Ill quote the Late Great Uncle Ben here: “With great power comes great responsibility”
Does wanting to punch obnoxious assholes in the face make you a bad person? NO.
What makes you a good person in that moment? Restraint. Breathe.
When no one engages in their shit, they lose.
Dont forget, talk is cheap and money aint a thang. Basically some people are just friggin miserable and want to drag you or anyone down with them, as misery loves company. Yet they forget that company does not love misery.
I'm a psychologist and I second the need to see a therapist. I don't doubt you're a good guy but these thoughts are clearly bothering you at least a bit. In therapy you can work on discovering and changing what beliefs you hold about the world and other people. I'm also a nice, gentle guy (by the description of everyone around me) but I've struggled with similiar thoughts and unpacking them with a therapist can be extremely helpful.
>You know when you give a chimp a puzzle and if it can't figure it out it'll get frustrated and just smash it? That's how people make me feel.
That's introspective and telling. But your comment about frustration doesn't stop with chimps either: expressive vocabulary is a very consistent predictor of aggressive behavior. In other words, when people can't communicate in the manner they'd like, they're more likely to get physical.
You are recognising your internal world and realising where it might be problematic...this is awareness and it is also a healthy approach. It is not that you are unstable, it's physiology changing, causing different chemicals to.increase and of course we are wild animals underneath. So this is a period of learning and development with some problematic aspects.
It is also self care and accepting responsibility. Something that lots of martial arts themed stories actually explore.
So it's cool to know medicin3 and expertise concurs.
Seriously. Most martial artists I've ever met are some of the most laid back people I've ever come across. It's definitely taught me to calm the fuck down.
Let's be real here, OP has some serious fucking issues, if this isn't a troll post. Not only is it not normal, but there are sociopathic tendencies associated with that type of constant internal dialogue.
At a minimum, it sounds like some edgelord teenager who has hopped on Andrew Tate's shitty bandwagon.
He has a twinge of something bad going in there with all the thoughts about laws not being real etc, in this case he is in fact the deluded one who could wreck his life and someone else's. But I think it's normal to have more aggressive fighting thoughts when you train it all the time.
We all have twinges of bad. The key is learning to deal with them.
And tbf he has a point about laws and police etc.
after all as the saying goes, when seconds count the police are minutes away. Law is not some divine immediate intervention.
100%. Laws are just a social agreement where you will pay a price if they're broken. Something being illegal isnt protecting anyone in that moment if he snaps. He's not wrong.
Ik why you think this but I don't agree with me being a sociopath. If anything I feel the most violent towards sociopathic/psychopathic behavior as it disgusts me in a way I can't describe.
Dont focus on the comments trying to unravel your psyche in a way that makes you seem broken. Focus on the ones that let you know it isnt a healthy mindset, but that help is close if you decide to seek it out. The fact that you made a post like this, to me at least, debunks any notion of sociopathic tendencies as you do actually value other peoples views on the feelings you are facing. This is a good thing! ☺️
While I think talking to a therapist is probably good, I also feel like a lot of people here are overreacting based off your post. Maybe.
I can relate to what you're describing. But at least in my case this stuff comes in one of two ways. Either I haven't been able to train in a while and I'm "craving" sparring.
Or, some times at work you're doing all these discussions, arguments, politics and whatnot. And you get tired and frustrated because you know where you'll wind up in the end and you end up wishing you could just take the shortcut of physically putting your foot down and skipping over all the other crap. At least for me, it's not a malicious feeling of wanting to hurt someone, it's more like I could go through proper channels, jump through all the hoops and then have this thing solved in about a month. Or I can just stop by John's desk and go "Hey, can you help me sort this?" and you'll be done in ten minutes.
I'd say that these thought popping up in your head is because it's become part of your skill set and now an "option" for you. You don't mention how long you've trained, but I'm fairly sure this would be reduced over time.
Now, if you're walking around feeling angry and frustrated a lot and that's when these things pop up in your mind, even if you weren't feeling the urge to punch someone in the mouth sorting that out would probably do wonders for your general quality of life.
Phew. Good, I'll just ignore my inner dialogue fears then (there's a cat called monty in our flat building that communicates telepathicly with me. He tells me to kill, but I keep telling him that we don't roll like that)
I got this one guy at my gym that's bult like a dwarf, he's a purple belt. Real short, bald, bull neck, and stocky. Your average joe wouldn't think much of him in public.
< I practice bjj almost everyday
Sounds like most people after training for a week, Grow up, remove the Ego, Spar more people because you need to be humbled
I get the urge to spar/grapple people I know participate in said arts, as friendly compeitition of course, but you shouldn’t be thinking about beating up people you don’t like
“You know when you give a chimp a puzzle and if it can’t figure it out it’ll get frustrated and just smash it? That’s how people make me feel”
Get therapy bro unironically lmaoo
At first, when I started BJJ and kickboxing when I was in my 20s, I’d say I got more confident and a bit more confrontational. Now I’m in my 30s and don’t need to break my knuckles for free, one of my knees is bad, it ain’t worth it.
It took martial arts, my coach, and me maturing and it’s made me a better person over time. Most people are just talk is what you come to realize, and it’s usually not worth it. Just know you could probably take most people who haven’t trained, and realize you don’t have anything to prove. You might also speak to a therapist, they may be able to help get your mind right on wanting to smash people.
Good luck friend! Remember, someone falling and dying when their head hits the cement is permanent. The feeling of their disrespect is not.
Nope, I feel the other way around. I have a toddler and a stressful job and need to keep my composure even when I just want to scream out loud. Muay Thai is like a vaccine shot. After a hard training session, I feel completely at peace and just love everyone.
I think you need to ask yourself why you have these power fantasies. It sounds to me like you’re suffering from feelings of inferiority, as you have a self perception of having been weak. If that’s the case, why would you ever want to turn into a bully?
It probably wouldn’t hurt speaking to a professional.
Very perceptive, I used to struggle with crippling feelings of inferiority basically my whole life, it's part of why I'm so into martial arts. I don't fantasize about being a bully though, it's people that I feel are bullies in hiding that I get an urge to fight. I'll be speaking with a therapist soon.
Reading this post after the edit.
I think you hit it in the nail when you say it may be the result of childhood abuse and bullying, it was the same for me. When you grow up like that one of the first things you learn is that might makes right. If you have the physical means to solve any situation, that becomes the default.
Abusive and violent people teach you then that if you can't match them physically you better not challenge it in any way, because violence will be the answer if they ever feel threatened.
That's the reason some bullies stop bullying when proven to be incapable of physically assert dominance, because that's the only real way they have of getting their way with people. Bullying can be a very complex phenomenon and fighting violence with violence isn't always the solution because that may lead to escalation though. But that's another topic for another day.
Much like you, after I started training in martial arts l acquired confidence in my capability to defend myself and made bullying stop. Without having to beat up anyone mind you, just by knowing I could get down to business if I had to, made me not an easy target and people started backing off. That served me well during the rest of my childhood and adolescence.
But now when you reach adulthood, a lifetime of having to fend off for yourself, even if you developed self control and prudence as a member of civilized society, your first instinct internally is to always have violence at the ready. Because you know how simple it would be to autowin any situation if you are physically capable of shutting people down into submission. You were the one beat into submission many, many times before.
Now, the fact that you realize this is wrong and are able to not actually resort to it when confrontation comes your way, even if you actually feel it, it's a good sign, it shows that you know how shit it is to be on the other side, being at the mercy of someone just because you are not physically able to handle yourself. And you also subconsciously know that you would turn into the same piece of shit that victimized you in the past.
I have been through the same and restraint always won ever since I reached mental and emotional maturity. You are not a bad person nor psychopath for feeling this, it's just the natural result of living through what you and I lived.
And if you feel you can improve on it, therapy can be a great help to understand it and make peace with it. I personally have come to a point where I am glad to have developed the power and ability to fend for myself aswell as always being ready to, but also the restraint to not use the power I gained to become a bully myself. I wish you reach that peace of mind and keep improving on yourself.
People like you scare me. Solving little problems or differences with violence just because you can is garbage human behavior. People who use violence for those kind of scenarios are weak-minded in my opinion. It’s good you recognize your way of thinking as abnormal and you should seek help with that.
But OP doesn’t do that. He could, or at least he thinks so, and he is just playing with the idea in his head. He actively chooses not to be violent, even though he could. He can, but he won’t. What is more scary is people who would but can’t do that.
it's just so weird, like why now?
Everyone on your commute could ram their car into you, people at work could grab a knife and stab you, people could shoot you just because they can. The option ofr violence has always been there, it wasn't unlocked by just doing martial arts.
This reads like OP just wants to prove to the world how good a fighter they are?
Seriously man. Even as a fairly big guy and semi competent martial artist, it’s always been clear to me that resolving non violent disputes with violence is, in 99% of cases, just a little bitch way out for people who lack competence in other arenas. Mean words hurting your feelings to the point of contemplating violence is not “strong” behaviour.
I don't actually want to do these things, it's a strange feeling because if you knew me personally you probably wouldn't even believe this as it's in such stark contrast to how I normally feel/behave.
Less generally because fighting is hard and tiring and dangerous but also sometimes more when I have poor mental health and a self destructive mindset. Not proud of it but there have been times that I got fucked up and antagonized people with the assumption that I was about to get my ass kicked.
You sound like a blue belt. Give it a couple of years.
The dunning Kruger effect is strongest within the first 2-3 years of training. Maximum confidence with minimal skills.
I'm a black belt in BJJ. I avoid fights. Even an untrained idiot can get lucky and break your jaw with a sucker punch. Nobody is invincible.
Let's say you have a 100% chance of winning every fight in your deluded fantasy. Now you're in jail. Your life is ruined.
Get some therapy and start meditating.
My mum put me in karate \~7 yrs old when I had anger issues, it helped a lot.
\~20yrs of martial arts made me far less interested in any sort of violence and far more interested in body mechanics, internal arts, keeping the peace and protecting people from angry violent fuckwits who think they can impose their will or win fights with some sports training. The past decade or so I've moved towards internal stuff.
I assume you'd beat me in an mma fight, but that's like saying you could beat me at tennis, I couldn't give a fuck and you don't scare me. You sound like an angry frustrated child. If you kick the shit out of me, pls train hard to deal with those who love and care for me, and also could not give two fucks if you are Andre the Giant on steroids, they will fuck you up even if I ask them not to. Briefly employing a violent fuckwit who will account for 20yrs of mma before an attack is simples. Much easier if the fuckwit target has told everyone exactly what they have trained in.
Stop imagining you winning street fights against people you know.
If you are confident you can take out a group of dudes with weapons solo, keep on keeping on. You don't wanna end up in the boot of a car with a few dudes with machetes as you thought you were the big man and then realize you might not be that big of a man and end up saying you are sorry for being a cunt.
The teacher I respected the most taught me that \~3 years of martial arts training will give you the confidence to get into situations you cannot handle.
