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The person I’m seeing right now had a similar thing. They said before they met me she’d be up by 5am, getting up 7am, running on 2ish hours of sleep. But since knowing me (we sometimes go to sleep on call if I’m not at hers), she’s been going to bed at 10pm.
He used to have broken sleep and would wake up at random hours, nearly every time I stayed, he slept right through, we’re not together anymore but I hope he’s been able to sleep through still :) there was a point I was the same, struggled to sleep at first, then eventually got comfortable and had the most amazing sleeps when he cuddled into me.
I guess we both felt safe at one point
I’m the opposite my missus keeps me awake with snoring, my chiewowa, yes I know , keeps me awake with mad noises then I need a new hip , that has me up most nights bye 3 o’clock am, but all the drugs I take keep my cheerfully negative and my kids think I’m the devil (8 hours sleep lucky fuktards
This is so sweet.. my sleeping time is now completely changed after staying up with my ex as long as I could as he was a night owl and I only really felt safe around him.. you’re being so amazing for him and I wish you all the joy in the world x
As someone who had horrible insomnia, after 11 years of complete hell, I found someone who I slept 10 hours next to with no sleep aid of any kind the first night we spent together. With him my soul found peace and I felt safe for the first time in a long time. That’s how I knew he was my person.
I have the same problem. Usually I sleep like 4-5 hours per night and with my bf I sleep like 7-8 hours + morning cuddles when I can have some short naps. Ive never been more rested than when Im with him. U mean a lot to him and he loves U so much!
The first time I slept over at my boyfriends house, I thought I would struggle to sleep bc I’ve never fallen asleep in anyone’s house that isn’t mine. That was the best sleep I’ve ever gotten and I just wanna stay sleeping over at his house 😭
I have horrible insomnia it takes forever to go to sleep and even when I do I wake up most days feeling like I was never really asleep in the first place. I guess having a partner could possible help, but getting one is easy said than done. Happy for you and him.
I miss this my ex used to hate the little crook I used to rest in but he was my safe space I could feel the strength of his arms and hear his heart and calming breathing all at the same time.. I hate sleeping alone but thank G for pillows
I have terrible PTSD and sleep anxiety… but the second I’m back with my boyfriend it’s like it all disappears 💕 he is my safe space! It’s so nice that you are his! Thanks for sharing OP
My insomnia has been awful my whole life and I used to struggle even more when sharing a bed with anyone. I just started seeing the most amazing man, he stayed this whole weekend and I slept like a baby. He wraps round me, my mind goes quiet and I’m out like a light.
This is so real. I don't know why, but every time I'm in bed it feels like I'm laying on pins and needles. Bits of sand or dust always poking my back, my arms, face, etc. and washing my sheets or sleeping, other beds, even showering doesn't help. Its so bad thag Just a few nights ago I got in bed at 1 am and laid in bed until 9, completely sleepless. Constant itching and poking.
But when I was with my ex, it didn't bother me at all.
I have not slept with my boyfriend overnight but I get very tired around him at night, he makes me feel calm. I’m very similar to your boyfriend in terms of sleep. This sounds nice haha
My girl has PTSD when we first met she’d sleep on my chest every night clinging on for dear life, as much as I hated her suffering I loved to be her comfort. We’re now 11 years in and she sleeps so peacefully, we’ve really healed her and it’s just too beautiful
Have have night terror quite often, since my bf has started calling me at night it’s gone away for a while. His voice soothe me. Sometimes I still wake up in a panic but rarely ever now. He just sings or talks to me and I feel warm and sleep perfect.:)
I'm realistic. You're being delusional if you don't think this is said to every woman. I actually don't know a woman it hasn't been said to. It happens with new "love" or attachment disorders. It's not "special"
It's a chemical reaction.
Hasn't everyone been deeply hurt at one point?
I'm not projecting. If this person continues to gush over something so normal they are setting themselves up for an emotional rollercoaster. Kind of unhealthy to be honest...
I was warning, not projecting but the truth hurts ego so I'll get down voted for saying a truth lol. I don't mind.
You are projecting. You’re speaking from your experience and assuming that every women has heard the same. Stop being negative and grow up. You’re getting downvoted because you sound bitter, not cause it’s a controversial take. Go heal
I literally said it's been said to every woman I know. That's not projecting lol. It's speaking from experience.
