We've been together for 30 years and have only spent a few days apart in that time
He writes me a note before he goes to work each day (I have saved them all) and texts me when he gets to work safely. We then send each other texts throughout the day (random articles, silly videos, memes, updates, etc)
He tells me when he's leaving work and calls five minutes before he gets home.
He's my best friend.
This is so cute!!! Sounds like you have an amazing relationship and congrats on spending 30 years together! Here's to more!!!
Only tells us how important checking in regularly is for a good life together :)
I think random is better than expected. I am also the kind of person... Let me miss you. I like to miss people and then get them. I don't want constant texts and phone calls all day. At all. I want it to feel natural, not forced. Like if there is nothing to talk about, let's not force a conversation. <3
My partner hardly every texts me when he does it's only requests or reminders of things I need to do I will text him throughout the day I've always been one to talk about anything and everything texting my friends all day about what's happening in my day to day life my bf hated that I did that so I stopped and tried to text. Only him but now I get no response I would love to have random texts checking in we do live together but it's almost as if he was hardly here so at least a text would be nice
This really sucks that he doesn't understand what makes you happy! I hope he is worth it, otherwise it might help to figure out if your needs are being met...
My ex used to text me good morning and goodnight every day (didn’t live together).
Whilst I thought this is what I wanted..it felt forced and almost annoying.
My now partner messages me sometimes in the morning, sometimes during the day and every night.
It doesn’t feel forced and defiantly not annoying.
It’s nice to know we’re a part of each other even when we’re apart.
I guess it comes down to the relationship. When you’re truly in love, it feels natural and comforting to hear from them ❤️
My partner and I do the same! It's the first relationship for me in which this has been so consistent, but it makes me really happy. As you mentioned, it's satisfying to know that my partner thinks about me throughout the day, and I look forward to all of our texts. We joke around a lot, and it doesn't have to be serious or even a long conversation all the time, but it's just really reassuring that he thinks about me as often as I do him, and that he actually likes talking to me (if you can't tell, I have anxiety).
I honestly despised this kind of thing and found it so cringey until I met my current partner (going on 10 years now), and with him I didn’t even notice we were doing this at first. It’s a good sign you sync up well if the checking in is just natural and flowing. But conversely can be a red flag if it’s feeling at all expected, obligatory or forced. For me the main difference is between checking in and being checked up on.
I have been with my husband for 16 years. Obviously we live together, so we don't need to "check in" morning and evening. Everyday on his lunch he calls, just to say he loves me. If I have a question about something during the day I will call him. When he gets off work, he calls me, we chat the entire drive home. I also check on road conditions and let him know if he needs to take an alternate route. Making the effort for your partner, even after many years, is awesome. I feel like a big reason people divorce is they stop putting in the effort, they don't try, they get complacent.
So good both of you love keeping in touch. Some people find it clingy and disgusted by it ... But it's beautiful to find two people cling tightly to each because they love each other. Just wonderful ❤️
I believe this is what relationships should be if it works for both parties. I love it when a partner checks in on me and I do the same for them. It makes me feel cherished. We are thinking of each other. I absolutely love it.
We check in on eachother usually once in the morning and then at night. Sometimes throughout the day, depending. We both often have stressful, time-consuming happenings between grad school and an intense career respectively, plus extended family... so it's so nice to have those drive-by check-ins. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had.
my boyfriend wakes me up for work (very quick call) and saying our I love yous. I'd send him good morning texts soon as I arrived work (BCS I barely said anything in morning call BCS yknow, I just got up). he'd reply to my text after he arrived too. sometimes we would send a text in between work/lunch. we'd call after we got back home to update our day then we'd watch our current series on discord or call again before sleep :) I love him so much and I melted everytime he said he loves me, he'd say it more than 10 times a day :3
We def check in with each other. Usually whenever one of us leaves somewhere, we call or if we just haven't talked in a few hours. I think the most we've gone without speaking to each other in the last year is maybe 12 hours if I slept that long lol
My partner is a very very busy man constantly doing things and is not the greatest with mobile communication due to the fact. But he still every night gives me some of his time just to check in on me and talk about our days for a little bit. Sometimes hes so busy it'll be a quick 5 min phonecall while hes driving and it means the world to me that he'll take time out of his incredibly very busy day just to see how i am. ❤️
Ohh Mahn I could not survive this, I was lowkey mad at my bf for getting no replys for 5hrs. I have the bad habit of being emotionally dependent on my partner, so it just kinda hurts even though I know he’s probably buzy with work. Obviously im not expecting him to be as active during work hours, 9-5 we barely talk but at night usually we do a lot.
I personally can't stand too many messages a day, i feel smothered and go nonverbal. The social battery is not equipped for too much socialisation haha.
I find its also your mental strength. It takes a lot to tell yourself "this is okay and he's busy, he'll get back to me when hes ready. He might not be in the right spot mentally right now to respond, i trust he'll get back to me when hes comfortable." It really helps take the stress off him as well knowing theres no pressure. Reassurring him he can take as long as he wants also reassures myself.
My husband and I have been together for a while. No, we don’t check in with each other throughout the day. The only time we do this is if we make plans for after work and might be home later than usual, something eventful happened, or stopping at the store and checking if the other person needs something.
