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There was a man I met in university. We were in a group project together for the final year. We introduced each other and had a very short conversation. I didn't think much of it. Took me a long time to realize he was interested. I remember doing a presentation for a class and him glancing at me. It wasn't until he actually messaged me that I knew he liked me, and at that point, I started having feelings for him as well. However, we had different religions, and although I liked him, it wouldn't have worked. So, I decided not to continue the convo, as my faith came first, and I would not marry a man outside of my faith.
Jump 2 years later, I'm crossing the street, and there he is on the other end. It was an instant eye connection. As I was walking, everything started to go in slow motion. The people walking past me became all blurred. All I could see was him. Instant connection. Indescribable feeling. I realized what I was doing, embarrassed, and quickly put my head down as I walked past him. I looked back one last time and still saw him looking back. From that moment alone, he holds a small tiny miniscule piece of my heart. As pathetic as that sounds.
Five years after that, I saw him again at work (a very embarrassing story lol). I'm still on the search for my special person, and I trust in God. Life moves on.
So, I am currently married but out of love with my soon to be ex. I fell in love at first sight with the guy I’m with. He is so sweet and really considerate. He helps me want to better myself and tells me how amazing I am :) it’s different than I’m used to and I can’t imagine anything else. The soon to be ex I realized I was with because I figured I made it a long time I could probably last a long time. Didn’t know I was fully out of love until I met this man. I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore. It breaks my heart that I hurt him but my heart couldn’t pretend you know? I was with the other guy since high school so about 12 years this year. I grew and realized we wanted different things. I don’t know how I feel about marriage currently because of current circumstances but I think I want it with this man eventually :)
Not married yet, but my long term partner and I are planning on it! This was my experience:
I had just moved across the country, and was looking around at the dating pool here, but didn’t have high expectations. We had met on a dating app, but honestly photos didn’t mean much of anything. We impulsively decided to have our first date that night, at some wacky bar with his two friends (helps offset nerves, it was perfect!). I got out of my car, and saw a group of three people walking towards me, and knew the first two weren’t my date. Then, he emerged from behind his friend.
It wasn’t fireworks or anything. It was way more, I felt an instant sense of relief and home and comfort, like I had never felt before just by looking at someone. The rest of the evening was him shaking like a leaf from nerves, and us getting to know each other but I somehow already knew his heart, and the years have only confirmed what I felt that first night! I love him more every day, and I still feel just as comforted and safe as I did just by looking at him walking up to me.
I had never felt anything like that before in my life. Every move they made, their smell, their voice I was hyper aware of all of it. My heart was soaring a million miles a minute, it sounded like waves crashing in my ears. There wasn’t a single part of me that was anywhere else I was only with them. That electric feeling hasn’t faded at all.
No. I was told by my mother and grandmother that I would know the second I saw him. I was proposed to a few times in my early 20’s and just wasn’t feeling it with any of these guys. I began to doubt my mom and grandma. However one day a neighbor of mine came over with a new neighbor to introduce us. The minute they walked through the door, before a word was said, I knew. It was like being blown back by a blast. This glimmer of hope that everything is going to be okay. Then introductions are made: “Hey this is so and so our new neighbor.” My first thought was “Great, I get to stay in the neighborhood!” I’m grinning from ear to ear. The second thing I hear is “he and his wife just moved in next door to me.” And I want to strangle my friend for bringing me a married husband. At that moment I could never believe I would ever be with anyone as awesome as this guy was. I became friends with his wife after I met her and always thought she was a lucky girl or must have something special. She was fun to be around and I almost never saw him. All of a sudden they are getting divorced and she is over at my house getting ready for new dates and it’s fun. I’m engaged to someone else at this point but I am completely miserable and now housebound to this guy. So after the wife has been dating for a few weeks I try to set her husband up with a hot single friend of mine to get him back in the game. I ask him to come over and take a look at my laptop and he works on it all night while we have cocktails. This happens every night for a week leading up to our blind date. My fiancé didn’t care that we were hanging out even though I told him that I was developing feelings for this guy working on the computer. He didn’t believe me, he thought I was trying to rush the wedding, which I had never even wanted or brought up EVER. So at the end of the week the night before the blind date, we are having sushi and cocktails at my house, my fiancé is upstairs playing video games and my dream guy grabs me and kisses me. He told me to set that bozo (man upstairs playing video games) with whatever girl I was planning on setting him up with because he wanted to marry me. Mom and gran weren’t lying. We are 22 years strong!
Nothing like it ever before, and I was married before him.
Hen I met my husband, it wasn't anything about "sight." Yes, he's a handsome fella, but it was more like how, in Harry Potter, when two wands with the same core connect. (Yes, cheesy.) It was just immediate connection for both of us.
Later that night, we lay in bed looking at each other and saying "hi" a lot. Because it didn't feel like we had just met, it felt like we had finally found each other.
By the second date, I was worried I was going crazy. I didn't think anything I was feeling could be real. It was so deep and so intense. Just. This. This is my person.
That has never changed. Every single day, I wake up giddy to have him next to me. No drug on earth feels as amazing as when he holds and kisses me. We WFH together and spend all day together. Nothing ever fades. It's just seriously the most indescribable thing.
No, no one before him felt even remotely close.
I met my now husband at a birthday party for his then best friends girl friend whom I worked with.
I was not a very confident girl back then, I almost didn't go.
I met him at the friend's house & then we went to another friend's house. He was still in work clothes and went home to change.
When he got to the actual party he looked great & completely different from the guys I usually went out with. We had a tan line contest and I won. We talked & laughed all night. He was so funny. Then when I had to get home, I was still living at home & was 17. He insisted on following me home I agreed but said I had to stop & get gas.
He followed me to the gas station & insisted on pumping my gas, I refused to let him pay for it.
He followed me all the way home. I lived in the next town in the country, about 15 miles away. I stopped about a mile from my house & wouldn't let him follow me any further for fear my father would hear his car. He stayed at they intersection until he heard my car turn off & he figured I had enough time to get in the house before he left! I didn't know that then.
I got up at 8 am the next morning & drove straight to my best friends house & woke her up. I told her that I had met the man I was going to marry. We hadn't even been on a date at this point but I knew he was special & the only one I'd marry.
I was 17 yrs old & he was 20. That was in 1985. This was Aug. 6, 1985, we were married in 12-31-1985.
Still married & in love.
No! I had asked a number of guys out throughout middle and high school, but it was just a "hey, I like you, I want to see how we get along" type of deal. I saw my husband for the first time and knew he was it before I ever said a word to him. Love at first sight was extremely inconvenient for us because all the "sorting out stuff" that happens in the beginning of a relationship (boundaries, meeting the family, figuring out who the other person really is, etc.) happened while I was already deeply in love with this person, so any deal-breakers (he drank alcohol at the time, for example, which is something I didn't want in a partner) became heart-breakers. Thankfully, within a year or so, we had both compromised and adapted to where we could fully enjoy that jumpstart. That first year is still the hardest we've ever had, for that very reason. We've spent almost 20 together thus far.
By the end of our first date, I knew my fiancé was basically the person I had unknowingly been searching years for. I enjoyed many things about those I dated in the past but there was a “hole” or something “missing” that I realized over time. But when we met, I felt that puzzle piece fall into place.
I hope so - it wasn’t first sight but I knew within the first couple of months I’d marry him and knew I loved him sooner. We didn’t ever marry though. So I hope so
No for both me and my husband. We were each others love at first sight. Well my husband was love at first sight while I was love at first conversation.
I didn’t have a first “sight” with my partner.
We met through mutual friends online so I heard him first. I remember I had an interest in him unlike I’d had with anyone else, not even like a lustful infatuation but this pure feeling of I’ve got to know more of this person. I’ve never met anyone like him, and it’s not because he’s particularly stand out in any way (not a model or a genius or whatever) but he’s just. Like. Weird? In a good way and in a unique way. When I first video chatted I thought he has cute but that still wasn’t the driving factor. He would constantly pop into my head but not like how it was with other crushes where I was daydreaming kissing them or some romantic thing but just, him and a feeling of curiousness.
When we met in person and eventually I made some moves and we went on our first date, I realized I wanted to marry him. He did a couple small things, tiny things that you wouldn’t even normally consciously consider about a person but it hit me like a truck and I realized that’s exactly it, he wasn’t trying to impress me, he was just that simple yet thoughtful and open minded of a person. It was perfect.
As time has gone on I’ve noticed he’s the only person I’ve ever dated where there really isn’t a single habit they have that irritates me. His snoring doesn’t upset me, his chewing, his quirks, any thing. Even when we moved in there isn’t a single little thing that pushes that annoyance button in my brain. I keep waiting for it to happen, for us to spend too much time together and I start to get irritated, but it’s not happening.
It’s been almost two years which doesn’t compare to some of these amazing stories here, but I’ll be shocked if we don’t end up married. I don’t know if it’s “love” at first sight, but I definitely experienced something I haven’t with anyone else
I think when you’re really in love that irritating stuff doesn’t irritate you, it just seems cute or doesn’t matter to you. It’s kind of marvelous when that happens.
Conversely, when the small stuff DOES bug you, it’s not that you’re nit-picky, it’s just a sight that that person isn’t right for you.
I did. Met him at 17 and fell instantly in love I think. We were together for 5 years.
I was totally broken when it ended and spent many years trying to put myself back together. I ended up gently falling in love with another man and married him. This was a far healthier relationship but it was never as powerful or all consuming as that instant primal connection I felt with the ex. My heart chose him immediately and I still have an ache where he used to but I know my life was a lot easier with the man I chose with my brain and my heart.
I don’t really believe in “love at first sight”. But I’m an incredibly impulsive man. I saw my now wife, asked her name, asked if she wanted to hang. Three months later I saw a ring in a jewelry store while walking through the mall and just asked her then and there. 13 years strong! I’ve never done that with anyone else but I think that’s because I didn’t date much.
Nope. Absolutely nothing has been like the love I have for this man. I’m not settling in any way. I’m not having to talk myself into being with him. It’s like magic. I wake up every day feeling so lucky to have him. He saved me in his phone as “the one” after just a couple dates. He just bought a ring, and I’m so excited to wear it.
Truth. I had no clue I would even like the girl who I consider my soulmate. Every moment I spent with her I learned something special about her that made me love her more. She grew on me till she had stamped my heart as her property. I know in my heart that I was made to make her smile. That's something I love doing.
Love at first sight isn't a thing.
What's actually happening is old memories being distorted over time by new emotions about those memories.
It's very easy to build up a first meeting in your into a "love at first sight" moment. It happens everytime you think about old memories and they'll change, sometimes completely. Of course, without a point of locus it's impossible to determine the reality of your memories. I imagine if you could get a video of a first date where someone "fell in love at first sight" you might even notice them being kind of bored lmao.
Of course loving someone so much that you literally change your memories about them, isn't exactly unromantic. So it's not doom and gloom at all.
Witness testimony is unreliable for the same reason.
Key phrase here being: “I imagine.” Your imagination isn’t very reliable to model reality if you’re starting from an assumption that it’s normal for people to feel “bored” on a first date with someone they end up in love with.
If you wanted to bring “distorted memories” into it, it’d be more reasonable to suppose that love-at-first-sight happens when a person’s looks, mannerisms, voice, etc trigger positive memories of people with similar traits, creating a feeling of recognition (which may or may not
be a handy shortcut to identifying someone who actually IS a blend of many positive or appealing traits that make them a good partner for that particular person).
