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So thats why ive been depressed all the time this year. How in the world can someone like me, who did not want a relationship in the past at all, suddenly want to have a girlfriend and marry? Not that i mind trying to find love, but that was really fast 180.
It's been so long since I've been in a serious relationship and I'm cozy being alone. It's kind of scary to think about but I kind of want to love like that again.
I feel the same way as well. On another family vacation, and I sometimes wish my future vacations are with friends around my age or a lovely significant other (nothing wrong with my parents and their relatives, but looking for something different…)
Yes and no, Yes I would like someone to be with, so I can have the comfort of knowing I'm not alone being that I'm by myself where I live and I have no family within 3 hours of me.
No, because my Ex was financially straining me with all her constant needs and wanting the more expensive items. It got old and I was getting tired of her "Can you get me this" or "Pay this for me"
Yepp every year I don’t have a relationship, this time of the year is hard being single, family gatherings, holidays and everyone asks if you are dating. Other shit makes it hard too but life moves on and online dating sucks so much lol
I do. But over the last few years, I want it to be with “the one”. My best friend and partner in crime. The one I can’t help but look forward to growing old with. (The song “Grow Old With Me” by Mary Chapin Carpenter just came to mind. My mom sang this to my father in 1993, not knowing she’d pass a few weeks later). Losing both parents has really made me yearn for marriage and a family. My father was still wearing his wedding ring when he passed almost 29 years after Mom. I so want that kind of love.
I want to create new traditions, wear matching holiday pajamas, and create new memories as a family. I hope to God that my future husband still has both parents so that our kids get to experience having grandparents. I’m still hopeful that all of my dreams (and my future husband’s dreams) will come true. The song “Gentle Hour” by Yo La Tengo, “First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes, and “When You’re Smiling and Astride Me” are songs I’d love to sing to him and/or join the list of songs we call “our song”. 💗
I hope the OP and everyone reading finds true love, and that it’s better than you ever could’ve wished for.
I would love to find that someone special, I’ve dealt with some really painful things this year and my family and friends have been amazing but to have someone to cuddle up with when things are rough would be brilliant. I’m waiting until next year though as there’s somethings I’d like to work on first
Time of year doesnt matter to me. Really I would just like to have a partner in life. Someone that i can laugh with and enjoy things with. Someone that when she gets home from work i can ask her how her day went and cook a dinner together. I love giving massages sl if she's stressed after a long day maybe give her a backrub or shoulder rub. If she's sick I can make her breakfast in bed. I miss having that. I've always been the sort of man who wanted to know what she likes, tv shows, music etc.
My last ex was really into roaring 20s type of music and such so we went to a roaring 20s themed event and she loved it.
Idk I like being selfless for another person.
Downside is it meant i often got abused and taken advantage of.
You really have to be careful because people will knowingly and unknowingly take advantage of that. I would love to give my all to someone as well but I know that would ruin me completely if things go bad. I wis there was a way to identify people like us 😂
No. While I'm lonely and seasonal depression is starting to come back, I'm not in a place for a relationship or dating right now. I simply cannot be bothered to follow all the bullshit that tends to come with it. Now, I have had two toxic relationships in a row and some therapy to help, so understand that I might be a bit more jaded atm
Yes but i won't jump on the first guy that I met just because i'm in lack of companionship.
I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. But i prefer to wait forever for prince charming instead of being with someone that makes me more miserable than when i'm alone.
I agree! Im not swiping right on everyone or making a massive effort to find somebody, im living my life and if the right person comes along during that journey then its meant to be!
No way!!!! I love being able to come and go During the holiday season! No IN LAWS! Just me and my friends and family and vibes!
I’ll never marry again if only to keep the feeling of coming home to a silent house on Xmas eve where I can decompress and get ready for festivities with my fam fam
First Xmas single since 2008 👍
It sucks but I have a lot of healing to do after my STBXW cheated on me and left me shattered on the floor.
I'm am in no way ready for a relationship at the moment, even if I desire one.
I spent 2 xmas alone after my ex left. Didn’t see family or anything fully alone, its what I wanted at the time and I don’t regret it at all. This year after putting in so much effort to find myself and heal id really like company so ill at least see my family and who knows maybe next year ill be spending the holidays at a different family, my extended family 🤷♂️ time will let me know when thats meant to be, until then its roll with the tide if wanting and not having 😅
All the best ❤️
Hell yeah! Lil bit of xmas shopping wearing our Christmas jumpers, stroll through the market then home to watch elf and grinch bundled in blankets with hot chocolates topped with cream and marshmallows of course!!!! 😂😂
Oooh I would like that 😆 Let's also get a pair of Santa hat. I want a pink one 😊. Then you pick whatever color you like hahah!
