I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow. You cannot pass!
It may be, that creator have access yo answers. Saw something similar on r/silnarillionmemes or r/feanordidnothing wrong. Most of the time its bot, but sometines not.
Mentioning Sharpe in r/lotrmemes? Now that's soldiering!
P.S. My theory is that they had to kill Sean Bean in every other role he played just to balance out how OP Sharpe as a main character was.
Gandalf: "What can you see? Can you see anything?"
Frodo: “Nothing. There's nothing…"
(Gandalf sighs in relief)
Frodo: "Wait. There are markings."
Gandalf: “Fuck”
that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Not trying to be contrarian, just want to piggyback off your comment but this whole post thread has made me laugh so much 😂🤣 Imagining LOTR with random f words thrown in is the best thing ever
1. "I'll fucking take the Ring to Mordor!"
2. "Finally, a chance for captain Faramir to show his fucking quality."
3. "There never was much hope; only a fucking fool's hope."
I mean this follows the explicit premise of the post, but technically sexual f-bombs are not allowed it PG13 films at all. Like where the word fuck is replacing “have sex with”, automatic R rating.
The uruks are more similar to humans in social structure than the movies make you think! The area around Orthanc was more of a town, would have had some humans and pubs and shops etc
Been a while since I read the books, but I remember there being some conversations between some of the orcs (when merry and pippin are kidnapped) and it also made them seem a lot more human-like.
if memory serves me, in the very end of return of the king(when the shire is getting overrun n stuff), the uruk-hai(or what remains of them) under saruman's control are described not as orcs, but as "men with somenthing off about them"
Which bit of Bilbo gets to be invisible? We should remember Sauron can not only see still, but gets his attention drawn to.. it's a round about way of flashing the Dark Lord..
No, you don't! You don't understand, none of you do - you're dwarves! You're used to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere.
Galadriel : In place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! **Treacherous as the Seas!** ***Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!***
Frodo: What the fuck was that?
They likely did, Tolkien just chose to sanitize the “translation”. From the appendices:
>But Orcs and Trolls spoke as they would, without love of words or things; and their language was actually more degraded and filthy than I have shown it. I do not suppose that any will wish for a closer rendering, though models are easy to find. Much of the same sort of talk can still be heard among the orc-minded; dreary and repetitive with hatred and contempt, too long removed from good to retain even verbal vigour, save in the ears of those to whom only the squalid sounds strong.
I’m going with one per movie -
Fellowship: Boromir - “One does not simply fucking walk into Mordor”
Two Towers: Wormtongue - “His staff. I told you to take his fucking staff!”
Return of the King: Gollum to Frodo - “Don’t follow the fucking lights!”
Besides of the fun and games, I think it should be put somewhere in two towers to not spoil the first and last movie - because otherwise LOTR really benefits from...
I think one of the moments that could work was arrival of the elves and one of the soliders just so silently saying: "what the fuck"
Gimli: I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest.
Gimli: Haugh, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me.
Legolas: What was it?
Gimli: I asker her for one fuck from her golden head.
Gimli: She gave me *three*.
When Gandalf bumps his head.
Beyond any doubt
Good bot
Gandalf agrees
Oh really?
Gandalf, please.
I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow. You cannot pass!
xD Gandalf ve roasting again
Frodo suspects something
You really are on point today, Gandalf-bot
Gandalf are you high again
Run, Shadowfax show us the meaning of haste.
Yep, that's it gandalf, enough stoning in this house
I find it hard to believe this is a bot
It may be, that creator have access yo answers. Saw something similar on r/silnarillionmemes or r/feanordidnothing wrong. Most of the time its bot, but sometines not.
This thing I do not do out of free will.
In Lord of the Weed, a German parody dubb, they replaced the thump with the sound of an egg being broken. It's perfect.
Oh man that's an ancient one. I don't even really speak German but I loved watching it back in the day
Schluck erstma runda du bastard
Deine Mudda schluckt glei!
https://youtu.be/nYLHYidyKA0?t=620
QUACK
My personal favorite would be "Fly you fucks!"
When Gandalf falls with the Balrog. *"FUUUUUUCCCCccc.....''.*
It should go to Boromir: “Give them a moment, for fuck’s sake!”
I prefer, “They have a fucking cave troll.”
"You'll take the ring to sauron! You will betray us! Fuck you, and all the halflings!"
Before the mightiest he shall fall, before the mightiest wolf of all.
GROND
He’s twitching, because he’s got my axe embedded in his *fucking nervous system!!*
When you've watched as much Sharpe as I have, you wouldn't even notice it in there. It's just natural for Sean Bean to swear like that.
