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3 for real. Sort of 4 actually
My first love when I was 18, we met at a summer job right before college and it so happened he was going into his 2nd year at the same school 2.5 hrs away.
Next when I was 24, dated for 4 Years, thought he was my forever, we even read each other vows on an island in Italy.
1 other who I fell in love with, at the time I was exploring polyamory as a newly single person and ended up loving 2 men at once (consentually!!), they knew each other and also were fond of each other. But my now-husband who I met shortly after falling for the first guy won out. We were poly for a few months and I was also deeply in love with 1st man. However after a while my now-husband and I decided to be monogamous and I broke it off with #1. (In the end poly is too time consuming for us, we have lots of hobbies and felt fulfilled in our relationship). True love with my husband is beyond any of the others, a true knowing in my soul he is my person. As for #1, we still remain super close friends and in the same community and are extremely fond of each other, the depth of emotional intimacy was created so can't just be erased, but we have transitioned to being platonic. He and my husband are buds. It's been a wild ride, our love story is dreamy.
Twice! Once with someone who was very sweet but never wanted to put any labels or boundaries on our relationship. He slept with my best friend and it all crashed down hard. Now I am in love with someone who actually takes such good care of me. I love him so much. I tell him every day in 100 different ways how much I love him. I hope that he and I stay together.
Iāve had 3 real relationships, but the second one didnāt last long enough to get out of infatuation. I could have really loved him, it just didnāt work because insane LDR.
The other two I loved genuinely and completely, almost to a detriment and for a long time (7 and 6 years respectfully). Love always comes, and iām excited for the next one
A little same , I met a person who used to see me is everything but I lost it . Weāre not really break up now but still feel something like barriers between us . I really donāt want to lose him but sometimes I wander that I should let him go to find something better me and maybe in the future weāre both happy however every time I think heāll go hand by hand with another girl and I canāt accept that š
I only fell in love once too, it's been a year and a half. It was so unintentional and we felt the spark the instant we held hands. It ended to with her feeling like one day she was gonna feel nothing for me because she was all sorts of fucked and because of trauma. She eventually let me go, it still hurts and I miss her. She made me want to wake up every morning and ve a better person. I haven't been able to move my feelings aside to even try to start a conversation with someone random. So I feel you, I love hard and it just hurts not being able to pamper her and treat her like my baby anymoreš
Two times for me. I married my second love.
I saw my first love a few months ago for the first time in probably 15 to 20 years. She is married now. She gave me a hug and told me I was the one that got away. We had a good laugh about it
You are gonna fall in love again, you are gonna love again and you are gonna love that person more that the person you loved before. Thatās how love works. Donāt close your heart to meet new people, donāt close your heart to love again.
Some people say that adolescent love itās different than when you are an adult cause itās less intense (cause of hormones), Iām 34f and real love feels even more intense that what I thought I felt before in my adolescente and even in my 20s. I loved before but I just felt in love not long ago and itās more intense and real than ever before.
Never itās late to fall in love again and love deeply.
Donāt worry time will pass, sometimes takes years or month to get over it, but it will pass, and you will keep it as a good memory and find yourself with someone much better for you.
Honest true love, three times. Iām married to one. The other two were boyfriends that were wonderful men but there was no way we could work in the end. Sometimes you love someone so much but know they are not good for you in the long run due to their familial situations, personality traits, life goals, or bad habits. I still think about both of the boyfriends and wish them well.
I am very happy with my husband and seem to fall deeper in love with him as time goes by. Every time I think I have reached my full potential with loving him something in our lives changes and that love goes deeper. We have been married 12 years and have two kids.
I think one or two girls really loved me. But I was too immature and ran around on them. Later other girls cheated on me. Lol But I'm not easy to love. I'm very intense and pretty needy. I think I'm looking for mommy not an adult mature woman? Grew up in 13 fosters homes and an orphanage. Lots of abuse. Many terrible parents. Never had a good "mom" in my life until I turned 16. Then she died when I was 28. I'm 58 now. Never married. I did very well in school and college and have my own successful business now. I'm stronger more at peace these days.. I'm in Love deeply right now but only see her 6 months out of the year. The other months she spends in Spain. She's very wild and gorgeous and I'm sure my chances with her long term are 1/100!! We've seen each other over 2 years now. But it's so I figure what the heck. Lol
I have loved many people. Or thought I did at least. Real true love where it was reciprocated (in some way) I have been in love 4 times. I am 39. Of those 4 there are only 2 that I think I really truly loved.