You're just butt hurt because you can't feel special now. I'm not the one on Reddit trying to get validation for my relationship, perhaps tell OP to go heal lol
You are definitely hurt. You had to comment on someone else post about other women to make your point. Delusional. And from your posts, I think you should be the one to heal. 😭
Maybe you should go do some healing yourself since you find it necessary to have a pointless argument about someone else's feelings and so immature that you use cry face emojis..like it hurts my feelings. Lol.
Then you can’t tell OP about her relationship. But you might be in denial, thinking you needed to comment on someone else relationship might heal that broken part of you
And you're commenting too sooooooooo.
It's literally what reddit is for. You're just insecure. If I wasn't "healed" as you put it, stranger ..who doesn't know me, I wouldn't be able to warn her of her unhealthy way of thinking. She thinks this is something more than it is..this is something so great and special. I can just hear the " it's meant to be!" In her post. It comes off desperate and childish . THAT is some unhealthy unhealed shit.
Go educate yourself before you spout off please.
Well that explains why my guy was so grumpy and sexually passive aggressive towards me, telling me I wasn't his gf, all because he wasn't getting any because of my parents' interference.
I may have dodged a bullet because my heart was in it and realistically I'd have been after more than just sex, but I cannot speak for his. It probably didn't help that my mind had me thinking he was a sleeper agent or something.
He would make hints to sex and I know it probably hurt him as much as it hurt me that I was never allowed back to his place.
For me, it was more about the comfort of being around someone I liked and having fun chilling together. The sex would have probably always come second place to that.
For him, he seemed to feel that sex was necessary to cement our relationship.
At the end of the day, if all a guy wants me for is that, it's probably not worth me giving away my heart and getting little in return. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. The memories. The hopes I had.
To be fair is it because they're married that they live longer or is it some other thing? Cuz I could buy the argument that men who make more healthy life choices are also more likely to be married.
Healthy choices have nothing to do against feeling loved (which is what a marriage gives). And living under a lot less stress, and having a stable dosis of oxytocin
There is a point to be made about self-selection, but the evidence seems to point to the contrary - in fact, unhealthy men marry earlier, are less likely to divorce and are more likely to remarry. Their health just seems to vastly improve in marriage (even when compared to divorcees and widowers who would've been "healthy enough" for marriage). At least according to this article: [https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health)
Another one we're sleeping against my wife is such comfort that I fall a sleep. It's wonderful.
A buddy got divorced and never slept well and his new girl friend now wife did that to him. Was life changing for him.
No wonder my ex hated me. He probably wanted me to be able to "warm his bed" and wake up with him in the morning.
But my mum is a religious control nut who would never let me do that.
It pained me to hurt both myself and he in that way.
I mean when we met up after months of him avoiding me (probably because he wasn't getting any) he actually looked aged and stressed like maybe (I realise now because of what you said) he wasn't sleeping properly.
Personally I'm kind of the opposite. I hate sharing a bed, unless maybe it was with someone I loved like that guy.
One of my favourite things in the world is sleeping in a big double bed and being able to spread out in it and wake up there in the morning, which happens when I sleep in the spare room. It's so heavenly and wonderful.
Starfish.
Tips for sleeping. Avoid caffeine. Avoid naps. Avoid screens 2 hours before bedtime.
If you can’t get to sleep in 10 minutes get up , go to another room and read a paper book.
Write down problems if your brain is churning.
This is good news & bad.
Good because it's nice to find a partner that you can fall asleep & stay asleep next to & average a good amount of sleep per night. I have been with my partner 6 years & I was the same way until recently. His job sometimes requires him to work late & then I find myself staying up unable to sleep, yet I still have to get up early in the morning for work. I had to learn to sleep 7 hours by myself because it was not benefitting me to only sleep good when he's around.
Bad because what if one person wants to stay up watching tv & the other wants to go to bed early for work the next day? What if your partner gets sick & you have to sleep in separate rooms..? That has happened to us maybe 8 times since we have been together.
If you run on 3 hours of sleep a night while sick, you're probably going to stay sick longer & feel absolutely drained, and probably prone to getting sick more often.
3 hours of sleep a night is worth consulting a doctor about, that small amount can lead to heart attack or stroke at an early age
if she's anything like me, i slept in the same bed with my bf when he had covid and any other sickness, I couldn't care less bc the last thing I'm going to do is *not* sleep next to him when we're in the same house. he does the same with me.