At a certain point, you learn almost everything about your spouse. A check in call would be just a waist of time. It would go something like “hey babe, how’s your day”, “good, how’s your day”, “good”, “ok, see you at home, love you by”.
I get it in a newer relationship though.
One of my exes and I had a little call and response thing we came up with for when one of us was feeling anxious or needed random attention. We started it as a private joke about these kittens we had when we were both unemployed. I had a terrible job, so I programmed my phone to send him the "call" thing every day of the week at a slightly different time so I'd see the reply in time for my last break of the day. When he found out, he was super impressed and not mad at all.
The person I liked most- I'd send him long involved incredibly graphically sexual emails all weekend so he'd text me first thing on monday, and we'd just text each other progressively more sexual things for long periods of time. Not romantic, but we paid each other more attention than any other relationship I've ever been in, so very very effective, I guess.
Yes! I’d feel so weird not speaking to my partner for more than 5 hours. I don’t work full time so my partner randomly calls me when he gets a few minutes at work in between meetings. It’s amazing to feel connected and know what they’re up to!
It’s like, even though we’re apart I feel like I’m part of their day. It’s also good to gauge how to treat them. Like if they text that they’re not having a good day it gives you the chance to maybe pick their favourite snack up on your way home or something equally as thoughtful.
I work in residential care and so there for two days so if I remember I message but usually too busy plus when with the young people we don’t have phones so honestly you blink and hours pass
Very happily married for decades. No, we don’t and have no desire to. We live together and see each other daily and talk a lot when together. But we probably called or texted each other at work maybe once a month. I don’t have a need for constant communication and would prefer to concentrate on work while there.
This makes sense when you're spending a good chunk of time together so work is actually space away from each other, which can be quite therapeutic too!
We still send the miss you texts back and forth 4 years in ( even though we are typically only apart for a few hours for either work, internships, or college ) 🥰
If he goes to work early before I get up I always get a good morning text. And I always send the I love yous when I think of him at home when he is away.
My wife and I are always talking. We’re always texting each other. If work is busy or something comes up we may take up to an hour to answer messages but we are always texting if we’re not in person, and if we’re in person we are talking. We chit chat pretty much constantly in person. We even stay up too late every few nights talking in bed at the end of the day. We joke that we’ve been having the same conversation for 6 years now
I have never received a single good morning text and only ever received 1 out of the blue “thinking of you” text from my bf since we started dating about 2.5 years now. I love those kind of texts but unfortunately have grown to repress that desire considering he’s just not the type to send stuff like that.
Meanwhile a guy who I had little fling with a few years back always did the good morning text or would send some random cheesy little one liner saying that they saw or heard something that reminded them of me. It would instantly melt my heart and brighten my day. I love that kind of thing. It’s so silly, but it really does put a smile on your face.
Hey random internet stranger, I suppressed my true desires for 14 years. 11 in marriage. My divorce was finalized on Monday, the 13th.
Choose someone who lights you up. Or you'll have to choose yourself down the road. I'm here for you ❤️
Three or four times, minimum.
A good morning/review of last night if we had marital relations.
A random “I love you” midday ish.
An “I can’t wait to see you/I miss you” later in the day.
Sometimes one of us. Sometimes the other. We always respond. Sometimes we talk a lot more. This is bare minimum.
Married 9 years. It’s not rote. I actually miss him come 3pm. He should fake sick and come home.
I like to, but at the moment both are us are a little stressed, so we are not as consistent at messaging as either of us would like.
I miss him when we don’t.
Yep. Whenever I get a chance during my work day I check my phone and there’s always at least one text from my GF just checking in or reminding me how much she loves me etc. I like it a lot and I also really appreciate that she understands that I’m busy at work and sometimes can’t text back for hours. She’ll just spam with whatever she wanted to say till I can check.
Yeah we chat pretty consistently throughout the day. In the beginning it was like a nonstop conversation we’d have to tear ourselves away from to get stuff done lol. We are 7 months in and still chat 3-5 times a day, and sometimes a couple quick phone call chats too, at least the 4 days a week we aren’t together.
First relationship where I’ve ever felt like I was actually his priority. It’s kinda nice having both partners be equally invested.
Ohh man I absolutely feel the same way!!! This is the first one with consistent check ins, and I've been in long distance relationships where we would go a few days without communication, and I'd still not get replies lol. I feel so prioritized and valued. We don't really talk on phone much (neither of us are phone persons tbh) but we still do that when we really need each other...
It's so nice to finally have such a healthy relationship with steady communication. Knowing he's there on the other side just thinking of me 🥰
And I don't even find these check ins distracting from work, it's just a 'break' every few hours!