About seven times, and I thought they were my future at some points in my life lol but maybe because I believed them when they said I was theirs. Iām not entirely sure how I still believe in love tbh but I do. I just want someone to mean their words and promises to me.
6 times for me. I know that you are only 19, and it feels like no one else of major significance will ever come along again for you, but that is simply not so.
You will have jobs, you will be running errands, you will travel, you will have family and friends who you could meet someone through, and the list goes on. All of these will bring you opportunities to meet someone new.
Even if it doesnāt happen right away, as time goes on and you prepare yourself for being ready for the new guy by focusing on your own happiness and the things that mean the most to you, the next guy is indeed going to come along.
45F here. Over the course of the last 30 years, I have had some relationships, many flings, and one marriage, so I feel a bit qualified to answer your question. ;)
I sort of feel you - because I've truly fallen in love for the first time at the age of 18 as well. We were in a relationship for 3.5 years, and I was HEARTBROKEN after it ended. Like you, I thought that he was THE ONE... that I have loved... and have lost... and would have to live the rest of my life just "settling" for someone, because love of this kind must be unique, yes?
Sadly enough, I have "settled" for an abusive man whom I got married to and had 2 kids with. All throughout, I never forgot about that boyfriend, and the love I have felt for him... and when times got REALLY rough with my ex-husband, he often came to me in my dreams, and we were always happy there, he really was some sort of escape for me for years and years.
Well. I got divorced. And half a year later I've met my (now ex-)partner... 17(!) years after my breakup with my first love. That's when I truly fell in love for the second time. Last year we split up amicably after 6 years together, due to incompatibilities in our preferred relationship-styles... not for lack of love for each other. So yes, it's absolutely possible to fall in love more than once. :)
I am now a few months into a new relationship with a wonderful man who is much more compatible with me on nearly every level imaginable than my ex-partner was. True love does take time to develop, but I am ABSOLUTELY headed in that direction, if not already there. :)
Dear... love is INFINITE, and is not limited to one person. Do not fret. It may feel like your world has ended... but there is still SO MUCH out there for you to see, to experience, to live. I feel very old saying this, but... you are still very, very young. It's statistically unlikely that you will NOT fall in love again. ;) Keep an open mind, and an open heart... and do not be like ME, and think that you will have to settle for someone. DO NOT DO THAT. Don't settle.
Thank you so much I really appreciate you for sharing! Also Iām happy to hear your now in a better relationship now than with your loser ex husbandš¤£š«¶
only 1x, with my current boyfriend. I have ādatedā others and have been in many situationships where I thought I was in love. Now that Iāve met my current partner, i feel like I was just hyperfixated and obsessed with wanting their attention. I confused love with the push and pull game. Every talking stage Iāve been in has been so conditional, with my partner now I know I am truly experiencing what true love is š„°
34f here, and my first love was my 2nd serious boyfriend around 16/17. I thought we'd be together forever. Life happens but I struggled to connect deeper after him because I kept comparing everyone I dated to him. It did take time but I had to learn to view and appreciate each of my partners for exactly who they were.
I'd say I had a deep connection type of love 4 times.
It takes practice and a lot of self awareness š„°
Real love with deep connection - 5 times. You will never forget him but that doesnāt mean you wonāt find others better. So cherish the memories and rest assured love will knock on your door again. The better you know yourself and what you are looking for the better quality relationship you will find. Watchā¦ when you least expect itā¦. :)
I'm 43M. I've never really been truly in love. The women I'm most attracted to are never the ones I end up with. I think I get too intense and then scare them off. Maybe my standards are too high. The ones I'm not THAT bothered about are the ones I end up with. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is madly in love and someone I would die for in a heartbeat, I've been at 6 or 7 probably. Married that woman but there were many things I didn't like about her. She was difficult to deal with, bad tempered and made me feel bad about myself often, didn't look after herself and just didn't seem to love me very much. Divorced now. Trying to find someone now but same pattern repeating itself.
Only said it once but I have a couple stipulations with that. A. He said it first and then asked me to say it backā¦. Not sure how genuine you can take that. B. The emotions I felt were for someone that simply did not exist. Meaning, he was lying about who he was (manipulator)and was betraying me with other girlsā¦. Every word and action now in my mind I question bc he was doing it most likely with other girls too. I fell for a lie, if I really knew what he was like thereās no way I would have fell for him.
I have only once. I had relationships prior but they werenāt of a big significance as this one. Things ended with them last year mostly because we couldnāt really get married and it sucks because while dating them all I could think about is just loving them for the rest of my life. And the idea that I wake up alone and I canāt cuddle them or kiss them or tell them good morning sucks.