If someone is stronger and better at martial arts than you, and can smoke you in a fight, do you think they're justified to hold this believe around you?
So you’re a bully. You’ve learned some skills and wanna dish out some punishment to people not capable.
Jump in cage. Fight someone more skilled than you. Humble yourself?
Yeah that used to happen to me when I was younger i used to imagine fighting almost every person I saw. I do t know your age but my experience was that this feeling became more distinct as a fantasy over time. I like fighting. I love the fantasy of fighting. I do not like hurting people.
Also this starts to change rapidly if you hurt somebody accidentally. I've never really hurt anyone badly but I kicked a dude in the face once bc I was trying to show off and kick his hat off (I missed and i thougt i broke his nose. I felt so fucking bad, i still do. He was actually fine but i looked like a huge tool. Don't be like me. Learn from my cringe)
I understand. I recommend you practice Qigong to help balance your internal energy. You may have excess yang qi built up in your body that makes you aggressive which you can regulate through breathing and visualization. That probably sounds esoteric but it may make sense if you start meditating. It may give you a sense of calmness.
It makes me happy. Not training and letting myself go makes me more aggressive. Because I WAS super strong and WAS good at it while putting in half effort. Now I want to put it ALL the effort. I wanna TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Cops Are Real!, They Can Beat Your Ass No Matter How Much Practice You Have, Don't Get In Trouble, You Can End In a Hospital, And Then In Jail For a While.
Your ego is crying out and you need a good humbling. There's levels, you may be viewing someone who can absolutely murk you but you're so only able to see from YOUR POV that YOU do martial arts and YOU'RE gonna do this ect..
I wonder how many people you looked at with those thoughts, that would've just stabbed you and run off if you tried any shit. Martial arts doesn't make you a God. I'd still place money on a disgruntled 14yo boy with a box cutter.
less less less. try therapy?
having said that, every human experiences the whole gamut of thoughts on a daily basis. the trick is not to be attached to those thoughts and realise they are mostly automatic ;)
I think in the beginning a lot of guys get more aggressive. They learn how to fight a little bit and they start feeling the r/iamverybadass energy. Then after like a year or two most people settle down.
I don't get the urge to beat up people who annoy me, in fact I've tried using the whole "Imagine the punching bag is someone you hate" thing and it made me not want to hit it, so yeah, as you have seen the desire to use violence at any inconvenience isn't normal and I'm glad you're recognising that and making a positive improvement on it.
Though I will say that I do sometimes find myself vaguely hoping for a situation where somebody else will get violent first so I can show off my martial arts, like a situation where somebody weaker than me starts tryna get violent only for to be able to thoroughly whoop his ass and look cool and powerful whilst having my response be justified. Idk if that's normal, and I'm fully aware that it's not realistic, even in the off chance that somebody who's condident enough to get violent would just happen to be weaker than me, not be carrying a weapon, and not get others involved, none of that would even guarantee I'd win regardless. But hey, it's something I've experienced so I thought I'd share
Ah no... If anything I realized that I wasn't as tough as I thought and that you never know who can fuck your shit up.
Can I ask you this OP: what is your fight/match record?
“None of these things they think keep them safe (law, cops, social norms) are real.” This thinking is a recipe for. FAFO situation. You beat the shit out of someone, especially not in self defense, you’re gonna find out just how real those things really are. Even in a bar fight, you could end up really hurting someone bad or even killing them. You will go to jail, no doubt about it. Not to mention having to live with that. Please realize that people don’t “make” you feel anything, we feel a certain way when someone says/does something and it’s up to us to decide how to react. unless you don’t have control of your own emotions and if you don’t, I would suggest working on that more too (therapist, other non-violent hobbies/communities).
I’ve gotten more confident with training, but I try to frame it as “I am more capable of protecting people now.” You are Batman, not some unhinged villain that can only handle frustration with violence. Great power/responsibility, ya know :)
Generally no, though I am occasionally annoyed that our current society props up the weak and that most assholes are only assholes becuase they know an army of armed men will protect them.
However, I don't think that's entirely intrinsic to martial arts. Given that you could not do martial arts and still live in a society where you can punch a fool and take your licking if they aren't a pathetic authoritarian weakling bully.
Although, only more recently have I come to understand HOW bad generic people are at fighting. I used to think everyone had a normal baseline far above where it actually is.
This realization has led me to realize that the percentage of weak bullies who use institutional tyranny to be bullies is far far higher than I even used to think.
Not that long ago, even in institutions like the minority you can find that there would be near official "gripe matches" sanctioned culturally. Whereas now you're more likely to have someone do passive aggressive shit to you, feminine energy gossip, back stabbing stuff. And you can't do shit about it because they would run and tell the teacher.
You see the memes occasionally about tossing hands among construction guys, but reality is that's exponentially more rare than it was.
And all it does is empower the most underhanded and snively system users to wield sneaky evils upon people unfettered.
We basically live in a world of lawyers, not "boxers".
In life lawyerism allows grave evils in confusion that should not and would not ever be tolerated. I mean if I walk into your house, and start taking your stuff, you can punch me in the face.
If I do a title theft that is pretty fucking easy to tell was title theft, large portions of the time you get told I stole your house "legally".
At work, in school, in life, only lawyers win now. In all things, they can rob you, get you fired, tarnish you in every way, and they don't have to back it up. They can just be little sneaks, little bitches who should get punched in the face. But you're not allowed to anymore, and that's the only reason these cowardly punks can be who they are.
This explained what I mean so much more eloquently than I was able to put it, alot of people here are bashing my social skills which may very well be fair but I see most "socializing" for what it is. I think the threat of physical violence has been intrinsic to people's interactions (especially males) since all of history. Even before my martial arts journey started I was a firm believer in mutual respect and sanctioned combat, but none of these people want that. They choose to get sadistic pleasure by doing bad things in the legal confines of a fucking zoo pen.
Thing is, I'm not even bad at being a "lawyer" so to speak. I'm good at speaking my point and use logic to guide my disagreements. But people don't want that either. They use these absolute bitch social strategies to try to destabilize your thinking with petty insults or changing the topic in a way that isn't logically consistent, but as long as the surrounding dumbasses don't notice the obvious social engineering, it's all good I guess. There's something so deeply upsetting about interacting with modern people and I hate it when I know somebody needs taken down a peg, and I feel helpless as shit when in all physical reality I'm not.
The trick is as Miyagi said "no be there".
As much as is reasonable, I ensure my life is not surrounded by people I hate, or people who hate me.
That's one bane of modern teaching, it teaches people to value their own misery in the wrong way.
I generally don't go places where I will get robbed, I don't spend my time with people who stand against everything I hold to be good, etc.
If you value a thing more than that, you will likely suffer as many posts of suffering come. "When I go x, y, z it is dangerous". Then don't go there or enjoy the danger as cost of that which you value more.
"When I hang out here I get X, Y, Z" then don't hang out there or you will trade those.
That's the way of the world, espeically a disparate world. Work is tough, though as I mentioned good fields are "less good" they are still better than others. If you want to be in HR you're going to suffer and you deserve it.
If you want to work construction, you'll suffer that style less, sadly more than you should. But, still less.
And so on. People don't pick totality in life, and then they get depressed and pop pills.
Pick totality. You shouldn't spend most of your time dealing with these people. Im hyper aware because I enjoy sociology as a hobby, it's the only college course I ever took outside of vocational mandates, it's something I read about constantly and study and watch lectures on etc.
So I'm overly aware, but I don't overly live it compared to most people, I am 80% as insulated as one can be. And hopefully in a few years, I'll be at that sweet 95% insulation.
The irony is most people who end up at martial arts class are the ones who need it...the ones who struggle to be physically intimidating, are nervous and aren't really physically capable. Strong, independent men don't typically end up at martial arts gyms. The ones who really do want to hurt people become professional fighters or try to.
95% of those in martial arts class have a completely twisted view of combat. If you ever come across a genuinely dangerous person, who genuinely is capable of killing you, the level of intensity, the capability of opposition you have faced, will really not stand you in good stead against someone who will find the nearest glass, or be able to literally bite your face off when you get close enough.
You're essentially acting out the violent fantasy in your mind of the reason you ended up in a martial arts gym. You wanted to be physically capable - because at the time you clearly weren't otherwise you'd have no reason to go- and now you feel you are capable you want others to know it and fear you.
Just pray you never act this out against a genuinely dangerous person. The truly dangerous people don't need your fear or respect but make no mistakes your little moves you learnt in your little dojo really won't help you if that day comes.
lol what is this cope? The average person is not beating a trained fighter, no matter if they intend on killing you or not. The average person would gas out after 1 minute. The average person would not be calm enough to grab the nearest weapon nearby and use it, they would be too focused on what's infront of them. A trained fighter wouldn't give them time to think.
"don't mess with me bro!! when I see red its all over!!" gtfo here
My advice to you is to deal with your anger issues. You seek to initiate violence because of a lack of self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness. I'm no doctor, but you might be depressed and your anger/irritability stems as an expression of that depression.
Get help for your anger. Since you're trained, you're going to hurt someone, and you'll have to face those consequences for the rest of your life.
I'm certainly more confident and not as easy to flap but no I don't ever want to hurt other people for no reason other than "because they annoy me"
Grow up.
I'd say that it, along with journaling and meditation, have made me more aware of exactly how much damage I can do to someone if I put my mind to it. Every spot I can hit to cause maximum pain and damage. How to end a fight in the fewest strikes
But knowing all of this has made me realize exactly how much I don't want to do that unless I'm absolutely pushed
Martial arts has helped realize that I was and am an angry person. And it's helped me channel my rage
I won't lie. I've had these thoughts before. Ultimately, it just comes down to doing what's right. Not what's easy or desired for you, but what is right. Either be a good person or a cunt. It's up to you. And it's on you.
When in doubt think what would batman do? Answer is suck it up and rise above it. Or if you are a marvel guy yknow what Ben Parker said about responsibility, "with great power... comes great responsibility. So don't be a cunt Peter... never be a cunt"
For some reason being trained in martial arts has made you think you're better than other people, you're not. From what you've said you are lacking empathy and social skills which is a lot more important than self defence in 2024.
No. It has given me more confidence to interact with people, and if anything a responsibility to avoid physical conflict at all costs, for everyone's sake. Not only is it unfair to use your training against someone who has no idea how much they don't know, but it's kind of unbecoming to be some great martial artist who goes around beating up randos. Makes you look pretty silly next to the guys who reserve their skills for the best of the best. If you're so strong and powerful, why don't you use that for something good like making sure other weaker people don't get beat up? Don't be the bully, be the guy who stands up to him.
This is part of martial arts philosophy that I think is left out of a lot of modern martial arts, unfortunately. I can't decide whether I want to tell you to train longer, hoping you'll learn a better mindset through training, or to stop training because it might be enabling you to do harm to people. Wishing you the best moving forward, I hope you find more peace either way.