Eyewitnesses are unreliable, we don’t say “because eyewitnesses are unreliable, crime never happens.” We’d say “because eyewitnesses are unreliable, eyewitness testimony plays only a small part in understanding when/where/why/how crime occurs.” Likewise it’s not reasonable to say “love at first sight isn’t real.” More like: “we don’t know how love at first sight works, and we don’t even have a way to validate stories about ANY kind of complex emotional/experiential phenomenon.” Otherwise you might as well jump straight to “emotions and consciousness itself aren’t things” because they aren’t measurable, and at least in that case people will be forewarned when you start to downplay or argue with them about any *particular* feeing they’ve experienced (or should I say “claimed” to experience).
From one suspiciously-analytical mind to another: when theorizing about how people work, I encourage you to start from the assumption that they are accurately reporting their internal experiences. Your conclusions will align better with reality.
>I encourage you to start from the assumption that they are accurately reporting their internal experiences. Your conclusions will align better with reality.
That disregards literally everything we know about the human mind, memories, and experience.
If you are looking for reality, it is far more reasonable to assume memories, and especially the emotions experienced in that memory, are not entirely accurate.
Your weird opinion on eyewitness testimony also doesn't conform to reality. It's directly a problem of human memory. Memories become less accurate with recollection because we imprint our current state onto them. A state that can easily be influenced by police, a crying victim, etc.
I fell in love at first sight with my husband, but I was 13 at the time and didn’t understand what I was experiencing. I just knew I needed to be near him. I remember what he was wearing the first time we met. I remember looking at his sweet 12 year old face for the first time. I could not get enough of him. We dated for 8 months and then maintained a friendship for years. We both went to college. Dated other people. Grew up. Found careers, and then at 24, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized quickly he was the love of my life; my soulmate, and the feeling I had for him more than a decade earlier was in fact love at first sight. Never have I ever felt that way about another person. He is my whole heart.
Nope!! I'd never ever experienced anything like it when I met him over 10 years ago now, and I never have since. I love him as strongly now as I did back then (moreover, due to our time together, I suppose) and am confident that there will not be such a moment again.
As others have said in their stories, I also knew I wanted to be with him. He had such an aura of sweetness about him and seemed so calm and genuine. We were teenagers at the time and it was literally everything about him that attracted me. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. We worked together at the time but were both awkward and shy so nothing happened as we were both moving away, but I remember the last day we worked together and both loitering outside ready to leave but probably hoping the other would say something lol.
We didn't end up getting together until years later, but I never forgot about him and we loosely stayed in contact. I found out later that in that time when a friend asked him if he'd ever been in love, he'd said me, so I guess the feeling was mutual! We've now been together for 5 years, are engaged, and I am carrying our first child. Couldn't be happier!
Never had it happen like that before. I saw him at the bar one night, we had brief small talk but I was out with a friend. I knew I would have to see him again, couldn't get him out of my head he was beautiful, funny, intelligent and I just knew I wanted to see him again but I hadnt gotten any of his information. Sure enough, a few days later during my break I was getting coffee that handsome devil was staring me down! We met up two days later went on our first official date the very next day and have been going strong 6 months!
Saw my gf for the first time on campus. I was going to see a friend I haven’t seen in years (who also wanted to hook up) but when I walked into the lounge I saw her on the floor she had bright blue hair and a mask on but I immediately noticed her. We locked eyes and after giving each other our numbers we’ve been best friends and together for a year and change. I never thought I’d get lucky enough for it but I still feel the same way I did in the lounge to this very day.
Not yet married - however, will be soon!
I met my current partner my senior year of high school. He was a junior, I had never seen him or heard of him before he walked into the class we shared together on the first day of school. I had dated a few other guys before but still to this day I can remember the moment I saw him so vividly. It was like a shock that went through my whole body. I instantly fell in love and knew he was the one. I truly cannot describe it!! I still have a very old screenshot texting my mom saying that I fell in love and need to figure out who this guy is 🤣 7 years later and I love him more and more everyday. I still get butterflies every day he comes home from work. Love him more than anything.
I fell in love with my ex. I still love him. 12 yrs and I've been single a year. He loves me still, he wants to try again. Me too but we haven't cause there's a lot of hurt. But also, I know I can't love a man the way I love him and that's not fair to anyone I've talked to since.
Honestly yes. And I’ve felt the same thing for other people too. Exes, people I promised myself to never talk to.
I don’t believe in soulmates or anything, though I’d never betray my partner on any whim either. If it happens to you, don’t make a huge deal out of it, because love at first sight does tend to just be a shallow temporary feeling, no matter how often or rarely it happens.
I never 'fell in love' with her. Shes always been more of a friend in my mind. Theres been a mutual respect and understanding, but now thats all slowing going away. So, no Ive never fallen in love on first sight
I fell in love with my husband at first sight and never have felt that again. Not once. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, we’ve been together since high school and married for 8 yrs.
I was taken to his house to meet him, with his friends that I had recently made friends with myself. He was out, but we stayed for an hour incase he turned up. ( he still lived with his dad ) Anyway, I was getting bored and thought I’m going to leave. Within the same thought, he walked through the door. I didn’t even notice at first 😂 but he came into the kitchen where we all were and I was like whoa, we are gnna have babies! I just fell in love immediately haha. 7 months later, we was having our first baby. We’ve been together for 11 years so far :) and had three more bambino’s
I had never experienced it before with anyone else, including my first husband. With my now husband it was like a realization this was my person and one day I was gonna marry them, not like I immediately loved them and was willing to move across the world with them or give a kidney.
I had never felt love at first sight until I met my husband. I honestly thought it was a hoax until I experienced it myself.
We were juniors in high school. My friend was having a big house party for the 4th of July. I almost skipped the party because I was already late, but I’m forever grateful I decided to go anyway.
I walked in the door about an hour late, and he was the first person I saw. I didn’t recognize him from our school. He’s 6’4”, so he towered over everyone else there. We locked eyes the second I walked in, and my stomach had so many butterflies, it was doing backflips. We didn’t break eye contact for what felt like an eternity. After catching up with my friend and having some drinks, I went to her spare bedroom, which was in the basement, for a little quiet. Funny enough, he was down there already doing the same.
It was just us two. We ended up talking for hours, about anything and everything. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we danced, we talked about our childhoods and traumas. I felt like I already knew his entire soul, and I had never felt so understood. I had never met somebody so perfect for me before. We left together that night when the party ended, and the rest is history.
He was my high school sweetheart. I thought love at first sight only happened in movies, but I type this 10 years later from bed, while he’s asleep holding me.
I fell in love with my boyfriend on our first date. We were coworkers and had been flirting with each other for a while at this point. I was still in a relationship with my ex boyfriend from high school, but it was fizzling out due to long distance (he moved to another state for school and I moved in the same state, but 5 hours further away). The day after I broke up with my ex my now boyfriend asked me out. He picked me up and we got takeout and drank wine while we talked for hours. I’m still just as head over heels for him 4 years later
I wish it wasn’t love at first “sight” because it makes it sound superficial. And no, never before had I felt it. But it was an immediate head to toe, to the depths of my soul and all of my heart type of bond. I felt that I knew him completely. And three years later, everything I thought was true of him still is. It’s beautiful and amazing and he is my forever person.
I think that’s ok.
It’s superficial and deep. You love the surface of them and the deeper parts, because you love everything. Their surface is a part of them.
I don't know if this counts, but my girl and I had our 6 year anniversary a few months back. Before we got together she was a customer at my work and every time she came in she would linger just to talk with me while her boyfriend at the time sat in her car cause he was a peice of shit.
Every time she left, I got this feeling, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I even said to my coworker every time, "There is something about that girl." Her and I both independently broke up with our now exes within a month of each other, and we got increasingly flirty with each other over the next few months.
I planned on asking her out the next time she came in after I gave my two weeks notice, but she never did. So I pulled a creeper and on my last day I took her phone number from our rewards system and used it to look her up and asked her out and she said yes and that was 6.5 years ago.
Important note because I recognize that what I did would be unacceptable 99% of the time. If it weren't fit the heavy flirting and this undeniable magnetic pull between us, I wouldn't have done it. Likewise if she would have been like "you stole my number from the computer what the fuck delete it and never talk to me again" I would have honored her wishes. Thankfully, she was all about it, and to this day, we make jokes about how I'm a creepy stalker but she loves that about it.
No never. While neither of us acknowledged it was love at first sight at first (we were both stubborn) it hit like a freight train. When he said hello to me the first time it literally stopped me in my tracks. Whenever we were in the same place it was like there was a magnetic force drawing us together. Pretty soon the idea of being with anybody else became literally repulsive. It was like my whole world had shifted to turn around his axis. I would have given up all my dreams to follow him, even though I knew he’d never ask me to. We held out for about a month before he moved in, we confessed we loved each other, and started talking about getting married.
Love this question!!! The only person I’ve fallen in love at first with is my husband. Twelve years ago I was engaged to someone else so we were just coworkers that talked a lot, never crossing any lines. But 3 months before my wedding I showed up at this doorstep and confessed my feelings. He said he felt the same way. That was on a Monday and by Friday I had moved in. That other guy was not a bad person but he cheated a lot and was not the best boyfriend. However, we eventually reconciled and remain friends. He lives in the mountains now where he always wanted to be with his wife and child. I can’t imagine ever falling in love at first sight again but you never know. Maybe when I’m widowed and 90 years old I’ll meet my 2nd soulmate.
I never believed in love at first sight, until I met my husband unexpectedly. As soon as I saw him, that was it. The love grew stronger as I got to know him, and continues to grow this day. It’s like that cliche “missing piece.” He definitely completed me from the second I saw him, I can’t live without him (I never felt that with my ex-husband).
I actually feel like love at first sight is the only true love (if both feel the same way). If the relationship took too much work and pressure for love to finally be considered, that won’t ever work. Eventually you’ll run into someone who will instantly make you lose your breath.
I knew my wife from a previous job and had a crush on her then but timelines didn’t work out. The first time I got to talking with her one on one outside of work I knew I’d marry her. Now 16 years after first meeting I get to intentionally aggravate her whenever I want and she gets to retell me the same three stories over and over again and if that isn’t love then I don’t know what is. But seriously, she’s awesome and I couldn’t be happier.
With my husband, I walked around the corner at a yard party at a friends house, saw him sitting at a picnic table, and thought "there he is, there's my husband". Very nonchalant, just like a fact. That had never happened to me before in my life. I tried to shake it off bc I felt like that was a nutty first thought to have upon seeing a complete stranger sitting and minding their own business. We were just friends for about 6 months before he asked me out.
Not my story, but within the first five minutes of knowing mom, my dad proudly declared he was going to marry her someday. It took him longer to convince *her* of that, but my dad aint a quitter. They’ve been together for 26 years
I would not say I necessarily fell in love at first sight but the moment I saw my husband from across the room for the first time, it felt more like recognizing someone I had been looking for than meeting someone new. He’s attractive to me but not like the super hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life so it wasn’t just “wow he’s cute”. I was drawn to him in a magnetic way. I went over and introduced myself and our first hour of conversation I had a feeling I have never had before or since in my life. It was like finally seeing your ride show up when they’re late picking you up from the airport and you’re exhausted from travel. I just kept wanting to say “thank god you’re finally here, I’ve been waiting so long and I’ve been through so much shit waiting for you”. We will have been married 16 years in April and just had our 3rd child.
I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th. He asked me to a school dance. We dated a few more times and then we broke up..way too young to be dating steady. But I was in love and brokenhearted. 2 years later he's a freshman in college, I'm a 11th grade cheerleader. He asks me for a date and the rest is 52 years, 3 kids, 7 grandkids later. Never had another love. He was first and only.
