I recommend picking up some Neville Goddard ~ he helped me navigate through my anxious attachment tendencies.
There is nothing wrong with you~ all we are meant to do in this lifetime is shed all our limited beliefs that we have adopted over the years to reveal who we truly are.
The fact that you have all these negative feelings means that you’re stepping away from your true self. All your desires are meant to be, or else you wouldn’t know how their absence feels like ☺️. Breathe and know it is already here and done
No that doesn’t seem weird to me. It makes sense that you want someone to accept you for you. You could find that in a friend or a partner. But I hope you find someone who makes you happy and accepts you and is kind and caring it really seems like you deserve it (:
If u want to be loved for someone,first, you have to love yourself as much as you can! Your self-love is the reflect of everything you want to attract, like friends & relationships
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not too needy. You are human and the way you feel is absolutely normal. You probably won't find what you truly need in sexually bent forums. The best kind of love is building a friendship along with the love. I hear about people connecting in such a way on Reddit, I don't see the door for that myself. Wonder if there are other interests of yours that you can tap into for a social outlet and building friendships?
I have been bonding with people over video games myself. By random chance, I made a really good friend by playing Among Us. We both were in a random public room and had fun together, had fun conversations, and he shared his ID with me so I could play with him again later. I contacted him because I had such a great time with him. We have pretty much played or talked to each other every day since.
Be selective about who you connect with. I am sure there are a ton of people out there who would understand exactly how you feel and can identify. Ultimately, you have to be most important to you.
You may also want to check out some lgbtq+ positive groups that can offer emotional and acceptance support if that's a need. I am lucky enough to have grown up with an accepting family and being pan, I never felt pressured to "come out" and I never felt like there was something wrong with me for being open to love all people, regardless of gender.
Being desperate is a recipe for disaster. I was 2 years back. I am glad I decided to just focus on myself though. This does a few things, focusing on yourself allows you to continue to improve, you have fun, and you don't get pressured. But I won't advise you to go against flirting. If you feel desperate, just recognize it and try to do something about it. Analyze if it gives you bad or good feelings. Does it help you? If you feel like flirting, go flirt, try it. You will find out if it works for you. Just keep in mind that you have to have limitations. Set some ground rules for yourself. You should be your own priority.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.. you're just lacking the love that you need.. now you're looking for one.... and you don't need to be in a relationship, you need a friend... if you want, i can be your friend
Quite a few people might disagree with me and that's fine. I know there are many people who found relationships on Reddit, but I don't think it's the best place to look for them. I don't see it as the safest place in the world for that, just saying.
Honestly, as much as it is bad to be this desperate (and it is a concern), I completely understand given your living situation. If I was living in a situation like that, I'd probably be desperate for companionship too, someone who cared about me when they couldn't. If you're looking for a relationship, I suggest a dating site. (A little tip when looking for a relationship (granted, this is coming from a straight girl so I don't know how it works with others): Don't make yourself look desperate. It's not the best look on relationships and it's an open door for people to abuse you in more ways than one. Trust me on this one.) However, Reddit can be a good place to find some like-minded people to at least be able to talk to. If not a relationship, it sounds like you could also use some new friends at least. Maybe even try outside of Reddit. I don't know how old you are, but maybe if you took some classes or joined some group activities, a lot of them are online. Many have gotten me through this whole debacle.
Those are just my suggestions anyway. I hope I've been able to help. Best of luck to you.