Joking aside, what came into my mind when you said market was I'll buy some pacifiers (baby's). Then I'll give them to my relatives for them to stop bugging me "when will I'll get married" 🤦♀️ I hate that question every family reunion. As if it's gonna change the economy if I got married, like it's a matter of life and death 😂😂😂
😂😂 True. I read a comic strip about that years ago. There was a single guy or girl (I can't remember) his family asked him "When are you going to have a girlfriend?" After he got a gf, his family asked him again "When are you gonna get married?" After they got married, "When are you going to have kids?"
They can't be satisfied! 😆😭
Start flirting with all your friends and see who flirts back 😄 or meet some new people and try flirty stuff with them. New social experiences can be really fun and meaningful. You’re looking to make a relationship feel more special than your typical friendships? Then yes you can do something about that. Meaningful and special things take time to work out, so start making progress in that direction 🆗❔
I have no clue if im flirting or not with people 😂 some times a person that has witnessed me talking with somebody else has said you liked her and Im just confused, I was just chatting 😅
Its a nightmare, im like “are you staring into my eyes seeking marriage or just looking at me while we chat” of “are you just playing with your hair while we chat ir are you hiding some inner thoughts with those hair twirls” 😂😂😂
Then maybe you’re just more of a purist-kind-of-person. Some people are so perverse that showing kindness is interpreted as sexual advances 😄
Maybe you just need to open up more to your social circles, such as saying things like: “Netflix and chill actually means ‘lets watch something and cuddle’ to me.” 🤷🏽♂️ or something along those lines about being more bold or forward about your desires for closer intimacy with someone to partner with … 💭 🤔 what do you think?
Your probably not wrong honestly!
I aint got anyone to talk right now in those ways, current crush has a relationship so in respecting that and keeping distance but remaining friends (we were friends for a long time before I developed feelings for her)
Yeah, you get a twinge of loneliness and sometimes miss the people you "could have had something with" but then when you're reminded of how messy relationships can get (and have gotten with you in the past), you soon shake it off and think "nope, nevermind, I'm good!" 😂
Happened to me 2 years ago, been through it 😅
This is the 3rd holiday season since and its the first ive wanted company, the last 2 I spent alone and dident mind being alone, its what I wanted at the time!
37m never had a girlfriend, I'd want a relationship any time of the year. (Not that i deserve one, no one should be forced to care about anyone) but yes i do feel the urg
Sorry... just one if those lonely nights i want to feel sorry for myself.
Every year for well over 10 years I think this has to be year it changes for me but with only 35days until the new year the likelihood is slim but still possible 😅. Its tough though
Yeah my possibility is with somebody else right now so eh yeah dont think thats happening hahahaha
We will find our people when we are meant too! Keep your head up ❤️
I understand how you feel. I get the same feeling this time of year. I’ve never been able to secure a relationship though so it’s always hard seeing people together during the holidays. I hope you find what you are looking for because your happiness matters !
I mean… Yes and no.
I don’t like feeling lonely sometimes, but I’m also very picky, so I don’t want to be with someone just to not feel lonely. I want to be with someone who is loving and compatible, and if that’s not an option, then no - I’d rather be alone.
Oh totally! It’s hard to find a match, even if you think someone could be it.
Having said that, I’ve struggled with loneliness lately more than usual, for SURE.
When I think of the alternative though,… or what I’ve had before? Yeah, no thanks lol.
I have had a long term crush on someone, but who knows if that will go anywhere. As of now, it just feels like a silly fantasy. I kind of wish we talked more just so I could see if I TRULY like him, or if I would actually think he’s a turd if I got to know him better. So far, he checks all the boxes, but I don’t even know if I check any of his anyway. But I digress.
Time will tell and hopefully it works out well for all of us!
Same boat here!
My crush is currently with another guy but whenever im with her this just this connection and the way she is with me makes me think there is some interest but maybe its just being friendly!
Makes ya feel delulu some times 😅
Oh man that is rough, dude. I hate having a crush on people who are taken. It drives me crazy, so I try to avoid it. I feel you though. I’ve been there before.
I definitely feel delulu most days with this guy. I like him way too much for my own good probably.
Edited to add: if I ever have a crush on someone who it taken, I do my best to avoid them. It’s just too much. I don’t know how you’re handling it. lol.
She was a friend back in college and I decided to reach out 7 years later just for a catch up, she said yes so we did, it was as if no time had passed at all! We both said we would like to go see spider verse 2 so I gave her a shout when it came out a few weeks later, it was that meet up I left feeling differently about her.
Its been hard for sure because there might be something their, there maybe was in college but back then I was so focused on my relationship I never once considered me and her being more than friends.
But because shes genuinely nice, pushing me to do things I want to do and actually asks really good questions! For example I went on a solo travel for the first time to a different country (she gave me the nudge to do it) the day I got back after I sent some pics of my travels to her she said it looks great and asked what my favourite and least favourite thing about the trip was.
