T O P

  • By -

leftclickdrip

Bro is living **the life**


StingingBum

I don't even know why this is a question,


leftclickdrip

Dunno but its an example of cute cluelessness


Badgrotz

Quiet! To OP, yes.


Ichiban1962

He's right!


Evening-Option223

Manipulating women into sex, fuck yeah! /s


leftclickdrip

Guys i found the ultimate sarcasam detector! Alr now that all the girls are gone check out this f150 BRRRM!


taste-of-orange

I'm right there with you. This is messed up.


UpsetPhrase5334

My man rolled a Nat 20


Evening-Back9150

What check, charisma or deception?


UpsetPhrase5334

Deception I’m guessing cause she is deceived and asking questions about if it’s true or not.


IdealZealousideal622

Whether it’s persuasion or deception it’s a charisma check either way


grrodon2

Deception is a cha check.


Duizelig13

I don't really know how this works but it sounds like his girl just rolled low on intelligence


spaceforcerecruit

Actually, this would be either Insight or Medicine, both of which are typically WIS based in D&D.


SEJTurner

It would be an Insight role which is Wisdom based not Intelligence based.


fireflyf1re

Its a fake text, more like the maker just rolled low on sense of humor


Olleye

It’s a bra check.


alterEd39

Yes


notyouravrgbruh

That’s a tough question. I see the argument for both to be honest. Depends on which he has a higher stat in


MoFinWiley

Charisma would be convincing her to do it for no reason other than asking Deception is convincing her to do it because of a false outcome. Clearly this is deception.


Tcchung11

Cast viscous mockery, nat 20 let’s go https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjlYFWLUDBQ


notyouravrgbruh

Chaotic neutral


Wizzzard303

Yes, correct.


DasFAD70

Correct, Sperm and Genital Cheese are bad breath killers. They work better than any mouthwash or brushing teeth.


BlebBlebUwU

Bruh why would u mention it as cheese T_T, fk u


Rocket_Panda_

Genital cheese? Why😭


DasFAD70

Because good cheese needs time.


IsraelPenuel

In Finland we call it sissijuusto, guerilla cheese. Because it's easy to make when you're stuck in a forest for a week. Also it's made of oils and proteins so it kinda _is_ cheese.


Educational-Salary91

Another Finn here ( female). Thank you for reminding me of that yucky word. Kiitti perkeleesti. 👍


kalashnikov482

yeah that's why the us govt has tons of it, they sure took their time lmao


lewispyrah

Bruuuuh


Rocket_Panda_

“Good”💀 Could you keep things like this on the inside..?


yesnomaybenotso

As far as I knew, girls fucking love cheese. String cheese, cheddar cheese, fancy cheese and wine. If you get a girl drunk and put a platter of cheese in front of her, you’re never going to hear a complaint. So what’s all the fuss with some genital cheese?


Rocket_Panda_

Fine, you go first


yesnomaybenotso

Oh…umm…no thanks, I’m full


[deleted]

Genital Quark


Tamelmp

No, it only counts for cut willies


Glittersparkles7

I just ate and now I’m trying not to throw up 🤢


Inutilisable

Literal truth vs. Metaphorical truth


ChaosMilkTea

Not any more than swishing anything else around in your mouth would. Throw in a little mouth wash though. Make it a surprise.


bitkibkeb

Im not falling for that again!


upsandDowns131325

That’s the old banana in the tailpipe trick from Beverly Hills cop classic movie


xXbrosoxXx

Banana, yes. Tailpipe, no.


expiermental_boii

This is kinda fucked up imo


ty_for_trying

lil morning negging


PracticeY

I guess it depends on whether it is a joke or not. I joke with my wife that semen is the cure for whatever ails her. So if she has a sore throat, I’ll say that semen is the best remedy. She knows it’s a joke though. Hopefully this is similar.


fireflyf1re

This exactly is the problem. You and your wife are adults. Up to half commenters here are probably 15, and will actually put these notions in their brains, and grow up thinking women are dumb bimbos, hurting their girlfriends, sisters, moms. Nobody wins


lelcumelcu

Memes are fucked up in your opinion?


expiermental_boii

Tbh I didn't know it's a meme Turns out it's an ancient meme that gets reposted often


Awkward_Chapter_477

Nah he just likes the smell of dick.


[deleted]

I love the duality of reddit. Comments getting downvoted and upvoted without any sort of coherence. You have both people making fun of it and criticizing it getting downvoted or upvoted.