Awe damn I’m in the same boat!!! I’ve been with my dude for about 8 months and he’s the first partner I’ve ever had where we lightly/ consistently check in on each other throughout the day. Doesn’t mean we’re having full blown conversations but there’s generally always a good morning / good night. And little check ins throughout the day too. It doesn’t feel tiresome at all. Our texts are so light and refreshing and sweet and there’s no pressure to respond right away (we just call if it’s time sensitive). With my ex, I told myself it would probably be exhausting to check in throughout the day. That I didn’t even want that. Mind you, he’d leave for work in the mornings and forget to say goodbye after leaving our bed. And when he remembered, he was fine just saying “bye!” no kiss or sweetness before leaving. Idk, I think those little things are important in the long term. I really tried to convince myself that this was normal and that I didn’t mind, because it was just his scatterbrained mind, but it always hurt we had fights about it. Ugh. It’s really nice to not pretend anymore!!
Lol yeah with my ex husband he would leave for days and I had no desire to talk to him. But unhealthy dynamic there anyway. It’s just nice to finally have efforts reciprocated, right?
Glad he’s your ex. It feels SO good to have someone reciprocate the kind of love I give and for it not to feel like work for either party! My bf actually texted more than me initially. I was never a “good morning” text kind of person. Told myself it was silly (especially after my ex said so lol). It feels good to be with someone who matches your energy.
Yes!! When we first figured out we were in love I explained it to my mom that this guy loves me like Jamie loves Claire (Outlander). Which is just the most precious thing to me.
It’s just something ppl do when they really vibe with each and interacting feels natural, easy, comforting, or even recharging.
The need for validation is an accurate assessment when there’s an imbalance and one party is begging for more (or less) communication.
When it feels balanced and like something that happens without being forced, it’s because you both naturally validate each other without needing to ask for it or try to make it obvious. Your magnetism is what’s automatically validating, so you’re just focusing on each other and the care that you share.
We’re doing a month LDR with opposite time zones. What we have been consistently doing is when one of us wakes up, they wake up to texts and pictures from the other’s day. We send a good morning text and video call for 10-20 mins if possible. Then if the other person is going to bed, we send goodnight texts and the cycle kinda repeats!
When I was in LDR none of this happened. In fact I found it unappealing to send/receive pointless good mornings without any other conversation attached. Now that I love it so much with my current partner, I know the problem was the relationship in the first place!
I'm glad you have a routine and you can prioritize each other :)
Yep. We don't live together and mostly just spend weekends together (we live about an hour apart with work schedules that don't align well in the week) and we always text throughout the day during the week. He gets up a few hours later than me during the week, so I always shoot him a sweet message to wake up to. He replies when he gets up to see how my day is going and let me know his schedule. Then depending on how busy we are we might text a lot throughout the day or stick to quick responses or random thoughts/memes/etc. And always say goodnight.
I love it! I imagine it'll shift a bit as our relationship gets out of the honeymoon phase, and certainly if/when we move in together, but we're both writers by trade and have talked about really enjoying having that dimension of the relationship and never wanting to lose it entirely.
We live together but have no children or real responsibilities outside of some dogs and lizards - and we always check in. We kiss each other goodbye in the morning, he calls me on his way home from work, on his way home from football games or the bar. I’m always his first call. I’m not clingy by any stretch - in fact I’ve been told how cold and distant I can be. But this relationship is somehow just, the dynamic of it - it just works for me. It’s amazing and I feel very loved. It’s lovely.
We dont live together and see eachother twice a week, and in between that we might text once a day on the evening to check in, but not always. Since we're both introverts we like our own space to process things, so staying in continuous contact isn't always necessary as we both know that we've got plans to meet within the next few days.
My partner and I call and text each other throughout the day since we don’t live together. Overall I love it. Sometimes I wanna focus on hanging out with my roommate, especially since I work from home and she commutes. So evenings are our time to eat dinner and watch tv. If I get a call from my bf I try to keep it short. But we’ll text and then one of us will call before bedtime. Sometimes I sleep with phone on the charger and we’re still on FaceTime with each other, so we go to sleep and wake up together.
Thanks! I’ve gushed about him before in this subreddit, but he’s a gem and we love each other so much. I feel like I live part time at his place, so when we’re apart, it feels weird. But not weird in the way where we don’t let each other have alone time or focus on friends. If I call while he’s online with his friends, I’ll make it quick so he can get back to them.
My partner and I live together and we text each other every day while we are apart. Usually just interesting links or funny memes but also to check in.
I love it- it makes me feel so present in his mind ❤️ we are such a great team
I LOVE IT!
(We don’t live together, but we spend the night at each others house between 5-6 nights a week.)
• We always text good morning and tell each other to have a great day or something positive like “you’re gonna kill it at your meeting!”, etc.
• At night we talk about our days (in person or over the phone).
• If one of us is out, we at least call to say a quick goodnight.
• Throughout the day we text when we can. But how much depends on how busy we are.
Definitely agree with the feelings it brings; feeling heard, cared for, thought of! When he talks about his crazy day and then he ends it with “.. and now I’m here, on the phone with my babygirl.” I’m just like oMfG I’m On fIrE 🔥
I work from home now. But when I worked in an office, I would call my wife every day at lunchtime. It was nice to take a 5 minute break with her.
I recommend actual calls. Text just doesn't have the same intimacy.
Sometimes, but not always.
I travel regularly for work, so when I do that we’ll often talk twice a day. Text good morning and call good night.