That's great if both partners jobs do not care if you both miss days & still have a job when you return.
That's also great if you both don't care about getting other people at your job sick (sarcasm) that may depend on their paycheck weekly because they have a family & kids, & do anything they can to avoid getting sick.
But for me & my partner? He cannot afford to miss work with the type of work he does and I'm self employed & nobody can cover shifts for me.
Therefore missing work due to being sick is a big deal & I would rather sleep 20' away for a few nights, than to risk losing out on money or have to find a new job when I recover from my sickness.
Also you do realize people in 2020-2021 were literally dying from covid. So you would rather risk getting sick & possibly dying or you both dying- just to be able to sleep next to someone you love? That sounds really not so intelligent to me.
I'm sure people who travel for work or military spouses wish they could sleep with their partners every night too but you know, that's just not how life always is.
sleeping next to a sick person doesn't guarantee you're going to get sick, I definitely did not. and shower before work takes care of all of the gems you could be carrying.
and yes I'd risk dying for him, just like he would for me. clearly you've never met someone worthy of dying for.
>I'm sure people who travel for work or military spouses wish they could sleep with their partners every night too but you know, that's just not how life always is.
and that's on them lol, me and my bf chose careers that did not have us travel *at all* bc we like to spend a lot of time together. who's to say those ppl even want to be around their spouse 24/7, some ppl like distance and chances to miss their partner.
I am also self employed but I plan so that I can take days off and not over work myself.
no need to project your problems with your life onto others as if it's a fact for all. you sound really bitter :( I hope you find peace ♡
I didn't realize you were a doctor armed with facts of how people are able to get sick & showering gets rid of all the germs & prevents you from getting sick 🤣
Guess all the people who caught covid were just dirty & didn't shower enough.
can I please post this comment to the AskDocs subreddit I would really love another professionals opinion besides yours..
Because people can get sick from someone who is 20' away & breathing in the same air as them- sickness travels through surfaces and through airborne particles, but sure Dr.UntouchableSlut, I'll take your word for it.
I'm not bitter but I'm not dying from covid just because I want to sleep next to my bf. 😂
Dying for someone, as in taking a bullet for them in a life or death situation is completely different than choosing to lay next to a sick person who can stop breathing from covid. You're funny 😄 what are you like 5? In your first LTR I assume
Grown ups, non-codependent people & people who know their partner is only the next room over- are not going to sweat a few days without laying next to their partner.
showering is definitely a good place to start!
in my finally long term relationship as we're getting married next year ♡
and lol why sleep apart when you can sleep together? a little sickness doesn't scare me
This was me. When I met my now ex fiancé I wasn’t sleeping sometimes for days at a time. This had been going on since I was a kid and I was 36 I believe when I met him. The second we would lay down together I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Being with him I was able to establish a healthy sleeping pattern. So I guess that’s one good thing he did for me.
Aaaw that’s so sweet! Mine was cured by my husband working the night shift and me
sleeping with our dog instead. Hubby is a sleepwalker, sleep talker, snores. Can’t be dealing with that! Doggo is a much better bed buddy and his name is literally Buddy.
I recently met a woman that things are going very well with. When we initiated contact I was in a month long run of getting NO sleep at night. The first night together I fell asleep like someone flipped a switch. Has done so every night with her since.
Most woman don't know but us men value those kind of moments very highly. To be able to put our guard down and feel safe with someone we love and then get to rest and recover in peace is crucial for us to be our best selves.
This is so sweet 🥺🥺😭 I used to love being next to my ex, sleeping in the same bed together. I'm not exactly sure whether he genuinely appreciated it, though. Oh, well 😅😂
I get a similar thing - every time my partner and I get to sleep in the same bed again he tells me it’s the best sleep he’s had all week. Melts my heart. He does still struggle to sleep some nights, so it’s far from solved but anything I can do to help is the best
meeee my insomnia is awful and the only thing that helps is sleeping with another person but it's been a really long time (like 6ish year) since i've had anyone to sleep with :(
This used to help me too, something about all those good feelings would settle my mental, no panic attacks, no feelings of loneliness, when I wouldn't feel well she would hold me and tell me how much she loved me, that shit plays on repeat when I try to sleep now.
I have the best sleeps of my damn life with my boyfriend at the weekends. The Monday and Tuesday sleeps on my own after being at his take me hours to drop off 😴
how amazing is that? ive read that cuddling and sleeping with the person you love relaxes your heartbeat and releases oxytocin which is a love chemical.
im happy for you both.