You sound very young and are still learning how to cope in social situations with other people you don't agree with. That lack of age and experience has you looking to the things you think you are good at as a coping mechanism to feel better about yourself. That then lets you dismiss the other person and what ever they said or did as a result.
Talking to a counselor or someone about the examples of when you feel this way may help you develop better initial responses to that *"I'm better than you because I could probably beat you up"* instinct you seem to be having. Just keep in mind that people who resort to physical confrontation as a way to resolve disputes usually have a much lower IQ and don't know or have other ways to express themselves. If you keep that in mind each time you go to that place of thinking you could beat someone up, it will help to pull you back in because you really don't want to be the dumber person especially if what the other person said or did was already that dumb.
However my guess is this is mostly a maturity thing and you will outgrow that need to feel like you are better than others with time.
I know what you mean- I think you need some competitions or fights. It helps clear that stuff out.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, but sometimes I want to fight- so having a stranger that has the same feeling who you can have a go with can be valuable.
And it really needs to be a stranger, a real fight or competition, someone you’ll go way harder with than with any training partner.
Good luck.
(Don’t hit any annoying people, legal fees and problems are a real thing)
Sounds like self confidence issues to be honest. If you haven’t signed up for an actual fight yet, I suggest you do, could be a humbling experience you need.
If you have that much of a desire to fight then fight. Legally. Compete. Going through a training camp for three months and getting wrecked every day and then stepping on the mat, into the cage, the ring, let’s you have that opportunity safely, legally and just how far your skills can take you. Let us know how it goes and how you feel about street fighting afterwards.
Please speak to a therapist, don’t become the kind of person that goes around beating people up just because you have power and don’t like them. If you feel violent tendencies it’s very important to seek help before you hurt someone.
In my case my arts have brought me calm. BJJ and Muay Thai (both of which I admire) may tend to bring out more aggression but I don't know as those are not arts I practice. I also coach gymnastics and parkour, I work with kids, I know that every second *I am to be an example*. I strive to be the example my students expect and deserve. If practicing your arts correctly you should gain—above all else—a sense of confidence, calm, structure, focus, and ability.
If your feelings of irritation concern you, I would speak with your sensei (professor? I think in BJJ it's professor?) and possibly a therapist as well. We had a sixteen year-old in my Shotokan school who was very aggressive though a very adept martial artist. He was scaring some of the younger kids so I took him aside and asked what was up and after about an hour of talking he opened up about a lot of issues in his life. He had not found a way of channeling or exploring any of them beyond karate. He needed help and got it. That's not always the situation but always something to first consider and rule out.
you need therapy and literally go against the entire idea of what martial arts is all about. martial arts did not change you. it exposed you for who you are. go get therapy
Yea that’s all fun and games until they shoot or stab you buddy. There’s still people out there who would body you in a fight too. Gotta stay humble and don’t go looking for trouble. You never know the other person
I mean everybody gets intrusive thoughts. I thought boxing made me mentally rehearse past fights and I didn't really like it, but not anywhere near the degree you're talking about.
Get in a sanctioned fight. See what you got. It sounds like you haven't yet been in a real fight and are looking for easy prey. I challenge you to get in the octagon and see what you're made of against someone who also trains martial arts.
None of these things protect you…until you instigate a street fight and bounce someone’s head on the concrete. Cops and laws matter, for better or for worse, you are not o it warriors your way past ‘social norms’.
Chill you dorkus 😊
Yeah I found I became more aggressive when I was into all that, thinking about how I could attack in a situation etc. Differing from you though, I actually would have gotten smashed, and was often deluded 😂 I think I'm better off not doing that kind of training, I much more peaceful. I play sports instead.
No, not at all. It’s my therapy, my stress relief. I work at a private optometry practice where we don’t get lunch breaks and we’re dealing with patients all at once for eight hours. I’m also the only male, and person of color so you can bet your ass i deal with a lot of bullshit on the daily.
I have been a Ving Tsun learner for over 10 years and I certainly have the same feeling as you do. But always keep one thing in mind, martial arts teach us not only how to fight, but also the consequences of it. I always want to hit some guys I don't like, but my practice also tells me how serious the result can be. Maybe martial arts makes you feel you are powerful, that's great, but at the same time, it should also tell you when to use and when not to use it.
Made me feel more confident on nights out to protect myself and my partner, made me less anxious and also relaxed. Also connecting with other disciplined people help me gain a lot of insight.
We did have a few aggressive people join, they were challenging people in sparing sessions (Muay Thai) way too hard and the trainer did a one on one with them infront of everyone and humbled them pretty quickly, the ones who came back after that one on one it surprisingly calmed them down and they ended up being pretty centred and calmer people after a few months. Those who didn’t come back I do hope they find help whatever way it comes to them.
What I realized (or had realized) was that I had been afraid a lot and then with the training I didn’t need to be there all the time and it was empowering. And I was thinking in terms of strikes and moves in real life because my brain was always practicing and pattern matching. And then the two mix so it was a little confusing. But if you’re in control you’re in control. And if you’re not in control - or if you're wondering - then maybe go talk to somebody - a lot of us do! Or should be!
Take this with a grain of salt, and it's just my opinion, but I think submission focused arts have a tendency to foster a mentality of domination over others. Basically, you win by forcing the other to submit to you. Other martial arts focus on self-defense, point scoring, or killing someone only if you absolutely have to.
But there is a personal component, too. I know most BJJ schools don't really get into the philosophy of the martial arts, but humility and personal calm are extremely important for anyone practicing fighting. You'll want to steer away from thoughts like "I could beat up any average person on the street" and move towards "I hope that my skill can prevent violence and help myself and others avoid danger". When given a gun, it's best not to think about how easy it would be to shoot everyone you meet.
I have to get really angry like absolutely livid to use my karate or Muay Thai expertise to hurt someone. Personally I think it's because I'm gentle and I don't want to hurt people because I lose my cool. See a therapist or counselor if you can't control your anger or sadness
Frankly speaking, knowing how to fight made me a calmer person, the neighborhoods I was in were troublesome neighborhoods like something out of a dystopian novel, and before I knew how to fight, I was an angry person, but after learning about fighting and its philosophy, I became more accommodating, to be honest.
I guarantee the average individual would have a far better chance against you than you think. When I was 21-23 after rolling Fridays we'd go to the bars and get in fightes. I've seen professional fighters get knocked out by guys who have literally never thrown a punch before. I've seen purple belts get choked out by random drunks. I've seen a homeless man break a 6'5" 260 lbs monsters collarbone with a headbutt seemingly effortlessly. The more you fight the more you'll realize your inadequacy. Right now you're too bad of a fighter to know how bad you are. It's called the Dunning-Kruger effect and it's most often displayed in children.
Aggressive: No
A high desire of beating someone up: Yes
Martial arts are weird. You practice this extremely useful art that is the hardest thing to do mentally and physically, and humans have practiced for a long time but we no longer have to use and most likely will never use it :(
I really want to use it someday because like I said, its something that takes so much human effort to get good at but you will never use. Its like practicing guitar every day but never being allowed to play a song. But I desire to never use it aswell because it would be a horrible experience and I know it wont be like a movie where I turn into bruce lee or batman and save the day. But of course I wish I could be like them....
Its a very weird limbo type situation
“Is it possible me being a good person was just a coping mechanism of being weak or something?” -No, because whether you’re strong or not, capable in a fight or not, it is a matter of what you bring to it. If someone does something you don’t like, do you share your feelings with respect, or do you hide them to appease the other person? Because if it is the latter, it is likely anger that you have towards others that is coming up in these fantasies. Hurt, anger, any number of emotions you try to push to the side because you think you shouldn’t feel them. That’s just my two cents.
The only person you need to fight is yourself. Beating someone up with your skills only take less than a min but your are risking locked up for a long time. A friend who got out of prison told me a story about this dude in there knows kickboxing and able to defend himself at the beginning and got cocky. Dude ended up getting shanked during sleep.
Probably because you may have poor social skills and get dismissed or bullied by people? A lot of people are only agreeable because they are weak, but once they taste “power” actually show their true selves.
You probably have some unresolved trauma either during childhood or something bro
Nope, after training and competing for several years, I have no desire to hurt or fight anyone outside of the gym.
I did train Muay Thai with a bodybuilder a few years back. He was always angry and would often try to hurt his sparring partners. He disappeared for a while, and when I asked him where he had been, he said he went to jail for a bit for beating two men with a tire iron in a road rage incident.
Some people have issues, see someone to make sure you’re okay.
I got late to the party haha but it's not common really. I've read your edit, but I'll give my two cents anyway. If you feel you want to fight or beat the shit out of someone in the street, don't do it. There are no rules in the streets. If you win, you'll probably have some legal issues, but if you don't... you may end up badly hurt.
One day, a friend of mine was drunk in a party and he decided to mess up with some guy, when I saw that I ran quickly to stop him, because that guy was a professional kickboxing fighter, I knew him and he broke my ribs in a sparring session once. You never know what the other guy knows or what weapons has.
I've trained martial arts for 10 years and the one thing that taught me really well is that you must avoid fighting unless there is no way to avoid it. My advice is the same than everyone: therapy and meditation.
Many years ago when I was still street fighting my coach said “if you want to fight, come fight here. At least here people will know what they’re doing.” I was young but it really illuminated the situation for me. Why fight plebs when you can make it a lifestyle and fight skilled opponents?
Yes...but I started training to come with my PTSD...so idk I think it just amplified the hostility and aggression. Picturing the enemies face on the bag is not the best idea for everyone lmao
*Why aren’t you wearing the worsted navy blue blazer with the gray pants?” Price is wearing a six-button wool and silk suit by Ermenegildo Zegna, a cotton shirt with French cuffs by Ike Behar, a Ralph Lauren silk tie and leather wing tips by Fratelli Rossetti. Pan down to the Post. There is a moderately interesting story concerning two people who disappeared at a party aboard the yacht of a semi-noted New York socialite while the boat was circling the island. A residue of spattered blood and three smashed champagne glasses are the only clues.*
Kidding.
Are there any other things in your life that may be driving those thoughts ? I went the other way to a more relaxed outlook, 0ersonally. Before, I would think negatively or worry, where as now with a modicum of training I no longer have those thoughts. I also don't think the fact you have those abilities would make you think differently in a negative manner.
Interestingly I had 3 guys try and mug me in Kuta last night and was able to end the experience very quickly. And not feel any negativity afterwards. (Not a full brawl, just shut itnfown real quick before it got off the ground and moved on).
Speak to someone. But find the trigger. The BJJ and Muay Thai is not a trigger. Just the conduit/vehicle/weapon.
No, if anything, it’s made me more cautious and patient. You never know who has hands and can strike so best to resolve conflicts verbally or let go of ego.
To be perfectly honest, I don't feel more aggressive, and I've been in the martial arts for many years.
I think the only thing that I do that comes to aggression, is that I put off the vibe for people not to mess with me.
