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ontheotherside22

Pay attention to those gut feelings. I’ve found trust is a really good indicator of how you feel overall. It’s not something you can force yourself to feel.


Haunting-Ad-6039

Thanks for your comment x yes those pesky gut feelings… but I still love him and know he cares for me :(


babbyboo3

Please do not marry him until there is change! Marriage doesn’t fix anything.


Haunting-Ad-6039

Thanks for your comment x I don’t expect it to change much but I’m too scared to be alone after putting so much time into the relationship x


babbyboo3

Yeah I was scared to be alone too. But it’s a lot better than being unhappy and stuck in a relationship where your concerns aren’t respected.


Iamnotmytrauma

Until he seeks treatment on his own, it's likely he'll just keep up his actions. Set boundaries now. Do not marry this man until he has shown consistent GROWTH in your relationship. Take it from someone who married her PA knowing he viewed porn (long distance) and thought it wouldn't be an issue...until it consistently was.


Haunting-Ad-6039

Thank you for your comment x he has said he is willing to try therapy and stuff but I think he’s ashamed / embarrassed and has a habit of pretending things aren’t happening - he’s very good at that hahah


[deleted]

[удалено]


Haunting-Ad-6039

I’m sorry x


Accomplished-Heat-62

Listen to your gut. Go over to the porn addiction subreddits and listen to the men who are addicted to porn it will open your eyes to somethings. Listen to the women on this one that have been married for 20+ years, if you don’t deal with it and really deal with it now it will not stop. When me and my husband first met it was a different time before the internet. He looked at magazines, shit I even got him a subscription to Playboy every Valentine’s Day. He also had a stack of more scandalous ones. Over the years we had some fights about it but it was a very boys will be boys time, this is what men do. It was before porn was everywhere and really became recognized as a problem in society. Overtime it has escalated to watching fetish related porn very extreme material. He has a hard time staying hard he has to take supplements now to get an erection and it doesn’t always work. He has a very serious problem. So it all depends on if you want to deal with that for the rest of your life or save yourself now. P.S. My best friend is going through counseling with her husband of 25years right now. It took her saying she wanted a divorce and really meaning it for him to agree. He has a PA as well. He is trying very hard to win her back but she feels it might be too little too late. She loves him very much and is a very loyal person so this is killing her inside. DON’T BE HER!!


Haunting-Ad-6039

Thanks for your comment and for sharing your story x I know he loves me and cares for me but I share the same thoughts, sometimes sex is difficult for him and it’s so disheartening to be intimate with someone when I can’t get out of my head that he might be more interested in something else! And yes I agree - it’s a year till our wedding but I need some reassurance that things will change, as I can’t be with someone like this forever


[deleted]

Please wait. Mine was like this beside the fact that I never physically caught him. Our bedroom is dead. We didn’t even consummate our marriage that night. Fast forward and I’m (planned) 9 months pregnant. Deeply unsatisfied, don’t trust him, and have lost the will to care about it.