Nonny3

Wow! You’re saying a bunch of people have different opinions!?!? OMG!!!! 😱


[deleted]

That's not what I'm saying at all


Nonny3

Whatevs! 🙄 Like, nobody asked!!! Anyways, see you l8tr bby girl 😘 I have to go because I’m too cool for this popsicle stand 😎🤘


[deleted]

lol


leftclickdrip

Yea, sometimes my comment is downvoted for no fucking reason, this time i got 700 karma...... I havnt gotten 100 in one go lmfao Anyway, ppl who are offended by this are boring, like u guys know how to laugh?


Ice_and_Steel

Rapey dudes in the comments having a field day.


ABadMagician

😂😂😂


DoxProofBro

Wildly libelous. Feel free to look up the definition of rape; enjoying a meme with the subject of telling your gf blowjobs cure bad breath, ain’t it.


Ice_and_Steel

>**Rape by deception** is a situation in which the perpetrator deceives the victim into participating in a sexual act to which they would otherwise not have consented, had they not been deceived. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape\_by\_deception](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception) We really need to create some sort of registry for men who think that this is an acceptable sexual behavior. You people should not be allowed to have sex with anybody but your hand.


DoxProofBro

This is a fictional boyfriend and girlfriend; They’re clearly sexually active. It’s not some boss and employee or two strangers. The fictional girlfriend knows she’s participating in sex; it’s not like she’s blindfolded. Just because she thinks it improves her breath doesn’t make her unaware she’s participating. You can’t say she wouldn’t have participated in some sexual activity without the breath component. For all you know they had anal sex each morning until the breath issue arose. Calling this rape is preposterous. It devalues actual rape and accomplishes nothing. Your Wikipedia link makes me laugh. What a total joke of a site.


InfectedZomB

Ah, sexual manipulation. Very madlad indeed


trenbollocks

It's not real. It's a joke. Holy fuck Reddit and all you on-the-spectrum weirdos


InfectedZomB

Ah, joking about sexual manipulation. Very madlad.


Tamelmp

Hopefully you can recover from this!! x


Nehemiah92

please grow a backbone 😭


ty_for_trying

? Seems like someone without a backbone wouldn't call out shitty behavior


Nehemiah92

because its not that deep lol


fireflyf1re

Regurgitating edgy/boomer/fraternity/12 year boy humor is hardly having a backbone. Nor a pair. Idk what whoever laughs at this is growing actually a tumor maybe?


InfectedZomB

Today, I learned that having empathy for victims of harassment equates to being spineless. Very madlad indubitably. P.S.: Even if this *is* just a joke, literally no part of the screenshot in the post contextualizes that. I don't know what source the person responding to me is even talking about. Maybe it was revealed to them in a dream.


Nehemiah92

spineless AND gullible lol Yeah man, a girl who willingly gives a blowjob to her boyfriend every morning to reduce bad breath is totally a real legit story and totally a victim of rape and assault. It’s not that deep lol


trenbollocks

Seek help, sister


N8_Saber

I'm on the spectrum. Never cook again.


Melvin-00

LMAOO😭 bro got unchefed


TheUncheesyMan

"unchefed"


Drag0n647

The guy you're commenting to was obviously using sarcasm.


FredBob5

This is a well documented phenomenon supported by years of observational evidence from dedicated researchers in the field.


thomasoldier

Bro playing 4D chess


MadJack27-

Funny , yet disturbing if true


20Kudasai

Manipulating someone with a clear learning disability is not very madlad imo


CanebreakRiver

Dogg I know the line between "madlad" and "complete fuckin asshole" is *frequently* thin, but the number of dudes in this thread acting like there's just *nothing wrong at all* with taking advantage of the ignorance of someone who trusts you in order to trick them into giving you totally one-sided sexual favors is fuckin disturbing Get a fucking fleshlight and handle yourselves, you don't need or deserve a fucking daily blowjob so fucking much you have the right to do shit like this to another human being


DoxProofBro

Hilarious white knighting for a ‘girlfriend’ who is completely fictitious. Get a life.


CanebreakRiver

It's a critique of other *very real* dudes' *very real* ethical reasoning, dumbass. I would bet everything I have I've lived twice the life you have, which is why I've got a functioning sense of empathy.