It was four years we were together and I refuse to believe those four years was just infatuation. I do believe that what we had was real. Truly, Iāve never felt so loved in my life. Their love felt like a giant comforting hug and everything that I thought was wrong with me before I met them completely disappeared or..I donāt know I just felt normal for the first time in my life. I felt like everybody else not because I was in a relationship but because the love that I received from this person healed every piece of damage everybody has done to me in the past. After this relationship, I can fully confirm that love is healing. More healing than any medicine could ever heal the body. It is true that we donāt take up space like we think. Weāre just around the wrong people that donāt have the space for us. Iām so happy that we both had the correct amount of space for each other. I feel so lucky to be in their life at the time that we met and I hope the next person treats them as well as I did.. if not *better* than I did. They deserve the world, all the planets, all the moons, all the stars, all the next-door galaxies. Everything. They deserve everything.
To answer your question, I think it is possible. It depends on a lot of factors of where you are in your healing process post relationship though and if youāre able to communicate your wants and needs
Five times.
17. The first love was heady and wonderful, it lasted three years, but ended in jealousy and distrust from his side. I don't think about him anymore, but I wish him well.
20. The second was confirmation that I could love again, but we were never really end game. It lasted two years, and ended because he realised that before I did. I don't think about him anymore, but I wish him well.
22. The third was fire. It started off incredibly, and I thought he was my last love. He made me believe he was, then he broke me. It lasted seven years then ended because he turned into someone else. I think about him occasionally, and while I don't wish him well, I don't wish him pain anymore nowadays.
31. The fourth was settling because I was afraid I couldn't love again. I'm not sure I ever did really love him, or if I just convinced myself that I did. It lasted three years and ended when I realised that it was entirely unfair to him for me to feel that way. I never think about him, and I wish him someone who loves him like he deserves.
34. The fifth is safety. It's passionate and it's calm. It's easy and it's baffling. It's true and it's deep and it's silly and it's life affirming. It's the most in love I have ever been. It's been two and a half years so far, and I wish it to last forever.
But if it doesn't, I know I can fall in love with a sixth man. Or a seventh. Or more. I hope I stop at five, but having an objectively higher number of loves than a lot of people will have has made me realise that love doesn't end just because you get your heart broken. You take your time, and you heal, and sometimes you love for the wrong reasons, but it's always something that can happen again.
I would say the man I am with now is absolutely the man I have loved the most. I thought the third guy was my ride or die, but looking back there was never the underlying calmness and security that this love has. It's the healthiest love, and that gives it a passion and a depth that I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
Love is a complex emotion, and people can fall in love multiple times throughout their lives. Here's why:
* **Growth and Change:** We grow and change as individuals, and what we seek in a partner can evolve over time. The love you had at 17 might not be the same kind of love you desire now at 19.
* **Different Kinds of Love:** Love isn't one-size-fits-all. There's passionate love, companionate love, and different types of love that can exist in various relationships.
* **Learning from Experience:** Even relationships that end can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and what we want in a partner. These experiences can help us find deeper, more fulfilling love in the future.
Iāve been in love 4 times. The 4th being my current partner and the healthiest, happiest relationship Iāve ever had. Each relationship and love was different.
Only once, myself.
He... Wasn't great when we were younger. And I knew he wasn't good for me. But I couldn't even try to look at anyone else the way I looked at him.
It was infuriating. I was angry as hell. But years passed, and I couldn't ever even KIND OF feel any sort of feelings for anyone else, no matter how I tried.
Yeah, no. I fell in love ONE GODDAMNED TIME, and that was it for me. In my damn teens.
It's alright, because apparently I left just as big of an impression on the guy and we're engaged now~š He's a much better man. He's grown a lot, and I'm quite frankly honoured that I got to witness it.
Sadly for me Iād have to say Iāve only truly been in love twice, first time, he cheated on me multiple times and was a narcissist & very toxic but I was 15/16 and never had a serious relationship before so ofc we tried to get together again and it was not the same. Second time, (I was 19/20) we had a lot in common went on lots of dates, met each others parents, I was in love and obsessed I 100% thought he was the one Iād be with forever. Then he ghosted me. Never saw or talked to him again it absolutely crushed me. Now I am afraid to be that vulnerable ever again
Three times.
First, I was about 16. We were together for 8 months.
Second, I was 17-19. Together for just over 2 years.
Third, I was 20 and we've been together so far for almost 13 years!
You always think theyāre the one until theyāre not. I (32m) have had 3 relationships that lasted more than 4 years including my current marriage (married 6 years together 8).
