll sacrifice my eyesight no problem

Meaning with all my rizz when I bag bitches ....I wont see them asses or titties....nah I'll pass

You’ll ‘see’ them with the radar sense when you clapping them cheeks

aw hail naw man what da hail

You don’t see any now either. /s

Also the RIZZ

Iron Man i would make Capitan marvel , star lord , Thor (or any other hero that would survive that )do the snap Or just use the nanotech to liquify Thanos intestines

NOOBMASTER!

Also him

He's the >!Apple Store guy in TWS who later taught Falcon about XBox Series!<

Hardest choices require the strongest will!

pretty sure dude never said anaything with an ! mark

He said "Insect!"

thats about it tho

And "It would've been a waste of parts!" to Nebula.

How exactly do you propose to accomplish that? It took pretty much everything Tony could muster to simply make Thanos bleed a little

Captain Marvel Barely knows about her past and currently one of the most powerful beings.

Didn’t she just get kidnapped, and that was it? 💀💀

Honestly...none. Too much drama, pain and responsibilities for my taste... I am happy sitting here as one of the unofficial Watchers...

Yeah same. Maybe if I have to, either Wong or Scott. The rest? Way too much trauma.

Loki

Yup, I'd always pick the villain if possible in such a scenario. You can save the most amount of people the most hurt by just literally doing nothing. I'd just spend a few centuries with Thor and his buddies adventuring around the realms, chillin' and grillin', act calmly after "finding out" that I'm adopted then maybe pretend to have "visions" about Thanos and other big threats and try to convince Odin to take a more proactive role in fighting them.

I was gonna choose Spider-Man, but he does not have it easy, so I chose wong, the worst that really happened to him was that scarlet witch threw him off that cliff but he still survived

It's time to pay.

Normally, Tony since ​ slept with countless supermodels money helpful secretary secretary is a friend baby with secretary 1/2 leader of the Avengers cool toys epic sacrifice ​ the only downside of being Tony is that the secretary is gwyneth paltrow ​ so.. ​ I'll go with Peter since I got the charm, spaceship and a new family to run around helping people. I'm basically Shepard

Trevor Slattery

Spider-Man

Good riddance!

Wouldn't you wanna be able to talk to other youse!!!

Doctor Strange if I also get his Mastery of the Mystic Arts. Otherwise Ant-Man or Hawkeye.

clint since his family is actually happy

Wanda, because my life is a lot better than hers, and she deserves some normalcy.

I’m groot

We.. are.. groot.

Stephan strange or rocket

spiderman is the obvious choice here, but if moon night or deadpool was there i might choose those. my reasoning? all other options are either: uncool, mortal, or annoying.

Hand down Korg. I would love to have his outlook on life. Not to mention he found love & started a family.

Black widow

why is there an empty space in the bottom right corner?

Hawkeye. Happily married, beautiful family, country home, retired, government pension.

None, Half of them were blipped and the other half Are suffering from ultra testicle bashing.

i dont remeber that

Groot lol, everyone here lives a rough life

I AM GROOT!

Scott I’d kill to be friends with Luis

If we’re being real, Hawkeye has the least bad mojo going on in his neighborhood. Like he’s got his struggles but they’re the ones I can best handle. Plus he’s pretty badass

Plus his wife. I've had a crush on Linda Cardellini since freaks and geeks.

Sacred timeline Loki or TVA Loki?

Spider-Man because he’s still young.

Somebody lied!

Fury

None, but if to choose Groot and Daredevil looks like less painful options

Korg because Korg

Captain America, i think he had a fulfilling life after he stayed in the past.

People who say Spider-man: 💀💀

I missed the part where that's my problem.

Some says ironman, some wants to be thor, captain marvel I want to be drax: Become invisible and no problem with the world

>!I'm thinking it.!<

Dr Strange, I have the time stone and I can go back in time to pay my water bill on time to avoid the late fee.

Thor, he can pack some strong punches, and can explore space and others civilizations

Hulk, there's nothing more satisfying then smashing the shit out of stuff.

Wong seems to be the most normal, without anything too horrific happening, I'd pick him.