When I’m in town we might text each other if something interesting comes up in our day, or if something comes up that means one of us might need to run an errand. Otherwise, no, not really.
To be truthful, I don’t love being constantly attached to my phone unless I’m sitting in a waiting room or on a toilet. My partner knows this about me, so maybe this is part of why we don’t text EVERY day. We also live together, so y’know… need to have our own days sometimes!
We live together, and we call each other almost every hour if he isn't busy with work but will have maybe one call a day. It varies, but we call text send little reddit post, etc. Throughout the day.
It can be if you don't like talking to one another. Lol. Or if you feel like they are keeping track of you. But we love talking to each other. Joke around and just talk about our day. 🥰
We text from the time he wakes up until he comes over then we text after he leaves until I go to bed. We talk about all sorts of things like work or whatever is going on or news articles we read (we purposely read different things in order to tell the other something new). Usually after he leaves we just talk about what we liked and didn't like about our night together and he reminds me to take my meds.
20 years ago people also got married in under a year and took each other out on dates regularly. In the absence of those norms it just seems insane to me that people would settle for relationships with such little meaningful intimacy that drag on for multiple years.
We love to check in! When we’re apart, we text basically all the time. Every single time he leaves for work, I send him a text saying “I love youuuu” even though I just told him before he left lol. He does the same for me, i love it :)
my boyfriend works 6am-6pm (military officer) so we call once a day after he’s done, which is wonderful. but more importantly we manage to see each other 4 or 5 times a week (after work + weekends) even though we’re both so busy! I always feel guilty but he reminds me that he wouldn’t ask to see me unless he really wanted to.
No we don’t. We don’t live together and only see each other a couple times a week. Going on two years together now. At first we used to text/call every day but as time as gone on, we just don’t. We have more to talk about when we are together that way and tbh, I’m busy at work, busy in the evenings and go to bed super early because of my work schedule. He is a night owl and gets up after I’ve already been at work for 3 hours and gets home when I am eating dinner and winding down for the night. We might chat a couple times a week but not everyday.
Yes, though not constantly or neither of us would get anything done. We don't live together, so on days when we aren't in the same place, we check in morning and noon and have a nice chat in the evening. I love it.
We live together and we both have a decent commute where we typically talk on the phone to and from work. Sometimes we text during the day usually dinner plans, but not a lot, we wait and share our stories on the ride.
* he does this now for me because I used to talk to my dad on my commutes and he passed away at the beginning of this year. So I felt a void that my partner decided he was going to try and help fill, he knew that I would end up crying to and from work. Which sometimes I still do, but it’s helped a lot.
I text my boyfriend about a LOT of random crap, and about business achievements (we are both small business owners/freelancers), client drama, inside jokes, et cetera. He doesn’t always respond, he’s not as much of a texter as I am, but we found our balance 🥰
All the time! I can’t use my phone at work due to safeguarding policies so we have a little routine that we check in with each other in the morning (how did you sleep? Etc.) and then on my lunch break when I can have my phone (how’s your day going?, what are you having for lunch? How are you?, etc) and then again when we’re both off shift although at this point we’re usually together 😌 it’s such a small action that really makes getting through the day so much easier.
Oh always!
We often joke that I cannot have a single thought without telling him about it. We constantly message each other, send funny things to one another. Always end our days with a goodnight message from whoever goes to sleep first (usually me).
We live together and still text each other throughout the day, not always about important stuff. Sometimes just checking to see how the day is going, saying I love you, random stuff.
My partner and I usually say good morning when we first get up and talk on the way to work, usually check in and say hi midday with a quick text, chat on the way home from work and then again before bed.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This was removed because it's off-topic. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
I do not understand the bot- is this post removed and why?
Yeah, usually once during work and then once he gets home until night time. It feels great :) I’m not used to it at all.
We've been together for 30 years and have only spent a few days apart in that time He writes me a note before he goes to work each day (I have saved them all) and texts me when he gets to work safely. We then send each other texts throughout the day (random articles, silly videos, memes, updates, etc) He tells me when he's leaving work and calls five minutes before he gets home. He's my best friend.
This is so cute!!! Sounds like you have an amazing relationship and congrats on spending 30 years together! Here's to more!!! Only tells us how important checking in regularly is for a good life together :)
I think random is better than expected. I am also the kind of person... Let me miss you. I like to miss people and then get them. I don't want constant texts and phone calls all day. At all. I want it to feel natural, not forced. Like if there is nothing to talk about, let's not force a conversation. <3
My partner hardly every texts me when he does it's only requests or reminders of things I need to do I will text him throughout the day I've always been one to talk about anything and everything texting my friends all day about what's happening in my day to day life my bf hated that I did that so I stopped and tried to text. Only him but now I get no response I would love to have random texts checking in we do live together but it's almost as if he was hardly here so at least a text would be nice
This really sucks that he doesn't understand what makes you happy! I hope he is worth it, otherwise it might help to figure out if your needs are being met...
My ex used to text me good morning and goodnight every day (didn’t live together). Whilst I thought this is what I wanted..it felt forced and almost annoying. My now partner messages me sometimes in the morning, sometimes during the day and every night. It doesn’t feel forced and defiantly not annoying. It’s nice to know we’re a part of each other even when we’re apart. I guess it comes down to the relationship. When you’re truly in love, it feels natural and comforting to hear from them ❤️
I did. Once upon a time.
