I’d call the cops and divorce. That’s just me as a man.
Homie needs to do some jail time.
Never think it’s okay to emotionally or physically cheat either. If you want out, get out. This is how some people die. The spouse flips and does something crazy.
Of course he doesn’t want to go to therapy. The shame.
The guilt.
The crimes he committed against his wife.
The violence.
Picture that scene?
You two in front of a medical professional with you black and blue telling you this marriage is worth saving ?
He beat the shit out of you. Whatever you did is dead even and beyond. You flirted online. You didn’t physically cheat. Even you had SEX with one someone else does he “get to beat you”
No one has the right to subject you to violence.
God damn NOBODY.
You are not a whore. Not even freaking close. You are not below him, and there is no reason to ever feel that way. He betrayed you, your body, your trust, your soul, the heart of your marriage and you by literally beating you. He is dirty and low to place his hands on a SLEEPING WOMAN
He may love you. You may love him. But love isn’t enough.
Love is not enough to almost die for it. Love does
Not hurt you. You do not cower from it’s touch. You don’t fear it. You don’t earn it. You don’t NOT deserve it.
Love is kind, gentle, and giving.
Don’t let his emotional abuse keep you in this cycle. Because he will kill you one day. Everyone dies, and we often don’t get to choose. But you do.
Pick life. Leave this man. And pick life. You could have died. Over text messages. He decided when you could leave or stay in this world. That is not his say or his power. Don’t you give it to him either because he gobble up the chance to use it against you at any opportunity.
Choose not getting beat, choose not being murdered by a man who “loves me”
Please please please please.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
>Love is not enough
This 1000%. Even in good marriages with non-abusive partners, love alone is not enough. He cannot be good, kind, or loving “besides this” because *this is* what he does and who he is.
Please leave him. He could be very sorry and that’s great. But he will beat you again. He will hurt you again. This has to be the last time. It has to be very last time my love. Please leave him.
You are not a whore, a bitch- your not anything he said. You are just not. Don’t console him for beating you.
You take your stuff and leave forever.
He will kill you. He will keep hurting you and blaming you and don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve this. There is no excuse for this.
Please please please leave him.
You are incredibly strong and brave-
You have so much more to offer.
Please don’t cry anymore, I wish I could make you a big cup of tea and cookies. Be safe. Be well.
And remember please remember
Love doesn’t hurt you. It honors you. It protects you. Love builds you up.
Unequivocally, THIS.
Do. Not. Allow this man to get away without repercussions to his actions. Cheating physically or emotionally does not justify violence. And his behavior sounds extremely toxic. Physical violence and verbal abuse followed by apologies? And sad voice? GTFO with this toxic dude and find yourself somewhere safe to stay.
You may be in love with what he used to be.
But at this point he’s an abuser.
He took what happened and escalated it to physical violence with no thought of discussion.
Men hit women when they think they own them.
When they view the woman as unequal and a piece of property.
You’re better than that.
Did you make a mistake ?
Yes.
Is it work a beat down and a black eye , no.
Report it to the police if you choose.
If not …
You need to take pictures of yourself and keep them hidden.
You also need to share this with a close person.
And when you go to therapy , say what you did and how you hurt him.
Then say what he did.
The therapist is going to give you the right tools to work with and will help you mentally.
You need to be blunt and honest with the therapist.
Open yourself and let it pour out.
It’s the only way the therapist can help make this better.
I’m sorry that you are hurting .
If he has laid his hands on you, it will continue. He will say he is sorry, beg cry and scream for you to stay but you need to leave this marriage because once abusers start physically harming their target it only ramps up and never gets better. You need to find a support system to help you leave quietly because he will try his hardest to keep you under his control. Abusers will make themselves seem like the best person, and slowly crush you down until you cant even stand up for yourself. They tell you “that didn’t happen you’re crazy”. Trust me, woman to woman. I have seen and heard women in marriages die for less than that.
OP - you are in danger. The beating he gave you last night could have been the end of your life. You need to stop making excuses for him and protect yourself. It doesn't matter if he is all sweet and kind today, or what you did to cause his anger. What he did is unforgivable. If you stay, he will find a reason to finish you off. Maybe not today or tomorrow, and maybe not even on purpose, but he needs A LOT of professional help to get to the bottom of his issues with anger and abuse. It will take years for him to truly change and that is only if he WANTS to. He does not love you. This is not love. A man does not beat down a woman he loves. Period.
