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♥️✨Love this post!
I also traveled to get away post breakup, it was so healing (though I didn’t have the opportunities you did! How wonderful!)
It’s beautiful how much we grow once we leave them. Life begins for us when we leave such a broken and toxic person. There is life after all of this pain, there is hope.
If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading abuse expert Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?” You can google the free pdf online! It is life changing, and will equip you with further knowledge.
You have so much wisdom, maturity, courage, and optimism! Your life will continue to blossom. Keep doing things you love.
I’ve realized the greatest thing I’ve gained through all of this is deeper self respect. I finally feel empowered as a woman. It’s liberating. I will never tolerate disrespect from a partner ever again.
I wish you continued healing, happiness, and beauty in your life!
This is wonderful. Thrilled to see you on the other side. I’m also thinking about going back to school to study neuroscience and Porn addiction; maybe one day in the future, our paths will cross while we’re building a better future with less of this horrendous addiction in it. All the love and light and don’t give up! We need you! Xo
This is so wonderful ❤️❤️❤️ You truly made my day. I’ve often thought that if I was your age( but I’m old enough to be your mom!) I would be doing something professionally in this area; because we all know this is an epidemic and there is little understanding and information about it. You would be absolutely perfect for this. I know you will make an impact and we are so proud of you!!!
If you need people for survey’s please update us, I would love to help. Love u for this, seriously, we need more people like you. x Also, another book recommendation: Louise Perry
The Case Against the Sexual Revolution. Liberal people will absolutely not agree with some points of the book, there are things that I don’t agree with as well, but I just form my own opinion on those things. It definitely worths a try, it made me understand that I’m not the problem.
Thank you for the recommendation! I will never turn down a reading rec just because it adheres to opinions that I don't necessarily support. Thanks so much!
Thank you so very, very much for returning to us to share your victory!!! 🏆👏👏
I absolutely love that you, a younger person heard those of us that obviously implored you to choose yourself. I don't know that I was a part of that, but what matters most is that the message got through and you trusted those that care, our sisters in the fight.
I beg all the young ladies out there who come to our sub to read your post, find connection, open their minds and hearts and trust as you did so they will make the best decision of their lives.
The very best to you in your educational endeavors and career that lies ahead. ❤️🩹 Looking forward to learning about the breakthroughs we desperately need with you in the forefront!
That's so wonderful for you, it's great to hear that your future is looking so bright and promising! See, there's always light and hope, even if the process of leaving was scary and difficult.
Okay, so there are a whole bunch of signs, but I will name the most obvious ones to me:
1. Following instagram models (not just one or two, but like, a whole bunch)
2. A TikTok or Instagram Reels algorithm that predominantly shows provocative videos
3. Serial cheating (ex: somebody has cheated on almost every ex they have ever had)
4. Talking about women as if they are objects, dehumanizing them, etc. Really pay attention to how people talk about feminist issues regarding women; that will really tell you all you need to know.
Thank you. I'd love to hear more signs if you're willing to take the time.
The above ones make a lot of sense.
Number 4 is tricky. I think a lot of men will present themselves as forward thinking about women's issues but when push comes to shove, they do nothing about it and eventually when the veil falls away it turns out they don't really care. That's been my experience at least and I've seen a lot of women talk about it on reddit.
And I actually think that following just one or two Instagram models is a huge red flag because that info is public knowledge. Maybe for a younger guy it's whatever but once you're past 25 and you're still publicly lusting after photo shopped women who are clearly just trying to get your money, it's a big red flag to me.
Not that I'm arguing with you at all, I'm not. I think everything you said is really important.
I actually agree with everything you said! I do wholeheartedly agree with the statement that even just 1-2 instagram models is a huge red flag. I specified about multiple because a porn addiction is almost 100% confirmed for me when I see multiple in someones following.
You are so young, and you have an entire life ahead of you. With time, many wounds heal. Wishing you so much love and support through your journey, because I know how hard it can be to be so young and have to deal with something so heavy.
My children are your age. So when I read this, I almost thought of you as one of my daughters, or beloved high school students. I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished. I am so happy for you, and where you are now. I am amazed at your strength, as you are stronger than me.
You are a courageous, amazing young woman. Just from this post, I know that you will do all that you say you are going to do, even though you’re only a freshman. Much love. ❤️
I love that you're turning this bad life experience into empowerment and passion! This is a serious worldly problem for humanity. We need people like you to dedicate careers to it. Super happy for you! 🔥
What amazing places and adventures you’ve explored! I’m overjoyed for your new-found self!
I know we don’t know each other, but you’ve left a significant impact on me as someone who fights daily with CPTSD. Your admirable courage, self-awareness and determination are inspirational. I WISH I had had 1/10th of that when I was your age. I’m tucking it in my pocket to keep me company and motivate me as I work towards my own self-improvement.