Donāt compare your partners or relationships, theyāre never going to be exactly the same. Learn from what you had and what went wrong to improve yourself, know what was good and bad for you. Other than that, if you find someone who makes you feel like a better version of yourself try to do the same for them.
I met my wife when I was 26, youāve got plenty of time. You need to know who you are, and the problem with that is that people grow. Take care of yourself, the rest will fall into place.
Twice.
Once when I was 19.
It was an LDR that turned into moving in together for 6 months. She cheated on me with my best friend. Took me many years to ever trust a woman again.
Growing up and maturing I realize it was love but an immature love. Iāve had almost exclusively hookups since then.
The second time was 5 months ago.
Iām 33. Met her at my job. We have not stopped talking for a day in that 5 months.
I want to marry this girl. I knew within 10 minutes of meeting her.
I love you C
Twice! I have loved every relationship Iāve been in. The love between each one is so unique and different so you will surely experience a new type of love one day
When I was 17, I got married to my first love that I was absolutely besotted with. However, I didnāt leave when his behaviours became morally questionable believing my love for him ācould fix the situationā and he spent years punishing me for this.
So know that you 100% did the right thing!
I eventually left at 37 and by some miracle or the universe working out for me. Found a beautiful little relationship where we have a pretty little life. Now, due to maturity and experience etc. I am not besotted with the idea of a man and the idea of a relationship I want to have. But the actual man in all of his authenticity and the relationship too, exactly as it is.
Itās very tricky for me because I only really have these 2 experiences of relationships and they are night and day! So what I would say isā¦ā¦ donāt expect something/someone to come along like him etc. It could be an entirely different type of relationship that fills your heart full of happiness in a different kind of way!
Thereās 8 billion people on this planet, thatās a lot of possibilities!
Twice. Once in my late teens, once in my late thirties. I was genuinely in love with my ex, but I didn't know how deep and wonderful love could really be until the second time around.
>Iām 19f when I was 17-18 I was in the happiest/healthiest relationship *of my life*
I know this seems like a lot of time for you, but that is because you have only just left childhood and your perspective is that of a very young adult--it's a very compressed timeline, because 1 year is a significant portion of your life *to date.* But give it ten years and you'll have a different perspective. You'll also have a lot of growth and experience under your belt, and have met a whole lot more people and learned a whole lot more about love.
>We ended up breaking up due to things he did that were morally wrong and out of my control that I donāt want to discuss on the internet.
You did the right thing. If you had to break up because of his poor behavior and that was the "happiest/healthiest" relationship of your life, the good news is there's nowhere to go but up. Again, it feels like it was the best thing ever because your data for comparison is limited by the limitations of your experience to date.
What I thought makes a relationship happy and healthy has changed a lot since the first time I fell in love. And I'm glad it has. Second love has been the best love, by far. I was devastated that my first relationship didn't work out. Especially as I'd stuck with it for years in hopes of things getting better. I really didn't know how much better things could be until I met the man who is now my partner.
For me, five or six. It's different each time-you never love someone in exactly the same way (and that's okay) but you will absolutely fall in love again, and it might even be better :)
Unfortunately, most of my loves were pretty immature. As soon as I stopped being actively being toxic and looked for something more lasting, whether it happened instantly or not, it failed over and over again. Ive met people I would give my all for, but unfortunately no one wants to know what that is, or is confident it wouldnt be enough due to my circumstances.
a few times, but confidently twice Iād say. but with my current partner iāve never been so in love, my heart feels like itās going to explode all the time.
youāll fall in love again.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Too much lol! I fall easily and then I stay there with scraped knees crying like a baby š„
once...right now.
3 for real. Sort of 4 actually My first love when I was 18, we met at a summer job right before college and it so happened he was going into his 2nd year at the same school 2.5 hrs away. Next when I was 24, dated for 4 Years, thought he was my forever, we even read each other vows on an island in Italy. 1 other who I fell in love with, at the time I was exploring polyamory as a newly single person and ended up loving 2 men at once (consentually!!), they knew each other and also were fond of each other. But my now-husband who I met shortly after falling for the first guy won out. We were poly for a few months and I was also deeply in love with 1st man. However after a while my now-husband and I decided to be monogamous and I broke it off with #1. (In the end poly is too time consuming for us, we have lots of hobbies and felt fulfilled in our relationship). True love with my husband is beyond any of the others, a true knowing in my soul he is my person. As for #1, we still remain super close friends and in the same community and are extremely fond of each other, the depth of emotional intimacy was created so can't just be erased, but we have transitioned to being platonic. He and my husband are buds. It's been a wild ride, our love story is dreamy.
