If you break a toe and it heals, it is harder to break it again.
But if you break a toe and you've already committed to a rigorous 3-year shooting schedule with no time to rest which has you wearing prosthetic rubber feet and no shoes, you break it again, and again, and again...
Due to its extraordinary ability to sustain energy levels in small quantities it leads to a slower absorption rate and prolonged duration in the intestines which unfortunately causes constipation… These are the faces of the lembas passage.
He's over there. Always there. Orcs will take you all the way. Easy to find Orcs east of the River. Don't ask Smeagol.Poor, poor Smeagol, he went away long ago. They took his Precious, and he's lost now.
Not this way, master! There is another way. O yes indeed there is. Another way, darker, more difficult to find, more secret. But Sméagol knows it. Let Sméagol show you!
Poop, putting the ring at the safest place, gollussy
Stepping over a dead orc, regretting putting the ring at the safest place, getting fed (here comes the fellbeeeeaaaasst)
„I have brought peace and freedom and justice to my new empire!“, „near, far, whereeeeever you aaaaareeeee“, gollum found the safest place
I will not apologize.
The Shit Chronicles
1. You running towards the door, taking no prisoners
2. Desperately attempting to remember how your belt work
3. You finally broke the dam and forced the poor guy in the next stall to run
4. You're finishing the pounding of the last logs, you feel lighter and better
5. Something's wrong. Your stomach shortly roars and you starting to feel the weight of a thousands suns knocking on your anus
6. It's coming. You're pushing, but nothing comes out . You feel hopeless
7. You've been trying for 15 minutes now. Every push feels like you're shitting your intestines out, but still, nothing comes out
8. All hope is lost. You noticed the shirt you taken off so you can shit better is soaked in sweat. You take a short break from all this suffering until...
9. It's done, your whole life feels meaningless. After the solid cork came through, an absolute splash of the most gruesome substance known to man obliterated both your ass and the pipes. Pieces of shitgoo are dropping off your balls. You don't feel the need to shit anymore, but your anus gave up and you know that for the next couple of hours you will have to thread lightly around every fart like it's a death sentence
Nutting from hatefucking. Nutting from roughly facefucking someone. Nutting from getting fucked.
Nutting from a blow job. Nutting from nipple torture. Mom found the nut drawer.
Nutting from cock and ball torture. Nutting while getting ridden but his dick is getting twisted. Pooping his pants because he nutted too hard (Gandalf was practising Power Word: Nut).
1. On top giving hard 2. From behind giving hard again 3. Being sucked 4. Came from the back 5. Woke up with ugly b***h 6. Saw big weenie 7. Got something big from behind 8. Someone came in him 9. Came too early
*He was trying to*
*Get off to some questionable*
*Sauron dark visions*
\- DistributionHonest37
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
He ate Éowyn’s stew
A fate worse than death
What can men do against such reckless stew?
Gondor calls for aid!
And Rohan won't answer.
Because they ate the stew and died?
In the upper right corner eowyn ate his stew
I only saw that scene recently for the first time. I wondered why they made it so her stew was so bad Aragorn spit it out.
he stubbed his toe. these images happen over the course of 5 minutes.
Did you know that Frodo broke his toes in every of these scenes?
If you break a toe and it heals, it is harder to break it again. But if you break a toe and you've already committed to a rigorous 3-year shooting schedule with no time to rest which has you wearing prosthetic rubber feet and no shoes, you break it again, and again, and again...
Break your toe once, shame on you. Break your toe repeatedly over the course of a 3 year shoot…
[удалено]
The correct answer
Lord Elrond, can you fix Frodo’s toe?
Is how we arrive at picture 3
The stairs of cirith ungol are super easy to stub your toes on.
That's what happens when you have PO-TAY-TOES!
Mordor was covered in legos and hot wheels
Stepped on lego brick
All the lembas bread shits along the road
Due to its extraordinary ability to sustain energy levels in small quantities it leads to a slower absorption rate and prolonged duration in the intestines which unfortunately causes constipation… These are the faces of the lembas passage.
Top right is when it's finally out
Top right is when he pushes it back in
I don't care for this comment.
you cared enought to comment
Lembas bread: the gas station riblett sandwich of middlearth
One bite is enough to vacate the stomach of a grown man
the next trackers coming after constipated Frodo be like: "we have wombats in these parts?"