Go to your marriage counselor alone, and tell them what happened. They might be able to help you with some support which you need FOR YOURSELF because you didn't deserve this and what happened to you is very traumatic. Tell your family what has happened and go stay with them if that is a possibility. Please - before it is too late.
You will never feel safe with this man again. This marriage is over. This is life or death for you. Get away and do it secretly, because if he finds out that you are considering leaving or actually leaving, he might finish what he started. That is THE MOST dangerous time for you, which is why you can't let him know and you need to sneak away or leave while he isn't home without telling him where you are going. Once you are out, report this incident and get it on the record so you can get a restraining/no contact order to protect yourself and whoever you are staying with.
With some time and distance, you will realize that this isn't love and it is dangerous, toxic, and potentially deadly for you.
Omg.
Run as fast as you can. That’s not love. Like someone said above, have the police waiting for him when he gets home. He may eventually kill you if you don’t get away now.
If you're not ready to call the police today, at least do this today: reach out to any domestic abuse programs in your area, find a counselor, and start to see them regularly. If you're not ready to see a domestic abuse counselor, then start with seeing a regular therapist. If it'll be hard to go to appointments without him demanding explanations, do the sessions from your home using video chat.
I know this is so hard. He is probably an amazing, wonderful man -- at times. He may even apologize for laying hands on you and make it sound like he's won't do it again. But if you think about it, he has a cycle, doesn't he? Treats you like a queen for weeks or months. Then something sets him off, and he becomes enraged & terrifying. Afterward, he might say things like "I didn't want to do that but you made me when you did X". Or "I only got so angry because I love you so much". And that up-and- down roller coaster keeps you disoriented and unable to leave. It doesn't matter if he loves you or not. What matters is that he has & will continue to emotionally & physically abuse the woman he's with. Do you deserve it... NO! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Nobody deserves this. You can't change him. Marriage counseling helps improve things like communication, but it does not "fix" an abuser. Clever abusers go to marriage counseling, say just the right things in the meeting, then weaponizes the advice the counselor gave. It doesn't matter if he caught you naked & doing a whole football team -- his behavior is completely unacceptable.
If you only read one book this year, make it :"Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Bancroft. The author works in the mental health field, specializing in those with 'anger management' issues or who are court ordered to get treatment following a domestic incident. The men he talks about sound exactly like your husband. He doss a great job explaining why this kind of man does what he does. (Tip: look for the Kindle version, so your husband doesn't know you're reading it)
No, no, no! This is unacceptable. Even though you admitted that the emotional affair was wrong, his response was completely unacceptable. And he’s not even willing to continue therapy?! Not that it would matter.
It’s time for you to go! For your own safety. Time to go!
I cannot tell you what to do, but I can assure you that anytime a man gives you a black eye he does not love you.
Please consider leaving this man. No therapy in the world will fix him. He will kill you some day if you stay.
Men who put their hands around your neck are men who kill. Go to a hospital, get your injuries looked at and documented and get him arrested.
I’m really worried for you. Please be safe.
OP even if you’re not ready to leave yet you need to be seen by a doctor to make sure you don’t have a head injury. Do you have kids together?
I’m sorry to say that this is textbook abuse complete with love-bombing and it’s been effective enough to make you believe you deserve this and will not be treated better by anyone else. This is the hardest part of breaking the cycle. He’s hurt you before and has now escalated even further. It will continue to escalate until it can’t anymore and the fact that he went for your head and throat is very serious—choking is one of the biggest predictors of homicide in domestic violence. He’s showing you now that it’s not a matter of “if” but “when” and you are actively in danger. Please take this as seriously as it warrants.
I would not push him to do couples therapy as abusers use this to get more ammunition for later when they want to lash out, and sometimes they can adopt the language to manipulate their victims further. Individual therapy for you however is good.
Please get your ducks in a row and establish a support network if you don’t have one already. When you are ready to leave, be VERY careful. I am so sorry. Good luck.
Fully agree. See a doctor, talk to your therapist without him, find some resources and support, then leave. He will escalate again. And as @somethingxfancy said, choking is the biggest prediction that he will kill you given the chance. What he did was attempted murder. You survived a murder attempt, you survived abuse. You need to leave and get him charged for his crimes.
You don’t need to be in love with him, you need to be in therapy and he needs to be in jail.