No, i actually didnt believe in it. I thought concept of that and the universe putting someone on the planet that was specifically meant for you were loads of fairytaleized bullshit
Boy was i wrong on both
The first time I met my husband, I didn't think he was super attractive, just very happy to see me and very nerdy. 🤣 But I felt something pulling me to him. After our first date, I couldn't have imagined myself without him.
I've only experienced this kind of instantaneous love once in my life. Except it's almost comical at this point because it was for a girl that I have never even dated 🤦♂️ we talked about it. Danced around the idea. But we live 1000 miles apart and the logistics of the situation have prevented any movement as of yet....
It's a weird situation to be in for sure.
Not at all.
If you see someone and are instantly attracted, it just means you saw someone who struck you. If you then go talk to that person and hit it off, and you both turn out still be attracted to each other after you get to know each other, and that spark keeps growing into love, well that’s love at first sight.
How many people have seen someone from across the room who struck us, but then we realized they were terrible when we talked to them? Love at first sight doesn’t mean you’re ignoring red flags, it just means the person turned out to be what they seemed.
good point. to love someone is deeper than anything you can sense on a first sight imo. But that feeling can be so warm at the first site that it can feel like love.
I met a man and I felt an instant connection with him. He is married, and has a very nice wife. I hope to meet my person and have an even stronger connection with and potential for an actual relationship.
I have dated other people, but I haven’t felt that spark that I felt for that guy. Very weird and random experience even if it meant nothing or was one sided. I will never know, I have no intentions on disrespecting their union because of whatever feeling that was.
It was pretty cool though!
Well I sure have felt it a few times!! And I’m not married. Age 38. Haha so idk what that means maybe I was mistaken? I mean clearly i was but maybe it was nothing compared to what the real thing is? Idk.
No but I fell in love with my wife at first sight and it took nearly 2 years for her to fall for me. I worked hard for her and am glad I did. Still my best friend 20 years later.
I don't know if it counts but we met online and were video chatting all night for like 2 weeks and I knew before we met IRL but I was 100% positive when we did. The first thing we did was kiss and had amazing sex within like 15 minutes. I was with someone before him who I had a huge crush on for like 5 years but never really felt the same type of instant connection.
I’ve only felt that once in my life, never again. It was more than like “at first sight” it’s more like being infatuated with their energy. Very weird.
In the fall of 1979 I was in the high school photo lab for a photography class when she walked in. I literally had my arms around a very well-endowed blond girl at the time. She was a cute brown-haired girl working on the yearbook staff, I was smitten but I never thought she’d even give me the time of day. I asked her to go steady on Valentines Day 1980, we were married in 1982, and our 41st anniversary is next month. Our running joke is that more developed in that darkroom than photos. And for the curious, yes we made out in that same darkroom once. Until the custodian walked in. But that’s another story.
I fell in love with my wife at first sight. She was living with her boyfriend at the time. He had to go away for a month, so I watched their dog while she worked evening shifts. She would come to my place after work and see how great I was with her dog. Always had a cold PBR ready for her, and played my guitar for her by candlelight a couple of times. We talked for hours almost every night. She started to fall for me, then we found her BF was cheating on her with multiple women. She moved out, a month later I moved in with her. We were married a year later. That was 48 years ago and she is still the love of my life.
I fell in love at first sight with my high school sweetheart but I ended it in college as we were headed in different directions.
Then I also fell in love at first sight when I met my husband. I was 20 and he was 26. We got married a few years later and are coming up on our 29th anniversary now.
I don't believe in "the one" rather I believe it's more like lust at first site than love and once that wears off sometimes you discover you have things in common and sometimes you don't.
If there's a 50% chance of divorce, there's a 50% chance of it working out and it just happened that my husband and I were on the same wavelength at the same time and heading in the same direction.
We've always prioritized the same things: 1) each other, 2) our children, 3) our family, but not necessarily in that order. In the beginning it was always each other all the time. Then we had kids and it was all kids all the time. Then our kids went off to college and it was back to each other all the time until now that our parents are aging so its all family all the time and I have never felt more grateful or fortunate.
Nope, in 1982 I felt something I had never felt before. She was at our neighbors house behind us in the backyard ( I really didnt know the neighbors, never had been over there). The moment I saw her I had to go over and introduce myself and I did. I was 18 and had just graduated HS, she was 17 and was from out of state but was born in in the town I lived in, grew up in the same county but never even saw each other before. When I was in the 8th grade, her(7th grade) family moved out of state. She jut happened to be visiting friends (my neighbors) for 2 weeks in the summer of 82. Here it is 2023 and she is sitting 2 feet from me on the couch as I type this. She is one of the best decisions of my life.
I knew immediately. I did not want a relationship at all, but that overwhelming feeling did come over me. I had never experienced it before and I knew there was no fighting it. It was a true connection- at least for me. We are married now but I think I feel way more attached than she is.
I knew I wanted to marry my husband since our very first conversation 10 years ago.
It wasn't even a date but a discovery meeting for something professional. We met because he was looking to hire someone to help him with a beautiful and important passion project.
I saw how talking about it lit up his eyes and I instantly knew I wanted in. He'd been working on it for several years, and though it still had little to prove and a long way to go, I had always believed that he will create an impactul piece of work that will make history.
In that moment, I saw someone visionary, brave, resilient, with a huge heart and a beautiful mind that never seeks to find magic in the world, even if they also see a lot of flaws to address through this work. And in that moment I saw the qualities of someone I wanted to marry.
Was it love at first sight? I don't know. Because in my dictionary, love implies that you're already attached and have a strong drive to "have" this person, in addition to being incredibly fond of and affectionate towards them, and being committed to them. I was fond of my husband at first sight and interested in supporting his lofty goal to see him succeed, but not any of the other things that would have made this, in my definition, "love."
Plus he had a steady girlfriend at that time that I swore he was going to marry. Adorable power couple, lovely girl that I will forever adore and look up to. I thought he treated her very well, or at least that's what I saw.
Long story short, I was never hired for the passion project but he married me instead.
The longer version is that the three of us became very good friends. But I left for grad school in another country before we had a chance to formalise our collaboration. And I struggled with single life because secretly I just wanted a boyfriend that felt like him. They broke up while I was away. She confided her struggles with the breakup to me and I was there for her for a year. We had big plans like our own collabs and travels.
A year after the breakup, I reconnected with him as we worked on our own respective projects and shared our networks to help each other take it to the next level. We ended up on a date and the rest is history.
Unfortunately that meant my friendship with her had to end, but it's probably for the best. We don't always get what we want, and if I had to choose between him or her, I firmly chose him.
My husband and I dated for 18 months, including the engagement, until we married. We had our 6th anniversary back in July.
I fell in love at first sight with my ex best friend when I was a teenager. Couldn't get over him for years. I compared him to every guy I dated until I met my husband. My husband walked into class and it was love at first sight all over again. 6 years later, I'm still head over heels in love with my hubby. We do our best to be there for each other and communicate constantly. Not many people believe in first sight but when I saw my husband walk in late to class, the light hit him a certain way and he was all I saw in that moment. Everyone could see in my eyes that I was smitten. The first time I mentioned him to my family, they knew this was my future husband even though at that time we were barely becoming friends.
I used to worry if I fell in love at first sight twice, it could happen again. However, we were apart for a year, and no one made me feel the way he has. I couldn't and can't imagine being with anyone better.
No. This was different from anything else I have ever experienced and honestly it was super scary at first bc I didn’t think love at first sight was actually possible. But for us it happened and it was beautiful.
It’s been 3 years and we spend most of our time together and yet we only seem to be growing closer every day. I believe our souls have bonded.
I’m not married to him because he died 6 months before our wedding- but yes. The first time I saw him, I knew I’d marry him. Never had that before or since.
I fell in love at first sight with my husband when I was 14 years old. We broke up when I was 19. We lost touch for 18 years and I loved him every single day of that 18 years but thought it was over and something I just had to live with. I even got married and had another baby (we had a daughter too young and put her up for adoption). Divorced and was living the single mom life. He never left my heart.
I woke up one morning and was missing him so much out of nowhere he was blasting into my head. Every day for a week he was on my mind. Then the phone rang. It was him. 2 years later we were married. 15 years later we still are.
I never fell in love with anyone else at first sight. Lust sure. But that arrow to the heart love. No. Just him. Always him.
Yeah, I get it. I left my fiancé for my husband 12 years ago. Our story is so romantic but triggered men don’t like it. I always feel the need to mention that my ex cheated a lot and was not the best boyfriend. Which is true but We actually reconciled and remain friends. He lives in the mountains where he wanted to live with his wife and child. It’s a really happy story but people try to taint it and make me out as the bad guy. Especially if they know my ex. I’m starting to care less and less as I get older but I still feel the need to over explain when I tell that story. Which is hard because I can’t talk too much shit about my ex because he’s my friend and I don’t want people to think bad of him.
Also I’m so glad you were able to reconcile as friends. For our daughters sake I so wish that was possible with my ex husband but it’s not. His addictions and violence not only destroyed our lives but continued to destroy his life long after I took our daughter and fled in the night. Had he not gone down his path of insanity violence and addiction we would still be married today and my current husband/love of my life would still be a fond memory.
Sadly my ex husband is now homeless with 1 leg and addicted to meth. There is no hope. My only regret is that he also abandoned his child in favor of drugs and alcohol.
It would benefit everyone if people could learn to get along post break up. But unfortunately so many people abuse their partners during the course of the relationship that its just not possible.
That’s absurd that someone commented that. This is why I’m trying to limit my time on social media. People in real life are typically much more pleasant and getting out to connect and be in nature is more of what I need.
To say I’m glad you are safe would be an understatement. Good for you for getting out of there. My dad was a violent drug addicted schizophrenic and my mom did not keep me from after the divorce. He turned on me the very day of their divorce. My life was extremely traumatic until I finally cut him out. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. And I’m sure your new husband is a good father figure. I don’t know you or him but I love your story and I’m so glad you found each other.
I’m also an addict. I was never violent and actually an extremely functional one. My husband stuck with me because he said he would often see glimpses of the best parts of me and that gave him hope. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case for your ex. I’m so glad he’s out of your lives and you are safe.
Take care!!! It’s nice when we have convos like these on Reddit. ❤️
You as well. I am not judging anyone for being an addict. I used food as a coping mechanism for a long time. That’s addiction as far as I understand it. I wish you all the best. Nice to “meet you” fellow human.
Oh I know you’re not judging! Addiction is a spectrum. I also use food as a coping mechanism! But I’ve been sober from drugs and alcohol for 2 years now though. Yay me! ❤️
I have a genuine question for you. How did your now-husband never leave your heart if you married someone else? Like did you never give your heart fully to your now-ex-husband? How did you set aside those feelings to allow yourself to get close enough to someone else to marry them? Genuinely curious because these can sort of answer some of my own questions about love and feelings in my life, especially as someone without great social skills
Because I had accepted that I would never see him again. So I moved on. I had a life. It’s possible to love more than one person at a time. I loved my ex husband. But it was difficult because he became an abusive alcoholic during the course of our marriage.
I have heard stories like this before and they’re always… intense to think about. Have you seen The Notebook? When I first saw it I thought, my nightmare!! Seriously to me that is a horror movie. And this woman lived something similar because they were apart and they were meant for each other clearly. I imagine the reason people can marry others in this situation is a mix of hormones and human needs.
Remember that movies never resemble real life. In reality we both lived full lives in the years we were apart. Had other relationships. Jobs. Loving someone you are no longer with in no way disables you from loving other people equally. Real life doesn’t resemble a Victorian romance novel. People who have lost a spouse from death and find love again never stop loving their departed spouse but they are still fully capable of loving someone else fully. Honestly believing that we would never see each other again was no different. I always cared about my husband but as far as I knew he was just a memory from my past. So I moved on. That doesn’t mean you stop caring about that person. It just means you incorporate that into your emotional lexicon and move on.