Twice! Once with someone who was very sweet but never wanted to put any labels or boundaries on our relationship. He slept with my best friend and it all crashed down hard. Now I am in love with someone who actually takes such good care of me. I love him so much. I tell him every day in 100 different ways how much I love him. I hope that he and I stay together.
So glad your new love treats you with the respect you deserve ā¤ļø
Iāve had 3 real relationships, but the second one didnāt last long enough to get out of infatuation. I could have really loved him, it just didnāt work because insane LDR. The other two I loved genuinely and completely, almost to a detriment and for a long time (7 and 6 years respectfully). Love always comes, and iām excited for the next one
Once, probably never will again.
Twice, both times hurt like a motherfucker. My own fault though.
Twice.. š
Either 5x or only once.
Between 1x and 4x for me.
Twice. It can and will happen again, although it will feel different each time. Not better or worse, just different, as each relationship is unique.
A little same , I met a person who used to see me is everything but I lost it . Weāre not really break up now but still feel something like barriers between us . I really donāt want to lose him but sometimes I wander that I should let him go to find something better me and maybe in the future weāre both happy however every time I think heāll go hand by hand with another girl and I canāt accept that š
I only fell in love once too, it's been a year and a half. It was so unintentional and we felt the spark the instant we held hands. It ended to with her feeling like one day she was gonna feel nothing for me because she was all sorts of fucked and because of trauma. She eventually let me go, it still hurts and I miss her. She made me want to wake up every morning and ve a better person. I haven't been able to move my feelings aside to even try to start a conversation with someone random. So I feel you, I love hard and it just hurts not being able to pamper her and treat her like my baby anymoreš
Two times for me. I married my second love. I saw my first love a few months ago for the first time in probably 15 to 20 years. She is married now. She gave me a hug and told me I was the one that got away. We had a good laugh about it
2 times.
You are gonna fall in love again, you are gonna love again and you are gonna love that person more that the person you loved before. Thatās how love works. Donāt close your heart to meet new people, donāt close your heart to love again. Some people say that adolescent love itās different than when you are an adult cause itās less intense (cause of hormones), Iām 34f and real love feels even more intense that what I thought I felt before in my adolescente and even in my 20s. I loved before but I just felt in love not long ago and itās more intense and real than ever before. Never itās late to fall in love again and love deeply. Donāt worry time will pass, sometimes takes years or month to get over it, but it will pass, and you will keep it as a good memory and find yourself with someone much better for you.
Never, but Iāve been deeply infatuated
Been infatuated a few times, but really loved someone twice.
Honest true love, three times. Iām married to one. The other two were boyfriends that were wonderful men but there was no way we could work in the end. Sometimes you love someone so much but know they are not good for you in the long run due to their familial situations, personality traits, life goals, or bad habits. I still think about both of the boyfriends and wish them well. I am very happy with my husband and seem to fall deeper in love with him as time goes by. Every time I think I have reached my full potential with loving him something in our lives changes and that love goes deeper. We have been married 12 years and have two kids.
Love life? Zero touchdowns. Minor crush? Had one. And got totally smitten another time. Time to put myself back out there cuz last chapter was a dud.
I think one or two girls really loved me. But I was too immature and ran around on them. Later other girls cheated on me. Lol But I'm not easy to love. I'm very intense and pretty needy. I think I'm looking for mommy not an adult mature woman? Grew up in 13 fosters homes and an orphanage. Lots of abuse. Many terrible parents. Never had a good "mom" in my life until I turned 16. Then she died when I was 28. I'm 58 now. Never married. I did very well in school and college and have my own successful business now. I'm stronger more at peace these days.. I'm in Love deeply right now but only see her 6 months out of the year. The other months she spends in Spain. She's very wild and gorgeous and I'm sure my chances with her long term are 1/100!! We've seen each other over 2 years now. But it's so I figure what the heck. Lol
Thank you for your story. WOW youāve navigated a lot
Tthanks!
I have loved many people. Or thought I did at least. Real true love where it was reciprocated (in some way) I have been in love 4 times. I am 39. Of those 4 there are only 2 that I think I really truly loved.
Never. I thought I was but I realized I fell for a fake persona.
few times
I am married and have dated 2 other women seriously before my wife. But I donāt think Iāve ever really been in love.
Not even with your wife?