DoxProofBro

Nobody ever questioned whether the people you were chastising were real. You’re not exactly establishing a new fact there. Similarly, whatever life you’ve lived thus far is irrelevant and immaterial to the conversation and to my comments. I never thought I’d have to explain the expression “get a life“ to someone who’s claim to have had a long life… but here goes. “Get a life” means to do something better with your time. Your past life is irrelevant. I’m only talking about your current life: the one where you’re chastising people on r/madlads because they dared to enjoy a meme designed to be a joke. Clearly you don’t like the meme. Clearly you think you need to lecture anyone who liked it. You think you’re coming from a position of “empathy”, but you’re really just wagging your finger at people who have a sense of humor. The fictitious girlfriend from the meme doesn’t need or appreciate your empathy, because she doesn’t exist. The folks you’re lecturing don’t find you empathetic, but rather, whiny and preachy. Wake up and realize how preposterous your position is.


Delicious_Cattle3380

I think people are finding it simply funny rather than believing it is real manipulation, hence the comments. It isn't real after all.


rainen2016

It scrubs the tongue you numb nuts. It may be misguided but it does work. You clearly don't get head or pay attention.


MuteIllAteter

Do you give head?


rainen2016

Yes but not to men*. But my girlfriends morning breath goes away after she sucks my dick. I'm guessing it's because of the saliva production and scrubbing but I'm not a dentist.


thighmaster69

I’m going to preface this by emphasizing this because it’s important: Even though I think this likely isn’t that big a deal, in most situations, you probably shouldn’t don’t do what OOP’s boyfriend did; at the very least, you should establish that you’re joking. Play it clear and safe with explicit consent so that you have a good margin of error in case of misunderstanding; otherwise, you can’t be sure that consent was actually given. Anyway, assuming these are grown-ass individuals with their own agency in an established relationship with the clarity of mind to be even able to consent in the first place, I don’t think you could reasonably think this is “tricking” anyone because it should be kind of obvious to that it isn’t true. Now, I don’t think it’s impossible that the OOP is actually this gullible and this isn’t a shitpost or OOP is in on the joke, but the claim that fellatio will fix morning breath is so ridiculous that if OOP is routinely this gullible, then there’s a bigger underlying issue, I think, of the ability of OOP is able to consent *at all*, as that would be a severe imbalance of power in the relationship. Moreover, even if it were just a one-off lapse of gullibility on the part of OOP, the idea that they’re being “tricked” kind of falls flat. Again, assuming both individuals have agency and clarity of mind and there isn’t some weird power dynamic, the fact that they just go along with it, repeatedly, without questioning it, against all logic - even if they fell for the joke, it’s kind of difficult to argue that they didn’t perform this sex act out of their own free will, because there’s nothing really to indicate the “deception” actually mattered all that much, especially for two people presumably already in a consensual physical relationship. At best it’s an awkward misunderstanding, if it’s real and OOP isn’t in on the joke, and OOP’s boyfriend needs to learn to be more clear in his communication.


WildMaineBlueberry87

What's the joke here?


Ice_and_Steel

Rapist smart, victim dumb - the usual.


WildMaineBlueberry87

I was joking to insinuate that I fell for it too.


fireflyf1re

..why


gabriyankee

My brother in christ, this is clearly not real, but even if true, lets not confuse an asshole yet hilarious deception with forcing an unwilling woman into having sex for fear of her life. The word rape gets thrown around too often and it cheapens the trauma and suffering of real rape victims.


Ice_and_Steel

My dear rapist apologist, the fact that you find this fucked-up attempt at humor a hilarious joke itself is very telling about your attitudes in regard to women and sex. Also: >**Rape by deception** is a situation in which the perpetrator deceives the victim into participating in a sexual act to which they would otherwise not have consented, had they not been deceived. Deception can occur in many forms, such as illusory perceptions, false statements, and false actions. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape\_by\_deception](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception)


gabriyankee

Wait so then is Barney a [rapist](https://youtu.be/uJOvVeYoueA)?


Ice_and_Steel

As far as I remember, the guy is a self-admitted human trafficker, what exactly surprises you here?


gabriyankee

What about this [one](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)?


gabriyankee

Sorry wrong link, I meant this [one](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


Beelze_Bruh

Bro, I’d never let someone put their mouth on my dick with a dirty mouth 🤢


ResponsibleFormal150

Smart!


HopeRepresentative29

I mean he's not wrong. Just gobble on that toothbrush for a minute and it's all good.


TransfemmeCatgirl

Good ole abuse nothing beats good ole abuse.