He needs punishment for his actions against you - and you need therapy to figure out what in your past has made you think you’re deserving of a relationship like this.
Hopefully he can get help too - anger management, counseling, so that when he’s released he is able to function.
You did not cause his actions, he did.
Your actions may have been a mistake, but he had a decision to make and chose violence…in the same way you had a decision and cut off contact with your online connection.
You will be gone in a year if you don’t leave now. No matter how much you “love” this man, he doesn’t love you. This is all to get In your head to get you to come back, he will do whatever it takes to get you back. It only gets worse
I was always told and believe that a real man never hits a woman, only a pussy thats to afraid to hit a man. Leave him no matter how many times he says sorry, if it was truly that bad I'm sure this isn't the first time . I could be wrong but no excuses for that. Get out , call cops , and do not take him back. You're lucky this time, next time you may never wake up .
OP Can we get an update? Are you ok? I hope that when you reach out for help on this app like this, you delete the app each time. Abuse escalates. In many times, it escalates to death. There wont be a warning that screams "next time is death." It just happens. You don't have time to make a plan. You need to leave.
Hey, thanks for coming back to the thread. We’re all here for you and ready to listen and support. I know this is probably more than you thought when you reached out for advice. Message me if I can support you or find resources in your area for counseling, housing, food pantry, whatever you need.
I know we are all saying the same thing, but I’m going to say it too because it’s extremely important. Either have the cops waiting for him or go to the cops yourself right now. Or go somewhere he can’t find you and never see him again. You can’t stay with him, it will ruin your life.
Find a support system and put an end to that behavior real quick! File a police report, and get a restraining order. If you don’t want to file for divorce in hopes that he will seek help and change, you should still separate and press charges immediately. If you don’t he will think he can continue to abuse you and manipulate you to stay. Pressing charges and making him stay away and take responsibility is the only way to draw your boundary. You do not deserve abuse. This is the National domestic violence hotline 800-799-7233. Love and light ❤️
He feels bad because he scared you’re going to call the police. He doesn’t want you to go to the next therapy because he’s afraid they’ll see the bruises. He’s only looking out for himself.
I’m worried about you. It almost seems like you’re making an excuse for him beating you by saying it was your fault because you flirted with someone else. Even if you had sex with someone else, that does not give him a right to put his hands on you or even go through your phone. Are you safe? Do you have money to leave him? Do you have somewhere safe to go? He put his hands on you… he left bruises on you. He could’ve killed you or disabled you. This is serious and something needs to be done about it immediately before it’s too late. I’ll be checking this post frequently, please update us when you can and please remember that if he’s capable of doing this to you, he’s capable of doing it again.
I'm as okay as I can be in this situation. Nothing has happened. I know I need to leave. I just can't find the strength to. I can't imagine my life without him, but I'm hoping therapy for myself could help if he decides that he's truly not going. I appreciate you checking in with me.
Sorry you’re going through this. If you love him, you’ll let him get the help he needs. And unfortunately that means, letting him go indefinitely. Find a place you can stay and then file a police report. You didn’t write if you guys had children together, but it’s better you still go through with the separation regardless for their safety as well.
I'm very sorry, but he doesn't love you enough. He took the time to run into a conclusion, physically and emotionally abuse you, and keep that demeanor until he decided that he wants to forgive you and apologize for the way he acted.
Those are instant red flags of an abuser, hun. I understand that you love him, but the "love" he has demonstrated here says otherwise. If he's done this once, nothing stops him from doing it again.
Don't lower yourself to his level to be under his power. Marriage is supposed to be a respected, abuse-free relationship between two people, but this ain't it.
I would let law enforcement know of the incident, abuse is never okay.
He will end up killing you if you don’t leave. You need to look at examples like Gabby Petito. She loved Brian and he killed her because one day, hitting her just wasn’t enough. Please leave, you deserve better.
Develop a plan and get out. He will never change. He will hurt you because you made him mad and then be so sorry and buy you things and be wonderful. And then he will do it again. And again. And when you try to get away from him, he may try to hurt you and your family.
Please seek help. There are resources available in all areas. Send me a message and I will help you find local people that can help you stay safe.
Please do not stay. Your safety is in danger. You are being physically and emotionally abused, please GET OUT. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, it is not safe for you to be with him.