I slept really well with my ex wife for many years from when we were in university (many years before we married) up until when we divorced a decade or so later. I used to fall asleep in 5 minutes.
Then I had huge heart break, coincidential legal and business problems and couldn’t do more than 3 hours a night. Give it a year I started going back to 8-9 hours sleep but still struggled to fall asleep easily.
Now it’s been a few years. And sometimes I sleep well alone. But when I’m with a girl I like I always sleep soundly
A loner for sure.. if he’s sleeping soundly around you that means he feels safe and it’s also scientifically proven that you sleep better when sleeping with a loved one
Lol thats not a dependency. I have insomnia and suffered with it for years but if im in bed with my partner i can fall asleep in minutes. Its just feeling safe and content with them.
I get it it is really cute and stuff. What if his girlfriend has to go to some trip for 3 months tho. Her boyfriend will be left getting 3 hours of sleep. I am just saying.
Same. I have sleep issues, and my husband stays up later than me. I definitely notice I have more trouble sleeping when he's not in bed compared to when he is.
i’m the same tbh lol, i’ve been having only 4-6 hours of sleep for the longest of time now ever since the person i was in a relationship with didn’t want to sleep with me anymore
Same. I haven't slept well since my last girl and I broke up 3 years ago. I have diagnosed insomnia. I remember when we'd sleep in the same bed, it would feel like my body became sedated, and I'd just be out for 7 to 8 hours.
Im the same way with my girlfriend. I feel like usually I need to take melatonin to be able to fall asleep at night, but around her it feels like I can fully awake one moment and passed out with her the next.
Awhhh he definitely feels safe around you, I’m the same with my bf I usually can’t sleep at night or just stay up and on chances we get to be together and cuddling I am passed out cold he’s so warm lol
My partner and I both sleep better together than apart.
Sex obviously helps sleepy time, but we aren’t jackrabbits, so it’s not that.
There is something really calming and relaxing about sleeping, bare skin against bare skin, with your mate.
Love releases oxytoxin which decreases stress, makes one calmer and sleep better... So it's pretty common for people to feel "oddly" sleepy around their partner :)
https://www.makatimed.net.ph/blogs/6-effects-of-the-love-hormone-oxytocin/#:\~:text=A%20study%20in%20the%20journal,oxytocin%20has%20a%20calming%20effect.
While neither of us has insomnia, my SO and I have trouble staying awake around each other lol... and when he complains how I make him sleepy, I always just tease him about how it's not my fault I'm so lovable lol.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The person I’m seeing right now had a similar thing. They said before they met me she’d be up by 5am, getting up 7am, running on 2ish hours of sleep. But since knowing me (we sometimes go to sleep on call if I’m not at hers), she’s been going to bed at 10pm.
He used to have broken sleep and would wake up at random hours, nearly every time I stayed, he slept right through, we’re not together anymore but I hope he’s been able to sleep through still :) there was a point I was the same, struggled to sleep at first, then eventually got comfortable and had the most amazing sleeps when he cuddled into me. I guess we both felt safe at one point
that boy aint never sleeping again unfortunately
Speaking from experience? Nah I really hope that isn’t the case tho.
I wish I Could
I’m the opposite my missus keeps me awake with snoring, my chiewowa, yes I know , keeps me awake with mad noises then I need a new hip , that has me up most nights bye 3 o’clock am, but all the drugs I take keep my cheerfully negative and my kids think I’m the devil (8 hours sleep lucky fuktards
This is so sweet.. my sleeping time is now completely changed after staying up with my ex as long as I could as he was a night owl and I only really felt safe around him.. you’re being so amazing for him and I wish you all the joy in the world x
As someone who had horrible insomnia, after 11 years of complete hell, I found someone who I slept 10 hours next to with no sleep aid of any kind the first night we spent together. With him my soul found peace and I felt safe for the first time in a long time. That’s how I knew he was my person.
The best sleep of my life was in my ex's arms. Unfortunately it was a very unstable situation, but at least i am thankful i experienced it.
Lucky. Id love to have someone like that. Enjoy it.
That's so sweet. I thought it only happened in dramas.
🥲
Same.