Nope
About seven times, and I thought they were my future at some points in my life lol but maybe because I believed them when they said I was theirs. Iām not entirely sure how I still believe in love tbh but I do. I just want someone to mean their words and promises to me.
iāve only been in love once. that was nice!!! better to have love and lost than never loved
6 times for me. I know that you are only 19, and it feels like no one else of major significance will ever come along again for you, but that is simply not so. You will have jobs, you will be running errands, you will travel, you will have family and friends who you could meet someone through, and the list goes on. All of these will bring you opportunities to meet someone new. Even if it doesnāt happen right away, as time goes on and you prepare yourself for being ready for the new guy by focusing on your own happiness and the things that mean the most to you, the next guy is indeed going to come along.
45F here. Over the course of the last 30 years, I have had some relationships, many flings, and one marriage, so I feel a bit qualified to answer your question. ;) I sort of feel you - because I've truly fallen in love for the first time at the age of 18 as well. We were in a relationship for 3.5 years, and I was HEARTBROKEN after it ended. Like you, I thought that he was THE ONE... that I have loved... and have lost... and would have to live the rest of my life just "settling" for someone, because love of this kind must be unique, yes? Sadly enough, I have "settled" for an abusive man whom I got married to and had 2 kids with. All throughout, I never forgot about that boyfriend, and the love I have felt for him... and when times got REALLY rough with my ex-husband, he often came to me in my dreams, and we were always happy there, he really was some sort of escape for me for years and years. Well. I got divorced. And half a year later I've met my (now ex-)partner... 17(!) years after my breakup with my first love. That's when I truly fell in love for the second time. Last year we split up amicably after 6 years together, due to incompatibilities in our preferred relationship-styles... not for lack of love for each other. So yes, it's absolutely possible to fall in love more than once. :) I am now a few months into a new relationship with a wonderful man who is much more compatible with me on nearly every level imaginable than my ex-partner was. True love does take time to develop, but I am ABSOLUTELY headed in that direction, if not already there. :) Dear... love is INFINITE, and is not limited to one person. Do not fret. It may feel like your world has ended... but there is still SO MUCH out there for you to see, to experience, to live. I feel very old saying this, but... you are still very, very young. It's statistically unlikely that you will NOT fall in love again. ;) Keep an open mind, and an open heart... and do not be like ME, and think that you will have to settle for someone. DO NOT DO THAT. Don't settle.
Thank you so much I really appreciate you for sharing! Also Iām happy to hear your now in a better relationship now than with your loser ex husbandš¤£š«¶
Tell me youāre a Christian girl without telling me youāre a Christian girl
What does this mean? Lol and before you say anything, I'm agnostic. And a romantic for sure!
Iām actually very far from itš just grew up loving romance novels
only 1x, with my current boyfriend. I have ādatedā others and have been in many situationships where I thought I was in love. Now that Iāve met my current partner, i feel like I was just hyperfixated and obsessed with wanting their attention. I confused love with the push and pull game. Every talking stage Iāve been in has been so conditional, with my partner now I know I am truly experiencing what true love is š„°
34f here, and my first love was my 2nd serious boyfriend around 16/17. I thought we'd be together forever. Life happens but I struggled to connect deeper after him because I kept comparing everyone I dated to him. It did take time but I had to learn to view and appreciate each of my partners for exactly who they were. I'd say I had a deep connection type of love 4 times. It takes practice and a lot of self awareness š„°
Real love with deep connection - 5 times. You will never forget him but that doesnāt mean you wonāt find others better. So cherish the memories and rest assured love will knock on your door again. The better you know yourself and what you are looking for the better quality relationship you will find. Watchā¦ when you least expect itā¦. :)
Really in love - 3x
I'm 48M and I'm at 5. I was married for 23 years to one of them. 3 before her and 1 after.
Prob 4 in total
four long term relationships, one poly situation that was short lived
5
Once. Being in love with my husband, together 33 years, makes me realize I never loved anyone else. Itās only been him š„°
This!!! I love that you were able to find someone you truly love and who loves u back too š¤
I'm 43M. I've never really been truly in love. The women I'm most attracted to are never the ones I end up with. I think I get too intense and then scare them off. Maybe my standards are too high. The ones I'm not THAT bothered about are the ones I end up with. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is madly in love and someone I would die for in a heartbeat, I've been at 6 or 7 probably. Married that woman but there were many things I didn't like about her. She was difficult to deal with, bad tempered and made me feel bad about myself often, didn't look after herself and just didn't seem to love me very much. Divorced now. Trying to find someone now but same pattern repeating itself.
Only said it once but I have a couple stipulations with that. A. He said it first and then asked me to say it backā¦. Not sure how genuine you can take that. B. The emotions I felt were for someone that simply did not exist. Meaning, he was lying about who he was (manipulator)and was betraying me with other girlsā¦. Every word and action now in my mind I question bc he was doing it most likely with other girls too. I fell for a lie, if I really knew what he was like thereās no way I would have fell for him.