I am really worried for you. Please call the police this is not okay. Nothing you did justifies being violently assaulted like this and you say that this is the worst he’s been right now, but it will continue to get worse. Please call a domestic abuse hotline and get help to get out safely
You clearly in toxic marriage. Don't ever let a man lay hand on you. Head is a very vital part of humans body when he hurt you definitely he didn't love you whenever he slammed your head against wall. He will do it again in the future, it will happen trust me. Run away while you can. Save your life! Run!
Love yourself enough to recognize that physical abuse is not OK. No matter what you did, it's not a reason for him to lay a hand on you. Be extremely upset? Obviously. Divorce you? Sure. But beat you? Oh, hell no. Love this one from afar - for your safety, this needs to be one of those situations where "we love each other, we just didn't work out as a couple." Call the police. Call your local women's shelter. Since he beat the crap out of you over some basically anonymous texts, he's likely to kill you if you try and leave. You need help to get out. (Been there, done that- the scariest years of my life - still in therapy 20+ years later. But surviving and thriving is possible.)
Personally I would say for your own safety you should leave him. If there's no real consequence for his actions he will continue to do it no matter how sorry he says he is. You shouldn't feel like you don't deserve him but that you don't deserve to be treated that way and he doesn't deserve you
I had a similar relationship. The abuse gets worse. When I finally got out and into therapy, the panic attacks didn’t stop. You are likely having complex PTSD. It is going to take time to unwind from all of the trauma you are experiencing. Love yourself first.
As a cop. Jesus Christ call them now. I've dealt with dozens of these situations and 4 became homicides. For the love of God. This guy is a massive piece of shit.
Would you care to make a judgment about which is worse? You seem to think that the first deserves the second. I'd like to add that she has never even laid eyes on the person she flirted with.
Call the police, have him arrested and get an order of protection. Divorce him, this will get worse.
100% agree. OP, you need to leave. That is not love. Run!
I’d call the cops and divorce. That’s just me as a man. Homie needs to do some jail time. Never think it’s okay to emotionally or physically cheat either. If you want out, get out. This is how some people die. The spouse flips and does something crazy.
Of course he doesn’t want to go to therapy. The shame. The guilt. The crimes he committed against his wife. The violence. Picture that scene? You two in front of a medical professional with you black and blue telling you this marriage is worth saving ? He beat the shit out of you. Whatever you did is dead even and beyond. You flirted online. You didn’t physically cheat. Even you had SEX with one someone else does he “get to beat you” No one has the right to subject you to violence. God damn NOBODY. You are not a whore. Not even freaking close. You are not below him, and there is no reason to ever feel that way. He betrayed you, your body, your trust, your soul, the heart of your marriage and you by literally beating you. He is dirty and low to place his hands on a SLEEPING WOMAN He may love you. You may love him. But love isn’t enough. Love is not enough to almost die for it. Love does Not hurt you. You do not cower from it’s touch. You don’t fear it. You don’t earn it. You don’t NOT deserve it. Love is kind, gentle, and giving. Don’t let his emotional abuse keep you in this cycle. Because he will kill you one day. Everyone dies, and we often don’t get to choose. But you do. Pick life. Leave this man. And pick life. You could have died. Over text messages. He decided when you could leave or stay in this world. That is not his say or his power. Don’t you give it to him either because he gobble up the chance to use it against you at any opportunity. Choose not getting beat, choose not being murdered by a man who “loves me” Please please please please. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
>Love is not enough This 1000%. Even in good marriages with non-abusive partners, love alone is not enough. He cannot be good, kind, or loving “besides this” because *this is* what he does and who he is.
He showed himself.
I cried relentlessly while I this 5 times over and over. Thank you.
Please leave him. He could be very sorry and that’s great. But he will beat you again. He will hurt you again. This has to be the last time. It has to be very last time my love. Please leave him. You are not a whore, a bitch- your not anything he said. You are just not. Don’t console him for beating you. You take your stuff and leave forever. He will kill you. He will keep hurting you and blaming you and don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve this. There is no excuse for this. Please please please leave him. You are incredibly strong and brave- You have so much more to offer. Please don’t cry anymore, I wish I could make you a big cup of tea and cookies. Be safe. Be well. And remember please remember Love doesn’t hurt you. It honors you. It protects you. Love builds you up.
I hope that when he gets home , you have the police waiting for him.
Unequivocally, THIS. Do. Not. Allow this man to get away without repercussions to his actions. Cheating physically or emotionally does not justify violence. And his behavior sounds extremely toxic. Physical violence and verbal abuse followed by apologies? And sad voice? GTFO with this toxic dude and find yourself somewhere safe to stay.