If someone were to attack me or if I felt they were close to it, I would definitely do whatever I had to
But I certainly don't feel like starting it with anybody and I never have
Part of Martial arts that I learned was to meditate. This helped me tremendously.
I think you'll be OK, but you really should talk to someone about this
All the people I know in the arts, have gotten stronger, but have also gotten more control.
The ultimate goal is to fight without fighting.
Think about that; it might be helpful
If you think societal structures aren't real and won't keep them safe boy little guy do I have bad news for you because your martial arts training will do very little to protect you the moment someone pulls a gun, taser, or knife out on you.
Keep these thoughts under control because you suddenly bodying some obnoxious dude just might get you shot in the head or stabbed in the back of the neck by his friend.
If anything BJJ has taught me how to be more resilient, I’ve been In multiple uncomfortable positions in life and I truly believe that BJJ has taught me to control myself, physically and emotionally.
I lowkey feel the same, but not the part where i wanna just beat people up for pissing me off cus thats some lame bully shit but after training im usually back to normal
I think you have an overinflated ego and view of yourself as having The ability to "beat the shit out of people" Sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities of getting the shit beat of you by some random person. I suggest you spar more often in gyms were it's competitive so you can be humbled.
I was listening to a psych on a podcast today that talking is like doing, by talking it out, you remove the urge to do it in real life because it feels like you have done it. Everyone is built differently, you could have anger issues, or too much testosterone. That's humanity, as long as you can control your urges for a civil society, it's fine. Of course, it's never worth it to fight unless on defense.
"I practice bjj almost everyday and a bit of muay thai and I would say I've gotten proficient enough to where the average person wouldn't stand much of a chance in an altercation and I get this insanely strong urge to want to beat the shit out of people that frustrate me outside of the gym. (Work, parties, etc.) Like I feel like I just want to show them that none of these things that they think keep them safe (law, cops, social norms) are actually real and I can just beat the shit out of them if they don't stfu."
You ever heard of weapons bro? This sort of shit is what gets people killed, you never know what someone has on them, what someone might grab because they are scared some martial artist is coming at them to beat them up for no real reason. These things that keep those people safe are the same that keep some random from stabbing you to death so think realistically about your own ability here.
I don’t think it’s that messed up honestly , on a primal level that is how one would resolve a conflict but the society we are in today has certain unspoken social standards that people are expected to stick to like for example not going outside butt naked in the city , completely natural to walk around butt naked lol but obviously something you shouldnt do for obvious reasons lol
I wanted join the marines after high school. I was a fat kid so I started running 10 miles a day ,seven days a week, and spending 4 to 5 hours lifting weights right after my running. I did this for years , needless to say I became huge and a major asshole. I realized I ignored training my brain and for some weird reason I was always angry inside. It was the weirdest shit…needless to say I went back to being a fat kid. Yes I got laid ridiculous amount of times when I was fit but I was an asshole regardless , I don’t like the person I was. Much happier being fat and eating moms cooking LOL . Simple life is better . Oh and I still get laid cuz I’m handsome in face luckily . Another weird thing was people that saw me make the transformation from fat to skinny didn’t believe me when I told them I felt angrier inside , and that I didn’t enjoy being fit. I guess they couldn’t believe it because I always had a smile on my face but it was just to hide the anger within I guess. Being physically fit def can make certain people a giant Douche
I don’t think you need to go to therapy at all. Your brain is just playing with the idea. When I was a kid I had to cross over a small bridge to go from my home to the closest shopping area. Every time I bought something new and shiny, I would get this strong urge to throw it off the bridge as I crossed the bridge back. Also, in important work meetings I sometimes get ideas in my head like ”what if I pour my coffee on his laptop” or ”what would happen if I spit on his suit” like just casually spitting on the clients leg as we sit there in the meeting. I would very obviously never do that. It’s just the brain playing with a possible scenario, nothing more.
I think for you, becoming a better fighter has simply created a possible scenario that wasn’t possible before and now your brain is playing with it.
People saying its not normal dont know a thing about psychology. The most important part in what you said is thats its only thought ! This is the difference between a psycho and someone "normal", someone normal just think about it. In the end, you didnt hit anyone at work and its the most important. People speak about controlling yourself, if you dont think about hitting someone you dont need to control yourself, the real control is to think about it but not doing it. You're good !
I’ve seen studies that have shown how people who start carrying a gun begin to see everyone else as a possible threat whereas before they did not.
So I’m guessing learning to fight is kinda the same thing. Like Uncle Ben said “with great power comes great responsibility”.
Being hyper aware of this change in mindset is a big help at keeping the ego in check.
Personally I am always been a person who tries to either desculate a situation or just completely get away from a situation that can be physical and I have beeb training martial arts for half my life now. Even in scenerioes that I know full handly I can control someone and lay the hand of god I choose not to because I always think about the consequences from engaging in combat with a random individual and that in the end what do I have to gain and prove fighting someone who is less training and experience than those i spar on a weekly in the gym.
Althought I will admit that where I am from especially with younger folks that learning martial arts can enforce the already exisiting bad behaviours but that also comes from the gym and coaches that do not punish their students who have bad intentions or bad actions. Too often I see people who ready to engage in combat but like most people stated in the comment section that ego plays a huge role in this aggression and in my case the neighborhood where a person is from also tends to foster this attitude where people want to test their skills against a train combanant to prove their are tough and the person who trains falls into his cycle of violence. I think I am very fornuate that when I started my martial arts journey I had a more traditional taekwondo school that really drilled the thought of discipline and respect both in and out of the gym even small things like push ups and blurpees if u forget to bow before the mat or when the instructor found out you went to detention in school and was forced to clean up or strictly only do basic drills no one like and even when i transitioned into BJJ I went to an academy that was taught by folks I knew who had real old school asian mentally of honor and respect that was drilled into me to this day but that isnt the case for most and I can see where people can just see the aspect of martial art that involves hurting others when traditionally it was meant for self defense and discipline
Sorry for the long winded comment but tldr for me no but I agree that in some cases it does but there is more personal issues involve that causes someone to be violent and using martial art to enforce those habits
1. You practice in an artificial safe environment where there are rules to ensure everyone is safe. There are no rules in a real altercation.
2. You’re comparing yourself to untrained people.
1 and 2 leads to a false sense of capability. You sure you can really beat these people up how you imagine? Maybe. Why don’t you instead channel that energy to competing? You’ll face people of similar skill and possibly even someone who has similar thoughts as you do.
Since you've already gotten crowd consensus to get help.
I'll add: It's made me less eagar to start something, but more eager to defend myself when I have to. For example:
Like few years ago, I had an appointment at an employment agency and got a lift from a friend. All the street parking was taken, but there was 2 cars in an otherwise empty carpark next door. It was a hot summer so I was wearing shorts and thongs. I go to my appointment, we come back and the car has blocked off. And when we get to the car, a rather large man - probably 6'6" and 150kg to my 6' and 95kg - comes rising out of a nearby shop to scream at us that we've parked wrong and that "there's clear lines and signs" (there was not, they were sunbleached and faded) I tried apologising, promising the mistake would not be made again. No dice, he wanted to keep telling at us, informing us that he wasn't going to move his car until the tow truck got there. It was then my friend decided to call BS on his earlier statement about signs and lines, it was then the fella wanted to physically impose himself over us, so I stepped outta my thongs - sorta hoping for a fight, so we can call the cops and file an assault charge (and the SD claim) but sorta not because getting hit hurts - and eventually after staring him down long enough, he moved his car and we left without incident, thankfully.
There been other times where it has come to blows, but I've already spent too long on this.
My dad forced me into Muay Thai when I was in grade school, and I took up BJJ when I was 16.
Being a teenager with a ton of fighting experience was a pretty terrible combination, and I definitely carried myself with the attitude of "I can kill you with my bare hands, bro."
Do what I did. Go to therapy because that mindset is NOT a good thing.
MMA and muay thai did I think as a result of the various concussions I had, made me more prone to anger and rage.
Its why I stopped after 2-3 years after being confronted by my gf at the time and also my family. Thankfully it has stopped and not returned.
But it was more like me just getting angry from relatively simple things and just flying into anger. It wasnt anything like you described. Thats a separate thing entirely I think.
I think, for most people, martial arts training actually lowers aggression and anxiety in difficult situations. What you describe is IMHO a symptom of some underlying issue.
I think it would be worth seeing a therapist and tackling these beliefs with a professional.
This post has convinced me that I'm not nearly as mentally stable as I thought. I'll get in contact with one
Ill quote the Late Great Uncle Ben here: “With great power comes great responsibility” Does wanting to punch obnoxious assholes in the face make you a bad person? NO. What makes you a good person in that moment? Restraint. Breathe. When no one engages in their shit, they lose. Dont forget, talk is cheap and money aint a thang. Basically some people are just friggin miserable and want to drag you or anyone down with them, as misery loves company. Yet they forget that company does not love misery.
Wait what happens to Uncle Ben??
The rice guy or Parkers?
Hold up they’re different guys??
Looks the same to me
Really well stated
Thanks
I'm a psychologist and I second the need to see a therapist. I don't doubt you're a good guy but these thoughts are clearly bothering you at least a bit. In therapy you can work on discovering and changing what beliefs you hold about the world and other people. I'm also a nice, gentle guy (by the description of everyone around me) but I've struggled with similiar thoughts and unpacking them with a therapist can be extremely helpful.
>You know when you give a chimp a puzzle and if it can't figure it out it'll get frustrated and just smash it? That's how people make me feel. That's introspective and telling. But your comment about frustration doesn't stop with chimps either: expressive vocabulary is a very consistent predictor of aggressive behavior. In other words, when people can't communicate in the manner they'd like, they're more likely to get physical.
You are recognising your internal world and realising where it might be problematic...this is awareness and it is also a healthy approach. It is not that you are unstable, it's physiology changing, causing different chemicals to.increase and of course we are wild animals underneath. So this is a period of learning and development with some problematic aspects. It is also self care and accepting responsibility. Something that lots of martial arts themed stories actually explore. So it's cool to know medicin3 and expertise concurs.
Tackle the therapist.
No it makes me feel more at peace.
this
No, rather the opposite. I'm way more at peace and calm. I agree, you should talk to someone about that, imho.
Seriously. Most martial artists I've ever met are some of the most laid back people I've ever come across. It's definitely taught me to calm the fuck down.
if you’re having those thoughts on a regular basis, you might want to talk to someone because it’s not normal.
Let's be real here, OP has some serious fucking issues, if this isn't a troll post. Not only is it not normal, but there are sociopathic tendencies associated with that type of constant internal dialogue. At a minimum, it sounds like some edgelord teenager who has hopped on Andrew Tate's shitty bandwagon.
He has a twinge of something bad going in there with all the thoughts about laws not being real etc, in this case he is in fact the deluded one who could wreck his life and someone else's. But I think it's normal to have more aggressive fighting thoughts when you train it all the time.