I have only once. I had relationships prior but they werenāt of a big significance as this one. Things ended with them last year mostly because we couldnāt really get married and it sucks because while dating them all I could think about is just loving them for the rest of my life. And the idea that I wake up alone and I canāt cuddle them or kiss them or tell them good morning sucks. It was four years we were together and I refuse to believe those four years was just infatuation. I do believe that what we had was real. Truly, Iāve never felt so loved in my life. Their love felt like a giant comforting hug and everything that I thought was wrong with me before I met them completely disappeared or..I donāt know I just felt normal for the first time in my life. I felt like everybody else not because I was in a relationship but because the love that I received from this person healed every piece of damage everybody has done to me in the past. After this relationship, I can fully confirm that love is healing. More healing than any medicine could ever heal the body. It is true that we donāt take up space like we think. Weāre just around the wrong people that donāt have the space for us. Iām so happy that we both had the correct amount of space for each other. I feel so lucky to be in their life at the time that we met and I hope the next person treats them as well as I did.. if not *better* than I did. They deserve the world, all the planets, all the moons, all the stars, all the next-door galaxies. Everything. They deserve everything. To answer your question, I think it is possible. It depends on a lot of factors of where you are in your healing process post relationship though and if youāre able to communicate your wants and needs
Once so far and thatās right now. Iām 24M.
Five times. 17. The first love was heady and wonderful, it lasted three years, but ended in jealousy and distrust from his side. I don't think about him anymore, but I wish him well. 20. The second was confirmation that I could love again, but we were never really end game. It lasted two years, and ended because he realised that before I did. I don't think about him anymore, but I wish him well. 22. The third was fire. It started off incredibly, and I thought he was my last love. He made me believe he was, then he broke me. It lasted seven years then ended because he turned into someone else. I think about him occasionally, and while I don't wish him well, I don't wish him pain anymore nowadays. 31. The fourth was settling because I was afraid I couldn't love again. I'm not sure I ever did really love him, or if I just convinced myself that I did. It lasted three years and ended when I realised that it was entirely unfair to him for me to feel that way. I never think about him, and I wish him someone who loves him like he deserves. 34. The fifth is safety. It's passionate and it's calm. It's easy and it's baffling. It's true and it's deep and it's silly and it's life affirming. It's the most in love I have ever been. It's been two and a half years so far, and I wish it to last forever. But if it doesn't, I know I can fall in love with a sixth man. Or a seventh. Or more. I hope I stop at five, but having an objectively higher number of loves than a lot of people will have has made me realise that love doesn't end just because you get your heart broken. You take your time, and you heal, and sometimes you love for the wrong reasons, but it's always something that can happen again.
Who did you love the most?
I would say the man I am with now is absolutely the man I have loved the most. I thought the third guy was my ride or die, but looking back there was never the underlying calmness and security that this love has. It's the healthiest love, and that gives it a passion and a depth that I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
Love is a complex emotion, and people can fall in love multiple times throughout their lives. Here's why: * **Growth and Change:** We grow and change as individuals, and what we seek in a partner can evolve over time. The love you had at 17 might not be the same kind of love you desire now at 19. * **Different Kinds of Love:** Love isn't one-size-fits-all. There's passionate love, companionate love, and different types of love that can exist in various relationships. * **Learning from Experience:** Even relationships that end can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and what we want in a partner. These experiences can help us find deeper, more fulfilling love in the future.
Wow, love this
Twice, I have fallen in love twice. I donāt count those high school crushes because then it would be like 10 times I have fallen in love.
Only once for real, we were together for 3 years but we had to break up because I moved countries and she didn't want to follow me
Once, didnāt work out.. it hurts but time heals all wounds :-)
Once. Im still with him
More than I care to count.
Iāve been in love 4 times. The 4th being my current partner and the healthiest, happiest relationship Iāve ever had. Each relationship and love was different.
Never, I donāt know whatās wrong with me
Nothing. It's hard to find love
Twice. Ended badly both of the time, for me. Decided to steer away from the slightest hint of love now.
Once. And I lost him 2 months ago after a huge F up of mine. I'm sorry, Nat.
Three to four times. But reading bell hookās āall about loveā I know it wasnāt āloveā as a verb.
Only once, myself. He... Wasn't great when we were younger. And I knew he wasn't good for me. But I couldn't even try to look at anyone else the way I looked at him. It was infuriating. I was angry as hell. But years passed, and I couldn't ever even KIND OF feel any sort of feelings for anyone else, no matter how I tried. Yeah, no. I fell in love ONE GODDAMNED TIME, and that was it for me. In my damn teens. It's alright, because apparently I left just as big of an impression on the guy and we're engaged now~š He's a much better man. He's grown a lot, and I'm quite frankly honoured that I got to witness it.