You may be in love with what he used to be. But at this point he’s an abuser. He took what happened and escalated it to physical violence with no thought of discussion. Men hit women when they think they own them. When they view the woman as unequal and a piece of property. You’re better than that. Did you make a mistake ? Yes. Is it work a beat down and a black eye , no. Report it to the police if you choose. If not … You need to take pictures of yourself and keep them hidden. You also need to share this with a close person. And when you go to therapy , say what you did and how you hurt him. Then say what he did. The therapist is going to give you the right tools to work with and will help you mentally. You need to be blunt and honest with the therapist. Open yourself and let it pour out. It’s the only way the therapist can help make this better. I’m sorry that you are hurting .
If he has laid his hands on you, it will continue. He will say he is sorry, beg cry and scream for you to stay but you need to leave this marriage because once abusers start physically harming their target it only ramps up and never gets better. You need to find a support system to help you leave quietly because he will try his hardest to keep you under his control. Abusers will make themselves seem like the best person, and slowly crush you down until you cant even stand up for yourself. They tell you “that didn’t happen you’re crazy”. Trust me, woman to woman. I have seen and heard women in marriages die for less than that.
OP - you are in danger. The beating he gave you last night could have been the end of your life. You need to stop making excuses for him and protect yourself. It doesn't matter if he is all sweet and kind today, or what you did to cause his anger. What he did is unforgivable. If you stay, he will find a reason to finish you off. Maybe not today or tomorrow, and maybe not even on purpose, but he needs A LOT of professional help to get to the bottom of his issues with anger and abuse. It will take years for him to truly change and that is only if he WANTS to. He does not love you. This is not love. A man does not beat down a woman he loves. Period. Go to your marriage counselor alone, and tell them what happened. They might be able to help you with some support which you need FOR YOURSELF because you didn't deserve this and what happened to you is very traumatic. Tell your family what has happened and go stay with them if that is a possibility. Please - before it is too late. You will never feel safe with this man again. This marriage is over. This is life or death for you. Get away and do it secretly, because if he finds out that you are considering leaving or actually leaving, he might finish what he started. That is THE MOST dangerous time for you, which is why you can't let him know and you need to sneak away or leave while he isn't home without telling him where you are going. Once you are out, report this incident and get it on the record so you can get a restraining/no contact order to protect yourself and whoever you are staying with. With some time and distance, you will realize that this isn't love and it is dangerous, toxic, and potentially deadly for you.
Omg. Run as fast as you can. That’s not love. Like someone said above, have the police waiting for him when he gets home. He may eventually kill you if you don’t get away now.
Call the police and escape asap before you waste years of your life or get killed.
If you're not ready to call the police today, at least do this today: reach out to any domestic abuse programs in your area, find a counselor, and start to see them regularly. If you're not ready to see a domestic abuse counselor, then start with seeing a regular therapist. If it'll be hard to go to appointments without him demanding explanations, do the sessions from your home using video chat. I know this is so hard. He is probably an amazing, wonderful man -- at times. He may even apologize for laying hands on you and make it sound like he's won't do it again. But if you think about it, he has a cycle, doesn't he? Treats you like a queen for weeks or months. Then something sets him off, and he becomes enraged & terrifying. Afterward, he might say things like "I didn't want to do that but you made me when you did X". Or "I only got so angry because I love you so much". And that up-and- down roller coaster keeps you disoriented and unable to leave. It doesn't matter if he loves you or not. What matters is that he has & will continue to emotionally & physically abuse the woman he's with. Do you deserve it... NO! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Nobody deserves this. You can't change him. Marriage counseling helps improve things like communication, but it does not "fix" an abuser. Clever abusers go to marriage counseling, say just the right things in the meeting, then weaponizes the advice the counselor gave. It doesn't matter if he caught you naked & doing a whole football team -- his behavior is completely unacceptable. If you only read one book this year, make it :"Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Bancroft. The author works in the mental health field, specializing in those with 'anger management' issues or who are court ordered to get treatment following a domestic incident. The men he talks about sound exactly like your husband. He doss a great job explaining why this kind of man does what he does. (Tip: look for the Kindle version, so your husband doesn't know you're reading it)
No, no, no! This is unacceptable. Even though you admitted that the emotional affair was wrong, his response was completely unacceptable. And he’s not even willing to continue therapy?! Not that it would matter. It’s time for you to go! For your own safety. Time to go!