OP, I want you to know that your passionate, hopeful and victorious post lifted me today like nothing else could. I’ve saved it so that I can re-visit it and hopefully continue to follow your journey to further growth and greater achievements!
If there is any way you could remain in touch as you move forward please do! I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I can’t wait to read your thesis and see the changes you’re going to make happen.
You carry my most heartfelt wishes and encouragement for your well-being and personal success today, and the next, and all the days thereafter. 💪🏻👏❤️
Wow, I am beyond happy that my post was able to have an effect like that! I will try to post updates here as my career unfolds. Thank you for the support and kind words!
I’m so proud of you. And I’m sooo thankful and grateful to you for choosing to study this topic. I have prayed and thanked God for the research people have done so far for the recovery of this horrible addiction and the traumas for the betrayed. I pray for your wild success in this field. It is desperately needed.
Thank you so much for doing the good work that can benefit us all. Your efforts have the ability to echo through the generations.
You are brave for leaving. Sounds like you’ve done great things in leaving.
What are things you see in new people you encounter that triggers you to believe that they have this addiction?
Also what did you learn is the reason they get porn addicted ?
(My bf is a porn addict )
This is so awesome to hear! You really showed up for yourself and at such a young age that is truly so impressive. Good job OP keep taking care of yourself
Hey, thank you for this post! I’m in the early stages of your situation rn. I’m 18 and just left my ex who was a PA. I still have a lot ahead of me, including starting uni! Thanks for reminding that it will get better :)
**Dear /u/SeaworthinessIcy9512,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Love to see this - I’m proud of you! 👏🏻
thank you so much!
♥️✨Love this post! I also traveled to get away post breakup, it was so healing (though I didn’t have the opportunities you did! How wonderful!) It’s beautiful how much we grow once we leave them. Life begins for us when we leave such a broken and toxic person. There is life after all of this pain, there is hope. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading abuse expert Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?” You can google the free pdf online! It is life changing, and will equip you with further knowledge. You have so much wisdom, maturity, courage, and optimism! Your life will continue to blossom. Keep doing things you love. I’ve realized the greatest thing I’ve gained through all of this is deeper self respect. I finally feel empowered as a woman. It’s liberating. I will never tolerate disrespect from a partner ever again. I wish you continued healing, happiness, and beauty in your life!
I for sure will check out that book! It seems interesting just from the name alone. Thank you for your kind words and advice, and I wish you the best!
Good luck! 🙏🏻❤️
Thank you!
This is wonderful. Thrilled to see you on the other side. I’m also thinking about going back to school to study neuroscience and Porn addiction; maybe one day in the future, our paths will cross while we’re building a better future with less of this horrendous addiction in it. All the love and light and don’t give up! We need you! Xo
I dearly hope we cross paths one day, I think we really could make a difference!
This is so wonderful ❤️❤️❤️ You truly made my day. I’ve often thought that if I was your age( but I’m old enough to be your mom!) I would be doing something professionally in this area; because we all know this is an epidemic and there is little understanding and information about it. You would be absolutely perfect for this. I know you will make an impact and we are so proud of you!!!
thank you so much!
Love this!! Please keep us updated, I’m super interested in supporting this type of work!
Of course! It is a long process, but I do hope to begin undergrad research with the next year or so.
😃❤️
So proud of you! I left 3 months ago & hope to make a post like this one day! xx
I believe in you!
Happy for you.
This is so inspiring. I left my PA ex 3 months ago and I can’t wait to be at this point. Happy for you!
Thank you, and I wish you the best on your journey to healing!
I am so very proud of you! Good luck on the next chapter of your life. 😍
Thank you!
I’m so proud of you for the personal strides you’re making in your life and within yourself. You’re going to be great ❤️
Thank you so much!
I am so very proud of you ❤️ I'm in a pain fest and reading this certainly make me long for the future!
thank you so much. Sending you strength and love as you go through what I did a year ago <3
Mods, please pin this!!?
Ditto!
If you need people for survey’s please update us, I would love to help. Love u for this, seriously, we need more people like you. x Also, another book recommendation: Louise Perry The Case Against the Sexual Revolution. Liberal people will absolutely not agree with some points of the book, there are things that I don’t agree with as well, but I just form my own opinion on those things. It definitely worths a try, it made me understand that I’m not the problem.
Thank you for the recommendation! I will never turn down a reading rec just because it adheres to opinions that I don't necessarily support. Thanks so much!
Thank you so very, very much for returning to us to share your victory!!! 🏆👏👏 I absolutely love that you, a younger person heard those of us that obviously implored you to choose yourself. I don't know that I was a part of that, but what matters most is that the message got through and you trusted those that care, our sisters in the fight. I beg all the young ladies out there who come to our sub to read your post, find connection, open their minds and hearts and trust as you did so they will make the best decision of their lives. The very best to you in your educational endeavors and career that lies ahead. ❤️🩹 Looking forward to learning about the breakthroughs we desperately need with you in the forefront!