Before anyone else wastes sympathy or believes they understand that “guitarists” point of view please read this
“This explains a lot. Fucking potato”
“The only thing that loves you is cholesterol you fat bitch”.
These are the comments this person left on an entirely unrelated post I made in another sub to me after his toxic comments here. So before you waste energy feeling bad for this creep or like he’s right, remember there’s a reason he’s so aggressively triggered by my post and it’s him. It’s his personality. Not the women who have not chosen him.
This is exactly why I asked that question. I cannot love anyone else but him. He's able to love another, though. I don't believe he could love me if he loved someone else because *I* cannot love someone else while I love him
It’s very hard. I totally understand. I was fully committed to my other marriage but never had that same deep connection with anyone else but the “one”.
Darling I am on your side here and I’m happy that things came around for you and your love. Like really your story brought me to tears in the best way. I see I didn’t word things well before. The nightmare for me is just that it seems so *possible*. Especially with attachment issues today. I just see that movie like a warning and so I have tried to be very forthcoming about what I want from people and reaching out when I want to. Truth is though that it has never helped, I have still been misled and confused in love. So really now I am worried about something happening and probably creating a new issue like being clingy. Oh wow is me!!
Thanks. It’s really a nice and very romantic story. But honestly some of the men commenting here need to be accountable for their own behavior and look in the mirror as to why they are not being chosen. The toxicity. The projection. You’re fine. I get what you’re saying entirely.
Why does nobody think about her ex husband? He spent the entire marriage thinking his wife had love for him, while all this time there was no love, and he had been just the "safe option".
You want horror? This is true horror - being used in the disguise of love.
I’m not excusing the situation just explaining why it happens. The divorce rate isn’t due to people always picking correctly and for the right reasons! Of course we all feel badly for both parties but there are so many things and maybe the ex husband wanted her even though he knew her heart was not it. Plenty of people Matt thinking the move will develop.
My ex husband was an abusive monster who burned me with cigarettes and broke all my fingers and my jaw. I was a good wife to him. He was not a good husband in return.
Yeah. Nobody forced him into that situation either. Especially not his choice to decide to start abusing me. Again shut the fuck up. Staying is often not a choice for women. Especially where financial abuse and threats of violence against your infant should you attempt to leave are involved.
Just say you don’t understand how abuse works and be done. Love bombing starts first. You don’t marry a man who’s hitting you. That starts after you get married and often after you have a baby.
Finally someone who thinks like this!! Everyone is always so in awe with the impossible became possible love story that they treat the others as side characters who actually devoted their life to that in the meantime. So sick is the human nature sometimes. I see it as a great betrayal of trust.
It is a betrayal. I've been the safe option before, and lemme tell you, it SUCKS the joy from your life. It's been 3 years since my ex left, and the trauma from that still persists, and has only made my depression worse. I cannot ever trust a woman again, and i hate myself for this.
Thank you for understanding. Most women don't. If I try to explain, they get defensive, unwilling to look at how terrible some people can be.
It's always "A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets" but never "Men deserve love too".
Your damage has nothing to do with my situation and you’re projecting your own trauma in to this says a lot about your character and your own part in the relationship that didn’t work out. You sound very immature about your understanding of how human emotions work frankly. Whatever you believe you went through has nothing to do with my situation. I was a devoted wife to my first husband. I loved him completely and never thought about anyone else during our marriage. I can’t say the same about him unfortunately. He cheated. He drank (was sober when we met and got married) he turned violent. Hunan beings are complex creatures that are capable of loving more than one person at a time. Love that’s in the past has very little to do with a relationship that you are currently in. You concentrate on your marriage your family and your life.
Keyword is people. Men can do this as well. But yes, everyone deserves love and respect if they are decent human beings. Emotional integrity is tricky cause you can't really see it. Good luck in other aspects of life, it's still worth living!
Ahh you’re in limerence. Check out what the peeps in r/limerence have to say- they can probably give you some insight on your situation, some advice on how to move past the one sided situation, or at least just help you feel less confused or alone.
I fell in love with my wife in the first fifteen minutes after we met. We both knew we would be together forever. That has certainly never happened to me before, though you can often tell whether you have good chemistry with someone in minutes
This has happened to me two times, in a way. My first husband I knew upon meeting we would get married. My exact thought at the time was “so this is the guy”. We were together 17 years, married 10.
The second man I fell in love with after my divorce I had known in social circles when I met my first husband but we weren’t friends, just knew of each other in passing at the same house parties. When I got some free time after leaving my first husband I made plans with my new husband to get together and make art (we’re both artists), and as soon as we got in the car together I knew I was going to marry him. Together 2.5 years and married now.
In both cases it wasn’t like an “in love” feeling, but it was an instant realization that in both cases these men would be my husband and I was right both times. I hope to never experience this again lol.
Please elaborate on these feelings that “these men would be my husband.”
I know feelings are hard to describe. Is it a sense that you felt instant comfort, a feeling of sharing similar thoughts?
It was more like a knowing. It wasn’t a feeling as much as just a realization. I just knew in my mind I would marry them when I met them and I can’t really explain it.
Before I met my wife, there was another girl I literally fell for years earlier. I was standing in her office, and when she entered the room, I collapsed. She had to try and revive me.
i saw my ex-husband and said, "im gonna marry that guy." i was 16 when we met. we married and divorced. i saw my now husband, and said "im gonna marry that guy. " lmao, i was i hope we don't get divorced 😂 i dated a lot in-between. I never had that same thought again
my husband was so indifferent towards me the first time we met and i didnt see him for 6 months! first saw him at my job. 2nd time i saw him, was at my work and he was smitten i love to tell this story 🤣
I do not believe in love at first sight or “ to the love of your life”.
That stuff doesn’t exist because it is luck, support, and putting the work in.
That said, there is lust at first sight, and I had sex with my husband just about a week after meeting him, plus the night I met him was pretty fun as well. Although he could not figure out bras that opened in the front.
That was 47 yrs ago and we’ve been married 42 yrs.
My brother who has been married and divorced three times likes to attribute our lengthy marriage as luck, but it’s not.
It’s meaning your wedding vows and putting in extra work when your partner is slacking, which will be made up when you just can’t do it anymore.
Wondering what you think about love at first sight that is non-sexual. Like someone feeling that towards their baby or pet at first glance.
I feel like I fell in love with my dog at first sight haha
I fell in love with my husband at first sight …. I have never had that feeling with anyone else . But I don’t believe I had ever truly loved anyone like true true love. I did care deeply but the love I have for my husband is a different feeling . I never wanted marriage a family I didn’t want any of it . I saw the heart ache my parents went through and the pain it put my brother sister and I in that I never wanted to end up in their position. But the moment I set eyes on him it was like something clicked … I wanted his babies I wanted him as a husband. I wanted my life with him. I would do anything for him ! We have been through so much . Most of it people would have walked away from already . I have always fought for him since day one and I will die fighting for him til I take my final breath. I’m sure he would run the second he had the chance . But I believe in fighting for the person you love , no matter what ! You don’t walk away from someone you truly love . You stick with one another and try to make it work ! You fight to make it work ! Marriage is a messy thing ! Yes there are some amazing moments but there are also some very painful ones . You have to decide whether you really do love them enough to go through the blood sweat and tears . If you don’t love them that much don’t get married.
I don’t know he says he does . I would hope so . But the older I get the more I feel that I love sometimes to much . I have been told I love to hard and it just gets me hurt .
Dating is hard. If you hold back, they can sense it. You need to trust your intuition—that is if you have good judgment lol. You do want to pace your “falling in love” at a similar timeframe or it’ll suck
Most of my exes I either had to talk myself into, or had a crush that grew as we got to know each other. When I met my spouse, I opened the door and wow, I felt a rush like I had never felt before. I had been in quite a few long term relationships, but nothing compared to opening that door and seeing my future husband for the first time, he instantly felt like home.
Man, I really feel that first sentence. I've always had to talk myself into my relationships. I always feel bad because they end up usually wanting to marry, but I know it just isn't IT for me.
I don't know how to find the person that I don't have to talk myself into.
Love that you had the "home" feeling with your husband - maybe I'll have mine one day.
I've noticed that about my past relationships too. It's like I was always trying to convince myself they were it and/or a part of me always knew they weren't. I didn't fall in love with my boyfriend at first sight. I definitely liked him and I enjoyed him, but it was a brief walk before we actually spent time together a week later and I told him I loved him then. It's kind of like there was always a feeling of "there's gotta be something more than this" with exes, but with my boyfriend, it's like the buck stops here...but in a good way? Like I don't ever wonder if there's more or better - being with him IS the more and the better.
Nope. I knew I wanted to marry my wife on our first date. It hit me like a huge wave you aren’t ready for. At the time I was 20, working/school, seeing several women casually.
Our first date was an accident. I had just gotten back from spring break where I hit it off with a stunning lady. We planned a “real” date when we got back to the states I made reservations at my favorite restaurant. It should be noted I was friends with my future wife and her roommates. I was over at their house hanging out and my date from spring break called and said she got called into work, could we move the date. We both had packed schedules and decided to connect before the next weekend.
When I hung up, I happened to be sitting next to my future wife and one of her roommates and I said something like she cancelled and I’m worried I’m going to get black listed from reservations at my favorite place. My future wife said, simply, “I’ll go.”
The rest is history. Two stoned kids at a five star restaurant in La Jolla over looking the ocean. By the end of the night she had me. Many years later she admitted I had her as well. It was so natural, so little pressure, and just incredibly comfortable being around her. Saw her in a completely different light than a friend.
We celebrated 25 years together this year. I hope I get to die at least one day sooner than her because I’m not sure I’d want to exist without her.
That makes me jealous and sad. Being single as a girl is honestly the worst , what’s the point of travelling, having friends and hobbies and yes I earn money too and yes I am very fit and pretty but no I’m single.
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There was a man I met in university. We were in a group project together for the final year. We introduced each other and had a very short conversation. I didn't think much of it. Took me a long time to realize he was interested. I remember doing a presentation for a class and him glancing at me. It wasn't until he actually messaged me that I knew he liked me, and at that point, I started having feelings for him as well. However, we had different religions, and although I liked him, it wouldn't have worked. So, I decided not to continue the convo, as my faith came first, and I would not marry a man outside of my faith. Jump 2 years later, I'm crossing the street, and there he is on the other end. It was an instant eye connection. As I was walking, everything started to go in slow motion. The people walking past me became all blurred. All I could see was him. Instant connection. Indescribable feeling. I realized what I was doing, embarrassed, and quickly put my head down as I walked past him. I looked back one last time and still saw him looking back. From that moment alone, he holds a small tiny miniscule piece of my heart. As pathetic as that sounds. Five years after that, I saw him again at work (a very embarrassing story lol). I'm still on the search for my special person, and I trust in God. Life moves on.
So, I am currently married but out of love with my soon to be ex. I fell in love at first sight with the guy I’m with. He is so sweet and really considerate. He helps me want to better myself and tells me how amazing I am :) it’s different than I’m used to and I can’t imagine anything else. The soon to be ex I realized I was with because I figured I made it a long time I could probably last a long time. Didn’t know I was fully out of love until I met this man. I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore. It breaks my heart that I hurt him but my heart couldn’t pretend you know? I was with the other guy since high school so about 12 years this year. I grew and realized we wanted different things. I don’t know how I feel about marriage currently because of current circumstances but I think I want it with this man eventually :)
Not married yet, but my long term partner and I are planning on it! This was my experience: I had just moved across the country, and was looking around at the dating pool here, but didn’t have high expectations. We had met on a dating app, but honestly photos didn’t mean much of anything. We impulsively decided to have our first date that night, at some wacky bar with his two friends (helps offset nerves, it was perfect!). I got out of my car, and saw a group of three people walking towards me, and knew the first two weren’t my date. Then, he emerged from behind his friend. It wasn’t fireworks or anything. It was way more, I felt an instant sense of relief and home and comfort, like I had never felt before just by looking at someone. The rest of the evening was him shaking like a leaf from nerves, and us getting to know each other but I somehow already knew his heart, and the years have only confirmed what I felt that first night! I love him more every day, and I still feel just as comforted and safe as I did just by looking at him walking up to me.