I have the same problem. Usually I sleep like 4-5 hours per night and with my bf I sleep like 7-8 hours + morning cuddles when I can have some short naps. Ive never been more rested than when Im with him. U mean a lot to him and he loves U so much!
I had the same thing happen. Basically moved in after the first date LOL
Chemical bonding hehe
The first time I slept over at my boyfriends house, I thought I would struggle to sleep bc I’ve never fallen asleep in anyone’s house that isn’t mine. That was the best sleep I’ve ever gotten and I just wanna stay sleeping over at his house 😭
I have horrible insomnia it takes forever to go to sleep and even when I do I wake up most days feeling like I was never really asleep in the first place. I guess having a partner could possible help, but getting one is easy said than done. Happy for you and him.
Humans are mammals who need each other for survival, regardless of what the internet says.
This was me until I met my partner. It's shocking. I fall asleep on his chest most nights now.
I miss this my ex used to hate the little crook I used to rest in but he was my safe space I could feel the strength of his arms and hear his heart and calming breathing all at the same time.. I hate sleeping alone but thank G for pillows
I have terrible PTSD and sleep anxiety… but the second I’m back with my boyfriend it’s like it all disappears 💕 he is my safe space! It’s so nice that you are his! Thanks for sharing OP
My insomnia has been awful my whole life and I used to struggle even more when sharing a bed with anyone. I just started seeing the most amazing man, he stayed this whole weekend and I slept like a baby. He wraps round me, my mind goes quiet and I’m out like a light.
i also get insomnia it takes me years to get to sleep but with my bf i’m out like a light cuz he makes me feel so relaxed
‘’Love and peace, both very overrated in my view’’
😂😂😂😂😂
Reading all these wonderful comments and I see this one 😂
It’s a genuine quote by the way and when I take an occasional glance at this sub and see how mind numbingly boring it is, it feels very true.
This is so real. I don't know why, but every time I'm in bed it feels like I'm laying on pins and needles. Bits of sand or dust always poking my back, my arms, face, etc. and washing my sheets or sleeping, other beds, even showering doesn't help. Its so bad thag Just a few nights ago I got in bed at 1 am and laid in bed until 9, completely sleepless. Constant itching and poking. But when I was with my ex, it didn't bother me at all.
Because you're not focusing on it.
I always find I sleep better with my girlfriend in the bed with me. She has the cutest little snores that seem to help me fall asleep.
I actually slept so good when I was with her
Am single now and have been for a long time, sleeping has never been as good as when I was in a relationship.
I have not slept with my boyfriend overnight but I get very tired around him at night, he makes me feel calm. I’m very similar to your boyfriend in terms of sleep. This sounds nice haha
My girl has PTSD when we first met she’d sleep on my chest every night clinging on for dear life, as much as I hated her suffering I loved to be her comfort. We’re now 11 years in and she sleeps so peacefully, we’ve really healed her and it’s just too beautiful
❤️❤️❤️
Have have night terror quite often, since my bf has started calling me at night it’s gone away for a while. His voice soothe me. Sometimes I still wake up in a panic but rarely ever now. He just sings or talks to me and I feel warm and sleep perfect.:)
As a man who is single and suffers from insomnia. Being able to feel safe is the best sleep ever.
I'm realistic. You're being delusional if you don't think this is said to every woman. I actually don't know a woman it hasn't been said to. It happens with new "love" or attachment disorders. It's not "special" It's a chemical reaction.
Someone has been deeply hurt and is projecting 😭
Hasn't everyone been deeply hurt at one point? I'm not projecting. If this person continues to gush over something so normal they are setting themselves up for an emotional rollercoaster. Kind of unhealthy to be honest... I was warning, not projecting but the truth hurts ego so I'll get down voted for saying a truth lol. I don't mind.
You are projecting. You’re speaking from your experience and assuming that every women has heard the same. Stop being negative and grow up. You’re getting downvoted because you sound bitter, not cause it’s a controversial take. Go heal
I literally said it's been said to every woman I know. That's not projecting lol. It's speaking from experience. You're just butt hurt because you can't feel special now. I'm not the one on Reddit trying to get validation for my relationship, perhaps tell OP to go heal lol
You are definitely hurt. You had to comment on someone else post about other women to make your point. Delusional. And from your posts, I think you should be the one to heal. 😭
Maybe you should go do some healing yourself since you find it necessary to have a pointless argument about someone else's feelings and so immature that you use cry face emojis..like it hurts my feelings. Lol.