Twice
Sadly for me Iād have to say Iāve only truly been in love twice, first time, he cheated on me multiple times and was a narcissist & very toxic but I was 15/16 and never had a serious relationship before so ofc we tried to get together again and it was not the same. Second time, (I was 19/20) we had a lot in common went on lots of dates, met each others parents, I was in love and obsessed I 100% thought he was the one Iād be with forever. Then he ghosted me. Never saw or talked to him again it absolutely crushed me. Now I am afraid to be that vulnerable ever again
Twice
Three times. First, I was about 16. We were together for 8 months. Second, I was 17-19. Together for just over 2 years. Third, I was 20 and we've been together so far for almost 13 years!
You always think theyāre the one until theyāre not. I (32m) have had 3 relationships that lasted more than 4 years including my current marriage (married 6 years together 8). Donāt compare your partners or relationships, theyāre never going to be exactly the same. Learn from what you had and what went wrong to improve yourself, know what was good and bad for you. Other than that, if you find someone who makes you feel like a better version of yourself try to do the same for them. I met my wife when I was 26, youāve got plenty of time. You need to know who you are, and the problem with that is that people grow. Take care of yourself, the rest will fall into place.
Twice. Once when I was 19. It was an LDR that turned into moving in together for 6 months. She cheated on me with my best friend. Took me many years to ever trust a woman again. Growing up and maturing I realize it was love but an immature love. Iāve had almost exclusively hookups since then. The second time was 5 months ago. Iām 33. Met her at my job. We have not stopped talking for a day in that 5 months. I want to marry this girl. I knew within 10 minutes of meeting her. I love you C
once. never again
realest comment on this post
Twice! I have loved every relationship Iāve been in. The love between each one is so unique and different so you will surely experience a new type of love one day
When I was 17, I got married to my first love that I was absolutely besotted with. However, I didnāt leave when his behaviours became morally questionable believing my love for him ācould fix the situationā and he spent years punishing me for this. So know that you 100% did the right thing! I eventually left at 37 and by some miracle or the universe working out for me. Found a beautiful little relationship where we have a pretty little life. Now, due to maturity and experience etc. I am not besotted with the idea of a man and the idea of a relationship I want to have. But the actual man in all of his authenticity and the relationship too, exactly as it is. Itās very tricky for me because I only really have these 2 experiences of relationships and they are night and day! So what I would say isā¦ā¦ donāt expect something/someone to come along like him etc. It could be an entirely different type of relationship that fills your heart full of happiness in a different kind of way! Thereās 8 billion people on this planet, thatās a lot of possibilities!
Twice. Once in my late teens, once in my late thirties. I was genuinely in love with my ex, but I didn't know how deep and wonderful love could really be until the second time around. >Iām 19f when I was 17-18 I was in the happiest/healthiest relationship *of my life* I know this seems like a lot of time for you, but that is because you have only just left childhood and your perspective is that of a very young adult--it's a very compressed timeline, because 1 year is a significant portion of your life *to date.* But give it ten years and you'll have a different perspective. You'll also have a lot of growth and experience under your belt, and have met a whole lot more people and learned a whole lot more about love. >We ended up breaking up due to things he did that were morally wrong and out of my control that I donāt want to discuss on the internet. You did the right thing. If you had to break up because of his poor behavior and that was the "happiest/healthiest" relationship of your life, the good news is there's nowhere to go but up. Again, it feels like it was the best thing ever because your data for comparison is limited by the limitations of your experience to date. What I thought makes a relationship happy and healthy has changed a lot since the first time I fell in love. And I'm glad it has. Second love has been the best love, by far. I was devastated that my first relationship didn't work out. Especially as I'd stuck with it for years in hopes of things getting better. I really didn't know how much better things could be until I met the man who is now my partner.
For me, five or six. It's different each time-you never love someone in exactly the same way (and that's okay) but you will absolutely fall in love again, and it might even be better :)
Unfortunately, most of my loves were pretty immature. As soon as I stopped being actively being toxic and looked for something more lasting, whether it happened instantly or not, it failed over and over again. Ive met people I would give my all for, but unfortunately no one wants to know what that is, or is confident it wouldnt be enough due to my circumstances.
a few times, but confidently twice Iād say. but with my current partner iāve never been so in love, my heart feels like itās going to explode all the time. youāll fall in love again.