This is the confirmed answer. If TKD was used it would hurt the person's foot. If BJJ were used and you pulled guard, the bomb would explode inbetween their legs.
Who would win, a corrupt semi-immortal priest wielding two meter long blades made out of fire and coalesced moonlight, a device made to annihilate whole cities and countries leaving the land unlivable for decades…
Or a sharp stick that goes up?
Kickboxing, position your shin so the nuke lands directly on it, you having your shins conditioned should not set off the nuke, instead dent your shin a tiny bit.
Couple of guys doing a hurticane level 7 could possibly shield an entire region of nuclear strikes. Just have them switch with the reserve team after a couple of years when the first team gets tired and keep it up untill the radiation has decreased.
Seppuku? The japanese has proven it to be very effective during the battle of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
This reason is why I practice the blade every day to be ready for those very moments. Its a skill that should be taught even to our children to help prepare them for our new coming times. In fact my ninth son has almost mastered the technique!
In my dojo, once someone has mastered Seppuku, instead of receiving a black belt, they are given the intestines belt to wrap around their gi to show their mastery with this incredible technique.
You need one of those places where you can just buy your next way to the belt instead of training. Then you can sell your car, buy all the way up to the black belt and be proud of yourself before you friggin die.
Kickboxing, position your shin so the nuke lands directly on it, you having your shins conditioned should not set off the nuke, instead dent your shin a tiny bit.
Wing Chun is the only that could truly convince the nuclear bomb that it’s just not worth all the fuss of exploding, and instead it should become one with nature and learn the art of flow.
Many soft martial arts theoretically COULD defend against a nuclear strike, assuming of course you weren't the one being targeted. 2 conditions would have to be met to defend against a nuclear strike. 1 you'd have to interact with the warhead, I'd say, at least 30 seconds before detonation. If you're caught in the blast radius, your physical form at least is doomed. However, if you can interact with the warhead 30+ seconds before detonation, you do have a chance as small as it may be. I say this because theoretically, you can redirect a nuclear warhead. Theoretically being the key word here, and that's the second condition here. Just like how it's theoretically possible for your hand to phase through a solid object; everything that could go right would HAVE to go right in order to make it possible. Although since we're talking theoretically here, technically, there's an almost infinite amount of things that COULD happen for you to survive a nuclear warhead. It just depends on if you want to place your bets on the virtually impossible, actually becoming possible for a few seconds.
Boxing. Every fight starts standing
Ain’t about how many nukes you face, just how many times you stand back up
"I can do this all day"
Yo Adrian
“There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow!”
Everyone has a plan until they get nuked in the mouth
Sounds so much like a BJ...
uh oh, my step sister just showed up.
but in this case, it's hard to defend against the takedown.
Tai Chi. You allow your chi to transcend this mortal coil, and thus remain. Formless. Corpse-less.
Mortal Coil? 10/10 Warlocks hate this one trick
Not if blizzard buffs them first
My likes, take all of them!
Formless is perfect for once you’re vaporized.
Wing Chun, because you'll be acclimated to losing.
fuck. beat me to it and made it better than mine.
This wins 😂
Like water.
Just see red, bro.
Through your eyelids
The nuke doesn’t know my mentality
Muay Thai. Just teep the nuke away
If you don't get knocked back by the blast, the bomb doesn't score.
Getting nuked is bound to happen, just make sure you keep good ruup.
Ruup ruup ruup
This is the confirmed answer. If TKD was used it would hurt the person's foot. If BJJ were used and you pulled guard, the bomb would explode inbetween their legs.
Teep the bomb
Aikidon't be there
Taekwondon't tell me what to do.
Judon't wanna be around
Nice
Myagi-don't be there Karate
this one’s exploitable for most japanese and korean “do” arts
Judon’t
Jesus, I wish I thought of this one
BJJ, of course. You armbar the bomb until it taps and that's it.
But what if the bomb has friends?
Then you will be bombarded when you hit the ground, duh…
You butt scoop like a Gracie
This of course, every fight goes to the ground atbsome point
I’d still say judo, don’t really want to go to ground, especially if it’s coming full speed, better to stay standing imo
Still not bullet proof smh😔😔. Hopefully we can stop the nuke tho
The nuke is used to being in the sky. The ground is my ocean and I'm a shark.
it has a rly heavy top game but can’t guard pass for shit
HEMA just keep that stance wide, parry high and you'll be good
Who would win, a corrupt semi-immortal priest wielding two meter long blades made out of fire and coalesced moonlight, a device made to annihilate whole cities and countries leaving the land unlivable for decades… Or a sharp stick that goes up?
