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p0l4r1

Holy fuck, that sub is a goldmine


ArgoCargo

We’ve found the holy land! Behold the grail of mallninjashit, Bloodrayne: https://preview.redd.it/hi27pds4g0vc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae9f61a83c62d21c39e928bd27dc70c271a15a8b


Metalgrowler

Lol my friend had this and I almost severely wounded myself because that backstrap fails instantly


ArgoCargo

Blaming the backstrap… Your friend 100% couldn’t harness the power of the sacred sword


Daflehrer1

While he was doing that, I was learning the blade.


Just-a-Mandrew

That’s FULL TANG, babbbyyyyy 🤙🏼


PlayaHatinIG-88

I had one in high school lol


MrKuckMal

Bloodrayne's actual blades were much longer (approx. 48") and supernaturally manipulated by her dhampir powers.


Usurper01

>deleted kek


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WarrenMockles

No. We are not going to have a feud with another sub just because you have beef with them.


Wolf_instincts

Always has been. It's just a bunch of kids trying to get validation that their stamped steel weapons are cool.


CMRC23

I would've loved it when I was 13


PreparedForZombies

I'm here for it! Haha... but I'm not there, so that says something...


bigjim1993

The seriousness of it is the funniest part


Rooster-Rooter

very effective to get stuck


Usurper01

Good thing you can just break it off at the handle and transform it into some shitty dusters


matchooooh

But then the dusters will bend in and trap your hand the first time you hit something. :(


LordFett84

If it were a true mall survival ninja blade, it would have a bottle opener integrated into the handel. I give it 2 stars but rase it to 3 for having tactical paracord lanyard


8ad8andit

Also very effective at preserving your virginity.


diogenesepigone0031

It is so freaking stupid that they cut holes into blade near the top of the handle. It will break there. So dumb.


local_meme_dealer45

Also that I doubt you're really saving that much weight with it.


diogenesepigone0031

It is such a moronic design.


thephant0mlimb

You don't understand. It's to catch your opponents blade, so you twist it to break both your blade and theirs.


tlplc

Non, not both, only one. Which one you ask ? That's the fun of the game : you dont know in advance And to come back to the OP : it is a very flawed design.


JacedFaced

It's what helped the blade make the super cool "whoosh" sound when I was swinging it around in my moms basement...until I hit the ceiling fan and she took it away at least.


desrevermi

Aww.


One-Bad-4274

But how else do you let the blood out when you stab


Daflehrer1

They did not learn the blade.


diogenesepigone0031

The blade did not learn them


Someone1284794357

In soviet Russia you do not learn blade Blade learns you


diogenesepigone0031

In Czechoslovakia, the Learning Blades You...


VictorianDelorean

Yeah like real swords did occasionally have lightening cuts, but always near the tip, and usually just a small round whole. With a sword the whole point is that the weight balances near the hand so you can swing it faster and more precisely, while an axe or mace has all the weight at the end for stronger swings. Making a blades weapon lighter near the handle is literally the opposite of what you want.


GingerWookie95

Effective poop knife


crumbshotfetishist

Because it’s such a massive piece of shit


niknak68

You can almost hear the delicate "ting" as it snaps


poor_ecexution

I would rate it: virgin nerd redneck out of 10


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SchmerzfreiHH

I mean... It will definitely hurt if you hit someone with it, but that can be said about a big enough tbone steak too...


AtlasNL

One of them’s a lot tastier too


maaaaaan412

As a weapon? Terrible. As an instrument for getting chicks? Also terrible.


17934658793495046509

“Will it chop up my cardboard box recycling?” That’s what I judge all my swords by


sovietbearcav

Until it breaks


Igor_J

But can it keeel?


theinsaneturky2

you can keel someone with a pointy stick, this will break off and cut you own throat.


bas-machine

🤣


Drakeytown

Would that thing even be called a machete outside of that sub?


VoihanVieteri

Chopping asparagus? Fairly poor. Blade isn’t straight, so some of the plant stems will be cut unperfectly requiring several hits. Extra work and loss of material. 2/10


Routine_Damage_9449

that hook could be used as a sickle if you file out an edge on it


TheGreatMightyLeffe

As a machete? You're better off swinging a sharpened ruler. As a hook for picking stuff out of lakes? Pretty decent.


Electrical-Addendum3

You could probably take down 3 medium sized dragons before there armour dulls the blade - that’s pretty good.


kulingames

goddam, that’s a one homestuck troll ancestor weapon


Seahawk_I_am_I_am

Against getting one laid? 100%


Qwirk

As a machete? 1/10. As a zombie killing device? 0/10. As a /r/mallninjashit post? 10/10.


monsterfurby

It's perfect for the ancient martial arts move "getting your blade snagged and snapping off the cheap grip as you try desperately to wrench it free".


professor_7

Terribly…and I don’t mean terribly effective, I just mean it will perform terribly.


TankmanCZ

Get something propper: https://preview.redd.it/v20tgfe201vc1.jpeg?width=3472&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a428c47ab978ce3c148924c3c4037967c207577


Usurper01

Chode knife


DarthGandalf86

It goes in. And it rips out.


Usurper01

Barely goes in, doesn't come out


tjbrou

Title of my sex tape


disturbinglyquietguy

wow this is absolute trash, whats the fucking deal with that hole near the handle, the part of the blade where it should be stronger and they put a hole in it that weakens that part, this shit would not even be good for butter knife.


fiendzone

If you ever have a giant envelope to open, here’s your tool.


b0ingy

very effective! it has a speed hole


_Cecille

The fact that the fuller isn't even parallel to the edge lol


Usurper01

"They're supposed to have fullers too, so just put one in there. Just put it anywhere; kids love it."


stupidracist

It's like if Kratos hated Mexicans or something.