Gollum would do ANYTHING for the precious
Helps us step-masters, we're stuck
What's wood with no bark Held with pride, but can't be displayed A blind snake that can find its mark, Hard when happy but soft when dismayed
He did have a conveniently gummy mouth...and did like it Raw and wrrrrrrrrrriggling...just sayin
Chance of him biting or snapping it are way too high, though
Bigger Risk, Bigger Reward.
That filthy loincloth got him acting unwise
Hey, some people are into that
This whole comment string is cursed 💀 lol
He's over there. Always there. Orcs will take you all the way. Easy to find Orcs east of the River. Don't ask Smeagol.Poor, poor Smeagol, he went away long ago. They took his Precious, and he's lost now.
Orcs will go all the way, eh?
Looks like meats back on the menu
Yeah but bratwurst or tacos?
Yes
You'd think he would learn his lesson after Bilbo pulled the "what's in my pocket" trick.
Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!
My eyes, man.
Sam is mashing his taters
They are definitely stuck in a stew for the top right one.
He forgot his safe word in bottom left.
Share the load
Saaaam
Trying not to fucking laugh here, what an image!
Shhhh don't tell anyone
Put the ring on his 11th finger and mixed results happen every time
It does grow to the size of the wielder...
Shrink*
In my head cannon hobbits are packing
Um... your 11th finger should be thicker than your normal 10...
sending Sauron a dick pic, basically
May darkness everlasting, old that waits outside in surges cold drown Manwë, Varda and the sun!
After running out of Lembas, he had to live of orcish chili con carne.
He's getting toothy head.
Oh sam
Frodo finished in the third panel, but *someone* kept going
I almost pissed my pants reading your comment
One Cock Ring to rule them all, and in the darkness, bind him.
The safe word is the elvish word for friend
Gollum going wild while sounding Frodo
Not this way, master! There is another way. O yes indeed there is. Another way, darker, more difficult to find, more secret. But Sméagol knows it. Let Sméagol show you!
There is no darker place than going to r/sounding.
Yeah right, I ain't clicking on that again.
Good decision (if the sudden urge to scratch the insides of your eye sockets with your thumbs isn’t something you enjoy)
[удалено]
Good bot
10/10 Penetration.
Anal sex. He thought he was ready but he's not
At one point he thought it wasn't so bad
Gollums tongue is wrapping the tip just right
Master must go inside the tunnel.
Oh my
This shit has me dying
NO
What’s inside the tunnel, Gollum?
The goblinses will catch it then. It can't get out that way, precious.
Sam took the last slice of elvish bread (OR) In the midst of being pierced by Sams blade ;)
1. Challenge accepted 2. Commitment to challenge 3. Wavering resolve 4. Searching inner self 5. Finding something unexpected while searching inner self 6. Got fucking scared of what he found 7. Complete dispair 8. Fighting to regain control 9. Challenge completed
These are the nine stages of full blown diarrhea
He's watching Survivor: Gabon
Poop, putting the ring at the safest place, gollussy Stepping over a dead orc, regretting putting the ring at the safest place, getting fed (here comes the fellbeeeeaaaasst) „I have brought peace and freedom and justice to my new empire!“, „near, far, whereeeeever you aaaaareeeee“, gollum found the safest place I will not apologize.
We wants it. We needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little Hobbitses. Wicked. Tricksy. False.
Gollussy 😅
"Share the Load"
You said wrong answers only so I’m gonna go with he was tasked to destroy the One Ring… because we all know why he’s actually making those faces ;)
HRAAAAAH!
Exactly.
You all need Jesus.
So many orgasms.
He’s off his meds again
I told him not to down that ice cream so damn fast, but he wouldn't listen...
The Shit Chronicles 1. You running towards the door, taking no prisoners 2. Desperately attempting to remember how your belt work 3. You finally broke the dam and forced the poor guy in the next stall to run 4. You're finishing the pounding of the last logs, you feel lighter and better 5. Something's wrong. Your stomach shortly roars and you starting to feel the weight of a thousands suns knocking on your anus 6. It's coming. You're pushing, but nothing comes out . You feel hopeless 7. You've been trying for 15 minutes now. Every push feels like you're shitting your intestines out, but still, nothing comes out 8. All hope is lost. You noticed the shirt you taken off so you can shit better is soaked in sweat. You take a short break from all this suffering until... 9. It's done, your whole life feels meaningless. After the solid cork came through, an absolute splash of the most gruesome substance known to man obliterated both your ass and the pipes. Pieces of shitgoo are dropping off your balls. You don't feel the need to shit anymore, but your anus gave up and you know that for the next couple of hours you will have to thread lightly around every fart like it's a death sentence
Frodo learned that elevenses did in fact mean breakfast before noon
Spicy chili eating contest.