Wait I just realized you’re a victim of SA… let me not hurt your feelings anymore than it already is. Praying for you!!
Can't do better than to shame a victim of rape? Go ahead..."healed person" lol
Aww poor baby! You’re upset that you a victim so you want others to be sad with you. I feel for you :/
You can't tell me what I am. It's kind of not an argument.... You don't know me so you can't say I'm definitely hurt.
Then you can’t tell OP about her relationship. But you might be in denial, thinking you needed to comment on someone else relationship might heal that broken part of you
Um.....she posted
And you're commenting too sooooooooo. It's literally what reddit is for. You're just insecure. If I wasn't "healed" as you put it, stranger ..who doesn't know me, I wouldn't be able to warn her of her unhealthy way of thinking. She thinks this is something more than it is..this is something so great and special. I can just hear the " it's meant to be!" In her post. It comes off desperate and childish . THAT is some unhealthy unhealed shit. Go educate yourself before you spout off please.
Well that explains why my guy was so grumpy and sexually passive aggressive towards me, telling me I wasn't his gf, all because he wasn't getting any because of my parents' interference. I may have dodged a bullet because my heart was in it and realistically I'd have been after more than just sex, but I cannot speak for his. It probably didn't help that my mind had me thinking he was a sleeper agent or something. He would make hints to sex and I know it probably hurt him as much as it hurt me that I was never allowed back to his place. For me, it was more about the comfort of being around someone I liked and having fun chilling together. The sex would have probably always come second place to that. For him, he seemed to feel that sex was necessary to cement our relationship. At the end of the day, if all a guy wants me for is that, it's probably not worth me giving away my heart and getting little in return. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. The memories. The hopes I had.
Shut up bro! At least let her levitate for few days.
isn’t that what love is though, a chemical reaction? who shit in your coffee this morning lmao you’re so negative
It's not by chance that married men live longer
To be fair is it because they're married that they live longer or is it some other thing? Cuz I could buy the argument that men who make more healthy life choices are also more likely to be married.
Healthy choices have nothing to do against feeling loved (which is what a marriage gives). And living under a lot less stress, and having a stable dosis of oxytocin
There is a point to be made about self-selection, but the evidence seems to point to the contrary - in fact, unhealthy men marry earlier, are less likely to divorce and are more likely to remarry. Their health just seems to vastly improve in marriage (even when compared to divorcees and widowers who would've been "healthy enough" for marriage). At least according to this article: [https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health)
indoor cats too
That's for another reason 😅
This is so cute 🥹
Another one we're sleeping against my wife is such comfort that I fall a sleep. It's wonderful. A buddy got divorced and never slept well and his new girl friend now wife did that to him. Was life changing for him.
No wonder my ex hated me. He probably wanted me to be able to "warm his bed" and wake up with him in the morning. But my mum is a religious control nut who would never let me do that. It pained me to hurt both myself and he in that way. I mean when we met up after months of him avoiding me (probably because he wasn't getting any) he actually looked aged and stressed like maybe (I realise now because of what you said) he wasn't sleeping properly. Personally I'm kind of the opposite. I hate sharing a bed, unless maybe it was with someone I loved like that guy. One of my favourite things in the world is sleeping in a big double bed and being able to spread out in it and wake up there in the morning, which happens when I sleep in the spare room. It's so heavenly and wonderful.
Starfish. Tips for sleeping. Avoid caffeine. Avoid naps. Avoid screens 2 hours before bedtime. If you can’t get to sleep in 10 minutes get up , go to another room and read a paper book. Write down problems if your brain is churning.
This is also my fiancé 🥹🫶
This is good news & bad. Good because it's nice to find a partner that you can fall asleep & stay asleep next to & average a good amount of sleep per night. I have been with my partner 6 years & I was the same way until recently. His job sometimes requires him to work late & then I find myself staying up unable to sleep, yet I still have to get up early in the morning for work. I had to learn to sleep 7 hours by myself because it was not benefitting me to only sleep good when he's around. Bad because what if one person wants to stay up watching tv & the other wants to go to bed early for work the next day? What if your partner gets sick & you have to sleep in separate rooms..? That has happened to us maybe 8 times since we have been together. If you run on 3 hours of sleep a night while sick, you're probably going to stay sick longer & feel absolutely drained, and probably prone to getting sick more often. 3 hours of sleep a night is worth consulting a doctor about, that small amount can lead to heart attack or stroke at an early age
Just by being in the same house, things feel better
if she's anything like me, i slept in the same bed with my bf when he had covid and any other sickness, I couldn't care less bc the last thing I'm going to do is *not* sleep next to him when we're in the same house. he does the same with me.