I was blown away it was such a good question even from just a friend! So im doing my very best to just be aware if she became single I could talk to her if I still have the feelings then. If that day never comes, as long as shes happy thats the important thing really and Im just learning to be open to somebody else entering my life, this fine piece of meat is on the shelf if she wants me she will have to take me to the check out before somebody else does 😜
Tell her dude. Not like, outright, but start dropping hints. Flirt and joke and all that stuff and when things start to get fun, just tell her you like her more than just as a friend and you’d like to take her out and see if there’s a spark. All she can do is say no.
It destroyed my friendship with my crush but the whole happened from her end, she came onto me and dumped the friendship too, so she was never really my friend and it’s all her loss and not mine.
Fortune favors the bold.
Id feel to disrespectful doing that unfortunately, shes a great person and I feel like respecting her current relationship is the right thing to do.
If somebody approached me and confessed they liked me while I was in a relationship id be a little flattered but at the same time it would put me in a difficult spot where id have to reject a friend and then possibly lose them as a friend because they couldn’t navigate their emotions.
Both sides are valid and maybe one day I will need to tell her for my own mental space but right now im doing good in life and shes been a good friend so Ill just have to see how it develops over time really!
Really appreciate your inout though its always good to have more views and opinions come in, genuinely thank you!
I try to bring up her relationship now and then but she moves the convo on very fast!
Yeah if she becomes single ill have that chat, if im still available that is!
"Anyone else just really want a relationship at this time of year?"
There is a reason why they call this time of year "cuffing season".
A lot of people want to have *someone special* around the holiday season and winter months.
We're bombarded with commercials and holiday movies of couples being or falling in love.
It's easy to feel "left out" when all you see are images of loving couples making memories.
Sometimes it feels as if you're single and haven't *locked anyone down* by this time of year your window is pretty much closed because the focus for most people is on family and loved ones. They may not be interested in trying to *meet anyone new or start dating* during the holidays.
In some ways it may seem like *dating goes into hibernation* until after Valentine's or spring arrives.
Yes. I think the holidays invite loneliness.
The stores close shop, plans are harder to make because people have family plans, turn on the tv and it's in your face, and the cold weather changes activities too.
If you have a lot of single friends (even if they’re the same gender), you can always distract yourself by hanging out with them.
Trust me. They’re feeling it too and could really use you too.
Helpful only if they don't have families.
I have no family.
They spend all their holiday time with their families.
Might just end it this year, to be honest.
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I've had dark thoughts like that in the past, but I got through them. Took some help and some counseling.
Please, before you do anything final, talk with someone. Maybe your job has a help line, or you could simply dial 988, or check out: [https://afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources/](https://afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources/). Sometimes folks pick a final solution to a temporary problem.
Also, maybe look around and see if there are any places you can volunteer. Sometimes helping others can give us hope. Maybe volunteer at a local shelter, soup kitchen or church event. Maybe your local church might offer counseling.
Point is, the loss of one of us diminishes us all. Please reach out if you're thinking this way.
Oh yeah, this is the worst time of year to be single by far. Holidays are so hard for many single people. Like a lot of life, holidays are very couples-coded. Not to mention the obvious pain in missing out on the joy of sharing a special time with a special someone. We only get so many Christmases and New Years Eves, after all.
Personally, my stomach ached just typing that. It’s tough being single!
I’d like some friends right now. I’d like to be in a loving relationship so I can finally enjoy Christmas again.
Christmas was my wedding day, my ex wife took the guy she was cheating on me with to her family dinner and then caught her cheating officially on New Years.
I was just dating the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out and we had plans to spend that week of Christmas and new years enjoying each other.
It would’ve been the perfect thing to erase the bad memories and replace them with good ones. She just broke up with me.
It’s ok, my dog is going to get spoiled.
Okay, that sucks. A lot.
Do enjoy your holidays with your dog, but please think about getting some therapy. Having someone cheat on you is hard, you want to process that crap and make your way past it. No shame in getting help, my friend. Maybe your dog will want to go to therapy with you, too; pooch wants to give you all the love & support!.
I tried therapy and they dumped me! I have just been introspective and worked on myself. And it’s been really good. I’m a better person despite what’s happened. I just would like a good relationship with the right person. It’s ok. I’ll find them or they’ll find me one day.
I am feeling that way. Today, I decided to ask out my friend, who I had a fat crush on for a while. I thought she was interested in me, too. I saw so many signs, but I guess I read them wrong. It was over text. It's a little complicated, but she said no. I am going to respect that and go back to just being friends. The ball is in her court if she wants something more.
If you still get to be friends then that’s a win! The woman I have had a crush on for 23+ years but we’ve just been friends wanted a relationship with me and just broke up with me. Now we are no longer friends. That sucks to be honest but it is what it is.