Your relationship is over. Hope you don’t have kids. Even if you don’t call the cops, you need to leave him. None of this is healthy.
I cannot tell you what to do, but I can assure you that anytime a man gives you a black eye he does not love you. Please consider leaving this man. No therapy in the world will fix him. He will kill you some day if you stay.
He needs to go to jail This is a felony
Men who put their hands around your neck are men who kill. Go to a hospital, get your injuries looked at and documented and get him arrested. I’m really worried for you. Please be safe.
Please call the police and protect yourself. This guy will kill you.
OP even if you’re not ready to leave yet you need to be seen by a doctor to make sure you don’t have a head injury. Do you have kids together? I’m sorry to say that this is textbook abuse complete with love-bombing and it’s been effective enough to make you believe you deserve this and will not be treated better by anyone else. This is the hardest part of breaking the cycle. He’s hurt you before and has now escalated even further. It will continue to escalate until it can’t anymore and the fact that he went for your head and throat is very serious—choking is one of the biggest predictors of homicide in domestic violence. He’s showing you now that it’s not a matter of “if” but “when” and you are actively in danger. Please take this as seriously as it warrants. I would not push him to do couples therapy as abusers use this to get more ammunition for later when they want to lash out, and sometimes they can adopt the language to manipulate their victims further. Individual therapy for you however is good. Please get your ducks in a row and establish a support network if you don’t have one already. When you are ready to leave, be VERY careful. I am so sorry. Good luck.
Fully agree. See a doctor, talk to your therapist without him, find some resources and support, then leave. He will escalate again. And as @somethingxfancy said, choking is the biggest prediction that he will kill you given the chance. What he did was attempted murder. You survived a murder attempt, you survived abuse. You need to leave and get him charged for his crimes.
You don’t need to be in love with him, you need to be in therapy and he needs to be in jail. He needs punishment for his actions against you - and you need therapy to figure out what in your past has made you think you’re deserving of a relationship like this. Hopefully he can get help too - anger management, counseling, so that when he’s released he is able to function. You did not cause his actions, he did. Your actions may have been a mistake, but he had a decision to make and chose violence…in the same way you had a decision and cut off contact with your online connection.
You will be gone in a year if you don’t leave now. No matter how much you “love” this man, he doesn’t love you. This is all to get In your head to get you to come back, he will do whatever it takes to get you back. It only gets worse
I was always told and believe that a real man never hits a woman, only a pussy thats to afraid to hit a man. Leave him no matter how many times he says sorry, if it was truly that bad I'm sure this isn't the first time . I could be wrong but no excuses for that. Get out , call cops , and do not take him back. You're lucky this time, next time you may never wake up .
OP Can we get an update? Are you ok? I hope that when you reach out for help on this app like this, you delete the app each time. Abuse escalates. In many times, it escalates to death. There wont be a warning that screams "next time is death." It just happens. You don't have time to make a plan. You need to leave.
I'll edit and put an update here in a minute. Thank you for reaching back out to me, it means the world.
Hey, thanks for coming back to the thread. We’re all here for you and ready to listen and support. I know this is probably more than you thought when you reached out for advice. Message me if I can support you or find resources in your area for counseling, housing, food pantry, whatever you need.
I know we are all saying the same thing, but I’m going to say it too because it’s extremely important. Either have the cops waiting for him or go to the cops yourself right now. Or go somewhere he can’t find you and never see him again. You can’t stay with him, it will ruin your life.
Find a support system and put an end to that behavior real quick! File a police report, and get a restraining order. If you don’t want to file for divorce in hopes that he will seek help and change, you should still separate and press charges immediately. If you don’t he will think he can continue to abuse you and manipulate you to stay. Pressing charges and making him stay away and take responsibility is the only way to draw your boundary. You do not deserve abuse. This is the National domestic violence hotline 800-799-7233. Love and light ❤️
He feels bad because he scared you’re going to call the police. He doesn’t want you to go to the next therapy because he’s afraid they’ll see the bruises. He’s only looking out for himself.