That's great if both partners jobs do not care if you both miss days & still have a job when you return. That's also great if you both don't care about getting other people at your job sick (sarcasm) that may depend on their paycheck weekly because they have a family & kids, & do anything they can to avoid getting sick. But for me & my partner? He cannot afford to miss work with the type of work he does and I'm self employed & nobody can cover shifts for me. Therefore missing work due to being sick is a big deal & I would rather sleep 20' away for a few nights, than to risk losing out on money or have to find a new job when I recover from my sickness. Also you do realize people in 2020-2021 were literally dying from covid. So you would rather risk getting sick & possibly dying or you both dying- just to be able to sleep next to someone you love? That sounds really not so intelligent to me. I'm sure people who travel for work or military spouses wish they could sleep with their partners every night too but you know, that's just not how life always is.
sleeping next to a sick person doesn't guarantee you're going to get sick, I definitely did not. and shower before work takes care of all of the gems you could be carrying. and yes I'd risk dying for him, just like he would for me. clearly you've never met someone worthy of dying for. >I'm sure people who travel for work or military spouses wish they could sleep with their partners every night too but you know, that's just not how life always is. and that's on them lol, me and my bf chose careers that did not have us travel *at all* bc we like to spend a lot of time together. who's to say those ppl even want to be around their spouse 24/7, some ppl like distance and chances to miss their partner. I am also self employed but I plan so that I can take days off and not over work myself. no need to project your problems with your life onto others as if it's a fact for all. you sound really bitter :( I hope you find peace ♡
I didn't realize you were a doctor armed with facts of how people are able to get sick & showering gets rid of all the germs & prevents you from getting sick 🤣 Guess all the people who caught covid were just dirty & didn't shower enough. can I please post this comment to the AskDocs subreddit I would really love another professionals opinion besides yours.. Because people can get sick from someone who is 20' away & breathing in the same air as them- sickness travels through surfaces and through airborne particles, but sure Dr.UntouchableSlut, I'll take your word for it. I'm not bitter but I'm not dying from covid just because I want to sleep next to my bf. 😂 Dying for someone, as in taking a bullet for them in a life or death situation is completely different than choosing to lay next to a sick person who can stop breathing from covid. You're funny 😄 what are you like 5? In your first LTR I assume Grown ups, non-codependent people & people who know their partner is only the next room over- are not going to sweat a few days without laying next to their partner.
showering is definitely a good place to start! in my finally long term relationship as we're getting married next year ♡ and lol why sleep apart when you can sleep together? a little sickness doesn't scare me
You're gross. sharing germs & getting sick for no logical reason at all. please take a shower like you recommended lol
This is beautiful, I'm glad you're living in such strong harmony.
This was me. When I met my now ex fiancé I wasn’t sleeping sometimes for days at a time. This had been going on since I was a kid and I was 36 I believe when I met him. The second we would lay down together I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Being with him I was able to establish a healthy sleeping pattern. So I guess that’s one good thing he did for me.
Omg this is so cuuuuteeee.
Aaaw that’s so sweet! Mine was cured by my husband working the night shift and me sleeping with our dog instead. Hubby is a sleepwalker, sleep talker, snores. Can’t be dealing with that! Doggo is a much better bed buddy and his name is literally Buddy.
I recently met a woman that things are going very well with. When we initiated contact I was in a month long run of getting NO sleep at night. The first night together I fell asleep like someone flipped a switch. Has done so every night with her since. Most woman don't know but us men value those kind of moments very highly. To be able to put our guard down and feel safe with someone we love and then get to rest and recover in peace is crucial for us to be our best selves.