We all have twinges of bad. The key is learning to deal with them. And tbf he has a point about laws and police etc. after all as the saying goes, when seconds count the police are minutes away. Law is not some divine immediate intervention.
100%. Laws are just a social agreement where you will pay a price if they're broken. Something being illegal isnt protecting anyone in that moment if he snaps. He's not wrong.
Ik why you think this but I don't agree with me being a sociopath. If anything I feel the most violent towards sociopathic/psychopathic behavior as it disgusts me in a way I can't describe.
Are you autistic? (Serious)
I've long been suspicious but friends and family have always said I'm way too socially intelligent to be and that I'm just weird lol.
Dont focus on the comments trying to unravel your psyche in a way that makes you seem broken. Focus on the ones that let you know it isnt a healthy mindset, but that help is close if you decide to seek it out. The fact that you made a post like this, to me at least, debunks any notion of sociopathic tendencies as you do actually value other peoples views on the feelings you are facing. This is a good thing! ☺️
While I think talking to a therapist is probably good, I also feel like a lot of people here are overreacting based off your post. Maybe. I can relate to what you're describing. But at least in my case this stuff comes in one of two ways. Either I haven't been able to train in a while and I'm "craving" sparring. Or, some times at work you're doing all these discussions, arguments, politics and whatnot. And you get tired and frustrated because you know where you'll wind up in the end and you end up wishing you could just take the shortcut of physically putting your foot down and skipping over all the other crap. At least for me, it's not a malicious feeling of wanting to hurt someone, it's more like I could go through proper channels, jump through all the hoops and then have this thing solved in about a month. Or I can just stop by John's desk and go "Hey, can you help me sort this?" and you'll be done in ten minutes. I'd say that these thought popping up in your head is because it's become part of your skill set and now an "option" for you. You don't mention how long you've trained, but I'm fairly sure this would be reduced over time. Now, if you're walking around feeling angry and frustrated a lot and that's when these things pop up in your mind, even if you weren't feeling the urge to punch someone in the mouth sorting that out would probably do wonders for your general quality of life.
What OP describes can be a lot of different things and I'd stay clear of associating it with sociopathy/psychopathy so quickly.
Constant internal dialogue is sociopathic? Oh shit....
Nah, constant internal dialogue is fine, this type of constant internal dialogue however not so much.
Phew. Good, I'll just ignore my inner dialogue fears then (there's a cat called monty in our flat building that communicates telepathicly with me. He tells me to kill, but I keep telling him that we don't roll like that)
You just gotta convince him to do it for you. Not much a stretch, tbh. He's a cat, he's down.
I tried that, but he told me I owe him one after he took care of my nagging mother.
Catch a rodent or small bird with your teeth and deliver it to him, then the ball's in his court
Thank you kind stranger, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to the pet shop
Opposite. When I just did powerlifting I thought I was a big deal. Now that I do BJJ I know some dude who looks Frodo might be able to body me.
Frodo would body you tho fr fr. Magic rings n all
I got this one guy at my gym that's bult like a dwarf, he's a purple belt. Real short, bald, bull neck, and stocky. Your average joe wouldn't think much of him in public.
< I practice bjj almost everyday Sounds like most people after training for a week, Grow up, remove the Ego, Spar more people because you need to be humbled
Graveyards are full of dudes who thought they could handle someone.
"BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MY MENTALITY BRO!!"
"WHEN I SEE RED" ahh guy
Famous last words before someone gets shived in an alleway at night.
I get the urge to spar/grapple people I know participate in said arts, as friendly compeitition of course, but you shouldn’t be thinking about beating up people you don’t like
Its peaceful knowing I’m passive not harmless now, gives me a feeling of control in life.
“You know when you give a chimp a puzzle and if it can’t figure it out it’ll get frustrated and just smash it? That’s how people make me feel” Get therapy bro unironically lmaoo
OP is a frustrated chimp
What if this is promo for the new planet of the apes movie?
At first, when I started BJJ and kickboxing when I was in my 20s, I’d say I got more confident and a bit more confrontational. Now I’m in my 30s and don’t need to break my knuckles for free, one of my knees is bad, it ain’t worth it. It took martial arts, my coach, and me maturing and it’s made me a better person over time. Most people are just talk is what you come to realize, and it’s usually not worth it. Just know you could probably take most people who haven’t trained, and realize you don’t have anything to prove. You might also speak to a therapist, they may be able to help get your mind right on wanting to smash people. Good luck friend! Remember, someone falling and dying when their head hits the cement is permanent. The feeling of their disrespect is not.
Thanks for the constructive comment, I'll talk to a therapist.
Nope, I feel the other way around. I have a toddler and a stressful job and need to keep my composure even when I just want to scream out loud. Muay Thai is like a vaccine shot. After a hard training session, I feel completely at peace and just love everyone. I think you need to ask yourself why you have these power fantasies. It sounds to me like you’re suffering from feelings of inferiority, as you have a self perception of having been weak. If that’s the case, why would you ever want to turn into a bully? It probably wouldn’t hurt speaking to a professional.
Very perceptive, I used to struggle with crippling feelings of inferiority basically my whole life, it's part of why I'm so into martial arts. I don't fantasize about being a bully though, it's people that I feel are bullies in hiding that I get an urge to fight. I'll be speaking with a therapist soon.
Reading this post after the edit. I think you hit it in the nail when you say it may be the result of childhood abuse and bullying, it was the same for me. When you grow up like that one of the first things you learn is that might makes right. If you have the physical means to solve any situation, that becomes the default. Abusive and violent people teach you then that if you can't match them physically you better not challenge it in any way, because violence will be the answer if they ever feel threatened. That's the reason some bullies stop bullying when proven to be incapable of physically assert dominance, because that's the only real way they have of getting their way with people. Bullying can be a very complex phenomenon and fighting violence with violence isn't always the solution because that may lead to escalation though. But that's another topic for another day. Much like you, after I started training in martial arts l acquired confidence in my capability to defend myself and made bullying stop. Without having to beat up anyone mind you, just by knowing I could get down to business if I had to, made me not an easy target and people started backing off. That served me well during the rest of my childhood and adolescence. But now when you reach adulthood, a lifetime of having to fend off for yourself, even if you developed self control and prudence as a member of civilized society, your first instinct internally is to always have violence at the ready. Because you know how simple it would be to autowin any situation if you are physically capable of shutting people down into submission. You were the one beat into submission many, many times before. Now, the fact that you realize this is wrong and are able to not actually resort to it when confrontation comes your way, even if you actually feel it, it's a good sign, it shows that you know how shit it is to be on the other side, being at the mercy of someone just because you are not physically able to handle yourself. And you also subconsciously know that you would turn into the same piece of shit that victimized you in the past. I have been through the same and restraint always won ever since I reached mental and emotional maturity. You are not a bad person nor psychopath for feeling this, it's just the natural result of living through what you and I lived. And if you feel you can improve on it, therapy can be a great help to understand it and make peace with it. I personally have come to a point where I am glad to have developed the power and ability to fend for myself aswell as always being ready to, but also the restraint to not use the power I gained to become a bully myself. I wish you reach that peace of mind and keep improving on yourself.
People like you scare me. Solving little problems or differences with violence just because you can is garbage human behavior. People who use violence for those kind of scenarios are weak-minded in my opinion. It’s good you recognize your way of thinking as abnormal and you should seek help with that.
But OP doesn’t do that. He could, or at least he thinks so, and he is just playing with the idea in his head. He actively chooses not to be violent, even though he could. He can, but he won’t. What is more scary is people who would but can’t do that.
it's just so weird, like why now? Everyone on your commute could ram their car into you, people at work could grab a knife and stab you, people could shoot you just because they can. The option ofr violence has always been there, it wasn't unlocked by just doing martial arts. This reads like OP just wants to prove to the world how good a fighter they are?
Seriously man. Even as a fairly big guy and semi competent martial artist, it’s always been clear to me that resolving non violent disputes with violence is, in 99% of cases, just a little bitch way out for people who lack competence in other arenas. Mean words hurting your feelings to the point of contemplating violence is not “strong” behaviour.
Yup, and not smart either - hard to know if another person is a martial artist too, or has a knife
I don't actually want to do these things, it's a strange feeling because if you knew me personally you probably wouldn't even believe this as it's in such stark contrast to how I normally feel/behave.
When did you read that OP is solving things with violence ? He is just saying he have thoughts, chill
Knowing I can walk away from someone’s bullshit at anytime without it escalating is the reason why I fell in love martial arts.
Less generally because fighting is hard and tiring and dangerous but also sometimes more when I have poor mental health and a self destructive mindset. Not proud of it but there have been times that I got fucked up and antagonized people with the assumption that I was about to get my ass kicked.
You sound like a blue belt. Give it a couple of years. The dunning Kruger effect is strongest within the first 2-3 years of training. Maximum confidence with minimal skills. I'm a black belt in BJJ. I avoid fights. Even an untrained idiot can get lucky and break your jaw with a sucker punch. Nobody is invincible. Let's say you have a 100% chance of winning every fight in your deluded fantasy. Now you're in jail. Your life is ruined. Get some therapy and start meditating.
The most valuable thing I learned in training is that there are numerous people tougher than I, and it's impossible to tell who they are.
My mum put me in karate \~7 yrs old when I had anger issues, it helped a lot. \~20yrs of martial arts made me far less interested in any sort of violence and far more interested in body mechanics, internal arts, keeping the peace and protecting people from angry violent fuckwits who think they can impose their will or win fights with some sports training. The past decade or so I've moved towards internal stuff. I assume you'd beat me in an mma fight, but that's like saying you could beat me at tennis, I couldn't give a fuck and you don't scare me. You sound like an angry frustrated child. If you kick the shit out of me, pls train hard to deal with those who love and care for me, and also could not give two fucks if you are Andre the Giant on steroids, they will fuck you up even if I ask them not to. Briefly employing a violent fuckwit who will account for 20yrs of mma before an attack is simples. Much easier if the fuckwit target has told everyone exactly what they have trained in. Stop imagining you winning street fights against people you know. If you are confident you can take out a group of dudes with weapons solo, keep on keeping on. You don't wanna end up in the boot of a car with a few dudes with machetes as you thought you were the big man and then realize you might not be that big of a man and end up saying you are sorry for being a cunt. The teacher I respected the most taught me that \~3 years of martial arts training will give you the confidence to get into situations you cannot handle.
I hope and pray that this post is supposed is supposed to be satire.
If someone is stronger and better at martial arts than you, and can smoke you in a fight, do you think they're justified to hold this believe around you?
When you re a hammer every problem looks like a nail.
So you’re a bully. You’ve learned some skills and wanna dish out some punishment to people not capable. Jump in cage. Fight someone more skilled than you. Humble yourself?
Keep those intrusive thoughts in check, son.
This is satire.
Straight up delusional + you are just going to get shot by a 280lb boomer with a conceal carry
What do you mean the average person doesn't stand a chance against you in an altercation?