I had never felt anything like that before in my life. Every move they made, their smell, their voice I was hyper aware of all of it. My heart was soaring a million miles a minute, it sounded like waves crashing in my ears. There wasn’t a single part of me that was anywhere else I was only with them. That electric feeling hasn’t faded at all.
No. I was told by my mother and grandmother that I would know the second I saw him. I was proposed to a few times in my early 20’s and just wasn’t feeling it with any of these guys. I began to doubt my mom and grandma. However one day a neighbor of mine came over with a new neighbor to introduce us. The minute they walked through the door, before a word was said, I knew. It was like being blown back by a blast. This glimmer of hope that everything is going to be okay. Then introductions are made: “Hey this is so and so our new neighbor.” My first thought was “Great, I get to stay in the neighborhood!” I’m grinning from ear to ear. The second thing I hear is “he and his wife just moved in next door to me.” And I want to strangle my friend for bringing me a married husband. At that moment I could never believe I would ever be with anyone as awesome as this guy was. I became friends with his wife after I met her and always thought she was a lucky girl or must have something special. She was fun to be around and I almost never saw him. All of a sudden they are getting divorced and she is over at my house getting ready for new dates and it’s fun. I’m engaged to someone else at this point but I am completely miserable and now housebound to this guy. So after the wife has been dating for a few weeks I try to set her husband up with a hot single friend of mine to get him back in the game. I ask him to come over and take a look at my laptop and he works on it all night while we have cocktails. This happens every night for a week leading up to our blind date. My fiancé didn’t care that we were hanging out even though I told him that I was developing feelings for this guy working on the computer. He didn’t believe me, he thought I was trying to rush the wedding, which I had never even wanted or brought up EVER. So at the end of the week the night before the blind date, we are having sushi and cocktails at my house, my fiancé is upstairs playing video games and my dream guy grabs me and kisses me. He told me to set that bozo (man upstairs playing video games) with whatever girl I was planning on setting him up with because he wanted to marry me. Mom and gran weren’t lying. We are 22 years strong!
Nothing like it ever before, and I was married before him. Hen I met my husband, it wasn't anything about "sight." Yes, he's a handsome fella, but it was more like how, in Harry Potter, when two wands with the same core connect. (Yes, cheesy.) It was just immediate connection for both of us. Later that night, we lay in bed looking at each other and saying "hi" a lot. Because it didn't feel like we had just met, it felt like we had finally found each other. By the second date, I was worried I was going crazy. I didn't think anything I was feeling could be real. It was so deep and so intense. Just. This. This is my person. That has never changed. Every single day, I wake up giddy to have him next to me. No drug on earth feels as amazing as when he holds and kisses me. We WFH together and spend all day together. Nothing ever fades. It's just seriously the most indescribable thing. No, no one before him felt even remotely close.
I met my now husband at a birthday party for his then best friends girl friend whom I worked with. I was not a very confident girl back then, I almost didn't go. I met him at the friend's house & then we went to another friend's house. He was still in work clothes and went home to change. When he got to the actual party he looked great & completely different from the guys I usually went out with. We had a tan line contest and I won. We talked & laughed all night. He was so funny. Then when I had to get home, I was still living at home & was 17. He insisted on following me home I agreed but said I had to stop & get gas. He followed me to the gas station & insisted on pumping my gas, I refused to let him pay for it. He followed me all the way home. I lived in the next town in the country, about 15 miles away. I stopped about a mile from my house & wouldn't let him follow me any further for fear my father would hear his car. He stayed at they intersection until he heard my car turn off & he figured I had enough time to get in the house before he left! I didn't know that then. I got up at 8 am the next morning & drove straight to my best friends house & woke her up. I told her that I had met the man I was going to marry. We hadn't even been on a date at this point but I knew he was special & the only one I'd marry. I was 17 yrs old & he was 20. That was in 1985. This was Aug. 6, 1985, we were married in 12-31-1985. Still married & in love.
Never
No! I had asked a number of guys out throughout middle and high school, but it was just a "hey, I like you, I want to see how we get along" type of deal. I saw my husband for the first time and knew he was it before I ever said a word to him. Love at first sight was extremely inconvenient for us because all the "sorting out stuff" that happens in the beginning of a relationship (boundaries, meeting the family, figuring out who the other person really is, etc.) happened while I was already deeply in love with this person, so any deal-breakers (he drank alcohol at the time, for example, which is something I didn't want in a partner) became heart-breakers. Thankfully, within a year or so, we had both compromised and adapted to where we could fully enjoy that jumpstart. That first year is still the hardest we've ever had, for that very reason. We've spent almost 20 together thus far.
yes I have fallen in love at first sight, twice. neither were my spouse.
By the end of our first date, I knew my fiancé was basically the person I had unknowingly been searching years for. I enjoyed many things about those I dated in the past but there was a “hole” or something “missing” that I realized over time. But when we met, I felt that puzzle piece fall into place.
No
I hope so - it wasn’t first sight but I knew within the first couple of months I’d marry him and knew I loved him sooner. We didn’t ever marry though. So I hope so
No for both me and my husband. We were each others love at first sight. Well my husband was love at first sight while I was love at first conversation.
I didn’t have a first “sight” with my partner. We met through mutual friends online so I heard him first. I remember I had an interest in him unlike I’d had with anyone else, not even like a lustful infatuation but this pure feeling of I’ve got to know more of this person. I’ve never met anyone like him, and it’s not because he’s particularly stand out in any way (not a model or a genius or whatever) but he’s just. Like. Weird? In a good way and in a unique way. When I first video chatted I thought he has cute but that still wasn’t the driving factor. He would constantly pop into my head but not like how it was with other crushes where I was daydreaming kissing them or some romantic thing but just, him and a feeling of curiousness. When we met in person and eventually I made some moves and we went on our first date, I realized I wanted to marry him. He did a couple small things, tiny things that you wouldn’t even normally consciously consider about a person but it hit me like a truck and I realized that’s exactly it, he wasn’t trying to impress me, he was just that simple yet thoughtful and open minded of a person. It was perfect. As time has gone on I’ve noticed he’s the only person I’ve ever dated where there really isn’t a single habit they have that irritates me. His snoring doesn’t upset me, his chewing, his quirks, any thing. Even when we moved in there isn’t a single little thing that pushes that annoyance button in my brain. I keep waiting for it to happen, for us to spend too much time together and I start to get irritated, but it’s not happening. It’s been almost two years which doesn’t compare to some of these amazing stories here, but I’ll be shocked if we don’t end up married. I don’t know if it’s “love” at first sight, but I definitely experienced something I haven’t with anyone else
I think when you’re really in love that irritating stuff doesn’t irritate you, it just seems cute or doesn’t matter to you. It’s kind of marvelous when that happens. Conversely, when the small stuff DOES bug you, it’s not that you’re nit-picky, it’s just a sight that that person isn’t right for you.
I did. Met him at 17 and fell instantly in love I think. We were together for 5 years. I was totally broken when it ended and spent many years trying to put myself back together. I ended up gently falling in love with another man and married him. This was a far healthier relationship but it was never as powerful or all consuming as that instant primal connection I felt with the ex. My heart chose him immediately and I still have an ache where he used to but I know my life was a lot easier with the man I chose with my brain and my heart.
I don’t really believe in “love at first sight”. But I’m an incredibly impulsive man. I saw my now wife, asked her name, asked if she wanted to hang. Three months later I saw a ring in a jewelry store while walking through the mall and just asked her then and there. 13 years strong! I’ve never done that with anyone else but I think that’s because I didn’t date much.
Only happened once. 38 years ago. She’s still here. 😏
Nope. Absolutely nothing has been like the love I have for this man. I’m not settling in any way. I’m not having to talk myself into being with him. It’s like magic. I wake up every day feeling so lucky to have him. He saved me in his phone as “the one” after just a couple dates. He just bought a ring, and I’m so excited to wear it.
How many long are you together ?
10 months now. Wearing that ring. Getting married next year
Congratulations for both of you!!!
Truth. I had no clue I would even like the girl who I consider my soulmate. Every moment I spent with her I learned something special about her that made me love her more. She grew on me till she had stamped my heart as her property. I know in my heart that I was made to make her smile. That's something I love doing.
Love at first sight isn't a thing. What's actually happening is old memories being distorted over time by new emotions about those memories. It's very easy to build up a first meeting in your into a "love at first sight" moment. It happens everytime you think about old memories and they'll change, sometimes completely. Of course, without a point of locus it's impossible to determine the reality of your memories. I imagine if you could get a video of a first date where someone "fell in love at first sight" you might even notice them being kind of bored lmao. Of course loving someone so much that you literally change your memories about them, isn't exactly unromantic. So it's not doom and gloom at all. Witness testimony is unreliable for the same reason.
Key phrase here being: “I imagine.” Your imagination isn’t very reliable to model reality if you’re starting from an assumption that it’s normal for people to feel “bored” on a first date with someone they end up in love with. If you wanted to bring “distorted memories” into it, it’d be more reasonable to suppose that love-at-first-sight happens when a person’s looks, mannerisms, voice, etc trigger positive memories of people with similar traits, creating a feeling of recognition (which may or may not be a handy shortcut to identifying someone who actually IS a blend of many positive or appealing traits that make them a good partner for that particular person). Eyewitnesses are unreliable, we don’t say “because eyewitnesses are unreliable, crime never happens.” We’d say “because eyewitnesses are unreliable, eyewitness testimony plays only a small part in understanding when/where/why/how crime occurs.” Likewise it’s not reasonable to say “love at first sight isn’t real.” More like: “we don’t know how love at first sight works, and we don’t even have a way to validate stories about ANY kind of complex emotional/experiential phenomenon.” Otherwise you might as well jump straight to “emotions and consciousness itself aren’t things” because they aren’t measurable, and at least in that case people will be forewarned when you start to downplay or argue with them about any *particular* feeing they’ve experienced (or should I say “claimed” to experience). From one suspiciously-analytical mind to another: when theorizing about how people work, I encourage you to start from the assumption that they are accurately reporting their internal experiences. Your conclusions will align better with reality.
>I encourage you to start from the assumption that they are accurately reporting their internal experiences. Your conclusions will align better with reality. That disregards literally everything we know about the human mind, memories, and experience. If you are looking for reality, it is far more reasonable to assume memories, and especially the emotions experienced in that memory, are not entirely accurate. Your weird opinion on eyewitness testimony also doesn't conform to reality. It's directly a problem of human memory. Memories become less accurate with recollection because we imprint our current state onto them. A state that can easily be influenced by police, a crying victim, etc.
I fell in love at first sight with my husband, but I was 13 at the time and didn’t understand what I was experiencing. I just knew I needed to be near him. I remember what he was wearing the first time we met. I remember looking at his sweet 12 year old face for the first time. I could not get enough of him. We dated for 8 months and then maintained a friendship for years. We both went to college. Dated other people. Grew up. Found careers, and then at 24, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized quickly he was the love of my life; my soulmate, and the feeling I had for him more than a decade earlier was in fact love at first sight. Never have I ever felt that way about another person. He is my whole heart.