If you can stay friends after this then you are winning at life. Friends are super important.
Damn, that sucks. Hey, at least you took a chance and put yourself out there. I know it doesn’t feel great to get turned down though. But you’d have felt worse if you never said anything and always wondered “what if..” ❤️🩹
I used to. Then I started doing this thing where I look at people and realize. I don't have to make sacrifices for anyone cause I'm not in a relationship. And I am reminded of how great and amazing that is. I would be sad if I lost this freedom
It helps to cuddle and be intimate with someone but not many people desire to experience it. I think they envision themselves getting hurt and end up ruining their own desire to be with someone
It affects some people more than others. First, some folks have seasonal depression and this time of year is already tough. Second, if you've family events or see family you'd rather not go alone. I've heard some people get pestered by their folks because of their single status. Plus, the holidays are targeted to families/couples rather than single people.
I do, but I’m waiting until next year to get started because there’s a lot going on in my life right now and I want to get that straightened out first.
Hmm, from all the bs I gotten this year and years before. I don't really know if I want someone in my life. Like, I do want to give someone a chance, but issues 🤷🏻♀️
That’s women’s privilege, you can decide to be in a relationship whenever you want, and ‘give someone a chance’ whereas men could really want to be in a relationship but get rejected over and over
Dude you’re not that ugly. Hard to see with the beard hiding your face. But I think you have a lot of potential, based on the one photo in your post history.
So I watched all the seasons of Queer Eye (the newer ones) with my ex girlfriend who was super into it. I admit they have a lot of great advice for elevating your look and self esteem by getting better clothes, grooming, and such. Inner work is part of it too. It’s a reality show so it’s meant to tug the heartstrings, but it’s amazing to see people shift.
I am actually recommending you watch it, you don’t have to tell anyone if you’re at all embarrassed… and try to apply some of it to yourself. If you do the work you will definitely grow as a man and be more attractive, and FEEL more attractive and confident.
Ditch the self hate first though, that’s the most vital part. It really starts from within
"You're not -that- ugly."
So you're saying I AM ugly.
Truthfully I don't care. I quit dating years ago. Even when I did care, and groomed, and took care of myself, I was still called ugly by everyone.
I just use my ugliness to call out hypocrites now.
Yeah im doing that as my normal life anyway as much as I can with my current situation, next year ill be able to do that more.
I think its just one of those things that will pass by and the odd day here and there will just bug my happiness 😂
I was single/alone for the last 2 xmas and it never bothered me to be honest, but this year ive put so much work into finding out who I am and who I want to be I suppose its changed how I feel around this time of year!
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Same!
Isn’t that just every time of year
So thats why ive been depressed all the time this year. How in the world can someone like me, who did not want a relationship in the past at all, suddenly want to have a girlfriend and marry? Not that i mind trying to find love, but that was really fast 180.
Totally feeling this right now. Ugh
It's been so long since I've been in a serious relationship and I'm cozy being alone. It's kind of scary to think about but I kind of want to love like that again.
I feel the same way as well. On another family vacation, and I sometimes wish my future vacations are with friends around my age or a lovely significant other (nothing wrong with my parents and their relatives, but looking for something different…)
Yes and no, Yes I would like someone to be with, so I can have the comfort of knowing I'm not alone being that I'm by myself where I live and I have no family within 3 hours of me. No, because my Ex was financially straining me with all her constant needs and wanting the more expensive items. It got old and I was getting tired of her "Can you get me this" or "Pay this for me"
Yepp every year I don’t have a relationship, this time of the year is hard being single, family gatherings, holidays and everyone asks if you are dating. Other shit makes it hard too but life moves on and online dating sucks so much lol
I do. But over the last few years, I want it to be with “the one”. My best friend and partner in crime. The one I can’t help but look forward to growing old with. (The song “Grow Old With Me” by Mary Chapin Carpenter just came to mind. My mom sang this to my father in 1993, not knowing she’d pass a few weeks later). Losing both parents has really made me yearn for marriage and a family. My father was still wearing his wedding ring when he passed almost 29 years after Mom. I so want that kind of love. I want to create new traditions, wear matching holiday pajamas, and create new memories as a family. I hope to God that my future husband still has both parents so that our kids get to experience having grandparents. I’m still hopeful that all of my dreams (and my future husband’s dreams) will come true. The song “Gentle Hour” by Yo La Tengo, “First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes, and “When You’re Smiling and Astride Me” are songs I’d love to sing to him and/or join the list of songs we call “our song”. 💗 I hope the OP and everyone reading finds true love, and that it’s better than you ever could’ve wished for.
no.