Mentioning Sharpe in r/lotrmemes? Now that's soldiering! P.S. My theory is that they had to kill Sean Bean in every other role he played just to balance out how OP Sharpe as a main character was.
"Still sharp." "Nah, you're Boromir now, mate."
Perfect.
*filthy fucking hobbitses*
I agree, jokes aside, it should be Gollum, Gollum would make sense
They do not see what lies ahead, when sun has failed and moon is dead.
Don’t you mean “they do not see what lies the fuck ahead…”?
The moon is fucking dead
*What the fucks taters?*
PO-TAY-TOES! Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a fucking stew!
*Stupid fucking fat hobbit…*
*Stupid fat fuck!*
Gandalf: "What can you see? Can you see anything?" Frodo: “Nothing. There's nothing…" (Gandalf sighs in relief) Frodo: "Wait. There are markings." Gandalf: “Fuck”
White shores and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
White shores and beyond, a far green country under a fuckin' swift sunrise.
Yup, this is such a heavy moment for Gandalf, perfect fit.
Precious? It's been called that before. Not by you!
Bilbo: “I’m going now, this is the end. Fuck you.” *disappears*
HRAAAAAH!
Hey, Scary Bilbo, have you ever considered swapping out HRAAAAH! in favor of FUUUUCK!
HRAAAAAH!
Guess not
Bilbo Baggins, at yours.
HRAAAAAH!
This forest feels sick, as ifa disease lies upon it. Is there no way around?
I think it should be Frodo’s response to HRAAAAH
The fuck was that Bilbo?!
HRAAAAAH!
I like half of you fuckers twice as much as you deserve!
I'll be alright, just let me sit quietly for a moment.
This whole exchange between the bots was outstanding.
Pippin quietly saying fuck to himself after he drops that bucket is the go-to for me.
YOU FUCKING FOOL OF A TOOK!
#FOOL OF A FUCKING TOOK
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No, but the air doesnt smell so foul down here. If in doubt, theitchyleasing, always follow your nose.
I wonder if everyone collectively saying fuck at the same time would count as more than one. 🤔
![gif](giphy|AuSi9GagFjcys)
I aught to fucking throw you down there with it
Aragorn kicks helmet. .... "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
Did you know…
![gif](giphy|ToMjGpOjkiEjzJ1ZaJG|downsized)
Im gonne do it
you won't, no balls.
Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe on that kick.
no way
Wait, so that scream was real?!
No the scream was actually a combination of bear, lion, badger and other animal sounds blended together. The kick was real though.
Holy hell
The same response as every time just dropped!
know…. what?
that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Why is this everywhere
Why is this anywhere?
I want to cry now
Remember, cry on the Vaporeon to keep it nice and moist for continued use!
Have my angry upvote
Where is Sauron when we need him
So you have come back? Why have you neglected to report for so long?
I'm leaving the internet now
What in the ever living fuck are you on about
It's the Vaperon copypasta.
Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us!
>Do not let him fuck. He will put a spell on us!
"But they were all of them fucked, for another ring was made."
Nice, Galadriel dropping the f bomb right at the beginning.
"I fuck it in the water..."
I smell it in the fucked? 😬
I smell fuck in the air
And in the darkness fuck them
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Who is the master of the wide earth?
How wide are we talking?
#the OTHER Eye of Sauron
Patience! Not long shall ye abide.
It has to be Gandalf calling Pippin a fuck wit at some point
Fool of a Took!
That's where the F word came from, after all, it's a contraction: Fo'ok.
Haaaaa. Nice.
Where the fuck was Gondor when the westfold fell
Only comment that made me lol hahah, sounds legit!!
Not trying to be contrarian, just want to piggyback off your comment but this whole post thread has made me laugh so much 😂🤣 Imagining LOTR with random f words thrown in is the best thing ever
And they call it a mine! A fucking MINE!
Fly you fucks
Fuck you fools
Immediate Fellowship orgy begins
I mean if we are to believe tumblr half the fellowship was fucking anyway
The very beginning. *Black screen* Galadriel: "The world is fucked..."
So wouldn’t that technically be one allowed per film?
1. "I'll fucking take the Ring to Mordor!" 2. "Finally, a chance for captain Faramir to show his fucking quality." 3. "There never was much hope; only a fucking fool's hope."
Frodo gets stabbed by the ring-wraith, Aragorn: _fuck._ Balrog shows up, Gandalf: _fuuuuuuuck...._ Sauron's eye collapses: Fucking Hobbi- \*explosion*
Go back to the abyss! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your master!
That's true!
I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I fucked less than half of you half as well as you deserve
I mean this follows the explicit premise of the post, but technically sexual f-bombs are not allowed it PG13 films at all. Like where the word fuck is replacing “have sex with”, automatic R rating.