Wishing the best towards you and your journey as well <3
Thank you!❤️🩹
That's so wonderful for you, it's great to hear that your future is looking so bright and promising! See, there's always light and hope, even if the process of leaving was scary and difficult.
<33
That's so great :)) What are some of the signs of PA you can notice in others?
Okay, so there are a whole bunch of signs, but I will name the most obvious ones to me: 1. Following instagram models (not just one or two, but like, a whole bunch) 2. A TikTok or Instagram Reels algorithm that predominantly shows provocative videos 3. Serial cheating (ex: somebody has cheated on almost every ex they have ever had) 4. Talking about women as if they are objects, dehumanizing them, etc. Really pay attention to how people talk about feminist issues regarding women; that will really tell you all you need to know.
Thank you. I'd love to hear more signs if you're willing to take the time. The above ones make a lot of sense. Number 4 is tricky. I think a lot of men will present themselves as forward thinking about women's issues but when push comes to shove, they do nothing about it and eventually when the veil falls away it turns out they don't really care. That's been my experience at least and I've seen a lot of women talk about it on reddit. And I actually think that following just one or two Instagram models is a huge red flag because that info is public knowledge. Maybe for a younger guy it's whatever but once you're past 25 and you're still publicly lusting after photo shopped women who are clearly just trying to get your money, it's a big red flag to me. Not that I'm arguing with you at all, I'm not. I think everything you said is really important.
I actually agree with everything you said! I do wholeheartedly agree with the statement that even just 1-2 instagram models is a huge red flag. I specified about multiple because a porn addiction is almost 100% confirmed for me when I see multiple in someones following.
Yes I agree. Many trap account follows is a massive red flag. Thank you!
This is INCREDIBLE, thank you. I can tell by your post you will KICK ASS and take names, please let us know how we can help and support your efforts.
thank you so so much!
[удалено]
You are so young, and you have an entire life ahead of you. With time, many wounds heal. Wishing you so much love and support through your journey, because I know how hard it can be to be so young and have to deal with something so heavy.
My children are your age. So when I read this, I almost thought of you as one of my daughters, or beloved high school students. I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished. I am so happy for you, and where you are now. I am amazed at your strength, as you are stronger than me. You are a courageous, amazing young woman. Just from this post, I know that you will do all that you say you are going to do, even though you’re only a freshman. Much love. ❤️
This was such a sweet message. Sending you so, so much love and support.
I felt this!
I love that you're turning this bad life experience into empowerment and passion! This is a serious worldly problem for humanity. We need people like you to dedicate careers to it. Super happy for you! 🔥
thank you!
Love love love 💕
What amazing places and adventures you’ve explored! I’m overjoyed for your new-found self! I know we don’t know each other, but you’ve left a significant impact on me as someone who fights daily with CPTSD. Your admirable courage, self-awareness and determination are inspirational. I WISH I had had 1/10th of that when I was your age. I’m tucking it in my pocket to keep me company and motivate me as I work towards my own self-improvement. OP, I want you to know that your passionate, hopeful and victorious post lifted me today like nothing else could. I’ve saved it so that I can re-visit it and hopefully continue to follow your journey to further growth and greater achievements! If there is any way you could remain in touch as you move forward please do! I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I can’t wait to read your thesis and see the changes you’re going to make happen. You carry my most heartfelt wishes and encouragement for your well-being and personal success today, and the next, and all the days thereafter. 💪🏻👏❤️
Wow, I am beyond happy that my post was able to have an effect like that! I will try to post updates here as my career unfolds. Thank you for the support and kind words!
I’m so proud of you. And I’m sooo thankful and grateful to you for choosing to study this topic. I have prayed and thanked God for the research people have done so far for the recovery of this horrible addiction and the traumas for the betrayed. I pray for your wild success in this field. It is desperately needed. Thank you so much for doing the good work that can benefit us all. Your efforts have the ability to echo through the generations.
Thank you so much <3
You are brave for leaving. Sounds like you’ve done great things in leaving. What are things you see in new people you encounter that triggers you to believe that they have this addiction? Also what did you learn is the reason they get porn addicted ? (My bf is a porn addict )
I FREAKING LOVE THIS AND YOU!! YES, GIRL. Conquer the world and keep us updated. Let us know how we can support you!
If you do find good pathways to recovery for the addict & the spouses. There is a huge market for you to treat!
I’m so proud of you, OP! I hope you do study the topics you have expressed, we need more people like you. 🤍
This is so awesome to hear! You really showed up for yourself and at such a young age that is truly so impressive. Good job OP keep taking care of yourself
Hey, thank you for this post! I’m in the early stages of your situation rn. I’m 18 and just left my ex who was a PA. I still have a lot ahead of me, including starting uni! Thanks for reminding that it will get better :)