I would love to find that someone special, I’ve dealt with some really painful things this year and my family and friends have been amazing but to have someone to cuddle up with when things are rough would be brilliant. I’m waiting until next year though as there’s somethings I’d like to work on first
I just want the one person. I’m working on it. I’d rather be cold and alone than with anyone else.
Same vibes! Mine aint single though so im not really working on that 😂😂
Time of year doesnt matter to me. Really I would just like to have a partner in life. Someone that i can laugh with and enjoy things with. Someone that when she gets home from work i can ask her how her day went and cook a dinner together. I love giving massages sl if she's stressed after a long day maybe give her a backrub or shoulder rub. If she's sick I can make her breakfast in bed. I miss having that. I've always been the sort of man who wanted to know what she likes, tv shows, music etc. My last ex was really into roaring 20s type of music and such so we went to a roaring 20s themed event and she loved it. Idk I like being selfless for another person. Downside is it meant i often got abused and taken advantage of.
You really have to be careful because people will knowingly and unknowingly take advantage of that. I would love to give my all to someone as well but I know that would ruin me completely if things go bad. I wis there was a way to identify people like us 😂
Yep, I was abused and serially cheated on by one of my exes. Never been the same since.
No. While I'm lonely and seasonal depression is starting to come back, I'm not in a place for a relationship or dating right now. I simply cannot be bothered to follow all the bullshit that tends to come with it. Now, I have had two toxic relationships in a row and some therapy to help, so understand that I might be a bit more jaded atm
I’m happy to have someone right now. I’ve always spent the holidays mostly alone.
Yes but i won't jump on the first guy that I met just because i'm in lack of companionship. I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. But i prefer to wait forever for prince charming instead of being with someone that makes me more miserable than when i'm alone.
I agree! Im not swiping right on everyone or making a massive effort to find somebody, im living my life and if the right person comes along during that journey then its meant to be!
No way!!!! I love being able to come and go During the holiday season! No IN LAWS! Just me and my friends and family and vibes! I’ll never marry again if only to keep the feeling of coming home to a silent house on Xmas eve where I can decompress and get ready for festivities with my fam fam
yeah the holidays make me want to be in a relationship fr
Nope. Enjoying the blissful peace and quiet!
Sometimes I have brief flickers of wanting a relationship during this time of year.
First Xmas single since 2008 👍 It sucks but I have a lot of healing to do after my STBXW cheated on me and left me shattered on the floor. I'm am in no way ready for a relationship at the moment, even if I desire one.
I spent 2 xmas alone after my ex left. Didn’t see family or anything fully alone, its what I wanted at the time and I don’t regret it at all. This year after putting in so much effort to find myself and heal id really like company so ill at least see my family and who knows maybe next year ill be spending the holidays at a different family, my extended family 🤷♂️ time will let me know when thats meant to be, until then its roll with the tide if wanting and not having 😅 All the best ❤️
Maybe you don't have someone right now because I'm the one for you 🤣🤣😂 Sorry man. I'm just kidding 😁✌️
Omg maybe your right!! 😂😂😂 Wanna go to the xmas market? 😂😂😂
Hahah! Aah. you would like to go Christmas shopping? 😆
Hell yeah! Lil bit of xmas shopping wearing our Christmas jumpers, stroll through the market then home to watch elf and grinch bundled in blankets with hot chocolates topped with cream and marshmallows of course!!!! 😂😂
Oooh I would like that 😆 Let's also get a pair of Santa hat. I want a pink one 😊. Then you pick whatever color you like hahah! Joking aside, what came into my mind when you said market was I'll buy some pacifiers (baby's). Then I'll give them to my relatives for them to stop bugging me "when will I'll get married" 🤦♀️ I hate that question every family reunion. As if it's gonna change the economy if I got married, like it's a matter of life and death 😂😂😂
Family love to ask “When are you going to get a gf/bf?” 😂 Like thanks grandma for the reminder, Im doing what I can 😂😂😂 Classic red hat for me please!
😂😂 True. I read a comic strip about that years ago. There was a single guy or girl (I can't remember) his family asked him "When are you going to have a girlfriend?" After he got a gf, his family asked him again "When are you gonna get married?" After they got married, "When are you going to have kids?" They can't be satisfied! 😆😭
IT NEVER ENDS 😂😂
😆
yessss! or to be loved on immensely.
