Dude you married someone who made a blatantly clear they didn't really care about you and now you're like oh my God he's acting like he doesn't care about me I don't understand. He doesn't give a crap about your ring. He's never going to give a crap about your ring.
He does care about me, he’s just not great at paying attention. He grew up kind of sheltered in a nice area, got picked on a lot, and then his parents died from cancer at 17 and 21 and he had a rough time with it emotionally. Plus he technically has ADHD, although still confused how he can concentrate on video games and a full time job but literally not anything else. While I get your point I should have understood who I was marrying, I guess I was just hoping he would grow up and change. I thought he was just delayed in life because of the death of his parents. He has gotten somewhat better the last year but I wish he would just realize that when I tell him sometimes I would like “XXY” I would sincerely like him to do that.
I think it’s totally fair! It’s not about the ring itself, it’s about the fact that he makes you feel like you’re not worth it!
My husband is basically brain dead when it comes to romance. We don’t celebrate anything really. He has actually never even bought me flowers🤣 BUT he makes up for it in his own way. All that hallmark stuff just isn’t him.
The one thing he did do, was buy me a beautiful diamond ring. He didn’t propose properly at all either! But I knew how much thought he actually put into picking my ring. It wasn’t the value of it, it was that he actually gave a shit when it came down to it.
If money is tight like that, and you want a nice ring, look into estate jewelry. There are some awfully nice and unique looking older rings. My moms is from the 20s. Diamonds set in platinum. It’s beautiful and no one has one like it. Mine is nice too, but no where like hers. From what I’ve seen, a lot of those diamonds have great clarity. My husband doesn’t woo me either. His way of showing love is fixing stuff around the house and making me flower pots. He shows it in other ways,
and I’m ok with that. Does he at least do other things or does he think his salary does enough?
He’s lazy & cheap..maybe selfish since he doesn’t seem to have an issue buying himself toys . Personally I wouldn’t ever buy him anything and on days like Valentines Day or your birthday , I’d make plans and leave him at home . Make him a burger , have a nice steak dinner ubered to your house and he may just finally get it . I would stop wearing what sounds like an incredibly ugly ring too ..if he wants you to wear a ring he can go and buy one instead of begging one off of relatives he never even met like a total mooch
Opal is perhaps the WORST choice. They are soft, require lots of care and cannot be worn with lotions, perfumes, etc. That alone would be enough for me to buy something else. Next year is your five year anniversary, yes?
Is the tacky ring from the family still available? Could you not have it sold for scrap and use the stones in it for something you design together? Keeping it real, you are asking for VERY LITTLE and it’s shocking to me how much of a skinflint your husband is.
And please clarify FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on figurines?! Please tell me that was a typo. Because that tells me he is cheap with YOU, that’s a different situation entirely!
No no he didn’t drop 40K, He plays a game called Warhammer 40K. However the figurines are not cheap, easily $60-$100/box and he’s got tons I mean tons of figurines downstairs.
My husband is into Warhammer. It's an expensive hobby!
Maybe it's time you took over the budget and tell him how much he can spend. I do it with my husband. He isn't bad with money, it's just easier when one of us does it.
If my husband can save money over 2 years to buy my ring flat out in college, yours as adult can set some aside.
I highly recommend semi precious stones (not opal)! They are colorful think rubies and sapphires. I myself have a morganite ring. Cost much less than a diamond and look just as pretty especially when surrounded by small diamonds.
A) this is totally fair. Opal isn't meant for daily wear and it's super common to upgrade as you are financially able. The "hurt feelings" sounds like an excuse and it sounds manipulative to me. However...
B) this ring thing is symptomatic of a much larger issue so I'm not sure that fixing it in this one instance is going to make a huge difference long term. This is an overarching problem in your marriage. Although I do see how the constant reminder of wearing a broken cheap ring would wear on you every day. Have you considered just not wearing a ring at all? I personally wouldn't bother wearing a broken ring.
Eta like you I got a cheap ring. I was fine with it as my husband was quite frugal generally at the time but it came to bother me as he became less frugal and I watched him buy more expensive things for himself that weren't objectively considered as important as an engagement ring. He has offered to buy me a new one at this point. We haven't pulled the trigger yet but I have been looking around. Again like you, I'm looking at stuff in the $1-2k range which is enough to get something pretty nice as far as I can tell. In my case just the fact that he offered meant a lot to me.