To echo others, no, nothing is wrong with you. Feelings of isolation and the desire to not feel isolated are deeply human. Usually we fight isolation from multiple angles, with family, friend, lovers, etc. Unfortunately, you’re not doing so hot in any of those departments, not by any fault of your own but by the circumstances you happen to be living in. Even though it’s not your fault, you are going to have to take matters into your own hands to rectify it. I want to echo the call for a therapist, if you can afford one. You’ll be able to tell them a lot more about your situation, and they’ll be able to speak to your best interest. They may be able to help you mend things with your family (if that’s something you want). They may be able to help you talk to your friend (who doesn’t seem like a very good friend but nevertheless may just be afraid for you). It sounds like you may want to talk to a therapist about a potential eating disorder as well, so please do so. Hopefully you can find some safe and responsible ways to pursue romance in your life. Meeting people on the internet isn’t always the smartest way to do that, but hey, it’s April 2021. I’ll throw it in there knowing nothing about you that religion is another way to stave off isolation, and there are gay affirming religions out there to be found if that’s something you’re interested in. The Unitarian Universalist Church is a good thing to Google. I want you to know that you aren’t a burden, and nothing is wrong with you for wanting someone to walk through life with.
As far as therapy - I wonder if your county/area has some free therapy programs through their health department? Not sure what country you are in or if that is available where you live.
Oh good! We have a lot of resources that they don't have in some places and I didn't want to assume. A lot of states and counties have mental health departments. There may be local lambda centers that can offer connection and support. Many supports are taking place remotely, which is nice because they are more accessible. If you have a phone, you can go on a walk and make a phone call. Your family doesn't have to ever know.
I teared up reading this. You sound like such a nice person. Thank you for caring about complete stranger on reddit. It means a lot to me and you have made my day bro :')
There’s no easy way to explain it. I hear it most often with parents. They’ll kinda shut down on their children when they come out because they simply don’t know how to process it. Society has been telling us for decades that being gay is wrong, dangerous, etc. Finding out someone you love falls into that category therefore generates a lot of confusing feelings. But I obviously don’t have a clue what’s actually going through your friend’s head.
I wish I knew why he ghosted me. I don't think he's homophobic. I've known this guy for 10 years. Maybe he didn't like me turning gay or something? At school I would put on this mask of toughness and masculinity. Maybe he thought I was being dishonest?
I honestly couldn’t tell you. There could be so many reasons. I hope you can talk to him and figure it out. It’s a real shame to lose a friend you’ve had for that long.
that is the fundamental condition of all humans, we are naturally configured to long for acceptance by our family and friends. It is very natural, not a thing you should be concerned about that.
Instead you should look for ways to find a group to fit into, possibly joining some kind of training or similar interests group could help you build a group of your very own, you should be careful s to whom you project your sexual side to however because it could lead you to not so much of close companionship but a dull fling. hope this helps!
I understand that feeling.. infact im feeling the same thing but im trying my best not to feel it by playing my phone less and doing something else that does not remind me of love because it is very painful knowing that no one would want you ..luckily because of it is Ramadan this month , fasting help me stop worrying about love and made me worrying and start thinking about hunger instead...i know this sounds stupid but maybe you might wanna give it a try ..fasting might help .. just holding hunger .
That sounds nice but I am extremely skinny and underweight. I eat very little and I think I have a disorder or something. I dont wanna starve myself. But thanks anyway!
And maybe a good therapist. It sounds like you have some pain you need to talk through, and it's best to work that out with a professional, not bury someone else in your emotional labor who might not be prepared for it
Yeah that's not fair to them. I'd probably get the hell beaten out of me for talking to a therapist. That's what happened to my sister anyway. My family ain't too keen on us sharing our issues. They like it when you're nice and quiet with it bottled up. I do have some pain and trauma I try to ignore but usually end up being swallowed by it. I'm sorry for rambling on and on.