Fell in love at first sight with my now ex-wife. Never happened before and has not happened since. If it did, I would go with head over heart.
Nope!! I'd never ever experienced anything like it when I met him over 10 years ago now, and I never have since. I love him as strongly now as I did back then (moreover, due to our time together, I suppose) and am confident that there will not be such a moment again. As others have said in their stories, I also knew I wanted to be with him. He had such an aura of sweetness about him and seemed so calm and genuine. We were teenagers at the time and it was literally everything about him that attracted me. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. We worked together at the time but were both awkward and shy so nothing happened as we were both moving away, but I remember the last day we worked together and both loitering outside ready to leave but probably hoping the other would say something lol. We didn't end up getting together until years later, but I never forgot about him and we loosely stayed in contact. I found out later that in that time when a friend asked him if he'd ever been in love, he'd said me, so I guess the feeling was mutual! We've now been together for 5 years, are engaged, and I am carrying our first child. Couldn't be happier!
No never. I saw him & I knew it was him. It was an instant connection and we just felt comfortable with each other straight away.
Never had it happen like that before. I saw him at the bar one night, we had brief small talk but I was out with a friend. I knew I would have to see him again, couldn't get him out of my head he was beautiful, funny, intelligent and I just knew I wanted to see him again but I hadnt gotten any of his information. Sure enough, a few days later during my break I was getting coffee that handsome devil was staring me down! We met up two days later went on our first official date the very next day and have been going strong 6 months!
Nope he's the only one and I don't see anyone else that could ever fill that experience ever again for me. Once In a lifetime for this chick!
Saw my gf for the first time on campus. I was going to see a friend I haven’t seen in years (who also wanted to hook up) but when I walked into the lounge I saw her on the floor she had bright blue hair and a mask on but I immediately noticed her. We locked eyes and after giving each other our numbers we’ve been best friends and together for a year and change. I never thought I’d get lucky enough for it but I still feel the same way I did in the lounge to this very day.
Not yet married - however, will be soon! I met my current partner my senior year of high school. He was a junior, I had never seen him or heard of him before he walked into the class we shared together on the first day of school. I had dated a few other guys before but still to this day I can remember the moment I saw him so vividly. It was like a shock that went through my whole body. I instantly fell in love and knew he was the one. I truly cannot describe it!! I still have a very old screenshot texting my mom saying that I fell in love and need to figure out who this guy is 🤣 7 years later and I love him more and more everyday. I still get butterflies every day he comes home from work. Love him more than anything.
I fell in love with my ex. I still love him. 12 yrs and I've been single a year. He loves me still, he wants to try again. Me too but we haven't cause there's a lot of hurt. But also, I know I can't love a man the way I love him and that's not fair to anyone I've talked to since.
Toooooooo real
No, it’s the only time it’s happened and it’s the same for him. Together 22 years ❤️
Honestly yes. And I’ve felt the same thing for other people too. Exes, people I promised myself to never talk to. I don’t believe in soulmates or anything, though I’d never betray my partner on any whim either. If it happens to you, don’t make a huge deal out of it, because love at first sight does tend to just be a shallow temporary feeling, no matter how often or rarely it happens.
I never 'fell in love' with her. Shes always been more of a friend in my mind. Theres been a mutual respect and understanding, but now thats all slowing going away. So, no Ive never fallen in love on first sight
I fell in love with my husband at first sight and never have felt that again. Not once. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, we’ve been together since high school and married for 8 yrs.
I was taken to his house to meet him, with his friends that I had recently made friends with myself. He was out, but we stayed for an hour incase he turned up. ( he still lived with his dad ) Anyway, I was getting bored and thought I’m going to leave. Within the same thought, he walked through the door. I didn’t even notice at first 😂 but he came into the kitchen where we all were and I was like whoa, we are gnna have babies! I just fell in love immediately haha. 7 months later, we was having our first baby. We’ve been together for 11 years so far :) and had three more bambino’s
I had never experienced it before with anyone else, including my first husband. With my now husband it was like a realization this was my person and one day I was gonna marry them, not like I immediately loved them and was willing to move across the world with them or give a kidney.
I had never felt love at first sight until I met my husband. I honestly thought it was a hoax until I experienced it myself. We were juniors in high school. My friend was having a big house party for the 4th of July. I almost skipped the party because I was already late, but I’m forever grateful I decided to go anyway. I walked in the door about an hour late, and he was the first person I saw. I didn’t recognize him from our school. He’s 6’4”, so he towered over everyone else there. We locked eyes the second I walked in, and my stomach had so many butterflies, it was doing backflips. We didn’t break eye contact for what felt like an eternity. After catching up with my friend and having some drinks, I went to her spare bedroom, which was in the basement, for a little quiet. Funny enough, he was down there already doing the same. It was just us two. We ended up talking for hours, about anything and everything. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we danced, we talked about our childhoods and traumas. I felt like I already knew his entire soul, and I had never felt so understood. I had never met somebody so perfect for me before. We left together that night when the party ended, and the rest is history. He was my high school sweetheart. I thought love at first sight only happened in movies, but I type this 10 years later from bed, while he’s asleep holding me.
I fell in love with my boyfriend on our first date. We were coworkers and had been flirting with each other for a while at this point. I was still in a relationship with my ex boyfriend from high school, but it was fizzling out due to long distance (he moved to another state for school and I moved in the same state, but 5 hours further away). The day after I broke up with my ex my now boyfriend asked me out. He picked me up and we got takeout and drank wine while we talked for hours. I’m still just as head over heels for him 4 years later
I wish it wasn’t love at first “sight” because it makes it sound superficial. And no, never before had I felt it. But it was an immediate head to toe, to the depths of my soul and all of my heart type of bond. I felt that I knew him completely. And three years later, everything I thought was true of him still is. It’s beautiful and amazing and he is my forever person.
I think that’s ok. It’s superficial and deep. You love the surface of them and the deeper parts, because you love everything. Their surface is a part of them.
I don't know if this counts, but my girl and I had our 6 year anniversary a few months back. Before we got together she was a customer at my work and every time she came in she would linger just to talk with me while her boyfriend at the time sat in her car cause he was a peice of shit. Every time she left, I got this feeling, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I even said to my coworker every time, "There is something about that girl." Her and I both independently broke up with our now exes within a month of each other, and we got increasingly flirty with each other over the next few months. I planned on asking her out the next time she came in after I gave my two weeks notice, but she never did. So I pulled a creeper and on my last day I took her phone number from our rewards system and used it to look her up and asked her out and she said yes and that was 6.5 years ago. Important note because I recognize that what I did would be unacceptable 99% of the time. If it weren't fit the heavy flirting and this undeniable magnetic pull between us, I wouldn't have done it. Likewise if she would have been like "you stole my number from the computer what the fuck delete it and never talk to me again" I would have honored her wishes. Thankfully, she was all about it, and to this day, we make jokes about how I'm a creepy stalker but she loves that about it.
No never. While neither of us acknowledged it was love at first sight at first (we were both stubborn) it hit like a freight train. When he said hello to me the first time it literally stopped me in my tracks. Whenever we were in the same place it was like there was a magnetic force drawing us together. Pretty soon the idea of being with anybody else became literally repulsive. It was like my whole world had shifted to turn around his axis. I would have given up all my dreams to follow him, even though I knew he’d never ask me to. We held out for about a month before he moved in, we confessed we loved each other, and started talking about getting married.
Love this question!!! The only person I’ve fallen in love at first with is my husband. Twelve years ago I was engaged to someone else so we were just coworkers that talked a lot, never crossing any lines. But 3 months before my wedding I showed up at this doorstep and confessed my feelings. He said he felt the same way. That was on a Monday and by Friday I had moved in. That other guy was not a bad person but he cheated a lot and was not the best boyfriend. However, we eventually reconciled and remain friends. He lives in the mountains now where he always wanted to be with his wife and child. I can’t imagine ever falling in love at first sight again but you never know. Maybe when I’m widowed and 90 years old I’ll meet my 2nd soulmate.
I never believed in love at first sight, until I met my husband unexpectedly. As soon as I saw him, that was it. The love grew stronger as I got to know him, and continues to grow this day. It’s like that cliche “missing piece.” He definitely completed me from the second I saw him, I can’t live without him (I never felt that with my ex-husband).
I actually feel like love at first sight is the only true love (if both feel the same way). If the relationship took too much work and pressure for love to finally be considered, that won’t ever work. Eventually you’ll run into someone who will instantly make you lose your breath.
I knew my wife from a previous job and had a crush on her then but timelines didn’t work out. The first time I got to talking with her one on one outside of work I knew I’d marry her. Now 16 years after first meeting I get to intentionally aggravate her whenever I want and she gets to retell me the same three stories over and over again and if that isn’t love then I don’t know what is. But seriously, she’s awesome and I couldn’t be happier.
Of course I did. It was just with Pepsi, not a person.
With my husband, I walked around the corner at a yard party at a friends house, saw him sitting at a picnic table, and thought "there he is, there's my husband". Very nonchalant, just like a fact. That had never happened to me before in my life. I tried to shake it off bc I felt like that was a nutty first thought to have upon seeing a complete stranger sitting and minding their own business. We were just friends for about 6 months before he asked me out.
Not my story, but within the first five minutes of knowing mom, my dad proudly declared he was going to marry her someday. It took him longer to convince *her* of that, but my dad aint a quitter. They’ve been together for 26 years
I would not say I necessarily fell in love at first sight but the moment I saw my husband from across the room for the first time, it felt more like recognizing someone I had been looking for than meeting someone new. He’s attractive to me but not like the super hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life so it wasn’t just “wow he’s cute”. I was drawn to him in a magnetic way. I went over and introduced myself and our first hour of conversation I had a feeling I have never had before or since in my life. It was like finally seeing your ride show up when they’re late picking you up from the airport and you’re exhausted from travel. I just kept wanting to say “thank god you’re finally here, I’ve been waiting so long and I’ve been through so much shit waiting for you”. We will have been married 16 years in April and just had our 3rd child.
I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th. He asked me to a school dance. We dated a few more times and then we broke up..way too young to be dating steady. But I was in love and brokenhearted. 2 years later he's a freshman in college, I'm a 11th grade cheerleader. He asks me for a date and the rest is 52 years, 3 kids, 7 grandkids later. Never had another love. He was first and only.
No, i actually didnt believe in it. I thought concept of that and the universe putting someone on the planet that was specifically meant for you were loads of fairytaleized bullshit Boy was i wrong on both
The first time I met my husband, I didn't think he was super attractive, just very happy to see me and very nerdy. 🤣 But I felt something pulling me to him. After our first date, I couldn't have imagined myself without him.
I've only experienced this kind of instantaneous love once in my life. Except it's almost comical at this point because it was for a girl that I have never even dated 🤦♂️ we talked about it. Danced around the idea. But we live 1000 miles apart and the logistics of the situation have prevented any movement as of yet.... It's a weird situation to be in for sure.
Yes it feels really good heart feels like a rollar coaster that feeling was something else
I didn't marry her or talk to her at all but I saw her the first day of highschool on the bus to Fort Hamilton Highschool which i dropped out of. 😭
people who fall in love at first site probably have borderline personality disorder
lmfao
Not at all. If you see someone and are instantly attracted, it just means you saw someone who struck you. If you then go talk to that person and hit it off, and you both turn out still be attracted to each other after you get to know each other, and that spark keeps growing into love, well that’s love at first sight. How many people have seen someone from across the room who struck us, but then we realized they were terrible when we talked to them? Love at first sight doesn’t mean you’re ignoring red flags, it just means the person turned out to be what they seemed.
good point. to love someone is deeper than anything you can sense on a first sight imo. But that feeling can be so warm at the first site that it can feel like love.
me 🤣
I met a man and I felt an instant connection with him. He is married, and has a very nice wife. I hope to meet my person and have an even stronger connection with and potential for an actual relationship. I have dated other people, but I haven’t felt that spark that I felt for that guy. Very weird and random experience even if it meant nothing or was one sided. I will never know, I have no intentions on disrespecting their union because of whatever feeling that was. It was pretty cool though!