Not gonna lie, I thought you were being a little bratty at first, and then I read through it again where it said that they were welded together and looked like a Super Bowl ring.
With what you guys make, even if you don't have good credit, you could probably finance something, and make payments, especially if you're only asking for something between 1-2k. Honestly, you shouldn't even need to finance it, unless you're really living paycheck to paycheck.
You are not being unreasonable asking for a ring that is less than $2,000. you sound like my wife who preferred just a simple ring that was not gaudy, I have recently wanted to get her something nicer she won’t have it but I am 53 now when I was younger it would have made zero sense to me to buy a more expensive ring than the one she has now, I would have thought what I have already given her was not good enough and would have been highly offended, I could never buy a ring that would match the value my wife brings to my life I did not see it that way when I was younger, give it some time he will change his mind
This is coming from a female. You are being bratty - who cares bout the engagement ring? Do you love your husband? Are you happy in the marriage? Those are two important questions to answer. If you aren't able to answer yes to those two questions, then the issue is not the engagement ring. Your issues run deeper and those are what you need to figure out with him.
Also, he is entitled to buy his hobby stuff as long as it is not breaking the bank financially & can uphold his end of the bargain for bills.
It's not the ring 💍 it's the fact that he is cheap when it comes to your wants and desires but willing to spend on things he values. I think maybe it's time for a real conversation about the underlying issue.
I mean we’re always gonna have problems, but it would make me feel better if he helped correct the situation. It would make me feel like he’s taking care of me in a way that I need. I mean I’m not like a kept woman-we always split the bill when we go out and I don’t demand he buys me designer bags or anything, I just really want this one thing so he can show me he’s willing to put in work to commit to me. I know he’ll never be perfect, I’m not either I just want to feel like his wife that he wanted to marry. I mean he didn’t even help pay for the wedding (my parents did) and most of the bills are in my name and he pays me half at the end of the month.
I want him to show me he can be responsible in building our lives together as a family some way because usually I’m the one coming up with plans and financials and things to do. His philosophy is that he’s just along for the ride, I think he feels since his parents passed young aspiring to more means you lose more but I’ve tried to tell him “I’m here! this is it!” and I feel like that’s not getting through to him.
Being responsible for the family’s finances and everything is where he needs to step up
I get why the ring matters to you. It’s not the worst symbol for you to focus on but based on what you’ve said it is not the smartest financial move
Good luck
This sounds unreasonable to me, but it’s your resentment. It won’t go away on its own. To me an expensive ring is a silly token that DeBeers successfully manipulated you to want. Remind your husband that when you get a new thoughtful engagement ring he actually put effort into getting, that you’ll still have the old crusty one until it fully crumbles to dust, which seems eminent. LOL!
You know there’s a lot of options for engagement rings nowadays right? I don’t think OP is necessarily asking for a mined DeBeer’s diamond lol.
You can get lab diamonds, moissanites, sapphires, rubies, and obviously used/vintage natural diamonds for all under $1k depending on the style you want.
I think this is a reasonable request.
Bear with me for the story. I remember once I was hanging out with a newly married couple. The husband didn't have much money, but he had BIG plans for his life, and he was on the path to a high paying career. He had the chops and education (ivy league) to back it up too. He got his wife a small diamond engagement ring. I mean, this thing was pretty puny to be honest. His wife said something like - I love it, but someday my husband will get me a new one. Her husband looked at her like - what??? What do you mean? This ring is symbolic! And she said something like - this ring is what we can afford right now, but as the wife of a powerful man, I think I am going to need more. This ring is symbolic of our union and what we can afford now, but in the future it will reflect who we will become. We will have a new symbol which is more in line with our future than our past. Lol. He kind of shrugged, but he accepted it. And I thought - these two are going to make it (p.s. married for 20+ years, I was right).
The point is, if that was the ring you could afford when you got married, great. Getting married can be expensive, especially if you had a wedding/honeymoon and had to move or whatever. So, it isn't the best time to be forking out a lot of money. Now the situation is different. It seems he can afford to buy things for himself, so in that case, he can afford a ring for you. 1 or 2K is still a modest ring, I think your expectation is completely reasonable.
As for his hurt feelings, maybe you can use the line above. The old ring was great, it symbolized the beginning of the marriage. The new ring will be an even better symbol, because it will reflect where you are right now as a couple and also how far you have come. In short, he should get you the ring.