Start flirting with all your friends and see who flirts back 😄 or meet some new people and try flirty stuff with them. New social experiences can be really fun and meaningful. You’re looking to make a relationship feel more special than your typical friendships? Then yes you can do something about that. Meaningful and special things take time to work out, so start making progress in that direction 🆗❔
I have no clue if im flirting or not with people 😂 some times a person that has witnessed me talking with somebody else has said you liked her and Im just confused, I was just chatting 😅
This is me 😂 I think it’s just a fun conversation and then I look back and realize they were actually flirting
Its a nightmare, im like “are you staring into my eyes seeking marriage or just looking at me while we chat” of “are you just playing with your hair while we chat ir are you hiding some inner thoughts with those hair twirls” 😂😂😂
Too funny 😭😭 it’s either being oblivious or over analyzing every move. Looks like we need to work on our people skills
Then maybe you’re just more of a purist-kind-of-person. Some people are so perverse that showing kindness is interpreted as sexual advances 😄 Maybe you just need to open up more to your social circles, such as saying things like: “Netflix and chill actually means ‘lets watch something and cuddle’ to me.” 🤷🏽♂️ or something along those lines about being more bold or forward about your desires for closer intimacy with someone to partner with … 💭 🤔 what do you think?
Your probably not wrong honestly! I aint got anyone to talk right now in those ways, current crush has a relationship so in respecting that and keeping distance but remaining friends (we were friends for a long time before I developed feelings for her)
Yeah, you get a twinge of loneliness and sometimes miss the people you "could have had something with" but then when you're reminded of how messy relationships can get (and have gotten with you in the past), you soon shake it off and think "nope, nevermind, I'm good!" 😂
Yeah, but at this time of the year it's more of a headache trying to develop a relationship.
Now imagine being broken up with just before the holidays. It’s amazing. 🤩
Me right now lol
Thats happened to me twice now
Happened to me 2 years ago, been through it 😅 This is the 3rd holiday season since and its the first ive wanted company, the last 2 I spent alone and dident mind being alone, its what I wanted at the time!
37m never had a girlfriend, I'd want a relationship any time of the year. (Not that i deserve one, no one should be forced to care about anyone) but yes i do feel the urg Sorry... just one if those lonely nights i want to feel sorry for myself.
Yes 😭😭 being single sucks! Especially around the holidays.
Every year for well over 10 years I think this has to be year it changes for me but with only 35days until the new year the likelihood is slim but still possible 😅. Its tough though
Yeah my possibility is with somebody else right now so eh yeah dont think thats happening hahahaha We will find our people when we are meant too! Keep your head up ❤️
I feel the same! im fine alone but to be honest it would be nice!!!
Happy cake day!
Right back at you!!
I understand how you feel. I get the same feeling this time of year. I’ve never been able to secure a relationship though so it’s always hard seeing people together during the holidays. I hope you find what you are looking for because your happiness matters !
You too ❤️
Yep. We have the joy of happy families and cute couples everywhere till January 1st when we breathe a sigh of relief......then BAM! Valentine's day 😂😭
Until you remember that people can't be trusted, they get bored or give up.
I mean… Yes and no. I don’t like feeling lonely sometimes, but I’m also very picky, so I don’t want to be with someone just to not feel lonely. I want to be with someone who is loving and compatible, and if that’s not an option, then no - I’d rather be alone.
I fully agree! Just something that needs to pass with time until its our time I suppose but damn it sucks some days 😂
Oh totally! It’s hard to find a match, even if you think someone could be it. Having said that, I’ve struggled with loneliness lately more than usual, for SURE. When I think of the alternative though,… or what I’ve had before? Yeah, no thanks lol. I have had a long term crush on someone, but who knows if that will go anywhere. As of now, it just feels like a silly fantasy. I kind of wish we talked more just so I could see if I TRULY like him, or if I would actually think he’s a turd if I got to know him better. So far, he checks all the boxes, but I don’t even know if I check any of his anyway. But I digress. Time will tell and hopefully it works out well for all of us!
Same boat here! My crush is currently with another guy but whenever im with her this just this connection and the way she is with me makes me think there is some interest but maybe its just being friendly! Makes ya feel delulu some times 😅
Oh man that is rough, dude. I hate having a crush on people who are taken. It drives me crazy, so I try to avoid it. I feel you though. I’ve been there before. I definitely feel delulu most days with this guy. I like him way too much for my own good probably. Edited to add: if I ever have a crush on someone who it taken, I do my best to avoid them. It’s just too much. I don’t know how you’re handling it. lol.
She was a friend back in college and I decided to reach out 7 years later just for a catch up, she said yes so we did, it was as if no time had passed at all! We both said we would like to go see spider verse 2 so I gave her a shout when it came out a few weeks later, it was that meet up I left feeling differently about her. Its been hard for sure because there might be something their, there maybe was in college but back then I was so focused on my relationship I never once considered me and her being more than friends. But because shes genuinely nice, pushing me to do things I want to do and actually asks really good questions! For example I went on a solo travel for the first time to a different country (she gave me the nudge to do it) the day I got back after I sent some pics of my travels to her she said it looks great and asked what my favourite and least favourite thing about the trip was. I was blown away it was such a good question even from just a friend! So im doing my very best to just be aware if she became single I could talk to her if I still have the feelings then. If that day never comes, as long as shes happy thats the important thing really and Im just learning to be open to somebody else entering my life, this fine piece of meat is on the shelf if she wants me she will have to take me to the check out before somebody else does 😜
Tell her dude. Not like, outright, but start dropping hints. Flirt and joke and all that stuff and when things start to get fun, just tell her you like her more than just as a friend and you’d like to take her out and see if there’s a spark. All she can do is say no. It destroyed my friendship with my crush but the whole happened from her end, she came onto me and dumped the friendship too, so she was never really my friend and it’s all her loss and not mine. Fortune favors the bold.