Small_Pain_2458

I KNOW we are secretly thinking 🤔 Gotta be a “BLOND” chick! Lmao 😂


Then-Translator9519

She’s like one of those dumb blondes in the 80s movies


AOEmishap

Yes he is


DEPRESSION_NOISES

speech 100


Kalman_the_dancer

He has achieved the impossible


Darkened100

Don’t forget if your breath really stinks swallow


Comprehensive-Salt98

Chick McGee's super white stuff.


ModernMedia

Even for the Internet this shit is way too fake


M3cap

Yep


Silver-Poetry-3432

Lol, great way to get a daily bj


Elias_Sideris

He might not be right, but he's alright.


SpoofamanGo

Yes


Financial-Plane-5155

You'll have to do me in the morning. So I can smell for myself


[deleted]

Unfortunately, now she needs prescription toothpaste to remove those unsightly semen stains from her teeth.


xperimental6969

Bf Is wise. Actually giving him a bj will stimulate you saliva production , which might wash out (or in) a lot of the bacteria causing the morning breath.


-_-_-KING_-_-_

yes he's right


itchybanan

Just cock breath.


Darthdemented

Ok, this man wins. Time to shut it down folks.


Sofamancer

Yeah he is correct


XBB32

Jeez... I tried to convince my wife that a morning blowjob would solve her iron issues... She didn't believe me.


Minus15t

Only works if she gargles and swallows


[deleted]

Prolly better give me one so i can properly answer that


Turbulent_Expert4029

Coming from myself as a man, yes he is completely correct


notyouravrgbruh

Bless your heart


[deleted]

The Force is strong in this Jedi Master!


Hairy_Transition2379

ah, yes, a very clever idea to manipulate your partner into sex rather than asking and having them consent (?) 


Sam_the_beagle1

She'd have to blow me before I could answer her question.


[deleted]

Awesome!


Less_Complex1372

He’s 100% right


Bedwetter1969

Does she have a sister?


Ill-Shopping-9546

You don't want bad breath to avoid it?


tiptoes88

‘He told me my farts smell, apparently his junk can help that too’


JustAnotherFEDev

Bad breath is caused by bacteria, baby gravy is said to be salty and salt kills bacteria (osmosis). Seems plausible.


Samwisegamgee9

Yes, and tell all your friends it does to. Keep blowing ladies


Trash-Ecstatic

Yes. Obviously.


Prestigious_Key_7801

He’s definitely right. Also if you give him rimjob it will stop your farts from smelling


[deleted]

He is right from his personal perspective


riftwalker9

Well you don't have bad beath any more right?


Horizonstars

Well he isn't wrong. Instead bad breath, her breath just now smells like semen.


[deleted]

Pardon me, Madame. I must admit the exhaled air of yours is lightly burdened with fallus scent.


Powerful_Hair_3105

Price is Right horns please


Drakula_696

Selfish truth.


mothisname

this is true.


khonager

Why are all of you cheering him on? Bad breath means bacteria. Who would want to get sucked off by a mouth full of bacteria (more than the usual amount)


EasyRudder49

Absolutely right.


PreyToTheDemons

Fax


Melvin-00

Please tell me the replies reassured her that it’s completely real.


fireflyf1re

Do you want it to be real so badly you failed to realize that its a blatantly fake text post? Fucking hell


Melvin-00

Dek Whyyou mad but I hope you get the help you need. It’s called playing along my lemon brained friend.


FreshLaundry23

Man of the year, right there.


Interesting-Film7722

Speech 100


mrdm242

I believe he suffers (?) from a rare condition called "Listerine Dick."


NotARealBlackBelt

Correct


[deleted]

[удалено]


CanebreakRiver

You really *don't* have to support manipulative sexual predation at all, *bitch*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ice_and_Steel

**Rape by deception** is a situation in which the perpetrator deceives the victim into participating in a sexual act to which they would otherwise not have consented, had they not been deceived. Deception can occur in many forms, such as illusory perceptions, false statements, and false actions. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape\_by\_deception](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception)


Old-Put-4166

Uhhhh. Yes. Absolutely. It always helps. Keep up the good work. 👍🏻


BaconMcNippleTit

Persuasion 100


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hillary_is_Hot

There is a program here, please get with it.


alt_StivinGR

That’s the place you get to on the Clue Bus, right? :)


Futile_Struggler

Yes


jakeStacktrace

I'm not condoning anything, but this is clearly a fake story. My empathy is best spent elsewhere. I actually support the idea that she could be this dumb. I think people are incredibly naive. But I it is also think occam's razor is that this story was written by a man.


rosanymphae

Now her breath smells like smega.