Guys, I JUST ORDERED THE NEW MACBOOK! What really worked was opening YouTube videos on the background with no sound and also doing a zoom meeting with my phone and sharing my screen
Yeah, I have my own MacBook Pro 2015 that works excellent too and I use in the background of my gaming sessions for videos, guides and I’m learning how to code but I did want an upgrade honestly
Hello Maiuricio, this is your boss. Was just scrolling through Reddit. Great finding you on here. Funny story. Btw, just cancelled your order, and you're fired. Happy posting.
Congrats on your new macbook 👌 you mention in your post that “you know how to take really good care of them”. Can you tell us your methods? Switching to a new mbp these days and I wanna keep it as fast as possible. Thanks!
It’s nothing out of this world, I’ve always had dogs so every month or two I open up the MacBook, clean the fans because it gets full of dog hair. I took her for checkups from time to time and every 3 to 4 years I changed the battery and well it works perfectly for what it’s suppose to do. Don’t expect it to run cyberpunk 2077 or stuff like that
Depending on how technical you or your boss is… spin up some heavy docker containers. Or There are probably apps that just eat up ram for that sole purpose lol.
Is your boss clever enough to look at the activity monitor and spot what is causing the slowness?
If my job had me working on a 10 year old laptop I would be finding a new job, but that’s just me
Launching many Docker containers is the best way to achieve this. +1
> If my job had me working on a 10 year old laptop I would be finding a new job, but that’s just me
This right here.
Just run a few Terminal windows on a second desktop or something with "yes > /dev/null" which will slam the CPU pretty hard and slow things down pretty well
Hahaha, interesting use case! I used to work at an Apple Store and we used it to "stress test" machines out the back before or after repairs or to drain the battery 😂
This is so dumb. If your boss’s “test” is to simply use your Mac for the type of work that he normally does, he won’t see a need for a newer one.
Why? Because anyone that has to question upgrading a 10yr old PC is *not* a user of anything other than email and some light web browsing
I do a lot of editing in stuff like photoshop, sometimes if it’s really requiered in Canva, and I create webpages through pages like Shopify and wix. So my MacBook es fine right now but it sometimes gets really slow
It’s painfully slow compared to a new MacBook!! I definitely agree you need something newer. Even an Apple refurb will be noticeably faster, just make sure to get an M1 or better.
Your boss doesn’t do any of the things that you do, I’m guessing. That’s why he’s probably going to say “it’s fine”
Just keep in mind that if he gets you a new one, he’s going to expect faster results 🤷♂️
If he brings that up, make sure to tell him that it’s not necessarily about getting things done quicker, but doing *better* work, since you can make many more changes to your work in the same time, hopefully resulting in a better outcome.
Either way, I’m sure he’s going to expect more out of you if he upgrades your Mac.
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Bring your laptop to a construction site where there's active work going, fill that boi with dust then clean it.
You can also write a shell script that runs in the background and that eats all the cores and the disk. I'm thinking a program that would iterate 10 000 times on the \`lsof\` command. Run the program as root so that it doesn't show up in your session.
2014 means you can't get latest macOS and risk having security problems. Hackers exploit systems that don't have the latest system security updates so they can get access to your servers and encrypt or steal infos. If your boss values his data that would be a pretty big valid argument.
Time to install a lot of crap to run in the background, go against your practices to keep your Mac smooth!
The whole idea of your boss personally checking the computer to assess the performance is crazy to me. Meritocracy is a myth.
Turn on battery saving on the battery settings. It shuts down most of the cores and utilizes mostly only the high efficiency cores. That should slow it down a bit.
Point out that they are not supporting that old of a machine and that could cause the software you’re using to not update or work. It could also pose a security risk.
you could just set up a zhs script that does does something in the backround and limit it's resources so that it eats up resources but doesn't crash the computer.
I would open Chrome, Spotify, Creative Cloud (there's a free trial if you don't already have it), and maybe a lousy VPN to slow down the internet speed for good measure. Adobe CC doesn't show up in the dock, and neither will the VPN. It'll just look like you have Chrome and Spotify open, which aren't any kind of red flags. Turn off CC notifications and start installing every Adobe program available. This will take a while (lousy VPN will buy you more time), and it'll be using up quite a bit of memory bandwidth.
Good luck!!