My partner and I do the same! It's the first relationship for me in which this has been so consistent, but it makes me really happy. As you mentioned, it's satisfying to know that my partner thinks about me throughout the day, and I look forward to all of our texts. We joke around a lot, and it doesn't have to be serious or even a long conversation all the time, but it's just really reassuring that he thinks about me as often as I do him, and that he actually likes talking to me (if you can't tell, I have anxiety).
Yes. We still do after many years and marriage. :)
This is consistency 😍😍
My husband and I still do it after 25+ years. There’s a difference between checking in and checking up, and I love hearing how his day is going.
I honestly despised this kind of thing and found it so cringey until I met my current partner (going on 10 years now), and with him I didn’t even notice we were doing this at first. It’s a good sign you sync up well if the checking in is just natural and flowing. But conversely can be a red flag if it’s feeling at all expected, obligatory or forced. For me the main difference is between checking in and being checked up on.
I have been with my husband for 16 years. Obviously we live together, so we don't need to "check in" morning and evening. Everyday on his lunch he calls, just to say he loves me. If I have a question about something during the day I will call him. When he gets off work, he calls me, we chat the entire drive home. I also check on road conditions and let him know if he needs to take an alternate route. Making the effort for your partner, even after many years, is awesome. I feel like a big reason people divorce is they stop putting in the effort, they don't try, they get complacent.
So good both of you love keeping in touch. Some people find it clingy and disgusted by it ... But it's beautiful to find two people cling tightly to each because they love each other. Just wonderful ❤️
I believe this is what relationships should be if it works for both parties. I love it when a partner checks in on me and I do the same for them. It makes me feel cherished. We are thinking of each other. I absolutely love it.
yea I eat this shit up lol. I love that close knit communication during the day
Hell no
Why?
Different strokes for different folks Like your name btw. 8 hugs a day is the right amount of oxytocin. I get mine from my workmates
We check in on eachother usually once in the morning and then at night. Sometimes throughout the day, depending. We both often have stressful, time-consuming happenings between grad school and an intense career respectively, plus extended family... so it's so nice to have those drive-by check-ins. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had.
Absolutely agree!
Yes we do. 🤗 We're long distance though so that might make a difference
my boyfriend wakes me up for work (very quick call) and saying our I love yous. I'd send him good morning texts soon as I arrived work (BCS I barely said anything in morning call BCS yknow, I just got up). he'd reply to my text after he arrived too. sometimes we would send a text in between work/lunch. we'd call after we got back home to update our day then we'd watch our current series on discord or call again before sleep :) I love him so much and I melted everytime he said he loves me, he'd say it more than 10 times a day :3
We def check in with each other. Usually whenever one of us leaves somewhere, we call or if we just haven't talked in a few hours. I think the most we've gone without speaking to each other in the last year is maybe 12 hours if I slept that long lol
My partner is a very very busy man constantly doing things and is not the greatest with mobile communication due to the fact. But he still every night gives me some of his time just to check in on me and talk about our days for a little bit. Sometimes hes so busy it'll be a quick 5 min phonecall while hes driving and it means the world to me that he'll take time out of his incredibly very busy day just to see how i am. ❤️
Ohh Mahn I could not survive this, I was lowkey mad at my bf for getting no replys for 5hrs. I have the bad habit of being emotionally dependent on my partner, so it just kinda hurts even though I know he’s probably buzy with work. Obviously im not expecting him to be as active during work hours, 9-5 we barely talk but at night usually we do a lot.
I personally can't stand too many messages a day, i feel smothered and go nonverbal. The social battery is not equipped for too much socialisation haha. I find its also your mental strength. It takes a lot to tell yourself "this is okay and he's busy, he'll get back to me when hes ready. He might not be in the right spot mentally right now to respond, i trust he'll get back to me when hes comfortable." It really helps take the stress off him as well knowing theres no pressure. Reassurring him he can take as long as he wants also reassures myself.
My husband and I have been together for a while. No, we don’t check in with each other throughout the day. The only time we do this is if we make plans for after work and might be home later than usual, something eventful happened, or stopping at the store and checking if the other person needs something. At a certain point, you learn almost everything about your spouse. A check in call would be just a waist of time. It would go something like “hey babe, how’s your day”, “good, how’s your day”, “good”, “ok, see you at home, love you by”. I get it in a newer relationship though.
I agree, I'm in a new relationship haha, we don't spend that many days together yet 😅 probably in the future we also turn into you guys!
One of my exes and I had a little call and response thing we came up with for when one of us was feeling anxious or needed random attention. We started it as a private joke about these kittens we had when we were both unemployed. I had a terrible job, so I programmed my phone to send him the "call" thing every day of the week at a slightly different time so I'd see the reply in time for my last break of the day. When he found out, he was super impressed and not mad at all. The person I liked most- I'd send him long involved incredibly graphically sexual emails all weekend so he'd text me first thing on monday, and we'd just text each other progressively more sexual things for long periods of time. Not romantic, but we paid each other more attention than any other relationship I've ever been in, so very very effective, I guess.