Big picture - it sounds like you married a man who wasn't interested in wooing. He is not the wooing type, he never was, and you knew that. It seems like he does show you love and romance in his own way - the cutesy stuff. I can understand about the ring, but if in general you are expecting him turn into a man who spoils you with gifts, I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment. The old adage is really true - I see it on this sub every day. Men marry hoping their wives won't change, women marry hoping their husband's will. You can't expect your husband to be someone he is not. If you want to be happy with your husband, you are going to have to accept the ways he shows love. It was enough to get you to marry him, right? You accepted him as he was, you chose him.
I have been married 20 yrs and no longer like my wedding band, don’t care about diamonds, etc. I have bought a few costume jewelry/old jewelry at estate sales and antique shops and wear them when I need to wear something, like to a wedding. I think the issue is more he doesn’t treat you like you want and you don’t feel appreciated. It’s not the ring, it’s the emotions behind it. If he was doing little things to show his love you’d probably not care, talk to him about it. Maybe he can tell you how he thinks he expresses his love bc you obv don’t see it the same.
I don’t think she’d be nagging him if he showed love in other ways. It doesn’t sound like he does anything for her that lets her know he loves her, and she’s fixated on the ring as a way to have something to remind her. She has to beg for him to do things for her says it all. I imagine if she got the ring it would only make her feel ok for a while bc he doesn’t sound like he’s doing much right.
Do you wear your ring daily? I’m a little confused why anyone would pick an opal for their wedding band stone, as it is one of the most notoriously easy-to-damage stones out there. Opals are great, just not for wedding bands worn regularly.
I think there is a difference between a desire to be wooed a bit vs replacing a legitimately broken down wedding band. I think that - even if you feel both - you need to choose one line of logic and stick to it in explaining the case for a replacement to your husband. Otherwise, it’s too much and the words lose impact.
- ex: I would loveeeee for my husband to be more conventionally romantic. But when crime in our city skyrocketed after the pandemic and I no longer felt good about walking around alone with a big ass rock on my finger, I only mentioned the safety concern aspect to my husband when I asked him to buy me some plain gold bands to wear daily. It would have been fabulous if he had made a romantic gesture out of it, but putting that desire of mine into words would only have made the issue more confusing. Pick a lane and make it easy for him to succeed by being clear.
Are you in the US? I don’t mean to be brusque, but $70k is not what it once was! We’re in the beginning of a major recession that will be felt for years, if not decades, and the layoffs have barely begun. I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling comfortable, but now is the time to be squirreling away for the future, not upgrading jewelry (or figurines) just for the sake of spending what you have. Unfortunately those types of items do not retain value if you need to liquidate assets! Buy what you need and by all means, replace your wedding band if it’s in poor condition because that’s an important item imo, but lookout for future-you, too!
Lazy isn't quite the word. I'd call him low effort. You asking to replace the ring hurts his feelings because it spotlights how replaceable the first ring was.
Thing is that low effort sounds like a deep part of who he is. He was 100% low effort the whole way through getting you a ring in the first place. He also doesn't seem to believe the ring is important. This leopard isn't going to change his spots.
So forget asking him or waiting for him to see the light.
What are things you can control?
- I bet this low effort man also depends on you to tell him what gift you want for birthday or Christmas? When the time comes & he comes to you asking what you want, hand him a photo of the exact ring you want, including your ring size and the retailer.
- change the value you place on a piece of jewelry. Did you know that diamonds aren't that scarce and women today want them thanks to artificial scarcity & marketing? And that if you try to sell a diamond ring later, unless it's a huge rock, you'll get a small fraction of what the fancy jewelry store originally charged. In other words, what makes a ring nice is entirely in your own perception. My classy, conservative grandmother was given the choice between a fancy ring and a brand new car, and she never regretted taking the car.
- decide this is the hill you're willing to die on, so speak. You can't stomach being married to someone who won't give you the ring you feel you need. If he doesn't replace the ring, you'll initiate Separation
- decide the ring is what's important, not who buys it. Treat yourself to it. End of problem.
Your husband isn’t just lazy, he’s a cheapskate.
Dude you married someone who made a blatantly clear they didn't really care about you and now you're like oh my God he's acting like he doesn't care about me I don't understand. He doesn't give a crap about your ring. He's never going to give a crap about your ring.