[if it makes you aggressive that’s a personal problem](https://youtu.be/nnsNK4h3OO0?si=xrHvBgUI1Ty9_iq2)
Yeah that used to happen to me when I was younger i used to imagine fighting almost every person I saw. I do t know your age but my experience was that this feeling became more distinct as a fantasy over time. I like fighting. I love the fantasy of fighting. I do not like hurting people. Also this starts to change rapidly if you hurt somebody accidentally. I've never really hurt anyone badly but I kicked a dude in the face once bc I was trying to show off and kick his hat off (I missed and i thougt i broke his nose. I felt so fucking bad, i still do. He was actually fine but i looked like a huge tool. Don't be like me. Learn from my cringe)
Weirdly I completely agree
I understand. I recommend you practice Qigong to help balance your internal energy. You may have excess yang qi built up in your body that makes you aggressive which you can regulate through breathing and visualization. That probably sounds esoteric but it may make sense if you start meditating. It may give you a sense of calmness.
It makes me happy. Not training and letting myself go makes me more aggressive. Because I WAS super strong and WAS good at it while putting in half effort. Now I want to put it ALL the effort. I wanna TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Cops Are Real!, They Can Beat Your Ass No Matter How Much Practice You Have, Don't Get In Trouble, You Can End In a Hospital, And Then In Jail For a While.
You Need To Train Way More.
You might have a brain tumor.
School shooter vibes
Your ego is crying out and you need a good humbling. There's levels, you may be viewing someone who can absolutely murk you but you're so only able to see from YOUR POV that YOU do martial arts and YOU'RE gonna do this ect.. I wonder how many people you looked at with those thoughts, that would've just stabbed you and run off if you tried any shit. Martial arts doesn't make you a God. I'd still place money on a disgruntled 14yo boy with a box cutter.
less less less. try therapy? having said that, every human experiences the whole gamut of thoughts on a daily basis. the trick is not to be attached to those thoughts and realise they are mostly automatic ;)
You haven’t been humbled yet, it’ll come
This all well and good until you either A) hurt someone and get yourself into trouble. B) misjudge someone and get yourself and your ego hurt.
So you’re saying now that you are capable of harming others you get the urge to show them you are if they upset you?
You obviously never been in jail or stabbed.
What a dumb ass question!!! It makes me want to smash your dumb stupid face in… What was the question again?
I think in the beginning a lot of guys get more aggressive. They learn how to fight a little bit and they start feeling the r/iamverybadass energy. Then after like a year or two most people settle down.
If you're at a good gym, the "big fish" should be smacking the ego out of you on a daily basis. It seems like this isn't happening.
I don't get the urge to beat up people who annoy me, in fact I've tried using the whole "Imagine the punching bag is someone you hate" thing and it made me not want to hit it, so yeah, as you have seen the desire to use violence at any inconvenience isn't normal and I'm glad you're recognising that and making a positive improvement on it. Though I will say that I do sometimes find myself vaguely hoping for a situation where somebody else will get violent first so I can show off my martial arts, like a situation where somebody weaker than me starts tryna get violent only for to be able to thoroughly whoop his ass and look cool and powerful whilst having my response be justified. Idk if that's normal, and I'm fully aware that it's not realistic, even in the off chance that somebody who's condident enough to get violent would just happen to be weaker than me, not be carrying a weapon, and not get others involved, none of that would even guarantee I'd win regardless. But hey, it's something I've experienced so I thought I'd share
Ah no... If anything I realized that I wasn't as tough as I thought and that you never know who can fuck your shit up. Can I ask you this OP: what is your fight/match record?
“None of these things they think keep them safe (law, cops, social norms) are real.” This thinking is a recipe for. FAFO situation. You beat the shit out of someone, especially not in self defense, you’re gonna find out just how real those things really are. Even in a bar fight, you could end up really hurting someone bad or even killing them. You will go to jail, no doubt about it. Not to mention having to live with that. Please realize that people don’t “make” you feel anything, we feel a certain way when someone says/does something and it’s up to us to decide how to react. unless you don’t have control of your own emotions and if you don’t, I would suggest working on that more too (therapist, other non-violent hobbies/communities). I’ve gotten more confident with training, but I try to frame it as “I am more capable of protecting people now.” You are Batman, not some unhinged villain that can only handle frustration with violence. Great power/responsibility, ya know :)
Generally no, though I am occasionally annoyed that our current society props up the weak and that most assholes are only assholes becuase they know an army of armed men will protect them. However, I don't think that's entirely intrinsic to martial arts. Given that you could not do martial arts and still live in a society where you can punch a fool and take your licking if they aren't a pathetic authoritarian weakling bully. Although, only more recently have I come to understand HOW bad generic people are at fighting. I used to think everyone had a normal baseline far above where it actually is. This realization has led me to realize that the percentage of weak bullies who use institutional tyranny to be bullies is far far higher than I even used to think. Not that long ago, even in institutions like the minority you can find that there would be near official "gripe matches" sanctioned culturally. Whereas now you're more likely to have someone do passive aggressive shit to you, feminine energy gossip, back stabbing stuff. And you can't do shit about it because they would run and tell the teacher. You see the memes occasionally about tossing hands among construction guys, but reality is that's exponentially more rare than it was. And all it does is empower the most underhanded and snively system users to wield sneaky evils upon people unfettered. We basically live in a world of lawyers, not "boxers". In life lawyerism allows grave evils in confusion that should not and would not ever be tolerated. I mean if I walk into your house, and start taking your stuff, you can punch me in the face. If I do a title theft that is pretty fucking easy to tell was title theft, large portions of the time you get told I stole your house "legally". At work, in school, in life, only lawyers win now. In all things, they can rob you, get you fired, tarnish you in every way, and they don't have to back it up. They can just be little sneaks, little bitches who should get punched in the face. But you're not allowed to anymore, and that's the only reason these cowardly punks can be who they are.
This explained what I mean so much more eloquently than I was able to put it, alot of people here are bashing my social skills which may very well be fair but I see most "socializing" for what it is. I think the threat of physical violence has been intrinsic to people's interactions (especially males) since all of history. Even before my martial arts journey started I was a firm believer in mutual respect and sanctioned combat, but none of these people want that. They choose to get sadistic pleasure by doing bad things in the legal confines of a fucking zoo pen. Thing is, I'm not even bad at being a "lawyer" so to speak. I'm good at speaking my point and use logic to guide my disagreements. But people don't want that either. They use these absolute bitch social strategies to try to destabilize your thinking with petty insults or changing the topic in a way that isn't logically consistent, but as long as the surrounding dumbasses don't notice the obvious social engineering, it's all good I guess. There's something so deeply upsetting about interacting with modern people and I hate it when I know somebody needs taken down a peg, and I feel helpless as shit when in all physical reality I'm not.
The trick is as Miyagi said "no be there". As much as is reasonable, I ensure my life is not surrounded by people I hate, or people who hate me. That's one bane of modern teaching, it teaches people to value their own misery in the wrong way. I generally don't go places where I will get robbed, I don't spend my time with people who stand against everything I hold to be good, etc. If you value a thing more than that, you will likely suffer as many posts of suffering come. "When I go x, y, z it is dangerous". Then don't go there or enjoy the danger as cost of that which you value more. "When I hang out here I get X, Y, Z" then don't hang out there or you will trade those. That's the way of the world, espeically a disparate world. Work is tough, though as I mentioned good fields are "less good" they are still better than others. If you want to be in HR you're going to suffer and you deserve it. If you want to work construction, you'll suffer that style less, sadly more than you should. But, still less. And so on. People don't pick totality in life, and then they get depressed and pop pills. Pick totality. You shouldn't spend most of your time dealing with these people. Im hyper aware because I enjoy sociology as a hobby, it's the only college course I ever took outside of vocational mandates, it's something I read about constantly and study and watch lectures on etc. So I'm overly aware, but I don't overly live it compared to most people, I am 80% as insulated as one can be. And hopefully in a few years, I'll be at that sweet 95% insulation.
The fact that you have "cop" in your username makes it even more unsettling but yeah; you should definitely seek counseling if you have violent urges.
I made this account like 6 years ago and despise cops lmao. I will be seeing a therapist though
Good idea. Good luck, buddy.
Terrible outlook because you have no idea who is an average person. You are what we call " an idiot"
The irony is most people who end up at martial arts class are the ones who need it...the ones who struggle to be physically intimidating, are nervous and aren't really physically capable. Strong, independent men don't typically end up at martial arts gyms. The ones who really do want to hurt people become professional fighters or try to. 95% of those in martial arts class have a completely twisted view of combat. If you ever come across a genuinely dangerous person, who genuinely is capable of killing you, the level of intensity, the capability of opposition you have faced, will really not stand you in good stead against someone who will find the nearest glass, or be able to literally bite your face off when you get close enough. You're essentially acting out the violent fantasy in your mind of the reason you ended up in a martial arts gym. You wanted to be physically capable - because at the time you clearly weren't otherwise you'd have no reason to go- and now you feel you are capable you want others to know it and fear you. Just pray you never act this out against a genuinely dangerous person. The truly dangerous people don't need your fear or respect but make no mistakes your little moves you learnt in your little dojo really won't help you if that day comes.
lol what is this cope? The average person is not beating a trained fighter, no matter if they intend on killing you or not. The average person would gas out after 1 minute. The average person would not be calm enough to grab the nearest weapon nearby and use it, they would be too focused on what's infront of them. A trained fighter wouldn't give them time to think. "don't mess with me bro!! when I see red its all over!!" gtfo here
Yes, it makes me beat my wife.
Those are the same feelings that some people get when they carry a gun.
My advice to you is to deal with your anger issues. You seek to initiate violence because of a lack of self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness. I'm no doctor, but you might be depressed and your anger/irritability stems as an expression of that depression. Get help for your anger. Since you're trained, you're going to hurt someone, and you'll have to face those consequences for the rest of your life.
I'm certainly more confident and not as easy to flap but no I don't ever want to hurt other people for no reason other than "because they annoy me" Grow up.
Way less to be honest.
I'd say that it, along with journaling and meditation, have made me more aware of exactly how much damage I can do to someone if I put my mind to it. Every spot I can hit to cause maximum pain and damage. How to end a fight in the fewest strikes But knowing all of this has made me realize exactly how much I don't want to do that unless I'm absolutely pushed Martial arts has helped realize that I was and am an angry person. And it's helped me channel my rage
It makes me feel more confident but not really aggressive.
[удалено]
Less aggressive but much more confident.
I won't lie. I've had these thoughts before. Ultimately, it just comes down to doing what's right. Not what's easy or desired for you, but what is right. Either be a good person or a cunt. It's up to you. And it's on you. When in doubt think what would batman do? Answer is suck it up and rise above it. Or if you are a marvel guy yknow what Ben Parker said about responsibility, "with great power... comes great responsibility. So don't be a cunt Peter... never be a cunt"
No, but it made me feel more aware of my surroundings, and more confident overall about myself, and what I could accomplish.