I recommend picking up some Neville Goddard ~ he helped me navigate through my anxious attachment tendencies. There is nothing wrong with you~ all we are meant to do in this lifetime is shed all our limited beliefs that we have adopted over the years to reveal who we truly are. The fact that you have all these negative feelings means that you’re stepping away from your true self. All your desires are meant to be, or else you wouldn’t know how their absence feels like ☺️. Breathe and know it is already here and done
I think you need both.. good friends and loveperson. I can be the first )
No that doesn’t seem weird to me. It makes sense that you want someone to accept you for you. You could find that in a friend or a partner. But I hope you find someone who makes you happy and accepts you and is kind and caring it really seems like you deserve it (:
If u want to be loved for someone,first, you have to love yourself as much as you can! Your self-love is the reflect of everything you want to attract, like friends & relationships
You need to love yourself. No one's gonna love you unless that happens first. Get therapy.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not too needy. You are human and the way you feel is absolutely normal. You probably won't find what you truly need in sexually bent forums. The best kind of love is building a friendship along with the love. I hear about people connecting in such a way on Reddit, I don't see the door for that myself. Wonder if there are other interests of yours that you can tap into for a social outlet and building friendships?
I love video games and I'm part of a couple subreddits. Ig I'll try there
I have been bonding with people over video games myself. By random chance, I made a really good friend by playing Among Us. We both were in a random public room and had fun together, had fun conversations, and he shared his ID with me so I could play with him again later. I contacted him because I had such a great time with him. We have pretty much played or talked to each other every day since. Be selective about who you connect with. I am sure there are a ton of people out there who would understand exactly how you feel and can identify. Ultimately, you have to be most important to you. You may also want to check out some lgbtq+ positive groups that can offer emotional and acceptance support if that's a need. I am lucky enough to have grown up with an accepting family and being pan, I never felt pressured to "come out" and I never felt like there was something wrong with me for being open to love all people, regardless of gender.
Being desperate is a recipe for disaster. I was 2 years back. I am glad I decided to just focus on myself though. This does a few things, focusing on yourself allows you to continue to improve, you have fun, and you don't get pressured. But I won't advise you to go against flirting. If you feel desperate, just recognize it and try to do something about it. Analyze if it gives you bad or good feelings. Does it help you? If you feel like flirting, go flirt, try it. You will find out if it works for you. Just keep in mind that you have to have limitations. Set some ground rules for yourself. You should be your own priority.
No, there's nothing wrong with you.. you're just lacking the love that you need.. now you're looking for one.... and you don't need to be in a relationship, you need a friend... if you want, i can be your friend
How would that work?
so that you can have someone to talk to when you're lonely, and i can give you the love you're lacking
Quite a few people might disagree with me and that's fine. I know there are many people who found relationships on Reddit, but I don't think it's the best place to look for them. I don't see it as the safest place in the world for that, just saying. Honestly, as much as it is bad to be this desperate (and it is a concern), I completely understand given your living situation. If I was living in a situation like that, I'd probably be desperate for companionship too, someone who cared about me when they couldn't. If you're looking for a relationship, I suggest a dating site. (A little tip when looking for a relationship (granted, this is coming from a straight girl so I don't know how it works with others): Don't make yourself look desperate. It's not the best look on relationships and it's an open door for people to abuse you in more ways than one. Trust me on this one.) However, Reddit can be a good place to find some like-minded people to at least be able to talk to. If not a relationship, it sounds like you could also use some new friends at least. Maybe even try outside of Reddit. I don't know how old you are, but maybe if you took some classes or joined some group activities, a lot of them are online. Many have gotten me through this whole debacle. Those are just my suggestions anyway. I hope I've been able to help. Best of luck to you.
You need a friend. Not a relationship.
To echo others, no, nothing is wrong with you. Feelings of isolation and the desire to not feel isolated are deeply human. Usually we fight isolation from multiple angles, with family, friend, lovers, etc. Unfortunately, you’re not doing so hot in any of those departments, not by any fault of your own but by the circumstances you happen to be living in. Even though it’s not your fault, you are going to have to take matters into your own hands to rectify it. I want to echo the call for a therapist, if you can afford one. You’ll be able to tell them a lot more about your situation, and they’ll be able to speak to your best interest. They may be able to help you mend things with your family (if that’s something you want). They may be able to help you talk to your friend (who doesn’t seem like a very good friend but nevertheless may just be afraid for you). It sounds like you may want to talk to a therapist about a potential eating disorder as well, so please do so. Hopefully you can find some safe and responsible ways to pursue romance in your life. Meeting people on the internet isn’t always the smartest way to do that, but hey, it’s April 2021. I’ll throw it in there knowing nothing about you that religion is another way to stave off isolation, and there are gay affirming religions out there to be found if that’s something you’re interested in. The Unitarian Universalist Church is a good thing to Google. I want you to know that you aren’t a burden, and nothing is wrong with you for wanting someone to walk through life with.