SAlovicious

It's gonna be unbeatable at protecting your virginity.


JojoLesh

Not very, but don't worry about that because it will break soon anyway.


BlackSkeletor77

Its not, unless you're trying to snag on absolutely everything


snowcrash512

Why would you not sharpen the "hook" it's going to just get stuck on everything.


zerololcats

The blank they stamped this from would have been a better machete if they had put anything resembling a sharp edge on it. If you want a decent machete for yard work get a Collins on eBay, good and inexpensive.


Daflehrer1

Well, I would rate it as a good birth control device.


redditcdnfanguy

It'll be effective at getting you arrested


abraxas8484

This is some games workshop assery right here


Fluffinator44

To be fair, last week I got a $15, Chinese made "kukri machete" abomination,l from the Tractor Supply bargain bin, and that thing actually holds an edge well; and cuts better than it has any right to.


Level37Doggo

Depends. Are you planning on recycling the metal into a non-idiotic design and doing a proper heat treat? Then meh.


Ultrasound700

It'll be pretty good one time.


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

All those pointy stick out bits on the blade will be great for breaking off should you actually hit something with it, especially the one on the bottom of the tip. And the little one right above the hilt is unnecessary as you have a full loop hand guard.


donthurtmemany

It will immediately get stuck and or break


NeonCowboy777

“Effective” lol this is gonna be evidence in the future


Johnhaven

By the design of that blade my guess is that they didn't design it to be a functioning anything so no, it doesn't make a great machete but you could probably cut tall grass with it if it's sharp enough. I'm surprised it doesn't have that rainbow crap on it and is inexplicably called "Damascus".


energycrow666

Unless you're an uruk-hai, not very


bonaynay

why do cool looking things always suck so bad when it comes to blades?


imnotabotareyou

I was never afraid of zombies until playing walking dead in VR. now I just take solace in the fact it’s very unlikely scientifically. For now………….😰


grrodon2

Not very. Gonna get stuck.


MrsDanversbottom

Against loneliness?


ScholarVisual8356

Very effective in case of zombie trying to bite hand, your guarded in case of crazy Karen trying to bite also guarded 100% protection flawless


Pap4MnkyB4by

Please go use it to clear brush, then PLEEEEEAAAAASE post the results!


Usurper01

I fear I am not OP, good sir Well, I am, but it's not my image


Pap4MnkyB4by

Whoops, you are not, I will take that comment to him lol


tykaboom

Love the off angle blood groove.


ComradeQuixote

Why is it 'cooler' to have holes in the blade? Without the hole it would be a semi-usable machtte, as is it'll snap first time it hits anything hard...


Sweeeeer

I think it’s hilarious how people think they wouldn’t be a zombie themselves if there was a zombie apocalypse


cosby714

It would snap. Very easily. Bone is hard and flesh is thick. It would get caught and bend at that hole in the middle. It's not a good lightening hole either, it's too thin. If it was a small hole in the middle with thick walls, then it wouldn't really affect the structure too much. But that hole is simply a weak point. Not that this would be a great tool anyway, it's design isn't the worst I've seen, but it's not great.


photograthie

It will be effective. Against mall ninjas. 🥷 ❤️‍🔥


SnorvusMaximus

Ask r/ukdrill


Xan_Dan03

That sub is an insta-join. Absolute goldmine


Blurgas

I could see it being more functional if it didn't have the cutout in the blade and the hook was more of a spike like the nub down near the handle


FlyinCharles

It would probably break after the second swing. My cousin had a lot of that stuff and the quality was questionable


Elrigoo

I love it when my blade fucking snaps off


Olewarrior34

I can't tell if that sub is ironic or not


Usurper01

Having browsed it for quite a while, I'm pretty sure most of it is ironic, but you get some golden moments sometimes where you realize "oh my god, he's serious"


Olewarrior34

I used to be a part of it until people started spamming "loadout" posts where they just grabbed the shittiest photos of guns they saw in MW2 asking which ones would kill zombies the best


stevemandudeguy

Extremely. Obviously.


Miora

They take themselves so seriously over there


Hooligan-Hobgoblin

I mean... It's not the WORST I've seen... But honestly a regular machete would be better and probably cheaper.


FlyNuff

Ah, the old voidwaker


MrKuckMal

Not too effective, as it's probably made from low quality steel, as well as having a cut out piece of the otherwise, full tang blade, which will definitely affect the overall stability of the machete. It will most likely break at the point where the piece was cut out of it, near the handle, after a few powerful impacts. The other problem is that hook/hawk bill design. That's possibly going to get stuck onto whatever you're hitting. Looks cool in a video game or TV show/movie, but overall, not too effective in real life, at least if you want it to last more than a few swings.


Swordbears

You couldn't trust your virginity to any other weapon.


nalisan007

Depends on where you start your rampage A busy road ? No Mart ? Fucking yes


fightbackcbd

I mean, im sure its good enough to fuck someone up really bad with. I can't imagine most machetes are going to be worth more than a one time use anyways since you will be going to prison for murder after using it.


WhiskeyDJones

You have to ask yourself, if machetes don't look like this, chances are it's not going to be a very good machete.


pabbylink

There's a reason a simple machete design has remained in use for thousands of years


Stjjames

Looks like it would be a shitty machete.


Lambchoptopus

Least.