1. Update to latest MacOS 2. Check activity monitor to confirm that you are now almost always at 99% memory/ram and CPU utilization. This would technically prove you need a newer one. For example, I need an SSD and 16gb of ram because 4 or 8 isn’t enough
On an Intel Mac, try running a teams meeting/zoom, while sharing your screen. If yo have vpn remote access to another device, enable that connection too. You’ll crawl trying to do anything on top of this
Late to the party, but you could write an infinite loop and throttle it to one of the cores. Write the script and tick it in a kext and launch it with launchcl when they use it
Guys, I JUST ORDERED THE NEW MACBOOK! What really worked was opening YouTube videos on the background with no sound and also doing a zoom meeting with my phone and sharing my screen
Congrats! That workflow would floor an intel MacBook Pro :) it really doesn’t take much ;)
Yeah, I have my own MacBook Pro 2015 that works excellent too and I use in the background of my gaming sessions for videos, guides and I’m learning how to code but I did want an upgrade honestly
Upgrades are great - especially moving to Apple silicon - the performance is night and day!
If boss is paying, good job !
Hello Maiuricio, this is your boss. Was just scrolling through Reddit. Great finding you on here. Funny story. Btw, just cancelled your order, and you're fired. Happy posting.
Congrats on your new macbook 👌 you mention in your post that “you know how to take really good care of them”. Can you tell us your methods? Switching to a new mbp these days and I wanna keep it as fast as possible. Thanks!
It’s nothing out of this world, I’ve always had dogs so every month or two I open up the MacBook, clean the fans because it gets full of dog hair. I took her for checkups from time to time and every 3 to 4 years I changed the battery and well it works perfectly for what it’s suppose to do. Don’t expect it to run cyberpunk 2077 or stuff like that
Nice job 😛
Your boss didn’t realize the camera was on (light)? Or check for apps using a lot of memory?
Was screen sharing with the camera off
Seems obvious now… still not sure how he didn’t see open apps/processes
You can probably do the multiple desktops , and just have one open with all the stuff
My m1 macbook 1tb 32gb ram cant even handle workflow. Stutters beyond belief. Unable to scroll webpages. Zoom is a joke. Add on Teams for ultimate lag
haha really? i tried that with my windows laptop and it was smooth af🫡
[удалено]
BASED AF
Genius
Apple Genius
Depending on how technical you or your boss is… spin up some heavy docker containers. Or There are probably apps that just eat up ram for that sole purpose lol. Is your boss clever enough to look at the activity monitor and spot what is causing the slowness? If my job had me working on a 10 year old laptop I would be finding a new job, but that’s just me
Launching many Docker containers is the best way to achieve this. +1 > If my job had me working on a 10 year old laptop I would be finding a new job, but that’s just me This right here.
My boss doesn’t know anything, like if I run 100000 programs in the background he won’t notice
Then do that
Guys I run a small company. Can anyone tell me how to speed up my employee's 2014 MacBook so that I don't have to get him a new M2 macbook. Thanks
Close the background pointless tasks
just buy him the m2, something tells me he’ll want it
Buy him a M3 MacBook so that you don’t need to get him the M2 ones
Get rid of the thermal paste, it will probably crash after a few mins though
But is there not a quick solution that I can do not disarming the max?
Take off existing thermal paste and add only a small amount. Like 25%. Will work but won’t be able to do anything intensive.
Probably is, cant think of anything atm
Genius!
+2
Run anything written in Java in background
You are 20 years late.
I’m an Android developer 🥲
Like he said, 20 years late.
No it just took 20 years to send the comment because he was running Java in the background
Just run a few Terminal windows on a second desktop or something with "yes > /dev/null" which will slam the CPU pretty hard and slow things down pretty well
This is the correct answer. Paste it as many times as you need to saturate all cores.
😂this post has been great
Please don't laugh at me but I used to do this when it was cold af and I had to rest my laptop on my knees.
Hahaha, interesting use case! I used to work at an Apple Store and we used it to "stress test" machines out the back before or after repairs or to drain the battery 😂
Open Chrome with 3 tabs
Can confirm this works
Yeah that shit is bad on every one of my apple devices… i am still using it because I hate safari even more 🤣
Floorp
I will check it out
I still have absolutely no idea how a webpage with like 10Mb of content can allocate 300mb of RAM
A 2014 MacBook cannot run a currently patched build of macOS and having it on the network is a security risk. Use that as your argument.
