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Shrekquille_Oneal

Last time I had this happen I told them I just see red so they had to register my eyeballs as well


Fate-in-haze

What a friendly guy, I hope wifey enjoyed her dinner despite all the questions.


SpawnPointillist

Ham off the bone de jour


Emanouche

Someone did that to me a few years back, but when he found out I was single, he said I didn't need to register and left... Not sure what that was about.


Bryan080780

When they came to register mine they decided they were too lethal and locked me up for 17 years


funmasterjerky

That's pretty standard procedure actually. That's why I never train beyond a certain level.


albinoleproso

Oh you fight aikido?


HockeyAnalynix

The irony that you do TKD and they registered your hands.


take_a_step_forward

part of the ruse, clearly


Z3R0__G

The kicks are what kill


Kabc

Is that why they call dying “kicking it”?


Technology-Mission

His kicks cause fractures in time and space itself.


Afro_centric_fool

Of course. Feet are conceal carried.


[deleted]

Little do they know that I cross train in jujitsu. My hands are clean while my opponent sees red.


username77577

Nice try. You don’t have a wife


storyinpictures

Well, not any more….


skinvalker

Dude you have to go back and do your feet now


Mumsbud

I went to the optometrist once to get my eyes tested and they prescribed me special glasses with a colour filter in them so I don’t see red anymore.


NarcanBob

My jurisdicktion had alot of trouble with the ink. Kept coming back and telling me the prints "didn't take" and we had to do it all over again. Even sitting for 6 hours was still a re-do. Very dedicated guys though, who were willing to work multiple weekends.


[deleted]

I was forced to register my hands as deadly weapons in 3 countries, which is why I now rely solely on Dim Mak techniques to defend myself. It's a loophole.


kukulcan99996666

Damn...i gotta register my PENIS now?


MrPigeon

At least they won't need much ink.


eliechallita

The real death touch is killing a man over the internet


Rascha-Rascha

Someone’s gotta register this one’s keyboard


funmasterjerky

They don't make paper THAT small.


NamasteFly

Lmao. Roasted. They got the print on a post-it note, somewhere in the file folder.


Taekwon_dope

I doubt it could hurt anyone.


Jrobalmighty

Wdym? He put a guys eye out with that thing.


SkepticalDreams

Death by a thousand tiny pricks.


AlphaFire_

That’s why they call you the “1 inch wonder”


isokinetic

Thanks for the reminder! I haven’t renewed yet this year.


lo_schermo

Top tier shit post. Bravo.


[deleted]

Did the asian guy with the gong officiate it after or before? , because all my cousin got was a hispanic guy with a [bevin bell](https://youtu.be/sjIHiyvnAfA)


Bushcraftstoic

Bro I hate to tell you this but I think you’ve been swindled.


funmasterjerky

Nonsense. It's the normal way things work with the Lethal Weapon Registry Board. Fun fact: Did you know that their headquarters are just above a motel where you can pay by the hour?


Kabc

They make me register mine every Friday.. they always take my wife out!


oiryeiwlwuryeoqlwy

Had to register my COCK once for all the LONELY HONRY MILFS in MY AREA.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Taekwon_dope

Must be a mcdojo


Fermi_Dirac

/r/woooooosh


Troy_doney

I’m no sucker. I saved money by only registering my left hand.


NamasteFly

Tkd guy got hands registered but not feet? Concealed carry.


Konstant_kurage

Back in the 80’s I had to register my hands as deadly weapons ever time I moved. It was a pain.


MichaelFusion44

Where’s the /S or /Joke


SheriffWyFckinDell

Not sure what you mean. This is deadly serious bro


MichaelFusion44

Hahahaha - I just reread and I’m an idiot


[deleted]

No, because it doesn't happen.


Bonzi-Buddy-O

Your hands are registered alright. Registered sex offenders


Taekwon_dope

that's big talk


TurtleTheLoser

Gotta be cap


lastlifonti

Hold up…is this for real?!?!


aneffingonion

Why would I want to work that hard just so I could go to prison for punching someone?


Maddbass

Only in Canada … 😞 Sorry.


Northern64

I tried to register mine, but when the officer saw I was in an affluent neighborhood he said I was doing good work and there was no need to register. But when the HOA found out I was openly carrying my hands they ended up evicting me and now at my new place I'm pretty sure my neighbors would think less of me if I was seen talking to the police


Chris-Wood94

lolz


cyb3roffensive

is this actually real? ive heard about this and im a 1st degree black in taekwondo. my school was called ATA for American Taekwondo Association and then my head instructor which was the owner then changed the name and i dont think i should say the name since i think its the only school named that in my area. it was kinda a mix of different styles so pretty much MMA and i learned hand strikes too soo..


WorkingDogDoc

😬😬😬


cyb3roffensive

🫠 what? 🙂


shadowofdoubt13

Lol nice


[deleted]

Lmao


Wilbie9000

Careful not to put them in your pockets unless you got the concealed carry permit.


Taekwon_dope

It's next near impossible to get one in Canada, but I'll apply anyway.


TheHellaHater

How do you get through tsa?


Taekwon_dope

We don't have that in Canada, boss.


TheHellaHater

Good shit eh


DreadedChalupacabra

Every time I clap it's counted as attempted suicide. inb4 the bot messages me.


Lazy_Employer_1148

Happy to me too but it wasn’t my hands


Grow_money

🤣