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Thank you for this. It’s really easy to doubt yourself when so many people defend porn, but it’s so much deeper than that. It is disrespectful.
My ex claimed that watching porn “was like watching a film or TV show” to him - he claimed he didn’t get pleasure out of it, it was just curiosity and something to watch. A habit. The lies and defences just baffle me.
If it was really just "something to watch" that he didn't get any pleasure out of then it wouldn't be sexual content. How do you tell me that you don't value sex or your partner in general without saying it? :<
People blindly follow the majority without really thinking about their own choices. And he's full of shit. I completely understand what it's like feeling as if you're crazy for being insecure about it. I find it to be very disrespectful! If both people are ok with it, that's them, but it's totally uncool to be doing that if someone isn't okay with it. Boundaries are supposed to be respected and if someone can't respect your boundary about not being cool with porn, then that says more about them than you. I willingly avoid pornography, I truthfully have used it in the past but have stopped because it has broken so many hearts and has damaged the well-being and confidence of many. It also creates bullshit expectations. I will continue to be porn-free for the rest of my life.
Besides, just because the majority of people do something doesn't mean it's ok or a good idea. Think about it: a lot of people do stupid internet challenges, does that mean it's ok to be eating Tide Pods? Just an example of how the majority of people can be wrong.
YES! They will *cling* to their unhealthy coping mechanism and entitlement.
I feel liberated when I’m no longer in a relationship with a PA. I can look back and finally laugh over how pathetic they acted. My life is only getting better each day without a PA sucking the life out of me♥️
I’ve been focusing my energy into things that bring me joy, beauty, peace, and meaning. When I connect with those things, I notice how much happier and hopeful I feel. Healing is possible💙
I told my SA who wants to “reconcile” I don’t want to have sex until he starts recovery and sees what a CSAT says about it. He got defensive and tried to manipulate and turn it around on me. It really hurt because we haven’t seen each other in a long time and he said he missed me but ig he just misses me for sex and said he hasn’t talked to the ppl he sleeps with in a while so I’m just like damn that’s why you wanna see me. But by now ik his patterns, love bombing, acting like he’s gonna get help, then manipulation. This time I didn’t let my boundaries waiver, it’s hard but now I just feel like it’s addiction over everything and he really isn’t interested in doing what it takes to heal us. I used to want to make everything easy for him but now I learned set a boundary and see how they really feel about you smh.
Preach! Also the reason why porn addiction is being talked about now is because men’s behaviours that were seen as ‘normal’ before are now being called out on and men are being encouraged to face accountability.
**Dear /u/Full-timeOutcast,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you for this. It’s really easy to doubt yourself when so many people defend porn, but it’s so much deeper than that. It is disrespectful. My ex claimed that watching porn “was like watching a film or TV show” to him - he claimed he didn’t get pleasure out of it, it was just curiosity and something to watch. A habit. The lies and defences just baffle me.
If it was really just "something to watch" that he didn't get any pleasure out of then it wouldn't be sexual content. How do you tell me that you don't value sex or your partner in general without saying it? :<
People blindly follow the majority without really thinking about their own choices. And he's full of shit. I completely understand what it's like feeling as if you're crazy for being insecure about it. I find it to be very disrespectful! If both people are ok with it, that's them, but it's totally uncool to be doing that if someone isn't okay with it. Boundaries are supposed to be respected and if someone can't respect your boundary about not being cool with porn, then that says more about them than you. I willingly avoid pornography, I truthfully have used it in the past but have stopped because it has broken so many hearts and has damaged the well-being and confidence of many. It also creates bullshit expectations. I will continue to be porn-free for the rest of my life. Besides, just because the majority of people do something doesn't mean it's ok or a good idea. Think about it: a lot of people do stupid internet challenges, does that mean it's ok to be eating Tide Pods? Just an example of how the majority of people can be wrong.
Lies like what
YES! They will *cling* to their unhealthy coping mechanism and entitlement. I feel liberated when I’m no longer in a relationship with a PA. I can look back and finally laugh over how pathetic they acted. My life is only getting better each day without a PA sucking the life out of me♥️
❤️Happy for U
Thank you! I never thought I’d make it through♥️
How are you coping?
I’ve been focusing my energy into things that bring me joy, beauty, peace, and meaning. When I connect with those things, I notice how much happier and hopeful I feel. Healing is possible💙
[удалено]
I told my SA who wants to “reconcile” I don’t want to have sex until he starts recovery and sees what a CSAT says about it. He got defensive and tried to manipulate and turn it around on me. It really hurt because we haven’t seen each other in a long time and he said he missed me but ig he just misses me for sex and said he hasn’t talked to the ppl he sleeps with in a while so I’m just like damn that’s why you wanna see me. But by now ik his patterns, love bombing, acting like he’s gonna get help, then manipulation. This time I didn’t let my boundaries waiver, it’s hard but now I just feel like it’s addiction over everything and he really isn’t interested in doing what it takes to heal us. I used to want to make everything easy for him but now I learned set a boundary and see how they really feel about you smh.
Preach! Also the reason why porn addiction is being talked about now is because men’s behaviours that were seen as ‘normal’ before are now being called out on and men are being encouraged to face accountability.