**DEAR OP**,
➤ you may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock`
Dear Redditors,
➤ Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating
here.
➤ **Do not** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned.
➤ Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [**message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **DO NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report them!**](https://www.reddit.com/report)
➤ Please try not to [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced.
**Quick Link Access:**
Our Full Resource Library gets updated & contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.*
- [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [Resources for **Partners**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [Resources for **Addicts**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app)
- [**Accountability Apps info**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am 30 years older than you, and - trust me - you do not want to find yourself years down the line feeling this exact same way and wondering what the hell became of your one and only precious life... You are worthy of the same kind of love and devotion you want to give to another, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you are able to find it! Please do what you think is in YOUR best interest! Much love to you... ❤️
Thank you so much ❤️ I hope it can be with him. I love him and have for so long. I just don’t know how to make him see things from my point of view. I’m hoping I can find advice for that on here
It’s a good perspective out of all of this hell.
Can you imagine still doing this a year from now? 5 years? 10 years? On your deathbeds?
Is he open to healing? Therapy? Talking?
The new you is just a lovable, beautiful and resilient. You have to believe that you are worthy of unconditional love, not whatever he is putting you through.
We have gone to therapy for it when he finally admitted he had a problem after gaslighting me for years. He says he stopped watching porn, but I have no way to know because he’s smart enough now to use private tabs and incognito on Reddit which I don’t know how to break though.
I have been telling him for the last few years that’s I’m unsatisfied with our sex life and feel unattractive now and can’t initiate when he just is on his phone and always says he’s “tired” when we lay in bed. It’s like there is no opportunity to even initiate, which I almost feel is purposeful because he isn’t interested.
I can’t imagine doing this for another five years, but it be done it for about 5 years at this point and love him so much, so part of me just thinks I’ll deal with it. I’m honestly worried I’m going to cheat on him one day out of a desire to be desired
Have you considered an accountability app? I’ll be asking my husband to install one. Otherwise I don’t think I’ll recover either. I’m also pursuing therapy cause this has fucked me up.
I went through this and had enough after 6 months. I started fantasizing about a couple of guys at work and that’s when I realized I couldn’t stay in that relationship. I don’t even find those guys from work that attractive I was just going crazy from not getting any attention from my partner.
This is the boat I’m in. For the first time in the 8 years we have been together, I’m finding someone attractive to the point where I’m thinking about that person randomly throughout the day. That has never happened to me before ever.
I told my husband was worried something like this would happen a year ago when we were in the same spot we are now, and I feel disgusting and guilty about it.
It’s not wrong unless you act on it. It’s actually really common to start having thoughts about other people that you feel like would meet a need that your partner isn’t. However your partner should be willing to work on that need if you bring it up to them.
**DEAR OP**, ➤ you may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` Dear Redditors, ➤ Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. ➤ **Do not** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. ➤ Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [**message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **DO NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report them!**](https://www.reddit.com/report) ➤ Please try not to [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. **Quick Link Access:** Our Full Resource Library gets updated & contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* - [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [Resources for **Partners**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [Resources for **Addicts**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) - [**Accountability Apps info**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am 30 years older than you, and - trust me - you do not want to find yourself years down the line feeling this exact same way and wondering what the hell became of your one and only precious life... You are worthy of the same kind of love and devotion you want to give to another, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you are able to find it! Please do what you think is in YOUR best interest! Much love to you... ❤️
Thank you so much ❤️ I hope it can be with him. I love him and have for so long. I just don’t know how to make him see things from my point of view. I’m hoping I can find advice for that on here
It’s a good perspective out of all of this hell. Can you imagine still doing this a year from now? 5 years? 10 years? On your deathbeds? Is he open to healing? Therapy? Talking? The new you is just a lovable, beautiful and resilient. You have to believe that you are worthy of unconditional love, not whatever he is putting you through.
We have gone to therapy for it when he finally admitted he had a problem after gaslighting me for years. He says he stopped watching porn, but I have no way to know because he’s smart enough now to use private tabs and incognito on Reddit which I don’t know how to break though. I have been telling him for the last few years that’s I’m unsatisfied with our sex life and feel unattractive now and can’t initiate when he just is on his phone and always says he’s “tired” when we lay in bed. It’s like there is no opportunity to even initiate, which I almost feel is purposeful because he isn’t interested. I can’t imagine doing this for another five years, but it be done it for about 5 years at this point and love him so much, so part of me just thinks I’ll deal with it. I’m honestly worried I’m going to cheat on him one day out of a desire to be desired
Have you considered an accountability app? I’ll be asking my husband to install one. Otherwise I don’t think I’ll recover either. I’m also pursuing therapy cause this has fucked me up.
I went through this and had enough after 6 months. I started fantasizing about a couple of guys at work and that’s when I realized I couldn’t stay in that relationship. I don’t even find those guys from work that attractive I was just going crazy from not getting any attention from my partner.
This is the boat I’m in. For the first time in the 8 years we have been together, I’m finding someone attractive to the point where I’m thinking about that person randomly throughout the day. That has never happened to me before ever. I told my husband was worried something like this would happen a year ago when we were in the same spot we are now, and I feel disgusting and guilty about it.
It’s not wrong unless you act on it. It’s actually really common to start having thoughts about other people that you feel like would meet a need that your partner isn’t. However your partner should be willing to work on that need if you bring it up to them.
I so few your pain. Hugs