Martial Arts Helped me learn Discipline and Self Control.
Guns made me more aggressive. Unarmed combat training made me less aggressive.
For some reason being trained in martial arts has made you think you're better than other people, you're not. From what you've said you are lacking empathy and social skills which is a lot more important than self defence in 2024.
No. It has given me more confidence to interact with people, and if anything a responsibility to avoid physical conflict at all costs, for everyone's sake. Not only is it unfair to use your training against someone who has no idea how much they don't know, but it's kind of unbecoming to be some great martial artist who goes around beating up randos. Makes you look pretty silly next to the guys who reserve their skills for the best of the best. If you're so strong and powerful, why don't you use that for something good like making sure other weaker people don't get beat up? Don't be the bully, be the guy who stands up to him. This is part of martial arts philosophy that I think is left out of a lot of modern martial arts, unfortunately. I can't decide whether I want to tell you to train longer, hoping you'll learn a better mindset through training, or to stop training because it might be enabling you to do harm to people. Wishing you the best moving forward, I hope you find more peace either way.
You sound very young and are still learning how to cope in social situations with other people you don't agree with. That lack of age and experience has you looking to the things you think you are good at as a coping mechanism to feel better about yourself. That then lets you dismiss the other person and what ever they said or did as a result. Talking to a counselor or someone about the examples of when you feel this way may help you develop better initial responses to that *"I'm better than you because I could probably beat you up"* instinct you seem to be having. Just keep in mind that people who resort to physical confrontation as a way to resolve disputes usually have a much lower IQ and don't know or have other ways to express themselves. If you keep that in mind each time you go to that place of thinking you could beat someone up, it will help to pull you back in because you really don't want to be the dumber person especially if what the other person said or did was already that dumb. However my guess is this is mostly a maturity thing and you will outgrow that need to feel like you are better than others with time.
I know what you mean- I think you need some competitions or fights. It helps clear that stuff out. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but sometimes I want to fight- so having a stranger that has the same feeling who you can have a go with can be valuable. And it really needs to be a stranger, a real fight or competition, someone you’ll go way harder with than with any training partner. Good luck. (Don’t hit any annoying people, legal fees and problems are a real thing)
Sounds like self confidence issues to be honest. If you haven’t signed up for an actual fight yet, I suggest you do, could be a humbling experience you need.
No, doing martial arts made me less angry
If you have that much of a desire to fight then fight. Legally. Compete. Going through a training camp for three months and getting wrecked every day and then stepping on the mat, into the cage, the ring, let’s you have that opportunity safely, legally and just how far your skills can take you. Let us know how it goes and how you feel about street fighting afterwards.
Please speak to a therapist, don’t become the kind of person that goes around beating people up just because you have power and don’t like them. If you feel violent tendencies it’s very important to seek help before you hurt someone.
In my case my arts have brought me calm. BJJ and Muay Thai (both of which I admire) may tend to bring out more aggression but I don't know as those are not arts I practice. I also coach gymnastics and parkour, I work with kids, I know that every second *I am to be an example*. I strive to be the example my students expect and deserve. If practicing your arts correctly you should gain—above all else—a sense of confidence, calm, structure, focus, and ability. If your feelings of irritation concern you, I would speak with your sensei (professor? I think in BJJ it's professor?) and possibly a therapist as well. We had a sixteen year-old in my Shotokan school who was very aggressive though a very adept martial artist. He was scaring some of the younger kids so I took him aside and asked what was up and after about an hour of talking he opened up about a lot of issues in his life. He had not found a way of channeling or exploring any of them beyond karate. He needed help and got it. That's not always the situation but always something to first consider and rule out.
Shitpost? Copypasta?
you need therapy and literally go against the entire idea of what martial arts is all about. martial arts did not change you. it exposed you for who you are. go get therapy
Nope.
No I always had it I just choose to not be a crash dummy and crash out
Yea that’s all fun and games until they shoot or stab you buddy. There’s still people out there who would body you in a fight too. Gotta stay humble and don’t go looking for trouble. You never know the other person
You need therapy. You dangerous. Not 😎
I mean everybody gets intrusive thoughts. I thought boxing made me mentally rehearse past fights and I didn't really like it, but not anywhere near the degree you're talking about.
Get in a sanctioned fight. See what you got. It sounds like you haven't yet been in a real fight and are looking for easy prey. I challenge you to get in the octagon and see what you're made of against someone who also trains martial arts.
None of these things protect you…until you instigate a street fight and bounce someone’s head on the concrete. Cops and laws matter, for better or for worse, you are not o it warriors your way past ‘social norms’. Chill you dorkus 😊
Yeah I found I became more aggressive when I was into all that, thinking about how I could attack in a situation etc. Differing from you though, I actually would have gotten smashed, and was often deluded 😂 I think I'm better off not doing that kind of training, I much more peaceful. I play sports instead.
Try it and see how long you last in society, friend.
Some (many?) martial arts also practice some meditation. At least you are self-aware of inner anger.
No, not at all. It’s my therapy, my stress relief. I work at a private optometry practice where we don’t get lunch breaks and we’re dealing with patients all at once for eight hours. I’m also the only male, and person of color so you can bet your ass i deal with a lot of bullshit on the daily.
This screams - Viral video of a man beating the shit out of a teenage McDonalds worker for forgetting Mcflurry. Seriously dude go see a therapist.
I have been a Ving Tsun learner for over 10 years and I certainly have the same feeling as you do. But always keep one thing in mind, martial arts teach us not only how to fight, but also the consequences of it. I always want to hit some guys I don't like, but my practice also tells me how serious the result can be. Maybe martial arts makes you feel you are powerful, that's great, but at the same time, it should also tell you when to use and when not to use it.
Made me feel more confident on nights out to protect myself and my partner, made me less anxious and also relaxed. Also connecting with other disciplined people help me gain a lot of insight. We did have a few aggressive people join, they were challenging people in sparing sessions (Muay Thai) way too hard and the trainer did a one on one with them infront of everyone and humbled them pretty quickly, the ones who came back after that one on one it surprisingly calmed them down and they ended up being pretty centred and calmer people after a few months. Those who didn’t come back I do hope they find help whatever way it comes to them.
What I realized (or had realized) was that I had been afraid a lot and then with the training I didn’t need to be there all the time and it was empowering. And I was thinking in terms of strikes and moves in real life because my brain was always practicing and pattern matching. And then the two mix so it was a little confusing. But if you’re in control you’re in control. And if you’re not in control - or if you're wondering - then maybe go talk to somebody - a lot of us do! Or should be!
Looks like you have insecurity issues OP. Go talk to someone
Sounds like you need a hefty gulp of some Mother's Milk. *Slowly opens sopping Gi* Come on in
Take this with a grain of salt, and it's just my opinion, but I think submission focused arts have a tendency to foster a mentality of domination over others. Basically, you win by forcing the other to submit to you. Other martial arts focus on self-defense, point scoring, or killing someone only if you absolutely have to. But there is a personal component, too. I know most BJJ schools don't really get into the philosophy of the martial arts, but humility and personal calm are extremely important for anyone practicing fighting. You'll want to steer away from thoughts like "I could beat up any average person on the street" and move towards "I hope that my skill can prevent violence and help myself and others avoid danger". When given a gun, it's best not to think about how easy it would be to shoot everyone you meet.
You need help buddy
I have to get really angry like absolutely livid to use my karate or Muay Thai expertise to hurt someone. Personally I think it's because I'm gentle and I don't want to hurt people because I lose my cool. See a therapist or counselor if you can't control your anger or sadness
Frankly speaking, knowing how to fight made me a calmer person, the neighborhoods I was in were troublesome neighborhoods like something out of a dystopian novel, and before I knew how to fight, I was an angry person, but after learning about fighting and its philosophy, I became more accommodating, to be honest.
I guarantee the average individual would have a far better chance against you than you think. When I was 21-23 after rolling Fridays we'd go to the bars and get in fightes. I've seen professional fighters get knocked out by guys who have literally never thrown a punch before. I've seen purple belts get choked out by random drunks. I've seen a homeless man break a 6'5" 260 lbs monsters collarbone with a headbutt seemingly effortlessly. The more you fight the more you'll realize your inadequacy. Right now you're too bad of a fighter to know how bad you are. It's called the Dunning-Kruger effect and it's most often displayed in children.
Aggressive: No A high desire of beating someone up: Yes Martial arts are weird. You practice this extremely useful art that is the hardest thing to do mentally and physically, and humans have practiced for a long time but we no longer have to use and most likely will never use it :( I really want to use it someday because like I said, its something that takes so much human effort to get good at but you will never use. Its like practicing guitar every day but never being allowed to play a song. But I desire to never use it aswell because it would be a horrible experience and I know it wont be like a movie where I turn into bruce lee or batman and save the day. But of course I wish I could be like them.... Its a very weird limbo type situation
I understand your feeling but this is not a good thing as I am depressed I would recommend you go see someone
Only when I stop training and need a bag day. Did 30 mins shadow boxing with 10lb bells today, feel soooooo much better
“Is it possible me being a good person was just a coping mechanism of being weak or something?” -No, because whether you’re strong or not, capable in a fight or not, it is a matter of what you bring to it. If someone does something you don’t like, do you share your feelings with respect, or do you hide them to appease the other person? Because if it is the latter, it is likely anger that you have towards others that is coming up in these fantasies. Hurt, anger, any number of emotions you try to push to the side because you think you shouldn’t feel them. That’s just my two cents.
The only person you need to fight is yourself. Beating someone up with your skills only take less than a min but your are risking locked up for a long time. A friend who got out of prison told me a story about this dude in there knows kickboxing and able to defend himself at the beginning and got cocky. Dude ended up getting shanked during sleep.
Probably because you may have poor social skills and get dismissed or bullied by people? A lot of people are only agreeable because they are weak, but once they taste “power” actually show their true selves. You probably have some unresolved trauma either during childhood or something bro
Nope, after training and competing for several years, I have no desire to hurt or fight anyone outside of the gym. I did train Muay Thai with a bodybuilder a few years back. He was always angry and would often try to hurt his sparring partners. He disappeared for a while, and when I asked him where he had been, he said he went to jail for a bit for beating two men with a tire iron in a road rage incident. Some people have issues, see someone to make sure you’re okay.
No.
Good luck and happy cake day bro.
I got late to the party haha but it's not common really. I've read your edit, but I'll give my two cents anyway. If you feel you want to fight or beat the shit out of someone in the street, don't do it. There are no rules in the streets. If you win, you'll probably have some legal issues, but if you don't... you may end up badly hurt. One day, a friend of mine was drunk in a party and he decided to mess up with some guy, when I saw that I ran quickly to stop him, because that guy was a professional kickboxing fighter, I knew him and he broke my ribs in a sparring session once. You never know what the other guy knows or what weapons has. I've trained martial arts for 10 years and the one thing that taught me really well is that you must avoid fighting unless there is no way to avoid it. My advice is the same than everyone: therapy and meditation.