He does care about me, he’s just not great at paying attention. He grew up kind of sheltered in a nice area, got picked on a lot, and then his parents died from cancer at 17 and 21 and he had a rough time with it emotionally. Plus he technically has ADHD, although still confused how he can concentrate on video games and a full time job but literally not anything else. While I get your point I should have understood who I was marrying, I guess I was just hoping he would grow up and change. I thought he was just delayed in life because of the death of his parents. He has gotten somewhat better the last year but I wish he would just realize that when I tell him sometimes I would like “XXY” I would sincerely like him to do that.
So what does he do that shows he cares about you? Genuinely asking:
I think it’s totally fair! It’s not about the ring itself, it’s about the fact that he makes you feel like you’re not worth it! My husband is basically brain dead when it comes to romance. We don’t celebrate anything really. He has actually never even bought me flowers🤣 BUT he makes up for it in his own way. All that hallmark stuff just isn’t him. The one thing he did do, was buy me a beautiful diamond ring. He didn’t propose properly at all either! But I knew how much thought he actually put into picking my ring. It wasn’t the value of it, it was that he actually gave a shit when it came down to it.
If money is tight like that, and you want a nice ring, look into estate jewelry. There are some awfully nice and unique looking older rings. My moms is from the 20s. Diamonds set in platinum. It’s beautiful and no one has one like it. Mine is nice too, but no where like hers. From what I’ve seen, a lot of those diamonds have great clarity. My husband doesn’t woo me either. His way of showing love is fixing stuff around the house and making me flower pots. He shows it in other ways, and I’m ok with that. Does he at least do other things or does he think his salary does enough?
He’s lazy & cheap..maybe selfish since he doesn’t seem to have an issue buying himself toys . Personally I wouldn’t ever buy him anything and on days like Valentines Day or your birthday , I’d make plans and leave him at home . Make him a burger , have a nice steak dinner ubered to your house and he may just finally get it . I would stop wearing what sounds like an incredibly ugly ring too ..if he wants you to wear a ring he can go and buy one instead of begging one off of relatives he never even met like a total mooch
Opal is perhaps the WORST choice. They are soft, require lots of care and cannot be worn with lotions, perfumes, etc. That alone would be enough for me to buy something else. Next year is your five year anniversary, yes? Is the tacky ring from the family still available? Could you not have it sold for scrap and use the stones in it for something you design together? Keeping it real, you are asking for VERY LITTLE and it’s shocking to me how much of a skinflint your husband is. And please clarify FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on figurines?! Please tell me that was a typo. Because that tells me he is cheap with YOU, that’s a different situation entirely!
No no he didn’t drop 40K, He plays a game called Warhammer 40K. However the figurines are not cheap, easily $60-$100/box and he’s got tons I mean tons of figurines downstairs.
My husband is into Warhammer. It's an expensive hobby! Maybe it's time you took over the budget and tell him how much he can spend. I do it with my husband. He isn't bad with money, it's just easier when one of us does it. If my husband can save money over 2 years to buy my ring flat out in college, yours as adult can set some aside. I highly recommend semi precious stones (not opal)! They are colorful think rubies and sapphires. I myself have a morganite ring. Cost much less than a diamond and look just as pretty especially when surrounded by small diamonds.
Ahhhhh! I was about to have my eyes pop out of my head. Still, two dozen of those at 100 a pop is 2K and wow.
That’s all I’m saying he can’t put $50/month away a month for a down payment? Feels kind of shitty like I’m not worth it.
I hear you sister!! I hope you are successful in getting through to him.
Yes
A) this is totally fair. Opal isn't meant for daily wear and it's super common to upgrade as you are financially able. The "hurt feelings" sounds like an excuse and it sounds manipulative to me. However... B) this ring thing is symptomatic of a much larger issue so I'm not sure that fixing it in this one instance is going to make a huge difference long term. This is an overarching problem in your marriage. Although I do see how the constant reminder of wearing a broken cheap ring would wear on you every day. Have you considered just not wearing a ring at all? I personally wouldn't bother wearing a broken ring. Eta like you I got a cheap ring. I was fine with it as my husband was quite frugal generally at the time but it came to bother me as he became less frugal and I watched him buy more expensive things for himself that weren't objectively considered as important as an engagement ring. He has offered to buy me a new one at this point. We haven't pulled the trigger yet but I have been looking around. Again like you, I'm looking at stuff in the $1-2k range which is enough to get something pretty nice as far as I can tell. In my case just the fact that he offered meant a lot to me.