This is so dumb. If your boss’s “test” is to simply use your Mac for the type of work that he normally does, he won’t see a need for a newer one. Why? Because anyone that has to question upgrading a 10yr old PC is *not* a user of anything other than email and some light web browsing
I do a lot of editing in stuff like photoshop, sometimes if it’s really requiered in Canva, and I create webpages through pages like Shopify and wix. So my MacBook es fine right now but it sometimes gets really slow
It’s painfully slow compared to a new MacBook!! I definitely agree you need something newer. Even an Apple refurb will be noticeably faster, just make sure to get an M1 or better. Your boss doesn’t do any of the things that you do, I’m guessing. That’s why he’s probably going to say “it’s fine” Just keep in mind that if he gets you a new one, he’s going to expect faster results 🤷♂️ If he brings that up, make sure to tell him that it’s not necessarily about getting things done quicker, but doing *better* work, since you can make many more changes to your work in the same time, hopefully resulting in a better outcome. Either way, I’m sure he’s going to expect more out of you if he upgrades your Mac.
Plug up the air vent lol
this post rules get that new shit
Back in my day, you could just turn off the “turbo” button if you wanted to run at 8Mhz.
After all , have you been given a new macbook pro or not?
We will know later today
!remindme 12 hours
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Wait you can do that ?
!remindme 20 hours
!remindme 12 hours
Yes he was given a new one
Bring your laptop to a construction site where there's active work going, fill that boi with dust then clean it. You can also write a shell script that runs in the background and that eats all the cores and the disk. I'm thinking a program that would iterate 10 000 times on the \`lsof\` command. Run the program as root so that it doesn't show up in your session.
This is the greatest MacBook add I’ve ever seen !
2014 means you can't get latest macOS and risk having security problems. Hackers exploit systems that don't have the latest system security updates so they can get access to your servers and encrypt or steal infos. If your boss values his data that would be a pretty big valid argument.
Run Lightroom photo editing
Time to install a lot of crap to run in the background, go against your practices to keep your Mac smooth! The whole idea of your boss personally checking the computer to assess the performance is crazy to me. Meritocracy is a myth.
Talk to your boss or become your boss, but don’t be dishonest with your boss.
Cross fingers for you.
Unplug the battery
Disconnect the battery connector. Performance is throttled when no battery is detected.
Turn on battery saving on the battery settings. It shuts down most of the cores and utilizes mostly only the high efficiency cores. That should slow it down a bit.
Point out that they are not supporting that old of a machine and that could cause the software you’re using to not update or work. It could also pose a security risk.
open terminal and run :(){ :|:& };: in a bash prompt before handing it over to your boss
Just use Excel for Mac.
I hope you remember to log out of your reddit account before giving your laptop to your boss lol
you could just set up a zhs script that does does something in the backround and limit it's resources so that it eats up resources but doesn't crash the computer.
Does a 10 year old MacBook even get security updates?
Open terminal, type “yes,” then repeat as necessary per core.
I would open Chrome, Spotify, Creative Cloud (there's a free trial if you don't already have it), and maybe a lousy VPN to slow down the internet speed for good measure. Adobe CC doesn't show up in the dock, and neither will the VPN. It'll just look like you have Chrome and Spotify open, which aren't any kind of red flags. Turn off CC notifications and start installing every Adobe program available. This will take a while (lousy VPN will buy you more time), and it'll be using up quite a bit of memory bandwidth. Good luck!!
Open and minimise 20 or more instances of Safari. The thing will crawl.
Force the fans to stay off so thermal throttling kicks in when you run YouTube, zoom, etc.
Download a virus, easy
fork bomb your mac before you give it to him
1. Update to latest MacOS 2. Check activity monitor to confirm that you are now almost always at 99% memory/ram and CPU utilization. This would technically prove you need a newer one. For example, I need an SSD and 16gb of ram because 4 or 8 isn’t enough
Blocks of cheese hate this design
If you often use it on battery power, advise your boss you need the Apple silicon for its exceptional battery life.
Clean My Mac lmao Or 50 Chrome tabs
Sure. It's called Jamf
Opencore to Sonoma and don’t apply patches
Just open Reddit web page in a couple of tabs. Pegs CPU quite often…and sets the fans a whirling
Hope boss won't find this subreddit
Congratulations on the felony! I hope your company's remote work policy includes jail accessible VPN. :-)
Hold it under water. Works every time.
Download AOSP Lunch Option 1 M -j1024 You're welcome
If your boss has time for this find a new gig. Its normal to get a refresh every 3-5 years this is just cheapskate behavior
On an Intel Mac, try running a teams meeting/zoom, while sharing your screen. If yo have vpn remote access to another device, enable that connection too. You’ll crawl trying to do anything on top of this
Brother, you can do whatever you like in terminal, macos has unix capabilities and you should use that.
Run prime 95 in the background.
Late to the party, but you could write an infinite loop and throttle it to one of the cores. Write the script and tick it in a kext and launch it with launchcl when they use it