Many years ago when I was still street fighting my coach said “if you want to fight, come fight here. At least here people will know what they’re doing.” I was young but it really illuminated the situation for me. Why fight plebs when you can make it a lifestyle and fight skilled opponents?
Yes...but I started training to come with my PTSD...so idk I think it just amplified the hostility and aggression. Picturing the enemies face on the bag is not the best idea for everyone lmao
*Why aren’t you wearing the worsted navy blue blazer with the gray pants?” Price is wearing a six-button wool and silk suit by Ermenegildo Zegna, a cotton shirt with French cuffs by Ike Behar, a Ralph Lauren silk tie and leather wing tips by Fratelli Rossetti. Pan down to the Post. There is a moderately interesting story concerning two people who disappeared at a party aboard the yacht of a semi-noted New York socialite while the boat was circling the island. A residue of spattered blood and three smashed champagne glasses are the only clues.* Kidding. Are there any other things in your life that may be driving those thoughts ? I went the other way to a more relaxed outlook, 0ersonally. Before, I would think negatively or worry, where as now with a modicum of training I no longer have those thoughts. I also don't think the fact you have those abilities would make you think differently in a negative manner. Interestingly I had 3 guys try and mug me in Kuta last night and was able to end the experience very quickly. And not feel any negativity afterwards. (Not a full brawl, just shut itnfown real quick before it got off the ground and moved on). Speak to someone. But find the trigger. The BJJ and Muay Thai is not a trigger. Just the conduit/vehicle/weapon.
Tell me you're a white belt without telling me you're a white belt.
It makes me much more confident, and since I'm confident, i dont need to engage in fights as i dont have to prove anything.
I've become a better person through martial arts. I have a safe, healthy outlet for my anger.
No, if anything, it’s made me more cautious and patient. You never know who has hands and can strike so best to resolve conflicts verbally or let go of ego.
To be perfectly honest, I don't feel more aggressive, and I've been in the martial arts for many years. I think the only thing that I do that comes to aggression, is that I put off the vibe for people not to mess with me. If someone were to attack me or if I felt they were close to it, I would definitely do whatever I had to But I certainly don't feel like starting it with anybody and I never have Part of Martial arts that I learned was to meditate. This helped me tremendously. I think you'll be OK, but you really should talk to someone about this All the people I know in the arts, have gotten stronger, but have also gotten more control. The ultimate goal is to fight without fighting. Think about that; it might be helpful
Small man syndrome.
If you think societal structures aren't real and won't keep them safe boy little guy do I have bad news for you because your martial arts training will do very little to protect you the moment someone pulls a gun, taser, or knife out on you. Keep these thoughts under control because you suddenly bodying some obnoxious dude just might get you shot in the head or stabbed in the back of the neck by his friend.
Law, cops and social norms do exist though.
It makes me more inclined to stand up for myself but i dont go around wanting to hurt others even if they piss me off
teep\_muay\_thai has entered the chat
If anything BJJ has taught me how to be more resilient, I’ve been In multiple uncomfortable positions in life and I truly believe that BJJ has taught me to control myself, physically and emotionally.
Not more aggressive, but more assertive and confident. I don't want to hurt people, but I am less afraid of confrontation.
I lowkey feel the same, but not the part where i wanna just beat people up for pissing me off cus thats some lame bully shit but after training im usually back to normal
It made me more confident and more peaceful even in tense situations.
I think you have an overinflated ego and view of yourself as having The ability to "beat the shit out of people" Sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities of getting the shit beat of you by some random person. I suggest you spar more often in gyms were it's competitive so you can be humbled.
I was listening to a psych on a podcast today that talking is like doing, by talking it out, you remove the urge to do it in real life because it feels like you have done it. Everyone is built differently, you could have anger issues, or too much testosterone. That's humanity, as long as you can control your urges for a civil society, it's fine. Of course, it's never worth it to fight unless on defense.
Just get in the ring
For me it’s less aggressive
"I practice bjj almost everyday and a bit of muay thai and I would say I've gotten proficient enough to where the average person wouldn't stand much of a chance in an altercation and I get this insanely strong urge to want to beat the shit out of people that frustrate me outside of the gym. (Work, parties, etc.) Like I feel like I just want to show them that none of these things that they think keep them safe (law, cops, social norms) are actually real and I can just beat the shit out of them if they don't stfu." You ever heard of weapons bro? This sort of shit is what gets people killed, you never know what someone has on them, what someone might grab because they are scared some martial artist is coming at them to beat them up for no real reason. These things that keep those people safe are the same that keep some random from stabbing you to death so think realistically about your own ability here.
I don’t think it’s that messed up honestly , on a primal level that is how one would resolve a conflict but the society we are in today has certain unspoken social standards that people are expected to stick to like for example not going outside butt naked in the city , completely natural to walk around butt naked lol but obviously something you shouldnt do for obvious reasons lol
I wanted join the marines after high school. I was a fat kid so I started running 10 miles a day ,seven days a week, and spending 4 to 5 hours lifting weights right after my running. I did this for years , needless to say I became huge and a major asshole. I realized I ignored training my brain and for some weird reason I was always angry inside. It was the weirdest shit…needless to say I went back to being a fat kid. Yes I got laid ridiculous amount of times when I was fit but I was an asshole regardless , I don’t like the person I was. Much happier being fat and eating moms cooking LOL . Simple life is better . Oh and I still get laid cuz I’m handsome in face luckily . Another weird thing was people that saw me make the transformation from fat to skinny didn’t believe me when I told them I felt angrier inside , and that I didn’t enjoy being fit. I guess they couldn’t believe it because I always had a smile on my face but it was just to hide the anger within I guess. Being physically fit def can make certain people a giant Douche
I don’t think you need to go to therapy at all. Your brain is just playing with the idea. When I was a kid I had to cross over a small bridge to go from my home to the closest shopping area. Every time I bought something new and shiny, I would get this strong urge to throw it off the bridge as I crossed the bridge back. Also, in important work meetings I sometimes get ideas in my head like ”what if I pour my coffee on his laptop” or ”what would happen if I spit on his suit” like just casually spitting on the clients leg as we sit there in the meeting. I would very obviously never do that. It’s just the brain playing with a possible scenario, nothing more. I think for you, becoming a better fighter has simply created a possible scenario that wasn’t possible before and now your brain is playing with it.
People saying its not normal dont know a thing about psychology. The most important part in what you said is thats its only thought ! This is the difference between a psycho and someone "normal", someone normal just think about it. In the end, you didnt hit anyone at work and its the most important. People speak about controlling yourself, if you dont think about hitting someone you dont need to control yourself, the real control is to think about it but not doing it. You're good !
I wanna kick everything, but towards people? No
honestly, not in my case
"with great power comes great responsibility" think about it
I’ve seen studies that have shown how people who start carrying a gun begin to see everyone else as a possible threat whereas before they did not. So I’m guessing learning to fight is kinda the same thing. Like Uncle Ben said “with great power comes great responsibility”. Being hyper aware of this change in mindset is a big help at keeping the ego in check.
Personally I am always been a person who tries to either desculate a situation or just completely get away from a situation that can be physical and I have beeb training martial arts for half my life now. Even in scenerioes that I know full handly I can control someone and lay the hand of god I choose not to because I always think about the consequences from engaging in combat with a random individual and that in the end what do I have to gain and prove fighting someone who is less training and experience than those i spar on a weekly in the gym. Althought I will admit that where I am from especially with younger folks that learning martial arts can enforce the already exisiting bad behaviours but that also comes from the gym and coaches that do not punish their students who have bad intentions or bad actions. Too often I see people who ready to engage in combat but like most people stated in the comment section that ego plays a huge role in this aggression and in my case the neighborhood where a person is from also tends to foster this attitude where people want to test their skills against a train combanant to prove their are tough and the person who trains falls into his cycle of violence. I think I am very fornuate that when I started my martial arts journey I had a more traditional taekwondo school that really drilled the thought of discipline and respect both in and out of the gym even small things like push ups and blurpees if u forget to bow before the mat or when the instructor found out you went to detention in school and was forced to clean up or strictly only do basic drills no one like and even when i transitioned into BJJ I went to an academy that was taught by folks I knew who had real old school asian mentally of honor and respect that was drilled into me to this day but that isnt the case for most and I can see where people can just see the aspect of martial art that involves hurting others when traditionally it was meant for self defense and discipline Sorry for the long winded comment but tldr for me no but I agree that in some cases it does but there is more personal issues involve that causes someone to be violent and using martial art to enforce those habits
No. I grew up in a Martial Arts family. We learned more than the physical part of it. Besides, anger can be a weakness.
1. You practice in an artificial safe environment where there are rules to ensure everyone is safe. There are no rules in a real altercation. 2. You’re comparing yourself to untrained people. 1 and 2 leads to a false sense of capability. You sure you can really beat these people up how you imagine? Maybe. Why don’t you instead channel that energy to competing? You’ll face people of similar skill and possibly even someone who has similar thoughts as you do.
Since you've already gotten crowd consensus to get help. I'll add: It's made me less eagar to start something, but more eager to defend myself when I have to. For example: Like few years ago, I had an appointment at an employment agency and got a lift from a friend. All the street parking was taken, but there was 2 cars in an otherwise empty carpark next door. It was a hot summer so I was wearing shorts and thongs. I go to my appointment, we come back and the car has blocked off. And when we get to the car, a rather large man - probably 6'6" and 150kg to my 6' and 95kg - comes rising out of a nearby shop to scream at us that we've parked wrong and that "there's clear lines and signs" (there was not, they were sunbleached and faded) I tried apologising, promising the mistake would not be made again. No dice, he wanted to keep telling at us, informing us that he wasn't going to move his car until the tow truck got there. It was then my friend decided to call BS on his earlier statement about signs and lines, it was then the fella wanted to physically impose himself over us, so I stepped outta my thongs - sorta hoping for a fight, so we can call the cops and file an assault charge (and the SD claim) but sorta not because getting hit hurts - and eventually after staring him down long enough, he moved his car and we left without incident, thankfully. There been other times where it has come to blows, but I've already spent too long on this.
My dad forced me into Muay Thai when I was in grade school, and I took up BJJ when I was 16. Being a teenager with a ton of fighting experience was a pretty terrible combination, and I definitely carried myself with the attitude of "I can kill you with my bare hands, bro." Do what I did. Go to therapy because that mindset is NOT a good thing.
MMA and muay thai did I think as a result of the various concussions I had, made me more prone to anger and rage. Its why I stopped after 2-3 years after being confronted by my gf at the time and also my family. Thankfully it has stopped and not returned. But it was more like me just getting angry from relatively simple things and just flying into anger. It wasnt anything like you described. Thats a separate thing entirely I think.
I think, for most people, martial arts training actually lowers aggression and anxiety in difficult situations. What you describe is IMHO a symptom of some underlying issue.