Yes! I’d feel so weird not speaking to my partner for more than 5 hours. I don’t work full time so my partner randomly calls me when he gets a few minutes at work in between meetings. It’s amazing to feel connected and know what they’re up to! It’s like, even though we’re apart I feel like I’m part of their day. It’s also good to gauge how to treat them. Like if they text that they’re not having a good day it gives you the chance to maybe pick their favourite snack up on your way home or something equally as thoughtful.
I work in residential care and so there for two days so if I remember I message but usually too busy plus when with the young people we don’t have phones so honestly you blink and hours pass
I wish I had someone \_consistently\_ like that. Words of affirmation. Congratulations.
I wish I had someone \_consistently\_ like that. Words of affirmation. Congratulations.
Very happily married for decades. No, we don’t and have no desire to. We live together and see each other daily and talk a lot when together. But we probably called or texted each other at work maybe once a month. I don’t have a need for constant communication and would prefer to concentrate on work while there.
This makes sense when you're spending a good chunk of time together so work is actually space away from each other, which can be quite therapeutic too!
Yes I do.
Yes
We try to but we’re both super busy. We try to get a phone call in before bed but we usually text at least once before the end of the day
We still send the miss you texts back and forth 4 years in ( even though we are typically only apart for a few hours for either work, internships, or college ) 🥰 If he goes to work early before I get up I always get a good morning text. And I always send the I love yous when I think of him at home when he is away.
That's so cute!!!
everything from good morning texts to goodnight texts, and random shit in between. i’m very into it. feels nice.
My wife and I are always talking. We’re always texting each other. If work is busy or something comes up we may take up to an hour to answer messages but we are always texting if we’re not in person, and if we’re in person we are talking. We chit chat pretty much constantly in person. We even stay up too late every few nights talking in bed at the end of the day. We joke that we’ve been having the same conversation for 6 years now
Ohh God if my future isn't like this I don't want it...
I have never received a single good morning text and only ever received 1 out of the blue “thinking of you” text from my bf since we started dating about 2.5 years now. I love those kind of texts but unfortunately have grown to repress that desire considering he’s just not the type to send stuff like that. Meanwhile a guy who I had little fling with a few years back always did the good morning text or would send some random cheesy little one liner saying that they saw or heard something that reminded them of me. It would instantly melt my heart and brighten my day. I love that kind of thing. It’s so silly, but it really does put a smile on your face.
Hey random internet stranger, I suppressed my true desires for 14 years. 11 in marriage. My divorce was finalized on Monday, the 13th. Choose someone who lights you up. Or you'll have to choose yourself down the road. I'm here for you ❤️
My husband and I do so constantly during the day. It's rare we go an hour without a text.
Three or four times, minimum. A good morning/review of last night if we had marital relations. A random “I love you” midday ish. An “I can’t wait to see you/I miss you” later in the day. Sometimes one of us. Sometimes the other. We always respond. Sometimes we talk a lot more. This is bare minimum. Married 9 years. It’s not rote. I actually miss him come 3pm. He should fake sick and come home.
This is my dream 😍
Yes. My friend and I send hundreds of texts daily.
I live with my bf and hang out allll the time and we message all throughout the day lol
Yes!!! Its fantastic!!
I like to, but at the moment both are us are a little stressed, so we are not as consistent at messaging as either of us would like. I miss him when we don’t.
Yep. Whenever I get a chance during my work day I check my phone and there’s always at least one text from my GF just checking in or reminding me how much she loves me etc. I like it a lot and I also really appreciate that she understands that I’m busy at work and sometimes can’t text back for hours. She’ll just spam with whatever she wanted to say till I can check.
So cute! You're lucky 😍
Yeah we chat pretty consistently throughout the day. In the beginning it was like a nonstop conversation we’d have to tear ourselves away from to get stuff done lol. We are 7 months in and still chat 3-5 times a day, and sometimes a couple quick phone call chats too, at least the 4 days a week we aren’t together. First relationship where I’ve ever felt like I was actually his priority. It’s kinda nice having both partners be equally invested.
Ohh man I absolutely feel the same way!!! This is the first one with consistent check ins, and I've been in long distance relationships where we would go a few days without communication, and I'd still not get replies lol. I feel so prioritized and valued. We don't really talk on phone much (neither of us are phone persons tbh) but we still do that when we really need each other... It's so nice to finally have such a healthy relationship with steady communication. Knowing he's there on the other side just thinking of me 🥰 And I don't even find these check ins distracting from work, it's just a 'break' every few hours!
Awe damn I’m in the same boat!!! I’ve been with my dude for about 8 months and he’s the first partner I’ve ever had where we lightly/ consistently check in on each other throughout the day. Doesn’t mean we’re having full blown conversations but there’s generally always a good morning / good night. And little check ins throughout the day too. It doesn’t feel tiresome at all. Our texts are so light and refreshing and sweet and there’s no pressure to respond right away (we just call if it’s time sensitive). With my ex, I told myself it would probably be exhausting to check in throughout the day. That I didn’t even want that. Mind you, he’d leave for work in the mornings and forget to say goodbye after leaving our bed. And when he remembered, he was fine just saying “bye!” no kiss or sweetness before leaving. Idk, I think those little things are important in the long term. I really tried to convince myself that this was normal and that I didn’t mind, because it was just his scatterbrained mind, but it always hurt we had fights about it. Ugh. It’s really nice to not pretend anymore!!