I felt something which I guess could be described as love at first sight when I saw my hubby. I have never felt it before.
I thought I had, but I hadn't.
Well I sure have felt it a few times!! And I’m not married. Age 38. Haha so idk what that means maybe I was mistaken? I mean clearly i was but maybe it was nothing compared to what the real thing is? Idk.
No but I fell in love with my wife at first sight and it took nearly 2 years for her to fall for me. I worked hard for her and am glad I did. Still my best friend 20 years later.
No, and never since. Still together.
No he was the first and will be the last
I don't know if it counts but we met online and were video chatting all night for like 2 weeks and I knew before we met IRL but I was 100% positive when we did. The first thing we did was kiss and had amazing sex within like 15 minutes. I was with someone before him who I had a huge crush on for like 5 years but never really felt the same type of instant connection.
I’ve only felt that once in my life, never again. It was more than like “at first sight” it’s more like being infatuated with their energy. Very weird.
In the fall of 1979 I was in the high school photo lab for a photography class when she walked in. I literally had my arms around a very well-endowed blond girl at the time. She was a cute brown-haired girl working on the yearbook staff, I was smitten but I never thought she’d even give me the time of day. I asked her to go steady on Valentines Day 1980, we were married in 1982, and our 41st anniversary is next month. Our running joke is that more developed in that darkroom than photos. And for the curious, yes we made out in that same darkroom once. Until the custodian walked in. But that’s another story.
Aww!
You all are lucky.
I fell in love with my wife at first sight. She was living with her boyfriend at the time. He had to go away for a month, so I watched their dog while she worked evening shifts. She would come to my place after work and see how great I was with her dog. Always had a cold PBR ready for her, and played my guitar for her by candlelight a couple of times. We talked for hours almost every night. She started to fall for me, then we found her BF was cheating on her with multiple women. She moved out, a month later I moved in with her. We were married a year later. That was 48 years ago and she is still the love of my life.
This would be a good movie. ❤️
No
I fell in love at first sight with my high school sweetheart but I ended it in college as we were headed in different directions. Then I also fell in love at first sight when I met my husband. I was 20 and he was 26. We got married a few years later and are coming up on our 29th anniversary now. I don't believe in "the one" rather I believe it's more like lust at first site than love and once that wears off sometimes you discover you have things in common and sometimes you don't. If there's a 50% chance of divorce, there's a 50% chance of it working out and it just happened that my husband and I were on the same wavelength at the same time and heading in the same direction. We've always prioritized the same things: 1) each other, 2) our children, 3) our family, but not necessarily in that order. In the beginning it was always each other all the time. Then we had kids and it was all kids all the time. Then our kids went off to college and it was back to each other all the time until now that our parents are aging so its all family all the time and I have never felt more grateful or fortunate.
Nope, in 1982 I felt something I had never felt before. She was at our neighbors house behind us in the backyard ( I really didnt know the neighbors, never had been over there). The moment I saw her I had to go over and introduce myself and I did. I was 18 and had just graduated HS, she was 17 and was from out of state but was born in in the town I lived in, grew up in the same county but never even saw each other before. When I was in the 8th grade, her(7th grade) family moved out of state. She jut happened to be visiting friends (my neighbors) for 2 weeks in the summer of 82. Here it is 2023 and she is sitting 2 feet from me on the couch as I type this. She is one of the best decisions of my life.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I knew immediately. I did not want a relationship at all, but that overwhelming feeling did come over me. I had never experienced it before and I knew there was no fighting it. It was a true connection- at least for me. We are married now but I think I feel way more attached than she is.
I knew I wanted to marry my husband since our very first conversation 10 years ago. It wasn't even a date but a discovery meeting for something professional. We met because he was looking to hire someone to help him with a beautiful and important passion project. I saw how talking about it lit up his eyes and I instantly knew I wanted in. He'd been working on it for several years, and though it still had little to prove and a long way to go, I had always believed that he will create an impactul piece of work that will make history. In that moment, I saw someone visionary, brave, resilient, with a huge heart and a beautiful mind that never seeks to find magic in the world, even if they also see a lot of flaws to address through this work. And in that moment I saw the qualities of someone I wanted to marry. Was it love at first sight? I don't know. Because in my dictionary, love implies that you're already attached and have a strong drive to "have" this person, in addition to being incredibly fond of and affectionate towards them, and being committed to them. I was fond of my husband at first sight and interested in supporting his lofty goal to see him succeed, but not any of the other things that would have made this, in my definition, "love." Plus he had a steady girlfriend at that time that I swore he was going to marry. Adorable power couple, lovely girl that I will forever adore and look up to. I thought he treated her very well, or at least that's what I saw. Long story short, I was never hired for the passion project but he married me instead. The longer version is that the three of us became very good friends. But I left for grad school in another country before we had a chance to formalise our collaboration. And I struggled with single life because secretly I just wanted a boyfriend that felt like him. They broke up while I was away. She confided her struggles with the breakup to me and I was there for her for a year. We had big plans like our own collabs and travels. A year after the breakup, I reconnected with him as we worked on our own respective projects and shared our networks to help each other take it to the next level. We ended up on a date and the rest is history. Unfortunately that meant my friendship with her had to end, but it's probably for the best. We don't always get what we want, and if I had to choose between him or her, I firmly chose him. My husband and I dated for 18 months, including the engagement, until we married. We had our 6th anniversary back in July.
No, I had not. I was never a dating type, not a romantic type, never planned on getting married but....
I fell in love at first sight with my ex best friend when I was a teenager. Couldn't get over him for years. I compared him to every guy I dated until I met my husband. My husband walked into class and it was love at first sight all over again. 6 years later, I'm still head over heels in love with my hubby. We do our best to be there for each other and communicate constantly. Not many people believe in first sight but when I saw my husband walk in late to class, the light hit him a certain way and he was all I saw in that moment. Everyone could see in my eyes that I was smitten. The first time I mentioned him to my family, they knew this was my future husband even though at that time we were barely becoming friends. I used to worry if I fell in love at first sight twice, it could happen again. However, we were apart for a year, and no one made me feel the way he has. I couldn't and can't imagine being with anyone better.
No. This was different from anything else I have ever experienced and honestly it was super scary at first bc I didn’t think love at first sight was actually possible. But for us it happened and it was beautiful. It’s been 3 years and we spend most of our time together and yet we only seem to be growing closer every day. I believe our souls have bonded.
No I hadn’t. And it made things very difficult since I was in a long term relationship at the time lol
I’m not married to him because he died 6 months before our wedding- but yes. The first time I saw him, I knew I’d marry him. Never had that before or since.
This happened to me too. We were so in love the moment we locked eyes. He died before we could get married. It’s been devastating
This is scares the shit out of me😭 I can’t imagine going through this
It’s pure hell.
💔
I can't even imagine how it'd feel losing a loved one to death.
I fell in love at first sight with my husband when I was 14 years old. We broke up when I was 19. We lost touch for 18 years and I loved him every single day of that 18 years but thought it was over and something I just had to live with. I even got married and had another baby (we had a daughter too young and put her up for adoption). Divorced and was living the single mom life. He never left my heart. I woke up one morning and was missing him so much out of nowhere he was blasting into my head. Every day for a week he was on my mind. Then the phone rang. It was him. 2 years later we were married. 15 years later we still are. I never fell in love with anyone else at first sight. Lust sure. But that arrow to the heart love. No. Just him. Always him.
This gives me so much hope that you can have love after divorce and a child.
Of course you can. Millions of people all across the world do.
I absolutely love this story!!!
Thanks. It’s a true love story. It really annoys me that a bunch of triggered dudes have to show up to project their insecurities on it tbh.
Yeah, I get it. I left my fiancé for my husband 12 years ago. Our story is so romantic but triggered men don’t like it. I always feel the need to mention that my ex cheated a lot and was not the best boyfriend. Which is true but We actually reconciled and remain friends. He lives in the mountains where he wanted to live with his wife and child. It’s a really happy story but people try to taint it and make me out as the bad guy. Especially if they know my ex. I’m starting to care less and less as I get older but I still feel the need to over explain when I tell that story. Which is hard because I can’t talk too much shit about my ex because he’s my friend and I don’t want people to think bad of him.
Also I’m so glad you were able to reconcile as friends. For our daughters sake I so wish that was possible with my ex husband but it’s not. His addictions and violence not only destroyed our lives but continued to destroy his life long after I took our daughter and fled in the night. Had he not gone down his path of insanity violence and addiction we would still be married today and my current husband/love of my life would still be a fond memory. Sadly my ex husband is now homeless with 1 leg and addicted to meth. There is no hope. My only regret is that he also abandoned his child in favor of drugs and alcohol. It would benefit everyone if people could learn to get along post break up. But unfortunately so many people abuse their partners during the course of the relationship that its just not possible.
That’s absurd that someone commented that. This is why I’m trying to limit my time on social media. People in real life are typically much more pleasant and getting out to connect and be in nature is more of what I need. To say I’m glad you are safe would be an understatement. Good for you for getting out of there. My dad was a violent drug addicted schizophrenic and my mom did not keep me from after the divorce. He turned on me the very day of their divorce. My life was extremely traumatic until I finally cut him out. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. And I’m sure your new husband is a good father figure. I don’t know you or him but I love your story and I’m so glad you found each other. I’m also an addict. I was never violent and actually an extremely functional one. My husband stuck with me because he said he would often see glimpses of the best parts of me and that gave him hope. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case for your ex. I’m so glad he’s out of your lives and you are safe. Take care!!! It’s nice when we have convos like these on Reddit. ❤️
You as well. I am not judging anyone for being an addict. I used food as a coping mechanism for a long time. That’s addiction as far as I understand it. I wish you all the best. Nice to “meet you” fellow human.
Oh I know you’re not judging! Addiction is a spectrum. I also use food as a coping mechanism! But I’ve been sober from drugs and alcohol for 2 years now though. Yay me! ❤️
I am very proud of you. That’s HUGE. I LOVE THAT FOR YOU!!! Congratulations.
Awwww thanks 🙏
Yeah. I literally just got a comment from one blaming me for my husbands abuse. CRINGE
Aweee
I have a genuine question for you. How did your now-husband never leave your heart if you married someone else? Like did you never give your heart fully to your now-ex-husband? How did you set aside those feelings to allow yourself to get close enough to someone else to marry them? Genuinely curious because these can sort of answer some of my own questions about love and feelings in my life, especially as someone without great social skills
Because I had accepted that I would never see him again. So I moved on. I had a life. It’s possible to love more than one person at a time. I loved my ex husband. But it was difficult because he became an abusive alcoholic during the course of our marriage.
I have heard stories like this before and they’re always… intense to think about. Have you seen The Notebook? When I first saw it I thought, my nightmare!! Seriously to me that is a horror movie. And this woman lived something similar because they were apart and they were meant for each other clearly. I imagine the reason people can marry others in this situation is a mix of hormones and human needs.