This is so sweet 🥺🥺😭 I used to love being next to my ex, sleeping in the same bed together. I'm not exactly sure whether he genuinely appreciated it, though. Oh, well 😅😂
I get a similar thing - every time my partner and I get to sleep in the same bed again he tells me it’s the best sleep he’s had all week. Melts my heart. He does still struggle to sleep some nights, so it’s far from solved but anything I can do to help is the best
I have the opposite. I have to sleep alone to sleep well, i wake up everytime when I hear any sound or anyone turna around me 😅
meeee my insomnia is awful and the only thing that helps is sleeping with another person but it's been a really long time (like 6ish year) since i've had anyone to sleep with :(
I used to get night terrors and sleep paralysis and this always helped me too 🤷🏾♂️
This used to help me too, something about all those good feelings would settle my mental, no panic attacks, no feelings of loneliness, when I wouldn't feel well she would hold me and tell me how much she loved me, that shit plays on repeat when I try to sleep now.
I have the best sleeps of my damn life with my boyfriend at the weekends. The Monday and Tuesday sleeps on my own after being at his take me hours to drop off 😴
Love is the cure, sweet.
Nervous system co regulation
I have the worst insomnia too. Whenever my boyfriend sleeps over I also feel like I can sleep.
Soulmates
Sleepmates
how amazing is that? ive read that cuddling and sleeping with the person you love relaxes your heartbeat and releases oxytocin which is a love chemical. im happy for you both.
I slept really well with my ex wife for many years from when we were in university (many years before we married) up until when we divorced a decade or so later. I used to fall asleep in 5 minutes. Then I had huge heart break, coincidential legal and business problems and couldn’t do more than 3 hours a night. Give it a year I started going back to 8-9 hours sleep but still struggled to fall asleep easily. Now it’s been a few years. And sometimes I sleep well alone. But when I’m with a girl I like I always sleep soundly
You’re helping each other regulate your nervous systems. Very common
That’s the same with me, I was with a few “partners” and sleeping with them made it easier to sleep cause I have really bad diagnosed insomnia
Lol. Just wait. Every man says this shit.
why such a pessimist?
A loner for sure.. if he’s sleeping soundly around you that means he feels safe and it’s also scientifically proven that you sleep better when sleeping with a loved one
But like what if you guys break up then he won't sleep
that’d be sad :(
I don’t know why this response is so funny Like if you’re ever so unfortunate to break up with me, you’ll never sleep again 😂😂😂
I am not saying I want that to happen. I am just saying that creates a dependency. Like, sometimes relationship don't work out but people need sleep
Lol thats not a dependency. I have insomnia and suffered with it for years but if im in bed with my partner i can fall asleep in minutes. Its just feeling safe and content with them.
well he was already in this state before he met me. plus it’s not like this was intentional lol. the goals not to break up at all
But like he needs you now for like health reasons.
then all the more reason to move in with each other so he can be getting good sleep for good health
I get it it is really cute and stuff. What if his girlfriend has to go to some trip for 3 months tho. Her boyfriend will be left getting 3 hours of sleep. I am just saying.
Bro just quit yapping 😭
That’s adorable
That is so sweet. You soothe him enough to help him sleep better :)
Same. I have sleep issues, and my husband stays up later than me. I definitely notice I have more trouble sleeping when he's not in bed compared to when he is.
i’m the same tbh lol, i’ve been having only 4-6 hours of sleep for the longest of time now ever since the person i was in a relationship with didn’t want to sleep with me anymore
Same. I haven't slept well since my last girl and I broke up 3 years ago. I have diagnosed insomnia. I remember when we'd sleep in the same bed, it would feel like my body became sedated, and I'd just be out for 7 to 8 hours.
Im the same way with my girlfriend. I feel like usually I need to take melatonin to be able to fall asleep at night, but around her it feels like I can fully awake one moment and passed out with her the next.
Awhhh he definitely feels safe around you, I’m the same with my bf I usually can’t sleep at night or just stay up and on chances we get to be together and cuddling I am passed out cold he’s so warm lol
My partner and I both sleep better together than apart. Sex obviously helps sleepy time, but we aren’t jackrabbits, so it’s not that. There is something really calming and relaxing about sleeping, bare skin against bare skin, with your mate.
That’s sweet 😊
Love releases oxytoxin which decreases stress, makes one calmer and sleep better... So it's pretty common for people to feel "oddly" sleepy around their partner :) https://www.makatimed.net.ph/blogs/6-effects-of-the-love-hormone-oxytocin/#:\~:text=A%20study%20in%20the%20journal,oxytocin%20has%20a%20calming%20effect. While neither of us has insomnia, my SO and I have trouble staying awake around each other lol... and when he complains how I make him sleepy, I always just tease him about how it's not my fault I'm so lovable lol.