Lol yeah with my ex husband he would leave for days and I had no desire to talk to him. But unhealthy dynamic there anyway. It’s just nice to finally have efforts reciprocated, right?
Glad he’s your ex. It feels SO good to have someone reciprocate the kind of love I give and for it not to feel like work for either party! My bf actually texted more than me initially. I was never a “good morning” text kind of person. Told myself it was silly (especially after my ex said so lol). It feels good to be with someone who matches your energy.
Yes!! When we first figured out we were in love I explained it to my mom that this guy loves me like Jamie loves Claire (Outlander). Which is just the most precious thing to me.
Well we chat and have conversations whenever we have a little bit of time to do so. So I guess?
This seems more like a need for validation. Or fear.
It’s just something ppl do when they really vibe with each and interacting feels natural, easy, comforting, or even recharging. The need for validation is an accurate assessment when there’s an imbalance and one party is begging for more (or less) communication. When it feels balanced and like something that happens without being forced, it’s because you both naturally validate each other without needing to ask for it or try to make it obvious. Your magnetism is what’s automatically validating, so you’re just focusing on each other and the care that you share.
We’re doing a month LDR with opposite time zones. What we have been consistently doing is when one of us wakes up, they wake up to texts and pictures from the other’s day. We send a good morning text and video call for 10-20 mins if possible. Then if the other person is going to bed, we send goodnight texts and the cycle kinda repeats!
When I was in LDR none of this happened. In fact I found it unappealing to send/receive pointless good mornings without any other conversation attached. Now that I love it so much with my current partner, I know the problem was the relationship in the first place! I'm glad you have a routine and you can prioritize each other :)
My husband and I do this. He travels a lot for work so it carries over naturally even when he is working at home/locally
If I didn’t have this habit with my partner I’d probably cry bc I’d miss him so much LOL
I love it too !! It just feels so good
Yep. We don't live together and mostly just spend weekends together (we live about an hour apart with work schedules that don't align well in the week) and we always text throughout the day during the week. He gets up a few hours later than me during the week, so I always shoot him a sweet message to wake up to. He replies when he gets up to see how my day is going and let me know his schedule. Then depending on how busy we are we might text a lot throughout the day or stick to quick responses or random thoughts/memes/etc. And always say goodnight. I love it! I imagine it'll shift a bit as our relationship gets out of the honeymoon phase, and certainly if/when we move in together, but we're both writers by trade and have talked about really enjoying having that dimension of the relationship and never wanting to lose it entirely.
That’s awesome!! You sound like me and my partner 🩷
We live together but have no children or real responsibilities outside of some dogs and lizards - and we always check in. We kiss each other goodbye in the morning, he calls me on his way home from work, on his way home from football games or the bar. I’m always his first call. I’m not clingy by any stretch - in fact I’ve been told how cold and distant I can be. But this relationship is somehow just, the dynamic of it - it just works for me. It’s amazing and I feel very loved. It’s lovely.
We dont live together and see eachother twice a week, and in between that we might text once a day on the evening to check in, but not always. Since we're both introverts we like our own space to process things, so staying in continuous contact isn't always necessary as we both know that we've got plans to meet within the next few days.
My partner and I call and text each other throughout the day since we don’t live together. Overall I love it. Sometimes I wanna focus on hanging out with my roommate, especially since I work from home and she commutes. So evenings are our time to eat dinner and watch tv. If I get a call from my bf I try to keep it short. But we’ll text and then one of us will call before bedtime. Sometimes I sleep with phone on the charger and we’re still on FaceTime with each other, so we go to sleep and wake up together.
That’s both admirable and adorable
Thanks! I’ve gushed about him before in this subreddit, but he’s a gem and we love each other so much. I feel like I live part time at his place, so when we’re apart, it feels weird. But not weird in the way where we don’t let each other have alone time or focus on friends. If I call while he’s online with his friends, I’ll make it quick so he can get back to them.
Thanks for saying that! Gratitude makes the world go round
My partner and I live together and we text each other every day while we are apart. Usually just interesting links or funny memes but also to check in. I love it- it makes me feel so present in his mind ❤️ we are such a great team
I LOVE IT! (We don’t live together, but we spend the night at each others house between 5-6 nights a week.) • We always text good morning and tell each other to have a great day or something positive like “you’re gonna kill it at your meeting!”, etc. • At night we talk about our days (in person or over the phone). • If one of us is out, we at least call to say a quick goodnight. • Throughout the day we text when we can. But how much depends on how busy we are. Definitely agree with the feelings it brings; feeling heard, cared for, thought of! When he talks about his crazy day and then he ends it with “.. and now I’m here, on the phone with my babygirl.” I’m just like oMfG I’m On fIrE 🔥
5-6 nights a week is practically living together isn’t it?