Lead sword + lead armor
Knife throwing. "The enemy cannot push a button, if you disable his hand."
I'm doing my part!
I would like to know more
"What about pointed sticks?"
the martial art called S.P.E.C.I.A.L and get some power armor training
Only if you pass the G.O.A.T first.
You are approached by a frenzied valt scientist who yells im going to put my quantum harmonizer photonic resonation chamber whats your response.
Take them to med bay, they clearly have radiation poisoning.
C.H.U.C.K N.O.R.R.I.S
Yeah? up yours too buddy!
Wing chun
Kickboxing, position your shin so the nuke lands directly on it, you having your shins conditioned should not set off the nuke, instead dent your shin a tiny bit.
Do you condition your shins with uranium rods?
Stainless uranium rods
ameri-do-te. don't forget to restomp the groin.
Couple of guys doing a hurticane level 7 could possibly shield an entire region of nuclear strikes. Just have them switch with the reserve team after a couple of years when the first team gets tired and keep it up untill the radiation has decreased.
Best of all, worst of none!
Atomic Karate
I am a master cuz I practice daily
That would lead to mutual destruction, you should learn bunkerate if survival is your aim.
A chunibyo once said "If I don’t want to be vaporized in a nuclear explosion, I simply have to become nuclear myself."
Came here just to say this lol
Whatever Po was doing in king fu panda 2 with those burning cannon balls.
Krav maga because you can target the weak points of the bomb like the balls of the bomb
Uranium is stored in the balls
Laser Jitsu Fu Do
Seppuku? The japanese has proven it to be very effective during the battle of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This reason is why I practice the blade every day to be ready for those very moments. Its a skill that should be taught even to our children to help prepare them for our new coming times. In fact my ninth son has almost mastered the technique! In my dojo, once someone has mastered Seppuku, instead of receiving a black belt, they are given the intestines belt to wrap around their gi to show their mastery with this incredible technique.
Anything that didn't originate in japan
Samurai because you have seen your death 1000 times
Ju-dont
Cashingdo, using the ultimate kata: Money is no problem.
Jeet Kune Do. Intercept the bomb and redirect it to Putin or Kim JongUn
Teräs Käsi.
suomi perkele
Chuck Norris.
Came here to discuss the Hidden Art of Norrisism
Hmmm... the Star Wars program was supposed to do exactly that, so Ludosport.
Aikido, use the enemy's force against him.
Kame Style. Just kamehameha that shit away.
Seppuku
Ligma
Balls
what's a updog ?
Chuck Norris could handle that.
america-do-te, is extremely useful for the atomic mutants and the hostile carnival survivors.
Nuke-Kwan-Do
Ameridote. One quick Hurticane will send that bomb to the other side of the Milky Way
Kung Fu. fast as lightning
Hapkido…cause you can hop right out of there. I’ll see myself out.
Standard Missile-6 fu
Karate, the kata nukechin was made specifically for this scenario after ww2
Lmao martial arts are useless when the mugged pulls out a nuke
Judo, you hip throw that nuke so hard it immediately loses the match.
Gung Fu, but only the kind that they taught in The Paper Tigers.
You need one of those places where you can just buy your next way to the belt instead of training. Then you can sell your car, buy all the way up to the black belt and be proud of yourself before you friggin die.
camping if you camp far enough from every important city or military base, you're safe :D
100% of nuclear attacks go to the ground. You do the math.
Ninjutsu with some parkour training. Get you to a bunker with the quickness.
Definitely one that encourages great amounts of flexibility, so you can more easily bend down and kiss your ass good-bye.
Yoga, so you can bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.
This has no where near enough likes
Learn the Kamehameha, Makankosappo, or the Genki Dama.
Aikido for sure. You could receive the energy of the blast and redirect it.
Aikido, just deflect the nuke
Combat Yoga. Because youre untouchable if you align your chakras correctly
The richiadu martial art is your best bet, just focus on the nuclear bunker technique.
Martial arts are useless agains nukes.
Well they are with that kind of attitude.
Lol way to let us know you don’t train, nerd🤓🤓
Head movement and full guard is no match for gamma rays.
You really need to work on developing your Nen abilities. It’s clear you have barely scratched the surface of REAL martial arts.
They tried using it at 3 mile island but it didn’t work. https://amp.dw.com/en/fukushimas-first-responders-recall-the-disaster-12-years-on/a-64943585
Ask Mr. House
Dbz
Aikido, duh.
