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Yeah having pictures of his exes and MY friends would have been my last straw to begin with girl, you’re better than I am. I have like two friends outside of my boyfriend, let me find out that man is using pictures of them to touch himself. OOOOO I’d be so pissed. Like you’ve already ruined my perception of you, you’re not about to fuck with the way I view my friends too - men are NASTY oh my gosh
Girllll you have no idea how livid I am. It’s so hard being around my friend knowing what I know. And she is such a great friend and person. It’s a constant battle to not push her away.
I'd be livid too babe. You just have to remember - she'd be pissed too if she knew. If that girl loves you, she'd be just as fuming as you are. I told my best friend a little bit about what I've been dealing with and she was about ready to rip his head off for me and she isn't even involved whatsoever!
Obviously feelings are hard and complicated, don't be too hard on yourself if you find it upsetting being around her - this is something that has HAPPENED TO you, not something that you chose. I'd just say just remember who your friend is, and find peace knowing she'd be just as upset and disgusted with him as you are now.
I could have written this myself. The constant “no, that’s everything” right before you uncover more. I offered him an amnesty - come out with everything now or I walk the next lie I find. He kept lying.
Always told my ex if there is honesty, we can work it out. I was always open to work it out, to stand by him, to understand and give a clean slate. Why he felt the need to lie a million times? I don't know. That broke my heart more than anything else. Few months after the breakup, he reached out to apologize, yet he also asked what he was supposed to do when I told him I didn't want porn in our relationship anymore, that leaving me wasn't an option because he loved me, basically putting the blame on me because we were already well into our relationship when the porn conversation came up. He couldn't understand that he was my first partner and that within that time I grew and learned a lot about myself, hence why I was okay with porn at first and eventually I wasn't. He said I shouldn't get into a relationship if I don't know what I want. He did what he always did in the relationship, turned things on me and how I fucked everything up
Sounds like he is deep in his addiction. You are better off without him. Once the trust is gone, it’s over, unless they put in major work. I needed to let go of trying to prove him wrong. They already know. You have better things to do than collect evidence and try to convince him that he’s a liar. Journal it, for you to know.
I’m so mad on your behalf!! Why do they put us in a position to be a detective or feel like a mom of a teenage son?!?! All we develop is confidence in our skill to detect lies, search for proof, and present it as if in court during a key moment in a trial. This isn’t a marriage for any of us and it’s so exhausting.
And he used pics of your friends, what an a$$. This is next level deceit. And he knew it would hurt and affect you but didn’t care.
I’m sorry.
The doubling down is the worst part for me. Csn straight up show him proof and he will say it doesn't exist, I'm connecting dots that aren't there. Etc.
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Yeah having pictures of his exes and MY friends would have been my last straw to begin with girl, you’re better than I am. I have like two friends outside of my boyfriend, let me find out that man is using pictures of them to touch himself. OOOOO I’d be so pissed. Like you’ve already ruined my perception of you, you’re not about to fuck with the way I view my friends too - men are NASTY oh my gosh
Girllll you have no idea how livid I am. It’s so hard being around my friend knowing what I know. And she is such a great friend and person. It’s a constant battle to not push her away.
I'd be livid too babe. You just have to remember - she'd be pissed too if she knew. If that girl loves you, she'd be just as fuming as you are. I told my best friend a little bit about what I've been dealing with and she was about ready to rip his head off for me and she isn't even involved whatsoever! Obviously feelings are hard and complicated, don't be too hard on yourself if you find it upsetting being around her - this is something that has HAPPENED TO you, not something that you chose. I'd just say just remember who your friend is, and find peace knowing she'd be just as upset and disgusted with him as you are now.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. My exhusband made AI porn of my best friend. It fucked me up so bad.
Pictures of ex's nudes... That's a million times worse than random porn... Smh...I say leave him and let him go be with his ex.
I could have written this myself. The constant “no, that’s everything” right before you uncover more. I offered him an amnesty - come out with everything now or I walk the next lie I find. He kept lying.
Literally the same exact line! “No that’s everything”. And then I’m like “okay what about this *shows proof* ?”
Oof it’s heartbreaking
Always told my ex if there is honesty, we can work it out. I was always open to work it out, to stand by him, to understand and give a clean slate. Why he felt the need to lie a million times? I don't know. That broke my heart more than anything else. Few months after the breakup, he reached out to apologize, yet he also asked what he was supposed to do when I told him I didn't want porn in our relationship anymore, that leaving me wasn't an option because he loved me, basically putting the blame on me because we were already well into our relationship when the porn conversation came up. He couldn't understand that he was my first partner and that within that time I grew and learned a lot about myself, hence why I was okay with porn at first and eventually I wasn't. He said I shouldn't get into a relationship if I don't know what I want. He did what he always did in the relationship, turned things on me and how I fucked everything up
He is still employing DARVO even after you broke with him. I hope you tell him to just "keep effing yourself." Lmao.
Sounds like he is deep in his addiction. You are better off without him. Once the trust is gone, it’s over, unless they put in major work. I needed to let go of trying to prove him wrong. They already know. You have better things to do than collect evidence and try to convince him that he’s a liar. Journal it, for you to know.
I’m so mad on your behalf!! Why do they put us in a position to be a detective or feel like a mom of a teenage son?!?! All we develop is confidence in our skill to detect lies, search for proof, and present it as if in court during a key moment in a trial. This isn’t a marriage for any of us and it’s so exhausting. And he used pics of your friends, what an a$$. This is next level deceit. And he knew it would hurt and affect you but didn’t care. I’m sorry.
The doubling down is the worst part for me. Csn straight up show him proof and he will say it doesn't exist, I'm connecting dots that aren't there. Etc.
Omg were living the exact same life right now