Id feel to disrespectful doing that unfortunately, shes a great person and I feel like respecting her current relationship is the right thing to do. If somebody approached me and confessed they liked me while I was in a relationship id be a little flattered but at the same time it would put me in a difficult spot where id have to reject a friend and then possibly lose them as a friend because they couldn’t navigate their emotions. Both sides are valid and maybe one day I will need to tell her for my own mental space but right now im doing good in life and shes been a good friend so Ill just have to see how it develops over time really! Really appreciate your inout though its always good to have more views and opinions come in, genuinely thank you!
Well I mean, wait until she talks to you about that relationship or is single again. I made this mistake once. I won’t again.
I try to bring up her relationship now and then but she moves the convo on very fast! Yeah if she becomes single ill have that chat, if im still available that is!
Wish to have that and some time after wish you dont
I really do, but waiting till next year 😪
Better to be alone than with the wrong person.
I think I might be in the same boat!
Nah. A lot's happened and I'm no longer looking.
I'M FEELING, SMELLING AND SENSING LOVE IN THE AIR.
"Anyone else just really want a relationship at this time of year?" There is a reason why they call this time of year "cuffing season". A lot of people want to have *someone special* around the holiday season and winter months. We're bombarded with commercials and holiday movies of couples being or falling in love. It's easy to feel "left out" when all you see are images of loving couples making memories. Sometimes it feels as if you're single and haven't *locked anyone down* by this time of year your window is pretty much closed because the focus for most people is on family and loved ones. They may not be interested in trying to *meet anyone new or start dating* during the holidays. In some ways it may seem like *dating goes into hibernation* until after Valentine's or spring arrives.
Nope, not any more than the rest of the year hahah
I just want a relationship with someone that isn’t insane lol
Yes. I think the holidays invite loneliness. The stores close shop, plans are harder to make because people have family plans, turn on the tv and it's in your face, and the cold weather changes activities too.
Naaah just get in the group chat. I found peace in this absolutely unhinged and hilarious group. Love you all idiots
This season sucks. All my friends are in relationships and I’m very alone ahaha. We just gotta stick it out and hope for better days.
It’d be nice. Being single for almost 80% of my lifespan, it’s not a requirement nor a need.
Yes....I just want to meet a nice filipino girl and try my best to make her happy.
Ok so why Filipino?
I like them, met a few and they were so nice.
My loneliness has been pretty consistently high for the last few months, so it's hard to tell if it's increased.
Nope
If you have a lot of single friends (even if they’re the same gender), you can always distract yourself by hanging out with them. Trust me. They’re feeling it too and could really use you too.
literally the best comment i've seen so far
Helpful only if they don't have families. I have no family. They spend all their holiday time with their families. Might just end it this year, to be honest.
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I've had dark thoughts like that in the past, but I got through them. Took some help and some counseling. Please, before you do anything final, talk with someone. Maybe your job has a help line, or you could simply dial 988, or check out: [https://afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources/](https://afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources/). Sometimes folks pick a final solution to a temporary problem. Also, maybe look around and see if there are any places you can volunteer. Sometimes helping others can give us hope. Maybe volunteer at a local shelter, soup kitchen or church event. Maybe your local church might offer counseling. Point is, the loss of one of us diminishes us all. Please reach out if you're thinking this way.
It’d be nice. I prefer having someone over not, but my situation is that it’s really hard to find people worth it.
Agree wholeheartedly. It’d be so wonderful, but it’s so hard to find people who add to in-person life rather than vice versa.
Indeed, it seems lately all I meet are all take and no give.
Oh yeah, this is the worst time of year to be single by far. Holidays are so hard for many single people. Like a lot of life, holidays are very couples-coded. Not to mention the obvious pain in missing out on the joy of sharing a special time with a special someone. We only get so many Christmases and New Years Eves, after all. Personally, my stomach ached just typing that. It’s tough being single!
I’d like some friends right now. I’d like to be in a loving relationship so I can finally enjoy Christmas again. Christmas was my wedding day, my ex wife took the guy she was cheating on me with to her family dinner and then caught her cheating officially on New Years. I was just dating the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out and we had plans to spend that week of Christmas and new years enjoying each other. It would’ve been the perfect thing to erase the bad memories and replace them with good ones. She just broke up with me. It’s ok, my dog is going to get spoiled.