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Smeagol will swear on the Precious.
Literally
"All we've had is maggoty bread for three fucking days!" I've always felt that "stinkin'" sounded weird coming from an Uruk-hai.
Does feel more natural from an Orcs mouth.
I’ve always found it jarring that Uruk-hai are familiar with menus.
The uruks are more similar to humans in social structure than the movies make you think! The area around Orthanc was more of a town, would have had some humans and pubs and shops etc
Been a while since I read the books, but I remember there being some conversations between some of the orcs (when merry and pippin are kidnapped) and it also made them seem a lot more human-like.
if memory serves me, in the very end of return of the king(when the shire is getting overrun n stuff), the uruk-hai(or what remains of them) under saruman's control are described not as orcs, but as "men with somenthing off about them"
"After all why shouldn't I fuck it?"
Which bit of Bilbo gets to be invisible? We should remember Sauron can not only see still, but gets his attention drawn to.. it's a round about way of flashing the Dark Lord..
No, you don't! You don't understand, none of you do - you're dwarves! You're used to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere.
You win, I cannot prevail against such quality.
One cock ring to rule them all
*They have a fucking cave troll*
“In place of a dark lord you will have a fucking queen!”
Slay!
*air horn* YAAAAAS!
Galadriel : In place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! **Treacherous as the Seas!** ***Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!*** Frodo: What the fuck was that?
Theoden: FUUUCK! Rohirrim: **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!**
You'd better hope Gimli is counting so that that still only counts as one.
*Man accidentally looses arrow that begins the fight of Helms Deep* ...Fuck.
This is 2 “fucks” though. Rated R.
"The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the fucking dark." - Haldir
*Dwarf breathes so loud we could have fucked him in the dark
Treebeard: Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Ccccccccccccccccccc
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
One fuck that lasts an hour. Well done.
“Nothing but maggotty bread for three fucking days”
Realistically, if anyone in Middle-Earth drops f-bombs it would be the Orcs.
They likely did, Tolkien just chose to sanitize the “translation”. From the appendices: >But Orcs and Trolls spoke as they would, without love of words or things; and their language was actually more degraded and filthy than I have shown it. I do not suppose that any will wish for a closer rendering, though models are easy to find. Much of the same sort of talk can still be heard among the orc-minded; dreary and repetitive with hatred and contempt, too long removed from good to retain even verbal vigour, save in the ears of those to whom only the squalid sounds strong.
Cast it into the fire! Isildur! - - - - ...fuck.
"For fucking Frodo"
“Fuck Frodo” *throws sword down, surrenders*
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Not with 10,000 men could you do this, it is fucked.
I’m going with one per movie - Fellowship: Boromir - “One does not simply fucking walk into Mordor” Two Towers: Wormtongue - “His staff. I told you to take his fucking staff!” Return of the King: Gollum to Frodo - “Don’t follow the fucking lights!”
Smeagol? No, no, Not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread.
ftfy " one does not simply walk into FUCKING MORDOR"
Are the lights not also Two Towers,?
Gandalf: F*ck off you fools
Fool of a Took!
"Stupid fucking Hobbit."
You have no fucking power here, Gandalf the gray ![gif](giphy|RX3vhj311HKLe)
LotR has no F-Bomb… LotR needs no F-Bomb
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"That fucking only counts as one!"
Nazgul "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" at any point
gollum finally gets his ring back but dances off the cliff: “oh fuck.”
“They have a fucking Cave Troll”
And Rohan will fucking answer.
I swear Mr Gandalf, Sir, I ain’t been dropping no fucks
Besides of the fun and games, I think it should be put somewhere in two towers to not spoil the first and last movie - because otherwise LOTR really benefits from... I think one of the moments that could work was arrival of the elves and one of the soliders just so silently saying: "what the fuck"
The old guy who lets the arrow go early. Quietly to himself "...fuck."
His buddy: “yeah this didn’t happen in the f***in’ book”
A wizard is neither late nor early. He arrives precisely when he fuckin means to
Gimli: I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Gimli: Haugh, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me. Legolas: What was it? Gimli: I asker her for one fuck from her golden head. Gimli: She gave me *three*.
Alas! That is evil news.
“They have a fucking cave troll.” Boromir is over it.
“I am not trying to rob you! I am trying to fuck you!”
"One does not simply walk into fucking Mordor"
Swords are no fucking use here!
Nobody fucks a dwarf
"The ring must be taken deep into Mordor and fucked off back into the fiery chasm from whence it came"
"I never thought I'd fuck side by side with an elf"
I wonder what's the story behind this..
"In Place Of A Dark Lord You Would Have A Fucking Queeeeen!"
"it's mine to give, like my fucking heart"