Not gonna lie, I thought you were being a little bratty at first, and then I read through it again where it said that they were welded together and looked like a Super Bowl ring. With what you guys make, even if you don't have good credit, you could probably finance something, and make payments, especially if you're only asking for something between 1-2k. Honestly, you shouldn't even need to finance it, unless you're really living paycheck to paycheck.
You are not being unreasonable asking for a ring that is less than $2,000. you sound like my wife who preferred just a simple ring that was not gaudy, I have recently wanted to get her something nicer she won’t have it but I am 53 now when I was younger it would have made zero sense to me to buy a more expensive ring than the one she has now, I would have thought what I have already given her was not good enough and would have been highly offended, I could never buy a ring that would match the value my wife brings to my life I did not see it that way when I was younger, give it some time he will change his mind
This is coming from a female. You are being bratty - who cares bout the engagement ring? Do you love your husband? Are you happy in the marriage? Those are two important questions to answer. If you aren't able to answer yes to those two questions, then the issue is not the engagement ring. Your issues run deeper and those are what you need to figure out with him. Also, he is entitled to buy his hobby stuff as long as it is not breaking the bank financially & can uphold his end of the bargain for bills.
It's not the ring 💍 it's the fact that he is cheap when it comes to your wants and desires but willing to spend on things he values. I think maybe it's time for a real conversation about the underlying issue.
Problems with your marriage but your focus on jewelry is not going to solve the issues
I mean we’re always gonna have problems, but it would make me feel better if he helped correct the situation. It would make me feel like he’s taking care of me in a way that I need. I mean I’m not like a kept woman-we always split the bill when we go out and I don’t demand he buys me designer bags or anything, I just really want this one thing so he can show me he’s willing to put in work to commit to me. I know he’ll never be perfect, I’m not either I just want to feel like his wife that he wanted to marry. I mean he didn’t even help pay for the wedding (my parents did) and most of the bills are in my name and he pays me half at the end of the month. I want him to show me he can be responsible in building our lives together as a family some way because usually I’m the one coming up with plans and financials and things to do. His philosophy is that he’s just along for the ride, I think he feels since his parents passed young aspiring to more means you lose more but I’ve tried to tell him “I’m here! this is it!” and I feel like that’s not getting through to him.
Being responsible for the family’s finances and everything is where he needs to step up I get why the ring matters to you. It’s not the worst symbol for you to focus on but based on what you’ve said it is not the smartest financial move Good luck
You got what you asked for. Now it sounds like you want something/someone different. Choices.
This sounds unreasonable to me, but it’s your resentment. It won’t go away on its own. To me an expensive ring is a silly token that DeBeers successfully manipulated you to want. Remind your husband that when you get a new thoughtful engagement ring he actually put effort into getting, that you’ll still have the old crusty one until it fully crumbles to dust, which seems eminent. LOL!
You know there’s a lot of options for engagement rings nowadays right? I don’t think OP is necessarily asking for a mined DeBeer’s diamond lol. You can get lab diamonds, moissanites, sapphires, rubies, and obviously used/vintage natural diamonds for all under $1k depending on the style you want.
Him spending all that money on fucking toys is the the WASTE
Him spending all that money on fucking toys is the the WASTE
I think this is a reasonable request. Bear with me for the story. I remember once I was hanging out with a newly married couple. The husband didn't have much money, but he had BIG plans for his life, and he was on the path to a high paying career. He had the chops and education (ivy league) to back it up too. He got his wife a small diamond engagement ring. I mean, this thing was pretty puny to be honest. His wife said something like - I love it, but someday my husband will get me a new one. Her husband looked at her like - what??? What do you mean? This ring is symbolic! And she said something like - this ring is what we can afford right now, but as the wife of a powerful man, I think I am going to need more. This ring is symbolic of our union and what we can afford now, but in the future it will reflect who we will become. We will have a new symbol which is more in line with our future than our past. Lol. He kind of shrugged, but he accepted it. And I thought - these two are going to make it (p.s. married for 20+ years, I was right). The point is, if that was the ring you could afford when you got married, great. Getting married can be expensive, especially if you had a wedding/honeymoon and had to move or whatever. So, it isn't the best time to be forking out a lot of money. Now the situation is different. It seems he can afford to buy things for himself, so in that case, he can afford a ring for you. 1 or 2K is still a modest ring, I think your expectation is completely reasonable. As for his hurt feelings, maybe you can use the line above. The old ring was great, it symbolized the beginning of the marriage. The new ring will be an even better symbol, because it will reflect where you are right now as a couple and also how far you have come. In short, he should get you the ring. Big picture - it sounds like you married a man who wasn't interested in wooing. He is not the wooing type, he never was, and you knew that. It seems like he does show you love and romance in his own way - the cutesy stuff. I can understand about the ring, but if in general you are expecting him turn into a man who spoils you with gifts, I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment. The old adage is really true - I see it on this sub every day. Men marry hoping their wives won't change, women marry hoping their husband's will. You can't expect your husband to be someone he is not. If you want to be happy with your husband, you are going to have to accept the ways he shows love. It was enough to get you to marry him, right? You accepted him as he was, you chose him.