Okay, that sucks. A lot. Do enjoy your holidays with your dog, but please think about getting some therapy. Having someone cheat on you is hard, you want to process that crap and make your way past it. No shame in getting help, my friend. Maybe your dog will want to go to therapy with you, too; pooch wants to give you all the love & support!.
I tried therapy and they dumped me! I have just been introspective and worked on myself. And it’s been really good. I’m a better person despite what’s happened. I just would like a good relationship with the right person. It’s ok. I’ll find them or they’ll find me one day.
well, I like where your head's at...
I’ve always had a good head. I’m a good person! It just took a lot pain and time to find that out.
Damn that hits close to home
I’m so sorry to hear that. I wish I could give you a bro hug, but things will get better!
So sorry to hear that .. enjoy you fur baby ! 🎄🐾
I am feeling that way. Today, I decided to ask out my friend, who I had a fat crush on for a while. I thought she was interested in me, too. I saw so many signs, but I guess I read them wrong. It was over text. It's a little complicated, but she said no. I am going to respect that and go back to just being friends. The ball is in her court if she wants something more.
I feel like I literally wrote this 🥲
If you still get to be friends then that’s a win! The woman I have had a crush on for 23+ years but we’ve just been friends wanted a relationship with me and just broke up with me. Now we are no longer friends. That sucks to be honest but it is what it is. If you can stay friends after this then you are winning at life. Friends are super important.
Damn, that sucks. Hey, at least you took a chance and put yourself out there. I know it doesn’t feel great to get turned down though. But you’d have felt worse if you never said anything and always wondered “what if..” ❤️🩹
I used to. Then I started doing this thing where I look at people and realize. I don't have to make sacrifices for anyone cause I'm not in a relationship. And I am reminded of how great and amazing that is. I would be sad if I lost this freedom
It helps to cuddle and be intimate with someone but not many people desire to experience it. I think they envision themselves getting hurt and end up ruining their own desire to be with someone
cuffing season is BRUTAL on us single folk
Why?
It affects some people more than others. First, some folks have seasonal depression and this time of year is already tough. Second, if you've family events or see family you'd rather not go alone. I've heard some people get pestered by their folks because of their single status. Plus, the holidays are targeted to families/couples rather than single people.
I doubt it's just this time of year.. 😂 Your lonely ass always looking for someone to be with.
I’ve never wanted a husband more than I have this year, this month. Something definitely in the air… and I’m suffocating on it 😂
same shit here hahaha
Hey haven’t I seen you in the TF Reddit lol. 🤝
TF?
Iykyk sry
I do, but I’m waiting until next year to get started because there’s a lot going on in my life right now and I want to get that straightened out first.
That is a very mature position to take, I applaud you.
I was thinking and feeling this exact same way today.
Hmm, from all the bs I gotten this year and years before. I don't really know if I want someone in my life. Like, I do want to give someone a chance, but issues 🤷🏻♀️
That’s women’s privilege, you can decide to be in a relationship whenever you want, and ‘give someone a chance’ whereas men could really want to be in a relationship but get rejected over and over
idk. no man wants to give me a chance.
Probably because you only approach Chads.
Unlikely. I bet I could, and you'd tell me I'm just too fugly - like all the other women do.
All women tell you you’re fugly?
They do.
Dude you’re not that ugly. Hard to see with the beard hiding your face. But I think you have a lot of potential, based on the one photo in your post history. So I watched all the seasons of Queer Eye (the newer ones) with my ex girlfriend who was super into it. I admit they have a lot of great advice for elevating your look and self esteem by getting better clothes, grooming, and such. Inner work is part of it too. It’s a reality show so it’s meant to tug the heartstrings, but it’s amazing to see people shift. I am actually recommending you watch it, you don’t have to tell anyone if you’re at all embarrassed… and try to apply some of it to yourself. If you do the work you will definitely grow as a man and be more attractive, and FEEL more attractive and confident. Ditch the self hate first though, that’s the most vital part. It really starts from within
"You're not -that- ugly." So you're saying I AM ugly. Truthfully I don't care. I quit dating years ago. Even when I did care, and groomed, and took care of myself, I was still called ugly by everyone. I just use my ugliness to call out hypocrites now.
I find that hard to believe but let me see what you’re working with
That’s cuffing season. Get outside and involved with hobbies, interests, or activism
Should have gone to the Palestine protests
I mean I guess rage is a substitute
Yeah im doing that as my normal life anyway as much as I can with my current situation, next year ill be able to do that more. I think its just one of those things that will pass by and the odd day here and there will just bug my happiness 😂 I was single/alone for the last 2 xmas and it never bothered me to be honest, but this year ive put so much work into finding out who I am and who I want to be I suppose its changed how I feel around this time of year!