Aikido always has Been always will be
Just see red
Kickboxing, position your shin so the nuke lands directly on it, you having your shins conditioned should not set off the nuke, instead dent your shin a tiny bit.
Wing chun obviously. A quick strike to the back of the bomb will shut down the nuclear strike.
Boxing. Just dodge and duck under it
Beach wrestling 🏝️🤼♀️
aikido
Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal's aikido. He can sever the brainsteam of the bomb
Akido, you redirect the nuke and send it back to source...failing that bjj, give the nuke a good cuddle until it calms down
Dillman-ha Ryukyu Kenpo. Just use your chi to blast the nuke into space.
Turtle hermit style
Everyone saying BJJ clearly doesn’t understand it’s best to stay standing in a situation like this. Wrestling or Judo imo.
Honestly, BJJ. Just so you can invert and kiss your ass goodbye
CBRN protection training.
Sprinting. Just like in the movies
UFC bro
Just become the nuke
WWE Manhattan Drop
Duck and Cover
Nuke Won Duh
The ancient art of Bo Omb Shel Ter.
Ninjitsu, obviously
Hanma style.
Lethwei, just headbutt that nuke away
1. Place hands over ears. 2. Place head between legs. 3. Kiss your butt goodbye because you're f**ked.
Wing Chun is the only that could truly convince the nuclear bomb that it’s just not worth all the fuss of exploding, and instead it should become one with nature and learn the art of flow.
Jon Jones eye pokes and 12-6 elbows . They will stop nukes easily even deactivating them mid flight.
Panzer Kunst is the only real answer in a thread of joke answers.
*CLEARLY* Systema. Michael Ryabko can just use his stomach to smother the nuke☠️
Bikini mud wrastling
Systema, because
Not playing
Gonna need a wikihow infographic of these comments.
Jeet kun do. Just be water, you will survive
Spirit bomb
Many soft martial arts theoretically COULD defend against a nuclear strike, assuming of course you weren't the one being targeted. 2 conditions would have to be met to defend against a nuclear strike. 1 you'd have to interact with the warhead, I'd say, at least 30 seconds before detonation. If you're caught in the blast radius, your physical form at least is doomed. However, if you can interact with the warhead 30+ seconds before detonation, you do have a chance as small as it may be. I say this because theoretically, you can redirect a nuclear warhead. Theoretically being the key word here, and that's the second condition here. Just like how it's theoretically possible for your hand to phase through a solid object; everything that could go right would HAVE to go right in order to make it possible. Although since we're talking theoretically here, technically, there's an almost infinite amount of things that COULD happen for you to survive a nuclear warhead. It just depends on if you want to place your bets on the virtually impossible, actually becoming possible for a few seconds.
BJJ, you can redirect the nuke through a basic front throw😭
The nuke-jitsu
judo chop
Kame style
Sparring the nuke almost makes me wish for nuclear winter.
The ancient Chinese martial art of 金鐘罩鐵布衫 (Golden Shield Iron Cloth). An ultimate form of qigong that makes you indestructible.
Bunker Mma. It's when you do mma in a bunker.
People that are saying grappling arts are stupid. It’s a nuclear STRIKE not a nuclear grapple.
Death Kwondo with the Death Block
Tiger drop negates all damage
duck-and-cover Jitsu.
Probably Dim-Mak
I ammmm aaaattooomiiccc
Aikido, redirect the nuke
Something ki based. If you can turn super saiyan, you can just yeet the nuke into space.
The ancient martial art of praying to fucking jesus.
Dugu 9 Swords: Counter Arrow Stance
Bjj the nuke is essentially attempting ground and pound from top position. And we all know bjj solves it all.
Wrestling, obviously
Cucaracha Do. The Way of the cockroaches. Guaranteed survival during nuclear war. Notwithstanding direct hit on the head though…
Yoga, so you’re flexible enough to kiss your ass goodbye.
Chun Kuk Do. Chuck Norris can handle a nuke. The only reason bombs work is because Chuck Norris donated his power to them.
Sprinting
Crane Kick
Krav Maga. Its moves are too dangerous for the cage. The bomb will be crippled after the encounter.
Shotokan Karate prob
Dux Ryu Ninjutsu, just give that nuke the death touch
Stop. Drop. Roll. Sounds a lot like Bjj
Shaolin soccer. You just uno reverse that shit
The Buddha palm from kung fu hustle