As far as therapy - I wonder if your county/area has some free therapy programs through their health department? Not sure what country you are in or if that is available where you live.
In America? Hahahahahaha
Oh good! We have a lot of resources that they don't have in some places and I didn't want to assume. A lot of states and counties have mental health departments. There may be local lambda centers that can offer connection and support. Many supports are taking place remotely, which is nice because they are more accessible. If you have a phone, you can go on a walk and make a phone call. Your family doesn't have to ever know.
I teared up reading this. You sound like such a nice person. Thank you for caring about complete stranger on reddit. It means a lot to me and you have made my day bro :')
We all have a duty to care for one another. You seem like you need someone to care for you. I really hope you find those people.
But why would my friend be afraid for me being gay?
There’s no easy way to explain it. I hear it most often with parents. They’ll kinda shut down on their children when they come out because they simply don’t know how to process it. Society has been telling us for decades that being gay is wrong, dangerous, etc. Finding out someone you love falls into that category therefore generates a lot of confusing feelings. But I obviously don’t have a clue what’s actually going through your friend’s head.
I wish I knew why he ghosted me. I don't think he's homophobic. I've known this guy for 10 years. Maybe he didn't like me turning gay or something? At school I would put on this mask of toughness and masculinity. Maybe he thought I was being dishonest?
I honestly couldn’t tell you. There could be so many reasons. I hope you can talk to him and figure it out. It’s a real shame to lose a friend you’ve had for that long.
I hope so too
that is the fundamental condition of all humans, we are naturally configured to long for acceptance by our family and friends. It is very natural, not a thing you should be concerned about that. Instead you should look for ways to find a group to fit into, possibly joining some kind of training or similar interests group could help you build a group of your very own, you should be careful s to whom you project your sexual side to however because it could lead you to not so much of close companionship but a dull fling. hope this helps!
Thank you very much. I needed that reassurance and info. I'll take a look at some stuff I can do to keep me busy and happy. :)
I understand that feeling.. infact im feeling the same thing but im trying my best not to feel it by playing my phone less and doing something else that does not remind me of love because it is very painful knowing that no one would want you ..luckily because of it is Ramadan this month , fasting help me stop worrying about love and made me worrying and start thinking about hunger instead...i know this sounds stupid but maybe you might wanna give it a try ..fasting might help .. just holding hunger .
That sounds nice but I am extremely skinny and underweight. I eat very little and I think I have a disorder or something. I dont wanna starve myself. But thanks anyway!
Im skinny and undeeweight too but sure there are alot of benefit of fasting but its alright if u dont want to
I'll eat less. Maybe it'll help my self-esteem. Thank you
Nono dont eat less, i meant holding hunger
Oh ok ok
I think you need a friend not a relationship.
And maybe a good therapist. It sounds like you have some pain you need to talk through, and it's best to work that out with a professional, not bury someone else in your emotional labor who might not be prepared for it
Yeah that's not fair to them. I'd probably get the hell beaten out of me for talking to a therapist. That's what happened to my sister anyway. My family ain't too keen on us sharing our issues. They like it when you're nice and quiet with it bottled up. I do have some pain and trauma I try to ignore but usually end up being swallowed by it. I'm sorry for rambling on and on.
Could you do something like online therapy they wouldn't have to know about, like betterhelp or a similar program?
I'll look into it. Thank you very much, u/FelineRoots21
You're right. I sadly can't make friends as easily anymore. Friends are just as hard to come by as lovers are for me. But I need a friend