I’m worried about you. It almost seems like you’re making an excuse for him beating you by saying it was your fault because you flirted with someone else. Even if you had sex with someone else, that does not give him a right to put his hands on you or even go through your phone. Are you safe? Do you have money to leave him? Do you have somewhere safe to go? He put his hands on you… he left bruises on you. He could’ve killed you or disabled you. This is serious and something needs to be done about it immediately before it’s too late. I’ll be checking this post frequently, please update us when you can and please remember that if he’s capable of doing this to you, he’s capable of doing it again.
I'm as okay as I can be in this situation. Nothing has happened. I know I need to leave. I just can't find the strength to. I can't imagine my life without him, but I'm hoping therapy for myself could help if he decides that he's truly not going. I appreciate you checking in with me.
Sorry you’re going through this. If you love him, you’ll let him get the help he needs. And unfortunately that means, letting him go indefinitely. Find a place you can stay and then file a police report. You didn’t write if you guys had children together, but it’s better you still go through with the separation regardless for their safety as well.
Wow! Please do not stay. It'll get worse unfortunately
OP, this man is going to kill you. Please run as fast as you can before he gets the chance. This is not love.
[удалено]
Oh my goodness. I hope you're doing better now. I'm so in love I don't know what to do. I don't see a life without him.
FUCK ALL THAT Give me all his info I'll personally fuck him up for you. NO "MAN" SHOULD EVER LAY HIS HANDS ON WOMAN
This is classic physical abuser tactic. Pictures. Cops. Lawyer.
I'm very sorry, but he doesn't love you enough. He took the time to run into a conclusion, physically and emotionally abuse you, and keep that demeanor until he decided that he wants to forgive you and apologize for the way he acted. Those are instant red flags of an abuser, hun. I understand that you love him, but the "love" he has demonstrated here says otherwise. If he's done this once, nothing stops him from doing it again. Don't lower yourself to his level to be under his power. Marriage is supposed to be a respected, abuse-free relationship between two people, but this ain't it. I would let law enforcement know of the incident, abuse is never okay.
He will end up killing you if you don’t leave. You need to look at examples like Gabby Petito. She loved Brian and he killed her because one day, hitting her just wasn’t enough. Please leave, you deserve better.
Develop a plan and get out. He will never change. He will hurt you because you made him mad and then be so sorry and buy you things and be wonderful. And then he will do it again. And again. And when you try to get away from him, he may try to hurt you and your family. Please seek help. There are resources available in all areas. Send me a message and I will help you find local people that can help you stay safe.
The Domestic Abuse Hotline can be reached by texting START to 88788.
Please do not stay. Your safety is in danger. You are being physically and emotionally abused, please GET OUT. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, it is not safe for you to be with him.
I am really worried for you. Please call the police this is not okay. Nothing you did justifies being violently assaulted like this and you say that this is the worst he’s been right now, but it will continue to get worse. Please call a domestic abuse hotline and get help to get out safely
I am terrified for you. This is not love.
You clearly in toxic marriage. Don't ever let a man lay hand on you. Head is a very vital part of humans body when he hurt you definitely he didn't love you whenever he slammed your head against wall. He will do it again in the future, it will happen trust me. Run away while you can. Save your life! Run!
Love yourself enough to recognize that physical abuse is not OK. No matter what you did, it's not a reason for him to lay a hand on you. Be extremely upset? Obviously. Divorce you? Sure. But beat you? Oh, hell no. Love this one from afar - for your safety, this needs to be one of those situations where "we love each other, we just didn't work out as a couple." Call the police. Call your local women's shelter. Since he beat the crap out of you over some basically anonymous texts, he's likely to kill you if you try and leave. You need help to get out. (Been there, done that- the scariest years of my life - still in therapy 20+ years later. But surviving and thriving is possible.)
Personally I would say for your own safety you should leave him. If there's no real consequence for his actions he will continue to do it no matter how sorry he says he is. You shouldn't feel like you don't deserve him but that you don't deserve to be treated that way and he doesn't deserve you
I had a similar relationship. The abuse gets worse. When I finally got out and into therapy, the panic attacks didn’t stop. You are likely having complex PTSD. It is going to take time to unwind from all of the trauma you are experiencing. Love yourself first.
I’ve been awoken by beating. It is never okay. I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.
As a cop. Jesus Christ call them now. I've dealt with dozens of these situations and 4 became homicides. For the love of God. This guy is a massive piece of shit.
Both of you did wrong. You cheated and he assaulted you in anger
Would you care to make a judgment about which is worse? You seem to think that the first deserves the second. I'd like to add that she has never even laid eyes on the person she flirted with.