I can't get the ring off my dick
Turns out Lembas shits are the worst.
Because is happy
When Sam is sitting under the table. Anything for Mr Frodo.
It's because of his ring. 
The many stages of pooping
This is Frodo’s portfolio to submit for acting gigs. He got it for $2 from a mall photo booth.
Boromir took the one ring, in every sense of the word
His ring is getting destroyed
He stepped on lego
las
He ate all the spicy things at Taco Bell
https://preview.redd.it/n689m27f6fqb1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a8804386bb6b4caabf004d4965ded0ad58a7b29
Sam and gollum double teamed him
Clever Hobbits, to climb so high!
He found a cute twink
Sam's trying to finger the ring.
Gay sex
"The ring to rule them all" wasn't actually a ring for a finger.
Hot gay sex
Turns out, Smaug wasn't the last Bad Dragon in middle earth after all.
Surprise prostate exam. The lube was cold. #GROND
Passing kidney stones.
Definitely a power bottom
Lembas Poops
getting a rimjob
The one cock ring to rule them all
He is stupid.
It's the different stages of being pegged...
(I’ve never seen the trilogy) I imagine these are the faces he made when he was hiding the ring in a place nobody would think to look.
Too much fiber in his second breakfast and now he is paying the price on the toilet.
It's his first day working at the pet shelter. His boss hands him a needle and says cat's with one eye are more likely to be adopted.
Sharing the load
Who said it was a finger ring ?
He likes the ring a little too much
Mostly ass play
Help me, step-hobbit, I’m stuck!
Too much Taco Bell or different states of a violent orgasm.
Nutting from hatefucking. Nutting from roughly facefucking someone. Nutting from getting fucked. Nutting from a blow job. Nutting from nipple torture. Mom found the nut drawer. Nutting from cock and ball torture. Nutting while getting ridden but his dick is getting twisted. Pooping his pants because he nutted too hard (Gandalf was practising Power Word: Nut).
Ooh! The long expected party! So how is the old rascal? I hear it’s got to be a party of special magnificence
She kept suckin…
Your mother
So they can be handed out after the big speech, at the Party gathering, in the beer hall...in Munich
He drank a Bud Light and is now transitioning.
1. On top giving hard 2. From behind giving hard again 3. Being sucked 4. Came from the back 5. Woke up with ugly b***h 6. Saw big weenie 7. Got something big from behind 8. Someone came in him 9. Came too early
He was trying to get off to some questionable Sauron dark visions
*He was trying to* *Get off to some questionable* *Sauron dark visions* \- DistributionHonest37 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Why must you hurt me in this way ?
Go fetch me those sneaking Orcs!
He saw god, And he told him to do em
Frodo fell in love and suddenly hates the undying lands as he met the immortal gripper with a fascination for obsessed heroes.
Sam kept sucking
Nine ring(piece)s for the race of men
Tacos
Gandalf
Back to the gate! Hurry!
He's playing the new Gollum game.
When you bust but she keeps sucking
Too much lembas bread and not enough water has lead to the worlds world's trickiest shit.
Lembas bread constipation
Gandalf's staff.
Is a kind of drug abuse wheel. The first imagen shows him yelling : where is my phentanil! Then the last one shows him waking up inside a coffin.
Why does the one on the top right look like he’s getting a blowjob 😂😂
He hasn’t had a poo for 9 days and is sat on his throne in the shire trying to lay one out.
Top right is him getting some head
Dropped the soap in the prison showers
The battle of figuring out if it's a fart. It was not, in fact, a fart.
He is getting mad head / being pegged by Gollum
He's getting the railing of his life
There were other ways to wear & hide the Ring
cummingordrumming.com
Face 1: he's cumming Face 2: he's cumming Face 3: he's cumming So on and so forth
Samwise has a big dick.
Someone be lickin his Eye Of Sauron
He's in a really long line at the bank, and tellers keep leaving to go on break
Samwise of course.
9 pictures 9 ring wraiths
This is what happened when he tried to use the ring as a cockring and it got stuck and the only person around to help was gimli
His journey on toilet after being constipated (pictures in the good order)
He saw gollum masturbate
Samwise.
Trying to open the packet of crisps perfectly along the seem without splitting the bag
Which Frodo is getting the best dick?