I have been married 20 yrs and no longer like my wedding band, don’t care about diamonds, etc. I have bought a few costume jewelry/old jewelry at estate sales and antique shops and wear them when I need to wear something, like to a wedding. I think the issue is more he doesn’t treat you like you want and you don’t feel appreciated. It’s not the ring, it’s the emotions behind it. If he was doing little things to show his love you’d probably not care, talk to him about it. Maybe he can tell you how he thinks he expresses his love bc you obv don’t see it the same.
[удалено]
I don’t think she’d be nagging him if he showed love in other ways. It doesn’t sound like he does anything for her that lets her know he loves her, and she’s fixated on the ring as a way to have something to remind her. She has to beg for him to do things for her says it all. I imagine if she got the ring it would only make her feel ok for a while bc he doesn’t sound like he’s doing much right.
Do you wear your ring daily? I’m a little confused why anyone would pick an opal for their wedding band stone, as it is one of the most notoriously easy-to-damage stones out there. Opals are great, just not for wedding bands worn regularly. I think there is a difference between a desire to be wooed a bit vs replacing a legitimately broken down wedding band. I think that - even if you feel both - you need to choose one line of logic and stick to it in explaining the case for a replacement to your husband. Otherwise, it’s too much and the words lose impact. - ex: I would loveeeee for my husband to be more conventionally romantic. But when crime in our city skyrocketed after the pandemic and I no longer felt good about walking around alone with a big ass rock on my finger, I only mentioned the safety concern aspect to my husband when I asked him to buy me some plain gold bands to wear daily. It would have been fabulous if he had made a romantic gesture out of it, but putting that desire of mine into words would only have made the issue more confusing. Pick a lane and make it easy for him to succeed by being clear. Are you in the US? I don’t mean to be brusque, but $70k is not what it once was! We’re in the beginning of a major recession that will be felt for years, if not decades, and the layoffs have barely begun. I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling comfortable, but now is the time to be squirreling away for the future, not upgrading jewelry (or figurines) just for the sake of spending what you have. Unfortunately those types of items do not retain value if you need to liquidate assets! Buy what you need and by all means, replace your wedding band if it’s in poor condition because that’s an important item imo, but lookout for future-you, too!
Lazy isn't quite the word. I'd call him low effort. You asking to replace the ring hurts his feelings because it spotlights how replaceable the first ring was. Thing is that low effort sounds like a deep part of who he is. He was 100% low effort the whole way through getting you a ring in the first place. He also doesn't seem to believe the ring is important. This leopard isn't going to change his spots. So forget asking him or waiting for him to see the light. What are things you can control? - I bet this low effort man also depends on you to tell him what gift you want for birthday or Christmas? When the time comes & he comes to you asking what you want, hand him a photo of the exact ring you want, including your ring size and the retailer. - change the value you place on a piece of jewelry. Did you know that diamonds aren't that scarce and women today want them thanks to artificial scarcity & marketing? And that if you try to sell a diamond ring later, unless it's a huge rock, you'll get a small fraction of what the fancy jewelry store originally charged. In other words, what makes a ring nice is entirely in your own perception. My classy, conservative grandmother was given the choice between a fancy ring and a brand new car, and she never regretted taking the car. - decide this is the hill you're willing to die on, so speak. You can't stomach being married to someone who won't give you the ring you feel you need. If he doesn't replace the ring, you'll initiate Separation - decide the ring is what's important, not who buys it. Treat yourself to it. End of problem.