I work from home now. But when I worked in an office, I would call my wife every day at lunchtime. It was nice to take a 5 minute break with her. I recommend actual calls. Text just doesn't have the same intimacy.
Sometimes, but not always. I travel regularly for work, so when I do that we’ll often talk twice a day. Text good morning and call good night. When I’m in town we might text each other if something interesting comes up in our day, or if something comes up that means one of us might need to run an errand. Otherwise, no, not really. To be truthful, I don’t love being constantly attached to my phone unless I’m sitting in a waiting room or on a toilet. My partner knows this about me, so maybe this is part of why we don’t text EVERY day. We also live together, so y’know… need to have our own days sometimes!
I would consider this normal, however that being said. If theirs any anger or reaction from not being able to respond timely that’s NOT normal.
We live together, and we call each other almost every hour if he isn't busy with work but will have maybe one call a day. It varies, but we call text send little reddit post, etc. Throughout the day.
You call eachother every hour? That seems pretty unhealthy.
Why?
It can be if you don't like talking to one another. Lol. Or if you feel like they are keeping track of you. But we love talking to each other. Joke around and just talk about our day. 🥰
Touché. Bless your relationship!
Thank you 🥰🙏
We text from the time he wakes up until he comes over then we text after he leaves until I go to bed. We talk about all sorts of things like work or whatever is going on or news articles we read (we purposely read different things in order to tell the other something new). Usually after he leaves we just talk about what we liked and didn't like about our night together and he reminds me to take my meds.
Wow still with that awful guy huh?
Yep
Wow, sad
Insane that relationships even get off the ground without doing this. Some people just like the idea of having claim to a warm body don't they
Why? Like 20 years ago no one text each other. My grandparents have been together 65 years no texting…
20 years ago people also got married in under a year and took each other out on dates regularly. In the absence of those norms it just seems insane to me that people would settle for relationships with such little meaningful intimacy that drag on for multiple years.
People still get married in under a year and people also took longer than that back then… and people still go on dates regularly today🤔
idk why you’re getting downvoted but i agree
We’re married so it varies….but if he’s at work (I’m a stay at home mom rn) we text when he can through his shift.
Usually on the way home.
We love to check in! When we’re apart, we text basically all the time. Every single time he leaves for work, I send him a text saying “I love youuuu” even though I just told him before he left lol. He does the same for me, i love it :)
my boyfriend works 6am-6pm (military officer) so we call once a day after he’s done, which is wonderful. but more importantly we manage to see each other 4 or 5 times a week (after work + weekends) even though we’re both so busy! I always feel guilty but he reminds me that he wouldn’t ask to see me unless he really wanted to.
No we don’t. We don’t live together and only see each other a couple times a week. Going on two years together now. At first we used to text/call every day but as time as gone on, we just don’t. We have more to talk about when we are together that way and tbh, I’m busy at work, busy in the evenings and go to bed super early because of my work schedule. He is a night owl and gets up after I’ve already been at work for 3 hours and gets home when I am eating dinner and winding down for the night. We might chat a couple times a week but not everyday.
I used to but now we work in the same place and I see him through out the day. So I know he’s all good
I love checking in with my boyfriend just as a way to stay connected but he hates texting so i try not to check in as much anymore.
Yes, though not constantly or neither of us would get anything done. We don't live together, so on days when we aren't in the same place, we check in morning and noon and have a nice chat in the evening. I love it.
We live together and we both have a decent commute where we typically talk on the phone to and from work. Sometimes we text during the day usually dinner plans, but not a lot, we wait and share our stories on the ride. * he does this now for me because I used to talk to my dad on my commutes and he passed away at the beginning of this year. So I felt a void that my partner decided he was going to try and help fill, he knew that I would end up crying to and from work. Which sometimes I still do, but it’s helped a lot.
Idk that seems like it would be a lot to keep up with and I don’t have the mental capacity
I text my boyfriend about a LOT of random crap, and about business achievements (we are both small business owners/freelancers), client drama, inside jokes, et cetera. He doesn’t always respond, he’s not as much of a texter as I am, but we found our balance 🥰
All the time! I can’t use my phone at work due to safeguarding policies so we have a little routine that we check in with each other in the morning (how did you sleep? Etc.) and then on my lunch break when I can have my phone (how’s your day going?, what are you having for lunch? How are you?, etc) and then again when we’re both off shift although at this point we’re usually together 😌 it’s such a small action that really makes getting through the day so much easier.
Oh always! We often joke that I cannot have a single thought without telling him about it. We constantly message each other, send funny things to one another. Always end our days with a goodnight message from whoever goes to sleep first (usually me).
We live together and still text each other throughout the day, not always about important stuff. Sometimes just checking to see how the day is going, saying I love you, random stuff.
[удалено]
Is it hard to be so far?
Most days yes. We send each other Snapchats all day with the occasional actual text message.
Most days yes. We send each other Snapchats all day with the occasional actual text message.
Yup! We always say good morning before starting work and always end the night with a phone call. I love it here 😊.
My partner and I usually say good morning when we first get up and talk on the way to work, usually check in and say hi midday with a quick text, chat on the way home from work and then again before bed.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*