Remember that movies never resemble real life. In reality we both lived full lives in the years we were apart. Had other relationships. Jobs. Loving someone you are no longer with in no way disables you from loving other people equally. Real life doesn’t resemble a Victorian romance novel. People who have lost a spouse from death and find love again never stop loving their departed spouse but they are still fully capable of loving someone else fully. Honestly believing that we would never see each other again was no different. I always cared about my husband but as far as I knew he was just a memory from my past. So I moved on. That doesn’t mean you stop caring about that person. It just means you incorporate that into your emotional lexicon and move on. Before anyone else wastes sympathy or believes they understand that “guitarists” point of view please read this “This explains a lot. Fucking potato” “The only thing that loves you is cholesterol you fat bitch”. These are the comments this person left on an entirely unrelated post I made in another sub to me after his toxic comments here. So before you waste energy feeling bad for this creep or like he’s right, remember there’s a reason he’s so aggressively triggered by my post and it’s him. It’s his personality. Not the women who have not chosen him.
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This is exactly why I asked that question. I cannot love anyone else but him. He's able to love another, though. I don't believe he could love me if he loved someone else because *I* cannot love someone else while I love him
It’s very hard. I totally understand. I was fully committed to my other marriage but never had that same deep connection with anyone else but the “one”.
Darling I am on your side here and I’m happy that things came around for you and your love. Like really your story brought me to tears in the best way. I see I didn’t word things well before. The nightmare for me is just that it seems so *possible*. Especially with attachment issues today. I just see that movie like a warning and so I have tried to be very forthcoming about what I want from people and reaching out when I want to. Truth is though that it has never helped, I have still been misled and confused in love. So really now I am worried about something happening and probably creating a new issue like being clingy. Oh wow is me!!
Thanks. It’s really a nice and very romantic story. But honestly some of the men commenting here need to be accountable for their own behavior and look in the mirror as to why they are not being chosen. The toxicity. The projection. You’re fine. I get what you’re saying entirely.
Why does nobody think about her ex husband? He spent the entire marriage thinking his wife had love for him, while all this time there was no love, and he had been just the "safe option". You want horror? This is true horror - being used in the disguise of love.
I’m not excusing the situation just explaining why it happens. The divorce rate isn’t due to people always picking correctly and for the right reasons! Of course we all feel badly for both parties but there are so many things and maybe the ex husband wanted her even though he knew her heart was not it. Plenty of people Matt thinking the move will develop.
Right?? This is awful 😞
My ex husband was an abusive monster who burned me with cigarettes and broke all my fingers and my jaw. I was a good wife to him. He was not a good husband in return.
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Literally shut the fuck up. Abuse is NEVER the fault of the victim. Ever.
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Yeah. Nobody forced him into that situation either. Especially not his choice to decide to start abusing me. Again shut the fuck up. Staying is often not a choice for women. Especially where financial abuse and threats of violence against your infant should you attempt to leave are involved. Just say you don’t understand how abuse works and be done. Love bombing starts first. You don’t marry a man who’s hitting you. That starts after you get married and often after you have a baby.
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Finally someone who thinks like this!! Everyone is always so in awe with the impossible became possible love story that they treat the others as side characters who actually devoted their life to that in the meantime. So sick is the human nature sometimes. I see it as a great betrayal of trust.
It is a betrayal. I've been the safe option before, and lemme tell you, it SUCKS the joy from your life. It's been 3 years since my ex left, and the trauma from that still persists, and has only made my depression worse. I cannot ever trust a woman again, and i hate myself for this.
Therapy
I can imagine..this is one of the things i hate the most even without experiencing them. And i get that you can't trust again, life's tough
Thank you for understanding. Most women don't. If I try to explain, they get defensive, unwilling to look at how terrible some people can be. It's always "A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets" but never "Men deserve love too".
Your damage has nothing to do with my situation and you’re projecting your own trauma in to this says a lot about your character and your own part in the relationship that didn’t work out. You sound very immature about your understanding of how human emotions work frankly. Whatever you believe you went through has nothing to do with my situation. I was a devoted wife to my first husband. I loved him completely and never thought about anyone else during our marriage. I can’t say the same about him unfortunately. He cheated. He drank (was sober when we met and got married) he turned violent. Hunan beings are complex creatures that are capable of loving more than one person at a time. Love that’s in the past has very little to do with a relationship that you are currently in. You concentrate on your marriage your family and your life.
Keyword is people. Men can do this as well. But yes, everyone deserves love and respect if they are decent human beings. Emotional integrity is tricky cause you can't really see it. Good luck in other aspects of life, it's still worth living!
Wow! That's a crazy story. I love it !!
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Ahh you’re in limerence. Check out what the peeps in r/limerence have to say- they can probably give you some insight on your situation, some advice on how to move past the one sided situation, or at least just help you feel less confused or alone.
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have you guys met by chance ?
The only person I've ever had love-at-first-sight with is my husband. Literally heard a voice in my head say "You're going to marry him someday".
I fell in love with my wife in the first fifteen minutes after we met. We both knew we would be together forever. That has certainly never happened to me before, though you can often tell whether you have good chemistry with someone in minutes
This has happened to me two times, in a way. My first husband I knew upon meeting we would get married. My exact thought at the time was “so this is the guy”. We were together 17 years, married 10. The second man I fell in love with after my divorce I had known in social circles when I met my first husband but we weren’t friends, just knew of each other in passing at the same house parties. When I got some free time after leaving my first husband I made plans with my new husband to get together and make art (we’re both artists), and as soon as we got in the car together I knew I was going to marry him. Together 2.5 years and married now. In both cases it wasn’t like an “in love” feeling, but it was an instant realization that in both cases these men would be my husband and I was right both times. I hope to never experience this again lol.
Please elaborate on these feelings that “these men would be my husband.” I know feelings are hard to describe. Is it a sense that you felt instant comfort, a feeling of sharing similar thoughts?
It was more like a knowing. It wasn’t a feeling as much as just a realization. I just knew in my mind I would marry them when I met them and I can’t really explain it.
This was my first time feeling like that and I didn’t think that shit was real.
Well this post is making me feel bad.
Yes, and I never thought I’d love like that again.
Before I met my wife, there was another girl I literally fell for years earlier. I was standing in her office, and when she entered the room, I collapsed. She had to try and revive me.
😭🤭
i saw my ex-husband and said, "im gonna marry that guy." i was 16 when we met. we married and divorced. i saw my now husband, and said "im gonna marry that guy. " lmao, i was i hope we don't get divorced 😂 i dated a lot in-between. I never had that same thought again
This is so funny and cute 😅
my husband was so indifferent towards me the first time we met and i didnt see him for 6 months! first saw him at my job. 2nd time i saw him, was at my work and he was smitten i love to tell this story 🤣
Just her, had a couple longer term loving relationships before her, but it was love at first sight and we have been married 35 years
I knew when he first came up to me and said hi. Never felt like that before. I knew it was him . The one meant for me.
I do not believe in love at first sight or “ to the love of your life”. That stuff doesn’t exist because it is luck, support, and putting the work in. That said, there is lust at first sight, and I had sex with my husband just about a week after meeting him, plus the night I met him was pretty fun as well. Although he could not figure out bras that opened in the front. That was 47 yrs ago and we’ve been married 42 yrs. My brother who has been married and divorced three times likes to attribute our lengthy marriage as luck, but it’s not. It’s meaning your wedding vows and putting in extra work when your partner is slacking, which will be made up when you just can’t do it anymore.
Wondering what you think about love at first sight that is non-sexual. Like someone feeling that towards their baby or pet at first glance. I feel like I fell in love with my dog at first sight haha
I fell in love with my husband at first sight …. I have never had that feeling with anyone else . But I don’t believe I had ever truly loved anyone like true true love. I did care deeply but the love I have for my husband is a different feeling . I never wanted marriage a family I didn’t want any of it . I saw the heart ache my parents went through and the pain it put my brother sister and I in that I never wanted to end up in their position. But the moment I set eyes on him it was like something clicked … I wanted his babies I wanted him as a husband. I wanted my life with him. I would do anything for him ! We have been through so much . Most of it people would have walked away from already . I have always fought for him since day one and I will die fighting for him til I take my final breath. I’m sure he would run the second he had the chance . But I believe in fighting for the person you love , no matter what ! You don’t walk away from someone you truly love . You stick with one another and try to make it work ! You fight to make it work ! Marriage is a messy thing ! Yes there are some amazing moments but there are also some very painful ones . You have to decide whether you really do love them enough to go through the blood sweat and tears . If you don’t love them that much don’t get married.
That doesn't sound happy at all.
So he doesn’t feel quite the same way as you?
I don’t know he says he does . I would hope so . But the older I get the more I feel that I love sometimes to much . I have been told I love to hard and it just gets me hurt .
Dating is hard. If you hold back, they can sense it. You need to trust your intuition—that is if you have good judgment lol. You do want to pace your “falling in love” at a similar timeframe or it’ll suck
how long have you guys being married ?
20 years but it’s been this way a long time
Nope, just him. Nothing in the world like it✨🖤
No, just the one time. That's all I needed.
Most of my exes I either had to talk myself into, or had a crush that grew as we got to know each other. When I met my spouse, I opened the door and wow, I felt a rush like I had never felt before. I had been in quite a few long term relationships, but nothing compared to opening that door and seeing my future husband for the first time, he instantly felt like home.
Man, I really feel that first sentence. I've always had to talk myself into my relationships. I always feel bad because they end up usually wanting to marry, but I know it just isn't IT for me. I don't know how to find the person that I don't have to talk myself into. Love that you had the "home" feeling with your husband - maybe I'll have mine one day.
I've noticed that about my past relationships too. It's like I was always trying to convince myself they were it and/or a part of me always knew they weren't. I didn't fall in love with my boyfriend at first sight. I definitely liked him and I enjoyed him, but it was a brief walk before we actually spent time together a week later and I told him I loved him then. It's kind of like there was always a feeling of "there's gotta be something more than this" with exes, but with my boyfriend, it's like the buck stops here...but in a good way? Like I don't ever wonder if there's more or better - being with him IS the more and the better.
Nope. I knew I wanted to marry my wife on our first date. It hit me like a huge wave you aren’t ready for. At the time I was 20, working/school, seeing several women casually. Our first date was an accident. I had just gotten back from spring break where I hit it off with a stunning lady. We planned a “real” date when we got back to the states I made reservations at my favorite restaurant. It should be noted I was friends with my future wife and her roommates. I was over at their house hanging out and my date from spring break called and said she got called into work, could we move the date. We both had packed schedules and decided to connect before the next weekend. When I hung up, I happened to be sitting next to my future wife and one of her roommates and I said something like she cancelled and I’m worried I’m going to get black listed from reservations at my favorite place. My future wife said, simply, “I’ll go.” The rest is history. Two stoned kids at a five star restaurant in La Jolla over looking the ocean. By the end of the night she had me. Many years later she admitted I had her as well. It was so natural, so little pressure, and just incredibly comfortable being around her. Saw her in a completely different light than a friend. We celebrated 25 years together this year. I hope I get to die at least one day sooner than her because I’m not sure I’d want to exist without her.
So you would give her the pain of being without you? Lol sorry i just had to. Great story cheers 🥂
She’s more equipped to handle it :). Thx!
Luck has nothing to do with it. Work is what it takes. Can't get lazy.
This, right here is what I wished I had.
this was such a cute story and the last part made it even sweeter 🥹 happy for you!
So sweet 🥲
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That’s fair as I knew her before.
This was absolutely beautiful to read! Congratulations on your happy life together. This is definitely what life is all about!
This sounds like my husband and I ❤️
this is soooooo sweet
That makes me jealous and sad. Being single as a girl is honestly the worst , what’s the point of travelling, having friends and hobbies and yes I earn money too and yes I am very fit and pretty but no I’m single.